Source of Serendipity
by raindrops855
Summary: Isabella, first year medical intern meets Edward Cullen, who hates doctors with a passion. Will they be able to resist ripping off each other's heads? Or will they 'play nice' for little Sophie's sake? Fate is playing a tricky game. AH
1. Beginnings

_**"You don't reach Serendib by plotting a course for it. You have to set out in good faith for elsewhere and lose your bearings … serendipitously."**_**  
**_- John Barth, The Last Voyage of Somebody the Sailor_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

After a year of residency, I was still terrified of working at the emergency room. I mean, it always went fine once I started the shift, but I still inadvertently felt a tight knot in my stomach for days leading up to it.

The thing about working in the ER is that you never know what comes up. There is no telling what the next patient is going to present with and that prospect is terrifying for a young, inexperienced doctor.

This day was no different. My shift had started two hours ago but I still hadn't really settled in. It was one of those crazy days, and since General had shut down their ER for a water leak, all their cases were being diverted to us.

Figures. The _one_ day I have to be here, the other big hospital decides to load us with all their weight.

I sighed as I sent Mrs. Roberts packing home with her not-so-emergency bump on the foot and walked over to the nurses' station to get a new patient. I made a quick scan of the room while I was walking, trying to estimate just how crowded we were tonight.

My eyes caught sight of a commotion across the room.

A man was standing with his back to me. He was wearing a gray suit and gesturing wildly with his hands at the nurse standing in front of him. She held a chart in her hands and stared at him with a very annoyed look. She opened her mouth and said something, which only increased the man's frantic hand movements and he started yelling.

I took a deep breath and walked over to where they were standing.

The closer I came, the more I could hear of the argument.

'Sir, I understand your friend is not feeling well. But you have to understand that there are other patients here who are equally…' Nurse Morgan was trying to calm him with a soothing tone.

'Don't you dare tell me how my friend is feeling and damn as hell don't compare him to anyone else here. You people haven't even looked at him yet!' I flinched at how loud his voice was now. The volume was increasing by the minute.

'Sir, once again, you need to _calm down_. As soon as a doctor is free they will look at your friend. We have done a primary evaluation of him and we have to prioritize the patients with more urgent matters first.'

'HE IS LYING IN HIS BED AND WRITHING IN PAIN!' The man was screaming now. 'Are you people really _that _incompetent that you don't see the urgency in that? People put their lives in your hands, for God's sake!' He was shouting at the top of his voice now and the whole emergency room was looking in their direction.

The nurse tried to keep her voice calm. 'He has been given pain medication and will feel better as soon as it starts to take effect. Sir, you have to trust us.'

Silence. I focused at the back of the man's head to try to guess at his reaction. Suddenly, he broke into a manic feat of laughter. I was so startled at how loud it was that I took a step back. I looked around the room to see people give him pitiful looks at his apparent breakdown.

I walked and stood between the man and the nurse. 'Joan, I can take this patient now.' I held out my hand towards the chart that the nurse was holding, as I decided to tackle the problem at its root.

He grabbed the chart from Nurse Morgan's outstretched hands before I got to it.

'I don't need another nurse to fuss over him. Get me a fucking doctor right now or I am suing this hospital's ass to…'

I turned around to face him now. I tried to block out his ranting curses when I looked at his face. I squinted my eyes a little and studied his features. His wavy hair was a very rare shade of copper-bronze. His piercing green eyes had an odd squint in the corners; one of them was a little swollen and a hint of purple starting to form underneath the swelling. His straight nose had a hint of an upturn at the end.

I heard him continue to curse at the hospital and the stuff and demand to see a doctor before he lit the place on fire.

'I'm a doctor.' My voice came out almost as a whisper.

His eyes snapped to mine and his brows furrowed.

'You're too young to be a doctor.'

'I'm a first year intern.' I tried to make my voice stronger.

He huffed and looked at Nurse Morgan. 'I want a real doctor.'

I rolled my eyes and snatched the chart out of his hand. I guessed that it was the element of surprise that left him gaping. I took a quick look at it and after I had found out some basic information, I walked over to the patient who was lying on a bed next to the crazy man and Nurse Morgan. The blond man was lying with his eyes squeezed closed and breathing carefully.

'Hello Mr Hale. I am Dr. Swan. How are you feeling?'

'It's getting better.' He carefully ran his hand over his abdomen.

'Can you tell me what happened?'

The patient's friend started to bellow before he had a chance to answer my question. 'How many times do I have to repeat the same thing! If you had been competent enough to write it down the first time then Miss Pretend Doctor here wouldn't have to be grilling him with questions again.' He pointed an accusing finger at Nurse Morgan then turned to me. 'We got into a fight with a bunch of assholes and they smashed us up!'

'I would like to hear the answer to my question from my patient, if you don't mind.'

'Fuck this!'

'Edward, back off,' the patient, Jasper Hale's voice rang out from the bed. My head snapped in his direction and then to his friend. _Edward_. Jasper Hale's voice was weak but I could still hear clear irritation in it.

'Fuck you Jasper. If you had just listened to me and gotten on the jet instead of coming here, we would be in LA by now and you wouldn't have to lie here while these sorry ass motherfuckers just watch you die.'

'I'm not dying you idiot. And if _you_ had listened to me and not gotten into a fight, I wouldn't have to step in and get my ass kicked to save yours. Now stop being such a pain and let these people do what they have to do. I'm sorry doctor…'

'Swan.'

'I apologise for my friend Dr. Swan. He gets a little…um…_uncomfortable_ at hospitals. ' I heard his friend, _Edward_, snort from where he was standing.

'So you were in a fight?...Or rather, trying to break up a fight?' I threw a disapproving look at his friend while I continued taking the patient's history.

'Yes.'

I lifted his gown to examine his torso for signs of trauma.

'Can you show me where you got hit?'

'Mostly in the stomach.'

'Did they hit you with any hard object or was it just punches?'

'Just fists.'

'Ok, I will draw some blood for tests and then send you up to radiology for a CT, Mr. Hale. When you come back, a resident will take over your case. I would prefer if a more experienced doctor took a look at you since I'm relatively new to this and your injuries could be more extensive than they appear to be. I heard earlier that you were in a lot of pain? Are you still?'

'No, Edward exaggerated a little. I had some pain before but not any more.'

'That's because of the pain medicine Mr. Hale. Please stay as still as possible until your CT. A nurse will take you up to radiology shortly.'

'We don't need a nurse. I can take him.' His friend interrupted.

'I'm sure you can but it's hospital policy.'

'I don't give a damn about your policies. I wasn't asking for permission. From what I have witnessed of how competent you people are, they're probably going to drop him on his ass if they try to move him.'

'Sir, as long as your friend is my patient, I am afraid you do need my permission to move him anywhere. ' And secondly, even if they would drop him on his ass they wouldn't cause nearly as much damage as you have caused smartass, I added as an afterthought to myself.

'I don't need some pesky little girl telling me what to do. Go get me your supervisor.'

I almost rolled my eyes.

'If you mean my _resident_, then as I have already told you, he will be taking over the case as soon as your friend comes back from radiology.'

'Edward Cullen, I swear to God I will throw your ass out of this hospital if you don't stop being such a pain.' Before Jasper could end his threat, my head had snapped towards his friend. His frustration and anger fell away from my sight as I noticed the pain in his face that was hidden behind it all. The purple around his eye was getting darker.

'Would you like me to look at that for you?' I pointed to his eye.

He glared at Jasper then me. 'I'll be dead before I let one of _you_ ever touch me.' Then he stormed out of the room.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I took my dinner break and sat by the window at the cafeteria. I ordered a cup of tea and drank it while I saw the rain cascade down the glass on the window. That day, while sipping my cup of tea, I thought for the thousandth time about the reason I became a doctor. I thought back to my teenage years, all those days so many years ago when I had slowly and gradually fallen in love with medicine without realizing it. When I had discovered how beautiful medicine could be and how beautiful it could make the people involved in it. How it had transformed my life. How it had transformed the shy teenager who could see herself a few years down the line at the bank or supermarket in her town into a strong headed and determined fighter who had decided to make more of her life. How my parents' eyes had lit up with excitement when I had told them what I wanted to be. How they had made it their mission in life to give me the opportunities required to achieve this life that they could never even dream of. I thought about Charlie and Renee sitting up close to the stage in the large auditorium with eyes brimming with tears on the day I got my MD. I was on my way to that life. Of making a life for myself that was the dream of the teenager all those years ago.

I worked night and day to try to be good at my job. I poured my heart into every patient I met. I went to every conference I could manage, applied for every research grant I knew of. I dreamed of securing a good residency position and one day being successful and accomplished.

As the rain continued to pour I closed my eyes and smiled as I whispered the only thing I could say to the memories of my teen years when I had found so much meaning in life: 'Thank you.'

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I smiled at the beautiful yellow daisies. By some divine stroke of inspiration I had decided to check on Jasper Hale one more time before leaving for the night that day after I had met him in the ER. The resident had thought that he was stable enough to wait for surgery for another day but some of his blood tests were still a little too unstable for my comfort. So I had done a quick exam one more time before leaving that night and discovered that his condition had deteriorated considerably. He had internal bleedings that the CT earlier hadn't caught and was taken into surgery right away. Everything had gone well and he was discharged earlier today, which is what the flowers were for.

There was a card.

'_Dr. Swan, you saved my life. Please call me so that I can thank you properly.'_

I felt quite touched by the gesture. I was merely doing my job and the flowers were more than what was necessary. But I decided to return the kindness with the phone call Jasper Hale had requested.

'Hello?'

'Hi, this is Dr. Swan.'

'Oh hi Dr. Swan! Thank you so much for calling. I really appreciate you taking the time.'

'It's not a problem Mr. Hale. Thank _you_ for the flowers. They were beautiful but highly unnecessary.'

'Dr. Swan, if you hadn't come back that night to check on me…'

'Someone else would have.' I cut him off before he could give me all the credit. Seriously, jeez, all I did was check on a patient.

'No, they wouldn't Dr. Swan and you know that. I was supposed to be resting and they would only have checked on me in the morning. I know very well that you went out of your way to do that. You didn't need to.'

'Mr. Hale, it's no big deal. Really. My patients are my responsibility and if I have doubts about the treatment I will always go out of my way to make sure they are ok.'

'Your kindness meant my life that night Dr. Swan.'

I sighed deeply. 'It really is not that big of a deal Mr. Hale. I'm glad you're doing ok. Now please stay out of trouble so I don't have to see you in the ER again.'

'I will. I can't promise for my idiot friend though. And if he gets into trouble I will have no choice but to intervene.'

Ok, so his friend had a knack for getting into trouble. No, I hadn't guessed that at all.

'Must be tough having a friend who insists on putting you in harms way through no fault of your own.'

´You have no idea. By the way, I'm sorry Dr. Swan. He was quite harsh to you that day. But I would just like you to know that it wasn't meant personally…he just has a thing against doctors.'

'Really? I didn't get that from him at all.' I rolled my eyes at his statement of the obvious.

He chuckled lightly and then there was radio silence for a few moments.

'Um…Dr. Swan, would you please let me take you to dinner or something? To make it up to you for unleashing my untamed beast of a best friend on you? And to say thank you?'

Oh, here we go again.

'Mr. Hale, really, you have nothing to…' He cut me off.

'Please. My wife will have my head if I don't. She was on her way here to do it herself, but I figured you are a petite woman and would possibly need to be hospitalized after one of her boulder-crushing hugs. If you think about it, you are really doing yourself a favor if you let me do this.'

I sighed.

'Please Dr. Swan.'

'Ok, ok, jeez. Stop pleading, it's not like you are asking me for my kidney or something. I would love to go to dinner. But on the condition that it will only be for the purpose of making up for unleashing the beast. Get over the thank you business.'

He chuckled again. 'Deal.'

'Secondly, promise me that I really am safe from this boulder-crushing hug business, because quite honestly, that's kind of scary.'

Now he laughed. 'Oh you have no idea Dr. Swan. That woman is a force of nature.'

I laughed at his words and the love that dripped out of his voice at the mention of his wife.

'Thirdly, for God's sake, if we are going to dinner the least you can do is stop being so formal. Please call me Isabella.'

'Does that mean you will call me Jasper?'

'Unless you prefer Jazz?'

'Please God no. That's what Alice calls me when she's trying to butter me up into doing something that I really really don't want to be doing.'

'Alrighty then, Jazzy it is.'

He laughed loud.

'How does tomorrow at 7 work for you?'

'Great. Meet me outside the hospital entrance?'

'Sure.'

And that is how I found myself walking towards the main entrance to meet Jasper Hale for dinner the next day. Added to my natural talent for not being able to say no to people, Jasper Hale's insistence had made it very difficult for me to turn him down. In the past 24 hours I had gone back and forth a thousand times in my mind about doing this but finally, my curiosity had won the better of me.

Jasper Hale brought me to an upscale Italian restaurant where the waiters pulled out our chairs and I was afraid to move too much in case I broke something. It was strange, but we had chattered away on the way here like old friends. Jasper and I had somehow clicked very easily and his easy going and kind demeanor made me feel very comfortable in his presence. He told me about his wife Alice and his work at the Cullen family business back in LA, where they were from. I told him about working at the hospital, my parents back in Jacksonville, the usual.

We both ordered pasta and sipped wine while we continued our chattering.

'Really?' My eyes were wide as saucers at Jasper's recent revelation. He laughed heartily.

'You met in high school?'

He nodded. 'Is that so strange?'

'No, not strange, just not very common…these days.'

He smiled. 'I know. Very few high school romances make it through college, let alone marriage. But Alice and I…well, to be honest she really didn't have a choice. I would have jumped off a cliff if she refused to marry me.'

'My parents met in high school too.'

'Oh?'

'Yeah, but their reasons for getting married were different.' I pointed at myself as I said this.

Jasper looked confused.

'Charlie knocked up Renee.'

'I see. But they're still together?'

'Yeah. And freakishly happy in spite of being forced into getting married due to the existence of evil spawn.'

'Good for them. Not letting the evil spawn form a crack in their love.' He winked.

'You know Jasper, for a guy, you seem very optimistic about the notion love. Alice must be one hell of a woman.'

'Oh, she really is. I hope you two can meet someday.'

'I'd love to-' his phone went off before I could finish my answer. He excused himself and answered the phone.

'Hey…I'm at Tortellini. How'd it go?...Mmhmm…Calm down, Edward. It's fine. We can have another meeting with them before we fly back…Yeah yeah, you're hungry, but yelling at the Japanese clients isn't going to help that situation. Just order room service as soon as you get back to the hotel…Um …' Jasper looked at me with cautious eyes. 'I don't know if that's a very good idea. I can eat with you again when I get back…No you dumbass, of course not…Edward, for the love of God…Hold on a minute…' He sighed and covered the phone with one hand before continuing. 'Is it alright if Edward joins us for dinner? He has a thing against eating alone.'

'Um…ok.' Jasper seemed to have missed the fact that his friend might have a bigger thing against eating with me. But what else would I say, seriously. No, I don't want your jerk of a friend to join us for dinner even though you have been so kind to me all evening.

Edward Cullen arrived at the restaurant fifteen minutes later wearing a black suit this time. His face, which was impatient when he first walked in the door, had turned into a glare when he saw me sit across from Jasper. I watched as he gathered up energy to mask his face behind an emotionless expression as he walked to our table.

'You didn't tell me you were with…' He said to Jasper and flicked his eyes towards me to show what he meant. No 'hi', nothing.

'Edward, I told you yesterday that I was meeting Isabella for dinner.' Jasper glared at him.

'No you didn't.' He spat.

'Yes I did.'

'I would have remembered that Jasper.'

'Well, one of these days if you start paying attention to me when I talk maybe you will pick up on things like that.'

'Whatever.' He grabbed a chair and slumped down on it. Then he gestured to a waiter and scared the poor guy to death while he ordered a steak with very specific requirements. I stared in amazement at how one man could scare another so effectively while asking him to bring him food.

Once he was done ordering he pulled out a packet of cigarettes and started to light one when I noticed the look of utter fright on the waiter's face at what he had to say next.

The waiter almost whispered. 'Sir, this is a non-smoking restaurant.'

Edward Cullen looked up at the waiter with a cigarette between his lips and one of his hands holding the lighter flame close to the cigarette while the other one was cupped around the flame. He gave the waiter a long hard look. 'You're fucking kidding me right?' He mumbled with the unlit cigarette still between his lips.

'No Sir. My apologies if this causes you any inconvenience.' The waiter rushed out his words.

Edward Cullen now turned the force of his glare towards Jasper. 'Why did you pick a fucking non-smoking place?'

Jasper huffed in irritation. 'Because that wasn't a problem until you decided to invite yourself to my and _Isabella's_ dinner.' I noticed that he emphasized my name, as a way of trying to get his friend to acknowledge my presence somehow.

'Well, sorry for crashing your fucking party.' He took out the cigarette from his mouth and threw it on the table.

Jasper slapped his hands on the table. 'Alright, that's it. Edward, Isabella is my guest today and you can either behave and show my friend some respect or you can leave and you and I can have a talk when I get back to the hotel.'

Edward Cullen gave me a disgusted look and murmured, 'Fine.'

'Fine what?'

'_Fine_ Jasper.' He gave Jasper a look that said 'don't push it'.

'Perhaps you can start by saying hello to her. God, Edward. The girl's going to think we were brought up in a barn or something.'

Edward glared at Jasper while the next word came out of his mouth. 'Hi.'

I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or something, so I didn't know if I was supposed to respond. I opted to remain quiet. Which was a bad decision because now his glare turned towards me and he waited expectantly.

'Hi, Mr. Cullen. Nice to see you again.' My voice sounded totally unaffected by what had been happening until now as it came out all calm and collected.

Edward Cullen looked once at Jasper then turned his head to look out the window.

Jasper asked me about how it was living in Seattle, I assumed to deflect the conversation from our not so pleasant exchange, and I focused on answering him. Edward Cullen didn't speak again for the next hour or so as we dined. He kept his eyes focused on his plate or out the window the whole time while Jasper and I resumed our early chattering. He grimaced once or twice at something one of us would say but otherwise seemed to be blocking us out for most of the time.

Our conversation ultimately turned to the events of the night when Jasper had come in to the hospital and he told me about how his pain had escalated after he was moved to a ward but he had thought it was normal so hadn't complained about it. I asked him how he had been feeling since he was discharged and he told me he had been feeling fine. I was telling him how glad I was to hear that when I felt an intense pair of eyes on me.

Edward Cullen was looking right at me with very intense eyes. It seemed like there was an internal battle going inside him and finally he closed his eyes for a moment as he apparently made up his mind about something. He took a deep breath.

'You saved Jasper's life. Thank you.' Jasper stopped his fork halfway on its course to his mouth and stared at his friend for a few seconds.

'It's not a big deal.' I shrugged and gave Jasper a smile.

'It is to us.' He spat.

'Of course. That's not what I meant. I meant that you don't need to thank me. It's my job.'

'Yeah, I know it's your _job_ and that's why you did it. But for the rest of us, Jasper's life actually means something. So take the fucking thank you and be happy.'

'Um, what Edward _means,' _Jasper gave his friend a warning look before turning to me and continuing, ' …is that since you help so many people every day, it probably doesn't feel like such a big thing to you Isabella, but it _was_ a big deal. And you actually went out of your way to take care of me even though some of us caused havoc at that place that night.' He gave his friend an accusing look at the end.

'Yeah, tell me about it. I'm surprised there were any windows left in that hospital.' I regretted the words even as I spoke them. I really couldn't tell you where they came from. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was all the jerkiness that Edward Cullen had been throwing at me all this time. My inner snarkiness, that I had been suppressing until now had peeked out from nowhere.

'Excuse me?' His voice was eerily calm. I looked up at him to see that he looked like an angry tiger that someone had just challenged to a duel. Yup, I was that someone.

I looked at Jasper who shook his head minutely to warn me. I figured I'd already challenged the freaking tiger then I might as well go down as a man. So to speak.

'You heard me Mr. Cullen. Wouldn't you agree that it was highly unnecessary to smash your fists through the window at Radiology because they made you wait a few minutes?'

He leaned back on his chair and smirked.

'I think your board of directors would disagree with you regarding the necessity of my actions considering the new wing I have donated to that godawful shithole as a compensation.'

'You think you can compensate for your aggression towards hospital property with money? You don't see the lack of morals there?' I could hear the condescension in my tone but didn't really care at that point.

'That's big talk coming from someone who chose a profession that builds on making money off of people's misery and sickness.'

My ears burnt with fury at his words.

'If that's your opinion of the medical profession then I am sorry for you. You are a lost case Edward Cullen.' I spat the words at him and decided that I had to leave before I caused more damage. He had demeaned the one thing that was of the most value to me in life.

'Jasper, thank you for the meal. It was a pleasure spending time with _you_. I'll call you before you fly off ok?'

With that I left the restaurant. I had tried, but Edward Cullen was too much of an asshole to deserve any of my sympathy at that moment.

**A/N: What the hell is Edward's problem? And why is Bella trying to reign in her natural inclination to snap? Good? Bad? Ugly? Shall I go on?**


	2. Butterfly bonds

"_**It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world."**  
- Unknown_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

My life in Seattle was hectic. I worked full days and took on many shifts at nights. I commuted across the city to go between my apartment and the hospital every day. It left very little time over for things like buying food and cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. I spent my days off catching up on those things. I missed my parents being nearby. They would occasionally stock my fridge or do my laundry when I was too busy to do so myself, back when I used to live closer to them. However, my main reason for missing my parents was not just their help with household chores.

I was lonely. I had moved to a new city by myself a year ago and didn't really know anyone here. Add to that my endless hours at the hospital, I had very little time to make friends. I occasionally went out with people from the hospital but that was it. Most of the time I was too busy to notice the loneliness too much. But on my days off, when I was cleaning the apartment or cooking or doing grocery shopping I missed having someone to talk to.

I talked to my parents on the phone whenever I had time in the evenings. It was nice to hear Renee complain about Charlie's lack of exercise or his incessant fishing while Charlie grunted in the background. It was comforting to hear the sounds of my parents' voices and it made me feel less like I was by myself in this world full of people.

I also spoke occasionally to Jasper and Alice. After Jasper had returned to LA, Alice had called me to thank me herself and she and I had clicked even better than Jasper and I had. She had the same sense of easy going and honest attitude as Jasper, and it was easy to see why they loved each other so much. In the past few months, I became quite close to the two of them. They called me from time to time on my days off and the conversations always ultimately ended up in me rolling on the floor laughing while Alice chewed Jasper's head about something while he teased her mercilessly. There was never a dull moment while talking to those two. I had a feeling that they knew I was lonely and so they extended their friendship to me, which I gladly took.

Which is why, when I got the opportunity to do my Cardiology rotation in LA, I took it. It was an eight week rotation and I could have stayed in Seattle and done the rotation there, but there were way too many positive things about the other option. It would be nice with a change of location for a while, especially to the sunny warmth of California as opposed to the constant rains in Seattle. The hospital in LA was a high ranked one, which would do wonders for my CV. And finally, it would be nice to get to meet Alice and spend some time with her and Jasper.

The only problem was, of course, that Jasper and Alice didn't come on their own. They came with complications. And considering my last run in with the complications hadn't gone too well, I was unsure of whether this was such a good idea any more. Of course, there was a part of me that wanted to try to resolve things with Edward Cullen so that I could get to know the Cullens as well as the Hales. But I had already proved to myself that night at the restaurant that my patience, regardless of how much of it I always thought I had, ultimately ran short in front of the mammoth amount of crap Edward Cullen threw at me.

I would have been fine with it if he had just ignored me and let me be, but he was adamant on making me feel just _how_ much he hated me, and his ill-mannered behavior was hard to ignore when it was all focused on me.

Jasper had apologized to me for his friend the day after the dinner and neither of us had really mentioned him ever since. Alice would occasionally mention going over the Cullens but that was about it. I think they both understood that I didn't want to talk about the Cullens and so they kept that part of their lives away from me.

I had finally decided that Edward Cullen's bad manners were not worth throwing away such a nice opportunity. I knew that I would eventually end up running into the Cullens if I was seeing Jasper and Alice, but I decided to face that battle when I came to it.

And so, I smiled as widely as my face could take when I stepped out of the plane at LAX and was met by the warm California air. I felt the breeze in my hair and inhaled deeply. My doubts from earlier about making this decision disappeared as everything about being here felt right to me: the sun, the warmth, the sky. Also, the air of this city didn't feel as strange to me as Seattle did. There were people here who I knew and who knew me. People who cared about me and whom I cared deeply about. I smiled to myself and tried to contain my excitement as I made my way to baggage claim.

After I had retrieved my bags I spotted the line of cabs outside and was making my way to them when I heard the shriek.

'Isabella!'

I barely had time to turn towards the direction the voice was coming from before someone crashed into me and crushed my ribs as their arms squeezed me. Hard. The _boulder crushing hug,_ ladies and gentlemen.

I wrapped my arms around her and laughed.

'Hi Alice! What are you doing here, you crazy woman?'

She stopped squeezing me and pulled back but still kept her hands on my arms.

'Picking you up, silly. You didn't really think I'd let you take a _cab_, did you?' She said the word 'cab' like it was some deadly tropical disease.

'What's wrong with taking a cab?'

'They are _dirty'._ She said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I raised my eyebrows.

'Just the fact that I have to tell you that shows how much I have to teach you, Isabella.' She shook her head disapprovingly and I smirked because she was actually serious. Her face went back to an excited expression again.

'I can't believe you're here! Finally! You don't know how many times I've been begging Jazz to take me to Seattle to see you.'

'Well, what can I say Alice. I got tired of waiting for your slow asses to show up so I decided to invade California instead.' Her face changed into a soft expression now.

'I'm glad you're here.'

I gave her a wide smile.

'Now let's get going before Jazz gets a ticket for parking by the gates for too long.' She grabbed hold of one of my bags and led us outside. Right outside the gates, Jasper stood outside a red Porsche that must have cost more than all my student loans combined.

His face broke into a wide grin as he saw us approaching and he walked up to us and gave me a hug.

'Nice to see you again, Dr. Swan.' He tipped his head a little to the front.

'Likewise Mr. Hale.' I returned.

'Oh my god you two, stop being such dorks and let's get going already. Isabella must be tired out of her mind after her flight.' Alice started pushing us towards the Porsche.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

A week had passed since I had arrived. Jasper and Alice had met with me almost every day helping me settle in and showing me my way around the city. It had been a hectic and crazy week, but I couldn't remember the last time I'd had so much fun. The two of them would mostly pick me up after work and take me shopping for necessary things for my apartment – I had rented a furnished apartment for my eight weeks here, which Alice had helped me find. Afterwards, we went out for dinner and or went to Alice and Jasper's place to hang out.

One thing I had learned about Alice in the past few months was that she had a hard time taking a 'no' from people. I had felt a hint of that during our phone conversations, but this had become a universal truth to me since I had arrived in LA. It was like the woman had a filter in her head that just sifted the word out when someone said it to her: 'Alice, I don't want that really expensive looking whisk for my kitchen' – I sighed as I caught glimpse of the shiny silver whisk in my kitchen drawer the next day – 'Alice, please don't pack all that food for me to take home.' – I was eating Alice's lemon chicken for lunch the next day – 'Alice, don't come to pick me up, I'll come to you guys.' – sure enough, she was the first person I saw when I stepped out of the hospital.

Needless to say, I was a little surprised when she had given in so easily when I declined her invitation for thanksgiving a few days ago. I had considered her acceptance of my 'no' a small blessing from God and decided to not draw too much attention to it. Sure enough, she had shown up at my door on Thanksgiving Day to drag me out.

I was quite startled when my doorbell rang. As soon as I had opened the door my eyes were wide with shock at seeing them there.

'Pack a bag and doing it now. Or I will do it for you.' Alice threatened and walked past me into the apartment. I looked to Jasper who held up his hands in surrender. 'It's all Alice.'

Obviously, the last thing I wanted to do was spend Thanksgiving by myself. The temporary move to LA had caused a massive hit on my finances and so, going to my parents only to fly back the day after didn't seem very smart at this point. I had actually secretly been hoping that Alice and Jasper would want to spend thanksgiving with me, but that was before she had told me that they always spend it with the 'whole' family – that is, together with the Cullens. Apparently, their relation to the Cullens was more than just Jasper and Edward Cullen's friendship. Since Alice and Jasper were both orphans and Jasper had been practically brought up by Edward Cullen's father, they celebrated all holidays with the Cullens. In fact, Alice told me that the last week was the least amount of time they had

spent at the Cullens' place since they were spending time with me instead. Apparently, Edward Cullen's father had missed them and had requested my presence at thanksgiving together with them.

'Look it's a family thing. I really don't want to impose.' I tried really hard to get Alice to see my point of view in this.

'Don't be ridiculous, Isabella. You wouldn't impose. Believe me, Carlisle wouldn't invite you if he didn't mean it.'

'Alice, it's really very nice of you guys to think of me. But I really don't feel comfortable crashing someone's thanksgiving dinner like this.' I looked to Jasper for help who now smiled apologetically and shrugged.

'I understand it feels weird Isabella. But it would really mean a lot to us if you would come.' Traitor, I thought and gave him a glare.

Alice huffed a little in frustration. 'To be honest, I am a little offended. Just the fact that you believed we would leave you by yourself for thanksgiving! My god, Isabella. Does our friendship really mean that little to you?'

I looked at Alice then Jasper then back at Alice. Ok, so apparently the woman wasn't above guilting me. And it was starting to work. I started to feel bad. They had driven all this way just to come and get me. These two had been the kindest people that I had met in many years. They had given me so much love in a short amount of time and I was grateful for every moment they spent with me that I didn't have to spend alone. As uncomfortable as this evening was going to make me, I couldn't find it in me to turn them away from my door empty handed. I sighed in defeat.

'Are you sure it's alright with Mr. Cullen though?'

'Of course it is. Carlisle is really excited to meet you.'

'No, um, I meant his son.' I looked at Jasper whose eyes tightened in understanding and he opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by Alice.

'No one cares what Edward thinks.' She said with a wave of her hand. I stared at how easily she dismissed him. She saw the look on my face and continued.

'Look, I know that he acted like a jackass with you in Seattle. The only thing I can say is, it's nothing personal. He's like that with almost everyone. There's nothing we can do about his asshole-like-tendencies anyways, believe me I have tried.' She widened her eyes to let me see the truth in her words before continuing.

'So just do what the rest of us do. Ignore him. Now look Isabella, every year these guys make me slave away making thanksgiving dinner and I was hoping that this year you would be by my side and we could spend some quality time together and bond while we cooked together. I will be damned if I let Edward and his scrawny ass come in the way of that.'

Before I had a chance to say anything she was already dragging me up from the couch and led me into my bedroom to pack. She stood back for a few minutes watching me pack until she huffed in frustration and asked if she could do so herself. Apparently I was taking too long and she had a meal for a whole army to prepare. I wasn't really comfortable letting her go through my stuff and pick out my clothes, but she looked quite desperate by this point and I didn't want to risk finding out what pushing that would unleash.

I went back out to the living room where Jasper was lounging. He patted the couch beside him and I went over to join him.

'Why exactly do I have to spend the night there?'

'It's a bit of a drive to get there. We will all be stuffed like the turkey after dinner…driving all the way back to town would be tiring and seems unnecessary.'

I saw the reasoning in that. And I also saw that there was no point to starting an argument with Alice about me taking a cab back. So I sighed, loud.

'It's going to be alright. I promise.' He told me in a serious voice.

'Yeah? You will protect me from the claws of the beast this time when I show up at his den?'

He smiled sadly. 'Can I just ask you for one thing? Just…whenever he gets like that, try to remember that…it's not about you. Edward's just…difficult.'

'I know, Jasper.'

Alice came out of my room hauling my suitcase behind her. 'C'mon lazy bums, I am so far behind the schedule that you all should be lucky if you get to eat by midnight.'

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I sat in the back seat of the red Porsche while Jasper drove and Alice chattered away about her menu. She had a very elaborate meal planned and I was surprised to hear the amount of minute detailing behind it. Jasper gave me an eye roll over the rear-view mirror once, which Alice caught and then threatened to withhold sex for a week. He did not so much as look in the mirror for the rest of the time.

We finally got off the highway and took an exit to one of the suburbs just outside of the city situated on one of the hills. The car winded its way uphill through roads that were lined with high walls and dense trees on both sides. I could only imagine how exclusive the houses must have been when you need walls that high to guard them, and you couldn't even see most of the houses from the road for god's sake.

By now I had been to Alice and Jasper's apartment a few times and I was awestruck every single time. The apartment was huge, with 4 bedrooms, a fireplace and a gym. Alice being an interior designer and all, every single detail of the apartment was planned and deliberate. It was one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen and I had a hard time imagining that people could live in better looking places. However, looking around the neighborhood that they had brought me to now, I had a feeling I would soon change my mind. I realized within the next fifteen minutes what an enormous understatement that was.

We finally turned into a narrow one lane road that was lined with heavy shrubbery on both sides. Between Alice and Jasper's shoulders, through the front windshield of the Porsche, I saw that the road we were on came to a dead-end a few feet ahead of us and at the end was a black wrought iron gate that was probably more expensive than my parents' house in Jacksonville. The iron was intricately designed with shapes of leaves and vines running between the bars. Jasper pulled up in front of the gate and rolled down his window to punch in a few numbers into the security panel on his side of the road. The gate started to swing open and he drove inside.

The road continued on the other side of the gate and Jasper picked up speed once again. We drove for another minute on this road that was flanked off on the left hand side by large open space covered in luscious grass and on the right by a forest that started a few feet off the road. I looked ahead once again to see what exactly we were driving towards and try to come up with some reason as to why a forest area would be cut off from people by iron gates that were code protected.

I got my answer pretty soon. The road abruptly turned left ahead of us and was now covered by overgrown bushes on both sides that almost touched on the top and created a sort of tunnel for the car to drive through. The leaves overhead cut off the sunlight and it suddenly became quite dark inside the 'tunnel', accentuating the bright sunlight that lay at the end of it.

I gasped when we emerged from the tunnel. There was a humongous fountain in brownish pink marble directly ahead of us. The statues in the fountain were large enough so I couldn't even see their heads from inside the car. Water sprinkled out in all kinds of ways from different parts of the fountain and sparkled in the sunlight.

But it wasn't the fountain that had made me gasp. It was the palace like structure that the fountain lay in front of that had knocked the air out of me. It was the same color as the fountain, with large beams in the front that framed the enormous wooden door at the entrance and the balcony on top. The railings of the balcony matched the iron gates from earlier.

I sighed when I considered that this is where these people lived. _This_ was not what I had imagined. A kind of 'house' that I couldn't believe existed in LA, the likes of which I had never even seen on TV. And that's saying a lot for someone who has a deep love for architecture and watches hours of Grand Designs on TV. No wonder Edward Cullen was arrogant. I would be too if I had grown up in a place like this.

The road split up into a circle at the end of the tunnel and transformed into a sandy-gravel covered driveway that formed a circle around the fountain. Jasper drove around the fountain and came to a stop in front of the main entrance.

Alice quickly ushered me inside, mumbling about already having lost a few hours of dinner preparation while Jasper drove on to park the car. I barely got a chance to appreciate the intricately designed wood of the heavy front double door, the huge brass handles, the way the doorway was arched at the top.

I stood in the foyer with my head turned upwards to appreciate the high ceiling and the large crystal chandelier that hung from the top of the second floor. The spiral staircase with black iron railings contrasted the white interiors perfectly. I took in the utter beauty of the place in which I was standing, and realized that this was, in fact, _the_ most extravagant home I had ever stepped foot in. What was weird though, was that I wasn't the least bit intimidated to be here. I had expected to start hyperventilating when we came within a hundred meters of the house but nothing of the sort had happened. And I knew the reason for that. Every single aspect of this house, regardless of how extravagant, had been designed with an endless amount of love. I could almost feel the eyes that had picked out the black and white pictures that hung in random order on the wall of the staircase, or the hands that had lovingly touched the beige curtains that covered the enormous windows. I felt a sting of tears burning my eyes and closed them immediately and begged myself to get a grip.

'Oh, you guys are here!' I heard a voice I didn't recognize and willed myself to act normal as I turned. A man in his fifties with blond hair emerged from the kitchen. As his eyes fell on me they went wide and he abruptly came to a stop in the far end of the foyer.

'Carlisle, this is Isabella Swan.' Jasper came up behind me and cleared his throat before introducing me. The blond man, _Carlisle Cullen_, stood motionless in front of me and did not so much as blink. I got uncomfortable under his stare so broke his gaze to look elsewhere. This seemed to help and his earlier expression was replaced with a more polite one.

'Of course. It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Swan.' He walked across the foyer to where I stood and extended his hand.

'It's nice to meet you too Mr. Cullen. Please call me Isabella.' I shook his hand.

'Isabella.' He gave me a small smile as he continued. 'Call me Carlisle.' He held on to my hand and looked at me for a few moments before he let it go.

'Are you guys going to come help me willingly or do I have to drag you in here?' Alice called out from the kitchen.

Jasper then led me into the kitchen and Carlisle followed. I held back an audible gasp as I took in the size of the enormous kitchen where Alice was now running from one part to the other in a whirlwind preparing what I assume to be dinner.

'Carlisle, I said I wanted lumps in the mashed potatoes!' Alice said without so much as looking behind her.

'Alice, darling, I really tried to stick to all your instructions but there were so many and I kind of lost track after a while…'

'It's alright, it's alright. Just get working now so we get done on time. And you!...' she turned towards Jasper and pointed a ladle at him – 'Get cracking on the salad right now.'

I was quite amused at the authority that this tiny little woman held over these two men. And I noticed all the love in their eyes that they reflected back at her as they nodded at her.

It didn't escape my notice that she had earlier claimed that it was _them_ who made _her_ slave away. The speed with which the guys got to work made me realize the utter fallacy of that claim.

Jasper immediately got cracking on some lettuce while Carlisle went up to the fridge and turned towards me.

'What would you like to drink Isabella?'

'Um…just some water please.' Carlisle handed me a glass of chilled sparkling water. I sipped it and took a seat on one of the barstools by the kitchen island as the three of them then resumed to chopping and frying and peeling.

I ran my hand on top of the black marble counter on the kitchen island that matched the floor. It was cool and smooth and absolutely beautiful. I looked at the enormous cupboards in frosted glass and the stainless steel ultramodern appliances. Then my eyes turned to the French doors on the other end of the kitchen that led to the eternity pool outside that looked like it merged with the view of the ocean beyond.

'You have a beautiful home Carlisle. Thank you so much for inviting me to your thanksgiving.' I tried to put in as much honesty as I could muster to show him my appreciation of not having to eat alone on thanksgiving.

Carlisle moved his chopping board to the island on the side opposite to me and glanced up at me between slicing onions.

He gave me a quick smile.

'Thank you for being with us Isabella.' Then he looked sideways at Alice and raised an eyebrow. 'Although, I would have to say that's quite a loose interpretation of the term _invite_, seeing as you were more or less kidnapped into being here.'

Alice rolled her eyes exaggeratedly.

'Oh for the love of god Carlisle, I did not kidnap the girl. I merely used my powers of persuasion.' She turned towards me and winked.

'And besides, Isabella would otherwise be having dinner on her own. We have to be better than the company of the furniture in her apartment, right?'

I gave her a genuine smile. She knew how I felt.

'That's true. No one should be alone on thanksgiving. It's a shame you are stuck so far away from your parents, Isabella. So, where did you say you were from?' He didn't look up from his cutting board while he spoke.

'Um, well I moved to Seattle a year ago.'

'I see. Where did you live before that?'

'I went to school at Georgia State.'

'Oh, and did you go to high school there too?' He threw me a quick look.

'No. I went to high school in Jacksonville.'

He stopped chopping and nodded without looking at me. Then he took a deep breath and smiled at me warmly before continuing.

'Anyways, there is no need to thank me. Isabella, I can't thank you enough for taking care of my boys in Seattle. Jasper warned me to not bother you too much with my gratitude. But he is as much of a son to me as Edward is, and a father cannot help feeling grateful towards the hands that heal his son.'

'Carlisle, at least give the girl some time to settle in before laying on the mush,' Jasper rolled his eyes.

'No need to thank me, Carlisle. I got much more out of it than I gave.' I smiled and winked at Jasper.

Carlisle caught our exchange and smiled fondly. 'I can see that. It seems that my children have taken quite a liking to you.' He wrapped his hand around Alice's shoulder and put a small kiss on her head.

'Yeah, well not _all_ your kids.' Alice grumbled as she tasted the sauce she was stirring.

'What do you mean?' Carlisle looked between her and me questioningly. I wanted to smack Alice.

'Your youngest has been scaring Isabella to death with his monster-like tendencies. It's a miracle we were able to drag her here today.'

Carlisle looked quickly at Jasper. 'Edward misbehaved with Isabella? Why haven't you told me this before?'

'Oh, please. Don't act surprised. Who does he _not_ misbehave with. And besides, what good would telling you have done? It's not like you ever say anything to the little brat anyways. I keep telling you Carlisle, if you weren't so lenient on him maybe he would take that stick out of his…'

'Alice,' Jasper warned.

Carlisle sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 'I apologize for any rude behavior Edward has shown towards you Isabella. I am very sorry on my son's behalf.'

'Carlisle, _please_. Don't apologize to me. It's not a big deal. And it really wasn't that bad.'

'Not that bad! Isabella, that idiot said…'

'Alice!' Jasper and I yelled in unison. I turned quickly toward Carlisle who now had an agitated look on his face.

'Please don't listen to Alice. It really is alright. I am very glad to be here and to have the opportunity to meet you Carlisle. I would really like to just enjoy my time with all of you today.' I threw a dirty glance at Alice who just ignored me.

Carlisle nodded and brought his chopped vegetables to Alice. The mood in the kitchen had now turned somber and he excused himself after a few minutes and left us by ourselves.

Alice and Jasper kept throwing glances at each other and having some sort of a cryptic conversation through their eyes. I decided to give them some privacy and asked if it was alright if I looked around the garden outside. They told me to explore as much as I wanted and I went out and gazed at the ocean for a few minutes before starting to look around the beautifully landscaped garden.

I was running a finger through the petals of a forget-me-not when I heard a high pitched shriek behind me and turned around. Then I saw a small blur of yellow dash towards me and smack against my legs. From where I stood I saw a head full of brown hair that barely came up to my knees. And two small arms were encircled around my legs and squeezing me with all their strength.

Then the blur turned its head up and I saw a pair of brown eyes looking up at me.

'Hide me.'

Then the face was back to being pressed on my legs, eyes hidden from my view again.

'Um…from who?' I looked up to the direction the tiny girl had come running from to see if there happened to be an axe murderer chasing her or something.

No answer.

I bent down my head a little to the side to try to see her face but it was burrowing further into my legs if possible.

'Are you ok?'

She shook her head from side to side. So, no.

'What's wrong?' I ventured again.

'He's chasing me.'

'Who is?'

She unclasped one arm from around me and pointed in the general direction behind her but said nothing.

'I don't see anyone,' I said.

'You can't see him because he's small.'

Ok, that was good. How dangerous could a small thing really be, right?

The tiny girl stayed put in her position and made no more movement or sound. I realized I would have to take things in my own hands or there was a good chance her form would soon start to fuse to mine. She was getting quite comfortable where she was.

So I bent forward and put my hands lightly on her arms and pried them lose from around my legs. Then I squatted down to get eye level with her.

'Look, don't be scared. I'll protect us from whoever is chasing you, ok?'

She gave me a small nod.

'Now tell me who was chasing you.'

'The butterfly.'

'Oh!' Well that was a relief. I visibly relaxed but then I saw that the girl was just as terrified as before.

'You are scared of butterflies?'

'No. He was a mean one. I saw him sitting on the plant and wanted to say hi. But then he jumped and sat on my nose.' She pointed at the nose in question.

I decided to humor her and put on an annoyed expression. 'Well, that wasn't nice of him at all. Maybe we can go back and talk some manners into him?'

She looked unsure.

'Hey, I promised I'd protect us both right?' Her smiled now and nodded. I held out my hand for her to take.

'Now let's go show this butterfly who's boss around here.'

She looked at my hand for a moment like it was a death trap of something. I gave it a little shake to urge her on and then suddenly she took my hand and started to lead the way to the said monster butterfly.

Once we came to the shrub where she claimed the butterfly had been, it was nowhere to be found. We walked around the garden a little looking for it, but finally the little girl said she was done looking and wanted to go back to the house. She took my hand again and we walked back to the direction we had come from.

When we were almost in the house again, Carlisle came out through the French doors and when his eyes fells on us he looked almost shocked.

'Grandpa! Look I found a fairy!' The tiny girl shrieked and started tugging me towards where Carlisle stood. _Grandpa_? And wait, what? Fairy?

When we were a few feet away from Carlisle she let go of my hand and ran to him. He picked her up before she could smash into his legs too. Ah, that's what you're supposed to do about that.

Carlisle opened his mouth to say something but she beat him to it.

'We need to get her a dress though.' She wrinkled her nose.

'Hey, first of all, not all fairies need to have a dress. And secondly, I never said I was a fairy.' I looked at Carlisle and smiled.

The kid gave me this look that said she didn't believe me for a second.

Carlisle cleared his throat. 'I didn't realize you two had met already.' He looked between the girl and me.

'Oh, we didn't really. There was a mean butterfly situation out in the yard that needed a third person perspective and I happened to be there.'

Carlisle gave me a tight smile then turned his look back to the girl in his arms. 'You need to get inside and wash up before dinner, little one. Aunt Alice is going to have both of our heads if you bring all that dirt to the kitchen.'

Then he started to carry her into the house.

'Hey!' I smiled when they turned their heads towards me. 'You never told me your name.'

'You haven't told the fairy your name darling?'

She shook her head from side to side. I walked up to them.

'What's your name?'

'_Princesse_ Sophie,' she said in a perfect French accent. It confused me a little since she had been speaking in a perfect American accent all this time.

I held out my hand to her.

'My name is Isabella.'

'Isssa…bella?' she asked. I nodded and smiled at her apparent difficulty in pronouncing my name.

'Issa. Bella….. Bella,' she said while she timidly put her hand in mine. I felt a twinge in my heart at hearing her call me that. Carlisle looked at our connected hands with a surprised expression again.

'You can call me Bella if you like. My best friend used to call me that.'

She smiled a wide smile now.

'Hi Bella.' I smiled back at the little kid wrapped in yellow.

'Hi Sophie.'

**A/N: There is a picture of the Cullen home in my profile. The house is almost exactly how I imagined it but I couldn't find one with the fountain in the front. Just use your imaginations :D :D And leave me some love!**


	3. Good beginnings out of bad endings

_**''What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.''  
**__- Richard Bach_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Carlisle took Sophie inside to get her changed and I walked back into the kitchen where Alice and Jasper were still at work.

'Hey you guys, do you need some help?'

'Oh no Isabella. Just sit back and relax. Despite the snail pace at which Carlisle and Jasper move in the kitchen, I have managed to get things under control.' Alice was stirring a sauce and gave me a knowing smile, at which Jasper just shrugged and went back to soaping the dishes.

'You know Alice, men are generally supposed to be watching the game on Thanksgiving. You should at least be a little thankful that we even bother to…'

'I dare you to finish that thought Jasper Hale.'

Carlisle walked back into the kitchen.

'Alright now, cut it out you two. Let's not make Isabella regret her decision to spend this day with us by witnessing another one of your Thanksgiving Day explosions.'

'Sorry Pop.' The two of them said in unison then started snickering at Carlisle who just shook his head and took a seat across from me by the kitchen island.

'Sorry I didn't get the chance to introduce you properly to Sophie earlier.' Alice and Jasper turned around abruptly at what Carlisle said.

'You met Sophie? Was she ok?' Alice turned her eyes toward Carlisle.

'She thinks Isabella is a fairy.' Carlisle gave her an even look. Then he quickly turned to me again.

'Thank you for playing with her. It means a lot to us.' His voice was full of so much sincerity I almost rolled my eyes at him. So I played with the kid, big deal.

'She played with her?' Alice's voice was a little high pitched now and I gave them a very confused look. What's the big deal?

'Alice, darling, can I please talk to Isabella without a constant commentary?' Then without waiting for a reply he continued. 'Sophie doesn't usually…mix…well with, um, other people. That's why we are a little startled to see that she befriended you so easily.'

'Oh, I see.' I found that odd since Sophie and I had been getting along perfectly fine. At least _I_ thought so. I don't know what _she_ thought.

The three of them were looking at me as if they were expecting me to say something. I wanted to raise my hands in the air and yell 'what!' but decided I didn't know them well enough for such reactions. So I just decided to ask them what I was wondering about.

'Do you mind if I ask who she is?'

'No of course not. She is my granddaughter from my eldest son, Ephraim. He passed away a few years ago. Sophie's mother moved back to France shortly after she was born. She is very shy with people outside the family. She barely even talks to anyone other than the four of us. And more importantly, she has an issue with touching people. Her doctors are working with her about it but it has been very difficult to make her overcome her fear. That is why I was quite startled to watch her befriend you so easily.'

'Oh,' was all I could muster. My heart broke at the thought of the tiny yellow thing wrapped around my legs that didn't have her parents with her. Having always had the unconditional love of Charlie and Renee, that was something I couldn't even imagine. A father who passed away, a mother who left after she was born. I wondered why her mother had left but decided that would be pushing it. Carlisle had already told me much more than I would have expected. But I could see how this would be a big deal to them if indeed it was that rare that Sophie played with other people since she had shown no such hesitation with me.

'Well, I guess I'm glad she wanted to play with me.' I said to Carlisle. 'I'm sorry to hear that she has had to have gone through all that. She is a wonderful little girl.'

'Thank you Isabella.'

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Carlisle left the kitchen after a while and Alice and Jasper went back to bickering about the food. I sat at the counter and sipped a glass of water while I laughed shamelessly at their comments to each other. Sitting there, as I thought back to the afternoon, about meeting Carlisle and Sophie, about how much I was enjoying being here, I realized that I had made the right decision to come. And then, out of nowhere, my blood ran cold.

'What the hell is _she_ doing here?' Edward Cullen's voice bellowed out from behind me and I was so startled at the harshness of it that I dropped the glass in my hand and it shattered to a thousand pieces on the floor. I looked at Jasper and Alice who were shocked at both Edward's harshness and the sound of the glass shattering and were frozen for a second.

Without saying a word or looking behind me to see the rage on Edward Cullen's face, I dropped to the floor and started picking up pieces of glass. That's when the spell broke and all hell broke loose.

'Edward, watch what you say. She's our guest.' Jasper warned.

'I thought I made myself clear about this. I told you that you two could _play_ with her as much as you want but keep her the fuck away from me. What the hell is she doing in _my_ fucking house?'

Then Alice snapped.

'First of all, it's not your house. It's Carlisle's and he invited Isabella to join us. And for god's sake Edward, you _told_ us we could _play_ with her? What, now we need your permission to make friends?'

'Alice, don't.' Edward's tone sent chills down my spine.

'Don't what? Could you be more controlling?'

'This isn't about that. Alice, you know why I have a problem with this.'

'Yes, oh god, yes I know. So _what_ if she's a doctor Edward? At least try to get to know the girl before you write her off as the devil because of what she does for a living. It's a profession Edward, it's not a sect. They are not all like…'

'Alice, god help you if you finish that sentence.'

Alice started moving towards him and Jasper caught her hand.

'Why Edward? Why is it so hard to talk about it when you let your entire life be dictated by that one thing.'

'Alice, that's enough.' Jasper ran his hand up and down her arm to soothe her. She sighed and looked at Edward.

I felt him move behind me and he approached the kitchen island. I kept my eyes fixed ahead of me because I would have a hard time keeping myself together if I saw his rage.

I jumped at the sound of metal crashing on the marble top of the island.

'Here, hope you enjoy your thanksgiving dinner.' He slammed down a can of cranberry sauce on the counter and stormed out of the kitchen.

I don't know if it was the proximity of his anger or being startled by the sudden sound, I lost control and tears started to stream down my face. I got frustrated with myself for creating a scene, which increased my flow of tears and it was an evil circle.

I was in Edward Cullen's house and even though I knew just how much he hated me, I was stupid enough to have come here. 'He has his reasons, he has his reasons,' I kept chanting to myself over and over to calm myself down. But it did nothing to help the feeling of humiliation and how unwanted I felt at that moment. I had been so unwilling to be alone that I had forced myself into a place where I was not wanted.

Alice came up to me and wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug and kept apologizing.

'I am so so sorry Isabella. Please don't cry because of him. I am sorry…Jasper, go tell that asshole to come down and apologize to her right now before I go upstairs and harm him physically.'

Jasper sighed and came to my other side.

'You know he won't do that, Alice. Isabella, do you remember what I said to you before. Please, don't be upset. This has nothing to do with you. I am so sorry.'

'What's going on here?' I froze at the sound of Carlisle's voice behind us. Jasper stepped away from us and turned around while Alice kept her arms wrapped around me. I frantically rubbed my cheeks to wipe the tears away so Carlisle wouldn't see them. My back was still turned towards the door so he hadn't seen my face yet.

There was silence in the kitchen for a few moments before Carlisle asked in a cold tone. 'Where is he?'

'I think he went to his room.' Jasper said.

I felt Carlisle approach behind me and stiffened. Alice let go of me and I noticed that her touch was in fact comforting me more than I had realized.

'Isabella,' Carlisle's voice was soft and it comforted me almost as much as Alice's hug had.

I turned around to face him and was stunned by the look of hurt on his face. Suddenly, I could see decades of worth of pain etched on the lines of this handsome man's face and his eyes swam with his sorrow. I immediately regretted causing more pain to this man.

'You were kind enough to accept my invitation to come to my house and my son hurt you to a point that you were shedding tears. I have no words that can make up for such behavior. But I apologize for putting you in this position. You don't have to forgive him but I promise you that Edward _will_ apologize for his behavior.' At this he turned around and left the kitchen. I caught Alice and Jasper sharing a concerned look.

Alice came over to me again and handed me another glass of water. I took a seat on a barstool and started drinking the water. After a few minutes I heard muffled angry voices upstairs. The voices, belonging to Edward and Carlisle, kept getting louder and louder and they had started shouting at each other. Finally I heard something crash and I had enough.

This was not happening. They were fighting on thanksgiving, the whole day was ruined for everyone in this house. And all because of my presence here. I knew what I had to do. I got up from the bar stool and started walking towards the foyer.

'Isabella, wait…' I heard Alice run after me but I was fast and determined. I walked into the foyer and picked up my purse where I had left it on a table in the entrance before Alice and Jasper were even out of the kitchen.

'No, Isabella…' Alice looked defeated as she watched me call for a cab. 'Please don't leave.'

'Alice, I'm sorry. Coming here was a mistake. I should've known better.' I gave the cab company the address to the house.

The crashing noises continued upstairs and Carlisle stormed down the stairs looking furious. His steps faltered when he caught sight of the three of us standing in the foyer and he eyed the purse in my hand.

There was another loud crash upstairs and he let out a deep breath before walking up to where I was standing.

He grabbed a set of keys from a table by the door and held the door open for me. I looked at him with confusion.

'What are you doing?'

'I am coming with you and we will have dinner together. Isabella, I understand that you want to get away from all this but I invited you here today because I didn't want someone who has been kind to my family to be alone on thanksgiving and I am keeping my word.'

'Carlisle, please. You cannot do that. I don't want to make this any worse than I already have.'

'You have done nothing but been kind enough to accept my invitation in spite of how Edward has earlier behaved with you. _I_ should have known better than to expect him to behave.'

'I won't let you leave your family on thanksgiving…' Before I could finish my sentence a high pitched shrieking from upstairs echoed in the foyer.

I immediately recognized Sophie's voice. But her shrieking now was different from before when she had run to me scared of the butterfly. Now it was a continuous sound and she sounded like someone whose life was being pulled out of her. She was screaming with all her might and the pain in that sound broke my heart. She kept screaming continuously and the sound never faltered.

Carlisle, Jasper and Alice immediately started running up the stairs and I followed them. When we came to the upstairs landing I could tell that Sophie's screaming was coming from one the rooms on the left side of the hall. A door on the right opened abruptly and Edward shot out of it and ran into the room that Sophie's screaming was coming from.

The rest of them followed Edward into the room and the Sophie's screams increased, if possible. I stood in the hallway for a few seconds, trying to decide whether it was alright for me to follow them. But the little girl's screams, the little yellow thing that had wrapped herself around my legs a few hours ago, whose father had died and her mother had left her, were tearing through my heart. I couldn't just stand back and not do _anything_.

I stood in the doorway of the room and took in the scene before me. Sophie was curled in a ball on the floor, with her hands around her head and screaming with all her might. Edward was crouched on the floor beside her and he tried to reach out his hand and touch her, which increased the intensity of the screams. Carlisle hovered above them and looked lost. Alice and Jasper were standing near the doorway, with Alice's head hidden in Jasper's chest. She was sobbing and Jasper was running a hand up and down her back while he looked at Sophie and Edward with sad and concerned eyes.

'_Je suis désolé Princesse, très désolé,' _Edward chanted over and over again while he rocked back and forth on his heels from anxiety.

'Carlisle, do something!' Alice pleaded from Jasper's chest. Carlisle ran a hand through his hair and bent down next to Sophie.

'Sophie, darling,' he reached out a hand to touch Sophie's shoulder, which made her wail out and go even more frantic than she was before.

He pulled back his hand like he had been shocked and stood back up, looking between Edward and Sophie repeatedly.

'Dr. Jackson is out of the country. But we could take her to the emergency room.' He said to no one in particular as he continued to run his hand through his hair.

'Fuck this,' Edward said suddenly as he reached out and lifted Sophie off the ground and placed her on his lap.

'Edward, no…' Carlisle said but by then Sophie was flailing out her hands and hitting Edward where her hands reached. He kept talking to her soothingly to calm her down but it only made her more frantic.

I knew a panic attack when I saw one. I had spent way too many nights in the emergency room where we sedated patients to bring them down from their panicked stage. What Sophie was having was no tantrum of a child, it was a full blown panic attack and a considerably intense one for someone her age. Their touches seemed to set her off even more and I noticed that the person that she actually tolerated most right now was Edward. However, I was starting to worry that she would pass out from hyperventilating soon if she kept going at the rate she was going. She wasn't responding to anyone's advances in the room and everything they did only seemed to make it worse, which is why the following turn of events shocked me more than it shocked the rest of them.

'Sophie,' I called out carefully from the doorway.

She didn't look at me but her screams immediately died down to wails and she stopped struggling against Edward. Everyone's heads snapped towards the doorway to see me standing there. The look of shock was in all their faces.

Encouraged by her positive reaction to my voice, I continued. 'Sophie, it's me Bella.' She let out a loud sob.

I carefully stepped inside the room and walked towards where Edward was sitting on the floor with Sophie in his lap and crouched down next to them. Edward gave me a warning glare and I glared back at him. _This has nothing to do with you._

Sophie was still sobbing loudly and I bent my head a little so I could see her face.

'Sophie, what's wrong sweety?'

She sobbed in response but kept her face hidden.

'Tell the fairy what happened sweety. I will make it go away.' I reached out a hand and very very gently ran it down her long hair on her back. Edward looked at my hand in bewilderment, then looked at me and squinted his eyes as he quickly looked me up and down, like he was really _seeing_ me for the first time. He kept his eyes on me as I kept stroking Sophie's hair and she became calmer and calmer under my hands. Edward looked at me like he was trying to figure out a secret.

Sophie whimpered one more time then picked up her face from Edward's chest. The sight of her broke my heart even more. Her cheeks were stained with tears and her eyes were red and swollen. She looked in _so_ much pain. No little girl should ever look like that.

'Can you make it go away?' Her voice was so low I almost couldn't hear her.

I nodded. She seemed so fragile, I was afraid to make a single sound.

'Edward was screaming.' Her tone was sharper now and she sounded like a child complaining to her mother about another child that had hit her or taken a toy from her.

My eyes snapped to Edward's, who closed his eyes at what she had said and sighed loudly. The pain in his face was staggering.

'It's alright, sweety. Edward won't scream anymore.' I looked Sophie in the eyes and tried to sound as confident as I possibly could, then turned my eyes to Edward's again. 'Right, Edward?'

He looked straight at Sophie as he promised her. '_Je te promets_, you will never hear screaming again.'

She pursed her lips, as if trying to decide if he was telling the truth. Edward brushed a strand of damp hair from her forehead and kissed her there.

'_Je suis très très très désolé, Princesse. Pardonne-moi.' _His voice was so small and apologetic, unlike anything I had heard from him before. Unlike anything I would _ever_ expect to hear from Edward Cullen.

Alice came to where we were and put an arm around my shoulder as she sat down next to me. She squeezed my shoulder as her way of thanking me I assumed and looked at Sophie.

'You know, I made the mashed potatoes with lumps in it just the way you like it. Aren't you hungry Sophie?'

Sophie nodded her head.

'Alrighty then. Let's get you freshened up for dinner then we can eat.'

Alice held out her hand to Sophie who climbed out of Edward's lap and then followed Alice out of the room.

I stood up and turned around and was taken aback at the looks of gratitude in Carlisle and Jasper's faces.

'Isabella, I cannot even begin to…' Carlisle started but I interrupted him.

'Please, Carlisle. I am just glad she seems to be alright now. Has she had such episodes before?'

He nodded.

'I assume she has a psychiatrist who works with her then?'

'Yes, Dr. Jackson.'

'Just make sure she has a session with Sophie soon. This only worked because Sophie probably thinks I have magical powers or something of the sort and she believes that I can really take away the cause of her anxiety.' Poor girl, if only she knew that this time, I was actually the reason all this had started and Edward was throwing his fit.

'Isabella, no one has ever been able to bring her out of a fit. We usually have to wait for Dr. Jackson for her to calm down. And she only does it through medication.' Jasper spoke out and I gave him a tight smile at the overwhelming look of gratitude he gave me.

I looked at Carlisle who was now looking at the floor and I was once again taken aback by the humility in his posture. He seemed at a loss of words. I walked up to him and put hand on his forearm to soothe some of his pain.

He looked up from the floor and into my eyes. I gave him a genuine smile.

'How 'bout that dinner you promised me?'

Now his eyes lit up. 'There's nothing I would like more at this moment. The car is outside. Let's go.'

'Isabella, please just stay with us and have dinner here.' Jasper made another attempt.

'Jasper, please.' I felt annoyed because things had actually come to somewhat of a 'good' ending and I just wanted to leave before another disaster broke out. I walked out of the room and down the stairs back to the foyer. Carlisle and Jasper followed behind and we started to make our way out the door.

'Dr. Swan,' Edward Cullen's voice rang out from the staircase. I stood in the doorway and took a deep breath. So much for leaving before disaster broke out.

'Dr. Swan,' his voice rang out again. It was now closer to where I was standing and I turned around to face him.

His face was void of any emotions. He just looked at me intently with a slight furrow to his brows. I sighed in relief at the fact that at least he did not look angry.

'You were invited for dinner here. Why are you leaving?' His face did not change as he spoke.

I felt anger rising up within me at how ridiculous his question was. What did he want me to say? Because _you _don't want me to stay?

'Edward, you know the answer to that question.' Carlisle's voice was clipped and full of anger.

He gave Carlisle one very angry look and then walked closer to where I was standing. He looked me straight in the eyes.

'I am grateful for what you did for Sophie. Don't leave.'

Was he kidding me? What was that? An apology? An order?

I turned around and walked out the door without saying a word. I walked towards the car that was parked up front as I heard Carlisle and Jasper's voice calling out to Edward behind me. In a flash Edward Cullen passed by me and stood between me and the car.

'I said don't go. Stay for dinner. _Please_.' He said the last word from between clenched teeth.

'Mr. Cullen, I have already heard enough from you. Please get out of my way.' I sounded tired and just wanting to get the hell out of there.

'What? You want an apology?_ I'm sorry_. There.' He threw his hands in the air.

I walked around him and continued to the car. I heard him sigh loudly behind me.

'Dr. Swan, I am an asshole whether you like it or not. However, in spite of how I acted earlier you helped Sophie. Now, I have already ruined this godforsaken day and if you leave right now then these people are going to chew my brain alive but _that_ I don't really give a fuck about. However, if you stay instead of dragging my father out with you then at least the family will have dinner together and that part of the day will be salvaged. I will stay in my room and out of your way.'

My anger subsided as I heard Edward Cullen admit to his mistake and be honest about his attitude. He didn't pretend to say that he wanted _me_ to stay, rather that he wanted me to stay so that I could salvage what he had ruined about the day. He wanted my help to fix the damage he had done.

And he had a point. It really was the only way to salvage the day for this family. Besides, I hated the idea of dragging Carlisle away from his family on Thanksgiving Day and I had seen earlier that there was no way I could convince him to not follow me if I left. I wanted the Cullens/Hales to have their family dinner and there was only one more thing I had to do to fix that.

'They can't have a family dinner if you stay in your room Mr. Cullen.' With that I walked back into the house and walked straight to the kitchen to help Alice set up dinner.

**A/N: Leave me some love you guys. I have no idea how I am doing with this one so far... **


	4. The plight of the caterpillar

_**"There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly."**  
- Richard Buckminster Fuller_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I was _frustrated_. There's no better way of putting my feelings into words as I sat in Sophie's room while the rest of them filed out behind the girl, who was apparently leaving before dinner.

I was still in the aftershock of Sophie's attack. Every time she had one of those, something inside me died as I felt how thoroughly I was failing Ephraim. He would have known what to do. He would have taken better care of her.

And although all this time I felt awful every time I couldn't help her, it was still somehow acceptable because I knew that _no one_ could help her. But now, as I sat on the floor of Sophie's room, I felt like a failure because some girl that she didn't even know was able to help her when I couldn't.

I thought about this girl and the times that I had met her before. I realized that since the day we had met that girl had caused irritation, anger, annoyance and fury in me. Nothing out of the ordinary, things that most people caused in me every single day. But today, more than anything else, she was causing utter and absolute frustration.

I was_ irritated_ when she grabbed Jasper's chart from me at that hospital in Seattle and completely ignored me and had her way even though I didn't want her as his doctor.

I was_ angry_ when at that goddamn restaurant she basically said saving Jasper's life was no big deal to her. Then made a dig at my 'behavior' at the hospital.

I was_ annoyed_ when Jasper and Alice suddenly went all crazy over her like she was a goddamn puppy or something.

I was _furious_ when I saw her standing in my fucking kitchen on our fucking thanksgiving. Then to top that, she made Dad, who normally just stayed out of my way and let me be, come up to my room and give me a lecture on how to behave with guests and demand I apologize to her.

And the _frustration_ that I felt now was due to the fact that this girl, who was easy to hate until this moment, had just rescued the most precious thing in my life from a horrible attack. Sophie was having an attack that was worse than usual and the low-life that was her doctor was out of town. While she was lying on the floor and none of us knew what to do about it, I had felt more helpless than I had in years. Then out of nowhere, that girl had just called out to Sophie and she had calmed down. Then she had drawn Sophie completely out of the attack, which otherwise usually left her groggy for days. I was amazed by how easily Sophie let her touch her and that she actually seemed _comforted_ by her touch, while she mostly _tolerated_ most other people that she let touch her.

And all this was very difficult to reconcile with the image of the self-righteous and self-absorbed excuse for a human being that I had known the girl to be until now, since that's how they _all_ were. And now, even though she was still those things, since she was still a _doctor_, there was also a part of her that my Sophie had responded to when she had run her hand down Sophie's back. And that part, that healed Sophie, I couldn't hate no matter how much I tried.

So I was frustrated because I hated _what_ she was, but there was a part of _who_ she was that had helped Sophie, and that conflicted with my general hatred towards anyone of her kind.

I sighed as I thought about the fact that apparently Dad was leaving with her. I had done more damage than I had intended to today. I had intended to make the girl just leave on her own when I fought with Alice in the kitchen but the rest of the crap from the evening I didn't intend. If Dad left now, Alice and Jasper would sit around and mope and Sophie would have yet another ruined holiday to store away in her memory.

Sure, my family was used to me ruining many of their days and just generally seemed to ignore my temper, which is what I had expected them to do today. But I crossed the line when I set Sophie off with my yelling and that shit was fucked up. I had to make it up to her and to the rest of them.

I thought frantically about any way I could salvage what was left of the day for Sophie's sake. First of all, I had to stop Dad from leaving with the girl, but considering his earlier outburst with me, I assumed that he wouldn't let her leave alone. I thought back to my fight with Dad and flinched slightly as I thought about how far he had gone.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

'_Edward, I don't usually interfere in what you do, because I know that you will come around in your own time. But never before have you misbehaved with a guest in our house. You will apologize to Isabella.' His voice was cold and angry in a way that I hadn't heard from him in years._

'_She shouldn't be a guest in our house.' I said without even looking at him._

'_Edward, we owe her Jasper's life.' I turned around to look at him._

'_That's not how she thinks about it. She did it because she gets paid to do it. She said so herself.'_

_Dad sighed. 'Have you even met the girl Edward? She is not like that.' That set me off. Why was he talking about her with so much sympathy in his voice!_

'_How can you just be standing there and defending her! She is one of them for god's sake!'I yelled._

'_Edward…', he sighed and looked away for a second. Then he fixed his eyes on me and he meant business._

'_Son, at some point, you have to stop dealing with _that_ in this way. People aren't defined by their professions.'_

'_That's not true and you know that. They are all the same.' _

_He was quiet for a long time before he continued._

'_Don't you think it hurt me Edward? Do you think my pain is any less than yours? But son, you can't take out _her_ anger on everyone else. Just because they all do the same thing as _her_ for a living doesn't mean they are _her_.'_

_That's when I lost it._

'_How dare you! How dare you talk to me about _her_! Don't ever mention _her_ to me again. She is dead to me.' I yelled._

'_Edward Cullen, regardless of what she has done, she is your mother. I will not tolerate…' He shouted back at me._

'_Bullshit! She is not a mother! What kind of a mother does that? You just want to hold on to that bullshit because you are pathetic enough to still sit around after all these years and hope that she_ _will come to her senses and take you back.'_

'_Edward!' He shouted._

'_Fuck you and fuck her! Fuck all of this.' I picked up the lamp on my bedside table and threw it at the wall. _

_Dad looked at me for a few more seconds and then stormed out of the room._

_It was the first time in years that he had mentioned _her_ to me._

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Agh, I had made such a mess. I had said those things with the intention of hurting him and it had worked. Now he was going to eat thanksgiving dinner with some stranger. Fuck that, if he will only eat with her then she will just have to eat here too.

I got up and ran down the stairs where I saw that they were just stepping out the door. What was her name again? Shit…something Smith…no, Dr. _Smith_ didn't sound right…fuck, I wish I was paying better attention when Alice blabbered away about her to Dad and Jasper…wait, I remember thinking it sounded like a bird….SWAN!

I called out to her but she didn't even have the decency to answer me. So I called again and she turned around this time. Then when I told her I was grateful for what she had done for Sophie and it was alright if she stayed for dinner, the woman just ignored me and walked out. It made my blood boil because I recalled her doing the same thing to me at the hospital with Jasper but I swallowed my anger and ran after her. This wasn't about me; I had to make sure Dad wouldn't leave.

I asked her in a nicer way but she still ignored me. Then I fucking _apologized_ to _her_ and she was still leaving. I had reached my last limit for the day and just told her the truth, that I needed her to stay in order to fix what I had ruined that day. I even offered to not join them for dinner, even though I fucking hated eating alone, but she said something about the whole family being there for dinner and, thank the heavens, went back into the house.

I looked towards Dad to see his reaction and he just gave me an even look and went back into the house too. Great, I guess I wasn't invited to dinner after all. I turned around and walked across the long stretch of grass until I reached the outskirts of the woods that were a part of the estate and started walking on one of the many pathways that were woven inside the forest.

I walked for a long time, without keeping track of direction, to clear my head. This whole day had been completely fucked up, as usual. I had once again woken up before sunrise and couldn't go back to sleep no matter how much I tried. Then Lauren had called from the office to inform me about the Japanese deal being in trouble once again and I had to go in and kick some of the idiots that work there in the ass and fixed the shit somewhat. Then Alice had whined about some special fucking kind of cranberry sauce that I had spent two hours driving all around the city to find because God help the motherfucker that didn't do what that devil said and I really didn't want to get into a fight with her today. Then I finally came home and things just went downhill from there. I mean, aren't holidays supposed to be relaxing and shit?

I had been walking for a few minutes more and felt myself becoming calmer until the sight of Sophie curled up in a ball on the floor came back to me in a flash. The guilt of having caused that crushed me and my steps faltered. I was supposed to be taking care of her and instead, I was the one causing her harm. I knew Alice was taking care of her and Sophie seemed to be alright before I had left but I couldn't tear away the image from my head. So I turned around and quickly walked back to the house to make sure she was ok.

I went straight to the kitchen, where Jasper, Alice and Dad were dishing out the food. They all looked up at me when I came in.

'Where's Sophie?' I looked around frantically and didn't see her anywhere.

'She's in her room.' I was out of the kitchen before Alice finished her sentence.

I ran up the stairs to the second floor and froze when I opened Sophie's door. On the far corner of Sophie's room was a large white tent that was fitted with twinkling lights on the inside and that she had filled up with all her favorite toys and books and blankets. It was a safe haven for Sophie and she never let anyone inside it other than me since I had built the thing for her and had had to crawl inside to fit the twinkling lights anyways.

Sophie sat inside her tent with her legs crossed in front of her while Dr. Swan sat opposite from her mirroring her position._ She was inside the tent._

They hadn't noticed me standing there and went on with their business. It seemed like Sophie was showing Dr. Swan around as she picked up her favorite doll carefully and brought it between them.

'Bella, have you two met before?' She pointed to the doll and then to Dr. Swan. Exactly _how_ long had it been since she had met Dr. Swan? How was she already so comfortable with her? And what the hell was up with that godawful shortening of her name?

Dr. Swan seemed to consider Sophie's question with a concentrated look on her face before answering her. 'No, I'm afraid we haven't. Will you introduce us?'

Sophie nodded. 'This is Tinker Bell. She is also a fairy. Like you.'

She held up the green statuette further up for Dr. Swan to see.

She leaned forward and brushed a finger against the doll's hand.

'Hi Tinker. I don't think we've met before. I'm Dr. Isabella Swan.' She sounded formal.

Sophie giggled and brought the doll close to her face. 'You can just call her Bella. Her best friend and I call her that.'

Then suddenly Sophie's face lit up. 'You are a doctor too?'

'Yes I am. Is that alright?' Dr. Swan's brows furrowed.

Sophie nodded. 'My mommy is a doctor.'

I cleared my voice before this conversation went any further and Dr. Swan jumped and a look of fear crossed her features when she saw me standing in the doorway.

'Time to eat,_ Princesse'_, I held a hand out to Sophie.

'C'mon Bella.' She crawled out of the tent and held her hand out to Dr. Swan who took it and pretended to let Sophie drag her out of the tent.

'_Tu vas bien, __chérie_?' I asked Sophie if she was ok when she was close to the door. She nodded her head still holding on to Dr. Swan's hand and smiled at me, her way of saying that my earlier behavior was forgiven.

I walked out of the room and they followed me to the dining room. I set Sophie on her chair and tucked her napkin around her neck while Dad, Alice and Jasper filed in with the food and set up the table.

The mood in the room was tense and no one said anything as everyone fussed around with setting up plates and pulling out chairs. I looked at Dad, who was eyeing me intently. I raised an eyebrow at him in question and he raised one of his in response. I rolled my eyes since I knew he wanted an apology, but he wasn't going to get one. Not in front of everyone else at least.

I threw my hands in the air in an 'I am giving up' kind of gesture. '_May_ I stay here and join you guys for dinner?'

Jasper chuckled and I glared at him.

Dad looked at me for a few seconds then turned to Alice. 'It's up to Alice since she is the one that has prepared this meal.'

'I don't care. I'm just going to pretend he's not here, like I always do.' Alice said in a chipper tone. I had the urge to throw something at her but realized that wouldn't go very well with my 'let's try to fix the rest of this evening' plan.

'Oh c'mon, just take a seat, Edward.' Jasper slapped me on the back and pulled out a chair for me, his way of saying that he had my back. Like he always did. I gave him a grateful look and sat down.

'Now I don't know about the rest of you guys but Sophie and I are starving and would like to start eating already. Right Sophie?' He winked at Sophie and she giggled and nodded.

The tension in the room decreased a little as everyone started to eat.

Everyone was quiet and the only sounds were of the cutlery scraping against the plates. Sophie was scooping her mashed potatoes into little piles and putting a pea on top of each pile, while stealing glances at Dr. Swan once in a while. Jasper was inhaling his food like a maniac, like he always did. Alice also kept glancing at Dr. Swan, who I now noticed was totally focused on her plate and wasn't looking at anyone else. Alice glanced at Dad who gave her a look and then turned towards Dr. Swan.

'So, Isabella. You are here on a clinical rotation right? How long is it for?' He said a casual tone, obviously trying to make her feel comfortable.

She looked at Dad and nodded. 'It's my cardiology rotation. I'm here for eight weeks in total.' She gave him a tight smile.

'I see. What made you choose LA?' She looked immediately at Alice and Jasper and smiled.

'I was looking to do some of my rotations at other hospitals, to expand my horizons a bit. Then I came across the one in LA and, well, unlike other cities, I actually had people I loved here.'

Dad smiled at her and Alice beamed.

'Besides, I haven't seen much of California before and have always wanted to come here to visit, so I thought I would take the opportunity to look around.'

'That sounds nice. One should always take the opportunity to see as much of the world as possible in their youth.'

Jasper, who was stuffing his mouth with a spoonful of salad, now snickered from his corner.

'Carlisle, you sound like you are a hundred years old. C'mon Pop, you aren't that old yet.'

Dad laughed loud now. 'Well I suppose I deserved that one.'

We ate in silence for a while and I watched as Sophie kept making piles with her food. I noticed that she was thinking about something very intently, with a tiny furrow in her forehead, which she often got when she was considering something that she thought was important.

'Sophie, stop playing with your food, sweetheart. You have to eat up.' Alice said. Sophie totally ignored Alice and looked straight at Dr. Swan and took a deep breath.

'Will you stay for my birthday Bella?' Oh great.

'Um…when is your birthday?' Dr. Swan looked at Alice and Dad before responding to Sophie.

Sophie held up three fingers. 'Three days'

Alice reached out and put down one of her fingers. 'It's actually only two days left now Sophie.'

Then her eyes widened. 'That's actually perfect! Oh, Isabella you have to stay. I was just going to bring you back for the party, but why not just stay until then?' Is she _kidding_ me?

Dr. Swan looked panicked. 'Um, I don't know if that's such a good idea.' I totally agreed with that.

Sophie's face fell immediately and Dr. Swan noticed. She leaned forward to her, ' Hey, I would love nothing better than to be here on your birthday. I will come back for the party, ok?' She looked at Dad unsurely.

'You are of course invited to the party Isabella. But I quite like Sophie and Alice's idea too. Stay until the party if it's alright. It will give us a chance to make up for the disaster of a day that was today.' He eyed me meaningfully and I concentrated hard on my food.

Irritation hit me again. What the hell? Now they wanted her to stay until Sophie's party. What was the matter with the people in this house? Why are they inviting a stranger to just stay like that? I tried to attack the problem at its source.

'Sophie, I'm sure Dr. Swan is busy. She will be back for the party ok?' Sophie just ignored me and looked back at Dr. Swan.

'Are you busy Bella?'

Alice chimed in before Dr. Swan could respond. 'No she's not. She has the next two days off anyways. She'll just be sitting home alone and being bored while I am busy planning the party.'

'Alice, I do have a few things to do actually…' Dr Swan tried, but was cut off.

'Please stay Bella. Please please please?' Sophie started to pull out the big guns and pleading. I looked at Dr. Swan who looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

'_Sophie, __ça suffit__,_' I told Sophie that was enough. I wanted her to stop before Dr. Swan changed her mind and decided to accept the invitation. But Sophie gave me a heartbreakingly longing look.

'_Mais _e_lle est médecin, comme maman!'_ Of course, she reacted to the fact that she was a doctor, like Annette. Let's just say Sophie and I dealt with each of our heartbreaks in opposing ways. Sophie had always liked doctors, trying to find a trace of her mother in each of them, whereas I hated everything that had traces of _mine_ in it.

'_Il n'a pas d'importance,'_ I tried to convince her that it didn't matter. She looked longingly at Dr. Swan anyways.

'Carlisle, I thought we had a house rule.' Alice whined.

'No French at the table you two,' Dad pointed at me then at Sophie with his fork.

'Why don't you people just learn some one of these days. God, how difficult is it to learn a few phrases.' My irritation with this whole thing was starting to increase.

'Not all of us are prodigies of the same caliber as the great Edward Cullen.' Alice said mockingly.

'Well, that's because we can't all be annoying little witches like Alice Hale, so we have to make do with being prodigies.' I spat back at her.

'Edward, Alice…' Dad sighed but we just ignored him like we always do.

'I wouldn't talk too much if I were you dipshit. The only reason you have time to learn foreign languages is because you have nothing better to do. Seriously, get some friends or something.' Alice countered.

'Oh why should I bother when I already have you to pick random people off the streets and bring them to my house.' I looked meaningfully at the girl sitting next to her.

'Oh my god, you are such a…' Alice's face got red.

Dr. Swan shot out her hand and put it on Alice's arm. 'Alice, please…' She said in a condescending tone, like she was talking to a bunch of kids in fifth grade who were fighting and she was tired of them.

'Stay out of this.' I snapped at her.

'Edward Cullen, you will behave with my guest at my house.' Dad's face told me he meant business.

'Otherwise, you are welcome to leave this table right now. But if you choose to have _Thanksgiving_ dinner with your family I expect you to behave.'

I looked at Sophie who was looking around anxiously. I realized that with that girl still here, it wouldn't be long until Alice and I broke into a fight again and didn't want to put Sophie through that again. So I glared one more time at the girl that was the cause of my ruined thanksgiving and stormed out of the dining room.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Later that night I heard my door click open and smiled immediately. There was only one person in this world that would enter my room without knocking.

'Edward, will you tuck me in?' Sophie stood in my doorway in a pink nighty and her favorite doll clutched under one arm.

I walked to her and took her hand in mine as I led her to her room. Once she was lying in her bed I tucked her blanket around her tightly, forming a little cocoon that made her feel safe.

'Will you be sad tonight?' She asked me.

'Why would I be sad, _chérie_?_'_ I furrowed my brows.

'_Parce que _Grandpa_ était __en colère contre to_i'. Of course, she was worried about me because Dad was mad at me.

I smiled at her. 'Don't you worry about me _mon ange_, I am ok. Are _you_ ok?'

She nodded and smiled again like she had done earlier. Her smile that said: _It's ok Edward. Even though you act like an asshole, I still love you_. I sighed and kissed her forehead.

'Why was Grandpa mad at you?' She stroked her doll's hair while she spoke.

'He wasn't mad. I was rude and behaved badly, so he was correcting me.'

'Were you rude to Grandpa?' I shook my head no.

'Aunt Alice? Uncle Jasper?' I kept shaking my head.

Her eyes widened in shock.

'You were rude to _Bella_?'

I nodded slowly.

She looked devastated. 'I said sorry to her.' I added quickly.

'Did she forgive you?' She was still anxious.

'I think so.'

'You have to make sure she forgives you Edward.' Her voice sounded panicked.

I leaned in close to her and hugged her tight. 'It's ok _Princesse_. Don't worry.'

She seemed to calm down after a while and I pulled back to see that her eyelids started drooping.

She rolled on to her side and closed her eyes completely. Then just as I thought she was falling asleep she spoke.

'Don't be mean to the fairy Edward. She won't grant you your wishes.'

**A/N: Leave me some love if you want to know how Edward deals with Dr. Swan being in the house for two whole days. Or should I say, how Dr. Swan deals with _him_? **


	5. Change is good

_**"If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies."  
**__- Unknown_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I woke up in a blue room. Light blue walls, sheer blue curtains covering the ceiling to floor windows that looked out to the ocean, dark blue rug by the dark wood bed that was covered in white sheets. Basically, I woke up in heaven. And no, I am not exaggerating. I lay there under the sheets for a few minutes and just looked around the room that looked like a dream. How on earth did people manage to make their homes look this beautiful? And how did it feel to wake up in a place like this every day? And most importantly, what kind of a person do you become if you live like this every day of your life?

I smiled as I thought about the fact that I had a fair idea of the answer to the last question. I thought about Carlisle Cullen, the owner of this house. I'll admit that I was in fact a little intimidated by him when I first came to this house yesterday. He had acted a little strange at first, but then for the rest of the day I was in awe of him. He was the maker of all this fortune, someone who had grown up and spent his life buried in incredible amounts of money. But he was not defined by that. There was endless compassion in him. You could see it everywhere; it dripped from his eyes, his body language. And the love that he held for his family was staggering. You could easily see that his love was what drove him, that everything he did had its source in his love for his family. And it was incredible because all that was regardless of all the pain that he carried around within him.

And so, it was my admiration for Carlisle Cullen that had forced me to accept his invitation to stay all the way until Sophie's birthday. After Edward left the dining room yesterday, Carlisle had pleaded with me to stay and he said that it would mean a lot to Sophie and him if I did. I had looked at him then and thought about the fact that he was one of the most influential people in the state of California, someone whose eyes held endless amounts of love for his family, and those eyes were pleading with me. And I knew at that moment that I too would never be able to say no to Carlisle Cullen.

Besides, I was originally going to stay the night here anyways, so basically I was just extending my stay by one and a half days extra. No biggie, I told myself. Then I got up and took a shower before heading downstairs.

I soon realized that I had woken up quite early as usual and I was the only person walking around the downstairs of the mansion. I didn't know what else to do with myself so I went to the back garden and walked around for a while. The view of the ocean beyond the beautifully landscaped garden was breathtaking and I closed my eyes as I felt the sunshine and the breeze hitting my skin. I stayed there for a while until I thought I heard a sound coming from the kitchen. I figured someone must have woken up so I headed back in. Once in the kitchen, I couldn't find anyone there but there was coffee brewing in the machine.

I had been sitting in the kitchen and sipping a cup of coffee for a while before Carlisle walked in. His eyes brightened as he saw me.

"Good morning, Isabella," he said with a brilliant smile and it made most of my morning grogginess melt away. Just like that.

"Good morning, Carlisle!" My voice sounded a bit high pitched than I meant it to and Carlisle gave me an amused smile. He went over to the coffee machine and poured himself a cup of coffee before joining me by the kitchen island. I thought about asking him who had made the coffee but then decided against it in order to not sound too nosy.

"You're up very early. Did you sleep well? The sound of the waves can be disturbing to some people." He frowned. I smiled at his thoughtfulness.

"I slept great, thank you. The sound of the waves was actually quite soothing. It must be one of the best things about the location of this house"

Carlisle gave me a very weird look before continuing. "That was the reason we built the house here. My wife...my _ex_-wife...she fell in love with this place and demanded I build her a house here."

"Oh," I mumbled, and looked around the room to break from his gaze.

"Um...we don't really make much of a big deal about breakfast around here, but there's cereal and milk if you would like." Carlisle walked up to a cabinet and pulled it open to reveal dozens of different kinds of cereal packets tucked away.

"Coffee is fine, thanks" I held up my cup to show him then took a sip.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"C'mon Isabella, you know you want to," Jasper wiggled his eyebrows and I once again burst out laughing at hearing his voice. He held a purple balloon out for me to take and I just took it and put a string around it.

"No! Come on!" Jasper whined again and my stomach hurt from my laughter. I held up my hands in surrender and spoke between pants.

"Please stop, please. I can't take this anymore," I held my stomach while I spoke.

It was later in the day and Jasper and I were standing in a tent of sorts on the Cullen's backyard. I say of sorts because its walls and roofs were made of white fish net, which basically just provided the illusion of a tent. Inside the tent were hundreds of white and purple balloons that Jasper and I had spent the whole morning blowing up with helium and letting each go to be trapped inside the walls of the net surrounding us.

All the balloons had floated to the roof of the netting, but the long white strings we had attached to each were flowing freely in the California breeze and reaching down to almost touch our heads. It was a beautiful sight and I couldn't have asked for a better task for Alice to put me at with Sophie's birthday party preparations.

Not that Alice had a lack of tasks for any one of us to do. She had turned into quite the party-planner since last night. Jasper and I were now referring to her behind her back as the Party-Planning Nazi, or just the Nazi, to be short and precise.

Out of all the daunting tasks, Jasper and I convinced her to let us blow up the balloons and that's what we had been doing all morning. It was great because it gave us an excuse to keep away from her while she ran around the Cullen mansion in inhuman speed preparing everything.

It was quite amusing for me since birthday parties for a five year old were a completely different thing in my world and not a single one of them comprised of 1500 helium balloons.

Which brings us back to my uncontrollable laughter situation. Jasper had been inhaling helium from the balloons and singing show tunes in that helium-induced voice. As if that wasn't enough, he was trying to convince me to join him but I was actually becoming quite concerned about my stomach muscles going into a spasm by now. Alice kept giving us angry glares from the window of the main living room, which she was currently busy decorating, likely not pleased with the fact that we were having too much fun performing our task. Also, I think she kind of figured out that we were stalling in order to get out of doing too many other things and to keep distance from her.

After a while I went into the kitchen to get a drink of water and when I came back out I halted my steps just outside the French doors. Sophie had made her way out to the balloons and Alice had followed her out. I stood there watching her and Jasper play with Sophie. She shrieked as Alice picked her up to reach the strings and pull down some balloons while Jasper kept making that ridiculous voice and making her giggle. I was so into them that I didn't even notice when Carlisle came out and stood beside me. We looked at each other and smiled, then went back to looking out at the yard and watching them play.

After a while Alice gave Sophie a lollipop and she looked confused for a second, before she took it and then ran up to us.

"_Puis-je manger ce bonbon?_" She held the lollipop out to show Carlisle.

Carlisle smiled and kissed her head. "Yes you can eat it, little one. Even though you haven't really eaten your lunch yet. I will overlook it this one time." She flashed him a smile and then one to me and ran back to Alice and continued playing.

"Wow, you speak French too?" I asked Carlisle.

"No, just a few phrases, to keep up with that one over there." He nodded his head towards Sophie.

"She speaks so beautifully. Has she always spoken French?"

"Yes. Her mother barely spoke any English. Ephraim continued to speak French to Sophie after she left. He wanted Sophie to be able to connect with her mother without any problem should she ever choose to come back."

I nodded and looked out to the yard again. Edward came out to the yard from around the house and Sophie ran to him and started pointing wildly to the balloons. She took his hand and started dragging him towards them.

"Has Edward also always spoken French to her?" I asked again and hoped Carlisle wouldn't mind all my questions.

Carlisle laughed. "No, not at all. Quite the contrary. He used to hate it when Ephraim spoke French to Sophie. He would complain about it all the time." Then his face became a little gloomy. "After Ephraim's accident he learned it in lightning speed and started to speak to her."

"He doesn't want her to lose that connection to her Dad." I thought out aloud.

Carlisle was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"He has changed immensely since Ephraim passed away. Edward used to be so angry with the world all the time. He mellowed a lot and focused a lot of his energies on Sophie after the accident."

Oh my god, is he kidding? This is _mellow_? He used to be _worse_? Is that even possible? All of a sudden, I was immensely glad I didn't have a run in with _that_ Edward Cullen.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Later that afternoon, Jasper and I went came back to the house after a trip to the mall to pick up some stuff for the party that hadn't been delivered with Alice's online orders and found a very concerned looking Alice standing in the middle of a sea of pink. Pink feathers, pink paper, pink stationary, pink rhinestones, pink candy and a lot of pink glitter.

"Oh God, it's like Malibu Barbie's funeral in here," I raised an eyebrow at her in question. She gave me a glare then went back to looking very worried about something. Jasper snorted behind me and went to her.

He walked up behind her and put his arms around her and kissed her on her head.

"You don't look so good, babe," he said in a concerned voice himself. She turned her head to glare at him. He ignored her glare and kissed her again.

"I didn't mean it like that, silly. You always _look_ gorgeous. I meant you look worried."

She let out a big sigh. "I am. I bought the bags for the party favors before I bought the favors. Then I saw that the bags were too big for the contents so I went out and bought more things to stuff them with. Now I have too many things and the bags are too small. I would like to exclude some items but can't really pick one. I mean, look at all this stuff,"- she waved her hands wildly around herself before continuing – "Just look at how pretty it all is. How can I just leave one out? Oh! I am just going to run out and buy bigger bags." She got that wild look in her eyes that I noticed she often got when she had an idea.

Then she turned those eyes at me. "Go get freshened up, Isabella. We're going to go buy more stuff."

"Alice, you are kidding me right? I _just_ came home. And Alice, you bought too many things for bags that were too big, and now those same bags are too small and you want to buy even bigger bags? Honey, I'm afraid to point this out to you but I think you've gone over to the bad side." I nodded my head as I said this.

"Isabella, stop arguing and get ready or I'll just drag you out as you are."

"I'm sure you will. But you know what, I have a better solution for you. Why don't you leave me alone with the bags for a while and I'll find a way to stuff everything in them?" I tried to look very convincing.

"There will be no 'stuffing' Isabella. The bags need to be just the right size for their contents" She huffed.

"Alice, stop being such a baby and let me show you. I can do this."

I grabbed an armful of the pink bags and made a dash for the kitchen. I had piled enough bags on my arms so that I could now barely see anything ahead of me through the cloud of pink tissue paper that was spilling out of each bag.

"Isabella! Stop messing with the bags…get back here!" I heard Alice scream and increased the speed of my steps to get away from her as soon as possible. Just as I came out to the foyer to pass into the kitchen I bumped into something very hard. I yelped and all the bags flew away from me as I stretched my arms to regain balance, but I was too late and fell straight on my ass.

"Shit!" I groaned and rolled on to my side while I rubbed my backside. That was going to leave a bruise.

I rolled back and started to get up, then froze at the sight before me. Edward was sitting on the floor in a similar position to mine, looking more furious than I had ever seen him. I had bumped into _him_. But how could that be? The thing I bumped into was so hard!

We had not seen each other much since last night and hadn't spoken at all, largely due to the fact that he had locked himself in his room most of the day, which I wasn't complaining about, for the record.

However, I got a sneaky feeling that it wasn't the whole bumping thing alone that had caused the current look of fury on his face. Edward was very dressed up. And I mean _very_ dressed up. All the times I had met him, he had been wearing suits, but those were work-suits. Now, he was wearing a pinstripe suit that was snugly fit, a very expensive looking gray tie that hung loosely from his neck and black dress shoes. His outfit probably cost more than I made in a year. And it was covered in pink glitter. From head to toe.

The contents of the bags that had flown out of my hands had spilled out everywhere on the floor and it looked like most of it had ended up on him. There was pink tissue paper sticking on him at various places, and various items of the party favors sticking here and there, but there was so much glitter on him that they were practically showering out of his eyelids every time he blinked.

I looked at him for a few seconds and took in the level of his fury. Yup, he looked furious. And I realized that I was in for another round of lashing out. So, I was just as surprised as him at my reaction to the situation.

I laughed. I laughed uncontrollably until I couldn't breathe anymore. This guy, that had hated every single thing about me, that I had tried so hard since yesterday to just avoid in order to not cause more conflict, I just had to run into him out of all the people in this house and cover him in glitter. That was just my luck and the whole thing was so ridiculous that I really couldn't have had any other reaction at that moment.

Edward's expression went from furious to even more furious until I thought he was going to explode, then when he saw that my laughter only kept increasing he looked at me like I was losing my mind or something. I didn't blame him one bit.

Alice and Jasper came out to the foyer and burst out laughing at the sight before them. Edward now turned his glare towards them.

"Very pretty, Edward" Jasper smirked and giggled along with Alice.

Edward got up off the floor and took out a phone from his pocket. He quickly dialed a number. "I'll be a little late. I have to change." He glared at me one more time as he said this then walked back upstairs.

Edward glittered during the entire duration of my stay and glitter fell out of his hair every time he ran a hand through it. That stuff was apparently sticky and didn't come off by washing right away. During the party, Sophie and her friends giggled uncontrollably at him and he threw me glares occasionally, which I just pretended to not having noticed.

The party was every bit as extraordinary and over the top as I had imagined it to be. There weren't too many guests though, just a few people the Cullens and the Hales knew and a bunch of kids. Sophie was quite reserved and shy, but smiled politely as everyone wished her happy birthday. She was showered with more gifts than most kids got in their first ten birthdays in total. I got her a music box with Tinker Bell dancing inside, which I had found during one of the trips to the mall with Jasper. I told her that she could store her wishes in the box and the fairies would pick them up right out of it…it would be like a mail-box between her and her fairies. Her eyes had sparkled with excitement when I told her that.

And so it was with a heavy mind that I had left the Cullen residence that night after the party. I had not counted on it, but I had grown increasingly attached to them. It was so different from the lonely life I lived otherwise, being showered with Sophie's affection as her fairy, going through all the bickering with Alice about the preparations, goofing around with Jasper, and having Carlisle welcome me so graciously in his home. I wished I could stay with them longer and it broke my heart to see Sophie so sad when I had left. But the clock had hit midnight and it was time to get back to reality.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I pushed with all my weight into the heavy door into Chic, the restaurant that my colleagues at the hospital had recommended to have the best steaks available in the area. I had guessed just how overpriced the joint would be as soon as I had stepped out of the cab, but then I thought, what the hell. It's my birthday after all. I'll be damned if I don't at least treat myself to something nice. Sure my wallet would take a hit but at least Mom would be happy that I did _something_ special on this day. Renee was obviously not ecstatic when I had told her about the rotation at LA since it meant that I wouldn't go to see them for both thanksgiving and my birthday, but she had come around eventually once I promised her not to ignore the day altogether. I hadn't told Alice and Jasper about my birthday because, well, I had been at Sophie's and was quite frankly terrified of what Alice would come up with to celebrate mine. Besides, they were already doing so much for me; I didn't want to add this to the list too.

My thoughts returned to my surroundings as I approached the snobbish maitre d' and asked if I could take a meal to go. I wanted to buy a special meal for myself, but had no intention of eating alone at the restaurant, so thought it better to just take it to go. He gave me a peculiarly snobbish look, obviously understanding that I didn't belong to the usual clientele of the place, and told me that he would check. He came back after a while and said it was alright. I looked through the menu and ordered a medium-rare steak to go. He asked me to take a seat at the bar while I waited for my food and I looked around the posh restaurant and observed the people there while waiting.

Once the food arrived I quickly paid a large chunk of my hard earned salary for the meal and thanked the maitre d' in a hurry to get back to my apartment and devour the deliciousness. I balanced the bag of food and my purse in one hand and used the other one to push on the heavy door and before I knew it, my food was splattered on the floor.

This just cannot be happening, I thought. I turned my head immediately in the direction of the maitre d'.

"You have to give me another one." My eyes were still wide with the surprise of having tripped while trying to push the door open with my hands full. Ok, so maybe not so much surprise, but more annoyance.

"Another one?" The maitre d' asked in his weird accent.

"Yes, a replacement for the meal." I started to get up and brush my clothes off from remnants of scattered food, while a waiter rushed off to the entrance to clean up the mess I had made.

"Madam, I can place another order for you if you wish." He said in his weird accent again.

"No, not another order. You saw that I dropped the food. I didn't even get to taste it."

"Yes madam, I did see. But I had already delivered the food to you. What you do with it afterwards is not my concern." His voice was patronizing but polite.

My eyes narrowed. I knew that he knew that I wasn't a regular kind of customer at places like this. I knew that he knew that he didn't need to make me happy to keep me coming back. He knew that I wouldn't since I couldn't afford it.

"Look, I paid for the damn food and didn't even get to smell it. I dropped it _inside_ your restaurant. Please have the decency to replace it." I was getting irritated.

"I'm sorry madam but I cannot help you unless you want to place another order."

I sighed. "Look, you and I both know that I can't afford to place another order. I'm sure if you explain to the …"

"Jean-Paul, if you don't know how to treat your customer right I don't see any business you have being here."

Both of our heads whipped towards the direction of the voice. The maitre d' gasped and walked straight towards the source of the voice. My jaw must have hit the ground in shock at seeing him stand there.

"Mr. Cullen, I apologize, I didn't see you there."

"My being here shouldn't influence how you treat customers." His voice was menacingly cold.

"No, of course not, Sir."

Edward Cullen glared at the maitre d' as a response and raised an eyebrow after a few moments. That seemed to snap his attention back to the present and the maitre d' rushed off to the kitchen.

Now he turned his glare towards me and walked quickly up to me.

"Aren't you people supposed to have a shit-load of money that you make off of sick people?"

Oh, god. Not this again.

"What does that have anything to do with anything?" I asked in an irritated voice.

"Why are you begging that miserable excuse for life for food?" He sounded just as irritated.

"I wasn't begging. I just…I did pay for the ridiculously overpriced thing and he saw that it was an accident and I dropped it. He would've replaced it if I was anyone else."

"Anyone else?" He raised an eyebrow in question.

"If I was like 'you people'." I made air-quotes.

"Who's 'us people'? " Edward asked with a frown on his brow.

"You rich people."

He opened his mouth to say something but the maitre d' returned.

"Madam, the chef is preparing your order as we speak. Is there anything else you would like?"

I was amused beyond words at the sudden flip in his attitude. I decided to test his guts.

"Yes, I would like a bottle of your finest wine to take with me. Oh and also, could you throw in some crab cakes too?"

"Yes, of course madam. Right away." He started to saunter away but I broke into a laugh and pulled on his elbow.

"I was kidding smartass. Just bring me what I rightfully deserve." I punched him lightly on his arm, but could see that he, unlike me, saw no humor in the situation. He looked towards Edward pleadingly who was looking a bit less like a mountain lion ready to attack by now. His temper at Jean-Paul's idiotic way of treating a customer seemed to have subsided somewhat as he watched me make jokes at the expense of the poor guy.

"Just bring her food and a decent bottle of wine to my table." Then he turned towards me and shrugged. "Looks like we were both going to eat by ourselves anyways. Also, we need to talk."

"Um…" I started but he just turned around and started walking towards the general direction of the far end of the room. I glanced at the door for a second, almost tempted to make a run for it. The last thing I expected this day to consist of was having to have yet another of my "lovely" conversations with Edward Cullen. _What on earth was he doing here anyway? _But the lure of my hard earned steak was too much, so I decided to suck it up and endure for a few minutes.

When I reached the table where he was sitting he had already lit up a cigarette. I stood behind the chair across from him with raised eyebrows.

"What? You want me to pull out the chair or something?" His irritation was back.

"No, that would be preposterous. But perhaps you would like to start by saying hello and explaining why the maitre d' is scared to death of you?" Just 'cause I was accepting his invitation didn't mean I had to let him have his way. Also, I realized that good manners were not his forte and decided to hammer some into the boy while I was at it.

"If you sit down and stop attracting everyone's attention then I will tell you," he said in a calm but lowered voice. Now I looked around to see that people were indeed throwing glances in our direction. My little show from before had certainly piqued a few people's interests.

I pulled out the chair and sat down. Then I folded my hands on the table and waited for Edward to speak.

"First, hello. Second, he's scared of me because I'm his boss." He said while blowing out smoke from his mouth.

"I see." I looked around the posh restaurant one more time. "You own this place?"

"Yes. Me being his boss loosely translates into me owning the place." Edward's tone was still irritated. "So isn't it your turn now?"

I turned to look at him. "My turn for what?"

"I don't remember being greeted properly either." Edward raised his eyebrows.

"Right. Hi Mr. Cullen." I guess hanging out with him was starting to rub off on my own manners.

"Hello Dr. Swan." He leaned back into his chair.

"Um..I didn't know that this is your restaurant. I wouldn't have…" I started but was interrupted.

"You wouldn't have come here if you knew I owned the place? Didn't realize I was such bad publicity for the joint." He smirked.

"Are you done?" I didn't appreciate his sarcasm.

"Yes."

The waiter came with the food then, followed closely by Jean-Paul.

"Sir, is there something else you will be needing?"

Edward glared at him again. Jean-Paul looked confused for a moment then his eyes widened and he turned towards me.

"Madam?"

"Um..no thank you. I'm good."

I dug into my steak and almost fainted at the feeling of the tender meat melting in my mouth. So worth the money. I ate like someone who hadn't eaten in years, inhaling my food as fast as possible. I felt Edward's eyes on me but couldn't care less about what he thought. I just wanted to finish my little piece of heaven and get the hell out of here before we got into a fight again.

"Why the hell are you here ordering food alone and terrorizing Jean-Paul anyways?" He asked after a few moments.

"It's my birthday," I shrugged as I said, then clapped a hand on my mouth as I realized that I had just told him that. _Shit_! Alice is going to kill me if she found out that I told _the beast _and not her.

"That's odd. Why isn't the Diablo all over you then? I thought you two were joined at the hips or something"

"The Diablo?" Then my eyes widened in realization. "You call Alice the Diablo?"

He shrugged.

"She doesn't know it's my birthday. No one knows. And I'd like to keep it that way." I gave him a stern look.

"Fair enough." He said and took a bite of his pasta.

I took another bite of my steak and decided to dive right into it. "Now talk."

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"You said we needed to talk." Realization dawned and his face was all business.

"It's about my birthday present to Sophie." He cleared his throat, like this was really difficult for him or something. I waved my fork at him to continue.

"She asked me for a _promise_, as a present. And I intend to do my best to keep it."

"…alright…" I was unsure where this was going.

"She made me promise that I would _try_ to be friends with you. Now, I can't really do that, but I can try to be civil around you at least. For some reason it means a lot to her and to the rest of my family to have you around and I just wanted to let you know that from now on I will try my best to not make it difficult for you to be at the house."

I was shocked. There's just no other way to put it. He was going to be civil? Because Sophie asked him to try to be my friend? She had lectured him about how he behaves with me? My head reeled with this new power that I had gained in this dynamic between us. Edward Cullen had reached out to me to call a truce. Apparently, my key to power in this relationship was Tinker Bell's little yellow BFF.

Edward's phone buzzed and he quickly glanced at the message he got. He typed a reply, then it buzzed again in a few seconds. He typed a reply again and it buzzed again. This continued for a while before he got all red in the face and dialed a number.

"Alice, why can't you just tell me all of it in one message?"

"Then make a fucking list before you ramble off one thing after another in a thousand messages."

"I'm at Chic."

"I'm having lunch, what do you think?"

"No I'm not!"

"Um…no, not alone."

"That's none of your fucking business."

Then I heard a loud screeching from the phone and Edward held the phone at a distance from his ear. He put it back to his ear after the screeching stopped.

"Hi Jazz. Seriously, dude, how many times have I told you to put some valium into her orange juice in the mornings? We could all do without some of that energy…yeah, yeah. I'm on my way…I'm just running a little late. I ran into Dr. Swan at Chic so we're just grabbing lunch…Yes, lunch… I'll be on my way pretty soon though….Yeah you moron, Dr. Swan from Seattle… Uh, sure…" then he looked at me. "Jasper wants to talk to you?"

I held out my hand for the phone. This was not good.

"Hi Jasper." I said in a careful tone.

"Isabella, what the hell are you doing eating with the beast!" Jasper's voice was loud.

My eyes snapped to Edward's. That was a nickname we often used about him behind his back. Hearing us calling him _that_ would definitely end our recent truce. "Um…Edward and I just ran into each other."

"Jazz, tell Edward if he forgets anything on my list then I'm going to make him pay for it so bad that he's going to…" her voice got muffled after this.

"Alice, Edward is with Isabella..." Then Jasper's voice was suddenly replaced by Alice's within a millisecond before he could finish his sentence.

"You ASSHOLE! What the HELL are you doing to her? I swear to god Edward, if you harm her in any way I will cut your balls out and feed them to the dogs on the streets and then…"

"ALICE!" She was speaking so fast that she managed to get all that out by the time I yelled her name.

"Isabella! What the fuck are you doing with _him_?" I flinched as I heard Alice use that word for the first time since I had known her.

"Look, calm down. It's no big deal. I was just picking up some food and ran into him. We are just grabbing some lunch…" She didn't let me finish my sentence.

"Are you kidding me? Have you gone crazy? Why are you eating with him? That jackass is going to eat _you_ alive." Then the screeching kept increasing and I had to imitate Edward's earlier action at holding the phone away from my ears, and then Jasper was back on the line.

"Sorry about that Isabella. She doesn't like it when I snatch the phone from her. Ouch!" I heard a smack, which I assumed was a blow to Jasper's head or some other body part.

"It's alright Jasper. Just tell her not to worry. I can handle the beast just fine…" I stopped mid-sentence and looked at Edward whose eyes now snapped to mine and he looked furious. Oh _shit_. "I'm fine. Here's Edward again." I finished and handed the phone back to him quickly.

Edward kept his eyes fixed on mine while he took the phone back and put it to his ear.

"Tell your wife maybe I wouldn't have to ruin her friend's day by having lunch with her if _she_ bothered to keep her company on her birthday."

He gave me an evil smirk and closed his phone without saying another word. "Happy Birthday, Dr. Swan."

NO! Why couldn't he just yell at me instead! Great, now Alice was going to be furious and hurt. I gave Edward my scariest glare. Oh, our truce was _so_ over. It had lasted for like what, fifteen seconds?

**A/N: Alright you guys, big news. I have a Beta now! And I think I am in love with her. Like, seriously. Like, I can feel the electricity humming between us every time I get a pm from her. I am posting this under the influence of post-coital glow after having read her comments on this chappy. So beware. The woman just blew my mind away. Rain hearts ****Jadalulu**** forever, thas all I'm gonna say. She gives me so much love that I don't even feel the need to ask you guys for it anymore. But leave some anyways if you wanna get in on some of this action ;)**


	6. Indeterminate breakfast bonds

_**Not quite birds, as they were not quite flowers, mysterious and fascinating as are all indeterminate creatures.  
**__- Elizabeth Goudge_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I took a cab straight to Alice and Jasper's place and was literally panting as I stood outside their door, waiting for them to answer it. I had run like a maniac to get here as soon as possible and was quite frankly terrified of Alice's reaction, but I was prepared to grovel until I was forgiven.

The door flew open and Alice stood there looking…not furious. Huh.

" I'm just going to assume that you had some very traumatic experience of birthdays earlier in your life and that's why you were uncomfortable sharing this day with your friends…" I opened my mouth to say something but she held up a hand and gave me a stern look. I shut up and she continued. "I won't say that it didn't hurt, Isabella. It really did. But I will be the bigger person here and put my hurt feelings aside for now." She let out a deep sigh. "If you agree to explain your behavior to me on a later occasion, I will overlook what you did today and celebrate what's left of this day. Does that work for you?" She gave me her I-am-asking-but-I'm-not-really-_asking_ look. I nodded.

Alice and Jasper were already dressed up and they took me back to my apartment so I could also wear something formal. I wore a dress, since Alice was wearing one, and high heels and did my hair. They took me to a very very fancy restaurant where they ordered oysters for appetizers and we were brought champagne. I tried to protest but they said it was their birthday gift to me so I just shut up and tried to enjoy the evening.

"I can't believe you went to lunch with Edward," Alice gave me a disapproving look while sipping her champagne. She looked extraordinarily beautiful in her blue off the shoulder dress and pearls.

"I didn't _go_ to lunch with him. We ran into each other and he wanted to talk." I rolled my eyes at her.

"What did he want to talk about?" Jasper asked.

"Oh, that Sophie had asked him to be nicer to me and that he was going to try." I said with a smirk.

Alice scoffed. "_Edward_ Cullen is going to try to be nice? This is going to be interesting. I can't wait."

"Yeah well, don't get your hopes too high. It didn't last long. I've seen lightning flashes that have lasted longer than that."

"That's what she said!" Jasper broke out in laughter at his idiotic joke and Alice slapped him on the arm. I just shook my head at his obvious attempt at trying to change the subject from Edward.

A commotion at the entrance caught my attention. Quite a few people were starting to gather there, and a few of the men sitting at different tables were getting up and making their way there. I noticed that there was someone in the middle of the crowd who was blocked from my view, but who seemed to be one that everyone was trying to shake hands with and say hello to. I looked back at Alice, whose eyes were glittering with happiness and I raised an eyebrow at her. She finally broke into a wide smile and nodded towards the crowd. I turned my head back towards the entrance.

The crowd parted a little and I caught sight of Carlisle standing in the middle of it, with a patient smile on his face. He looked regal standing in the middle of a sea of men wearing suits, each of them looking like every penny of the unlimited fortunes that were at their disposal, and even though some of them towered him in height, he towered over all of them in his person. I was quite taken aback. I had until now only seen Carlisle at his home, wearing only genuine smiles or concern or pain caused by his family. But it was the first time I was looking at Carlisle Cullen, the billionaire whose business contributed with a large chunk to the economy of California.

He made polite conversation with the men for a while, shaking hands and nodding. Then he turned to look towards our table and immediately his contained expression was replaced with the open and loving one he wore at home and his face lit up with a huge smile when his eyes locked with mine. He muttered something to the men around him and left the crowd to walk over to us.

We all stood up from our chairs as he approached us and I almost gasped out of shock when he enveloped me in a hug. "Happy Birthday Isabella!"

"Carlisle, what are you doing here?" I looked at Alice who was still giving me a devilish smile.

"I couldn't possibly miss you birthday even if I wasn't invited. Us dads have a way of crashing parties when we are kept out of the loop." He gave me a genuine smile that said he wasn't really hurt or something.

"I am so sorry Carlisle. I didn't mean for anyone to know. It's nothing personal. I just don't want all of you to have to fuss over me any more than you already have."

"Oh, nonsense. It is you who has been kind enough to give us so much of your time. Now hush and let's go on with the celebrations, alright?"

"You rat," I narrowed my eyes at Alice. Carlisle laughed at this.

"Yes, it was Alice's fault to inform me of the significance of the day. But, I am the only one to be blamed for showing up. As wonderful as it is to spend time with Alice and Jasper, I was hoping you wouldn't terribly mind having a date of your own too. As long as a beautiful girl such as yourself doesn't mind having such an old man for a date." He raised an eyebrow, with a grin at the corner of his lips.

I smiled wider than the Cheshire cat and hooked an arm through his extended elbow.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

After dinner I sat in the backseat of Carlisle's Mercedes with him as his chauffeur drove me back to my apartment, while Alice and Jasper left to go over to the Cullen mansion in their car. I opened the box on my lap and ran my fingers through the beautiful blue stethoscope that Carlisle had given to me as a birthday gift.

"You like it then?" He asked as he watched me eye the beautiful thing.

"I love it, Carlisle. It's the kind that I have dreamed of owning forever. But it really is too much."

"I'm glad you like it." He just smiled and looked away, effectively ending that conversation.

When we reached my apartment building, Carlisle's chauffeur opened my door and Carlisle got out of the car and gave me another hug. I thanked him for everything and stood on the doorsteps outside as I watched the car retreat. I caught Carlisle looking out the window at me and waved him off.

Then when the car was out of sight I went inside and up to my apartment. As soon as I went inside I realized it was only 10 o'clock and I didn't really have anything to do. I was too keyed up to go to bed and looked around myself to find something to keep me busy. I felt a tinge of sadness looking around the empty apartment when I heard a knock on the door.

Carlisle stood outside the door with a defeated smile on his face. "Isabella, I saw you standing by yourself at that doorstep and I just cannot stand to leave you alone on your birthday, my dear. Please come and stay with us tonight."

His concern for my loneliness at that moment reminded me so much of Charlie that I didn't really know what to say. So I just grabbed my overnight bag and followed him out the door and back to the Cullen mansion. I think Carlisle could feel just how touched I was by his gesture and just how close I was to breaking down because all the way home he kept telling me random stories about Jasper and Edward as children and didn't seem to mind at all that I just listened to him the whole time without participating much in the conversation.

When we arrived I went straight up to the blue room that I stayed at every time I was here and had just put down my overnight bag on the floor before I was attacked.

"Bellaaaaa!" I heard the shriek and smiled wider than ever at the source of it running towards me with all her might. This time, I bent down and picked her up before she smacked into my legs.

"Is it really your birthday today?" She asked as soon as she was in my arms. Sophie's presence took away the lump in my throat.

"Yes it is, sweetie."

"Did you have a party?" Her eyes were so excited that it made me chuckle.

"No, I didn't. You don't think I'd have a party without inviting my favorite princess, do you?" I touched her nose with my finger.

Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I am your favorite?"

"Of course you are!"

"Even more than Cinderella?"

"Much much more than Cinderella. More than _any_ other princess. "

"Why?" Her eyes were full of wonder.

"Because you are the prettiest one, silly."

"Really?" She looked so cute that I just had to hug her again.

"Really really."

"I don't have your present yet." She looked guilty.

"Oh sweetie, you don't have to give me a present. Princesses don't give presents to their fairies."

"But you gave me a present."

"That's because it's my job as your fairy."

Sophie and I went on with our conversation for a while until Carlisle pulled her away to put her to bed. I stayed up for a while playing monopoly with Alice and Jasper then finally went to bed myself. I had just fallen asleep when I heard a light knock on my door.

When I opened the door I found Edward standing outside with a very excited looking Sophie in his arms. She was clutching a small gift wrapped package in her hands.

"Your present is here, Bella!" Sophie yanked out her hand and thrust the gift towards me. I looked at it, then at her, then at Edward, who looked like he was being made to serve life sentence for a crime he hadn't committed.

I was still pissed at him for running his mouth to Jasper after lunch, so I gave him a look that made sure he knew that. He didn't really seem to care.

"She insisted on finding something when I told her it's your birthday." He shrugged.

_He_ had told her? Earlier when Sophie had bombarded me with her birthday wishes I just assumed Alice or Carlisle had told her.

I wanted to rip him apart but didn't want to complain too much about having Sophie know while she was right there since it would have hurt her feelings. For a tiny little thing, that girl was way too perceptive for her own good.

"What, I told you not to tell anyone so you had to go and tell _everyone_?"

He gave me his signature shrug. Yes I know, what I say doesn't matter to you, jackass.

"C'mon Bella, open your present!" Sophie was waving the present in my face again.

"Thank you, sweetie." I mumbled and took it from her.

"It's from me _and_ Edward," she bounced up and down in Edward's arms while I tried to pry the wrapping paper loose.

Edward shook his head slightly from side to side so Sophie wouldn't notice. Yeah, got it, not from you.

Inside was a black velvet box.

Inside the box was a white gold necklace with a round locket that opened to a tiny picture frame. Inside, there was a picture of Sophie on one side and Tinker Bell on the other side.

"Sophie picked it out." Edward said quickly.

"Edward put the pictures inside. That's why it was late. I was waiting for him to bring it back with the pictures in it."

"Yeah, because you couldn't use the copying machine to shrink down the pictures yourself." He said accusingly to Sophie.

My mood had shifted immediately as soon as I had opened the box. I fingered the locket and looked up at Sophie. She had been excited it was my birthday, had probably forced Edward to take her out shopping if she had picked it herself. Then she had forced Edward to put those pictures inside. I felt overcome with gratitude for all the love that this tiny little thing was showing me.

"Thank you Princess Sophie. I will always cherish this."

"You are welcome Bella." She seemed pleased with herself. Then she looked expectantly between me and Edward. Oh, right.

"Thank you too." I said in a tighter voice that contrasted sharply with the emotionally overcome voice I had used with Sophie earlier.

Edward shrugged again and turned to leave with Sophie in his arms.

"Wait!" Sophie almost yelled and both of us looked at her. Then she looked at me.

"Bella are you still mad at Edward?"

"Um…" I looked at Edward who was now looking at me intently.

"No she's not." He said to Sophie then looked at me again. "Tell her you're not mad at me."

My irritation with him rose again at the tone of his commanding voice. I had learned from our conversation at lunch and from this whole present thing that the only time I had any power over him was when Sophie was there and even though it was a low blow, I decided to make him suffer. Yup Edward Cullen, let's see how tough you are while holding your kryptonite in your arms.

I shrugged at Sophie in response to her question.

"You are still mad at him." She observed. I stayed quiet and Edward looked at me like he wanted to kill me but I just ignored him.

"Are you going to put a spell on Edward?"

"I don't think so." I didn't sound very convincing at all.

Her eyes widened and she looked at Edward in panic.

"Don't worry sweetie, I don't think I will turn him into a frog," I assured Sophie with a smile. Then added as I looked at Edward, "…yet."

"Edward, wish the fairy Happy Birthday." Sophie tried to come up with something to salvage the situation, and I guess she thought being wished would appease me.

"I already did." Edward said in a tight voice and gave me a look that said "Stop it!". Then he turned to Sophie.

"_Il est tard, princesse. _You should have been in bed hours ago. Let's go." He turned to leave but Sophie stopped him.

"Wait! I haven't given Bella her birthday kiss!"

I smiled and went up to her. She leaned forward from Edward's arms and kissed me on the cheek.

"Happy Birthday Bella. Please don't put a spell on him tonight. I will talk to him again and he will be nicer to you." She rambled on as she pulled back.

I smiled at her again. "Thank you sweetie. Ok, I won't."

Then she pushed Edward on the shoulder. "Your turn."

"My turn for what?"

"Give Bella her birthday kiss!"

Edward's eyes and mine snapped towards each other.

"No it's ok…" I said quickly.

"Um…she doesn't need one," Edward said at the same time.

Sophie looked between the two of us a few times then sighed as Edward carried her down the hallway.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I woke up earlier than usual the next morning. There was still no light coming through the windows, and I looked at the clock to see that it was 04.35. I groaned as I rolled out of bed, since I knew that I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep and there really wasn't any point in trying. I knew that everyone would still be asleep, so I took an extra long shower and then dressed slowly, trying to take as long as possible. I walked around the room for a while and studied a painting on the wall, looked out the window and tried to make out shapes in the darkness of the ocean, then finally got bored and made my way downstairs.

The hallway was dark but not so much that I couldn't see anything. The stairs were slightly lit with the little spotlights on top of the paintings and pictures. When I came downstairs, I saw light coming from the kitchen.

I reached the kitchen doorway and saw Edward reaching into a cabinet and pull out a new packet of coffee beans. I was quite startled to see him there this early in the morning. However, I was more startled to see him the way he looked at that moment. He was wearing a gray t-shirt and flannel pants, padding around the kitchen barefooted, the lines of his face soft, his hair in disarray. He seemed to be relaxed and completely at ease while opening the packet and pouring out the coffee beans into a jar. The air of hostility that surrounded him wasn't there, the muscles of his shoulders and arms that were usually tensed were now relaxed. There was something very homely and peaceful about him at that moment, which contrasted sharply with the image of the Edward Cullen I knew: suited up, searing, angry with the world around him.

He started looking around for something and then his eyes fell on where I was standing.

His eyes went a little wide when he saw me. The air around him shifted and his muscles tensed. The peacefulness disappeared within seconds. After a few seconds though, he just decided to not pay me any attention and kept searching around for whatever he was looking for.

After he was done setting up the coffee machine, he stood in front of it with his back to me, tapping his fingers on the counter, waiting for the coffee to be done.

I stood there for a while, wondering just how long he would go on ignoring me, and then finally decided to be the bigger person.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen."

He half turned his head and mumbled something I could hardly hear. I assumed he said good morning back.

He was finally done making the coffee and poured himself a cup and started to leave. When he was close to the doorway I spoke again. I had been feeling a little bad about how I was with him when he and Sophie gave me the present last night.

"I wanted to thank you for the necklace. That was kind of you."

He kept his eyes on the cup in his hand but he frowned. "It was from Sophie."

"I know that, but you had to help her get it. So thank you."

He shrugged and walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and thought about the previous day. I smiled as I thought about how wonderful my day had been and how nice they had been to me. I had learned to not make a big deal of my birthday to myself, so I would feel less lonely. And the people of this house had completely turned my day around. I couldn't believe Carlisle had taken time out of his schedule to come to the restaurant and I was even more surprised at just how much he had treated me like one of his own children when he refused to leave me by myself. I decided to do something nice for them in return.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Carlisle was as usual the first one to come into the kitchen. His eyes were wide as saucers as he saw the kitchen island where I had heaped up all the breakfast food I had prepared. Waffles, pancakes, toast, eggs, fresh fruit, juice, coffee. I had raided their kitchen and fridge and gone all out.

"Good morning, Isabella! I thought I smelled waffles but I assumed that was just my old age catching up with me and giving me hallucinations." He smiled widely at me.

"Good morning Carlisle. I totally invaded your kitchen, I hope you don't mind." I smiled back at him.

"My dear, going by the smell of those waffles, I am about to offer you to take the kitchen home with you." He took a plate and started serving himself food. I felt giddy enough to jump up and down at the look of excitement on his face. _Breakfast_ made him this happy? I wish I had known earlier, I would've made breakfast for him every time I stayed over.

He took a bite of his eggs and then the waffle and closed his eyes for a second before giving me a look that said he loved it. If possible my smile became even wider.

"This is truly wonderful Isabella. Thank you so much, dear." My insides melted hearing him call me "dear" again, like he did to his other children.

"Please, Carlisle. It's the least I could do. I'm glad you like it."

Alice came into the kitchen a few minutes later, wearing a robe, her hair still disheveled from bed and she looked so tired that she barely mumbled good morning and kept her eyes on the ground when she walked in. Apparently, Edward wasn't the only member of the family who had an alter ego that peeked out early in the morning.

Carlisle and I looked at each other and shared an amused smile then looked back at her.

"Alice, honey, would you like some breakfast?" I asked her.

She looked up from the floor towards me like I was speaking a foreign language, then noticed the food and yelped. She literally yelped. I started laughing at her reaction as she grabbed a plate and started devouring the food before she even put it on her plate. She moaned a couple of times but was too far gone to say anything else.

"I don't get it. If you guys like breakfast food so much, why don't you have it more often?" I wondered out loud while Alice continued her assault on the food. Carlisle had told me the first time I stayed over that they never made a big deal of breakfast and he hadn't lied. The ones out of them that even bother to eat breakfast only ate cereals.

Carlisle's smile fell a little and Alice's speed of gulping down the pancakes faltered at my question. Both of them looked at me and gave me an apologetic smile that said that they didn't want to get into it right now. I felt bad for unintentionally bringing up something that had affected their mood.

" Holy shmoly!" Jasper bellowed out from the doorway. I turned to him and saw his eyes glued to the food. By now I had become accustomed to the extraordinarily excited reaction to my breakfast bonanza and just laughed at him. Without saying another word he walked to my bar stool and wrapped me in a hug from behind. I laughed some more and patted his arm that was around my neck. Then just as he let me go he yelled out "Edwardddddddddd!" and left the kitchen.

I looked at Carlisle and Alice in confusion. Carlisle just smirked and kept eating, while Alice was still too busy with her food.

A few moments later Jasper walked back into the kitchen, dragging Edward behind him.

"See? I wasn't shitting you. She made waffles, for God's sake!"

Edward looked at the food then at me. I smiled at him to let him know that he was invited too. I mean, it was his house and his food after all. Also, I felt pretty safe with Alice, Jasper and Carlisle there to protect me in case the beast decided to come out.

Jasper had by now taken a seat at the stool next to me. Edward looked around his family sitting around the island for a few moments and I saw his eyes get a little sadder than they usually were. Carlisle looked at him and they shared a look. I saw the pain double in Carlisle eyes too. Finally, Edward broke his gaze and looked away.

"I'll go wake up Sophie."

He came back a few minutes later with Sophie wrapped around his torso. She was clutching his neck with her arms and her legs were around his stomach. Her head lay on his shoulder. He tried to put her down on her chair but she was stuck on him like a giant crab.

The poor thing tried to open her eyes for a second but was way too tired. Her sleep was definitely not complete. Finally he gave up and just sat down on a stool with Sophie still clutched on him.

"_Tu ne veux pas manger le petit déjeuner avec ta famille, __ma chérie_?" Edward rubbed her back lightly.

"Yes, I think Sophie would actually love to eat breakfast with her family this morning. Especially since her favorite fairy has made it for her," Carlisle smiled indulgently at Sophie.

Sophie peeked out her head for a moment from Edward's shoulders to glance at the food then at me. Then she laid her head back to its original position. After a few more tries of getting her to give in, Edward surrendered and started preparing a plate for himself with Sophie still in his arms. When he started to eat, he brought the food carefully to his mouth so he didn't spill anything on Sophie.

I finally took pity on the guy and decided to give it a go.

"I wish someone would eat with me." I tried to make my voice sound a bit whiny. Sophie looked at me, so I continued. "I only have a few bites of my pancakes left. Would you keep me company?"

She now sat up straight in Edward's lap and gave me a curious look. "I can eat with _you_?"

"Uh-huh." I nodded.

She released Edward's neck and spread out her arms towards me.

I gave her a bright smile and went up to pick her up. When I was almost by the stool where they were sitting, I finally noticed Edward's expression. Instead of looking grateful, he looked furious. What the hell?

By this point I was getting tired of trying to keep track of his ire so I just picked Sophie up and went back to sit on my stool. She was completely awake now and looked around to everyone with a proud expression on her face as I settled her on my lap facing the table. Carlisle and Alice gave her conspiratorial smiles while Jasper went ahead and gave her the thumbs up and a wink for having succeeded in getting to sit with the fairy.

"What would you like for breakfast, Princess?" I asked as I stroked her hair.

"Pancakes. Like you."

I smiled and heaped up some pancakes on a plate and poured maple syrup on them. Then I sliced them into small pieces so she could eat them easily. She ate up the whole plate within minutes and gulped down a glass of milk. Once she was done she looked up at me expectantly.

"Good job sweetie. You finished all your food!" I gave her a hug and kissed her cheek. She blushed profusely and looked shyly at everyone around the table.

Alice was smiling at her and Jasper smiled at me. Carlisle looked at me with so much tenderness that I almost blushed myself. Edward's jaw was set in a tight line as he chewed his breakfast and stared at his plate.

"Will you play with me today?" I turned my eyes to Sophie who looked like she had just asked me for a fortune. I smiled at her and tousled her hair.

"Of course I will, Princess. What did you have in mind?"

"Stop calling her that," Edward's growl came out of nowhere and both Sophie and I broke our gaze to look at him.

He was still looking at his plate and chewing.

"What?" I had to double-check that he had actually used the tone he did.

He looked up from his plate and gave me his signature glare. "Stop calling her Princess."

I could literally feel the mood of the morning do a flip. Every single person in the table tensed immediately and I felt Sophie go rigid in my arms.

Was this guy for real? Was he really still eating the eggs that I had made earlier and talking to me like that? After I made an attempt to be nice to him and thanked him earlier this morning?

"Alice, will you please take Sophie upstairs and get her cleaned up?" I asked while keeping my eyes on Edward.

She hesitated for a second so I shot her a look. She immediately came to me and held out her arms for Sophie. I looked at Sophie and gave her a reassuring smile then handed her to Alice.

"Edward…" Carlisle started as soon as Alice and Sophie were out of hearing range but I didn't let him go on.

"Why exactly can't I call her that?" My eyes were fixed on Edward's.

"Because it's what her family calls her." Edward growled again.

"Edward, Isabella is like a part…" Carlisle began again but Edward looked at him like he was about to explode.

"WHAT? She is a part of the family now? She makes fucking breakfast and now she's one of us?"

"Edward…" Carlisle warned.

"No! You can't just shut me up every time. The rest of you might have forgotten all the shit from before but I haven't." Then he turned towards me and pointed a finger in my direction.

"Look, I know what you're doing. You may have everyone else in this house fooled but I see through this shit. You are all lovey dovey now but it will take you a second to change your face. And know that if you hurt anyone from my family I will not just sit back and watch."

I gave him a level look for a few moments while I calmed myself down. Then I took a deep breath and stood up.

"First of all, Mr. Cullen, I want to make this very clear for all future reference. Don't ever point your finger at me."

Everyone in the room gaped at me.

"Secondly, what exactly did I do right now to get you this angry?"

"I don't owe you any explanations." Edward spat.

"No you don't. I'm just sick and tired of this," I gestured at the space between him and me. "And I want to understand what I did wrong."

"I brought Sophie down here so she could eat with _me_. You have no business taking her away like that."

"Um, I'm sorry but I thought you brought her here to eat with her _family_. And, my god, I was trying to make it easier for _you_ to eat. I didn't realize I was stepping on your toes by trying to feed her some breakfast."

Edward glared at me but I ignored it.

"Look Mr. Cullen, I _know_ you have a problem with my profession. And that's alright, I can live with that. But I refuse to believe that you are stupid enough to not see that I am a person beyond what I do for a living." I looked at him to see his reaction and he just looked shocked at my sudden outburst. I continued.

"Now, whether you like it or not, your family happens to like me. And I happen to love them. They are kind to me and it has been years since I have been met with so much affection. I hope that they will keep letting me spend time with them and right now you are the only thing in my way of enjoying this. So you and I are just going to _have_ to find a way to not want to rip each other's heads off every time we meet." I closed my eyes at the last sentence like willing it enough would just make it happen.

I waited for a few moments and Carlisle and Jasper turned their heads to Edward now, waiting for his response too. Edward just kept looking at me and his glare now transformed into a frown. I took this as a sign of progress and continued. I relaxed my posture and sat back down on the stool.

"Look, I'm not saying we have to be best friends or anything. Just stop spoiling everyone's moods every time we are having a nice time."

His shock at my little rant subsided somewhat and he gave me an incredulous look now. "You want to rip my head off?"

Jasper snickered and I threw him a glare before turning it to Edward.

"_That's_ the part you heard?" I asked with an incredulous voice.

"No, I heard all of it."

"So?"

"Fine." His voice was sharp.

"Fine? That's all you have to say?"

"Yes. Fine. I won't rip your head off if you keep your hands off of mine."

"See now, I have a hard time taking your word for it because the last time we reached an agreement like this it took you all of 30 seconds to blow it off." I said in a patronizing tone.

"What?" He spat.

"You sold me to the devil by announcing my birthday right after you promised to be civil." I reminded him as Jasper snickered again, and this time we both ignored him.

"You called me a fucking beast." Now his voice was incredulous.

Shit, that I did. I should have thought this through. I looked at Carlisle who gave me a look that said he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I didn't use the f-word," I told Carlisle then turned to Edward again.

"Can you blame me? After how you act every time you come within a one mile radius of me?"

Edward's eyes softened. He smirked and leaned back. "Fair enough."

"So we have a deal? And I have witnesses this time so you can't back out on me." I folded my hands on the table to show him I meant business.

"Just to be clear, this deal entails that I will refrain from ripping your head off every time I see you?"

"Metaphorically speaking, yes." I confirmed.

"Alrighty then!" Jasper bellowed out beside me and rose from his stool, dragging me up with him. To my utter shock, he dragged me around the kitchen island to where Edward was sitting. Then he put one arm over Edward's shoulder and one over mine and looked at Carlisle.

"With Carlisle Cullen and myself as your witnesses, I now pronounce you Isabella Swan and you Edward Cullen as non-enemies." He gave both our shoulders a squeeze and took turns in smirking at each of us.

I tried to wriggle out of his arm while Edward tried to elbow his ribs.

"Jazz, get your fucking hand off of me before I rip it away."

"Dude, you can't even free yourself from my grip. Less talking and more doing."

Then he yelped as Edward managed to hurt him with his elbow and ran out of the kitchen with Edward in tow.

I looked at Carlisle now to make sure I hadn't offended him with all this but he just looked…proud?

"That was very brave of you. And you are wrong, this family doesn't _like_ you. We love you too, dear."

**A/N: Hey guys! My beta has been having internet troubles due to the storms but she managed to beta this baby on her Blackberry (yup, that's how great she is) so here it is. Thanks Jadalulu for all the love. You rock more than a non-birthday kiss from Edward.**

**I get so happy by some of the meatier reviews that I sometimes send of teasers for future chapters to the reviewers. So now I've decided to make that a permanent thing….**

**Leave me some love and you can get a teaser for the upcoming attractions…pun intended :D **


	7. She's not a dragon, silly!

_**"I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man."**  
- Chuang Tzu _

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

_I was walking down the long white corridor of the pediatric ward and saw her standing by nurses' station. I called to her and she turned around to give me her breathtaking smile that always left me a little stunned by its beauty. She looked like a movie star that had just walked out of the makeup studio before putting on the blue scrubs and pulling her hair back in a pony tail. Every single thing about her was so polished, so refined. So unlike anyone else in the hospital, or in the town. My steps faltered a little as she waved at me. I opened my mouth to say something, but no sound would come out. I tried again but nothing came. That's when I realized that I was dreaming._

I was startled awake by a loud banging sound on the front door.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I closed my eyes and hugged her with all my strength as Sophie screamed and struggled in my arms. I didn't want to call Dr. Jackson since I knew she'd just sedate her. It was like someone ran a fucking knife through my stomach every time they injected that crap into Sophie and what was worse was the effect it had on her for days afterwards. She would be sleepy, moody, cranky and generally miserable. I felt sick at the thought of seeing her like that again.

It had to be tonight! When Dad was in New York for the Copperfield deal all week and Alice and Jasper were at their apartment. Sophie had been with the nanny all day and Mrs. Franz had told me as soon as I came home that she'd been moody all day. I had played with her for a while before putting her to bed, hoping she'd be ok after she got some rest. But right after midnight, as I sat in the dark room, developing some of her pictures that I had taken earlier in the week, I heard her shriek and immediately knew this was going to be a rough night.

Now I sat on her bed, holding her while she continued to scream and felt helpless as usual about the present as well as the days to come. Then I thought about the last time Sophie had an attack. And how she recovered almost immediately afterwards. _Fuck_! _Of_ _course_! And just like that I knew what I had to do. So I called Alice and after I got the address, I carried a wailing Sophie in my arms and tucked her into the car before driving as fast as I possibly could over to the one person that could console her without pushing drugs into her system.

It took her a while to open the door and I could see from her flannel pajamas and her messy hair that she had been asleep. She looked at us for a while in confusion as her eyes settled with the dark. Finally, her eyes went wide for a second, only one second, before she understood what was going on and all but flung herself at the wailing Sophie in my arms.

"Sophie…" She whispered as she reached out and touched Sophie's arm. She looked up at me like she was completely lost and expected me to help _her_. What the fuck, I had come here so she could help _us_!

"She can't hear you over her own voice," I urged her to speak louder. This seemed to snap her out of her trance and she stood up straighter. Then she took a hold of Sophie's arm and pulled Sophie off from me and wrapped her in her arms like a baby.

"It's me Sophie, it's me." She turned around and walked inside the apartment, leaving me standing in the doorway. I wondered for a second if she didn't invite me inside on purpose but then decided that if Sophie was going to be inside then I didn't give a damn if she had a problem with me being there.

When I passed the crammed hallway and entered the living room I saw that she was sitting on the couch with her legs folded under her and Sophie resting on her lap, her face hidden in Dr. Swan's chest. She had stopped crying altogether and was now letting out small whimpers.

"Shhh. It's ok, sweetie. I'm here now. Bella's here." Dr. Swan rocked back and forth on the couch with her hands clutched tightly around Sophie.

As always, my own level of anxiety was directly connected to Sophie's and now I felt myself relax just watching Dr. Swan rock her back and forth. It felt like I was being rocked together with Sophie and I felt all the muscles in my body start to relax. Dr. Swan seemed to have completely forgotten about me since having taken Sophie from my arms and she didn't even notice me standing in the doorway at all.

"You're ok sweetie. You're ok now." She kept talking to her as she rocked her a few more times before Sophie's whimpers died down and her breathing started to even out.

Dr. Swan let out a sigh and looked around the room for a few seconds before her eyes fell on me and they widened in surprise.

"Oh!..." She remembered having left me out in the hallway I guess.

I just stood there and looked on.

"I think she's asleep. I'm going to put her to bed." She got up and started walking to one of the rooms with Sophie before she turned around to me.

"Have a seat Mr. Cullen, I'll be right back."

I went to the couch she was sitting on before and took a deep breath and let it out as I leaned my head backward on the couch. Sophie's relief was spreading through my body and I had to keep taking deep breaths to bring my nerves back down.

I thought back to yesterday morning, when Dr. Swan had confronted me during breakfast about ending this alleged war between us. And I had at that point give in to it with no intention whatsoever of sticking to my word. I didn't care about what she had said about my family and her loving each other and me being in their way. I had thought that it was good that I was in their way because it was the only way I could protect them from her.

But right now, when I sat in Dr. Swan's living room while she once again put back to pieces the only precious thing in my godforsaken life, I realized that I was going to accept her offer. And do so very willingly. Because she was right, we didn't have to be best friends or anything. But accepting her into our lives meant that Sophie could have this source of relief. And I wasn't going to take that away from her. If anything, right now, I was fucking thankful for this girl's existence.

After I had been sitting there for a while I wondered if Dr. Swan was indeed coming back. I called out to her once but she didn't answer me. I got a little nervous since she had Sophie with her so went to the room where she had gone with Sophie.

I saw Dr. Swan lying in the middle of the bed, her body shaped like a C. She was literally lying in the middle of the bed. Her head was far away from the headboard and the pillows and her legs were curled under her. Sophie was tucked inside the concave part of the C, her head buried inside Dr. Swan's chest and the rest of her body pressed up against Dr. Swan like she was trying to crawl inside her. Dr. Swan in turn had her arm wrapped around Sophie.

I walked back to the living room and sat back down on the couch, leaning my head back again.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I opened my eyes to the muted sound of pots being moved and sizzling sounds on pans.

I immediately jumped up from the couch and realized I had fallen asleep in Dr. Swan's living room. I walked to the direction of the sound and soon found myself inside the kitchen looking at Dr. Swan with her back to me in her pajamas from last night standing in front of the stove and stirring something.

I cleared my throat and she turned around and looked at me. There was a moment of awkward silence before any of us said anything.

"Sorry I fell asleep. Sophie wouldn't let me go and I thought I'd lie down beside her for a moment. I didn't realize I fell asleep." She broke the silence first.

"It's ok. Sorry I fell asleep on your couch." I waited for a few seconds before I asked. "Is she still sleeping?"

She nodded.

"I'll go wake her up and we'll be out of your way in a minute."

She looked at the doorway hesitantly then looked back at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, I think you should let her finish her sleep. She had a rough night and will need her rest." She had a point. But I didn't want to put her through any more inconvenience than I already had. The less I owed her the better.

"But you must have things to do. Don't you have to go to work?" I asked.

"Yeah but I can take the day off." She said in a sincere tone.

As much as I would have liked to leave that moment, I also wanted Sophie to get her rest. And technically, I wouldn't owe Dr. Swan this one since she had offered by herself. So I nodded my head to her.

"Thank you Dr. Swan." I looked at her intently so she understood the level of my gratitude.

She just nodded her head and we were again quiet for some time.

Then she turned back to the stove. "Um..I remember you guys liked the eggs the other day. I don't have a waffle iron so..."

She walked over to her kitchen table and served up some eggs on a plate. Then she looked at me unsurely.

I frowned when I realized she had made us breakfast. "Oh, well you didn't have to do that."

"Yeah, well, now I did. So..." She waved to the plate and the chair in front of which it sat.

I muttered a"thanks" and sat down. She just stood there for a few seconds and smirked slightly. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"What? You a feeder or something? Don't you eat yourself?"

She shook her head and smirked again. Then she went and got herself a plate too before sitting down on the chair across from me.

We ate in silence for a few minutes and I realized just how much I had been starving. She broke the silence first.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?"

I looked at her, waiting for whatever she was going to ask.

"Is Sophie's doctor still out of town?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Then why did you bring her to me?"

"I didn't bring her to you as a doctor. Her doctor can't calm her down like you can. They always try then finally just give up and sedate her."

She looked down at the table and nodded her head slightly. Then she suddenly looked up at me.

"Thank you. I am glad I can help."

I frowned. "Why the fuck are you thanking me? I am the one that should thank you."

She quickly shook her head. "No, you don't have to thank me. Believe me, I am just really glad I can help her."

She paused for a few seconds and seemed to be thinking about something.

"Why did you bring her here though? You could have called me over. She must have been scared being moved in that condition."

"I wasn't really thinking things through at that moment." I almost rolled my eyes out of irritation. Did she think I didn't know that?

"I understand. But for next time, you can just call me and I'll come to her."

My eyes widened in surprise. "You don't mind the bother?"

She actually fucking rolled her eyes. "As difficult as it is for you to believe, I _do_ love your family."

I quickly went back to the eggs.

"But just make sure she sees her doctor afterwards." She added and I nodded in agreement.

I was done with my eggs by now and noticed that she was too. We sat there for a few more seconds before I caught her smirking at me again.

"What?" I asked with a frown.

"We haven't had a disagreement since last night. Not a single one. Maybe this truce thing is starting to work after all."

I huffed and muttered,"Well, Jasper did declare us non-enemies and shit."

Now she laughed. And I narrowed my eyes because I didn't know if she was laughing with me or at me.  
"Bella..." Sophie's voice made both of us turn our eyes towards the doorway and I was out of my chair within seconds, and scooped her up in my arms.

_"Bonjour, princesse. Tu va bien_?" She nodded her head that she was ok but kept her eyes at Dr. Swan.

I looked at Dr. Swan who gave me an expectant look. Oh come on, she was with Dr. Swan all night. And she still wanted _her_ over me?

I groaned and realized that I was jealous of Dr. Swan stealing Sophie's affections from me. And I felt like a dick for feeling that way...especially after all this. It didn't really matter who she wanted to be with as long as Sophie was happy.

"_Tu veux la fée_?" I whispered in her hear as I asked her if she wanted the fucking fairy. She nodded eagerly.

I walked over to Dr. Swan's chair and handed Sophie to her. She gave me a grateful smile then put her arms around Sophie who wrapped herself around Dr. Swan.

She rubbed Sophie's back and kissed her head once.

"And what does the little princess want for breakfast this morning?"

Sophie just shook her head from side to side.

"Nothing? Absolutely nothing?" Dr. Swan asked in a squeaky voice.

Sophie kept shaking her head.

Dr. Swan looked at me and raised her eyebrows in question.

"She usually eats cereals but she likes eggs and orange juice."

"Is that right? You like eggs? Just like me?" She spoke to Sophie again, who now nodded her head anxiously.

"Then your fairy will make the best eggs in this whole wide world for you ok?"

After that Dr. Swan handed Sophie back to me and made her eggs which she decorated with ketchup and Sophie ate all of it eagerly. When she was done and all washed up I told Dr. Swan that we needed to get going and she went into her bedroom to get Sophie's socks and sweater that she had taken off during the night.

When she came back, with Sophie following right after her, she handed me the stuff and started to say something but Sophie suddenly wrapped herself around Dr. Swan's legs from behind her. Dr. Swan reached back and pulled Sophie in front of her, squatting on the floor to be eye level with her.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

No answer. She just snuck her arms around Dr. Swan's neck and burrowed herself in her arms.

Dr. Swan looked up at me and I sighed because I knew what Sophie wanted.

"If you are taking the day off anyways, maybe you would like to come with us and keep us company today?"

I mouthed "Is that ok?" to her. She nodded and smiled. Then she pulled Sophie so she could look her in the face.

"Do you mind terribly if I spend the day with you? I don't really want to be all by myself all day." She asked Sophie.

Sophie looked back at me and put a smile on her tired face like she had won the fucking lottery. Then she shook her head at Dr. Swan.

I drove us back to the house after Dr. Swan gathered some stuff and got ready. She sat in the backseat with Sophie, who refused to let go of her, and Sophie fell asleep as soon as we hit the road. We spent the rest of the drive in silence.

Once we came to the house Dr. Swan followed Sophie to her room and they spent the day in there. I figured Sophie was in good hands and worked in my office down the hall, although I left my door open and kept an ear open for any sounds of discomfort from Sophie. All I heard were faint sounds of giggles once in a while. I called the nanny as soon as we came home and cancelled her for the day, as I always did on the days following Sophie's outbursts.

Around 1 o'clock I heard them leave the room and go downstairs. They came back up after about fifteen minutes and I heard footsteps going back into Sophie's room so turned my attention back to my computer.

"Edward, _puis-je entrer_?" I looked up to see Sophie standing in the doorway asking for permission to enter the office. She was holding a plate of sandwiches in her hands and a sly smile on her face.

"_Mais oui_ _princesse_," I said as I smiled at her. She carefully clutched the plate in her hands and walked up to my table. She placed the plate on it then looked at me.

"Your lunch." She smiled proudly at me. I liked speaking French to her as often as possible, but she felt more comfortable with English some times and I generally let her choose the language of our conversations.

"_Merci beaucoup chérie_. Did you make this for me?" I asked because I knew the answer but wanted to let her tell me she made it if she wanted to.

She shrugged her shoulders then smiled. "Bella helped too."

I nodded and got up from my chair and went around the table to squat down in front of Sophie.

"I see. Tell your helper I said thank you to her too. Are you feeling ok?"

"Mm hmm. Bella and I are going to be in the castle all day." That was what she called her tent.

"Alright. Just give me a shout if you need a handsome prince to come and rescue you." I poked her on the belly.

She giggled and the sound soothed me as it always did. "She's not a dragon, silly. You don't need to rescue me from a fairy."

**o~*~*~*~*~*~o**

Later in the afternoon their sounds died down and I heard Dr. Swan go downstairs to the living room and turn on the TV. I knew it was around Sophie's nap time and she must have been exhausted from last night, as well as all the excitement she'd had all day. She usually played on her own during the days and only sat with the nanny for long enough to eat or bathe.

I went to Sophie's room to check on her and tuck her blankets around the way she liked, but found her already cocooned up on her bed. I fucking gasped when I looked closer at her face.

She was sleeping with a slight smile on her lips.

She usually slept for long hours on the days following her outbursts but her sleep was always restless. I had to usually stay close by to make sure I could comfort her whenever she got anxious in her sleep. And her mouth was always turned down and pouted during those times.

I was wrong all this time. Sophie didn't only enjoy playing with Dr. Swan because for some reason Sophie did not get anxious around her. Dr. Swan made her happy. Really happy.

I sighed and walked back to my office. I realized it was soon going to be dinner time and figured I would provide dinner since Dr. Swan had provided lunch. So I called the restaurant and had them send a bunch of dishes over. I remembered the way Dr. Swan had devoured that steak the day we had run into each other at Chic and included one of those in the order.

After an hour or so Sophie was done with her nap and I heard her go down the hallway and then I heard muffled voices between her and Dr. Swan from downstairs. The intercom buzzed not much later and I went downstairs to let the delivery guy from the restaurant in through the main gate. I waited by the foyer for a few minutes while he drove up to the house and could now hear the sounds from the TV very clearly. After I got the food I went into the kitchen and pulled all the containers out of the bags and opened them up to display them on the counter. I also got out some forks and knives and napkins and threw them around the counter. Once I was satisfied I went to the living room.

Sophie and Dr. Swan were sitting together on one of the two seat couches, both of their body language laid back and leisurely but their gazes intently fixed on the TV. I looked at the TV and saw that they were watching Beauty and the Beast. I smirked at the choice of movie and didn't have to guess twice about who had picked that one out.

I cleared my throat and both of their heads turned in my direction. I raised an eyebrow at Dr. Swan who gave me a confused look. I looked at the TV then back at her, and then she followed my eyes. Suddenly her eyes widened in realization.

"Um, Sophie picked the movie." She said quickly.

Sophie looked at Dr. Swan then back at me, unable to understand what was going on. I smirked at both of them.

"Dinner is ready, if anyone's hungry." I turned as I said so and walked back to the kitchen.

"Meeeeee!" Sophie squealed and followed after me. When she came running into the kitchen I picked her up and turned her upside down over my shoulder which always made her squeal and giggle. I still couldn't get over the fact that she was so relaxed the day after an attack and enjoyed all the happy sounds coming from her.

I turned her 360 degrees and sat her down on her chair. I started tucking a napkin around her collar while she pretended to struggle and fight with me when I noticed Dr. Swan hadn't come in yet.

"Where's your friend?" I asked Sophie. She shrugged her shoulders and looked at the kitchen doorway.

I frowned for a second. "Sit tight, I'll be right back." I said to Sophie and walked back to the living room to find her, but she wasn't there. Then I walked to the foyer and saw her on the staircase, stepping on to the landing of the first floor.

"Where are you going?" My voice rang loudly in the empty foyer. She jumped a little in surprise then turned around.

"Upstairs." She said like I was an idiot or something.

I felt the irritation rise inside me. Why did she always have to make things so complicated. I had already ordered her the fucking food, all she had to do was eat it.

"I said dinner was ready."

She looked up the stairs to the top floor where her stuff was and then back at me.

"Do you want a written invitation Dr. Swan?" I let all the irritation seep through my voice.

She frowned. "No, I'm not trying to get you to _invite_ me, Mr. Cullen. I'm just giving you guys space. I was waiting for Sophie to wake up from her nap, I need to be heading home now."

"I understand. And I will take you home after we have eaten."

She frowned again. "I already called a cab. Why would _you_ take me home?"

I groaned. "Because I almost broke down your door in the middle of the night, then asked you to help us, then crashed on your couch, then ate breakfast at your place, then made you miss work and brought you here with us to spend the day with Sophie. It's the least I can do."

"Why can't I just take a cab?" She insisted, like she hadn't heard anything I'd just said.

"Those things are filthy. And I was the one that brought you here so I will drop you back home." I challenged.

She rolled her eyes now. "What is it with you people and cabs?"

Then she paused a few seconds as she eyed me warily. "Just when I thought I could actually pull off ending this day without a fight…"

I was confused. "We're not fighting."

"No we're not. But we will if I don't leave now."

I rolled my eyes again. "We won't fight, Dr. Swan. I _can_ behave for one evening."

She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Just come down and eat the damn food."

"Fine." She sighed and stomped down the stairs. I followed her into the kitchen.

Sophie gave us a worried look when we came into the kitchen. "Are you fighting again?"

"No!" we both said in unison. Then looked at each other and I saw Dr. Swan's eyes tighten in the corners as she tried to hold back a smile. I just smirked at her and sat down on a stool and grabbed some pasta.

She came to sit on the stool opposite from me and Sophie, and I pushed the steak at her. Her eyes widened in surprise as she saw it.

"Is all this from Chic?"

I nodded and helped Sophie cut some potatoes. Dr. Swan seemed hesitant at first but then dug into the food and we all ate in silence for a while.

"I like rainbows." Sophie nodded her head and picked up a carrot with two fingers while she informed us of this fact after a few minutes of silence.

I gave her a raised eyebrow while Dr. Swan giggled. The young and girlish sound of it caught me off guard. Wasn't she too old to be giggling like a fifth grader or something?

"Do you want to explain that a bit more _chérie_?" I asked Sophie.

She just shook her head no and continued eating. I swear that kid confused me sometimes.

The rest of dinner passed in pretty much the same way. Dr. Swan and I ate quietly, occasionally asking for the salt or ketchup, while Sophie made a few more random comments about pumpkins, ponies, and vacuum cleaners.

After dinner, I asked Sophie if she wanted to come with me to drop Dr. Swan home, and of course, she was jumping up and down with excitement. The excitement was, however, short lived since she fell asleep as soon as I strapped her into the backseat of the car.

I walked to the driver's side and jumped into the seat, waiting for Dr. Swan to get in. She seemed to be considering getting into the backseat with Sophie again, and I dared her with my thoughts to do that. I wasn't her fucking chauffeur. Yeah ok, so I _was_ kind of her fucking chauffeur right now, but she didn't need to _treat_ me like one.

She seemed to know what's good for her and got into the passenger seat upfront. None of us looked at each other as she strapped herself in and I drove us out of the driveway.

I checked a couple of times in the rearview mirror to see if Sophie was still sleeping and noticed that she still had that smile on her face as she slept.

When we were on the freeway, Dr. Swan turned her head once to check on Sophie then she looked right at me. I was just about to ask her why the hell she was staring at me when she spoke.

"I'm not sure, but I think she's cold…" She trailed off, her voice unsure.

I checked again in the rearview mirror, but I could only see Sophie's face. The night air was kind of chilly and I hadn't turned on the heat in the car, so it was very possible that she could be cold.

"There's a blanket in the backseat…" I told her as I glanced at her once then turned my eyes back on the road. Safety wasn't usually my first priority while I drove, but it always was when Sophie was in the backseat.

Dr. Swan unbuckled her seatbelt and turned all the way around, sitting with her knees on the seat, leaning forward into the backseat to reach the blanket and putting it around Sophie.

Then she turned back to her original position and buckled up again.

"Thank you." I said.

"No problem."

"For everything." I glanced at her from the corner of my eyes once.

"I told you before Mr. Cullen. No need to thank me."

And that was the last thing she said before thanking me for the ride and throwing Sophie a longing glance as she ran up the front steps of her apartment building and disappeared inside.

**A/N: So, as one of my reviewers suggested...updating as soon as humanly possible :D Thank you for all the response for the last chapter you guys! I am so blissed out, now I can't stop writing. Show me some love and I might just feel inspired enough to put the next one up within the next few days. And as always, teasers for those of you that let me know your reactions!**


	8. Motionless Bella

"_**I've watched you now a full half-hour;  
Self-poised upon that yellow flower  
And, little Butterfly! Indeed  
I know not if you sleep or feed.  
How motionless! - not frozen seas  
More motionless!"**__  
- William Wordsworth, "To a Butterfly"_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"No Alice, I don't want to take three suitcases with me for my two-day trip," I whined like I was five years old and didn't care one bit. There was a limit to these things, and despite of how much my newfound best friend liked to pretend that I was just as rich as her and insist on me "travelling in style" this was where I was putting my foot down.

"But the weather in New York is very unpredictable this time of the year. And you have your interviews scheduled during the day but you haven't planned anything exact for the evenings so you need options." She paused to take a breath then her eyes widened. She jumped into the bed and took my hands in hers. I thought her face looked a little freaky this close up to mine so I leaned back a little. She didn't seem to care. "Isabella, what if you meet a guy there?" Her voice was really excited.

I let out a snort. "Alice, if I don't meet a guy in Seattle or in LA why on earth would the dating gods all of a sudden take pity on me in New York?"

"Because New York has the largest population of single men in the world. It's statistics, Isabella!"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Is that true or are you just making it up?"

She shook her head. "That doesn't matter. It is a big city with lots of crazy people. I'm just saying, you need to be prepared in case something happens." With this she patted my head and jumped off the bed to return rummaging through my closet.

She came out of there with my yellow sweatshirt that she held between her index finger and her thumb and at a distance from her body. "Really?" That's all she said, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.

"What! It's nice!"

Alice let a sound between a gurgle and a snort.

I looked away and let out a deep breath. "Mike gave it to me."

She now looked at the sweatshirt like it was infected with the Ebola virus. "Then why do you still have it?"

"It was a gift."

"From that asstard."

"He's not an asstard."

"Mr. Hot-shot-Cardiothoracic-Surgeon told you that you weren't good enough for him and dumped you. I think he qualifies as an asstard."

"Alice…"

"Whatever Isabella. You can justify things in your mind any way you like but it's the truth."

"Ughhh…how are we talking about this again. Look, I wasn't even going to take that stupid sweatshirt with me anyways."

"You bet your ass you aren't. I'm giving this to a witchdoctor to voodoo his ass."

I decided that she wasn't going to let this go so I got up from the bed and went to the kitchen to make us some sandwiches for lunch. I was leaving early in the morning the next day and there were still some articles I wanted to read up on for the interviews, if only the Diablo would let me loose from her fashion intervention.

She joined me in the kitchen after some time.

"Your packing's done. You're welcome."

I laughed. "Thank you. Here, now eat something." I pushed the plate of sandwiches and a glass of ice tea at her.

"So are you prepared for the interviews?" She asked pointing at the articles on the table in front of me while she took a sip of her ice tea.

"Pretty much. Just reading up as much as possible. It's a very good hospital and they choose their residents very carefully."

"I'm sure you'll do fine."

"I hope so. As long as I can find my way to the freaking hospital without getting lost. The interview is just two hours after I arrive you know."

"Don't worry. You insist on riding those disease infested cabs anyways. They'll take you to the right place. And it's not that difficult to find your way around New York anyways."

"Oh? Have you been there a lot?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess you can say that. The company has a lot of business there. The boys go there all the time. Carlisle was there last week, and Edward's there now."

"Edward's in New York?" My eyebrows shot up at the coincidence.

"Yeah, he's been there all week. But don't worry, he's going to be busy in meetings all day and he'll be stuck in the office. There's no risk of an encounter with the beast on your cards."

I laughed. "Yeah, well he hasn't been that bad lately actually."

"I know! I noticed that. Did you go all voodoo on his ass or something?"

I laughed. "What is it with you and your voodoo obsession. No, I did no such thing. He just seems to have accepted my offer for truce this time. He has just been ignoring me most of the time when I've been at the mansion."

"Thank god for that."

"Amen."

And then we were quiet for a few moments, as I had expected. It was always like this between Alice and I when it came to discussing Edward. Normally, we talked about most things like a bunch of high school BFFs, sharing things coming quite easily to both of us. But we barely ever discussed Edward and when we did she just made some comments about him being a pain and I agreed and we left it at that. Alice and I both knew that there were things in Edward's past that fueled his actions and we both silently agreed that it was his own story to tell and not for us to share in our girlish way.

Alice insisted on dropping me off at LAX and waited with me until I went passed the security gates. I was actually quite excited to go to New York for the first time in my life and felt like a little kid with a new toy when I saw the New York skyline from the window of the plane. After we landed, I quickly retrieved my _one_ suitcase that I had repacked the night before, after Alice left, and that had earned a disapproving pout from her, and got in a cab to quickly get to the hotel I had booked. Once at the hotel, I changed quickly into the blazer and pencil skirt I had brought for the interview and put on my beige winter coat on top before stepping back out and getting into a cab to make my way to the hospital.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

It was later in the afternoon that day and I was standing in a deserted alley at Brooklyn.

I should have been scared. I should have been scared out of my wits. But I wasn't. As I stood there in the rain all I could feel was fury. I was angry beyond words. At myself for not having reacted faster, for being stupid enough to take a stroll around here to do some sightseeing after my interview. And I was angry beyond words at the son of a bitch that had held the gun at me and snatched my bag and strolled away with it, leaving me dumbfounded, with only one thought running on repeat in my head: "People actually do this to other people?"

I stood there for a few more minutes as the initial shock wore off. I realized that I should have tried to get out of there as soon as possible but then I thought that I didn't really have anything left for anyone to take. So unless someone wanted the clothes I was wearing I could take a few minutes to get myself together.

That was a big mistake though. Because once the shock wore off and I got myself together, I realized the gravity of the situation and then felt the panic rise in my chest. Everything that I could have thought of using at this moment to get me out of this situation and back to my hotel room was in that bag: my wallet which included all my money, ID, credit cards; my phone which I would need if I wanted to call someone; my key card to the hotel room. Even if I would walk across half the city to my hotel, without the key card and without ID they wouldn't let me in anyways. I cursed at myself for booking a room at that big hotel where they checked in hundreds of people every day and there was no way they would remember me by face.

I walked a few blocks down and looked around myself and looked at the strangers walking past me, at the strange buildings around me. I was actually quite surprised as I realized that this feeling of standing in the middle of a big city where _no one _knew me, where I was on my own no matter what happened – this feeling was not at all strange to me. I was used to feeling this way. It's just that I would normally have things like my wallet and my phone so that I could take care of myself. It had now been a couple of weeks since I moved to LA and I realized that the last few weeks were the first time in years that I hadn't felt that alone in a strange place. Because of that, I was currently more shocked than I would usually be at feeling completely alone. The Cullens and the Hales had made me feel like I was a part of a whole and not an island of my own and because of that I was a bit startled to find myself as an island again.

That's when it came to me. _Oh_! _Of_ _course_! I actually wasn't an island here either. And just like that I knew what I had to do.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"You have got to be kidding me," I groaned as I rubbed my face with my palms.

"No."

I took a deep, very deep cleansing breath so I wouldn't punch this motherfucker right in the face. Or maybe I would.

"Ben, you cannot do this to me. I have been working on getting this fucking deal to work all week. You can't tell me now that they will back out if I don't add another 500 mil."

"Edward, you know how they are at Copperfield. Those bastards are petty as hell. They are getting back at you for the mishap last year."

"Well, that asshole had it coming. I can punch him another time, perhaps in the balls this time, and knock some sense into him for groping my sister-in-law."

"Alice was standing up for herself, Edward. You didn't need to…"

"Don't tell me what I do and don't need to do. Do your job and get those fuckers to give in."

"They won't Edward. You have to." Ben told me in a decided voice.

I leaned my head at the back of my seat and looked over Ben's head at the view of the city. I tapped my fingers on the mahogany of my desk and did the calculations in my head. If I added the 500 millions we would take a blow but then if the deal went through we would make twice the amount in two years.

"Fine. But tell them I'm not happy about this." I said as I stood and made my way out of the office. This whole fucking day had been a pain in my ass and I was ready to just go home. Jenny saw me leaving and hurried up to me before I went further down the hallway.

"Mr. Cullen there's a message for you..it seemed urgent." She handed me a piece of paper while she spoke.

I took the paper and looked at the message Jenny had scribbled down:

"_I need your help. I am kind of…in trouble._" Then there was an address at Brooklyn that indicated where she was at that moment, asking me to come there. I had to blink a few times at the name at the bottom to believe I was reading right. _Isabella Swan._

What the fuck was she doing in New York? And what did she mean by "trouble"?

I looked at Jenny and couldn't believe her guts.

"How long ago did you take this message?"

"Um…about an hour ago."

I could feel fume coming out of my ears now. "Why the hell didn't you give it to me sooner! You know you're supposed to send through all calls from family no matter what I'm doing!"

Her face got blue with fear. "Mr. Cullen, I am so sorry! I didn't realize she was family."

That made my anger go down a little as I now realized what I had just said.

"Well…she's not. She ..well, hangs out with my family. More like a pet." I cringed a little at what I said.

"Um…just let her calls through the next time ok? And tell them to bring around my car. I'm on my way down."

I started walking towards the elevators but turned around once. "Did she say anything else?"

"No Mr. Cullen."

I waited impatiently in the elevator ride down and when I finally emerged from the main entrance to the building I took the keys to the car from the chauffeur and peeled down the road in the direction of Brooklyn. I didn't have the patience for anyone else's careful driving right now.

As I tried to make my way through the crazy New York streets as fast as I possibly could, I prayed to God that girl was ok. Because my family would literally have my head if she was hurt or something and I hadn't helped her even though she had asked for my help. Even if it wasn't technically my own fault, but Jenny's. They would still never let me see the end of it.

I could have called Alice and asked for Dr. Swan's number to find out what was going on, but then I would have to answer that Diablo's Spanish inquisition about why I was asking for the number. And by the time she will give me the number I'll be able to make a trip to the moon and back.

After what seemed like hours I finally came around the curve to the street that she said she'd be at and spotted her immediately sitting on the curb towards the end of the street. It was raining slightly and it was freezing. What the hell was she doing sitting out there? I scanned the spot around her to check for any source of said "trouble" but couldn't see anything special.

As the car arrived a little closer to where she was sitting I could see her more clearly through the drizzle. She was sitting with her elbows resting on her knees, her chin held up by her palms. She was looking straight ahead of herself and just looked kind of blank.

I parked the car across the street and got out as quickly as possible, jogging across the street to where she was sitting. She finally noticed me when I was a few steps away from her and her eyes widened in surprise and she shot up from her sitting position.

"You're here?" She asked in an incredulous voice.

"Are you ok?" I ignored her idiotic question and scanned her body quickly to make sure she wasn't injured or something.

"Yeah…" She looked down at herself to see what I was looking at then looked back up at me. "Oh! Yeah, no, um…I'm not hurt."

"You said you were in trouble," I looked around the street again to check for what she could have meant.

"Well, yeah…I kind of got…um, mugged," she cringed as she said the last word. My eyes shot up to my forehead and I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. She was alone at night sitting on the curb of a street sitting in the rain and she had just gotten mugged.

"Are you OK? Did they hurt you?" I tried to keep my voice calm even if I felt panic rising inside. Shit! I couldn't tell at that moment if I was more scared for myself because my family would kill me when they found out or if I was more scared for this girl's sake and just how dangerous of a situation she had just gone through.

"No, they didn't hurt me." She shook her head from side to side as she said this. Her voice seemed quite steady and she didn't seem half as scared as I felt at that moment.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. That's not the problem. It's just that…they took my purse and I had everything in it. My wallet with all my ID, bank and credit cards, even the key to the hotel. I really didn't want to bother you with my problems but I was literally out of options. I couldn't even go anywhere. So I borrowed a phone from a guy and got your office's number from the directory. I am so sorry for the trouble."

I ignored her rant and suddenly realized something. "Wait, you couldn't go anywhere? So you got mugged _here_?"

"Well, a few blocks down that way."

"Are you out of your mind? What if they came back for you?" I almost yelled.

She shrugged. "They already took everything anyways."

I couldn't believe this girl's guts. Did she have no sense of self-preservation?

I looked around the street one more time hoping the fuckers would come back now so I could teach them a lesson about mugging a defenseless girl. Dr. Swan gave out a chatter from her teeth and I realized she must have been freezing sitting out here for all those hours.

"Get in the car," I said as I pulled open the passenger side door and left it open for her to get it while I went around to my side.

Once we were both inside I cranked up the heat to the fullest and pulled out of the goddamned street.

Dr. Swan's teeth stopped chattering after a while and when we were reaching the next intersection she pointed to her right. "My hotel is that way."

"Good to know," I muttered as I drove forward. She gave me a confused look.

"It would be really nice if you could just drop me off at the hotel. I don't have any means of getting there from somewhere else in the city. And also, if you could…I don't know…testify for the fact that I am me so they let me into my room." She looked very uncomfortable while she spoke.

I looked at her. "And what exactly do you plan to do after you get into your room, Dr. Swan?"

She didn't say anything so I continued. "You told me yourself that you don't have any means of getting anywhere right now."

She rubbed her face with her hands a little. "Don't worry about it. I'll figure something out. Just drop me off and find a way to make them let me in, ok?"

I groaned now and the back of my head hit the headrest.

"Do you really think I am that low of a person? That I would leave you stranded in a hotel room that you don't even have a way of paying for if you would choose to leave it? In a strange city?" I said this more to myself than to her. I knew I had been a bit of an asshole to her, but did she really think I was _that_ bad?

She was quiet. I got my answer.

I kept my head leaning on the headrest. "What the hell are you doing here anyways?"

"I came for an interview for a residency position. I'm supposed to go back tomorrow morning."

"And your interview was late in the evening in Brooklyn?"

"No…I was doing a little sightseeing."

Yeah, I was right. The girl really didn't have any sense of self-preservation.

After a few minutes of silence she suddenly turned her whole body towards me.

"Mr. Cullen, look, I know how irritating this must be to you. I really don't want to bother you so much. This doesn't feel good at all. I really am sorry."

I waited a few seconds and then looked at her. "Are you done?" She nodded slightly.

"Thank the heavens. Now, Dr. Swan, that's the last time you have apologized to me for getting mugged and asking for help when you had no other choice, even though you have helped my family quite a few times now. Now please just be quiet and let me drive in peace."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

He pulled up in front of a tall glass covered building and the two doormen in uniforms standing by the glass doors ran out to the car immediately. One of them came over to my side and the other to Edward's and pulled open our doors simultaneously. I got out of the car and thanked the doorman before following Edward inside. The lobby had white marble floors and a grand chandelier that made the whole place sparkle. A man in a suit standing behind a reception desk came around and greeted us.

"Good evening, Mr. Cullen. Ma'am," he nodded towards Edward then me.

"Good evening Glen. Can you make sure the Vanquish gets a wash before tomorrow?" Edward kept walking without waiting for the reply and the man mumbled an affirmative before stepping back to let him pass.

We came to the elevators and Edward pulled out his cell phone while we waited.

"Get Sierra on the roof by 4 tomorrow. And make sure Mr. Cheney calls me when he gets in." He ended the conversation and put the phone back in his pocket without waiting for a reply from the other side and walked into the elevator. I followed him inside.

He pressed the button that said "P" and we started the longest elevator ride I had ever been in. When we finally came to our floor and the doors opened it was completely dark outside the doors and I took in a sharp breath at the sight before me.

The doors had opened into a short hallway that gave way to a vast living room that was almost completely dark. I could tell it was a living room because I could see silhouettes of couches. But my current respiratory failure was caused by not the apartment itself but what was beyond its windows. The wall on the opposite side of the living room from where the elevator doors opened was round, and completely made of glass from ceiling to floor. It gave way to a panoramic view of New York City lit up by its lights at night.

It was a breathtaking view. Most of the buildings were far down from us since we were in the penthouse of this building. The sky covered the top half of the view, with the twinkling buildings in the bottom, and I could see the ocean beyond the city.

"Dr. Swan?" Edward's voice pulled me out of my stunned state and I looked at him with a blank face. He was standing in the hallway with a curious expression on his face.

"Perhaps the other occupants of this building would also like to use the elevator?"

I realized then that I was still inside the elevator and quickly stepped out to join Edward in the hallway. Then he flipped a switch and the entire apartment got lit up instantly.

Edward walked further inside the hall and dropped his keys on a side table. Then he went inside the living room and took off his blazer to drop it on the back of the couch. He took out his phone again and was pointing with his finger on the screen with as he talked to me without looking up.

"There are five bedrooms, pick whichever you want other than mine. Toiletries and stuff are there in the bathrooms. Help yourself to whatever you need." He kept his eyes on his phone the entire time as he walked across the living room. I spoke before he could disappear into one of the rooms.

"Do you mind if I use your phone to cancel my cards?"

"No problem." He pointed to the cordless phone sitting on a side table before leaving me standing alone in the hall in my drenched clothes.

There were four doors in total on the right side of the room and two on the left. There was a kitchen connected to the living room. Both the kitchen and the living room were decorated in ultra-modern furniture and decorations, in shades of silver and grey and white.

I called the directory to get numbers to my bank and cancelled my cards. Then I picked one of the rooms on the left, the one that I judged to be the furthest away from the one Edward had gone inside. I fumbled on the wall for a while to find the light switch and once the lights came on I found myself in a room with a similar breathtaking view of the city, but this time through one of its walls rather than a panoramic view. It was a lavishly decorated bedroom, not unlike the other Cullen bedrooms I had seen before. There was an en suite bathroom and I decided to take a shower to get warm.

As promised, the bathroom was fully equipped with towels, bathrobes, and all sorts of toiletries. After I took a long and warm shower, I put on a bathrobe and blow-dried my hair.

I heard the sound of the elevator door at the same time as I was coming out of the bathroom. I went back out to the living room again just in time to see Edward retrieve a bag from Glen who was making his way back to the elevator.

Edward turned around and when he saw me his brows knitted together.

"Right…you don't have any clothes with you."

I shrugged. "Mine will dry overnight. I hope it's alright that I borrowed one of these."

"Yeah, sure." He said as he made his way to the kitchen. "I ordered food," he raised the bag in his hands slightly to show me.

He put the plastic bag he was holding down on the counter and pulled out a couple of Styrofoam boxes. Then he pulled out some drawers and cabinet doors to produce forks and knives and glasses

I went into the kitchen and sat on the stool that was the furthest away from where he was standing.

He looked up from the plates in his hands and gave me a curious look.

"I'm not fucking going to go all the way there to serve you food. Come and sit here. I don't bite." He pointed at the stool opposite to him.

I involuntarily chuckled at his words and my behavior then took the stool he had pointed at.

He pulled out a steak from one of the boxes and served it on a plate before pushing the plate at me. I rolled my eyes.

"You know, I eat other things than steak some times."

"You don't want it?" He challenged.

"Of course I do. I'm just saying. Steaks are expensive. You don't always have to keep buying me these. You can order some Chinese food once in a while."

"I wasn't aware I'm supposed to be buying you many more meals." He said with a frown.

"You're not." I said quickly.

"Good."

We ate in silence the rest of the time. After I was done I got up to clean my plate but Edward spoke from his stool. "Don't bother with cleaning up. The cleaning staff will take care of everything."

Then he placed his own plate in the sink on top of mine and walked back into his room.

I also went back into my room. I took some time to get ready for bed and as soon as I sat down on the edge of the ridiculously humongous sized bed I knew that I couldn't possibly go to sleep. Even though I had put on a calm face in front of Edward, I was a mess. I had felt an utter loss of control when the tall blond guy had pointed the gun at me. But it was the hours afterwards, when I sat on that curb in the rain, that were the worst. When I had first called his office I had hoped he would come to my help, but when he hadn't showed up even after two hours, I was certain Edward Cullen wouldn't come to rescue me. I thought of calling my Dad, who would get on the next plane and come here, but I still didn't have anywhere to go for the night. And at that moment, even though I knew I should have been trying to think of a way to get me out of the situation, I just sat there frozen in place and I didn't even want to think about where I was and what I would do next. I was totally numb when Edward had pulled up on the street in his car and it had taken me some time to realize he was really there. Right now, sitting in his apartment, feeling warm and safe, I felt grateful for the existence of Edward Cullen.

My list of things I owed the Cullens for was beginning to take epic proportions.

I was too keyed up to go to sleep and so went out to the living room thinking I could watch TV or something for a while to distract me. But I didn't feel like watching TV any more when I came out of my room, so I just turned off the lights of the living room, as they had been when we had first come into the apartment, and sat on the couch, facing the view. I pulled my feet up and rested my chin on my knees, while I hugged my legs with my arms.

The tears then came freely and I didn't bother to stop them. I didn't sob or anything, just let the tears flow. I knew what it was. I was coming out of my shocked state and the fear and loss of control I had felt that afternoon was finally catching up with me. I knew this because I had read about this in medical school and I had taken care of many patients going through this. So I just sat there and let it take its course.

I don't know how long I sat there like this before I heard the door open on my right and Edward's footsteps going towards the kitchen. I heard him open the fridge and then his footsteps going back towards his room again.

"Jesus Christ!" He yelled suddenly and I jumped a little bit at his loud voice but didn't move anymore.

"You scared me to death!" His voice was still very loud for the silent space.

"Sorry," I tried to make my voice sound as normal as I could after having been crying for I don't know how long.

He was quiet for a few moments and when he spoke again the volume of his voice had come down to normal.

"Are you ok?"

I snapped my eyes closed. I was getting tired of hearing that question from him. "I'm fine Mr. Cullen. Go back to sleep."

"Don't tell me what to do," he said in a stern voice and still stood where he was. After a few seconds of silence he spoke again. "You are crying."

"It's a normal reaction to the situation." I replied casually.

"The situation? Being here with me?" He sounded like he really meant that. I had to laugh.

"No. The part before that."

He still stood in his spot after a few minutes and I was getting annoyed. So I turned my head slightly to look at him. I couldn't really see him in the dark, but I spoke to his silhouette.

"Look, I was scared for my life and felt exposed. I would be worried about myself if I _wasn't_ crying and acting strangely. I'll be fine in the morning. Don't waste any more of your time because of me."

Then I turned back my head to the view and hugged my knees tighter.

He sighed lightly and walked towards the side of the couch so that his voice was now coming from my right rather than behind me.

"I owe you an apology. I should've come to get you sooner. You probably wouldn't be as scared if you didn't have to sit at that place for hours afterwards."

"I am safe tonight because of you Mr. Cullen. I cannot accept an apology. I can only offer my gratitude."

He stood at his spot for a few more minutes and I kept my eyes on the view. I didn't know why exactly he was still there but I couldn't help but realize just how much I didn't want to be alone at that moment so I just stayed quiet and kept hugging myself tight. Finally, he went to the couch that was perpendicular to the one I was sitting on and sat down. We sat quietly for a very long time.

"Sophie asked me to vacuum her tent last week." He said out of nowhere and I frowned at his random words without taking my eyes off the view or moving an inch. There was no emotion in his voice, he was just relaying facts to me.

"We took all the stuff out of it then I started to run the vacuum cleaner, but the fucking floor of the tent is made up of cloth so it got sucked right in and the whole thing came crushing down on me. I looked to see if Sophie was upset but she was laughing her ass off because the pole that held it up banged me on the head."

I smiled slightly at the image. I could totally see that little bumble bee giggling away at a helpless Edward on the floor under the attack of her tent.

"She has a thing for vacuum cleaners." I stated, while studiously taking in the lights twinkling in the distance.

"Yeah. That kid has some strange interests." Edward added with a fond voice.

"She has a very creative mind." I added.

"Yeah, like turning mere mortals into fantasy creatures." I could hear the teasing in his voice.

I smiled at his reference to Sophie thinking of me as a fairy. Then I realized something. "She must have been miserable without you all week."

He was quiet and didn't say anything for a long time. I figured I had stepped on restricted territory so just stayed silent. He suddenly spoke again after a long time.

"She doesn't like it. I try to not go away too much."

I nodded my head slightly although I'm sure he couldn't really see.

We sat in silence for a long time after that and finally I turned my head to look at his face for the first time since he had come out to the living room. I could actually see his features lit by the dim glow of the lights from outside and he was looking straight ahead of him with a faraway look in his eyes. It was strange to see Edward Cullen like this again, in his t-shirt and flannel pants, hair disheveled from bed, the perpetual pain and sadness in his eyes, but no anger. He suddenly realized I was looking at him and turned his eyes towards me. I held his gaze for a moment before I spoke.

"Thank you." I don't know if he knew but I wasn't thanking him for having rescued me earlier. That was something that he would probably feel compelled to do anyways. But this, sitting with me while I was upset and talking about Sophie to take my mind off things, that was more than I would ever expect from Edward Cullen.

Then I got up and walked back to my bedroom and fell asleep as soon as I lied down on the bed.

**A/N: Man oh man, is that bastard hot and cold or what! Anywhooooo…. since you guys were so nice to me in the previous chapter with leaving comments, I decided to sneak this one by my beta in order to update fast (let me know if you catch errors). I'm halfway through the next chapter too, so leave me love and I might update again pretty soon :D :D ENjoY!**


	9. Giddy Bella

_I've watched you now a full half-hour;  
Self-poised upon that yellow flower  
And, little Butterfly! Indeed  
I know not if you sleep or feed.  
How motionless! - not frozen seas  
More motionless! __**and then  
What joy awaits you, when the breeze  
Hath found you out among the trees,  
And calls you forth again!**_  
_-William Wordsworth, "To a Butterfly"_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I felt disoriented for a while when I woke up the next morning. I looked around myself for a few seconds and tried to remember where I was and how I had ended up there before all the events from the previous day came rushing back to me. I looked around for a clock in the room and found one on the bedside table that said it was just after 8.30 a.m.

I got up and went into the bathroom to wash up. I didn't bother to shower, just brushed my teeth, scrubbed my face, pulled my hair back in a ponytail and put on the clothes from last night that had dried somewhat overnight. Then I went out to the living space to talk to Edward about how I would get back home without my passport.

I found him sitting on the couch with his back to me, talking on the phone. He didn't realize I had come into the room and kept talking.

"Yes there's breakfast food here…." _Pause. "_….I already took care of that…" _Pause. "_…Yes she slept fine…" _Pause. "_…No I have told you a million times, she wasn't hurt…" There was silence for a while before Edward groaned loudly.

"Oh, for crying out loud, what do you people take me for? I _am_ human you know. Even _I_ don't kick a dog when it's down. I'm here instead of at the office, aren't I? Doesn't that count for something?"

I cleared my throat to let him know I was there. He turned around and gave me a quick look before going back to his phone.

"Yeah, I fucking _promise _I'll make her call you as soon as she's up…Bye Alice…" _Pause. "_…BYE ALICE!"

Then he got up from the couch and faced me. "Call her after you've got some food in you. The Diablo is on extra high energy mode today."

He walked into the kitchen a pulled out a plate of scrambled eggs from the oven and placed it on the counter. My eyes went wide when I realized he had made that for me. I looked between him and the plate a couple of times. He frowned at the expression on my face.

"What? I made some for myself anyways, just made a little extra." He shrugged his shoulder and proceeded to leave the kitchen. I noticed he was still wearing his clothes from last night.

Our paths crossed as he came out of the kitchen and walked towards the couch and I walked into the kitchen. I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down on the counter to eat the eggs. I noticed now that Edward had a laptop and a bunch of papers all spread out on the coffee table in the living room. He checked something in the laptop then pulled out his phone immediately.

"The third clause is still not right. Tell them to include the changes I made or I won't sign." He started threatening the person on the other end without saying hi or anything. He hung up the phone after a few minutes then again noticed something in the laptop and made another call to bark some more. This continued pretty much the entire duration of my breakfast and I was quite amused to be honest.

He was still on his phone when the elevator door opened with a pling. He got up from the couch and went into the hallway. Through the window in the wall between the hallway and the kitchen I saw a brown haired woman in her thirties dressed in very official attire come out of the elevator. Edward held his phone between his ear and his shoulder while she handed him a large bag and a small package.

"Thanks Jenny." He said once and then turned around as she made her way back to the elevator.

He was still talking on his phone as he came over to the kitchen and placed the large bag on the counter. He took the phone away from his ear for a second and looked at me.

"Clothes," he said before turning back and going back to barking orders on the phone.

I got up and looked inside the bag to see it filled with various items of clothing. I sat back down on my stool and waited for him to finish talking on the phone. He opened the other package in his hands and pulled out a few things and checked them before coming over to the counter again. This time he placed a cell phone, an American Express credit card that said "Cullen Corporation" and papers from the bank accompanying the credit card in front of me. Once again, he removed the phone from his ear for a few seconds as he spoke.

"Use these until you have yours."

I sat for fifteen minutes more waiting for him to be done then finally when he hung up the phone I went to the living space and sat on a couch across for him. He looked up from the laptop for a second.

"Thank you for everything, Mr. Cullen. But I don't need any of those things, I just need to get home somehow."

"You can come with me when I go back this afternoon. And in the mean time, you do need those things. You need a change of clothes, and since we will be travelling together I need to be able to contact you and hence the phone." I saw his point.

"I can keep those things for now I guess. But I am not taking money from you." I said the last part in a stern voice.

He rolled his eyes. "It's not even my fucking money, it's a company credit card. Pretend that it's a gift from my Dad." He frowned at the laptop again and typed something quickly. I decided to stop bugging him and just not use the card and give it back to him at the end of the day.

"You don't have to babysit me, you know. It looks like you are very busy, go to work." I told him.

"It's fine." He was now typing at top speed.

"Really, Mr. Cullen…you can…" Suddenly he shut his laptop closed and gave me a glare.

"Dr. Swan, you are concerned about me getting work done?"

I nodded.

"Then stop bugging me. Here, entertain yourself." He picked up a device from the couch and tossed it towards me. I caught it before it hit my head and gave him a frown before trying to work the damn thing. It looked like nothing I had seen before. There were no buttons anywhere and I turned the thing around in my hand to look for them.

"It's a remote. Controls all the electronic devices in the apartment. Turn on the TV." He said as he typed away.

I was still trying to decide which way was up and which was down.

After a few minutes he groaned and came up to me. He snatched the thing from my hands and pushed on the screen a few times before the flat screen TV on the wall came to life and he went back to his laptop.

The TV couldn't hold my attention though. I was still feeling anxious and wanted to have something to do.

"Can I make you some lunch?" I suddenly said and he kept his eyes on the laptop but frowned.

"No, I can order food. You can tell me what you want to eat."

"No, don't order. Let me cook. I'd like to have something to do." I said honestly.

Now he looked up.

"Well, when you put it that way, there's nothing I would like better than for you to have something else to do right now. Knock yourself out, the kitchen is stocked."

"Great! What do you want to eat?"

He groaned and kept typing away.

"Mr. Cullen, please stop ignoring me for one second and tell me what you like to eat, because I really have absolutely no clue." He apparently decided that ignoring me was the best way to get me to shut up and just kept typing.

I rolled my eyes and got up to walk across the room to where the cordless phone sat on the side table. Then I walked back to the couch and sat facing Edward again as I dialed Jasper's number.

"How is she?" He asked breathlessly without even saying "Hi". It's like it was a disease in the family or something.

"Um, hi Jasper. This is Isabella."

"Isabella! Are you ok? Sorry, I thought it was Edward." He said in a very loud voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It was awful but I'm fine now. Don't worry. I'll tell you about it when I get back ok?"

"Ok. You're coming back with Edward tonight right? Alice and I will get you from the airport."

"That would be great, thanks. Where's Alice?"

"She's in the shower. She will probably call you as soon as she comes out. She was waiting for you to wake up."

"That sounds great. Listen, I kind of called to ask you about something else."

"Yeah sure."

I kept my eyes on Edward's face as I asked my question. "What's Mr. Cullen's favorite food?"

Edward's eyes flew up to mine and he had the most incredulous look on his face. Judging from the silence at the other end of the phone I presumed Jasper's expression matched his.

"Um…why do you want to know?" Jasper asked after a few moments.

"Because I was offering to make something he likes and he won't tell me."

"Ok….um….he likes Italian…spaghetti, lasagna, stuff like that."

"Uh-huh. I see. Well, thanks Jasper, that's all I needed to know." I kept my eyes fixed on Edward's whose attention was now definitely diverted from his laptop and I gave him a smirk in victory.

"Isabella? Should I be worried? You're not going to poison his food or something, are you?"

I laughed at Jasper's words. "Hey, you're the one that declared us non-enemies right? I promise I will do no such thing. Thanks Jasper, I'll see you when I get home. Bye!"

I lowered the phone from my ear and turned it off, all the while not breaking Edward's incredulous gaze.

"What the fuck did you do that for?" He asked in his usual "polite" way.

"I'm stubborn." I shrugged my shoulders as I got up from the couch and placed the phone back in its holders before making my way into the kitchen to dazzle Edward Cullen with my lasagna making skills.

I ignored Edward's suspicious glances thrown at me once in a while in between his battle with his laptop as I made my way around the kitchen and gathered all the stuff I needed for lasagna. As Edward had promised, the kitchen was stocked with everything I needed. It felt a little strange, making lasagna in my expensive blouse and pencil skirt, even though they were all wrinkled up from having been wet last night. But then what part of this whole situation _wasn't_ weird? I was in Edward Cullen's kitchen making his favorite food, for crying out loud.

After popping the lasagna tray into the oven I proceeded to make salad and bread. As weird as the situation was, making the food put me at ease and relaxed me tremendously, as my hands kept busy and my brain focused on chopping the veggies and kneading the dough. When I could smell the lasagna being cooked in the oven I opened the door once to check that it wasn't getting burned or something. The Cullens had a liking for ultramodern appliances that were not really compatible with how my normal brain functioned.

Just as I had taken out the lasagna and set it out to cool a little, I heard Edward's footsteps in the living room. I set up the counter where we had dinner last night with plates and cutlery and glasses and went into the living room to find that Edward had retreated to his room.

I sighed as I contemplated whether I should knock on his door. Did he not want to eat? I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't. At this point, nothing Edward Cullen did surprised me anymore. He had a knack for throwing his unpredictable behavior at me at every step. I decided to give it a few minutes and sat on the couch enjoying the view while I waited for him to reemerge so we could eat. After about fifteen minutes his door opened and Edward came back out.

He was wearing a crisp white shirt and black slacks, but his feet were bare. His hair was still wet from the shower he had just apparently taken and it was quite messy to be honest. His body was apparently very warm since every time his feet left the dark marble floor it was leaving a steaming imprint. He was fixing the buttons on one of his cuffs and then the other as he emerged from his room.

I quirked an eyebrow at his appearance. He gave me a mildly annoyed look.

"What?" He asked.

"You're going out?" My voice sounded very clearly irritated. He couldn't have told me that _before_ I spent all that time making lunch?

"No, Dr. Swan I'm not going out. I got dressed because you made lunch. The least I can do is look decent for the meal you are providing." He finished his cuffs as he spoke.

"Oh." Like I said, not at all surprised that he decided to be so proper all of a sudden. Wouldn't be surprised if he had taken the food and sat on the floor in his pajamas and eaten it either.

"Well, technically it's still you providing the meal since I used all your stuff." I said as I got up from the couch.

He huffed a little as he followed me into the kitchen. "You cooked so it's you that's providing. I don't have the energy to argue with you with an empty stomach."

"No problem. We can resume the argument after lunch." I returned as I started to dish out lasagna into each plate.

We ate in silence for a while and I noticed that Edward was basically gulping down all his food. I guess he _was_ very hungry.

He was done with all his food before I even finished half of mine.

"May I have some more?" He asked as he cleaned off the last bit of lasagna off his plate. I have to admit it felt a little nice to watch him enjoy the food so much.

"Of course. It's all for you anyways." I said with a shrug.

He heaped a huge serving of lasagna on his plate and plopped back down on his stool across from me.

He ate for a few minutes before he cleared his throat.

"This is very good."

I shrugged a shoulder as I took a bite. "It's no sirloin steak."

He chuckled. "No it's not. It's much better than sirloin fucking steak."

I smiled. "Thank you. I'm glad you like it."

Then we ate in silence for a few minutes and this time I broke the silence.

"So, how exactly am I going to go back to LA without a passport?"

"I have a jet. You don't need a passport." He said with a shrug as he ate his garlic bread.

"Oh. Of course you do." Sorry, stupid question. Of course they have private airplanes.

After I had cleared out my plate I put down the fork and knife and Edward followed soon after. Then he gave me a curious look and I looked at him in question.

"Thank you for lunch." He said sincerely.

"No problem, Mr. Cullen. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

He still sat on his stool without any indication of getting up and I waited for him to continue.

"You're ok after yesterday?" He asked finally.

I smiled at him reassuringly. "Yes I'm fine Mr. Cullen. Thanks for asking. I just want to get home."

Afterwards I started to clean up but Edward told me again that the cleaning stuff would take care of everything. I smiled a little to myself as I noticed that Edward had finished off most of the large sized lasagna I had made.

His phone rang after a few minutes and I heard him get angry at the person on the other end. After a while, I went back into the living room and found him closing up his computer and pick up his papers in hurry.

"I need to go to the office for a while. We will leave for the airport at four. Be ready then, I will be back to pick you up."

"Ok." I said at first then as I saw him come out of his room all dressed to leave I thought of something else.

"Um, Mr. Cullen? Do you mind if I come with you?" He gave me a curious look but at least he didn't look angry so I continued. "I don't really want to stay here by myself all day. Also this is the first time I have come to New York and I don't know when or if I will ever come back. I promise I won't bug you. I'll just look at the city from your car window."

"I can arrange for a car to take you and you can go sightseeing." He said.

"I don't really feel comfortable going sightseeing on my own right now." I told him. He thought about it for a few moments then nodded.

"Ok. Go get changed. I'll wait for you. Be quick."

I gave him the absolute biggest smile I could muster as I grabbed the bag of clothes he had given me earlier and ran into my room. I was done within ten minutes and Edward's eyes widened as I came out.

"That was fast!" He said and I chuckled as we walked towards the elevator.

"You told me to be fast." I told him and Edward pressed the button to the bottom floor as he spoke.

"Yeah well I am used to Alice and to her fast means at least 45 minutes." I couldn't argue with that. I had experienced Alice's "getting ready" regimen first hand.

We took a limo this time and I could see that it was a wise choice since Edward was totally engrossed in his papers and his phone the whole time. He resumed his barking over his phone and I sat on the seat across from him with my face almost pressed up against the window glass as I tried to take in as much of the city as possible.

He spent about an hour in the office and during that time I looked around the huge and posh office spaces of Cullen Corporation. Once he was done, his secretary, who I now knew to be the woman who had come to the apartment with my clothes, came and got me.

We were once again seated in the limo with my nose literally pressed to the window at times. Edward for one looked much more relaxed now and he had no more of the papers with him and neither was he barking into the phone anymore. I guess his job was done.

After another few minutes of watching the streets and trying to recognize some of the famous landmarks I turned to look at him and saw that he was looking at me with an amused expression on his face.

"What?" I asked

He didn't answer me but spoke to the chauffeur instead.

"Take a right and stop down the street."

Once we reached the place Edward got out of the limo without saying a word. I sat there and kept looking out the window, figuring he probably had some work to do there. I jumped a little when Edward came around the long limo to my side and pulled open my door.

"C'mon." He gestured for me to get out and I did as he asked.

"What's going on?" I asked him.

"You obviously want to see more of the city. We don't have time for too many things but this is on our way anyways." He gestured towards the park behind him and I raised an eyebrow.

He put his hands in his pockets and turned around and started walking towards the park. "C'mon Dr. Swan. Let's show you around Central Park."

I stood there shocked in place for a few seconds. I felt a little embarrassed that he had noticed how eager I was to see the city. Well, I guess I wasn't really being very discreet with the enthusiasm in my face anyways.

"Dr. Swan. Come on. We don't have all day." He called just before he went into the park and I quickly ran up to walk by his side.

There was still a very light drizzle that had continued from the rain last night but Edward didn't seem to mind and neither did I. We walked side by side without saying much as we explored the park. We must have looked strange to all the families and joggers in the park, Edward in his black wool overcoat, grey scarf and black leather gloves, me in my beige coat and the expensive blouse and trousers Edward's secretary had brought me this morning. We were both more formally dressed than most people in the park, and our body language and stance mirrored our clothing perfectly. Both of us walking side by side in silence, with our hands stuffed into our coat pockets, as we occasionally stepped aside to make way for a jogger.

We came to one of the beautiful small bridges and were just making or way to cross it when I gasped a little at the sight before me. The rain suddenly turned to white fluff. Soon afterwards the snowflakes started to clump together and huge flakes almost the size of my palm started to fall out of the sky. I contained myself for a few minutes but finally my giddiness took over and I giggled as I held out both my palms to catch the flakes.

Edward gave me an amused look and I just smiled at him. "I love snow. And I should warn you now, I tend to go a little crazy with the first snow of the year."

After that, Edward held his tongue and just watched in silence as I kept smiling and giggling and chuckling while I caught as many snowflakes as possible in my palms and watched them melt. When we passed under a tree with particularly low branches I gave them a little tug to make a big bunch of flakes shower down on us.

We kept walking through different parts of the park and when we came to a pathway by the water Edward kept giving me strange looks.

"What is it now Mr. Cullen?" I tried to sound irritated but I couldn't really. I was too giddy.

"Well, I don't mean to ruin your mood or anything but I was just wondering…considering what happened yesterday, you seem to be quite comfortable even in the deserted parts of the park. I would expect you to be a bit more jittery or something."

I looked around myself and noticed that he was right. We were at a deserted part of the park. I couldn't see a single person anywhere around from where we were standing. I shrugged my shoulder as I tugged on the branches of a bush to make the snow fall out of its leaves. "You're right. I would normally be a little nervous I guess. But you're here…so."

We kept walking for a little while longer until I almost let out the squeal that came to my throat. Edward saw my wide eyes and turned to see what I was looking at.

"You like ice-skating?" His voice was incredulous.

"My dad used to take me to an indoors ring when I was young."

"Are you any good?"

I smirked as I answered. "I am GREAT."

He smirked and looked between me and the huge ice-skating ring in front of us. There were people of all ages on the ring and it was huge.

He looked at his watch once before speaking again. "You can go for a while if you want. We have a little time."

I flashed him the biggest smile I could muster up and we walked to the ring. I let him pay for my blades and noticed he didn't get any for himself.

"You don't wanna skate?" I asked as I put on my blades.

"Um, no. I'm good. You go ahead." He gestured towards the ring as he leaned down with his elbows on the railing on the side of the ring.

"Alright Mr. Cullen. Watch and learn." I popped my chin a little and ventured out into the ice.

It was an amazing feeling, skating with a big group of people in this huge ring with the snow falling all around us. I looked at Edward and he was still standing with his elbows resting on the railing and he was watching me as I kept making circles around the ice. After a while he gave me a challenging look. Oh you think this is too easy do you? I then started doing all kinds of tricks that I had learned while skating with Charlie as a kid. He raised his eyebrows in appreciation at times, while he just gave me a mocking smirk at others.

He was giving me a particularly nasty smirk when I decided to make him shut up and do a backward whirl. The only mistake I made was of not looking behind me at the large man in a green parka who was skating awfully close to me. I banged right into him as I whirled backwards and sent both of us crashing down on the ice on our butts. I immediately looked at Edward as I sat up on and leaned back on my palms. He looked at me in shock for a few seconds then out of nowhere burst out in laughter.

At first I felt anger heating my face and ears at his rudeness. But as I sat there, looking at Edward without moving an inch from my embarrassing position, I felt my anger melt away pretty quickly. For the first time since I had met him, Edward Cullen was laughing earnestly. His laughter was heartfelt, his eyes were squinted and they made little lines appear on the corners. He was banging the railing with his fist and his head would drop from the force of his laughter. At that moment, he looked less like the angry fire breathing dragon I had learned to know until now and more like a seventeen year old boy having fun at the expense of some girl who just fell on her ass.

Edward Cullen's features were "attractive" by traditional standards. Almost every aspect of his face, his eyes, his brows, his nose and his lips were perfectly proportioned and symmetrical. His hair was perfect, as were his broad shoulders and his slim but well built torso. But none of these things about him ever struck me as beautiful, since he couldn't really help any of that: he had amazing genes. To me, beauty is something that is earned rather than inherited. But at that moment, Edward Cullen's laughter lit up his face and his entire being. Edward Cullen's laughter made him beautiful at that moment.

I couldn't help myself and started laughing along with him. His laughter subsided somewhat after a while and he came out to the ring and stood right above me and held out his hand to me. Just when I took it he raised an eyebrow at me in warning.

"Don't drag me down with you."

I smiled and took his hand as I shook my head.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

When we came back to the apartment it was around 3.30. Edward retreated into his room to prepare for leaving after he told me that we would leave in half an hour. I didn't really have much to pack or anything so I just washed up and brushed my hair and then went back to sit on the couch as I waited for him. The snow had stopped completely and what little had gathered on the rooftops was melting away.

When Edward emerged from his room this time he had changed out of his earlier work clothes and I tried to hold in my smile as I noticed how much he reminded me of my earlier reference to a teenager. He was now wearing dark jeans, a brown sweater and a black leather jacket. He put down a briefcase on the coffee table at the same time as Glen came out of the elevator in the hallway.

"Mr. Cullen. Ma'am." Glen said as he picked up the briefcase Edward had put down and Edward gestured for me to come along. We all made our way into the elevator and Glen pushed in a key into a hole and then pressed a button. The elevator moved upwards instead of down and before I could ask about it the door opened to reveal the rooftop of the building.

There were violent winds blowing into the elevator and my hair and clothes started flying like crazy.

"Oh my god," I said aloud, but my voice couldn't be heard at all over the sound of the engine and the blades of the sleek black helicopter that was perched on an "X" on the roof just a few meters ahead of us. I realized that the apartment must be soundproof since I hadn't heard the helicopter until now.

Edward and Glen walked out to the roof and I followed them. Glen ran up to the machine and placed Edward's briefcase inside before running back to the elevator after bidding us goodbye. The pilot of the helicopter, a heavy built man with dark skin, finished fiddling around inside the cockpit and came out of the helicopter. He then ran up to where Edward and I were standing.

"She's all ready for you Mr. Cullen. Have a good trip."

Edward nodded at him then turned towards me to see the look of pure fear that had now taken over my face.

"_You_ are flying that thing?" I shouted over the sound of the machine.

"You have a problem with that?" He shouted back.

"Well yes! Why can't we go to the airport in a car?" I shouted back.

"Because I don't feel like sitting stuck in traffic for two hours." He shouted again. I took a few moments to watch the giant black thing and tried to take deep breaths.

I finally leaned towards his ear so he could hear me clearly as I asked with all honesty. "Are you any good?"

His face now broke into a wide smirk as he shook his head.

"I am GREAT." Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the death trap while I prayed with all my heart to make it out of that thing alive.

**A/N: Hotdamn the bastard is flying a chopper in a black leather jacket. Gah! If I didn't know him better I'd say he was trying to get into the lady's pants by showing off. :D :D**

**Anywhooo...another speedy update already, you ask? Well, you kids have only yourselves to blame for all the feedback you gave me. Can't stop writing when I hear your thoughts. My beta is still having internet troubles so let me know if you find errors. Special shout-out to YankeeDiva, whose inspiration can be found at a specific part of this chapter ;) ENjoY!**


	10. Sunshine, freedom and a little flower

_**"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly, "one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."**__  
- Hans Christian Anderson_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

'I'm on to you Cullen!" Jasper narrowed his eyes at Sophie who looked up at me and giggled.

'Just play your move Hale." I winked at Sophie and as I spoke to Jasper.

It was the weekend after I came back from New York and I was spending it at the Cullen mansion at Carlisle's request…not that I needed to be persuaded much. We were all playing monopoly together, sitting on the floor of the living room around a low table. Sophie was on my lap, giggling away and maneuvering the moves on my part. Carlisle gave the two of us content smiles once in a while.

"So besides the horrible end of the trip, how were your interviews, Isabella?" Carlisle asked as he arranged his money on the side of the board.

"They were alright, I guess. They said they have had many applicants and would let me know in a few weeks or so."

"Did you tell your parents about the mishap?" Carlisle put down his money and gave me a serious look.

I shook my head. "No, they'd just freak out for no good reason. Besides, when I think about it now I realize that I got off quite lucky. It could have been much worse if Mr. Cullen wasn't there."

I had already gone through the whole thing at least five times with Alice and explained to Jasper and Carlisle repeatedly how everything was alright. Also, I had made it a point to make sure they all realized just how much Edward had helped me. Alice was a little suspicious at first but Jasper and Carlisle seemed quite relieved and somewhat proud of Edward. They had every right to be.

"Sophie, you can't switch your shoe with my iron in the middle of the game, honey." Alice switched the things back and I gave Sophie a wink since our shoe was currently sitting in jail. She didn't really have any idea what she was doing, but I loved her for instinctively knowing what's best for our team.

At that moment Edward walked into the living room in a suit, his tie loosened at the neck, his sleeves folded up to his elbow, blazer in hand, a briefcase in the other.

Sophie jumped out of my lap in a second and made a run for Edward.

"Jesus, everyone's gathered here? I've been looking all over the house for a sign of some human inhabitation…" Then he groaned. "Oh c'mon! Not that godawful game again…don't you people have better things to do with your lives?"

By now Sophie had reached Edward and he picked her up. She kissed him on the cheek once then patted his hair. He whispered something to her then set her down and she ran back to me and jumped into my lap again.

"Edward hates monopoly," Sophie announced as she took the dice from my waiting hands and rolled them.

"Ok, we will alert the press." Alice said in a mock serious tone then turned her face to him. "Edward, leave us alone."

He turned and left the room immediately and I felt kind of bad for him. He was obviously looking for some company.

We kept playing the game and Alice and Jasper were in the middle of a heated argument about Jasper allegedly stealing money out of the bank when my jaw practically hit the floor. Edward came back into the living room a few minutes after he had left. He had changed into his grey t-shirt and flannels and had a plate of food in his hand as he sat down on the couch above all of us and turned on the TV.

It was the first time I was meeting Edward after Alice and Jasper had picked me up from the gates of their private jet at LA. Before we went to New York, Edward would never come down to sit with his family when I was at his place, and when he did he would normally be in his work clothes and then leave as soon as he could. He never let himself to be comfortable around the house when I was here, and right now, he was sitting on the couch with his legs folded beneath him, his plate of Chinese takeout resting on his lap as he flipped through the channels and sipped his coke. Edward hadn't spoken a word to me this evening, but in his backwards fire breathing dragon way he was telling me that he did not mind me sitting here in his living room playing monopoly with his family.

I looked around the rest of the faces around me to see if they had also noticed this change but if they did, no one showed any signs of it.

"So, Isabella, I remember you spoke about seeing around California when you first arrived. Have you been able to see anything besides LA?" Carlisle started making small talk while we waited for Alice to decide whether or not she wanted to buy Trafalgar Square. We were playing a British version of the game that Carlisle had apparently picked up during one of his trips to London. This family had a thing for Monopoly and Carlisle made it a point to pick up local versions during his trips abroad. I had picked out the British one today.

"No, not really. I haven't really had too much time off work anyways." The truth was that any time I got off I spent with Alice and Jasper or here at the mansion. Honestly, why would I want to travel around on my own when I could be with friends?

"That's a shame. We have occupied far too much of your time I'm afraid. Alice, darling, you must make sure Isabella gets a chance to look around this part of the country while she's here." Carlisle said.

Suddenly Alice's attention was totally gone from Monopoly and I saw the wheels begin to turn in her head. Oh, no.

"That's an excellent idea! Let's go on a road-trip around Cali!" Her voice was really excited and her eyes were risking popping out of their sockets.

"That sounds fun Alice but I don't have that much time off." I tried to rein her in a little.

"We could go on a short day trip or something." Jasper said with a shrug.

"That's right! We can go tomorrow. We were all going to sit around and be boring all day anyways. Isabella, where do you want to go?"

I took a look at the excitement on her face and realized this could actually be quite fun. "Um…I don't really have a preference..."

Alice rolled her eyes. "C'mon…you can do better than that."

"How long does it take to drive to San Diego?" I asked.

"Oooh San Diego will be perfect! We can leave in the morning and have lunch there. Then we can hit the town and go around a little and drive back later in the afternoon. Yay, this is going to be so much fun!"

"Can I come too?" Sophie asked eagerly, looking up at me from my lap. I looked at Carlisle to see what he thought of that.

"But darling, I thought we were going to the zoo tomorrow. Would you rather go on a drive with them?" He pouted a little at Sophie.

"No! No! The zoo! I want to go to the zoo!" Sophie corrected herself quickly and Carlisle gave her an indulgent smile.

"Edward, you want to come with us?" Jasper asked from his side and Alice and I turned our heads in Edward's direction.

"No I'm busy." He said as he took a bite of his chicken and kept his eyes on the TV.

"C'mon man. It's a Saturday. How busy can you be? The pictures can wait a day to develop you know." Jasper smirked a little at the end and I gave Alice a quizzical look. She just shook her head a little, indicating I didn't want to know. Edward gave Jasper a quick glare then went back to his TV.

Carlisle and I looked at each other once and shared a polite smile. He and I both knew that I was the reason Edward didn't want to go.

"Oh, hey! I know. We can take the Vanquish. Ed man, you can drive it all the way there and back. How often does it get the chance to spread its wings for that long, dude?"

Edward's eyes flickered away from the TV for a moment but then went back to it. I smiled a little inwardly. His resolve was breaking. That's all it took to get over being irritated over my presence? A car? Jeez, his hatred for me must not be as bad as I thought it was. Then I slapped myself inwardly. I had admitted just a few minutes ago that he _was_ indeed more tolerant of me now. God, I was just as bad as him sometimes.

Alice chimed in then. "C'mon you big baby. Come with us. We won't bite."

Edward groaned then and got up from the couch and left the room. We resumed the game while Alice started coming up with things we could do in San Diego. After a few minutes I got a little thirsty and ran to the kitchen to get a drink before it was my turn to play again.

I stopped in the kitchen doorway a little when I saw Edward there, putting his plate and glass into the dishwasher. As relaxed as he had been in the living room, I didn't know if that meant he thought it would be alright for me to greet him now and I didn't want to take the risk. So I quietly walked on the opposite side of the counter from him and went to the fridge to retrieve the drink I had come there to get.

It took me a few moments to try to decide which drink to pick out of all the different kinds they had in the fridge and finally I decided on a Sprite and almost jumped when I heard his voice.

"Did you get all your stuff replaced? Your ID and bank cards and stuff?" He asked without looking up from the dishwasher where he was arranging the plates in a neat row.

"Yeah, most of it." I answered.

He nodded and turned to leave.

"Sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to you before I left at the airport." I added quickly before he was gone.

"That's difficult to do when you are being physically hauled by the devil herself." He looked at me over his shoulder.

"Thank you for everything. I owe you a big one." I told him sincerely.

The next morning I woke up early as usual. I picked out a sleeveless black top, faded dark jeans and black flip flops for the trip to San Diego and went to take a shower. After the shower I curled my hair a little so that it fell in loose waves all over my shoulders. When I came down to the kitchen Jasper and Alice were ready to go. Jasper wore a tan shirt and khakis, while Alice had on a baby pink sundress. We all grabbed a quick cup of coffee before leaving. Carlisle came down and joined us for coffee, then followed us to say bye as we made our way out of the house. All four of us stopped our chatter when we stepped out the main door and saw Edward standing in the driveway.

He was standing next to his black Aston Martin Vanquish with its roof down, fiddling with a large camera in his hands. It looked like one of those cameras that professional photographers go around with, and from the way he was handling the thing it looked like he knew what he was doing. He was wearing a white v-neck t-shirt, dark jeans and sunglasses, which made it pretty obvious that he was coming with us to San Diego.

He noticed his audience after a few moments and looked up. He rolled his eyes when he saw the shocked looks on our faces.

"Spare me all the drama and just get the hell in." He grumbled as he got into the driver's seat.

"Shotgun!" Jasper called and ran to the passenger side.

"Well, I'll be damned. I guess he doesn't go up in flames in the sunlight after all." Alice murmured as she walked towards the car and got into the backseat.

"I heard that." Edward warned.

Carlisle turned to me and put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a squeeze. "Have a nice day, Isabella."

"Thanks, you too. Tell the animals I said hello." I smiled at him and then got into the back with Alice.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

We were waiting in the gas station. I was in the car playing with the focus of my Nikon, hoping for queen Alice's safe return after her trip to the rest room. Of course she had to gulp down all that water and now she had to pee every fucking 15 minutes and of course a normal rest room won't do so she has to go into the employee bathrooms and make them clean it for her every fucking time. Jasper was pumping gas into the car while Dr. Swan stood beside him and stretched her legs.

She was taking lazy sips from her own water bottle and looking around herself languidly. Her eyes suddenly focused on the back of Jasper's head and lit up with a hint of mischief. Before I knew it, she sprinkled a little water from her bottle on Jasper and hid the bottle behind herself immediately. I raised my eyebrows at her behavior, but was intrigued to see how far she'd go so I kept my mouth shut.

Jasper's hand shot to the back of his neck where the water had landed and he turned to look behind him. He gave Dr. Swan a suspicious look but since there was no evidence of her holding any water he kept looking behind him then threw a glance above him to see where the water came from. She did that one more time and this time Jasper looked at her with conviction.

"Really Swan? You wanna start a water fight?"

"What! Get over yourself Jasper. Like I have nothing better to do." Her eyes were wide and innocent but there was a hint of a smile threatening to break out on her face.

"It WAS you, wasn't it? Oh, you are in so much trouble…" He grabbed the water bottle from her, that she had now revealed, and sprinkled a little water at her.

"Hey! That's not very nice you know. I did that because I was bored. You have no good reason _and_ you are totally messing up my make up." She said in a serious voice. He gave her a moment then sprinkled some more water on her. She first gave out a squeak then grabbed the bottle from his hand. Before any of us knew it, she actually held the bottle over his head and poured down a bunch of water and drenched his face and shoulders.

Jasper looked at her in shock and she broke out in laughter.

He turned to look at me, the shock still frozen on his face. I shrugged and gave him a look that said, "I told you not to become friends with her", and returned my attention to my camera.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

The sun was shining and I was driving just above the speed limit. We had the roof of the Vanquish down and the wind whipped my hair as I adjusted my sunglasses. I was trying hard to focus on enjoying the gorgeous drive and drown out Alice's relentless blabbering. Currently she was going on about her yoga classes and how they improved her coordination.

Dr. Swan was sitting right behind me. I looked at her through the rear-view mirror and noticed that she had this happy smirk plastered to her face as she listened to Alice. I knew that victorious smirk; she had it when she had done something mischievous and gotten away with it. She had given it to me a few times in the past.

"Hey Alice, you know you can always ask Dr. Swan to give you some pointers. _Her_ coordination is great." I said to Alice while I kept my eyes on Dr. Swan.

Her eyes widened and her face turned red as she gave me a glare through the rear-view mirror. I smirked, satisfied with the reaction.

"What are you talking about?" Alice whined.

"In New York…she fell on her ass in the ice ring trying to be all cocky about her skating skills."

Dr. Swan groaned and looked out the window.

"You fell on your ass?" Jasper roared out in laughter. He turned and bumped his fist with mine, silently thanking me for getting back at her on his behalf.

"Wait, when the hell did you two go skating? And…" Smack! I felt a strong punch on my shoulder and winced in pain before I had a chance to react. "You made her fall on the ice?"

Dr. Swan leaned forward and pulled Alice back into the seat. "No one made me fall. I fell on my own. Stop getting violent with the driver or you'll kill us all."

I looked in the rearview mirror again and smiled when I noticed the previously satisfied expression on her face was now transformed into a scowl.

My phone started ringing some time later with Sophie's ringtone. I smiled as I looked at the time. She had probably just woken up and ran to the phone to talk to me.

"_Bonjour chérie_."

"HiEdwardWhere'sBella?" She said in one breath.

My face fell immediately as I realized I wasn't the one she wanted to talk to.

"She's right here. Hold on." I held the phone behind my head and waggled it in the air. "It's for you." I grumbled. Dr. Swan gave me a look over the rear-view mirror then reached for the phone. The damn smirk was back on her face.

"Hi sweetie!" She said cheerily as she pressed the phone to her ear. "We're fine…just driving." She paused for a few seconds then gave out a chuckle. "No Sophie, I promise you we are not fighting." Pause. "Yes, I'll tell you if he's mean before I put a magic curse on him."

I rolled my eyes and Jasper waggled his eyebrows at me. "Magic curse, watch out for those man."

"Yeah, like you watched out for that little shower you got earlier?" I shot back.

That shut him right up.

"Sophie, I'm telling you sweetie, we won't. You don't need to worry…." She paused for a few seconds listening then sighed. "Ok." Then she leaned forward so her face was just beside mine. "Sophie needs us to promise her that we won't fight on his trip."

Then she held the phone in front of my face, waiting for me to say something. I gave her a look that said, "What the hell?"

She just held it there so finally I gave her an eye roll and murmured an "I promise" into the phone. She put it to her ear and said the same thing. Sophie seemed to be satisfied with that and hung up afterwards.

When we arrived at San Diego, Alice gave me directions for the restaurant she wanted us to eat at. After we stuffed ourselves full with seafood at a place called Truluck's, we went around the city a little and then we went down to the waterfront. The view of the city from this angle was amazing and I pulled out my camera. Alice made some jokes about the size of my humongous lens and how I was some wannabe photographer, but I ignored her easily as I lost myself in the process of capturing the beauty of the afternoon.

The sun was sending slanted rays over the horizon now and it cast amazing lights on each surface. I kept falling behind the rest of them as I got captivated by something through the lens and snapped away from different angles.

"Well if you are going to be pointing that thing at absolutely everything, the least you could do is capture the most beautiful part of the view." Alice said in a sing-song voice, and I looked up from the camera to see what she was referring to.

She had her arm wrapped around Dr. Swan's shoulder and smiled at me expectantly as she posed next to her. Dr. Swan, however, looked quite uncomfortable and squirmed to get herself free from Alice's clutches.

"Where's the most beautiful part?" I asked, even though I already knew what she was going to say.

"You're looking at it, moron. We are! Now take the damn picture." Alice squeezed Dr. Swan closer to herself who gave Alice a disgusted look and tried to get away.

"Man Alice, you are so strong! Let me go." Dr. Swan struggled away.

"Edward, take the damn picture before she breaks my arm." Alice still had a smile plastered to her face as she posed for the picture.

"I don't want to take pictures! Let me go, damn it." Dr. Swan said in an irritated voice.

"Isabella, stop fidgeting and stand still for the picture."

"Take it yourself! Why do I need to be in it?" Dr. Swan almost shrieked as she tried to yank herself away from Alice's grip.

"What is your problem?" Alice let her go and asked.

"I don't like taking pictures of myself. I am not photogenic. I look horrible them." Dr. Swan said with a frown.

Alice rolled her eyes. "No wonder you have a picture from college as your Facebook profile picture. We are going to change that Isabella. Edward, quick, take one of her on her own."

Dr. Swan gave me a horrified look then turned around and quickly walked over to Jasper. She grabbed his elbow and pulled him along with her as she briskly walked away from us.

"That girl has some serious issues." I told Alice.

She sighed exasperatedly then suddenly yelled out. "Isabella! Come back here and don't try to run away from me." Then she took off after Jasper and Dr. Swan.

I shook my head for a few seconds then resumed photographing the beautiful afternoon.

I felt a little hungry after some time and suggested we buy hot dogs. Alice and Jasper declined, saying they were still too full from lunch, while Dr. Swan and I each bought a hotdog with mustard only. We shared a curious look when we ordered the same thing, but it's not like I copied her order or anything. I don't care if she went first and I can't fucking help it if she orders hers in the same way I do.

Dr. Swan and Alice walked a little ahead of us while Jasper and I walked behind them, browsing through some of the pictures of my camera.

Dr. Swan went into a store and came back after a few minutes holding two bottles of water in her hands. She walked to me and Jasper instead of towards Alice and handed me one of the bottles. I gave her a quizzical look to which she answered, "I was thirsty after the hot dog. Figured you might be too.", then walked back to Alice.

I frowned a little as I took a big gulp of water from the bottle when she wasn't watching. I wasn't just thirsty, I was the fucking Sahara.

Jasper kept glancing through some of the pictures and smirked. I glared at him as I asked, "What the hell is your problem?"

"Nothing," he said and shook his head but kept his eyes on the camera the whole time.

When we were walking down a street with some stores, Alice caught sight of a designer store and saw a pair of shoes in the window that she had apparently been dying to get her hands on. She pulled Jasper and Dr. Swan each by one arm to go inside but Dr. Swan wriggled herself free saying she wanted to buy something for Sophie from a handmade jewelry store down the street. I walked down the street aimlessly as each of them disappeared into stores. When I came to the end of the street, looked at the harbor in front of me through the lens and was trying to decide on a frame. Right then, Dr. Swan came back out from the jewelry store and walked right into the frame of the picture I was about to snap. The wind was blowing from behind her and messing up her hair, which she repeatedly kept pushing out of her face. The sun had by now settled down further in the horizon and it was sending lights from the harbor behind her. It was lighting her up from behind and I was quite startled to realize how beautiful the frame looked. I snapped a few pictures then walked closer to her. She still hadn't noticed me and I bent my knees a little so I could angle the camera from a little under her face and called her name. She looked up and her eyes fell straight on the lens. Almost half of her face was covered behind her hair and I snapped a picture like that before she had a chance to react.

"What are you doing!" she asked in an incredulous voice.

"Really, Dr. Swan. A picture from college as your profile picture?" Then I gave her my evil smirk and walked back to the store where Alice and Jasper were at. After they were done we got back into the car and started the drive back home.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I was holding Sophie's hand and we were walking up the stairs to go to her room so I could tuck her into bed at her request. We had come back from our trip a few hours ago and after she told us all about her day at the zoo and asked us a million questions about our trip she had gotten sleepy.

Carlisle was coming out of a room of the second floor just when we arrived at the landing and I noticed a grand piano behind him in the room. My eyes widened at the sight of it and Carlisle turned around to see what I was looking at.

"Everything ok Isabella?"

I nodded then quickly looked at him. "You have a grand piano." I stated.

He looked at the piano once then back at me. "Well, yes. Haven't you seen it before? I thought Alice showed you the music room when she gave you a tour of the house."

I shook my head. I guess Alice didn't think the room was important enough to be shown. Besides, I hadn't actually gone inside most of the rooms when she had given me the grand tour of the mansion one of the first times I came here. She had just pointed out various rooms and I had nodded along.

"Do you play?" Carlisle asked.

I shrugged a shoulder. "I learned when I was a teenager. But I've never played on anything like _that._" I gestured towards the magnificent piano behind him.

"Well you are of course welcome to put that thing to use whenever you like. It might be a little out of tune though. It's been sitting around for years without anyone really using it."

I looked at him with eager eyes. "Are you sure? You don't mind?"

Carlisle was now smiling at me expression. "Of course not."

Sophie and I continued up to her room and after she had brushed her teeth I ran a brush through her long brown hair before tucking her into bed. I sat down next to her on the bed as I tucked the blanket around her tightly, like she had asked me to do the first time I had tucked her in weeks ago.

"Is there anything else you need, Princess?" I asked.

She nodded and nodded towards the doll of Tinker Bell that lay on her nightstand. I picked it up and tucked it into her arms under the blanket.

"So you really like the zoo, huh?" I asked her.

She nodded again. "Grandpa takes me there whenever he is home in the weekends." Then her eyes lit up as she thought of something. "Will you come with me some time? I don't think my friends have ever met a fairy before." I had heard her refer to the animals as her "friends" earlier when she was telling us about her day and I smiled.

"Of course. I would love to meet them. We will go some time." I promised.

"They were very happy when I told them today that I have a fairy now."

I smiled. "Yes you do." Then I added as an afterthought. " And they can have me too you know. I can be all of their fairy too."

Her eyes lit up again. "Yeah?"

I poked her nose lightly. "Yeah. I'll be a fairy for all your friends."

Suddenly she sat right up and the covers fell down on her lap. She still clutched Tinker to herself as she asked me with a very serious look. "Bella, will you be Edward's too?"

I looked at her for a few seconds before I realized what she was asking. "Oh, sweetie…Edward doesn't need a fairy. He's a grown up, he can take care of himself."

She shook her head quickly, making her hair fly all around herself. "No, no, he can't. He is sad all the time. You can put a happy spell on him."

I made her lie back down and tucked the covers around her again. "Ok you know what, you go to sleep now and I will think about it."

"No, Bella. You promised you'd be a fairy to all my friends. He is _my_ Edward. Please, please, turn him happy."

She looked at me with big eyes and I saw tears behind her lids that threatened to drop any moment now. My heart broke for this little girl who apparently worried so much for her uncle. I quickly said what she wanted to hear to make her happy again.

"Ok Sophie. Don't be sad sweetie. I will be Edward's fairy too."

Her face relaxed a little. "Thank you Bella."

I kissed her on the forehead and stayed with her until she fell asleep.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Later that night, after having been assured by Carlisle that the music room was soundproofed and I wouldn't disturb anyone, I went downstairs and turned on the lights to illuminate the beautifully decorated room. There were shelves filled with hundreds of books on one wall while another one was filled with music. I ran my fingers through rows of vinyl records, LPs, and CDs that filled the shelves with music of all genres and times. I thought I had a pretty good idea about who was responsible for filling the shelves and smiled.

Finally, I turned to the enormous black piano sitting in the middle of the room and ran my fingers on the shiny surface. I sat down on the black leather bench and softly started pressing random keys to test out the sounds. After I had played around for a while I started playing one of the tunes that I knew by heart. Pretty soon, I lost myself in the music, as I always did and closed my eyes while my fingers ran through the keys on their own accord.

When I finished the piece I just sat there with my fingers still touching the keys for some time.

"_Liebestraume_."

I turned my head to see Edward leaning with his shoulder on the doorway. I nodded at him. I was playing _Liebestraume_.

"You're not half bad."

I raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me, but I'm better than half bad."

He just stood there and I got uncomfortable with the silence so spoke first. "You like Liszt?"

"No, but I'm familiar with that piece. Where'd you learn it?" He said as he pushed himself off the frame and walked into the room.

"It's the first real piece I learned." I told him.

"Your teacher had good taste."

I nodded my head in agreement. He had no idea.

He walked over to the wall filled with music and started pulling out CDs. "You can keep playing. I just wanted to get some music. I'll be out of your way in a sec."

I shrugged even though he couldn't see. I didn't mind having an audience. I started playing the piece again.

"Do you play?" I asked him over the sound of the piano.

He just shook his head. After a while he turned his head slightly to me.

"You play that part too fast. It needs to be slower."

I laughed genuinely with all my heart. "My teacher used to say the exact same thing. But I like this part to go a little faster." Then to demonstrate my point I went back and played the part again, just a little faster than the last time.

"Showoff," he muttered and shook his head but kept his back to me. I smirked but kept playing. He walked to the door with a bunch of CDs in hand then turned towards me just before he turned the knob.

"Um…do you mind terribly if I listen?"

"No," I replied, then added as an afterthought. "As long as you keep your mouth shut about my pace. Or about any other critique you may have on my wonderful piano playing skills."

"I cannot promise you that, Dr. Swan." He told me honestly.

I smirked at him and kept playing. Edward put his CDs down on a side table and picked out a book from the other wall. Then he walked across the room to a large easy chair that was placed at a sitting area adjacent to the bookshelves. He leaned back on it with his feet up on the table in front of it and read his book.

We sat like that for a couple of hours. He read through almost half of his book and was so still that I didn't even notice him there after a while and was totally lost in my music. I played all the pieces by Liszt that I knew one after another that evening.

**A/N: Whadya kids think? Are they going forward in their twisted way or is it all just in my head? Should they keep fighting a bit longer? Or is it about time sweet music starts to flow?  
**


	11. Flying crooked, but flying nevertheless

_**The butterfly, a cabbage-white,  
(His honest idiocy of flight)  
Will never now, it is too late,  
Master the art of flying straight.  
**__- Robert Graves, "Flying Crooked"_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"_Chérie, __ça suffit_," I tried to coax Sophie out of the tub in which she was currently planning on living for the rest of her life. There were bubbles all over the place and she had her entire collection of waterproof toys to keep her company in the enormous tub. The girl loved her baths.

"_Un peu plus, s'il te __plaît_" she pleaded and gave me the puppy dog eyes that she knew always worked on me. I felt my resolve crumbling, so quickly picked her up from the tub before she could convince me anymore. She was already starting to get all pruny.

I wrapped her in a big towel and dressed her for bed.

"Why did Bella go to sleep so soon?" She asked while I pulled her Hello Kitty nighty down over her head.

"She must have been tired." I shrugged. Then I thought of something. "Why do you call her that?" I asked her.

"Bella?" She asked and I nodded.

"I like it. It's pretty…like her." She smiled as she said the last part.

"You think everyone's pretty." I told her as I lay her down on her bed.

"Noooo. She's not pretty like everyone else. She is pretty like a fairy. Really really pretty."

"_Mais pas comme toi._"I kissed her forehead as I told her that no one could be as pretty as her.

She wrinkled her nose and gave me a head shake, indicating she thought I didn't know what I was talking about.

"_Bonne nuit Princesse_," I told her and her eye lids almost started to droop but then flew open all of a sudden as she looked around her in panic.

"Where's Tinker Bell?" She looked at me in panic and I started looking around the bed to see where her doll was but didn't see it anywhere. Shit! She would throw a fit if she didn't have the doll when she went to sleep.

"Did you take it somewhere with you when you left the room?" I asked her as I searched under the bed for the doll.

"Yes! We were playing with Bella in her room before. I think she's still there." I stopped searching and sat up on the floor to look at Sophie. She looked a little less panicked now that she remembered where the doll was, but she was still anxious.

"Just stay tight, I will go get her for you ok?" She quickly nodded her head and I ran down the hall to Dr. Swan's room to retrieve the doll.

I knocked on her door twice but she didn't answer. I knocked again a little louder but there was still no answer. I thought maybe she was in the bathroom or something so tried the door knob and found that it was unlocked. I decided to just quickly get the thing and get out of there before she came out so pushed the door open and went inside.

The room was dark except for the light from one of the lamps by the bed that was on and I immediately spotted Dr. Swan lying in the middle of the bed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." I waited for a reply but she didn't move or say anything. She really had gone to sleep like Sophie said. I noticed that Tinker Bell was sitting on her nightstand. I considered speaking louder to wake her or something, but realized it was just easiest to get the toy quickly and get out of there.

I walked towards the bed as quietly as I possibly could. God only knows what she would think if she woke up and realized I was in her room. I chuckled at the way she was sleeping. She was in the middle of the bed, quite far down from the headboard and the pillows. She was sleeping on her stomach, with both her hands tucked underneath her and her face turned to the side. She was wearing a set of flannel pajamas with little pink flowers all over it and her hair was splayed around her head. I noticed that the covers were still folded in the foot of the bed and wondered why she didn't get cold sleeping like that. Then I quickly turned my attention to the doll as I realized I was acting like a creep, staring at her when she slept.

"No Mom, I want the yellow one."

At the sound of her voice I quickly retrieved the doll and held up my hands to apologize for breaking into her room. But when I looked at her face I realized she was still sleeping. Her position on the bed hadn't changed a bit. Then I thought about what she had said. I raised my eyebrow when I realized she was talking in her sleep.

"Alice gave me that spatula."

She mumbled again and turned to her side. She was now completely facing the side of the bed where I was standing. With the soft light from the lamp illuminating her features that were half covered in the hair that was splayed out all over the place, I realized she looked far too young to be a doctor. Sleeping curled up in the middle of that enormous blue bed in her pink pajamas, Dr. Swan looked more like a very young girl in college or something. How old was she, really? I turned to leave then but she mumbled again.

"Carlisle is so pretty."

I couldn't hold back the snort that came out of my nose at that. Damn, I wish I didn't have to hide the fact that I was in her room in the middle of the night, or I would have totally used that one to get a rise out of her.

I lingered for a few more seconds to see if she would say something like that again and finally she did.

"No I don't want to come. Edward will be angry."

I frowned at a couple of things. One, that I was a part of her dream. Why the hell was she dreaming of me? It felt like a violation of my fucking privacy or something. Two, why the hell is she calling me "Edward" in her dream. Three, why the fuck am I the only person in this dream of hers that has a negative side. Ok, I know _why_. Because I am usually an asshole around her. But then Alice got on her nerves too and Jasper also made digs at her once in a while.

I left the room quickly after that, not wanting to wait for anything else negative she might have to say about me. But I kept thinking about it when I was back in my room after having returned Sophie's doll to her. She had apparently not wanted to go somewhere where I was because she thought her presence angered me. Which was only partially true. I mean, yes when we first met it did but now I had become more or less used to having her around. What the hell was I supposed to do otherwise, the girl was _always_ around.

I felt a little irritated as I realized that I had actually been quite friendly with her recently anyways. I mean there was the whole New York trip, which, even if not "friendly" in itself, wasn't actually hostile either. Then yesterday I had gone with them to San Diego, and fucking voluntarily at that. And then I had gone to the music room when I had heard that tune that I had long forgotten and was actually equally surprised and impressed at her skills and her choice of music. I even asked to sit there while she played. How did she still not see that I didn't mind having her around?

I was lonely enough as it is without having to be cut off from spending time with my family every time this girl was around. And most importantly when I didn't even hate her guts so much any longer. She was very unlike other doctors in her ways and her mannerisms and it was easy for me to forget her profession around her.

I realized I would just have to try to make it more obvious to her that I didn't get angry every time she was around. Not that I would have to be a sissy about it or anything.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

The next morning when I came downstairs Dr. Swan had once again cooked a huge breakfast and everyone was sitting around the counter and stuffing their faces with all the food.

"Izzy-boo how come you're not slaving away at the hospital this fine Monday morning?" Jasper asked while he stuffed his face with a croissant. I groaned at yet another dumbass nickname that the girl had been given. And wait, did she actually _make_ croissants? God, the woman can cook.

"I have a night shift today, I start later in the afternoon. What about you? Why aren't you at work?" Dr. Swan asked him.

"He's just being lazy because you are here." Dad said with a smirk from behind his paper. He was already dressed and ready to go to work.

"What can I say Izzy-boo. I love ya…can't be without ya." Jasper winked at Dr. Swan who just winked back and sipped her coffee.

"Ok ok, don't get your hopes too high. I was actually waiting for Edward so we can leave for the office together and Alice can take our car home." He added.

"Well just make sure you leave as soon as he's up. This weekend has been drama free by some freak of luck. Get him out of here before the beast decides to reemerge." Alice said in a wry voice. Damn, there was that name again. What the fuck did I do now? I just fucking woke up for god's sake.

"Alice, be nice." Dad warned her from behind his newspaper and it felt nice to see at least someone was on my side. Then Dr. Swan saw me standing in the doorway and visibly kicked Alice to get her to shut up her rant about my asshole tendencies.

"For the love of god, will you stop kicking me!" Alice whined at Dr. Swan, who then quickly moved her eyes between the doorway and Alice a couple of times. Alice finally took the hint and turned around to see me standing there.

"Well, good morning to you too Alice. I see you have brought out your pitchfork bright and early this morning." I said in a steely voice as I made my way to the coffee pot.

"Edward, Alice…no drama. Please." Dad said in a serious voice, which worked fine for me because I was in no mood to start a throw down with the devil right now.

"Hey Alice, do you want to go shopping with me later this week?" Dr. Swan spoke up quickly in an obvious attempt to distract her and Alice plunged into an excited conversation about where they could go and crap like that. I sat down next to Jasper and he and I started to talk about the meetings we had later today and Dad gave us a few tips on how to handle some of the accounts. Even though Jasper and I worked for Dad's company he gave us a lot of freedom when dealing with our clients. He said he wanted us to learn by making our own mistakes and it worked out great actually. Besides, Jasper and I had each other to rely on when one of us were stuck with something and we learned together that way.

Dad had given us each sections from the paper and we were all drowned in each of our pages when the girls stopped talking and Dr. Swan suddenly spoke to everyone.

"Oh, by the way, can someone please give me a ride to the bookstore before I leave? I need to pick up a drawing book that I promised Sophie I'd get for her." She looked first at Alice, then Jasper and once quickly at Dad. Yeah, make it a bit more obvious that I wasn't included in the "someone".

Her dream from last night and my annoyance over it came back to me in a flash and I spoke up before anyone else could. This was my chance to show her that I didn't hate her like the plague.

"I'll take you."

All four heads at the table snapped towards my direction and I tried hard to hide the amusement in my face at just how surprised everyone was. I shrugged a shoulder and focused on the paper while I took a sip of the coffee. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that they were all very confused and were trying to decide what to make of it.

Alice was the first one to break the silence. "I'll take you Isabella."

What the fuck! Was she just pretending like I didn't exist or something? I looked up just in time to see that Dr. Swan was nodding in Alice's direction and that annoyed me to bits. I glared at her until she felt the heat of my glare and looked at me.

"I said I will take you." I said while I kept my eyes on Dr. Swan.

"Why? So you can snap her in two while you have her all to yourself?" My anger flared at Alice's attack.

"Alice, back the fuck off. You don't think I'd have done that in New York if I wanted to? I had plenty of opportunities then you know."

"The hell you would. You wouldn't live to see the light of day if you did."

"Alice, calm down." Jasper gave Alice a look and then turned to me. "Edward, it's fine you don't have to bother. Alice will take Isabella."

"I wouldn't have offered if I was bothered! Fuck, it's like putting myself up for prosecution every time I try to do something nice around here."

It drove me crazy that everyone in this house always managed to find something negative in everything I did. They had a problem when I couldn't stand the girl's guts and now they had to cockblock my efforts in trying to get along with her a little. I had had enough of all this bullshit. So I just got up and stormed out of the kitchen at that moment.

I had originally planned to go to the office after lunch today but I didn't feel like being around the house anymore so decided to just leave right away. I took a quick shower and got dressed for work in a white dress shirt and grey slacks and a black blazer and ran down the stairs. I heard voices in the living room and quickly picked up the keys to my Bentley and went out the front door towards the garage.

"Mr. Cullen!" I heard Dr. Swan's voice behind me when I was halfway to the garage and turned around to see her come running out of the front door. I stood there and waited for her to continue. I was quite far from the front door so she had to raise her voice a bit so I could hear her.

"Are we leaving now?" She asked as she stood on the steps outside the door.

I frowned in confusion. "Leaving for where?"

"For the bookstore." She asked incredulously.

"But…I thought Alice was taking you."

"Yes, she said she would take me and so did you. But_ I_ am saying I will go with you if you still want to take me."

I looked at her for a few moments to judge her intentions. She just kept her eyes fixed on mine. I finally turned around and started walking towards the garage again and called out over my shoulder. "I'll bring the car around."

I couldn't help but smile like a fucking school boy who had just won the shiny new toy in a competition. Take that Alice, she picked me.

She was already waiting with her purse in her hand on the front steps when I brought the car around. I got out and opened her door for her – I _was_ trying to make her feel more at ease around me after all. She gave me a suspicious look and raised an eyebrow before getting into the car. I rolled my eyes and gestured with my hand for her to speed it up.

I asked her what store she wanted to go to then pulled out of the driveway. When we were out of the residential area and were on the highway I looked at her from the corner of my eye and noticed that she was a little stiff, but not entirely uncomfortable. It annoyed me a little that she was so quiet and did not making an effort to make conversation. I couldn't help but think about how she was so much less reserved and carefree with my family. Well, that's why we are here now – so she would know that she could be those things around me too, and I wouldn't throw a fit every time.

When I pulled up in front of the store she jumped out saying she'll be right back before I had a chance to get out. While I sat waiting outside that bookstore for Dr. Swan to return, I realized just how ridiculous this situation was. I was fucking trying to be nice to a doctor for crying out loud. Damn, I must really love my family a lot to go through all this shit for them.

I looked through the window of the store and could now see Dr. Swan walk up to the cashier with the book in her hand that she started to pay for. She was all happy and smiling and chatting away with the cashier. Man, even that fucker she is nicer to. The stark difference between her quiet attitude in the car and with that fucker did not escape my notice.

I looked away from them to not let my annoyance increase anymore and noticed an ice cream truck parked across the street. I jumped out and bought two cones of pistachio ice cream and waited by the passenger side door for her. She finally came out of the store and her eyes went a little wide when I held out one of the cones to her. A peace gesture of sorts. She looked between me and the ice cream a few times then thanked me and got inside the car.

She quietly ate her ice cream while I drove back to the house and kept her eyes fixed out the window. Just before we were heading out of the area where the book store was she noticed something out the window and turned her head all the way backwards trying to look at the building, while gripping the door handle to steady herself.

"See something you like?" I asked.

"No." She said and I gave her a look that said I knew she was lying.

"What's a butterfly house?" She asked after a few moments and I realized now that was what she was looking at.

"It's a greenhouse with lots of butterflies. It's full of plants and trees of all kinds and there are like thousands of butterflies that are allowed to fly around freely all over the place. It's a touristy kinda place. I took Sophie there once but the little bastards freak her out."

I glanced at her a few times while I explained and noticed how her eyes lit up hearing about the place. I did a u-turn on the next roundabout and brought us back to the butterfly house. I couldn't help but chuckle at the look of astonishment on her face when she realized where I had brought us.

"Oh, Mr. Cullen we don't have to go now. You have to get to work too. I can come back another time."

I rolled my eyes and got out of the car and opened her door. "C'mon, it's not like you're planning to settle down here or something. It won't take long and we're already here anyways."

I walked into the enormous greenhouse and paid for two entry tickets. The lady who was selling the tickets looked between Dr. Swan and me a couple of times and gave me a gooey smile, which I returned with a tight one of my own and then gestured for Dr. Swan to lead the way.

She gave me a cautious look before she stepped through the glass door into the enormous green house. It was filled with hundreds of different kinds of tropical plants and trees. The whole inside was very green with vibrant colored flowers spread out here and there. And then there were the butterflies. They were everywhere. There were all kinds of colors and sizes of them, some of them flying around, others sitting on the leaves or flowers.

Dr. Swan gasped when she first stepped inside the place and took a few tentative steps forwards towards the closest plant and touched a leaf carefully. Then she scanned the entire greenhouse once and then turned her head up to look at the high glass ceiling before lowering her head and catching my eye. She gave me a look like Sophie does when she gets a new toy or something. I shook my head and smiled at her, then gestured for her to go further inside.

She walked over the little wooden bridge that went over a small pond filled with water lilies and walked towards a huge palm tree at the other end of it. She reached out a hand and gave one of the palm leaves a little shake, which set off a few butterflies that were sitting on it. She giggled like a little girl then quickly walked around the tree and disappeared behind a bunch of plants as she explored the place.

I walked around near the entrance for a while and looked at a few plants then finally went towards the direction Dr. Swan had disappeared in. When I walked around the palm tree and past the large plants I almost gasped at the sight in front of me.

There was a separate section of the green house ahead. It was an alcove with round glass walls and a glass dome ceiling. The walls were filled with vines of some kind of a plant that must be a favorite of the butterflies because there were hundreds of them all over the walls. The place was literally crawling with them and the flutter of their wings. Dr. Swan was standing in the middle of the alcove, completely lost in the sight around her.

She turned around after some time and saw me standing there. Her eyes were lit up and she was overflowing with excitement.

"This is so beautiful!" She said in a very excited whisper, trying to keep her voice down so as not to scare the butterflies I guessed.

I couldn't help but smile at the childlike excitement that she exuberated at that moment. Also I couldn't help but feel a little smug for being able to bring that look on her face. I didn't see _Alice_ doing that any time today.

Then out of nowhere there was a loud noise outside. It sounded like a car backfiring or something and I turned my head towards the direction the sound had come from. However, my head snapped back towards the alcove almost instantly afterwards as Dr. Swan gave out a loud squeal. All the hundreds of butterflies in that little alcove took off at the same instant and the whole space inside turned into a flutter of thousands of colors with her standing in the middle of it.

I thought she would get freaked out or something but first she just stood there very still for a few seconds before she broke out in laughter. She spread her arms out and kept laughing joyfully as the butterflies flew all around her. Some of the butterflies had by now started coming out of the alcove and they flew in swarms towards and past me on their way into the main greenhouse.

Dr. Swan's mood shifted visibly when we were back in the car. She turned towards me immediately as soon as I got into the driver's seat and her eyes were glittering with excitement.

"That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It was incredible how they all just flew all around me. Thank you."

I shrugged. "At least you didn't react by screaming and freaking out like the last girl I brought here."

She looked confused and her face got a weird look like she had just smelled something really bad. I realized too late that she didn't get what I was talking about.

"Sophie. I brought Sophie here before. Remember?"

Understanding dawned on her face and she went back to being excited again. She talked animatedly during the rest of the short drive about how beautiful the place was and I smiled to myself as I realized I had achieved my goal. She looked every bit as relaxed sitting in the passenger side seat of my car as she did when she was talking to Alice or Jasper or Dad or that fucking cashier in the bookstore for that matter.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

It was the next Friday night and I was sitting on the Cullens' couch flipping through their TV channels. Alice and Jasper still hadn't arrived and Sophie and I were curled up on the couch waiting for them to bring dinner. Carlisle hadn't come home yet either and Sophie's nanny had left after I came.

I had had a very rough week at work. We were swamped with patients all week and I worked non-stop all the time. I felt exhausted beyond words and since this morning my stomach was feeling a little funny, as it always did when I got too stressed. I was half considering staying home this weekend but then felt bad about letting Sophie down, who had made Alice call me earlier in the week to make sure I was coming.

Alice and Jasper arrived half an hour later and joined us in the living room. I noticed they hadn't brought dinner with them as they had said they would and Jasper told me Edward was going to bring it on his way home.

Edward came home another fifteen minutes later with bags of food in both hands. It didn't even take two seconds before Alice and him started fighting.

"I said I wanted Chinese you jackass. Do you _ever_ care what other people want?" Alice complained as soon as she saw the bags from Chic in his hands.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You are throwing a fit because I brought freaking proper food instead of crappy takeout?" Edward was almost yelling as he made his way to the kitchen to put down the food.

He came back to the living room after some time and sat down on one of the couches. Alice just mumbled something unintelligible under her breath and crawled up next to Jasper. I gave Sophie a quick smile and then got off the couch and went up to my room. I was exhausted and felt like crap and _really _didn't want to give Edward any chance of taking out his frustration against Alice on me.

The last weekend was probably the most peaceful one Edward and I had had around such close proximity of each other and I was surprised, to say the least, when I went home on Monday. First, Edward had shocked me by coming with us to San Diego and not picking a fight with me throughout the trip. Then he had literally offered a peace gesture by taking me to the store to pick out Sophie's book. On top of everything else he had shocked me to death when he bought me an ice cream and then stopped at that beautiful butterfly house to let me see it. I could see that he was making an effort to try to not hate me so much for his family's sake and to be honest, I felt a little bad for the guy. Here he was being forced to spend all this time around me and now he was literally trying to force himself to not hate me for his family's sake. So I had decided before coming in this week that I would try to keep my distance from him and make things easier for him by not forcing myself on him so much.

I managed to change into a bit more comfortable clothes for the evening by the time Alice came upstairs to get me for dinner. By the time I came down to the kitchen even Carlisle had arrived and everyone was gathered around the kitchen counter with all the food in the middle.

I took a seat by Alice and assessed the dishes on the table. There were at least three different kinds of pasta, lasagna and two steaks. Jasper grabbed one of the steaks and asked me if I wanted the other one, but my stomach was still acting funny so I declined and went for a bit of pasta and some salad. I noticed Edward threw me an irritated look but decided to just ignore it.

"Sophie, darling, I won't be able to make it to the zoo tomorrow. I have to go to the office for a bit. Is it alright if only Isabella takes you?" Carlisle asked while he separated the chicken bits for her on her plate. He looked at me to check if I was alright with that and I gave him a reassuring smile in return.

Sophie looked at me and nodded. Then she turned her head towards where Edward was sitting and looked between him and me a couple of times.

"Can Edward come too?" She asked Carlisle who looked at me then at Edward. Everyone stopped eating and looked between the two of us, as if waiting for one of us to snap or something. Both Edward and I just kept eating so Carlisle had to answer Sophie's question.

"I guess you will have to ask Edward that darling." He looked at Edward expectantly.

Edward kept his eyes on the food but shrugged his shoulders. "Sure."

Carlisle looked at me again to check how I felt but I just kept my focus on my food.

Jasper quickly started to talk about a deal at the office with Carlisle to change the topic while the rest of us ate in silence. The mood in the room lightened again after a while and Alice started making faces at Sophie, who giggled from time to time and tried to imitate some of Alice's faces.

I thought about the situation while I ate my pasta and realized that Edward was being pushed into spending time with me again. He had already been forced to spend a lot of time around me last weekend and here he was, once again feeling obligated to try to make me feel ok because of his family's expectations. I decided to volunteer to relieve him this weekend.

"Sophie how about only I take you this week and Edward can take you another week?"

The mood in the room switched immediately as everyone went quiet and Edward looked up from his plate and glared at me. After a few moments he rose from his stool, which noisily slid backwards, and left the table without saying another word.

I looked at Sophie who looked very disappointed and immediately felt bad. I hadn't meant for it to turn out like this. I mean, why on earth was he angry now? I just made things much easier for him!

I felt irritated beyond words. Both at myself for opening my stupid mouth, and at Edward for throwing a fit. Although, I don't know why I was irritated since he did this kind of stuff all the time. How many times in the past had I thought that I was being kind to him when he had snapped at me. I realized the reason I was a bit surprised this time was because he and I hadn't really been fighting ever since the New York trip.

After dinner I hugged Sophie to bits and promised her that we would have lots of fun at the zoo as she went off to her room with Carlisle. Alice and Jasper were going to stay up and watch a movie but I wasn't really in the mood for it so I excused myself to go to bed.

When I was about to walk inside my room Edward came out into the hallway from his room wearing his comfortable clothes. I opened my mouth to say something but he just gave me a death glare and walked off down the stairs.

After I brushed my teeth and washed my face I realized I had forgotten my book at home so didn't have anything to read before going to bed. I made my way down the stairs to the music room to get a book from one of the shelves there and found Edward sitting on the armchair reading a book like he had done last weekend. I knitted my eyebrows weighing my options. Either I could go in to get a book and risk the wrath of the dragon or I could just quietly go back up the stairs and lay awake in bed for hours without a book to wind me down. I sighed when I realized that the progress that we seemed to have made in New York and last weekend had gone up in flames and I didn't even know what the reason was.

While I stood there going through all these things in my head Edward's head snapped up from his book as he suddenly sensed my presence. As soon as he saw me in the doorway he put down his book and started to leave.

I had had enough. I was irritated that he was doing this again and I was too exhausted to deal with his fits all weekend. So I sighed just as he was passing me, "Mr. Cullen, what is it this time?"

"What are you talking about?" He spat at me as he just walked by me and didn't even look back.

"You are obviously angry about something. Did you want to take Sophie this week? That's fine Mr. Cullen, I was just trying to appease her. You can take her and I'll take her next week."

He kept walking and had almost reached the stairs by now. "Dr. Swan you are not important enough for me to be _angry_ with you."

I winced a little at his words then straightened my features quickly. "I know that. But something angered you. Look if Sophie…" He suddenly paused but didn't look back.

"This isn't about her!"

I looked at him blankly. "Then what is it about?"

"It's about you being a pain in the ass." Then he turned around and looked me straight in the eyes as he asked, " What the hell is your problem _now_?"

"What are you talking about?" I was totally confused.

"I thought we had gone past this!" He said with gritted teeth.

Ok scratch that, _now_ I was really confused. I just stared at him, waiting for some sort of explanation.

"Tell me Dr. Swan, did I not come to you when you needed help in New York?" He said in a cold voice.

"Yes you did." I answered.

"And did we not make it all the way to San Diego and back, spent an entire evening in that fucking music room and made a trip to the fucking butterfly house together without getting into a fight?"

He paused for a second then continued.

"Have I not fucking tried to make it a point that I don't mind your presence around here anymore?"

"Yeah, but you only did those things so that…" He didn't let me finish.

"Then why the fuck must you insist on trying to rip _my_ head off when _I_ am keeping my end of the bargain."

"When did I…" Again he didn't let me finish.

"When you leave the room just because I come in. When you don't eat the fucking steak I bought for you. When you refuse to even spend a day at the zoo with me there. I remember you accusing me once of ruining the mood at the table, whereas that is exactly what you did yourself tonight."

"But I was only trying to take myself out of the equation so that you wouldn't be uncomfortable." I tried to explain my behavior which had obviously angered him.

He gritted his teeth in frustration. "That's exactly my point. I have gone out of my way to show you that your presence doesn't make me uncomfortable. You just agreed so yourself right?"

I was quiet.

"Then why do you keep doing that? Why do you keep pulling back? It's like you're doing it on purpose to throw my earlier behavior in my face when I am trying to go past that."

Wait, what? He actually _meant_ to be nice all this time? It wasn't just because of his family?

I held his gaze for a long time as I tried to assess the sincerity of what he was saying. He held my gaze too and gave me a level look. The anger slowly poured out of his face and after some time he just looked dejected. Abruptly he broke my gaze and darted up the stairs. I heard the door to his room close with a loud bang a few seconds later.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

It was around 2 in the morning and I had been tossing around in bed for hours thinking about what Edward had said. And now, I stood in front of his door and couldn't believe my guts. All the time I had spent in this house, I had never once seen anyone other than Sophie go into his room except for my first day here when Carlisle had gone in there to yell at him. He was apparently very private about his room and I realized this might really anger him even more but I just couldn't go by the entire night in this mood.

I knocked once, then twice, then again and again. He didn't answer. I was annoyed that I wouldn't get to talk to him now but also a little relieved that he didn't come out to yell at me and was just ignoring me. I sighed and decided to get a drink of water before trying to fall asleep, which was unlikely.

When I came down to the kitchen I understood why he hadn't answered his door. Edward was sitting on the kitchen counter eating a piece of pie. The whole kitchen was dark except for a few spotlights over the counter and it sent dark shadows all over the place. He looked up once to see me come in but just focused on the plate in front of him.

I sat down on the stool opposite from him and he didn't even look up.

I took a deep breath and started. "So are you saying you want to be friends?"

"No." He grumbled.

"But you said you have a problem with the fact that I try to keep away from you." I reminded him.

"No, I said I don't have a problem with you being around. Those are two different things." He spoke like he thought I was an idiot. I still didn't see the difference.

Then I just had to ask. "Why don't you have a problem with me anymore? You had one before."

He was quiet for a long time and I thought he wouldn't say anything but then he did.

"You are different." He said in a quiet voice.

"Different… how?" I tried to figure out what he was thinking and then suddenly I realized what he meant.

"Oh! Different from other doctors?"

His eyes widened as he stopped eating and stared at his plate for a long time. Then he looked up at me and gave me an incredulous look.

"I haven't even thought about that this whole evening."

"Thought about what?"

"The fact that you are a doctor." He had his brows in a frown and seemed to be thinking very hard.

I didn't really know what to say. I was just as shocked as he seemed to be. Why wasn't he thinking of me as a doctor?

Then he looked at me again with a new determination in his eyes.

"Now that I think about it, I don't think of you as a doctor most of the time anymore." His voice was now earnest and there was no hint of the earlier irritation anymore.

"Why not?" I asked immediately, trying to get this out of him while he still seemed to be in a mood to talk.

"Because you don't really let it define you. You don't act like a "doctor" all the time. It's like it's only a part of you, that you usually leave behind when you spend time here. You are not afraid to be silly or have fun and just be yourself. It's easy to forget what you do for a living." He shrugged as he said the last part.

I thought of this for a few minutes and I could see what he meant…I always made it a point to not let myself be defined by my profession. Then something occurred to me.

"But you call me Dr. Swan all the time."

"Yes I do, but that's just what I call you. It doesn't mean anything." He shrugged a shoulder.

Both of us sat there quietly for a long time thinking about the conversation we just had. I didn't really know what to make of what he was saying. He said that it angered him if I tried to stay away. So…that means he _doesn't_ want me to make an extra effort to stay out of his way. And now that he had told me he didn't think of me as a doctor so much it made sense that he meant it when he implied that he didn't hate my guts so much anymore. Because he didn't really have any other reason to be so angry with me all the time other than because of my profession.

I looked at Edward and realized something that he had apparently realized some time ago. Maybe things didn't always need to be so tense between us after all. There was a part of me that he didn't like but we were both willing to leave that part aside.

Edward looked at me for a few seconds then went to the fridge and pulled out the Styrofoam box with the apple pie and cut up a piece and put it on a plate. Then he poured a glass of orange juice and came over to my side of the counter with both things in his hands.

"Do you want some pie?" He asked while he just stood there waiting for my decision before he put the things down in front of me.

I took a deep breath and nodded my head. "Ok."

**A/N: I know…that was looooooooong. But my beta and I made an executive decision. We thought it was better this way than splitting it up in two.**

**It seemed to be an even tie between those of you that wanted sweet music and those that want them to fight a bit longer. But as always, things are never that straightforward with these two. So they **_**fight**_** about **_**moving forward**_** and letting sweet music flow (Ok I realize that "sweet music" means one thing to me and something entirely different to some of you pervs ;) I use the term to refer to the fact that they will put down their hatchets and maybe, possibly, kinda try to be friendly-ish…maybe). **

**BTW I laughed my ass out when I read a suggestion about making them get into a physical fight and start getting it on from there. Ohhhhhhhh….how I was tempted to do that even though it would be so OOC for Dr. Swan and the Beast. Maybe I'll do an outtake of it or something if there's enough interest in that. :D :D**

**My beta Jadalulu totally completely and eternally made it possible for me to go ahead and post this chapter. I love her more than butterflies (in case you haven't figured it out by now, I kinda have a thing for them).**

**Apropos, pictures of the butterfly house are on my profile in case anyone's wondering what the hell those things are. As always, teasers for those of you that let me know what you think!  
**


	12. All the love of a daughter

"_**And the case of butterflies so rich it looks**_

_**As if all summer settled there and died."**_  
_~ Philip Larkin_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I sat on the stairs outside my building and turned my face up towards the sun to soak up the warmth. It had been exactly seven and a half weeks since I arrived in California and I still reveled in the sunshine at every chance I got. I squeezed my eyes shut and willed myself to burn the feeling of the sunshine in my brain so that I could remember it whenever I was feeling exhausted by the gloomy clouds of Seattle.

Between the full working days at the hospital and all my free time spent with the Cullens and the Hales, I barely noticed the time passing; and now it had been almost eight weeks and I was leaving for Seattle on Saturday. I had half working days at the hospital for my last three days and Alice insisted that we spend every waking moment together (and probably even those sleeping if she had her way). I wasn't complaining though. I didn't make a big deal of letting them see it but I was dreading going back to Seattle. My life here in the past couple of months had been the exact opposite of what it had been in Seattle. The sunshine made me feel alive. The company of my friends took away all traces of loneliness. The love they gave me made me feel wanted and gave me a sense of belonging. The love I had for them gave me more strength than I ever knew I could possess.  
It was strange but the strangeness of it made it no less real. I had only known Alice and Jasper over the phone for a few months before coming here but we had made an immediate connection once we had started talking. And after I came here they were a sanctuary for me. True friends who cared and who I cared for tremendously. I smiled to myself as I thought about the months before coming here when I used to be so grateful for the phone conversations the three of us used to have. To me that had felt like such a big deal, that they would be kind enough to take out time from their lives to talk to a lonely intern. But little did I know the extent of their kindness back then. From the moment I had set foot in LA they had treated me like a family member who had come to visit from out of town. They helped me with all the practical details of moving in to a new city, helped me find my way around, kept me company whenever I had free time. There were many many things Alice and Jasper had brought to my life that I was grateful for.

But the best thing they had given me was the Cullens. I had thought about this for ages before deciding to come to LA. I honestly didn't know whether or not I wanted to know the Cullens back then. And I knew that if I ever did come close to them things would either go extremely right or just straight to hell. And after meeting Edward in Seattle I was convinced that the latter would have to be the case.

But it hadn't worked out that way. Things had gone right. Very very right. And I had fallen in love with that family all over again.

I had never been very close to children and I hadn't spent a lot of time around any one child in particular. I usually kept a safe distance to children of friends and coworkers and I guess you could say I wasn't really the aww-your-baby-is-so-cute-coochie-coo type. Being the only child of my very overtly affectionate parents, I was used to being the baby and so babying another person never really came that naturally to me. But there was something between Sophie and I. We had connected in an unspoken way that very first day when we had bonded over a butterfly in the Cullens' garden. And every interaction I had with her ever since had just come naturally. For being a five year old she had the soul of a very mature person. She was very emotionally intelligent and I acknowledged that part of her during our interactions, which I suspect let her open up even more to me. I would often find myself thinking about her during my shifts at the hospital, trying to think of what game we would play the next day or smiling about something ridiculous she had pointed out earlier in the week. She was almost like a friend to me in a way, just a small person friend who allowed me to be goofy and childish along with her without passing judgment.

Carlisle had taken me in and made me a part of them. He had treated me like he did Alice and opened his heart and home to me. The love that was so deeply embedded in him for the people around him never ceased to amaze me. Even after everything he had been through he had managed to keep his faith. It was strange but at many instances in the last months I would observe him closely as he played with Sophie or hugged Alice before leaving the house or put an arm around Jasper's shoulder while he spoke to the rest of us, and I would wonder how he could not have lost his faith in people as Edward had done. And it was strange, but it felt as if deep down inside he knew the truth of things. As if whereas Edward had only seen the surface, Carlisle knew that there was always more to things than what appeared.

And then there was Edward. He and I had reached an understanding that night when we had talked in the kitchen and this time we had both kept our ends of the deal. Edward had spent time with the family when I was around without throwing too many fits and I had stopped consciously trying to stay out of his path. We weren't friends or anything, but we had learned to co-exist within the sphere of his family.

Which doesn't mean we didn't fight at all. We did…often. But it was no different from how Edward fought with Alice or Jasper or his dad. We would all be hanging out and occasionally one of us would say something to piss him off and he would throw a fit and retreat to his room. You know the drill. What had changed was that he no longer had that extra bit of animosity that was kept particularly for me and I could live with that.

I looked down the road and there was still no sign of the black Bentley. I checked the time on my watch and noticed that they were running late, but I was actually quite enjoying sitting outside in the sunshine so it didn't bother me. I turned my face upwards towards the sun again and thought back to the day after Edward and I had our talk.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

_I woke up a little late that morning and felt very groggy since I had gone to bed quite late. By the time I came down to the kitchen everyone was already gathered around having cereal and coffee. Carlisle was dressed in a suit ready to go to work, while Alice looked extremely tired herself and was leaning up against Jasper, who read the paper and ate his cereal. I mumbled a good morning to everyone and got myself a bowl of cereal and a big mug of coffee to wake up. _

"_Isabella, come with us to golf. It'll be fun. Edward can take Sophie to the zoo." Jasper said._

_Alice nodded her head in agreement but was apparently too tired to say anything. _

"_No, I want to go to the zoo today. I can come with you guys another time." I said and just then Edward came into the room and went straight to the coffee pot. Alice opened her eyes now and sat up, looking between him and me with a concerned expression on her face. _

"_Jazz, maybe I should go to the zoo with them. You can go golfing with one of your work friends."_

_Edward whipped around before she was done talking and came over to the counter. He put his coffee mug down on the countertop and gave Alice a deadly look then made eye contact with everyone else around the counter before he spoke._

"Isabella_ and _I_ are taking Sophie to the zoo."_

_Then he picked up his mug and left the kitchen. Everyone in the table followed his retreating form with their eyes then turned to me. I wasn't in the mood to try to explain Edward and my conversation from last night. So I shrugged my shoulders and focused on my cereal._

"_Apparently, we are taking Sophie to the zoo."_

"_Why is he calling you Isabella?" Alice asked…or rather accused._

"_It's my name Alice. It's not a dirty word." I rolled my eyes._

"_But why is he calling you that?" _

_I had a pretty good idea of why he had suddenly switched to calling me by my first name. Last night, I had asked him why he called me Dr. Swan if he didn't only see me as a doctor any longer. And he was showing me that he really didn't._

_I looked at Jasper then at Carlisle for some help to get Alice off my back but they seemed to be just as interested to know as her. I let out a quick breath and picked up my mug. _

"_Look, we talked last night. Things are going to be not as bad anymore."_

_Alice kept shooting out more questions about what he talked about and why we talked but I really didn't want to get into all that at that moment. Mainly because I knew she wouldn't agree with any of it and just tell me to stay the hell away from Edward. Then just when I was going to run out of the kitchen to escape her questions, Carlisle interrupted her._

"_Alice, let Isabella be. She will talk to you when she feels up for it." I threw him a thankful look and quickly left the kitchen to go and get Sophie ready._

"_Wake up sleepy head." I pulled on her blanket._

_She slipped deeper into the bed. "C'mon sweety, don't you want to go to the zoo with Edward and me?"_

_She quickly threw the covers down and looked at me with huge eyes. I laughed and kissed her forehead. "Good morning, princess."_

"_You are both coming?" She said in an excited way that only a five year old can get two seconds after she woke up._

"_Mmhmm." I nodded. " Your fairy is going to take both her princess and the prince to the zoo today."_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

My phone rang all of a sudden and startled me. I quickly rummaged through my bag and answered it.

"Where the hell are you guys?" Alice yelled into the phone and I held it away from my ear in order to avoid permanent damage to my ear.

"I am sitting outside my building with my bag packed. I don't know where they are." This is what most of our conversations were like nowadays. No greetings, no byes. We had become so close and spent so much time together that pleasantries became redundant.

"Well, the game is going to start in half an hour and forget trying to get into the house in the middle of it. Jazzy and I will not be disturbed by your late tendencies."

"But Alice, I'm waiting right here!"

"Don't Alice me. The three of you are always late. Every time I leave you alone you either get stuck somewhere getting ice cream or chasing damn birds or god knows what."

"Birds?...Oh you mean butterflies."

"Birds, butterflies, whatever."

"That was just once." I said in a defensive tone.

"What about when you stopped in the way to pick flowers on the roadside."

"But they were such pretty dandelions. And we brought you a garland didn't we?"

"Whatever Isabella. Don't even try it. Get your asses down here as soon as possible."

I rolled my eyes as I heard her hang up. She was right though. Carlisle had been gone at New York a lot in the past weeks and we had started to hang out more at Alice and Jasper's place. The routine was that Edward and Sophie would pick me up at my place and we would go over to Alice and Jasper. The only problem was that Sophie and I had a lot of fun on the car ride. Like, a lot of fun. So we were frequently late. Edward grumbled a while at first whenever we got up to something but after Sophie would manipulate him with these huge bug-like eyes he would cave and let us do things like stop at by the highway to pick up dandelions or pull over by a carnival so we could quickly run out and get some cotton candy and balloon animals.

In the beginning I always kept an eye one Edward to make sure I wasn't making him angry or something, but after a while I realized he really did mean it when he said he didn't mind having me around. So I stopped and just had fun with Sophie and I caught Edward smiling at us at times when we weren't looking. Edward and I didn't really talk with each other too much though. Even though we had moved on to calling each other by our first names our conversations were mostly about things like what time we were meeting the next day or where Sophie's shoes were or something. I couldn't help smiling to myself as I thought back to the first time I had called Edward by his first name.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

_It was the day we had gone to the zoo, the same day when he had first called me "Isabella". Sophie had been on super-high excited mode the rest of the morning as I got her dressed. Then once we got to the zoo she insisted on going around to every single place and introduce me to her "friends". She got furious at the monkeys that didn't turn around when she called for them to come and say hello to me and almost threw a fit when the hippo wouldn't come out of the water. After lunch, Edward and I sat across from each other on a bench while Sophie went on the merry-go-round. She waved at us each time her horse came into view and I waved back while Edward fiddled with his camera. I looked at him and saw him pointing the thing at me. I gave him a horrified look and he looked up from the lens and raised an eyebrow._

"_Relax, I'm pointing at the flowers behind you." _

_I turned around to see the flowers and then moved aside a little so he had a better view. He snapped a few shots then put the camera down. _

"_What is the deal with that by the way? What's so bad about being photographed?" He asked._

_I frowned a little. "I told you before. I don't photograph well. I hate seeing pictures of myself, they are always hideous."_

"_And is this a personal opinion you have built up or do you have tangible proof. Like a failed attempt at a modeling career or something?" _

_I rolled my eyes. "Doesn't matter. It's the truth."_

_Then my phone rang and I answered it to hear Jasper on the other side of the line._

"_Hi Izzy-boo. What's up."_

"_Not much Jasper. Sophie is just making sure not a single inch of this place stays untouched by our presence before we leave for the day. What's up with you guys."_

"_Not much. Alice is beating my ass and I am trying very hard to refrain from breaking her bubble and telling her that I'm letting her….Ouch!" I assumed he just got smacked by said opponent._

"_Yeah, keep telling yourself that big guy." I smiled slightly and shook my head._

"_So, is everything alright with you guys? You don't want us to come rescue you from the b-e-a-s-t?" I chuckled as he spelled out the last word and looked at Edward._

"_No, Edward is right here and everything's fine." _

_His looked up from his camera and raised an eyebrow. I looked right back at him, challenging him to have a problem with it. He relented finally with a shrug. And that was_ _that_.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I got off my feet and stood on the stairway holding on to the railing while I watched the Bentley drive up the street to my building. As it got closer, I could see Sophie pressing her face to the window and wave frantically at me. I waved back and then blew her a kiss.

As soon as the car stopped Edward got out from the driver's side, which was on the opposite side of the car from where I was standing, and quickly started unbuckling Sophie from her seat. Within seconds she was out and running towards me with a squeal. I smiled and shook my head at her enthusiasm, since we had just met last weekend. Then she abruptly came to a stop when she was a meter away from me and looked at me expectantly. I raised my eyebrow in question and she shook her head as if not surprised by my reaction and then pointed at her tummy.

I smiled widely as I took notice of her bright pink t-shirt. She often wore pink so I didn't really pay much attention to her clothing when she got out of the car but this was no normal t-shirt. Across her chest was typed in large letters: "I *heart* my fairy".

I widened my eyes to show her my surprise. "Where on earth did you manage to find that?"

"I asked Aunt Alice to make them for me. We went to the store and picked out the shirts ourselves then we printed on them ourselves too." She told me with a proud look on her face. I shook my head and jumped off the stairs to scoop her up in my arms and hug her.

"Your fairy loves you too, little bumble-bee."

I held Sophie by one arm and picked up my bag with the other arm and started to walk towards the car. Finally my eyes fell on Edward leaning against the passenger side door and I did a double take as soon as I saw him properly. He was wearing dark jeans and converse, sunglasses, and a light blue t-shirt with a v-neck with the words "I *heart* my fairy" written across his chest in huge letters.

My lips twitched as I tried to control the laughter that was bubbling up inside me and Edward must have noticed because he took off his sunglasses and gave me a warning look as he came forward and took my bag from me. Just as he was right in front of me and I handed him the bag I couldn't hold it in anymore and I threw my head back and laughed out loud.

"What's so funny?" Sophie asked as she seemed totally confused about why I would find this funny.

Edward gave me one more glare then a mischievous glint took over his eyes. "I wouldn't be laughing too much if I were you. There's one for you too."

That made me shut up immediately as I looked at Sophie horrified. She gave me an expectant nod and looked at Edward, who leaned into the backseat of the car and produced a pink t-shirt identical to Sophie's but larger in size. He had his signature evil smirk in place as he held it open in front of his chest to show me the lettering.

"I *heart* my Prince and Princess", it said.

A few minutes later we were on our way, each of us with our shirts on, Edward driving with me in the passenger seat and Sophie buckled in the back. Sophie and I were singing along to "Barbie Girl" in the radio while Edward paid close attention to the road.

Sophie started making faces at me after a while and I unbuckled my belt and turned around to reach for Sophie and tickle her but was interrupted by Edward's annoyed voice.

"Isabella, cut it out."

"Hey! Why just me? She was the one that started it. Why don't you say something to her?" I pointed an accusing finger at Sophie and gave Edward an overly enthusiastic look.

Sophie leaned back in her seat and tilted her head a little leisurely and watched the back of Edward's back before she spoke. "Because I am his wife."

I turned around and gave her an incredulous look. "You did it? Without me?" My voice was quite high pitched and Edward flinched a little at the loud sound. I turned my attention to him quickly.

"What on earth, Edward? I was supposed to be your best man!"

Edward gave me a level look that stood in stark contrast to my excitement level and then looked back at the road. I smiled inwardly thinking of the day last week when Sophie had proposed to him and then graciously granted to let me be Edward's best man while Alice was her maid of honor. We were supposed to have the ceremony in the tent in her room this weekend, but apparently they had already had that.

I looked back at Sophie and she gave me an apologetic look. "Sorry Bella. We did it last night and Grandpa was the best man _and_ the priest."

"But Sophie, how could do it without me?" I whined to humor her even further. And also because, to be honest, I kind of wanted to be there.

"I couldn't wait any more Bella. I had to save him from the wicked witch." Sophie's eyes were wide and I frowned my brows in confusion.

Edward groaned and leaned his head back on the headrest. "Is _that_ why you were in such a hurry?"

Sophie nodded her head. "I don't want her to kiss you anymore. Now you are _my_ husband so she can't."

I looked back and forth between them a couple of times and waited for some explanation. No one seemed to be in a hurry to tell me so I turned half of my body as much as I could with the belt still on and looked at Sophie straight in the face.

"Who is the witch?" I asked Sophie.

"Stop calling her that." Edward snapped.

I ignored him and wiggled my eyebrows at Sophie. She wrinkled her nose and made a face like she had just tasted something bitter while she supplied the information. "Tanya."

"Who's Tanya?" I asked.

"She was Edward's girlfriend before he married me."

My jaw dropped as I turned to look at Edward. How had he had a girlfriend all this time and I hadn't known? He threw a glance towards me and looked very irritated.

"She's not my fu-.." He stopped himself before the word slipped out and started again in a calmer voice. "She is not my girlfriend. Now stop talking both of you or I'm taking Isabella back to her place and then going straight home."

That shut both of us up and Sophie fell asleep after a while. I didn't blame her. It was boring to sit there and not be able to talk. Edward seemed to agree with me though since he broke the silence after a while.

"I didn't say anything at the time while you playing but you totally butchered the Chopin on Saturday."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You know, you could just learn to play one of these days and then show me how it's done. Until then, keep your opinions to yourself."

"Just because I don't play myself doesn't mean I don't know music."

I rolled my eyes a little but he couldn't see it because I was looking out the window. This was our daily routine whenever we were alone. He would criticize my piano skills from nights before when he usually sat in the music room and read while I played, and I would tell him to learn to play first. This time he was criticizing my playing from last weekend since that was last time we had met.

Then something came to my mind.

"So, not that it's any of my business, but who's this person that Sophie is trying to save you from?"

He glanced at me quickly from the corner of his eye. "You're right. It's none of your business."

Then he looked at the road for a few seconds before he spoke again. "Tanya is Alexander Denali's daughter. Alex and my Dad do a lot of business together and we have known them since we were all kids. Tanya can be a little…um..overly friendly." He raised a hand and ran it through his hair, looking a little uncomfortable. "Screw that, she can be a pain in my ass. She is a brat but we have to tolerate her because Alex spoils her like crazy and he doesn't like it if she gets upset."

"I see." I said and then was quiet for the rest of the ride. I didn't know what else to say. Poor Edward being chased by bratty girls. Boo-hoo.

"Finally!" Alice bellowed as soon as she opened the door and Sophie threw herself at her for a fierce hug.

"Hello to you too Alice." Edward grumbled as he slid past her to go inside. I just shook my head and followed all of them after closing the door behind me.

Edward flopped down on the couch next to Jasper who handed him a beer. The whole coffee table was filled with pop corn and chips and candy. Sophie wiggled out of Alice's hold and took a seat between Edward and Jasper, each of them taking turns in kissing her head before handing her some pop corn and candy.

Alice and I took our seats just in time for WWF to start. All four of them started shouting at the TV and encouraging one of the guys or the other as they threw chairs at each other and whatnot. I watched the people in the room with huge fascination as they sat with their attentions glued to the TV. This family's obsession with wrestling would never make sense to me. They had even gotten Sophie all into it. I wondered how healthy it really was for a five year old to know all the names of the wrestlers as well as who was related to whom and who was whose girlfriend. But while watching Sophie yell at some guy called the Undertaker for taking a hit I realized that ship had already sailed. Whatever damage I was worried about was already beyond done.

"Isabella, stop staring at us and watch the game." Jasper said without even looking at me and I rolled my eyes at him as I turned my attention to the TV. The Undertaker really was taking a bad beating and I flinched as I wondered if the last blow would cause a hairline fracture on his femur. This obviously got me angry at the other guy and I yelled at him to cut it out. The rest of the people in the room gave me looks of confusion and bewilderment and Alice muttered something about me having to up the trash talk.

So we sat for the next hour watching the show and yelling and throwing pop corn at the TV and despite my constant worrying about all kinds of fractures and organ ruptures that the blows could be causing and the morals of letting a five year old enjoy so much violence, it was a perfect afternoon in my book. We were all having an amazing time surrounded by people we loved and there was no place on earth that I would rather be at in that moment.

And just like that, that moment fell apart.

Edward's phone rang for a long time insistently before he finally groaned and answered it while his eyes were still glued to the TV because Alice threatened to flush it down the toilet if he didn't. He jumped up from the couch after a second and the look of horror on his face got everyone's attention. Sophie climbed out of the couch and placed herself on my lap as she kept an eye on him and Jasper quickly went up and turned off the TV.

Edward turned to Jasper after a minute and talked while the phone was still pressed to this ear.

"Dad had a stroke during a meeting at the office. They took him to the hospital and they are going to rush him to surgery." Alice gasped and rose off her seat while Jasper kept his eyes steadily on Edward's. Edward seemed to be in shock since there were no expressions crossing his face. He just looked blankly at Jasper.

I held Sophie tighter against my chest and ran my hand through her hair. She was starting to shudder as she could sense the tension in the room.

Once the initial shock wore off all three of them scattered in different directions, collecting wallets and phones and putting on shoes. I sat on the couch with Sophie, holding on to her.

"What's a stroke?" Sophie asked with a small voice that was breaking because she was trembling.

I tightened my arms around her to let her know that I was there as I spoke. "It means that Grandpa is a little sick, sweetie. But he is at the hospital and the doctors are taking care of him." It took everything in me to not let my voice shake any more than it already did, but I was trying very hard to stay strong for the little girl in my arms.

Edward came back into the living room once he was ready to leave and looked at Sophie. Alice came back at the same time and looked at us too.

"Alice, take Sophie to the nanny." He said quickly.

"Edward, I have to go to him." Alice had tears in her eyes and I could see just how much she needed to be with Carlisle at that moment.

"I'll take her." I volunteered before Edward got angry with Alice for no reason. "May I come to the hospital afterwards?" I added.

Edward looked at me for a few seconds then turned to Jasper as he came into the room then back at me. Then he nodded his head at me.

"I'll call the nanny. Just take her to the house. The nanny will be there before you get there. Drive safely. Make sure she's strapped in properly. Jasper, give her the keys to your SUV."

Edward then came up to where I was and gently pried Sophie away from my arms into his. He then carried her to the hallway away from all of us and we heard the two of them whisper in French for a few minutes.

When they came back into the living room Sophie looked much calmer and he handed her back to me. She went back to burying her face in my shoulder but she wasn't trembling any more.

The three of them left for the hospital in Edward's car while I took Jasper's SUV to bring Sophie back to the mansion. It took me more than an hour to get there because I was shaken to the core at what had happened and on top of that had Sophie in the back of the car. Throughout the ride I tried to not let Sophie see just how scared I was but I don't think I did a very good job. Sophie was a very perceptive child and she knew it when people weren't being honest with her.

After I reassured her over and over again that I would keep an eye on her Grandpa and her Edward I handed her to the nanny before I peeled down the Cullen's driveway to get to the hospital. Without Sophie in the car my tears ran freely as pictures of stroke patients passed through my head. You would think that having dealt with hundreds of such patients would have made me act more reasonably. I mean, I didn't even know the extent of the assault. It could just have been a minor stroke that was barely noticeable. But it didn't mean I could see reason at that moment. As I wiped away the tears that were streaming down my cheeks and blinked my eyes repeatedly to keep my focus on the road, all I could think of was Carlisle's kind smile last weekend when I had brought him a cup of coffee in the morning and how he had kissed my hair lovingly.

"The hell you will!"

I heard Edward's voice boom out in the corridor before I turned the corner. I closed my eyes for a second to gather myself but didn't slow down my pace. As soon as I turned around the corner I saw just what I had expected. A surgeon and a nurse were trying to explain something to Edward while he frantically yelled and threatened them. Jasper stood beside Edward with a hand on his shoulder trying to calm him, while Alice sat in a chair behind them and wept uncontrollably.

"Mr. Cullen, you are making this very difficult for us. You have to trust us, we are only trying to save your father's life." The surgeon said in a calm and somewhat of a condescending tone. I searched Edward's face for the usual signs of fury I would find at this point but all I saw was desperation.

"If you are trying to save him, then why can't you let me be there? I swear to god, I won't disturb you people. I just want to be in there with him." I could hear from the tremble in his voice and his clenched fists that Edward was trying very hard to convince the surgeon and not break into a fit of rage.

"Mr. Cullen I understand that. But you have to understand that for us to do our job properly we can't have you in there. You are only wasting precious moments by keeping me here right now."

Edward got a look in his face that I had never before seen on him. He looked defeated. He looked like a boy who was about to lose his father and he was scared. I knew that feeling all too well.

He removed Jasper's hand from his shoulder and turned around from the surgeon, then walked to the other side of the corridor. The surgeon started to leave and the nurse followed him. I quickly ran up to where Edward was standing with his back to the corridor looking out through the window. I stood beside him in front of the window and waited until he turned his face and saw me standing there. His eyes were unfocused and I could tell that his mind was somewhere else.

"I'd like to sit with him, if it's alright with you." I told him and his eyes remained unfocused while he frowned his brows. Then he seemed to understand what I was asking and turned around to look at the surgeon then looked back at me.

I kept my eyes on Edward to watch his reaction as I spoke to the surgeon. "I understand that you cannot allow a family member to sit in at the surgery but I would like to observe as Mr. Cullen's personal physician." Edward kept his eyes fixed on mine and he seemed to be searching for something in my face. I didn't break our gaze and let him find whatever it was he was looking for.

"If you are indeed Mr. Cullen's physician then that's alright with us. You can scrub in and observe." The surgeon said and waited for confirmation. Edward and I hadn't broken our gaze and I waited for him to let me know how he felt about this. Finally, he sighed and then nodded his head slightly before turning his eyes back out the window.

"She is our family physician." He said.

After I changed into hospital scrubs and had tied my hair up and put on a surgical cap I went to find OR 2, where Carlisle would be. However, they were still setting up in there and hadn't brought up Carlisle from his CT yet so I went back out to the corridor to find the family.

This time the corridor was full of people. There were a bunch of people in suits, older men mostly, and some women also in formal clothes talking in hushed voices to Jasper and Alice. Everyone had looks of concern on their faces and after I moved close enough to hear what they were saying I realized they were people from the Cullens' office who were concerned about Carlisle. My heart ached at the worry in these people's faces who weren't even related to him. It was the perfect evidence of how amazing of a person Carlisle Cullen was.

Alice was still in tears and Jasper had his arms around her while he spoke to the people around him. He met my eyes once and I gave him a reassuring look. Then I noticed Edward in the end of the corridor, where I had left him earlier by the window.

Edward Cullen was the baby of the Cullen family. He was the youngest son and therefore always acted like one. I could imagine a young Edward, stubborn as hell, always racking up chaos and getting his way. He hadn't changed much in that respect. But he had lost the people that cared for him along the way. First his mother, then his brother. And if something happened to Carlisle, he would have lost his last anchor. Then he would be truly alone, with no one to take care of him. And I could see the fear of that loss in every angle of Edward's body.

Edward was sitting on one of the chairs by the window now and no one was anywhere close to where he was. He was sitting with his head bent down facing the floor, his elbows resting on his knees and holding his head in his hands. The contrast between the huddle of people all comforting each other in their distress at this end of the corridor and Edward all by himself on the other end struck me. Because I knew that he was the one that was the most distressed out of all the people in there.

I quietly walked up to where he was sitting and sat down on the chair beside him, keeping my eyes on the window in front of us overlooking the hospital entrance. He lifted his head and looked at my scrubs. He leaned back in the seat and mirrored my position, looking out the window too.

"I was lonely. I had no idea it was possible to feel that lonely, but I was." None of us moved an inch while I spoke and I paused for a second to give him a chance to ask me to shut up, but he didn't. So I continued.

"When I first moved away from home, I only had one thing in mind. I wanted to be a good doctor. How I got there didn't matter. I struggled through college, spending every single moment I could studying so that my grades were perfect and I could get into a good medical school. At medical school, I focused all my energies into learning everything I could so I would be a great doctor some day. Then I moved to Seattle to start my internship and worked every moment of every day. Throughout all this, while I ran after my dream, I didn't care that I isolated myself from all the other people in my class and made so few friends. But when I finally started working as a doctor, I realized how stupid I had been. I could have done all those things and still have had time for friends if I wanted to. And now, I was left all alone. Without anyone who I could call a friend in Seattle and my parents hundreds of miles away. I drifted through every single day feeling like an island of a person in that huge city.

I watched people all the time. While I sat in the subway, when I went to a mall, when I went to the movies. I watched people and I saw how they called someone to let them know they were coming home late, or they bought coffee for two at Starbucks, or just walked around the streets holding someone's hand. And all those people had one thing in common. They belonged to someone. There was someone who loved them, waited for them, that they wanted to get to. But I never had to call anyone to let them know if I was going to be late, or waited for someone to pick me up.

It's something that people take for granted, this idea of belonging to other human beings. Of being part of a group. Of not being an island. And that's something that your father gave me Edward.

I am no one to your family. I was a stranger until a few months ago. Your father first invited me to your home because he wanted to thank me for checking on Jasper in Seattle. And that would have been more than enough. But I know that Carlisle saw the loneliness in me. He and I never talked about it, but we both knew what this was. He opened his home to me and allowed me to be a part of a group, and he made me feel like I wasn't alone in this city. And for the first time in years, I was no longer an island."

Now I turned towards Edward and waited until he looked back at me before I said the next part.

"I am grateful to all of you for letting me be a part of your group, but I am grateful to Carlisle for making me feel like a part of his family. I love your family Edward, and I love Carlisle. I am going to sit by his side and I am going to hold his hand as long as he is in there. Of course he would want to have his son in there with him, but that's not possible. But Edward, he will not be alone in there. I will remind him over and over again how much each one of his family members loves him. And he will have someone in there who loves him with all the love of a daughter, and he will not be alone."

I gave Edward a long look to let him see that I meant every word. Then I got up and walked down the corridor quickly back to OR 2.

I felt the lump in my throat rise as I walked back into the OR and watched Carlisle lying on the operating table. He looked so tiny in the middle of all those tubes and machines attached to him. They had already put him under anesthesia and were preparing to retrieve a blood clot from PICA with vascular surgery. The surgeon took a few minutes to show Carlisle's scans to me and I breathed in relief when I saw that it was just that one clot and there were no signs of bleeding. They had caught it soon enough and we could expect a good recovery if the surgery was successful.

I kept my promise to Edward as I sat with Carlisle for the next six hours as the surgery dragged on much longer than it should have. The surgeons had a lot of trouble getting to the vessel and then once there it took them double the time to place the catheter in place. The surgeons had figured out pretty soon after the surgery started that I was more than just his physician but they let me be. I never let go of Carlisle's hand for a second as I whispered to him over and over again how much his entire family loved him. After a while I told him about my childhood, my teenage years, about why I chose to become a doctor, about going to college, about how I came to meet his family and how they had affected my life.

Finally they were done and the surgery seemed to be successful, but as with all brain surgeries, they never knew for sure until the anesthesia wore off completely and they could test his neurological status. They transferred him to the post-op ward and I sat with him there while the surgeons went out to inform the family.

He returned after a while, with Edward, Jasper and Alice following him into the room. I gave them a look but turned my eyes quickly back to Carlisle because I would break down into tears again if I looked at their broken faces for too long.

"He keeps drifting in and out of consciousness. The anesthesia will wear off totally tomorrow. You can see him for a few minutes then he needs to rest." The doctor said then left the room. Carlisle had been coming to a little bit at a time for now and I had been there to answer him every time as he asked the same questions over and over again.

"Isabella?" His voice was raspy and I barely recognized it. I had never heard such weakness in his voice and the lump in my throat was hard to swallow.

"Yes Carlisle. I'm right here." I leaned further towards him and spoke.

"Edward? Is he ok?" He asked and I turned my head to see tears streaming down Edward's face.

"He is fine Carlisle. He is right here." I ran my thumb back and forth across the back of his hand.

"And Sophie?"

"Sophie is also fine. We told her you are a little sick, she took it well. Everyone is fine Carlisle. Everyone is fine. Please don't worry."

Jasper put an arm around Edward's shoulder as he came to stand beside him and Edward let him comfort him. I waited for Edward to say something to Carlisle but he just looked at his father with fear in his eyes. I wish I could tell him that everything was going to be alright, but even if it was a very good sign that Carlisle was speaking for now, it didn't guarantee anything.

Then Carlisle said something that shocked me.

"And Lizzie? Is she ok, Isabella?" He said with a slight frown. I gasped a little then took a few deep breaths. He was sick beyond words and he was worried about Edward's mother. My eyes watered up and I failed to stop the tears from falling this time. I wiped them quickly before I spoke, and my voice was cracking as I humored him.

"She is fine too, Carlisle. She is perfect. Don't worry about her."

"Take care of them, Isabella. All of them." Then he stopped talking and drifted off to sleep again.

**A/N:I know, I know...things look bad. But have faith in me, girlies. I know where I'm going with this. Stay with me and I have a feeling you kids are going to like the developments in the next chapters :)**

**So anywho, sorry it took me so long to update. School started and life got really crazy all of a sudden. But now I'm up and running again. I have the next two chapters written and ready to go. **

**It took me ages to reply to reviews and send out teasers this time, so sorry about that. But better late than never, I figured.**

**As I shift the dynamic of the E/B relationship now and the next few chapter, it is increasingly important for me to know what you think. So please do feel free to tell me how you respond to the turns. I have so much fun reading how while some of you yell at Edward for being a slow bastard, others think he is giving in too fast. It'll be exciting to see what you guys have to say about this and the coming parts of the story. *Waiting with baited breath for your opinions* xoxo**


	13. Marvin and Monopoly

"_**They seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if they had surprised a butterfly in the winter woods."**_

_~Edith Wharton_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I did his post-stroke rehabilitation routine 3 times a day. We went through the motor skill trainings, the speech practices, balance training, all of it. I would go through the whole routine and Edward was always there helping me. He would for example hold one of Carlisle's arms while I held the other during his balance training. Or he would help to score the speech training tests while I conducted them.

It had been three days since we had brought Carlisle home. When the anesthesia from the surgery had worn off and the doctors had cleared his CTs and said that he would start his post-stroke rehabilitation, Edward had insisted that he brought Carlisle home and have a personal physician and a group of nurses take care of him while he recovered. It had taken me all of three seconds to realize that there was no way I could leave behind the man whose hand I was still holding as he lay in the hospital bed and go back to Seattle. So I offered to oversee his rehabilitation routines. Edward and I had just shared a look and he had relented without any argument whatsoever. We all discussed that it might be tough for Sophie to see Carlisle in such bad shape, and especially if we were taking him home so soon. So Alice and Jasper had offered to take her to New York and stay there while Jasper took care of business there that Carlisle couldn't attend to, while Edward and I had come back to the Cullen mansion with Carlisle. We had a nurse taking care of basic hygiene routines and his medication, while I oversaw his recovery and worked with his rehab training and Edward helped me.

By the third day we had established a fully functional routine. I would have breakfast and make something for Carlisle while Edward stayed with him while the nurse washed him up. Then after Carlisle ate we would go through the exercises once. After that Edward would work in the office while I had something light for lunch and I always left some food for him on the counter. I would sit with Carlisle and read to him until Edward came in and we would go through the routine again. Then in the evening Edward would order food for us and we ate mostly in silence. Carlisle was still bound to the bed mostly so he ate there. After dinner I would read to Carlisle again until he fell asleep while Edward would sit by his bed and listen to me. After Carlisle would drift off to sleep I would adjust the blankets over him while Edward would get the lights and we would leave him for the night. Then I would go into the music room and play while Edward would either sit and read in the room or go back to his own room.

During the past three days Edward and I only spoke when necessary, but that had happened a lot. We had to figure out all the logistics of having Carlisle home in this condition, what the nurses' roles were, what part I would do and what he would do. I would ask him what Carlisle likes to eat, or he would ask me to get an extra blanket for him. I would ask him to hold on to Carlisle's hand while I tried to lift him, or he would ask me to read a different book because the one I was reading was annoying him.

On the fourth day, Edward had to go to the office. Something big had gone wrong in their absence and Edward had to go in to fix it. He asked me if I would be alright by myself and I assured him that it was fine. He still made the nurse stay overtime to make sure I had help before he left. I told her to go home when she was done for the day and sat down to read for Carlisle. He had been doing extremely well with his rehabilitation and we had pushed him quite a lot today so he was exhausted. He fell asleep pretty soon that night and I tucked the blankets tightly around him and then left him for the night.

I made dinner and ate in the big empty kitchen by myself while I read a book. I checked my e-mail after I was done eating and almost had a heart-attack when I saw the e-mail from the Chief of Medicine from my hospital in Seattle, that basically said that he had spoken to the Chief of Medicine at my hospital in LA and they had come to some sort of an agreement about letting me finish off the rest of my internal medicine rotation here if I wanted. The hospital would be drawing up some sort of a special program in order for me to stay here.

I had a pretty good idea about what had caused this change in the attitude of the Chief from a few days ago when I had begged him on the phone to give me a few days off so I could stay behind with Carlisle while he recovered. Back then he had basically told me that I wouldn't have a job left if I didn't go back that instant and I had just ended the conversation politely, deciding that I didn't want to deal with that then. I knew that he was just threatening me and that I would be here for one more week at the most, after which I would grovel at his feet if it took that to resume my internship.

Edward came home around eleven o'clock and walked into the living room clutching a blazer in one hand and a briefcase in the other. His tie was loosened at the neck, with a few buttons of his white shirt opened, his sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His hair was crazy and all over the place.

"Hey." He said while he stood in the doorway.

"Hey." I answered back. I was sitting on the floor in the middle of the couches in my sweats, with the board of Monopoly spread out in front of me.

"How is he doing?" He asked.

"Just fine. He did great with the exercises today. Much better than yesterday. He was exhausted, so he fell asleep pretty soon."

He looked out the doorway towards the staircase. "I'll go check on him."

"He's fine, really. It's probably best to not disturb him. He needs his rest." I told him honestly and he seemed to see my point. It really did amaze me just how much we could agree on things nowadays.

He pulled on his tie a bit more and started to leave.

"You look tired." I said and he stopped. Ok, so that was something that I didn't really _need_ to say to him, but he did look that way.

He came towards the couch beside me and flopped down on it, flinging his blazer and his briefcase on the other side of the couch.

"Tough day?" I asked as I rolled my dice.

"Yeah. The useless fuckers at that office can't even keep the place running for two days without us." He said while he turned on the TV with the remote and flipped through the channels.

"Did you eat dinner?" I asked him while I counted my money.

"No, I didn't get time." He said, then suddenly he groaned. "Fuck, I forgot to have food sent here for you."

I rolled my eyes at the board. "I _can_ still cook, even if you insist on ordering food every chance you get."

"You shouldn't have to cook too. You're already doing more than enough." He said with a frown. And it was the first time either of us had mentioned anything about me being involved in the whole thing.

"I made lasagna. There's a whole one for you in the oven." I glanced at him and saw his eyes widen.

"You cooked for me?"

I shrugged. "You've cooked for me before."

"When the fuck did I cook for you?" He said almost like I had offended him. I giggled a little.

"You made me breakfast in New York remember?"

He stopped talking and started flipping through the channels again. Then his stomach growled so loudly that I could hear it even over the sound of the TV. I laughed out loud.

"Just go and eat your dinner already."

He got up from the couch and left the room. I grabbed the remote from the couch and turned the TV off and went back to my game.

About fifteen minutes later Edward came back into the living room with a plate heaped with lasagna and a can of Coke in his hands. He sat back down on the couch with his legs folded under him and the plate balanced on his lap. He turned the TV back on and put on a news channel while he ate. I let him finish his meal in peace before I asked him the thing I had been wondering about all evening.

"Did you call my hospital in Seattle?"

He was taking a sip from his Coke and looked at me cautiously while he took the Coke can away from his lips.

"Yes."

"Why did you do that?"

He put the can down on the table before he spoke. "I heard you talking on the phone with them the other day. You were trying to get some days off to be here and they wouldn't let you."

"So you decided to help me out?"

He just kept looking at me.

"Thank you. I am very grateful Edward."

His jaw went a little rigid and his eyes hardened for a second. Then he decided to ignore me and go back to the TV.

"Did you pay them a lot of money?" I asked again out of nowhere and totally took him by surprise. He looked at me with wide eyes.

"That's not important."

"It is to me." I challenged. "I don't want such big favors Edward. I would have no way to repay you."

Now his anger flared and his face was almost red.

"Really Isabella? You want to talk favors? While you sit in my living room not giving a shit about what happens with your job because you want to take care of my father? All I did was throw some money at them that is barely pocket change to me so they let you stay here. You really want to compare favors?"

I gave him a level look for a long time then just resumed my game. I saw his point.

"What the fuck are you doing anyways?" He asked suddenly and I looked up at him.

"What do you mean?" I asked. He pointed to the board in front of me.

"I'm _playing_." I said with a frown. What did it look like I was doing?

"I can see that. Who the hell are you playing with?" He asked.

"With Marvin." I said with a nod and tried to hide my smile. He tried to look around the room inconspicuously and then gave me a confused frown.

"Who the fuck is Marvin?"

"He is my imaginary friend." I said with a shrug and rolled the dice for Marvin's turn before looking at Edward. He still had that confused look on his face so I explained further. "He's a space cowboy."

"You have an imaginary friend?" He asked as if he needed to clarify this further.

I turned my eyes towards him once but just kept playing.

"Aren't you supposed to outgrow them when you're like ten?"

I shrugged. I didn't care if he judged me. We were both quiet for a long time before I spoke.

"I miss Sophie." I said while I moved my iron to Oxford Street.

Edward nodded slightly. "She's having a good time. She has always liked being in New York. Alice has been spending all her time with Sophie. I'm scared to death she's going to come back clutching a fucking Gucci purse or something."

I chuckled at the image and could totally picture Alice finding a miniature Gucci purse for Sophie.

The evening dragged on and I started putting the pieces on the table back in their little pouches when Edward spoke.

"Is he going to be alright?"

I looked at him to see him watching me intently. I didn't need to ask him to clarify.

"His progress has been tremendous so far. I am hoping for a full recovery, but there are never any guarantees with these things." I told him truthfully.

He nodded again and turned his eyes back to the TV but I could see that whatever was playing on the screen was very far from his mind.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

The next evening I came home around 8 and heard Isabella's voice coming from the kitchen. I put down my blazer and briefcase on the side table in the hallway and went to the kitchen. She was stirring something in a pot while humming to herself. I cleared my throat and she turned around all startled.

"You scared me!"

I shrugged. "I was going to ask you what you wanted for dinner but I see you're cooking again." I nodded towards the stove.

"Yeah, Carlisle said you guys like spaghetti and meatballs." I nodded my head in agreement. It was one of my most favorite things to eat.

"He is doing great by the way." She said as she turned around to the stove to stir the sauce.

"I know, I talked to him on the phone earlier this afternoon."

I lingered in the hallway for a few minutes while she walked around the kitchen, opening cupboards, getting things out of the fridge, chopping salad. By the ease with which she moved around the kitchen in her sweats, who could ever tell she had been a stranger just a few months ago.

I turned around quietly and went up to my room after a while and got changed into my sweats too. The day had been very long at the office and I felt like shit after all the hours of trying to sort out the mess the idiots had created just in a few days while Dad, Jasper and I were away. But things were more or less under control now and I would probably have to only go in tomorrow again and then handle things through the phone. Which was good, because I didn't like dumping all of Dad's responsibilities on Isabella. She had volunteered to take care of him as his physician, but was obviously doing much more than that. I didn't want to take any more advantage of her kindness.

And I had come to the conclusion that it was indeed kindness. That was the emotion out of which she was acting. It had taken me months to understand her motivations behind why she was spending time with my family. But I had finally seen it.

It was right there in front of me from the very first time we had met. When she had gone out of her way to make sure Jasper was alright. I knew that fact, but I tried hard to find other motivations behind her action other than kindness. Because I figured that there had to be. One of _them_ couldn't act only out of kindness.

Then over and over again since she moved here and blended in more with my family she proved herself in front of my eyes. And I saw the kindness in her all the time but always tried to see what was hidden behind it. It oozed out of her every action, in every look she gave Sophie, in every smile she shared with my father, every time she put her arms around Alice's shoulder or hugged Jasper. And I had tried and tried but never found that flash in her eyes that showed me that she had some hidden agenda behind it all.

But the moment at the hospital when she told me why she wanted to sit with Dad during his surgery in my place, she had looked me straight in the eye and let me see behind her eyes and into the depths of her soul. And I had seen the depths of it and hadn't found anything. I had shed light on every corner of it but couldn't find a single piece of darkness anywhere. And then I knew.

Isabella Swan wasn't the monster that had been haunting my life for years. All this time I had been thinking that she was one of the monsters, dressing up as a seemingly kind girl. But that day at the hospital, she wore the clothes of the monster per se – her scrubs – while she sat by my side and pulled me out of the abyss of loneliness and misery as she told me why she would stay with my Dad. And I met Isabella Swan for the first time. The lonely girl with a genuinely kind heart who had found friends in my family and whom she had come to love. At that moment, I realized that Isabella Swan was in fact a kind girl who was actually _dressed up_ as the monster.

It was just like the time when I had carried Sophie in my arms to Isabella's doorstep, basically begging her to take care of something I loved, and as soon as she had taken Sophie out of my arms and cradled her I had felt relief wash through me. I felt the same way when Isabella had walked back to the surgery to sit with Dad. She had once again taken all the misery and pain from me into her arms and walked into that room. And ever since we had come home with Dad and I had spent all my days around her, I had thought of every moment that had passed since Isabella had come into our lives.

It was all real. Her concern for my family, her love for Alice and Jasper, her gratitude towards my father, her affection towards Sophie, the childlike enthusiasm she had in her eyes as she watched New York from my car, the innocence in her giggles as she played with the snow, the fear in her features when she sat huddled in the living room after she was mugged, her thoughtfulness when she bought me a water bottle in San Diego. I had never been able to find hidden motivation behind all those actions because there weren't any.

She probably thought I was crazy by now but I couldn't stop watching her as she took care of Dad. How on earth could a person be that kind to someone that she wasn't even related to? I could see her genuine concern for him in the creases of her brow when he had a hard time pronouncing one of the words from her speech exercise or when her hands shot out to support him when he wobbled while walking. She would leave a sandwich for me on the kitchen counter every day during lunch and didn't even complain when I forgot to order her dinner yesterday. And then there was her job. After I had overheard her phone conversation with her employer in Seattle about extending her stay here I had expected her to come to me and ask for help somehow but she had done no such thing. She didn't even seem phased at all by the whole thing. So I decided to take things into my hands and make sure she had the option of staying in LA if she wanted to.

Not that I had done that entirely for her benefit. I didn't want her to leave right now. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back a little as I thought the next part. _Her presence here made me feel safe_.

I didn't need other people in my life. I was self-sufficient in every sense of the word and never asked anyone for help. And thank God, the moments when I would need to ask someone else for help were very rare in my life. And when they did come, I always had a hard time because I would do anything but ask for help. Also, it never actually helped to ask for help anyways since people generally only fucked things up and made them worse.

But somehow, God only knows how, Isabella Swan had helped me in those desperate moments without my having to ask. We weren't even friends and she couldn't possibly be doing this consciously, but from the moment I had met her, somehow she always managed to take a portion of my grief and give me a hand in dealing with them. Right from the beginning, we had always fought and she would always stay away from me as much as she could. But then those moments when I was desperate, she had been there somehow – when Sophie had her fits, the day at the hospital with Dad when I was lost, when I wanted to bring Dad back home to take care of him but was at the same time terrified at the prospect of messing something up, and then ever since we had come home. She had been there and helped me in the most desperate of moments without me ever having to ask for it.

But what blew my mind more than anything else was the fact that she made no big deal about it. She just acted like it's what she was supposed to be doing and through not a single action or word made me feel like I owed her.

I realized I had left her on her own to cook for us and went back down to the kitchen after a few minutes. I sat down on the counter and typed some e-mails on my phone while she cooked. She gave me a few looks but I just ignored them while I worked.

"You know, you don't have to, um…" She trailed off and I looked up at her. She looked at me for a moment and waited for some kind of response but I just gave her a blank look.

"You can go watch TV. I will tell you when food's ready." She said as she glanced quickly towards the doorway. I looked at it once with my finger still pointed at my phone's screen then looked back at her.

"Are you asking me to leave?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"No!" She said with a frown. "Of course, not. I just...you don't have to feel like you have to sit here."

"I don't do anything because I feel like I have to." I told her while I continued to type. I looked at her once to check if she was paying attention. Because I meant that shit.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I was making the cream broccoli soup for Carlisle's lunch that he seemed to have liked a lot last week. I was midway through chopping a leek when Edward came into the kitchen. He was still dressed in his flannel pants and t-shirt from last night since he wasn't going to the office today.

He groaned as soon as he came in.

"You are cooking again?"

I turned around to face him with my back to the stove. "Yeah, why?"

" I was just looking for you to ask what to order for lunch. This has to stop Isabella."

I scrunched up my eyebrows. "Why? Do you not like my cooking?"

He rolled his eyes. "Now you are fucking fishing for compliments? I don't do that shit. You are very well aware of the answer to that question."

I noticed when he said the f-word. He hadn't said it since the day at the hospital when Carlisle had gotten sick. It was an indication that he was starting to feel like himself again and trusting in Carlisle's recovery.

We were still arguing back and forth about the cooking thing while I carried a tray with three bowls of soup to Carlisle's room and Edward carried glasses and lemonade. He was whining that I should stop cooking and let him order food while I was just generally enjoying messing with him.

Carlisle was sitting propped up on the pillows resting by his headboard and he put down the book he was reading and removed his reading glasses as we came in. He gave us a curious look as he heard the bickering and I rolled my eyes at him, exaggerating my exasperation with Edward's whining.

"What are you two on about this time?" He asked as I handed him his bowl and Edward adjusted the sheets around him so he could sit on the bed.

"Edward hates my cooking." I said just to mess with Edward and it had the effect I wanted. He glared at me before taking the bowl from my hand.

"Whatever. Dad, ask her to stop with this cooking shit. I am going to throw away all the food next time she does it and order anyways."

"Why don't you want her to cook?" Carlisle asked as he tasted a spoonful of the soup and I saw in his face just how much he liked it.

"Because she already does more than enough." He said with a frown.

I stopped sipping the soup for a second but kept my eyes on the bowl. He was concerned that I was doing too much already and he didn't want to burden me with the cooking.

I looked at Carlisle and gave him a small smile to let him know that was stupid. Carlisle smiled back.

"Did it ever occur to you that she might actually enjoy cooking for us?" He winked at me as he said this because apparently the man knew me too well.

Edward looked at me questioningly and I shrugged as I took a spoonful of soup in my mouth.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Carlisle decided to take a nap after lunch and his rehab routine. Edward went into his office to do some work while I pulled out the Monopoly and laid it out on the living room floor.

After I had been playing for a few minutes I was kind of bored and was about to give up when I heard Edward coming down the stairs. He could see me in the living room from his position halfway down the spiral staircase.

Edward shook his head in disbelief before starting descending the rest of the steps. He came into the living room and looked down at me.

"Don't you have to study or something?"

"Why would I have to study?" I asked and looked up at him.

"I thought doctors are always reading medical journals to stay updated."

I raised my eyebrows a little, impressed by his knowledge of the medical profession. But then, of course, I don't know why I was even surprised.

I shrugged a little. "I'm not going to work for a while anyways. It's nice to not think about anything to do with work for some time."

"What about what you do with Dad? That's doctor stuff."

I frowned. "That's not _work_."

He went all quiet. "I know."

"But really, Monopoly? You can surely find a better way to entertain yourself." He went back to being a pain.

"Hey. I happen to like this. Leave me alone." I said without looking up at him and moving my iron two boxes down. From the corner of my eyes I saw him standing there for a while, as if contemplating something, then finally he groaned and walked towards me.

"For the love of God…" He muttered as he sat down on the floor opposite to me.

"Hey!" I almost screamed and startled him. "You are squishing him!" I tried to keep my voice as serious as possible.

He looked at me like he was completely lost. "You are sitting _on_ Marvin!" I told him.

He made a face and then tried to pick up the dice but I snatched them away before he got to them. "Let him out from being trapped under your butt, Edward. He isn't enjoying that very much."

He gave me a level look then raised himself up a few millimeters off the floor. "Happy?"

I nodded and handed him the dice with a satisfied smirk and an indulgent smile to the empty space on my left and Edward's right. Where Marvin had now moved to, obviously.

"I swear to god Isabella, you are worse than Sophie sometimes." He said as he went through the pouch and picked out a shoe to be his piece.

"I thought you hate this game." I said and he shrugged but didn't say anything in response.

I shrugged back and started a new game with him. Honestly, I was getting quite tired of playing with a partner who didn't speak much. Not that Edward was any better as we had now been playing for about fifteen minutes and none of us had said anything.

That's when it happened. Now when I think about it, I realize it had actually been going on for a while but I was too innocent at the time to suspect anything. Edward had been getting a lot of money very quickly and pretty soon he had a huge heap and had almost emptied the bank. I should have been suspicious but don't know why I didn't think about it.

When he picked up a Community Chest card and announced he had won another two hundred dollars my suspicions took full force.

"Show me the card." I demanded out of nowhere.

"Whatever." He mumbled and grabbed the money from the bank. I let him take it but refused to play my move until he showed me the card. He let out an exasperated huff and turned to the space on my left and his right.

"Marvin, can you ask your girlfriend to play already?"

"I'm not his girlfriend." I huffed back and folded my arms on my chest.

Edward never showed me the card and we finally ended the game there because we had reached an impasse. He wouldn't show me and I wouldn't play unless he did.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

After that Edward went up to check on Carlisle while I went into the kitchen to make dinner. I pulled out some marinated steaks from the fridge and started looking for potatoes to bake when Edward cleared his throat behind me. I turned around to see him standing in the doorway.

"He is up, but he's doing some reading. He says he's very hungry though." He said as he leaned against the door and nodded towards upstairs where Carlisle was.

I smiled in relief. "His appetite is returning. That's very good. Dinner will be ready soon."

Then I turned back towards the sink where I was washing the potatoes and speeded up my work as I felt relief wash over me. These first days after a stroke were crucial and the recovery that he did now was indicative of how much he would recover in the long run. From the way things were progressing it seemed like Carlisle would make a full recovery.

I started turning towards the fridge and squealed when I hit something hard standing right behind me. I looked up to see Edward standing two inches from me holding half a spring onion in his hand.

"What are you still doing here?" I gave him a confused look.

"If you insist on cooking for us then at least let me help you."

"Edward, you really don't have to. I like cooking for you guys."

He got an irritated look on his face. "Yes, you have made that clear. But I don't like other people doing things for me. So cut it the hell out or let me help."

I sighed. This was definitely not worth breaking peace over. "Fine, just chop the rest of that," I pointed at the spring onion in his hand. He nodded and turned towards the counter to the cutting board I had placed there.

We stood with our backs to each other as he chopped and I sautéed garlic. After a few minutes I held out my hand behind my back as I asked him for the onions. He mumbled something but didn't hand me what I wanted so I came behind him and looked over his shoulder at the cutting board.

I had already chopped some of the onions before Edward had taken over and they lay on a pile on one side of the cutting board. On the other side lay chunks of onion cut in haphazard shapes and sizes that stood in stark contrast to my perfectly cut concentric circles. Edward was holding up one of his pieces and comparing it to one of mine, trying to get his look more like mine. Suddenly he noticed me standing there and his posture went all rigid and he gave me a level look. I tried very hard to keep the amusement from my face but I know my eyes were giving me away. He noticed and gave me a glare.

"What?" He asked as he banged the knife against one of the onion pieces.

"Nothing. I just need the onions now." I said innocently.

"They are not ready yet. You can wait."

"Umm…no I can't." I pointed at the stove where the garlic was sizzling. "I need them, like, now."

"Isabella. Stop being a pain. Go do something else while I do my work." He spoke like I was a child and I realized there wasn't really any point in arguing with him. So I just removed the skillet from the stove and started preparing the potatoes again.

About fifteen minutes later and my countless attempts at trying to keep my snickers inside as I watched Edward launch into a full blown battle against the poor onions I was done with everything else and really needed those onions now if I was going to get anywhere. Edward was angrily wiping away the tears that were now flowing freely from his eyes but it seemed like he refused to acknowledge any of it. At some point his onion pieces were way too small to match the ones I had made so he had switched to trying to make mine smaller and now they were all just as messy. I would have tried to stop him earlier but I was having way too much fun watching him.

Edward quickly threw me a glance and caught me smirking with my elbows resting on the counter top as I leaned back on it and watched him. His frustration with the onions seemed to grow tenfold and he started banging his knife down on them all over the cutting board.

"Edward?" I tried cautiously.

"What?" He barked but didn't look at me.

"That will be just fine." I tried but he just gave me an angry glare.

"No, seriously. I mean it. If you make them any smaller they'll just become mush."

"They are not all the same size yet." He said angrily as he continued his assault on the cutting board.

"But they don't need to be…"

"They," _thud_ "fucking," _thud_ "will," _thud_ "be." _THUD_.

I jumped a little as the last thud echoed around the entire kitchen and watched him with wide eyes. He threw the knife down on the counter and pushed the cutting board towards me.

"There. All done. Anything else?" He asked as he wiped his tear soaked chin with a dish towel, like nothing had happened.

I just shook my head and quickly picked up the cutting board and went to the stove with it before he changed his mind or something. Hell would have to freeze over before I let Edward do anything else to help me. The mood swings on the boy was giving me a whiplash that I was going to need physiotherapy for.

He however had other ideas. He started picking up the cutting board, the knife and some other pots around the kitchen and took them to the sink. Then he started washing them and I just smiled to myself at his helpfulness while I prepared the sauce.

"Motherfucking horseshit. Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck, shit, shit, shit, fuck." I quickly turned around as the stream of profanities oozed out of Edward. It was quite a lot, even by his standards.

I quickly ran up to the other side of the kitchen island where he was standing flailing around with his left arm as blood oozed out of his palm and stained every surface of the kitchen.

"What are you doing? Stop moving your hand." I said as I started towards him.

"It fucking hurts." He gave it another shake as he spoke and a row of drops was scattered on the fridge door.

"Edward! Stop." I said as I finally reached out and took a hold of his bleeding hand. It really didn't seem to be that bad of a cut. It just looked bloody since he was letting it get everywhere.

"Ouch! Let go. You are hurting me!" Edward almost yelled and I rolled my eyes as I pulled him towards the sink where I started to rinse out the wound. As I had predicted, it wasn't that bad at all.

"Damn it, that water is too cold. Make it warmer." He whined.

"Edward, it's just a little cut."

"Little! What the hell! Do you not see all this blood?"

I rolled my eyes again. "Yes I do. And it's all there since you forced it out with all your movements. All you had to do was put some pressure on the wound and it wouldn't even have gone that far."

"Whatever Isabella. You have no idea how much it fucking hurts."

"Why are you being such a baby? I thought you get into fights all the time. I'd think you got used to all the blood by now." I said as I wiped more blood away from his arm. He suddenly went rigid.

"How do you know I get in fights? Nothing's happened since you came here." He looked at me with hard eyes.

"Umm…the day we met…" I said cautiously but I didn't want to remind him too much of that day. Realization dawned on his features as he remembered how bruised he was that day from his bar fight and he nodded.

"That's different. There's an adrenaline rush and it's exciting. It's different when it happens like this."

I had been pressing on his wound for a while now so the bleeding had stopped. I removed my hand a little to see if a clot had formed and saw that it looked fine. I asked him to keep the pressure on as I looked for a band aid. I found a first aid kid and rummaged through it and found two sets of band aids. One set of normal ones that were skin colored and another set of Hello Kitty band aids, which I assumed were for Sophie.

I returned to Edward and asked him to hold out his hand. As I started to put the glittery pink band aid on him he snatched his hand back.

"Are you kidding me?"

"What?" I made my eyes all big and innocent. "I just grabbed the first ones I found to get back to you as soon as possible since you are clearly so distressed with all this."

"Go get a normal one." He ordered.

"I don't think so. I got you this one. Take it or leave it." I stood my ground. He finally gave in with a huff and held up his hand for me.

Carlisle cleared his throat from the doorway and Edward quickly pulled his hand away. The nurse had brought him down for dinner and Carlisle sat in his temporary wheelchair in the doorway while the nurse stood behind him.

Edward got all flustered and started speaking really quickly. "Dinner is almost ready. Um, we can eat soon I guess. Are you very hungry? I can get you an apple or something. Oh and by the way, I talked to Sophie and she is doing fine still. Jasper said she is still enjoying going around with Alice all over New York so they can stay there a bit longer." He rambled on at the speed of light as he quickly walked towards Carlisle.

Carlisle and I shared a look and I caught the twitch of his lips as he tried to control his amusement. I don't know what Edward's deal was, but I didn't see any reason for him to be so flustered. I was just putting on a band-aid on him, for god's sake.

Carlisle was looking much better today. He was still ruffled, there was still a lot of tiredness in his voice when he spoke and in his movements, but he was definitely getting better. Edward dismissed the nurse for the day and then went upstairs to clean up before dinner. Carlisle sat by the kitchen island and watched me intently as I set the table.

"He likes having a friend." He suddenly said out of nowhere and I put down the plate in my hand in its place on the counter as I looked up at him.

"I wouldn't say I'm his friend." I looked at the doorway once to gesture towards the direction Edward had left in.

"Would you like to be?" Carlisle asked and I looked at him in the eyes. His tired eyes contained nothing but curiosity. Ever the loving father, even in his sickness, he had apparently been watching Edward and I interact.

I shrugged. Everything about Edward was confusing. I didn't know what to make of his actions and words. Carlisle spoke then, as if he knew what I was thinking.

"I know he's rough around the edges, but he is lonely Isabella, just as you are. He has built a wall around himself to protect him from the harshness of the world and throws back a lot of harshness outwards, using offense as a defense. But he is lonely nevertheless and he doesn't usually let people in." He spoke slowly and in a weak voice but I could see that he really wanted to get this out so I let him.

" I can see that he trusts you." He said again and waited for me to look up before he continued.

"I don't want to interfere where there's no need but you two might actually enjoy each other's friendship if you can push past the roughness a little. This last week, you have been forced to do so because of me and see how far you have come already?"

I thought about this. Had Edward and I become friends? No. I didn't think so. We had merely come together for taking care of Carlisle. Although, I couldn't really ignore the fact that since we had stopped fighting last month, I liked his company. Of course, being isolated in the house, without Alice and Jasper and Sophie being present, it all felt kind of surreal and that made it easier.

Edward had a problem with his anger, but other than that, I liked him as a person. It was difficult for people to see his real self but he was very likeable if one saw past the harsh exterior he projected. He was honest about his feelings and was never scared of speaking his mind. He was loyal and genuinely devoted to his family. And this last week when we had been working together so much, I noticed that he and I shared a similar rhythm. We worked together seamlessly, without awkwardly bumping into each other or not knowing what to do. When we spoke, our conversation flowed easily when we allowed it to. I could see how if we had met under different circumstances we could in fact have been friends.

But we hadn't met under different circumstances. And we could only work with whatever hand we had been dealt with. And I realized as the three of us ate dinner that night that I was willing to make the best of our hand if Edward was.

**A/N: I know…two updates in a day…I have outdone myself this time. BUT, I have been bubbling with excitement about this chapter so my patience ran out. 13 chapters into the story, and they are FINALLY where I want them to be. Please tell me what you think. I am really looking forward to the next part of the writing. Oh, the possibilities…Any suggestions? I might use them as long as they are not cliché.**

**I was too eager to get this out so didn't have the patience to let Jamie work her magic. But I love my Beta to bits.**

**Special shoutout to YankeeDiva…I got the Hello Kitty band aid on him :D :D**


	14. Forget me not

"_**Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." **_

_~Nathaniel Hawthorne_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

My phone rang as I was in the shower and I ran out to get it. I frowned as I saw Edward's name flash on the display. We had exchanged numbers on the first day we had taken Sophie to the zoo so we would be able to locate each other if we got apart but none of us had ever called the other.

"Hello?" My voice sounded like a question.

"Er…hey." Edward's voice came from the other side.

"Hey."

" I just wanted to ask about Dad. He is not answering his phone."

"Oh yeah, I turned it off so he could rest. He ate and did his exercises then fell asleep. He's doing fine."

"Good. Ok then."

"Ok."

None of us said anything for a few seconds.

"Should I bring dinner?" he asked suddenly.

"No. I am going to make chicken pesto."

"Ok."

"Ok."

"Bye Isabella."

"Bye Edward."

I pulled the phone away from my ear and gave it a frown for a second. I turned off Carlisle's phone whenever he fell asleep. The people from his office never called now and it was usually only Edward calling to ask him about how he was doing when he was gone. But Edward usually just waited to ask how he was doing until he got home. He had never called me before.

After dinner last night Carlisle had fallen asleep pretty fast and I felt quite tired myself. So I had skipped playing the Cullens' gorgeous piano and gone straight to bed. This morning when I woke up and went to check on Carlisle he told me that there was an emergency at the office and Edward had to go to work. I said it was alright and asked Carlisle what he wanted for breakfast but he said Edward had already made sure he had eaten.

When I came into the kitchen to make something for myself I found a sandwich identical to the ones I usually made for lunch sitting on the counter. I smiled as I realized Edward must have made it and left it there before he left for work. It was his way of saying sorry for leaving me on my own for the day.

Carlisle and I walked around the garden that afternoon after lunch. Well I walked and pushed him around in his wheelchair that he was going to have while he recovered until his balance was better. He was doing increasingly better every day and I assumed that he would be done with his rehab routine pretty soon.

It was a very beautiful day as usual in California. The view of the ocean from the garden was as always breathtaking and I reveled in the warm breeze that blew my hair everywhere. I noticed an empty spot in the flower beds and frowned.

"What happened to the forget-me-nots?" I asked Carlisle. I spent quite a lot of time in this garden and knew the flower beds like the back of my hand. But the forget-me-nots were especially important to me.

"They died out last week. The landscaper said he tried to salvage them but they just withered. You like them?" He looked up at me from his chair.

I nodded my head. They were my favorites.

"They were Edward's mother's favorites." He said with a wistful look.

"Oh?" I looked down at him.

He held my gaze for a few seconds before he abruptly turned his head towards the ocean.

"I recall asking you about her when I was coming to after the surgery."

I kept looking at him to gauge his mood. He kept his eyes on the horizon. Then he looked back up at me.

"You said she was ok. That was kind of you. I needed to hear that."

I nodded and he turned to look at the ocean again.

"We met in college you know. We were both so young and naïve. But there was nothing naïve about what we felt for each other. There were never any theatrics in our relationship. I saw her across the quad and I knew that I had found my centre of gravity. And she knew too. We didn't need to speak much when we first started spending time with each other. It was all very instinctive, like our souls spoke to each other.

Our parents thought we were crazy but we couldn't wait to start the life that we could both see so clearly ahead of us, so we got married in the next spring. Ephraim was born the year after and Edward came on our last year of college. Money was never an issue so everyone just assumed that Lizzie was going to stay home with them after we graduated while I took over my father's business.

But my Lizzie was never what people thought she was. The depths of that woman were astounding. She went to medical school while Ephraim and Edward were toddlers. She juggled it all, being a mom, being my wife, being a medical student, then an intern and then her residency. She and I spent equal amounts of time at home to make sure the boys didn't feel neglected.

It was difficult, but it was ours. We created that life together and it was beautiful. Even the bad parts, the fights and the tears. They were just as beautiful as the boys' birthday parties or our Sunday morning pancake breakfasts. I remember the first time she came to this garden with her hands full of the blue forget-me-nots. I can still see her sitting there in her big sun hat, leaned over the ground and planting the flowers.

Ephraim was older so he was more independent but Edward was his mother's child all the way through. Would follow her absolutely everywhere. Would sit down in the music room while she played the piano for him. Helped her bake and arranged her medical journals in alphabetical order for her. She would take him to the hospital at times and he would sit at the nurses' station and draw while she ran around to her patients. When they would come home he would tell me stories of how his Mama had put a bandage on a sick girl and made it all better, and how he wanted to be just like her when he was big.

One day she came home and told us during dinner that she had to leave. Ephraim was seventeen and Edward was fifteen. She said she could not live this life any more. She wanted to be more than a mother and a wife and she wanted to see the world. She didn't want to stay bound to this one place.

When Lizzie left, Edward lost his sun and his moon. He lost the thing that was most important to him in the world. And he lost his faith in the good in people. While Ephraim just got angry with his mother and refused to face her after that, Edward did everything in his power to make her stay. He talked to her, tried to convince her, asked her why she had suddenly changed her mind about her family, he cried, he wept, he begged her to stay, and finally he begged her to take him with her. But she had made up her mind and no one could make her change it.

I did everything I could to hold the boys together but I failed them as a father. Ephraim retreated into himself while Edward became angry at the world. It took them years but both of them finally learned to except the reality of their lives. The boys had their grief but they took care of each other. Edward depended on Ephraim for support while Ephraim did a great job as being a big brother to Edward. He went on to play college football but Edward stayed quite isolated. After graduating, Ephraim married Annette and some of the lost light returned to this house after Sophie came.

We had almost started to feel like a real family again when Annette said she couldn't handle raising a baby and left. It was like we were back to that day when Lizzie had left all over again. Except this time, no one pleaded with anyone. We all sat back quietly as we watched her pack and leave without even saying goodbye to Sophie. The three of us together with Jasper and Alice had a hard time figuring out how to take care of a new born without her mother but ultimately we recovered and found our way back to some type of normalcy. A couple of years passed and we watched Sophie grow up into a little girl in front of our eyes. Then out of nowhere Ephraim was taken from us. He was hurrying home to make sure he got back in time to kiss Sophie goodnight and crashed with a truck."

He was quiet for a very long time before he finally looked at me.

"The reason I am telling you this is because yesterday I asked you to be Edward's friend and try to see past his rough exterior. And I don't think it is fair of me to expect that from you unless you know what my reasons are for asking you to condone his behavior. I am not saying that his harshness is acceptable, but I am saying that it is his way of dealing with all the loss he has had to deal with. He doesn't' know any other way and I as his father have failed to show him better."

I didn't know what to say. I was afraid I was going to break if I started to speak or looked at Carlisle. So I just put my hands on his shoulders and stood there.

He squeezed my hand on his shoulder. "Plant some more forget-me-nots Isabella. I'll ask Edward to bring you some."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Carlisle didn't have much appetite for dinner that night and I understood. So he had a bowl of soup and decided to go to sleep, and I let him without any argument. It had been a strange afternoon listening to the history of their family from Carlisle. More than ever, I felt Edward and Carlisle's pain in being let down over and over again by people they loved and their life.

I felt my tears running freely now that there was no one there to witness them. They ran while I prepared the chicken and chopped the leeks, and while I cooked the pasta to go with it. I felt sadness to the tips of my fingers for what these men had to deal with in life and I felt invalidated because no matter how badly I wanted to, I couldn't take away their pain.

For the thousandth time, I considered my options. Could I help them? Was it my place? Would they want that? And for the thousandth time, I went around in circles in my mind.

Out of nowhere, it started to feel extremely quiet in the big house. I had gotten used to having Edward around in the past days and especially when I was cooking. Together with the heaviness that weighed upon my heart that evening, I didn't feel like being on my own in this very kitchen where Lizzie had broken her family.

And Carlisle had done the right thing by telling me all that. Because if there was any doubt in my mind before, it was completely gone by now. I wanted to be Edward's friend. All the while Carlisle told me about their story, I could picture a young Edward having his world turned upside down and losing all his faith in the goodness in people. I could see him isolated for years on his own, taking one blow after another that life threw at him. I wanted to make some of his loneliness go away. And I wanted Edward to come home right then.

I kept preparing the food but kept glancing out the window to see if his car was coming up the driveway. Finally around 8 I heard the gravel crunch beneath the tires of his BMW and I quickly retreated to the other side of the kitchen to make sure he didn't catch me standing by the window.

"Hi!" His voice sounded a little loud and I turned around slowly, making sure he didn't think I was waiting for him or something. Because if I had learned anything about Edward Cullen, I knew that I had to take things slow.

"Hey." I said slowly. He held up a plastic bag in his hand.

"I brought dessert."

"Oh?" I turned around to the stove as I spoke. "Good thing I made enough for you then. I didn't know if you'd be joining us for dinner."

I glanced back at him and saw him visibly deflate from the excited look on his face. His face turned into a frown.

"Why wouldn't I be joining?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. I mean, it's not like you _have_ to be here for dinner or something."

His frown disappeared and he got a defensive look. "Do you not want me to be here for dinner?"

"NO!" I said too loudly then lowered my voice as I looked at him. "That's not what I meant. I…well, it's your house. Of course you should be here for dinner. If you want that is. I mean, it's not an obligation or anything. You know, just because I'm cooking. It's not like I expect you to show up or something. Because I put an effort. That doesn't really matter." Stop talking stop talking stop talking. I kept saying to myself. It wasn't working out all that well.

He smirked and a slow grin spread across his face. He left the kitchen and returned a few minutes later wearing his sweats.

"You need me to chop something?" He said as he walked into the kitchen.

"Um…no. I already chopped everything." I wasn't taking my chances this time. He looked kind of disappointed and looked around the kitchen to see what he could do.

"You can set the table." I said quickly before he got any bright ideas on his own. He nodded and started on his task.

While we ate I noticed that he looked quite tired. He had a hint of a stubble and dark circles under his eyes.

"Did you have a rough day?" I asked and he looked up at me with a little surprised expression.

"How can you tell?" He asked, genuinely.

I shrugged slightly. "You look tired."

"You mean I look bad?" He raised his eyebrows.

I smiled slightly. "No, of course not. I just mean tired."

He shrugged. "There was a lot to do."

"Are you going to go to work again tomorrow?" I asked and he looked up at me from his plate as he gauged my expression.

"No, I'll be home tomorrow."

I nodded my head and went back to the food.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"Would you take a quick look at this? I'm not sure if we should go forth with this." I handed him the folder and took the book he was reading from his hand. He was sitting propped up on the pillows by his headboard and reading War and Peace before I came in. I didn't want to bug him with work stuff now, but with Jasper gone too I needed a different set of eyes other than the dimwits at the office to throw a glance at the Copperfield file.

He took the file from me and nodded in understanding as he saw the file. I saw his eyebrows furrow slightly and his jaw lock in position as he turned the first page, transforming from Dad to Carlisle Cullen, the business tycoon. It was a little strange, to see him all crumpled up in his clothes and hair but get that look on his face that he only had when doing business and that look was almost always accompanied with a sharp suit. We always made it a point to not talk business at home too much so I rarely saw the Dad image and the Carlisle Cullen image blend together.

At that moment, however, it made me feel relief beyond words. Because this crumpled up image of my Dad after his stroke combined with his studious attention fixed on the papers in front of him meant that he was truly recovering and coming back to being his old self. I took a deep breath as I watched him and let it out slowly. An overwhelming feeling of gratitude washed through me as I realized that my fear at the hospital corridor that day – that I was going to lose him and l would truly have my only anchor taken away from me – was not going to come true.

I took another deep breath and walked over to the window as Dad read through the papers meticulously. I looked out to the ocean and let the deep blue sooth my eyes. Then a motion at the corner of my eyes caught my attention and I noticed Isabella slouched on the ground in the garden. She was holding a little spade in her hand and digging through a patch of soil. She was wearing khaki shorts and a black tank top and her hair was pulled back in a pony tail. I frowned as I realized that she had probably never done any gardening before and was definitely not dressed appropriately. She would get dirt all over herself and she needed to wear some protective gloves. She suddenly jumped a little and leaned backwards as a yellow butterfly came fluttering towards her out of nowhere and surprised her. She was so focused on digging through the ground that she was truly startled. I chuckled at her reaction.

"You like her." Dad suddenly said out of nowhere and I whipped my head towards him. He had put down the file on his lap and taken off his reading glasses, holding it between his fingers as he eyed me thoughtfully.

"What?" My voice was loud and sharp and incredulous. I felt irritation rise inside me immediately. I did not like that look in his eyes one bit. He gave it to me so rarely. He usually had a very complacent attitude towards anything I did and made it a point to not burden me with his thoughts and opinions on my actions unless he felt it absolutely necessary. But he would intervene when he thought it was necessary and then he always got that look in his eyes. Like he could see through me, like he knew every bit of me, which he did.

He put the file on his nightstand and leaned back on the headboard.

"You don't like people outside of this family. You don't trust them and you just tolerate them because you have to." He said and went quiet.

"Yeah, so?" I prompted him to continue. I didn't want this dragged out bullshit. He needed to cut to the chase.

"She's a doctor, Edward." And he did just that.

"Yeah, I know."

"She is a doctor and you Edward Cullen who can't even stand normal people for more than a few minutes to carry out a decent conversation with them have spent the past week cooped up in this house with her, taking care of your old man. I thought you were going to spend most of your time locked up in your room but you haven't done that."

"It would be rude to let her wander alone all the time."

"Since when do you care about being rude to people, let alone a doctor."

"She is here to help you. Even I'm not that big of a monster." I rolled my eyes.

"The Edward Cullen I know wouldn't accept anyone's help to take care of his father. Let alone a doctor. He wouldn't put that much trust on an outsider. "

I rubbed my face with my hands. "I needed a doctor to be here if I was going to bring you home. Otherwise you would have to stay at the hospital."

"You didn't need to socialize with the doctor."

"Are you saying you don't want me to?" I looked at him and gave him a meaningful look.

"I'm not saying anything Edward. I'm just stating facts."

He got up and came to stand next to me by the window. We both turned around to look at where Isabella was still digging.

"She is special; I saw that the first time I met her. But to you, she was only a doctor. And the two of you had a very rough start. Despite that, you made an effort to reach some sort of a peace agreement with each other. You have really put forth an effort to be civil in the past month and this week you have done much more than that. So I am saying that you must _like_ her quite a lot in order to be able to do that despite of your dislike for her profession."

I couldn't argue with any of what he had just said except one part.

"What do you mean by _like_?"

He tried to stop the knowing smirk spread across his face but the twitch of his lips gave him away. I glared at him to let him know I was serious and he straightened his features.

"I think you want to spend more time with her."

I was quiet.

"I think you like talking to her."

I was quiet.

"I think she makes you feel less lonely."

I blinked.

He stood there quietly watching Isabella along with me for a long time before I looked at him. He raised his eyebrows in question.

"There's nothing wrong with any of those things Edward. That's how friends make each other feel."

I turned my head towards Isabella again. Is that what she and I were becoming? I didn't have a reference point so I didn't know. I mean, the closest thing I had ever had to having a friend was Jasper but he was really much more of a brother than a friend. To me, the intrinsically necessary aspect of a friendship was the fact that it was a relation one chose to make. Whereas family was what it was, whether you liked it or not. And Jasper to me was just that. We were stuck with each other whether we liked it or not. And the same was true for Alice, and god was that statement true in her case.

But Dad was right. I had in fact chosen to let Isabella in. I couldn't pinpoint an exact time when it had happened, but it had. Perhaps it was when I had seen her vulnerable and crying in my New York apartment, or when I had seen her play with Sophie at some point, or perhaps the very first time she had taken Sophie in her arms when she was having a panic attack. Regardless of when it had happened, my fucked up mind had let her into my circle without me realizing it. Dad was right. I wasn't just spending time with her because of gratitude. I wanted to.

I realized dad was still staring at me but I didn't know what to say to him. It was what it was.

Isabella started planting the forget-me-nots that Dad had asked me to get yesterday into the ground that she had been digging. The two of us watched her in silence as she placed each plant into the ground and pressed down the soil around the roots to make sure they were stably placed. When she was halfway done the row of plants had reached close to the rose bush and when she reached out to get the spade she happened to stumble a little and grabbed hold of a brunch of the bush. Of course, she yelped and yanked her hand back, looking at it and then giving the rose bush a nasty glare.

"Oh, for the love of God…" I groaned and walked out of Dad's room as he watched me leave. I knew exactly the drawer in the walk-in closet downstairs where the things I was looking for were and I grabbed them before walking out into the back garden.

"Stupid thing," she mumbled at the rose bush as she examined the prick on her finger. She was standing with her back turned towards me and turned around when she heard my footsteps behind her.

"Hey," she said when she saw me but then frowned when she saw the annoyed look on my face.

"Here," I held out the gardening gloves to her. She eyed them like they were poisoned or something.

"Put these on before you cut off a fucking finger or something." I ordered and she gave me another dubious look before taking the gloves and putting them on. She threw me one more suspicious look before turning back and sitting back on the ground. She picked up the spade and dug some more then started placing the rest of the plants into the ground.

I stood there behind her with my hands in my pockets for a few moments and then suddenly felt like I was being watched. I looked up to the window where I had been standing a few minutes ago and saw Dad still standing there in the position I had left him in. He gave me a warm smile and then went back to watching Isabella work on the forget-me-nots.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Two more days had passed and Carlisle had made great progress. He was walking around the house more or less without any help from us although Edward and I were always there to make sure he didn't waver in his balance.

Something had shifted perceptively between Edward and me. I could see that we were both aware of the new dynamic in our relationship and we were both a bit unsure of whether or not this was a good thing. At the same time, we would both venture out into little pieces of conversation that were outside of our usual comfort zone, just to test the waters a little. To see how it felt to be a bit more friendly. We both, however, back paddled pretty fast each time, too scared to mess it up.

We did some exercises with Carlisle after lunch then he wanted to take a nap so we left the room. I went into my room and started sorting through all the laundry I had managed to gather when I heard a tap on my door. I opened it to see Edward standing in the hallway looking rather hesitant.

"What's wrong?" I asked immediately as I looked down the hall towards the stairway contemplating running to Carlisle's room to check on him.

Edward followed my gaze with confusion then returned his look to my face. "Um…I am going to the end of the estate to take a look at the cottage there. If you want to get out of the house and want to look around the woods you can come since I'm going anyways…" He trailed off and pointed with his thumb to the space behind him.

I was quite surprised by the fact that he had thought of asking me. This was one of those trying out the waters thing. I didn't delay in answering. "Sure. I'll be out in a sec."

We walked for a long time without any of us talking. There was nothing strained about the silence. I was thoroughly enjoying being outside, he was right, I had needed it. It was amazing walking through the little paths in the woods of the Cullen estate, with the wind whipping through my hair and hearing the sounds of the waves crashing a few hundred meters away. The only thing that was marring this perfect moment was the stink of Edward's cigarette but I obviously wasn't going to say anything to him about that.

Edward kicked a little stone out of the path and grumbled under his breath as he blew out smoke from between his lips.

"Fucking incompetent landscapers."

I rolled my eyes. "It's _nature_, Edward. It's alright if there are some stones on the path."

"Yeah well they don't get paid a fortune for leaving goddamn stones on the path that people can trip on."

I rolled my eyes and kept walking with a smile on my face because the place was one of the most serene locations I had ever been at and just being here was making me giddy. I saw Edward stealing glances at me and frowning in confusion at my genuine smiles.

"Why did you choose to become a doctor?" He asked suddenly out of nowhere. I couldn't look at him while I answered so I just kept my eyes on the path. I was silent as I thought about what to say.

"Why do you wonder?" I asked to stall answering.

"Because I don't understand why you would choose that profession. You are so different from them. The way you think…" He frowned a little.

"How do you know how I think?" I asked quickly.

"You are easy to read." He shrugged.

We fell into silence again and I hoped we had gone away from the discussion but he urged me again.

"Well?"

"I will tell you another time." I said as I picked up a stone and threw it out of the path. He frowned at me thoroughly this time but ultimately let it go.

"Why are you so angry with the world?" I asked after a few minutes of silence. Since we were diving to the heart of things and everything. I knew the answer to that question but I wanted to see if he would talk to me about it.

"I will tell you another time." He said with a smirk and a sly glance towards me.

I smiled. "Touché."

"I miss Sophie….and Alice. And Jasper." I said after some time of walking in silence again. I looked up at Edward and noticed the red tint in his hair that was accentuated by the little slants of sunlight that were penetrating through the canopy.

"You seem to have made quite good friends with the Diablo." He said while blowing out smoke from between his lips.

"Well, she can be a handful but she's not so bad once she puts the pitchfork down. Of course you wouldn't know that since the pitchfork is at its best every time you are around."

He snorted at this. "Yeah, no kidding. That little bundle of hell is all about making my life miserable."

"Hey, go easy on her. You are no better yourself. You provoke her too." I quipped back.

"It's not my problem that she can't stand being around me."

"That's not it, Edward. And you know that. She only gets annoyed when you throw a fit."

Then I snapped my mouth shut and waited for his fury to break loose. So much for the nice chat we were having. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes to gauge his reaction.

He had a crooked smile plastered on his face.

"Throw a fit? Is that what I do?"

I didn't answer him and just kept walking.

"That sounds like something a five year old would do."

I kept my mouth shut and avoided looking at him.

"This is the second time you have called me a baby, Isabella."

Ok, now he had teased me enough.

"Maybe I'll stop if you stop acting like one." I looked him square in the eyes as I said this and waited for his reaction, preparing myself for battle. He just smirked and kept walking.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I needed to pick out my wardrobe for the spring. I had a particular store that stocked a good Armani collection where I went down every season and picked out whatever I wanted. Then we had some fitting and everything waited for me at home when I got back. It was usually something Dad and I did together and we gave each other opinions on the clothes. I know, it sounds girly. But it was our thing and we did it in a very manly way. We always smoked cigars afterwards.

Jessica , one of my secretaries, told me that I had my appointment at the Armani store at 11 am today and I called Dad's phone to ask him if he was up for it.

"You know what, I actually woke up feeling quite tired today. I think I'll skip it this time Edward." Dad said on the other end of the phone, and I frowned because I had seen him this morning and he didn't look tired at all.

"You ok? Do you want me to come home?" I asked with a frown.

"No, no. I'm just going to rest. And the nurse is here too."

"Grandpa, plaaaaaaay." I heard Sophie's voice in the background.

"Dad, you shouldn't be playing with her if you're tired."

"It's fine. I missed her a lot. And besides, I'm never too tired to play with my Sophiekins." He said the last part in a goofy voice and I heard Sophie giggle.

"Ok, well I'll ask them to reschedule. We'll go next week."

"No, don't reschedule on my behalf. Your suits have been looking a little gruffy lately. Go."'

"You know I can't decide on my own." I groaned.

"Well, take someone else." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, because this whole place is just crawling with people that I want to spend time with. And don't say take Alice because I will end up snapping her neck if she tries to make me wear one of those ridiculous shirts that she picks out for Jazz."

"Sophie, darling, stop cheating. It's not a nice trait." He said away from the phone but then his voice returned. I smirked as I felt proud of something that the kid had gotten from me.

"Ask Isabella." He said in a casual tone.

I stopped fiddling with the pen in my hand and the line went quiet for a few seconds.

I thought about this. She had gone back to her apartment last weekend. Other than his fatigue, Dad was more or less recovered but I had insisted he stay home for at least another week before coming back to work. Dad had insisted she not waste any more time on taking care of him now that he was better and she had gone back home. She had decided to take the next part of her rotations here in LA and my family was obviously overjoyous to say the very least. She and Dad talked on the phone all the time and she took a daily inventory of everything he was doing and what he was eating and stuff. Alice and Jasper returned with Sophie in the weekend and were helping out a lot at home, taking care of both Dad and Sophie.

Things had more or less returned to normal, except I had a problem. For the two weeks since Dad had come back home from the surgery I had spent a ridiculous amount of time with Isabella, taking care of Dad, cooking together, playing that ridiculously idiotic board game, walking around the woods. We had been eating three meals a day together and whether consciously or unconsciously, spending every free moment together. I had just started to get to know more about her and then out of nowhere it was all gone. She had gone back home and we no longer had any reason to communicate. The easy comfort that we had developed at the house was not weird because we had to be there anyways, so we rationalized all the time we spent together by making it seem like we were just making the best out of the situation.

The only problem was that after all these years of being on my own, I had enjoyed having someone to talk to. It didn't matter what we talked about, I just liked having the company. I liked not having to eat dinner by myself when I came back from work and everyone else had already eaten, because she always waited until I got back to eat.

"Edward?" Dad asked after I had been quiet for a while.

"Yeah."

"It was just a suggestion. She has been asking about you and wondering how you are. So I thought this might give her the opportunity to ask you herself."

She might just have been doing that to be polite. What if she was sick of spending all that time with me and just wanted to be left alone? I knew by now that I wanted to be her friend, but did she want to be mine?

"Well, she's probably at work anyways." I said.

"No she's not. She has the morning off. I just talked to her a few minutes ago."

I ended the conversation with Dad and then sat in my chair for a few minutes thinking about whether or not this was a good idea. Then suddenly I realized what a pussy I was acting like. What the fuck! All I wanted was some help with shopping. It wasn't the end of the world!

She answered after 4 rings.

"Hello?" She panted.

"Hi. It's me…um…Edward?" I scrunched up my face at the end as I said my name. It was weird after spending all that time together, but we had only spoken on the phone once before and I would be very pissed in case she didn't recognize me.

"Hi!" Her voice went a bit high pitched and I felt a bit relieved. At least she didn't sound annoyed that I had called.

"Hey. Is this a bad time?"

"No, not at all. Everything ok?" She asked in a casual tone, like we talked on the phone all the time.

"Yeah. Everything's fine. Dad has been doing great."

"I know. I talked to him just a few minutes ago. He says the fatigue is wearing off too."

"Yeah it is."

We were both quiet for a few seconds and it became awkward. I kind of regretted making the call at that point and decided to end the conversation but then she spoke.

"How have you been doing?" Her tone was cautious.

"I'm…fine. Busy at work."

"I see. It must be nice having Sophie back home, right?"

"Yeah….oh yeah, definitely. I was worried she wouldn't have liked being away for so long but she had a good time."

She chuckled. "Yeah, she has been telling me all about her trip and all the things she and Alice did together. Oh and I asked if there was a Gucci purse but she said there wasn't any. I didn't mention it to Alice though. Don't want to give her too many ideas."

"No, don't. That little she-devil has enough evil ideas of her own."

Then there was silence again. Damn, there were a lot of those lately. I mentally bitch-slapped myself for being such a pussy again and made myself speak up.

"So..um…do you need some clothes or something?" I asked.

"What? No…why?" She sounded confused.

"I thought girls always need clothes."

"Um…ok…I guess we do." She said in an unsure voice.

"Well then, there you go."

"Ok…" She dragged out the word.

"I'm going to go and pick some suits for myself. You can come and get some clothes yourself too if you want."

She was quiet for a long time and I finally got tired of waiting.

"Isabella?"

"I don't understand." She spoke with complete honesty and I frowned.

"What's not to understand?"

"You are going to pick out some suits for yourself, right?"

"Yes."

"What does that have anything to do with me picking out clothes for myself?"

"You don't have to pick out clothes for yourself if you don't want them. It's a free country." I offered.

"Why would _I_ go then?" Now she sounded really confused.

"Because you will help me pick out my suits."

"Oh." And then she was quiet again as she thought about something.

"Why don't you go with Alice. She has much better…wait, don't answer that. Never mind." Pause. "Who usually helps you pick out clothes?"

"Dad does."

"Oh."

Then I heard her chuckle.

"You and Carlisle go shopping together?" I could hear the damn smile in her voice.

"Yeah we do. Is that a problem?" I growled.

"No no, no problem." She backtracked. Good for her. Then after a few moments of silence I heard her chuckle again. I bet she was still finding the idea of me and Dad shopping together funny.

"Look, are you coming or not? I haven't got all day."

She chuckled again. "Sure Edward. I'll go with you. When?"

"Now. Get ready, I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Wow, you don't waste any time, do you."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

True to his words he pulled up with his black Bentley exactly twenty minutes after we ended our conversation. I was wearing a pair of casual jeans and a tank top with my hair pulled back in a pony tail and all of a sudden felt a little underdressed to get into his luxurious car. And that feeling definitely increased tenfold when I saw Edward in his dark grey power suit behind the wheel.

I didn't let him get out of the car before I jumped into the passenger seat.

"Hello again." I said and he mumbled a hello back before putting his sunglasses back on and taking off.

We pulled up to a stone building with no big sign on the outside that would say that it was a store. A very sophistically dressed woman named Samantha met us at the car and escorted us through the dark glass doors that were locked to the public and into an enormous brightly lit room colored in shades of off white and beige. There were crystal chandeliers on the ceilings and glass showcases with very expensive looking jewelry displayed all around the room. The walls of the room were filled with rows and rows of suits. I had no idea that suits ever came in that many colors or shades or styles. I looked down at my clothes that were definitely not suitable for being in a place like this. I chuckled to myself when Samantha greeted me with so much respect and all because of the big powerful guy that I was accompanying whereas they probably wouldn't even let me through the doors if I had come in alone. This world of ours worked in very strange ways.

"Mr. Cullen, it's been so long since you paid us a visit. It really is wonderful to see you here again." Samantha spoke in a polished voice and followed Edward around like a puppy as he walked around and picked up random suits that he all but practically threw into the rack she was pulling with her. The poor woman barely kept up with his speed and tried her best to catch all the suits he threw at her without even looking in her direction.

After the rack was full with about 30 or so suits he stopped.

"We will take a second look through those and narrow it down. Could you get us something to drink?" He looked through the suits in the rack as he talked to her.

"Yes, of course Mr. Cullen," she quickly scurried away to get his drink.

Edward turned to look at me sitting on an expensive looking designer chair. He caught my amused smile and raised his eyebrows. "What?"

I shook my head from side to side.

"Are you going to help or what?"

"Right." I jumped out of the chair and went to the rack. "So what exactly do you want me to do?"

"Pick out some you like."

I went through the rack and picked out 5 different suits and handed them to him. He looked at each one and gave me a look that said he was impressed. He put four of them aside and returned one of them to the rack. Then he gestured towards the rack again, asking me to continue. So I picked out another five and he again kept 3 of them and put the other ones back.

Samantha returned then holding a silver tray with two tall glasses of champagne. She handed one to Edward who took it mumbling a thanks to her. She started to hand me the other one and I shook my head.

"Thanks, I'm good." I said to her.

Edward gave me a look. "It's too early and I have to go into work after lunch." I explained.

"Get her a non-alcoholic one." He said to Samantha and I rolled my eyes internally at his stand-offish attitude towards her. We were no longer cooped up in the Cullen mansion and the beast had officially resumed his duties.

She returned with some sort of non-alcoholic drink that tasted like berries and I took it and sipped slowly to save her from further attacks.

Edward held up a shirt and asked her if she had it in sapphire. She scurried away to get it and Edward went on holding shirt after shirt in front of his chest in the mirror and tossing them one way or another.

She returned with a shirt and handed it to him and he glared at her. "I said sapphire. This is navy blue."

"Mr. Cullen, that's the only shade of deep blue we make."

"Then make another shade." He growled as he handed the shirt back to her. I rolled my eyes at what a brat he was.

After another half hour of Edward huffing and puffing at Samantha about her incompetence while the poor woman did everything in her power to please him, we left the store with Edward having picked out 23 suits, 19 shirts, 15 pairs of dress pants and a bunch of accessories and ties and stuff. He asked me a couple of times if I wanted something but I graciously declined his offer as I watched how rich people shopped while sipping my drink.

We drove in silence across town with the radio playing and the two of us listening to a talk show where a celebrity guest was discussing his charity organization.

"You can stop by the diner right there. I'll just grab lunch before my shift starts." I said and pointed at the diner across the street from the hospital where I ate lunch every day. He nodded and drove where I pointed.

"Thanks for your time." He said as he pulled up in front of the diner.

"No problem. It was fun watching you shop." I said with a smile and hoped he didn't hear any teasing in my voice.

I got out and looked back at the car to see that he was still sitting there. And then something occurred to me. I bent down and knocked on the window. He rolled it down with raised eyebrows.

"You wanna eat with me?" I asked. He had made a step forward today by asking me to go shopping. This was _my_ step forward.

"There?" He asked while nodding towards the diner with distaste in his eyes. I looked back at it once to see what was so bad about it then turned to him again.

"Yeah. It's no Chic but they make a killer garden burger."

He looked at the diner for a few seconds and I rolled my eyes. "C'mon, Edward. I'll ask them to sanitize our table and everything." I waved him over with my hand then turned around and walked into the diner, hoping he'd follow. Once I got inside, I went to my usual booth and sat down. It was a pretty modest place, with burgundy booths and light brown tables. The windows were large and let plenty of sunshine in and the service was nice.

Edward finally came into the diner and it was quite comical really. Edward in his power suit in this modest place, mostly filled with hospital employees, stood in stark contrast to his surroundings. Also, the fact that he was looking around like he was afraid to touch anything lest he get attacked my an army of germs wasn't helping. He and Alice were really similar in that way. They hated any place that didn't look like it was only suitable for celebrities and I actually felt quite proud of myself because I would never manage to talk Alice into following me to a place like this.

Edward looked around the place and his rigid posture relaxed slightly when he located me. I waved him over and pointed to the seat opposite to me. He threw a dubious glance at the booth then sat down.

"Hi Dr. Swan! The usual?" Annie, a cheerful blond waitress who was trying to become an actress and who usually served me luch came up to our booth. Her eyes went a little wide as soon as her eyes fell on Edward sitting opposite from me in the booth. "Oh, hi there!"

Edward glanced at her and murmured a hello.

"Sorry I didn't see you there. I'm used to serving Dr. Swan for one every day."

"It's alright." He mumbled again and gave me a weird look.

"I'll have the garden burger and a Coke, Annie. Thanks." I said without glancing at the menu. I knew it by heart. Edward ordered the same and Annie gave me a raised eyebrow and a wink before walking away.

Edward wiped the table with his napkin before putting his elbows on it. "Really Isabella? You can't find a better place to eat?"

"I eat here everyday. It's not so bad." I said with a wave of my hand. He looked around himself for a while, like he had come to another planet or something. I watched him while he watched the people around him and finally he turned towards me after he seemed to have had enough of watching his surroundings.

"So why'd she say she serves only you everyday?" He asked.

I shrugged. " 'Cause I eat by myself."

He looked at me levelly. "Don't you have anyone to eat with at work?"

I shrugged again. "I haven't really made too many friends at work."

He nodded. "Because you spend all your time with us."

Then he added as an afterthought. "It's better that way actually. You spend enough time with those messed up fuckers anyways. "

I chuckled at this then changed the subject. "Well, I don't really mind eating by myself. I'm used to it." Then I turned the conversation towards him. "Do you, Jasper and Carlisle lunch together when you're at the office?"

"Not Dad. He is usually too busy. Jasper and I eat lunch together whenever we can."

I nodded my head.

We ate our burgers and talked a little about Carlisle's health and what routines he should adopt when he started working. We agreed that he needed to take it easy and Edward talked about taking care of more things at the office on his own to let Carlisle relax.

Annie came back repeatedly to ask if we needed anything and I noticed that she was trying to get an idea about what exactly was going on between Edward and me. I didn't blame her. I went from eating on my own while reading a book every day for more than two months to having a guy that looked and dressed like a movie start sit across the booth and enjoying a garden burger right along with me.

When we were done Edward asked for the check and Annie looked at me. I smiled at her and told her to put it on my tab as usual. Edward gave me an incredulous look, like his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

"What?" I asked with a chuckle.

"You are kidding me right? There is no fucking way you are paying for my lunch, Isabella."

I chuckled again at the serious look of indignation on his face. "Calm down, Edward. It's not a big deal. I'm happy to."

"I don't care." He raised his hand and started to gesture towards Annie to come over again but I stopped him.

"Edward, come on. I am too scared to even start to think of how much money you guys have spent on me. Let me feel like the one getting to pay for at least once."

He lowered his hand and gave me a skeptical look.

"It would be my pleasure to pay for your lunch." I said with all honesty. He frowned a little but relented.

We walked out to his car and I started walking towards the hospital as he started to get into his car.

"Isabella?" He called from behind me and I turned around to see him standing there holding on to the door.

"Yeah?"

"Do you really not mind eating alone?" He asked and I took a deep breath at how raw and honest his question was.

I couldn't lie to him when he was being that honest. So I just kept looking at him without saying anything.

"You could ask Alice to come and eat with you. It's really our fault anyways …" He said and there was nothing patronizing or any pity in his tone. He was talking in a matter of fact way. He had located a point that he could help me with and was offering his assistance. I shook my head.

"She already does enough."

He nodded like he understood what I meant.

Then he shrugged slightly and looked away. "You could ask me."

I kept looking at him. "You have better things to do with your time." I spoke with all honesty. As kind as his offer was and as much as I would have liked to have this opportunity to spend more time with Edward, I knew who he was and how valuable his time was.

His head snapped towards me and his eyes were wide with surprise, like he couldn't believe what I had just said. His face looked angry for a second then he made himself calm down. He put his sunglasses back on and started getting into the car.

"I'll see you tomorrow at 12, Isabella." He closed the door and looked out the window at me once. I bit down my lower lip to stop the smile that was threatening to spread across my face. He shook his head and muttered something to himself as he drove off down the street.

Every time I would think back to that moment in the future, I knew that was the moment when our friendship had started. Because for the first time, we had both taken a leap and agreed to meet not because there was a reason or because we needed to. We were going to meet because we wanted to. Edward and I stood in front of the diner and each made our choice that day.

**A/N: So…the beauty and the beast are going to be friends. What do you think of that? Also, now that Daddy C has so graciously given y'all the back story, can you see why Edward might have turned out the way he did? And can you guys see where Daddy C and Jasper's patient yet firm tolerance of Edward's behavior even when he's being an ass extraordinaire (as my Beta so eloquently put it) is coming from?**

**p.s. I didn't send out teasers for the last chapter because I was planning on putting this one up so soon anyways. It felt kinda redundant. I think I'll stick to that as a rule of thumb. I'll send out teasers when I expect at least a few days of delay between updates. Sound good?**


	15. Bonds between friends

"_**The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough." **_

~Rabindranath Tagore

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

_Three weeks had passed._

"No, Isabella. You are going to tell me right this moment what the hell you are up to." Alice snatched the book out of my hands that I was trying to pretend reading to avoid her inquisition and I saw from the look in her eyes that she meant business. I looked towards Jasper for some help but the coward focused on his X-box more than ever.

I sighed and sat up properly on the couch. I guess Alice and I were having this talk now.

I was just changing my scrubs and getting ready to leave the hospital when I got Alice's call earlier this evening. She was being extra nice and her voice was a little too chipper for my liking as she invited me to dinner. I smelled something fishy but knew that I didn't really have much of a choice since she would just come over and kidnap me if I didn't show up on my own. So I showed up at their door with a suspicious feeling which was confirmed as Alice launched into full attack mode as soon as she opened the door. Ever since I have been trying to dodge her questions and ease her into things gradually but she wasn't having any of that.

"I'm not up to anything Alice. For the thousandth time, we are friends." I said with a whine and she put her hands on her hips.

"Look, the first week when Jasper told me that Edward had been at the hospital to have lunch with you almost every day I let it go, thinking he had gotten some sense into that thick head of his and was making amends since you helped out with Carlisle so much. I didn't even say a word when you didn't tell me anything because I figured it must not have been important enough to you to mention. But imagine my surprise when two more weeks have passed and Jasper is asking me if I want to go see the Da Vinci exhibit with Edward and Isabella. _Edward and Isabella_!" She said the last part in a high shrieking voice that made me flinch.

I gave Jasper a blank look. "Really? You couldn't have phrased it in another way?"

The coward just shrugged. Alice ignored our little exchange and continued her rant with her arms flailing all over the place.

"Since when do we go out with _Edward and Isabella_! Doesn't anyone here see just how messed up that is!"

"Alice…" I started with a sigh but got cut off.

"I mean, what the hell, Isabella. I go away to New York for two weeks and come back to find you all cozy with His Highness the Prince of Darkness."

Jasper put down his controller and turned towards us. "Babe, Isabella is a big girl. Maybe we should let her make her own decisions and trust that she knows what she is doing."

"The hell, Jasper! She is my friend and I love her. I will not sit back and watch her get dragged into that black hole."

Jasper's face went a little rigid then. "She is my friend too, Alice."

Alice threw up her hands in the air in surrender. "Then act like it Jazz. You know him. You know he will poison her life with his darkness."

Jasper looked at me now as he spoke. "Or maybe she will bring light into his."

Alice's face went red with anger now as she gritted out the next part through her teeth. "We will find someone else to do that. Not her, Jasper. She doesn't need this."

I got up from the couch and wrapped my arms around Alice, hugging her from her side. She just stood there with her arms crossed, not looking at me.

I looked at Jasper and spoke to him while I still held on to Alice. "There will be no exchanging of any kind of darkness or light." Then I turned to Alice and hugged her tight.

"First of all, you are making this sound way more dramatic than it is. We really are just trying to be friends, Alice. Just spending time together that would otherwise be spent alone for both of us – "

She cut me off before I could finish. She turned her head towards me and her eyes pleaded with me.

"But you have me. You don't need him for that. I'll spend more time with you, Isabella. You don't know, there is so much in his past, he can't help it. He _will_ poison your life."

I let go of her shoulders but held one of her hands in both of mine. I sat down on the armrest of the couch while she stood above me, and looked up at her as I spoke.

"I _know_ all about his past Alice. Believe me, I know."

Both her and Jasper looked at me with wide astonished eyes.

"Carlisle told me everything." I said and waited a few moments for them to digest this.

"Everything? His mom? Annette? All of it?" Alice kept asking and I kept nodding after each question.

"So you see, I do know what I am getting myself into. And it really isn't a big deal." Alice didn't seem convinced and I realized I would have to explain more to her.

"I know Edward is rough on the exterior Alice, but I got to see what he is like without that when you guys were gone and in the last three weeks after that. And I like who he is behind his rough parts. Just like you guys do. And I also know that part of him is lonely, just like I am. And in the same way that you guys offered me your friendship to take away a bit of that loneliness, I am offering Edward mine."

Jasper looked at me with eyes that told me they understood and that were grateful. Alice's expression softened a bit and I saw my chance. I got up and looked her in the eye while I held her hands in both of mine between us.

"I know you are worried because you love me. And I promise you, I know what I'm doing. Just trust my judgment like Jasper and Carlisle are doing. Everything will be fine."

She looked at me for a long moment with narrowed eyes then finally let out a long breath. "Fine, but just to be clear, I am not happy about this."

I smiled and kissed her cheek. "I wouldn't dream of it being any other way."

And I hadn't. I knew Alice was going to freak out and it was only a matter of time. In fact, it was the first thought in my head when Edward had offered to show up again after the second time we had lunch at the diner. But then I figured I liked having lunch with Edward and Alice was just going to have to deal with it.

And we had lunch. Every single day. True to his words, Edward had been waiting for me outside the diner at 12 the day after we had gone shopping. And although at first he had insisted that we go somewhere "proper" to eat, I had told him that if he was going to have lunch with me then the diner was the only place we would be at. He had huffed and puffed then relented.

We didn't talk much during lunch that day and I had Annie put the check on my tab again. This time however Edward wouldn't hear any of it and thrust a 100 dollar bill into Annie's hands before leaving.

When we were saying goodbye outside by his car he said he'd be there at 12 again the next day and I told him that he could only do so under the condition that he let me pay for lunch. He must have seen the determination in my face because he didn't argue then or when I paid for lunch for both of us ever since.

As the days passed, we said more and more to each other during lunch. It was weird at first because we had been able to talk much more back at the mansion when we had taken care of Carlisle, but out here, in the real world, we seemed to be starting afresh. And in a way we were indeed starting fresh.

After the first couple of times we both stopped discussing whether or not we'd meet the next day when we said our goodbyes and just showed up at the diner for lunch every day. For some reason neither of us mentioned anything about it to the family at first. Probably because we knew that if we were going to get anywhere we needed to be left alone for a while, without the influence of all the rest of them.

Jasper was the first to figure out something was up when Edward kept disappearing for lunch every day. He then told Alice and Alice of course told Carlisle. But to their credit, they had all let us be for a while. The first weekend after our lunch meetings had started I was working so I didn't meet the family. Then last weekend when we met at the Cullens', Edward and I kind of went back to being a bit reserved in front of everyone, even though they all knew that we must be a bit more friendly than that since we met every day. But it felt kind of strange to be switching to our lunch-mode in front of everyone else so we both kept that up, and no one said anything and let us be. Edward stayed in his room most of the evening while Alice, Sophie and I played dress up and Jasper and Carlisle watched TV. Later in the evening though, Edward came down to the music room after I started playing the piano and read there while I played.

Our lunch meetings were…well…interesting. Every day like clockwork Edward would be standing outside the diner with his hands in his pockets when I came for lunch. He asked me about things like life in Seattle, why I chose the medical school I went to, about my parents, just facts like that. I, in return, asked him about his work and tried to understand as he explained things about stocks and finances (and watched him get frustrated at my inability to keep up and understand), about his interest in photography, about Sophie when she was younger, about how it was growing up with Jasper and Alice and what kind of things they did when they were younger. I always made sure to stay clear of sensitive topics and I noticed that he appreciated that. I did however tell him what Carlisle had told me about his past and he thanked me for telling him.

And we fought. Of course. Quite often. About which booth to sit in (he didn't like the one that I usually sat in, since it was too close to the kitchen and made his suit smell like food), about whether or not Alice was the she-devil reincarnated, about Edward trying to slip a hundred dollar bill to Annie when I wasn't watching. Or at any other occasion when Edward decided to throw a fit. The usual.

To his credit, he hadn't thrown _that_ many these past weeks. Really, yesterday's was probably the worst one associated with one of our lunch meetings.

It was 12.15 and I had been sitting in a meeting for the interns that had started an hour ago. It was supposed to have ended half an hour ago but was dragging on because the resident who was talking to us about hematological disorders was apparently very passionate about what he did and couldn't keep track of time. It felt rude to leave in the middle of the meeting so I just sat there although I was quite restless.

Then I heard his voice muffled by the door but I was pretty sure it was him. I couldn't make out the words but I recognized the tone. Angry and annoyed and hating the place he was at. I jumped out of the seat and everyone in the room glared at me but it couldn't be helped_. "I'm only doing this for your own good people. Trust me, you don't want him to come in here,"_ I thought to myself as I gave the room an apologetic look and slipped out the door.

Sure enough, Edward was standing by the nurses' station with his back to me, yelling at one of the nurses.

"You people might not need it since you are the living dead and all, but she actually needs to eat, like the rest of us normal fuckers." He growled at her and the nurse looked at him like he had two heads.

"Look, Sir, we are not holding her hostage. The doctors are in a meeting and I cannot tell you which room it is since you are not allowed in there. I'm sure Dr. Swan will be out any minute now."

"You tell me right now where she is or so help me I will tear this whole goddamn – " I ran up to them and called out to him before he finished that sentence.

"Edward!"

He whipped around and faced me.

"What the hell, Isabella! I've been waiting for god knows how fucking long!"

I tried to resist rolling my eyes. "You waited for 15 minutes and I'm sorry. My cell phone is in my locker so I couldn't let you know I was running a little late."

"Why did you leave your fucking phone in the locker?" He was still angry and his voice was quite loud and attracting everyone's attention.

"Edward, lower your voice." I hissed.

He glared at me then turned around and left the room.

I followed after and found him standing outside the diner across the street.

Both of us seemed to cool down while we waited for our orders. Annie finally brought our garden burgers and fries out and placed an empty plate between us as we usually asked for. Edward and I didn't talk yet but like everyday he picked out the tomatoes in his side salad and placed them on the plate while I picked out the olives in mine and placed them there. He then picked up the olives I placed on the plate and moved them to his plate while I did the same to the tomatoes he had placed on the plate. In the first week since we started eating together, we had noticed that he hated the tomatoes and I hated the olives and we each tended to leave them on our plates at the end of lunch. So we just decided to exchange those so we didn't waste food. Of course, we could just have asked them not to put those things in our salads, but this way worked too.

"I am sorry you had to wait." I said while I dipped a fry into some ketchup.

"It's ok." He said without looking up.

"Edward?" I waited for him to look up before I continued. "They are going to fire me if you come into the hospital and yell at the staff because I'm sitting in a meeting."

"I'd like to see them try." He said with confidence in his voice.

"What are you going to do? Bully them into keeping me? Because you've already used up the "donating a wing" card."

"I can just buy the whole dump." He said with a shrug and in a matter-of-fact way that made me realize he wouldn't think twice before doing something like that. Needless to say, I dropped the topic to avoid the risk of him following through with his words just to prove his point.

"Sophie called and asked if we could go to the zoo again this weekend." I told him after a few minutes.

"No, not this weekend. I'll talk to her." He said.

"Why not this weekend?" I asked.

"Because we have other plans." He said while he mixed the dressing into his salad. A few months ago, I would have thought he meant that him and the family had other plans, but right then, I didn't know if he meant "we" as in him and the family or "we" as in him and the family and me or "we" as in him and me.

He paused for a few seconds then looked up at me. "Are you working Friday night?"

"No." I answered.

"Good, we are going to the Da Vinci exhibit." He said as he kept eating his salad.

"Who's we?" I asked.

"Me and the ninja turtles. Who do you think?"

"So, you and me?" I asked to be clear.

"Is that a problem?" He glanced up at me once.

"No, not a problem. But maybe we can ask Alice and Jasper too." I said while I ate my salad.

"You have something against being seen with me alone?" I looked up to see him quirking an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, huge problem." I rolled my eyes. "No, because Alice will wonder where I am and this way she won't make a big deal out of it."

"I don't give a fuck what she thinks." His irritation flared and I ignored it.

"I know that. But I do."

He looked at me for a second before shrugging. "I only got two tickets anyways."

"You'll get two more." I said without breaking my gaze.

His eyes widened a little. "Who the fuck died and made you my boss all of a sudden?"

"No one. I think I was born that way." I shrugged and speared my lettuce.

I chanced a peek at him while I tried to contain my smile and caught his lips twitching. _I managed to get a twitch._ _Yes! _I had been trying to make the boy laugh for weeks now but it was useless. It just didn't happen. There were the evil laughs when he amused himself with something, but never the genuine kind, like the one I had seen at New York when he had witnessed me fall on my ass. But I had been getting more and more twitches with my quirky humor lately and I think I even saw a real smile once. I can't be totally sure but it is a possibility. I was getting there.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

_One more week passed._

We were all sitting in the Cullen living room watching TV. Alice and Jasper were huddled together in one of the one-sitters while Carlisle and I sat on either side of a long couch with Sophie between us. Well, she was actually mostly taking up most of the space on my side of the couch, pressing her body on my side and playing with a doll in her lap.

We were waiting for Edward to bring dinner so we could eat and pretty soon I heard the gravel crunch under the tires of his car.

"Edwarrrrrrrrrrrrrrddddd!" Sophie shrieked and jumped up and ran to the door to greet Edward as soon as he came in and his face lit up like a Christmas tree at her excitement in seeing him.

He put away some of the food in his arms on the side table at the entrance before picking her up in his arms. "_Bonsoir Princesse_," he said before beaming at her and there was the happiness I had been hoping to see in his face for weeks now. I didn't realize I was smiling at the two of them until my eye caught Alice's and I saw her give me a strange look. I rolled my eyes and ignored her.

Edward came into the room with Sophie in his arms.

"_Qu'est-ce que tu a fait aujourd'hui_?" He sat down on the couch across from me and Carlisle with Sophie in his arms as he asked her about what she had been doing today.

Sophie started listing all the things she had done and Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out my cell phone and tossed it towards me across the room. I reached up with my hands and caught it and mouthed a "thank you" to him while he nodded while listening to Sophie complaining about what a pain Tinker had been earlier when she tried to give her a bath. I caught Jasper giving me a weird look and I told him that my phone was acting weird all week so Edward was getting some guy at their office to fix it for me.

Alice got up and took the food that Edward had brought and went to the kitchen to set the table while the rest of us stayed in the living room.

She called for us when the food was ready and Sophie sprinted out of the room followed by Carlisle and Jasper. Edward was taking off his tie and getting up from the couch while I was picking up some of Sophie's toys from the floor.

"Did your meeting go ok?" I asked about the meeting he had mentioned during lunch that he was a bit stressed about.

"No, the fuckers want too much money. I am going to have to get Dad involved in it." He said as we filed out of the living room.

"Did you have to stay later than when your shift ended again?" He asked when we were in the foyer.

"Nah, just about half an hour or so. It wasn't a big deal." I said as we came into the kitchen. I went to sit on one corner of the island where Alice had set the table with Sophie on my side. Edward sat opposite from us and reached for the salad bowl.

He groaned when the bowl was in front of him. "Oh for the love of…I told them not to put olives in the salad." He started to pick olives out of the salad and threw them with a fair amount of force into a dish.

"Since when did you develop such an aversion to olives?" Carlisle asked as he warily watched Edward's hands angrily throwing olives into the dish.

Edward just finished picking out all the olives and then passed the salad around the table, starting with Jasper. Jasper and Alice both gave me a knowing look. They had been to enough restaurants with me to have heard me asking for no olives when I placed orders. Finally Carlisle finished serving himself salad and handed the dish over to me. I looked at Edward as I thanked Carlisle.

We started eating and Carlisle, Jasper and Alice started discussing plans for the coming weekend, while Edward was thumbing through his phone, reading the news I would assume. I noticed that he had pushed the tomatoes to a corner of his plate. Why didn't he ask them to take those out too? Alice, Jasper and Carlisle were still deep in conversation so I reached out with my fork towards his plate.

"Here…" I said as I speared a tomato and brought it over to my plate. Edward looked up at me from his phone once then just moved his arm away to give me more space. So I speared the rest of the tomatoes on his plate and brought them over to mine.

After I had transferred the last piece of tomato to my plate I realized that the room had suddenly gotten very quiet and I turned my head to find three pairs of eyes alternating glances between me, Edward and our plates. Edward also noticed the silence after a few moments and looked up from his phone just as he was putting a piece of chicken into his mouth.

He saw them staring at us too and his look turned into an angry glare. "Vwat? Iv there a ploblem?" he asked them with his mouth full of chicken. No one said anything and just went back to their plates.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

_Another week passed._

We had finished eating dinner that Edward and I had made for the family and currently we were occupied in our favorite pastime. Jasper, Marvin, Sophie and I were playing Monopoly on the living room floor while Carlisle sat on the couch and alternated between watching us and the TV. Alice took care of our bank and served us all dessert cake that Edward brought from Chic.

Edward was sitting on one of the couches and intently typing e-mails in his phone.

"Edward, come play with us." I said without looking up from the board while I moved my iron on the board. Sophie and I were a team as usual so we had one empty space anyways.

"I don't play idiotic mind-numbing games." He said while he continued typing. He glanced up at me once and I raised my eyebrows at him. Him and I were the only people in the room who knew that wasn't true.

"Go on, son. Use some of the strategies you have learned at work; they won't stand a chance against you." Carlisle said with a smirk. Edward quirked an eyebrow at him then tossed his phone on the couch as he came to sit on the floor with us.

"NO! Not there! Sit over there." Sophie pointed to the other side of the table and Edward gave her a confused look.

"What's wrong with this place?"

"You'll squish Marvin." She said as she rolled the dice.

Edward groaned and went to the other side. He gave me a wary look when he sat down. "You got her in on it too? I'll never see the end of this now."

"Marvin, put your hands over your ears." I spoke to the space where Marvin was sitting then looked at Edward, who was sitting opposite to him. "Edward! Did you just talk about the end of Marvin right in front of his eyes?" I said with a hiss.

He gave me a level look then looked at Sophie. "Sophie, come here and sit with me. Your fairy is all kinds of crazy. I don't want you to catch it from her."

Sophie gasped and covered her mouth with both her hands and made her eyes wide as she looked up at me.

"I'm sorry. Did you just call your fairy "crazy"?" I narrowed my eyes at Edward.

He rolled his eyes. "First of all, for the millionth freaking time, you are not _my_ fairy. Second of all, I think I just did call you crazy. So go ahead, and put whatever hex you're going to put on me and get it over with it." Edward started to grab money out of the bank for himself.

Sophie jumped out of my lap and went to Edward. She pushed him a little on his shoulder. "Edward! Apologize to the fairy! RIGHT NOW!"

"Cherie, don't worry. _Elle ne veut pas faire de la magie sur moi_." Edward reached out to Sophie as he reassured her that I wouldn't do any magic on him. Sophie did not look convinced.

"I don't know Edward. I wouldn't be so sure if I were you. To be honest, I'd be a little scared to go to sleep. Who knows what you might wake up as…" I trailed off.

"Isabella…" Edward warned in a stern voice as he watched Sophie getting restless. I reached out and pulled her into my arms.

"Don't worry, I'm just scaring him. I won't do any magic on him, I promise." I whispered to her so he couldn't hear. I looked at her to make sure she knew I was telling the truth and she seemed to be pleased finally.

After a while we started playing for real and Carlisle asked if he could join too and I asked Marvin to sit this one out. Sophie switched from my team to Carlisle's and sat on his lap instead. We played a few rounds until it freaking happened again.

"You have won second prize in a beauty contest– collect 10 dollars." Edward said with a smirk as he looked at his Community Chest card and everyone else groaned. This had been happening a lot. He kept drawing Community Chest cards and somehow won money every single time. That's when I figured it out. _Of course_! I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of the last time we had played Monopoly. The rest of the family obviously hadn't played with him before so had no clue what he was up to.

I picked up my iron and threw it at Edward across the table.

Every single person in the table looked at me in horror while Edward stared at me with wide eyes.

"You're cheating!" I accused with a pointed figure and everything.

"What the hell are you talking about!" Edward said in an incredulous voice but I knew better.

I just kept looking at him and huffed. Everyone else kept looking at me then at him then back at me. He gave up finally and whined in an indignant voice.

"I'm not cheating."

"Yes you are."

"Am not!" He said with gritted teeth, and making a face at me that asked me to stop.

I took a deep breath. "Show us your card."

"No! That would mean I am addressing this ridiculous accusation."

"Edward, show us the card." I repeated.

"I will do no such thing. Just play your move Isabella." He started dismissing me by resuming the game but I wasn't going to have any of that. I reached out and tried to grab the card out of his hand but he snatched his hand away and held it over his head.

I looked at Sophie once and winked at her to make sure she was on board. Then I got up and stalked my way towards Edward. "The card, Edward."

He gave me a look of warning. "Isabella, cut it out. Right now." I kept advancing towards him anyways.

He looked between me and Sophie, who had now gotten up from Carlisle's lap and was stalking Edward on his other side.

"Are you serious with this? You're going to snatch my card from me?" He gave the two of us a bored look. When we didn't seem deterred by his indifference and continued towards him he finally got a flash of nervousness in his eyes. He looked at Carlisle.

"Dad? Ask them to stop."

"Edward, I think you need to show us that card, son." Carlisle said with a very amused expression as he watched me and Sophie get closer to Edward.

He groaned and got up from the floor. "This is so not happening." He acted like he was pissed but I noticed that he still held the card firmly in his hand.

"C'mon Edward. Just hand it over and we don't have to get into something ugly."

"Whatever." He mumbled and started walking away from the table and out of the living room. Sophie and I took after him and he turned around once and saw us following him. He started walking faster out of the room and by the time he got to the foyer Sophie and I were right behind him.

"Stop following me!" He yelled back at us but his steps became even faster towards the kitchen.

Sophie and I were now running to keep up with him and he quickly ran into the kitchen and came to a standstill on the other side of the kitchen island and faced us.

I could see from his face that he was trying to act angry but his eyes were bright. "I mean it, Isabella. Stop it."

Sophie and I now circled him from opposite sides of the island and he looked once at her then at me and realized he was trapped.

"_Princesse_…" He tried to make a sad face at Sophie but she just narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

"Leave me alone!" He said suddenly and took off by-passing Sophie and sprinted out of the kitchen.

Alice was just coming into the kitchen with left over dessert cake and she shrieked as Edward ran past her in a whiff and then saw me and Sophie running towards her too. She dropped the cake when I kind of might have bumped into her in my haste and she screamed for us to calm the hell down as she leaned down and started picking up cake from the floor. Sophie and I chased Edward around the entire bottom floor, we ran through the kitchen then back into the foyer, then back to the living room, around the couches then around Carlisle who tried to reason with us while smiling the widest smile I had ever seen on him. Edward was shouting out warnings at me the whole time like "Stop it" and "You are going to pay for this" and "I am serious, Isabella" and saying things in French to Sophie to get her on his side but none of us were affected by anything he said.

Then finally Edward ran and hid behind Jasper and when we got there Jasper restrained me with his arms, effectively encaging me in his grasp while Sophie kept chasing Edward around Jasper and me in the middle. Then out of nowhere Alice came up behind Edward and totally took him by surprise so he didn't even realize when she snatched the card out of his hands with an exasperated look on her face.

Her eyes went wide when she read the card. "Go to jail. – go directly to jail – Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. _You ass!_" She yelled and launched at him, making him tumble on the floor. Sophie followed suit and jumped on top of Edward. Jasper and I exchanged a look then he let go of me and he launched himself on the human pile on the Cullen living room floor too. I grabbed a cushion from the couch and started beating the pile with it, not really caring who I was hitting.

After a while Carlisle came up behind me and I stood up and stopped my cushion attack. He put an arm around my shoulder and I looked up at him. His eyes were sparkling with tears that he held back and he gave me the most brilliant smile ever. I smiled back at him and we resumed observing the pile of people on the floor who were still all shrieking and yelling various things.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

_Two more weeks had passed._

"Then you are meeting with the board at 2 and the Skytex delegation is arriving at 4. I also have you booked for a hair appointment at 6."

Jessica recited my schedule for the day as usual as we rode up the elevator to my office but I didn't really feel like listening to that right then. I pulled out my phone and kept half an ear open to what she was saying as I looked at the message that Isabella had sent me two days ago.

"_Can't meet for lunch for a couple of days. Will let you know when I'm available again."_

I had been pretty pissed at first that that she had out of nowhere just cancelled lunch and didn't even tell me exactly what the reason was. And I stopped myself from calling her right away to ask why she was cancelling. It's not like she was bound by contract to have lunch with me very single fucking day anyways.

But then yesterday I had sent her a message asking if everything was ok and she hadn't answered. _She hadn't answered my fucking message!_ I kept glancing at my phone repeatedly and my anger increased tenfold each time I did that. My anger at her for ignoring my message and my anger at myself for letting someone do this to me.

As the day rolled on and lunchtime arrived my anger gave way to worry. It wasn't like her to just ignore someone out of the blue. What if something had happened. Then I started thinking about all the things that could have happened to keep her from having lunch with me and then ignoring my message and started driving myself crazy. Before lunch hour was over I swallowed my pride and called her.

Her phone was turned off.

What the fuck! Why is her phone turned off? Is she trying to ignore me that bad? What if she is in trouble and had to turn it off for some reason? Suddenly the image of Isabella sitting curled up in a ball on my couch in New York with tears streaming down her face after she was mugged flashed through my mind.

I burst through Jasper's office door and the men in suit sitting around his table all looked at me simultaneously. Jasper's eyes flashed with concern as he got up from his chair.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he walked towards me.

"Have you talked to Isabella today?"

Jasper frowned. "No, I talked to her last weekend. Alice tried to call her yesterday but said she couldn't get hold of her, that her phone was turned off. Why?"

"Did you go over to check if she's ok?"

"Edward, did it occur to you that she might just want some time to herself? I mean, we are a pretty overbearing bunch. That's why I insisted Alice not bother her right now and give her till the weekend."

"You are unbelievable. Did it occur to you that she might be in trouble or something?"

With that I stormed out of Jasper's office and grabbed my phone and wallet from my office. Jessica came in after me.

"Mr. Cullen, would you like me to print out a hard copy of the Jefferson contract for the board meeting?"

"Ask them to bring out my car upfront. I'll be down in a minute."

Jessica struggled to keep up with me. "Oh. Alright. But, sir, the meeting is in half an hour. "

"Cancel it." I said as the elevator door closed behind me.

I tried her phone a hundred more times on the way to her apartment and honked at every car that got in my way.

I knocked on her door a couple of times and then rang the bell but there was no answer. Frustrated, I pounded on the door a couple more times and then almost gave up and left before deciding to try the knob. And it was open!

I walked into the apartment and was taken aback by the mess all around her living room. There were used bits of Kleenex, dirty clothes and take out boxes strewn all over the place. I walked towards her room and the door was open so went inside.

She was curled up in the middle of the bed, as usual with no pillow under her head and shivering away. She had two blankets on top of her.

"Jesus Christ Isabella. Are you ok?" I asked from the doorway.

"I'm fine. It's just the flu." She said through chattering teeth. "What are you doing here?" She asked without looking at me and her voice was nasal and sounded nothing like her.

"I called you like a thousand times and you won't answer the fucking phone."

"I don't know where it is." She said in between shivers. I walked around the bed to get a look at her face and saw that it was pale and sweaty.

"You don't look good."I said and I swear I could see her eyeballs rolling even if her lids were closed.

"Thanks. You are lighting up my day, as always. Look, I'm fine, really. Go away before you catch it too. You have your trip to prepare for."

I was supposed to go to New York this weekend.

"Yeah, I can see that you are completely fucking fine. Why the hell is your front door open?" I said as I crouched down on the floor beside the bed to be on the same level as her. She still hadn't opened her eyes.

"I must have left it open when I came back from the drug store. I was a little out of it so I must not have noticed it."

My head spun at this. Why was she going to the drug store when she was so out of it that she didn't even realize she left her front door open. Why not just call me or Alice and ask one of us to pick up some medicine for her.

I realized then that this was what her life was like before she met us. If she was in Seattle, she wouldn't have anyone to call and no matter how sick she was she would have to get her things by herself. And that's what she was doing now too.

"Is this why you cancelled lunch? Because you were sick?" I tried to keep the anger out of my voice. She insists on taking care of every one of us every chance she gets but refuses to let us do the same to her.

She nodded.

"Why didn't you tell anyone you were sick?" I tried hard not to make it sound like an accusation.

"I don't want people to fuss over me." There. At least she was honest. It didn't do anything to reduce my irritation though.

I reached out and pressed the back of my hand on her forehead, which was burning up.

Stubborn idiotic doctor.

"I am taking you to the hospital." I said as I got up and started to look around the room.

"Don't be ridiculous. It's just a fever. I took Tylenol, I'm just waiting for it to start working. And besides, it looks worse than it is. I just always shiver when I have a fever. It's not that bad." She rambled on.

"Uh-huh." I realized she was right though. There wasn't much they could do at a hospital if she had the flu. I kept looking around the room and saw that there were some packets of cracker by her bed.

"Isabella, when was the last time you ate something?"

'Um...a few hours ago.'

"And what did you eat then?" Even I could hear the irritation in my voice and she frowned.

"Edward, I'm not a baby that needs to be cared for."

"I'm not trying to take care of you. Just trying to make sure you are still alive when I get back from my trip."

"I promise you I will be. Now get out of my apartment before I physically remove you myself."

I turned around and left the apartment. I grabbed a set of her keys before leaving and locked the front door. I saw a bunch of messages from Jessica on my phone reminding me of the rest of my appointments for the day and I sent her one message telling her to cancel everything.

I returned half an hour later with a few bags full of soup, a few steaks and pasta dishes from Chic, candy, and ice cream. God knows what she wants to eat. I also went to the drug store and picked up Tylenol and throat lozenges and half of whatever else was on the same shelf.

I unlocked the door with the key I had taken and let myself in. I went into her kitchen and looked through her cupboards to find some bowls and spoons and poured some soup out. When I came to the bedroom she hadn't moved an inch from the position I had left her in. She was shivering more than before now and she was mumbling incoherently to herself. I set the bowl of soup on her nightstand and crouched down on the floor beside the bed.

"Isabella? You up?"

'"Mmm..." She mumbled without opening her eyes.

"Isabella, you need to eat."

"Mmmm..." She just mumbled again and hid her face in the mattress. I stood back up and looked down at her for a second, trying to decide what to do. Finally I reached out and pulled her up to a sitting position and made her lean against her headboard. She just kept mumbling with her eyes closed.

I brought spoonfuls of soup and held it in front of her lips and she took a few sips with her eyes closed then finally flopped back into the bed again.

The shivering went away for a little while but it came back again. I grabbed a chair and sat next to her bed, deciding that I couldn't just leave her there on her own when she seemed to be in such bad shape. I did need to pack but I couldn't leave her there on her own. I guess I could always call Alice and ask her to take over, but that would be like saying Alice was a closer friend of hers than I was and I didn't like the sound of that.

She opened her eyes a little at the sound of the chair dragging across the floor and groaned when she saw me sitting there.

"Edward, go away."

I refused to acknowledge that and just sat there for about an hour. She was lying in bed the whole time but she was extremely restless. She had her eyes closed but she wasn't sleeping at all. Her teeth chattered, she mumbled, threw her arms and legs around, then went into a fetal position again. And once in a while she peaked at me and growled at me to get the hell out of her apartment. After a while I went into her linen closet and found more blankets that I laid on her, but they wouldn't stop the shivering either. Finally, I had had enough.

"Fuck this!" I said with a growl and got up from the chair.

I pulled on the blanket that she had been clutching under her chin and she opened her eyes and frowned at me.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting you warm."

I got into bed, pulled the blanket around myself and her and pulled her to my chest. I put my arms around her shoulders, tucked her head under my chin and threw a leg over hers.

"Edward, what the hell are you doing. You are going to get sick too! Get away from me." She struggled against me at first and her voice was weak but indignant. However, I could feel how she melted into my form at the same time. After a few minutes the shivering came down and ultimately completely stopped. Halle-fucking-lujah.

"See, I knew it would work. I don't know why you have to always be such a pain. I mean, look at this. If you do what I say once in a while, things actually work out you know." I told her in an all knowing tone that usually elicited an eye roll from her.

"Now, can you please get up and eat something and take more medication?" I asked again when I didn't manage to elicit a snarky response from her.

She didn't answer me.

"Isabella?" I squeezed her around the shoulders a little to get her to talk.

Great. What, now she was pissed and wouldn't even talk to me?

I pulled back a little to look at her face and saw that she had fallen asleep. Like totally asleep. Well, fuck me. Wish I had known this before, then I would've gotten into bed with her hours ago and spared both of us the agony all this time. My god, this girl was so stubborn. She couldn't just tell me this before instead of acting like a stubborn teenager all this time?

I noticed that she had her hair in a bun on top of her head and realized that it would be uncomfortable when she turned on her back. So I reached out and pulled the clip out, letting her hair lose. I was immediately assaulted by the scent of her girly shampoo. How did she manage to be so sick but still smell like fresh shampoo? I realized she must have taken a shower last night or this morning or something. But the freshness was only in her hair though. Her skin was sweaty and pale from the fever, there were dark circles under her eyes. She broke free of my grasp around her shoulders that I had still been using to hold her away from my chest so I could take a good look at her face and she burrowed deep into my body.

"Edward misses you too. A lot. I promise, he really does."

I frowned my brows wondering what the hell she was dreaming of now. I couldn't stay confused for too long though since it was very warm in the bed and I started to feel pretty relaxed myself. The last thing I remember is the feeling of Isabella's nose rubbing against my sternum and her fevered breath spreading against my chest before I drifted off to sleep too.

**A/N: I love my beta Jadalulu with a passion. I love her more with every pm we exchange. That's all I have to say :) **


	16. Definition of beauty

"_**It's [beauty] a kind of radiance. People who possess a true inner beauty, their eyes are a little brighter, their skin a little more dewy. They vibrate at a different frequency."**_

_~ Cameron Diaz_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

The sunlight shining directly on my face was what woke me up. I opened my eyes with a grunt because I always pulled the curtains before going to bed for this very reason. I squinted my eyes against the bright light as I could see the sky out the window and tried to ignore the ache in my entire body and my head.

I closed my eyes again and weighed my options. Either I could get up to shut the curtains and then try to go back to sleep, or I could just try to ignore the sun and try to sleep anyways. I made a whining sound when I realized I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep in either case.

I was as always lying on my stomach on the edge of my bed, with one arm dangling off the side, and tried to lift my head a little but it felt heavier than lead and I plopped it back down on the bed. I lay there for a few more moments like that before my eyes popped open with a snap and suddenly I was wide awake.

I vaguely recalled taking a shower yesterday morning and then dragging myself to the drug store to pick up some Tylenol. After that everything went a little fuzzy but I swear to god I heard Edward in my room. I propped myself on my elbows while I was still lying on my stomach and lifted my head and looked to the other side of the room that I had been ignoring until now.

"Awww man! Come on!" I groaned as I caught sight of the rest of my bed on my other side. Sure enough, Edward was lying there on the other side of the bed with one of my pillows under his head and the other one clutched tightly to his chest. His eyes snapped open at the sound of my loud whiny voice and he shot up to a sitting position, throwing the pillow away from his chest.

"What? What's going on?" He looked at me with wide confused eyes.

"Edwarrrrd! I told you to go home." I groaned and sat up. His eyes and face relaxed and he frowned at me for a second. Then he grabbed the pillow lying in between us and flopped back on the bed.

"Shut up and go back to sleep Isabella. It's too early." He pulled the pillow back to his chest and tried to pull the blanket up to cover his head. I yanked the blanket down away from him.

"Just so you know, I am not taking care of you and playing your nurse when you get sick too. Which you will. You are solely responsible for bringing that on to yourself."

"Whatever. Now shut up and let me sleep." He mumbled and pulled the pillow over his head.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table and noticed that it was 7 a.m. I recalled Edward having come in sometime yesterday afternoon and I distinctly remember him crawling into bed with me when the sun was still up.

"How are you still sleepy Edward? We slept for more than 12 hours." I said and he suddenly pulled the pillow down from his head and held it to his chest while he looked between me and the clock.

"I never sleep for more than 6 hours." He said with wide eyes. I rolled my eyes at his reaction. Then his eyes focused on me suddenly. "Wait, are you ok? How are you feeling? You still have a fever?" He reached out the back of his palm to feel my forehead but I pulled away giving him an annoyed look.

"I'm fine. I probably just needed the sleep. I just need to get something to eat." To be honest, I wasn't completely fine. I didn't feel feverish anymore but my throat and nose were still congested like crazy and my head and muscles ached all over. But I wasn't going to tell him that.

I started to get up from the bed quickly but my head went all dizzy from having been lying down for so long and I wobbled a little. Edward saw that and reached out with his arms a little to grab me if I fell but I just held myself very still until the dizziness went away. Edward now threw the blanket away from himself and got off the bed. He still had his dress shirt and slacks on but they were crinkled like crazy.

"Stay there, I'll get you something to eat first." He started to walk out of the room but I attempted to get up again.

"No way. I'm fine, I've just been lying down for too long. I need to walk around a bit –" I didn't get to finish my sentence. I had just gotten up and stood beside the bed when he was right there two inches away from me, effectively putting an end to my attempts at getting any further.

"Lie the fuck back down instead of making this worse. Otherwise I'm going to have to be stuck here for the entire weekend instead." I had never seen Edward this crumpled up before – his tie hanging loosely from his neck, the first three buttons of his shirt open, his hair looking like a bird's nest, his expensive clothes all wrinkled up– but he still looked scary enough so I knew he meant business.

I gave him a steady gaze then held up my hands. "Fine, but can I at least use the bathroom?"

His gaze softened a little and he threw a wary glance towards the bathroom door then back at me. Then he stepped back, blocking my way to anywhere but the bathroom door. I rolled my eyes and made sure he saw it before I stomped inside.

I scared myself a little at how I looked in the mirror, all pasty and disgusting after having been sick for days. I felt a little embarrassed at first, thinking of Edward seeing me like this, but then I figured there was no reason. It was just Edward, after all. Neither of us were ever really that conscious of each other's outlooks anyways.

When I came out of the bathroom I saw Edward walk around my kitchen preparing eggs.

"I don't want eggs, Edward. I just want a toast." I said in a whiny voice. He ignored me and cracked two more eggs on the frying pan. When he turned around I gave him a sad face to try to manipulate him but he just ignored me and opened the fridge to retrieve a carton of orange juice.

"You need the strength. You will eat whatever I make for you." He said as he poured a glass of juice then a glass of milk and placed both in front of me. I took the juice and narrowed my eyes a little at him.

"Who the hell died and made you king of my kitchen?" I huffed.

He was frying the egg on the skillet and smirked as he threw me a glance over his shoulder. "No one. I think I was born this way."

I rolled my eyes and started to take another sip of juice when the bell rang. Edward looked at me with a frown.

"Are you expecting someone?"

"No." I said as I started to get off the stool by the counter. Edward put the fried egg on a plate then walked out of the kitchen ahead of me.

I stood behind him a little as he opened the door, mostly because I looked awful and didn't want whoever was on the other side to see me like this.

"Edward! Why the hell haven't you been answering your phone? Jasper has called you at least a thousand times." Alice's shrill voice rang through the entire apartment as she pushed open the door and looked between me and Edward. She eyed both of us up and down and took in Edward's wrinkled clothes and my sweats and our general beat down outlook.

"Isabella! Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Come on in." I said with a sigh. Apparently the whole family had invited themselves to my place that morning.

"She's not fine." Edward grumbled and Alice threw him a look.

"What exactly are you doing here?" She asked as she gave him a dubious look.

"That's none of your fucking business."He replied in true Edwardian fashion.

I rolled my eyes and went back to the kitchen. It was too early in the morning and I still felt too sick to have to endure one of Alice and Edward's showdowns.

Edward followed me into the kitchen and resumed his conquest over my kitchen appliances. He placed another skillet on the stove and went to the fridge to take out bacon. He also pulled out some fresh fruit and started slicing them while the bacon was frying. Seeing him there, you'd think they boy had been doing this every morning of his life since he looked so comfortable.

"Jasper is just parking the car. He'll be right up." Alice said as she came into the kitchen and took a seat by the counter next to me. As Edward worked on preparing breakfast wordlessly, she followed him with her eyes like she was watching the circus. When he had his back turned towards us she gave me these looks and wiggled her eyebrows in question, but I kind of ignored her. I was too congested to care about any of the Cullen/Hale antics at the moment.

And as if there weren't already enough people in my tiny little kitchen, Jasper walked in right then.

"Holy Jesus, this place is crammed." He bellowed out from the doorway and I couldn't agree with him more.

He looked at Edward with an amused expression. "Nice clothes. Did you spend the night here?"

Edward threw him a nasty glare. "Yeah, I figured _someone_ should be here in case she lay here dead or something."

Jasper looked at me and assessed me. "You ok, Izzy-boo?"

I rolled my eyes. "I am not dying. I just have the flu. Ugh, can't you all just act like normal people and leave me alone to marinate in my germs?"I said as I laid my head down on the counter.

"How come Edward knew you were sick and I didn't?" Alice asked, completely ignoring what I had just said.

"Because I had the decency to come here and check up on her when she decided to disappear off the face of the earth." Edward said in a cold voice.

Alice came over to me and hugged my shoulders as I still kept my head on the counter. "I'm sorry, Isabella. It's all Jasper's fault. He told me that maybe this was your way of asking us to give you some space." I groaned again, wishing they had all listened to Jasper. Apparently he was the only one that really got me.

Edward now came on my other side and pulled a little on my arm to make me sit up. I looked up to see that he had placed the eggs, bacon, toast and two Tylenols in front of me. I opened my mouth to say something but he interrupted.

"I don't want to hear it." He said to me.

Alice gave him a weird look and he returned it with a nasty one of his own. "Get off of her so she can eat." He said to her.

"Hey Ed. While you're at it, will you make me some eggs too?"Jasper said with an amused look.

"What am I the fucking chef of the Swan mansion? Make it yourself." He grumbled and walked out of the kitchen and I heard my bathroom door close after a few moments.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

We were at the Cullen mansion and for the third day in a row Edward and I had made dinner for the rest of the family. Afterwards, Carlisle had taken Sophie up to bed and the rest of us were sitting in the kitchen eating dessert. Edward, Jasper and Alice were sitting by the island while I stood by a counter and flipped through a magazine as I ate my ice cream.

"Oh, Izzy-boo, are you coming tomorrow?"Jasper suddenly said out of nowhere and I kept looking at him to elaborate. Alice intervened.

"Oh, shoot. I forgot to tell you. There's a charity ball by the waterfront tomorrow. You are coming." Alice said but didn't even look away from her plate. I knew all too well that she hadn't forgotten at all. She just knew that if she sprang it on me it would catch me off guard and there was a bigger chance of me not making up an excuse not to go. Ever since I had moved to LA I had avoided things like these because as much as I loved this family, I wasn't planning on being a part of LA's elite social scene the least bit. I loved doing things with the Cullens and the Hales and I wanted to just keep it there. But I was going to change my mind in the next fifteen minutes because I was going to be given very appealing reasons for doing so.

"Well, jeez. Thanks for _asking_, Alice. But I can't make it."

"Aw, Izzy-boo. C'mon. It's going to be fun!" Jasper said in a disappointed voice. Alice reached out and smacked him at the back of his head.

"See? This is exactly why I was just going to kidnap her in the last minute and drag her there."

I rolled my eyes because I knew that she actually meant that. "Well, thanks for asking you guys, but it really isn't my kind of thing." I said to the two of them.

"C'mon, Isabella. There's going to be great food, good music, great company – " Jasper pointed at himself at this part "- and you get to get all dolled up for the evening and everything."

Alice seemed to approve of Jasper's technique of trying to entice me with things I might enjoy and dove in herself.

"Yeah. Ooo and also, you get to witness the ho's of LA's elite trying to shove themselves up Edward's ass."

For the rest of my life I would forever wish that I could go back in time and clap a hand over my mouth to prevent the next sound that came out of there.

I snorted.

I looked up to the kitchen counter to see three sets of eyes fixed on me. The guys were shocked and frozen. Alice looked amused. I looked between the three of them for a few seconds then got a little uncomfortable.

"What?"I asked.

Edward seemed to be too shocked to express his views so Jasper started. "You don't think girls fawn and go all kinds of crazy over Edward?"

"Umm…maybe….no?"I was very unsure of what I was supposed to say.

Edward and Jasper looked at each other with incredulous looks in their faces then looked at me. Alice snorted in amusement and kept eating her ice cream.

"What? What? What did I say?" I looked between the three of them.

"Izzy-boo! How can you not think that?"Jasper asked.

"What? I don't get it. What's the big deal?"

"Isabella! Have you even _seen_ this?" Jasper gestured with both of his hands on the space around Edward.

I frowned my brows. "Uh, yeah. I have. So?"

"So? You don't think Edward is good looking?"

I threw a wry glance at Edward. "Well, um, sure."

Jasper leaned back in his chair and looked at Edward and he shook his head at him sympathetically. "Dude."

"I don't get what the big deal is. You're good looking too." I said as I pointed at Jasper.

Jasper crossed his arms behind his head. "Yeah, I know. But Alice would throat any girl that tries to get close to me. She actually starts pulling hair when she feels up for it."

Alice nodded her head without looking up. "Yes, that's true. I do." I chuckled at her honesty.

Edward spoke up finally. "Why exactly is it so unthinkable that girls might be interested in me?" He kept his face empty of any emotions. That made me a bit nervous.

"Well, I just…you just… don't seem like….the kind of guy that girls would….well, _fawn_ over."

"Dude." Jasper snorted loudly now and slapped Edward's back. I rolled my eyes at his silliness and attempted to leave the kitchen but then heard the scraping of a stool against the floor and then Edward's voice.

"Get the fuck back here, Isabella."

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around to see that Edward had now come around the island and was standing with his arms crossed over his chest and leaning on the counter behind him.

"Why exactly am I not the kind of guy girls fawn over?"

I looked at Jasper and Alice to see if they'd help me out a little but they were both sitting there with very amused looks on their faces. With friends like these…

"Well, don't girls like guys that are a bit more…I don't know…kinder? Nicer? Softer?"I shrugged my shoulders a little.

Jasper snorted again and mouthed "Softer" at Alice who also giggled. Edward threw each of them a glare then returned it to me.

"I'm not kind and nice?"

"Oh no, no. You are. You…really. You are. But I just think that…it might be difficult…for girls to see past –" I made a round gesture with my hands towards the general space around him – "the rest of it." And by "it" I meant his gruff attitude. I hope he got that without me having to spell it out. 'Cause I knew for sure _that_ conversation would never end well.

Alice and Jasper broke into loud guffaws now and Jasper started slapping the island with the palm of his hand while holding his belly with his other hand.

Edward was fuming so much that he didn't even bother to look at them. He pointed a finger at me as he spoke.

"That's it. You're coming to the ball and you are going to watch me make every girl there swoon and then never ever in your entire life question my ability to floor a chick."

"I dunno, Edward –"I started.

"What don't you know?" He snapped.

I sighed and decided to be just honest. "Well, this whole you being able to floor any girl thing. I mean, what do you do, breathe some fire down on her to make her swoon?"

"Umm…Isabella…" Jasper sobered up and started but Edward held up a hand towards him and stood up straight.

"You are _seriously_ questioning my ability to pick up a girl?"

I shrugged. "I just don't see you as the type to be smooth talking your way into women's hearts. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm sure you can get them to do…um…things. You know, 'cause of how you look and all. But I don't think you can actually woo a girl."

Edward looked at Jasper and Alice incredulously, hoping for some support. Jasper just stayed frozen in spot while Alice nodded her head in a matter of fact way.

"What she means is that you can get one of those sluts that hover around you to give you head but you don't have it in you to, uh, I dunno, like just floor a girl with a romantic dance or something." Alice said in a matter of fact way.

Edward looked at me for confirmation of this and I nodded. The woman really got me sometimes.

"What the fuck, Alice. You've seen me dance with hundreds of girls."He said as he gave her an incredulous look.

She rolled her eyes. "Grinding your cock against their ass cheeks isn't dancing you pervert."

Jasper, Edward and I all flinched simultaneously at the image. Alice's language could get very colorful when she and Edward got into one of their arguments.

"This is fucking unbelievable." Edward grumbled and made a motion to leave.

Jasper got up and grabbed his arm. "Hey, hey. It's fine. You know what, just ask a girl for a proper dance tomorrow and prove them wrong."

"Um…I still can't really make it tomorrow." I interrupted them.

"Why can't you make it?" Edward asked.

"Because I have the night shift."

"Cancel it." He said like he was asking me to get him a glass of water or something.

"Oh yeah, sure Mr. I Own Half of America. I actually work at a place I don't own and will have to ask if I can switch shifts with someone. That is, if I even want to come to this thing."

He picked up his phone before I was done talking and searched through his contact list for a number. When he found it he pressed the phone to his ear while keeping his eyes on me.

"Dr. Green? Hi, this is Edward Cullen…yeah, I'm fine. Listen, Dr. Swan won't be working tomorrow evening. Is that ok? Great." He said it all in one breath and didn't wait for a response as he removed the phone from his ear and threw it on the couch. "There, problem solved."

I looked at him with eyes the size of saucers. "Did you just call my Chief of Medicine?"

"He's Dad's friend. How else did you think I got them to let you stay?"

"I thought you paid them a bunch of money."

He shrugged. "Dad would have donated that wing anyways."

I just shook my head in disbelief as I looked at Jasper. He gave me a smile. "So you're coming?"

I looked around at Edward and Alice. Edward stood leaning on the looking at me. Alice was sitting with her eyes all wide and expectant.

"I get to watch Edward dance with a girl?"

Jasper nodded with a smirk thrown towards Edward.

"I'll tell you what, you can even pick the girl."Jasper said and Edward looked up at him and narrowed his eyes. I saw that he didn't like that. Well, this could be _fun_.

"Care to make this more interesting?" I asked.

Never to back out of a challenge Edward and Jasper's eyes shone.

"Let's make this into a bet. I'll pick out the best looking girl in the room and Edward has to ask her to dance in a proper way and act like a gentleman with her for the rest of the evening." I raised my eyebrows and Alice's eyes shone. She liked where this was going too.

"What happens if I win?" Edward asked.

I shrugged. "You can choose what you want as the winner. I don't really care."

He held out his hand to me. "Deal."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

They had taken up an enormous stretch of area on the waterfront for the ball. There were white lanterns and off white satin arches everywhere. The whole waterfront was covered in an enormous platform for the party, with tables set up around the whole place and an enormous dance floor on one side as well as a stage where a live band was playing. The entire place was very brightly lit up, standing in stark contrast to the pitch black night stretching over the ocean and making the pitch black water sparkle. There were little bridges draped with white satin and flowers leading up to decks in different parts of the waterfront and there were groups of people gathered in each deck with drinks in their hands, chattering away in the brightly lit decks with the pitch black night in the background. The band was playing jazz from the 50's era and the sounds of the saxophones gave the whole place an old world charm.

I came to the party with Alice and Jasper, while Carlisle and Edward were coming straight from work. Alice and I had taken hours to get ready and I must admit that I felt quite pretty after all our primping and prodding. Alice had after hours and hours of going through her closet and trying on about a thousand different dresses decided on a powder blue gown. Completed with pearls and frosty blue eye make-up she looked absolutely stunning. I had giggled when Jasper almost dropped his glass of wine when she walked out of the room and into the living room. I in turn had picked my favorite and trusted red dress that my mom had spent a fortune on getting for me last year on my birthday. It was a strapless silk dress that fell freely around my waist and ended just above my knee. I had worn this dress only once since I had gotten it but I figured for going to a ball with LA's elite, I needed to bring out the big guns. I let my hair fall in soft waves around my shoulders and the smoky eye make-up I went with made me look quite different from usual. I completed the outfit with ruby studs in my ears and black strappy sandals.

We spotted Carlisle as soon as we came in through the huge main entrance. He left the group of men that he was standing with and came over to greet us. Then we followed Carlisle to where he was standing previously where he introduced me to a group of businessmen based in various parts of California. Alice and Jasper had met most of them already and they all exchanged pleasantries and started chatting away.

I looked around the platform and all the people to take everything in. Everything was so beautiful and perfectly decorated, I wondered just how much money people spent on an evening like this. It was very obvious that the patrons in the ball were among the richest in the city from their every move and every look and their clothes and their shoes and their attitudes. I sighed a little as I realized I was very out of place in a place like this. Carlisle was standing opposite to me in the little group and I noticed him looking at me. While the others chatted away he discretely moved across the group and came to stand beside me. And just like that, with Carlisle on one side and Alice and Jasper on the other, I didn't care where we were and relaxed.

After a few minutes, however, I stepped back a little from the group and kept looking around the room, studying all the strange faces around me. After I had studied all the parts of the platform from my left to right I finally turned all the way around, with my back to the Carlisle and Alice and Jasper, and I caught sight of Edward.

He was standing on the dock on the other end of the bridge we were standing next to and was talking to a group of guys. He wore a tux and looked good, as usual. He had been looking at me intently when I turned around, and I realized he had spotted me before I had spotted him. I waved a little excitedly when I saw his familiar face among a place full of hundreds of strangers. The weirdly intent look on his face disappeared as he broke into an amused smile and raised the glass he was holding a little towards me.

He looked around the place a little then raised an eyebrow at me in question, wondering whether I had decided on a girl yet. I held up a finger at him, indicating I wasn't done yet. He shook his head a little then returned to the men in suits that he was standing with and resumed their conversation.

And Edward did not disappoint. Even I have to admit, the girls were in fact fawning over him that night. Well, much more than fawning. Throughout the night, I could see how every single female around him was very aware of his presence and consciously or unconsciously tried to get his attention. Women constantly approached him, brushing up against him, giggling nervously, leaning forward to give him a good view, flipping hair, the whole deal.

Alice caught me staring at a particularly amusing exchange where a woman in her forties was literally pressing her breasts on Edward's side while he tried to squirm away but there was another girl with blond hair on his other side who then took her chance and pressed on him.

"Jasper and him weren't kidding were they? He really is quite the stud around here." I said to Alice.

"I know. It's disgusting. There's a dog race among the high society single females of LA about who will manage to land the "elusive" Edward Cullen. Some of the girls have these online chat forums dedicated to his jaw."

I looked at her with wide eyes. She nodded. "Yes, it's actually true. Don't ask."

I looked back at Edward again. Ok, yeah he had a _very_ defined jaw and all. But really? Chat forums?

"Those bitches should build a shrine to you or something though. He would never tolerate them with this much patience normally. He would usually have barked at and made some girl cry by this point in the night. He's trying to prove the whole "I can be a gentleman thing" to win the bet tonight and they are totally taking advantage of the "nicer" side of Edward Cullen. Some girl in the rest room actually asked me if he has started on antidepressants."

I chuckled and shook my head at the ridiculousness of it all. For the next fifteen minutes I looked around the place looking closely at the women and trying to find the right one to torture Edward with. Finally, I saw her. A blond goddess with absolutely stunning looks. I mean, don't get me wrong, most of the girls in the ball were breathtaking, with their perfect features and their perfectly kept outlook. But this girl was on a league of her own. She was obviously someone important, her superior attitude to everyone around her dripping from the way she held her glass of champagne, from the way she looked at everyone else. I looked at her perfectly fitting red cocktail dress that hugged every single curve of her body and ended high on her thigh and I couldn't help but let out a little chuckle at my own dress. Even though we were both wearing red, mine just seemed so virgin and naïve compared to hers. I asked Alice about her and she informed me that the girl with the perfectly toned body and the blond curls was Lauren Mallory, daughter of Senator Mallory. Then she praised me on my choice because I had apparently zeroed in on the queen-bee of the single social scene of the LA elite.

I pulled out my phone from my purse and texted Edward two words: _Lauren Mallory_. I could see him across the platform as he took out his phone from his pocket and looked at it. He chuckled when he saw the message and looked up to see where I was. When he located me he gave me a smirk then started typing a message.

"_You don't do anything half-assed, do you?" _His message said.

He looked at me and I smiled and shook my head at him and gave him a wink and a thumbs up. Then I mouthed the words "Go get her, tiger." And this time he shook his head a little like he couldn't believe my guts and went back to talking to the guys around him.

Carlisle waved us over from where he was standing with a group of men and Alice and I made our way to them while Jasper went over to talk to some friends of his. There were two men of Carlisle's age in tuxes standing next to him. One of them especially grabbed my attention. He was tall and well built and had red hair. The tux he wore was perfectly tailored and everything from his shoes to his watch to his attitude just exuberated power and money. Whereas Carlisle's presence was always subtle but strong, this man was strong but there was nothing subtle about his strength. The red haired man took a step forward and took Alice's right hand in his and kissed it as we approached the group.

"Alice, darling, you are more beautiful every time I see you."

"Thanks, Alex. You look great too." Alice said in a polite but cheery tone.

"And who do we have here?" The red haired man looked at me with warm eyes.

Carlisle moved to my other side and placed a hand on my back. "Alex, this is Dr. Isabella Swan. Isabella, this is Alexander Denali, my business associate and dear friend."

"Oh, this is the new family friend?" Alexander Denali looked at me with enthusiasm.

"She is much more than that." Carlisle looked down at me indulgently and I gave him a bright smile.

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow at Carlisle, still holding on to my hand.

"Isabella is very important to my family." Carlisle said with a finality in his voice that made my heart clench a little, and Alex gave him a look before turning towards me again.

"Of course she is. Such an exquisite young lady. Pleased to meet you Dr. Swan." He kissed the back of my hand lightly then released it.

"Nice to meet you too Mr. Denali. Please call me Isabella."

We chatted for a few minutes before dinner was announced and the group started making its way towards the large table in the centre of the whole platform. The centre piece for the table was larger than all other tables and something told me that not everyone had the privilege of sitting on this table. I felt a little unsure as to whether I should follow the rest of them there but my dilemma was solved when Carlisle gave me his arm to hold and we walked over to the table together. Once there he pulled out my chair for me to sit in. Then he sat down next to me and Alice sat on my other side, with Jasper next to her. Alex sat exactly opposite to me and Edward approached the table with Lauren on his arm. I raised my eyebrow at him in appreciation: that was some fast work. He gave me a proud look as he pulled Lauren's chair out for her then sat down next to Alex, opposite to me and Carlisle. I could see that unlike Carlisle, who had pulled out my chair with a fluid motion that only came with years of having a habit, he looked awkward and didn't like doing that one bit. Well at least if he lost this bet he couldn't blame it on not knowing what to do, since he had 24 hour access to the perfect gentleman in his father and has had 27 years to take lessons.

While we waited for dinner to be served, Carlisle and Alex started talking about work and I pulled out my phone discretely and sent Edward a message.

"_That was fast. Job well done."_

Edward disentangled Lauren's hand from his arm and pulled out his phone to look at it. He smirked but didn't look up at me as he typed.

"_Why, thank you. Watch and learn how the masters do it."_

I snorted a little and a few people looked at me but I was holding my phone under the table so they couldn't see it.

A six course dinner was served and we made our way through the various dishes, half of which I had never even heard of before. Throughout dinner Lauren kept brushing her hand against Edward's arm once in a while and leaning forward to whisper to him, not paying attention to anything or anyone else in the table. Edward looked a little uncomfortable with the attention but seemed nonetheless pleased and kept giving me victorious looks when she wasn't looking, probably because he was well on his way to winning the bet. Lauren caught him exchanging looks with me a few times and she gave me a few nasty glares of her own, which I ignored deftly. I kind of wished I had picked a girl that was a little more difficult. Lauren was apparently all too willing to oblige to anything Edward wanted. I noticed that Alice was looking at them too and I gave her a worried look. She leaned forward to whisper to me.

"Don't worry. Once they start dancing she'll start rubbing herself all over him. There's no way they are going to dance properly. We'll win."

Alice had gone to the bathroom and Carlisle, Alex and the rest of the men on their side of the table were involved in a philosophical debate about existentialism. Apparently, having a large chunk of the world's resources at your feet caused middle aged men to start thinking about the reasons for their existence. I could understand that, but I somehow doubted this was common practice among the LA elite. I had just been lucky to end up with a few people that actually had the conscience to ponder such things. I had been listening to them with interest for a while now.

"I don't agree with that Carlisle. I don't think existentialism is always necessarily a depressing idea. In the right amount it can serve as a healthy idea to make us question our purpose and drive us towards trying to find it." Alex – which is what Mr. Denali had insisted I call him – said as he took a bite of his fish.

"Yes, but the very idea of existentialism defines that at the end of that road you will find that there is in fact no purpose for us to be here other than to merely exist. Any purpose you want is what you have to make for yourself." I said after taking a sip of my wine and all the older men in the table, including Alex looked at me in wonder.

Carlisle looked at me for a second with a bright look in his eyes then nodded. "Exactly. So going down the road of that ideology itself will lead you to realize the purposeless of your being."

"So, are you saying we shouldn't question our purpose of being at all in order to avoid being depressed?" Alex asked and looked between me and Carlisle.

None of the men seemed to be upset about me entering their conversation before so I spoke again.

"No, but you can approach the question in other ways than through existentialist eyes. By not thinking of each human being as a unit on its own and finding its own purpose. You can question our purpose of being through, for example, thinking of the existence of humanity in general and thinking of each person as a part of a whole rather than each part being a separate entity on its own. That would ensure that each life has purpose, regardless of what the owner of it chooses to do with it."

Edward, who was sitting next to Alex, was looking at me in that weird way that I had seen when I first saw him looking at me tonight. I made a mental note to ask him about it later and waited for Alex's response.

"You know what, I have a sneaking suspicion that it is indeed the double x chromosomes that should be held accountable for your liberal and optimistic ideas. I want another female opinion here." He looked around and noticed the only other female on the table that was close enough to join the discussion. The rest of the women, wives of some of the men on the table, were all the way on the other end and were involved in a conversation of their own where they were sort of whispering to each other and throwing pointed glances at a pregnant woman at another table.

"Lauren, what do you think?" Alex leaned forward a little so he could see Lauren past Edward.

Lauren was startled for a minute but then regained her composure. "Sorry Mr. Denali. I wasn't really paying attention. You know, you guys talk about stuff that no normal girl would really be interested in. No offence Isabella," Lauren picked up her wine glass with her long fingers with bright red nailpolish and gave me an apologetic look that wasn't apologetic at all.

"None taken." I smiled at her tightly. Edward had introduced us earlier just before dinner was served.

"Isabella, I feel like we should send our kids to your parents for some culture around here. I am impressed at so much insight at such a young age. Tell me, are your parents into philosophy?"Alex said with what looked like genuine awe.

I laughed a little. "Thank you, Alex. No, actually they are not at all. I had a very good teacher."

"You learned philosophy in school?" He looked really impressed now.

"No, the philosophy I read on my own. The teaching was about being curious and seeking knowledge."

"Well, needless to say, I am impressed. And I think it's safe to say my friends at the table are too. Having a young lady of your age be interested in more than just clothes is like a breath of fresh air."

The men all mumbled in acquiescence and some of them smiled at me while others winked. I kind of blushed under all the attention and Carlisle gave me a proud smile. I caught Edward's eye who was still giving me the weirdly intent look but as soon as our eyes met his expression changed and he smiled at me too. The real kind. Not a smirk. An actual _smile_!

Lauren took a long sip of her wine while she eyed me up and down. "Do you have a boyfriend, Isabella?"

"No, I don't." I quickly turned my eyes to her from Edward's.

Lauren smiled victoriously. "Well, that explains it then." She leaned forward a little to look at Alex. "You see Mr. Denali, we don't have girls like Isabella here because in _our_ world even the girls that aren't that pretty can usually afford to dress well enough so some guy will snatch them up. Where's the time for things like medical school and philosophy?"

"Lauren, do you want to take a walk on the beach?" Edward quickly rose from his chair and didn't really give her the option of saying no as he half pulled her up. Lauren got a bright look on her face as Edward draped her shawl around her shoulders. They walked away quickly and went down to the strip of beach on the other end of the platforms. They didn't come back for the rest of dinner.

The dance floor was announced to be open after dinner was over and pretty soon quite a lot of people had started swaying to the beautiful music. Jasper and Alice looked absolutely breathtaking while he twirled her around and she giggled with her head thrown back.

Carlisle was standing on the other end of the dance floor with a group of men and he came over to where I was sitting and held out his hand to me. I gave him a big smile and let him lead me to the dance floor. We went close to where Jasper and Alice were and Carlisle twirled me just like Jasper had done Alice, which made me all giddy. Then Carlisle and Jasper exchanged a look and they somehow maneuvered me and Alice so I ended up with Jasper and Carlisle with Alice. They repeated the move so we ended up with our original partners afterwards. Then they twirled us some more and Alice and I were both giggly. When the song ended Carlisle bowed his head a little thanking me for the dance and I reached up and kissed his cheek as I thanked him in return.

As Carlisle was leading me out of the dance floor to get us some drinks I noticed that Edward and Lauren were back and were standing by the bar watching us. I was still holding on to Carlisle's arm as he led us to the bar too and ordered drinks for the both of us.

"Are you having a nice time, son?" Carlisle asked Edward, who gave him a wry look but nodded nonetheless.

"I don't think I have had so much fun at one of these things in years. I have a feeling it might have a little something to do with my company for the evening." Carlisle looked at me and gave me a wink and I shook my head a little and smiled.

"You'd be having a nicer time if you were dancing yourself rather than watching your family dance." Lauren said to Edward in a bored voice as she ran her hand suggestively up and down his bicep.

"I agree. Edward, I think it's about time you and Lauren hit the dance floor." I said to Edward with a raised eyebrow, trying to urge him on. The bet wasn't complete unless he asked her for a proper dance.

"I'm waiting for the right song." Edward said in a voice that almost sounded annoyed and his anger was directed at me. What the hell was he annoyed about now?

I went to the bathroom and when I came back out Edward was surrounded by a sea of women, literally a sea. Lauren was hanging on to his arm and the rest of the women were all trying to get his attention while they chatted away freely.

The evening dragged on and Carlisle kept me attached to his side and we talked to all kinds of people. I actually had an amazing time listening to Carlisle speak with authority and politeness at the same time and contributing to the conversation whenever I could. Carlisle would occasionally give me a bright smile or squeeze my hand on his arm a little when he would feel me tense up to something someone said and I would feel comfortable again.

I caught Edward looking at me a few times and once gave him an upward nod with my head, asking him what's up. He just shook his head and went back to talking to the voluptuous blond next to him.

Another hour or so passed and the place around me transformed to more of a night club kind of mode. The dance floor was packed full of people dancing together in their drunken states and the music was quite loud. Jasper and Alice came over and asked if I wanted a ride home since they were going to take off a bit early. It was difficult to hear anything over the music so we were all almost shouting to be heard. I was feeling pretty beat up so I took them up on their offer. Jasper and Alice went out to get the car while I said goodbye to Carlisle with a big hug and lots of "thank you"s for the wonderful time.

I tried to see if I could say bye to Edward but he was busy trying to keep up with the chatter of all the women around him. I tried to catch Edward's eye but he wasn't looking this way. I decided I would just tease him the next day about losing the bet. I figured he had realized what Alice and I did and knew that there was no way there was going to be a proper dance with all the lust in the air between him and Lauren.

The music was quite loud by now and I walked all the way around the packed dance floor to get to the main entrance. When I was on my way I thought I heard my name so looked around the crowd to see who was calling me but I couldn't see anyone I knew. So I turned and had almost reached the main gate when the music stopped altogether suddenly in the middle of a song. I stopped and looked at the people around me to see what was going on but they were all looking up at the stage now. Then I heard his voice on the microphone, echoing across the whole place.

"Isabella Swan."

My eyes were wide as saucers as I turned around to see what the hell the boy was up to this time.

Edward was standing in the middle of the large stage. The band was surrounding him but they had stopped playing. Edward was looking straight at me.

"You dared me to dance with the most beautiful girl in the party. I can't do that if she leaves before I have a chance to ask her."

Huh?

Every single person in the room turned their eyes towards where Edward was looking. Yup, _everyone_. And he was looking at me. So everyone was looking at me.

And then some idiot had the bright idea to turn a spotlight from the dance floor on to me. I looked towards some of the people I had talked to earlier in the evening and gave them a small smile. Then I looked at Edward and gave him a death glare. If he didn't like the bet why didn't he just say so? Did he have to humiliate me like this?

He then walked down to where I was standing. The whole crowd followed his movements as he jumped off the stage and literally parted for him as he made his way to where I was.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him through gritted teeth when he was close enough so no one else could hear what I was saying. I think it was a lost case though, since the entire place was silent and everyone's attention was on us. I glanced at the band wishing they'd start playing again but they too were looking at us.

Edward furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What?"

"Edward, if you didn't want to take the bet you could just have said so. This is a sick way of getting back at me." I spoke to him but kept looking at the faces around us, who were all still very much interested in what was going on.

Now Edward looked really confused.

"What the hell are you talking about? Why would I be getting back at you? I am following through with your stupid bet if you'll just let me finish asking you to dance."

"The bet was to ask Lauren!" I said with gritted teeth.

"The hell it was. I was there, you _said_ the most beautiful girl in the room."

"Yes, that _I _would pick. And I picked Lauren."

"Well you need to get your eyesight checked. That was a bullshit choice."

"Not it wasn't and you know it. Why are you humiliating me in front of all these people." I had the urge to smack him or something but he looked like he didn't give a crap about the people around us and was talking to me as if we were back in his living room or something.

"My God Isabella. I'm not humiliating you. It's not _my_ fucking fault that you are more beautiful than anyone else in this place. Why'd you have to wear that fucking dress if you didn't want to look good?" Edward raised his voice as he said this, as his irritation flared, and everyone definitely heard _that_.

Through my haze of fury at everyone around us having heard that, the meanings of his words somehow crashed on me. _Wait a minute, he's serious?_

I frowned a little at him then I looked to where Lauren was standing with her friends, all of them looking at me like they were wanting to murder me at that very moment. I looked around a little more and noticed that every other girl in the room was giving me death glares too.

I looked back at Edward. "You're kidding me right?"

Now he looked thoroughly pissed. "Are you going to dance with me or just leave me hanging just 'cause you want to win the stupid bet?"

"I will win the bet if you don't dance with _Lauren_." I tried to remind him again.

"Once again, you will win if I don't dance with the most beautiful girl here. Your words, not mine."

As he stood there looking at me, I had my own inner monologue to attend to. Oh my god, did he just announce to this whole place full of people over a microphone that I was _beautiful_? I felt like I might pass out of shame. There's a whole platform full of people who are going to burst out in laughter any moment now because of how outrageous Edward was being.

Edward finally got tired of waiting for me to speak. He just grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the dance floor.

'Edward!' I hissed at him, while still trying to keep smiling at people we passed by.

Once on the floor he turned towards me and brought my hand that he was holding and placed it on his neck, took my other hand in one of his, and put his other hand on my waist. Then he nodded at the band, who started playing and then he started to move.

I didn't really know what to do. The music seemed to break people's fascination with us somewhat and most of them resumed their conversations and dancing but some of them, especially a few groups of girls, kept looking at us and whispering among themselves. I took a deep breath then and looked at Edward.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked him honestly.

"Relax Isabella, you didn't say yes to the dance, so technically, you win." He said in a tight voice. He really didn't see what my problem with this situation was.

"Edward, screw the bet. Why did you have to say that over the microphone?"

"I called for you when I saw you leaving but you didn't hear me."

"But now _everyone_ heard you!"

"Who the fuck cares?"

"I do! They do! You couldn't just have called for me? Why'd you have to say all the other stuff too?"

He threw a steely glance towards Lauren then looked at me. "It's the truth. Everyone should be aware of it."

I looked at him incredulously. "This is about her comment from earlier? Seriously, Edward. I couldn't care less."

"I don't care that you don't care. She and the rest of the fuckers in this place need to get things straight."

I sighed and looked at Lauren over Edward's shoulder. "She didn't say anything wrong. Look at her, she is absolutely and totally beautiful."

Edward didn't take his eyes off me. "Sure. But you are better. She needs to realize that."

Ok, I wasn't even going to address that. It was just _that_ ridiculous. "Look at her nose. It's perfect."

"It's perfectly straight." Then he looked at me meaningfully. "That's not beauty, Isabella."

"Then what is? Enlighten me, Edward." I said in a mock serious tone.

He looked away and smiled. "I'll tell you another day. Now just shut up and let me enjoy my first dance of the evening in peace."

I huffed a little then just swayed along with him. Not like I had any other choice in the matter anyways. Edward's phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out for a second then looked at someone over my shoulder and nodded. I turned to see Carlisle standing there and he gave us a little wave then started to leave through the main gate.

"He said that he told Alice and Jasper I will take you home."

I nodded. Again, apparently I was unable to make any decisions for myself tonight. We danced for a while and I kept my gaze fixed on the buttons of Edward's shirt to avoid meeting the steely glances of the female population of the party who had not lost a bit of interest in Edward and me. Edward however seemed to be completely oblivious to everything around us and that made me even more irritated. He spoke out after a few minutes of silence.

"Really, Isabella. I can't be that bad to look at?"

I looked at him in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"First you think women are incapable of falling for me, now you won't even look at me while you dance with me."

I rolled my eyes and kept moving along with him.

"Could you at least pretend to be enjoying this?" He said in a slightly irritated tone.

"I am enjoying this. Extremely. Because I really love it when an entire place full of people stare at me while I dance." I said in a flat voice.

"You didn't seem to have trouble with the attention earlier, when you were dancing with my father and Jasper." There was a slight edge to his voice and I didn't like his tone one bit.

"Edward! What has gotten into you today?"I asked him incredulously.

That seemed to snap him out of something and he frowned a little. "I don't know."

We danced for some time more and I started relaxing to the music after a while. We both stayed quiet as we danced and I noticed that Edward was actually a pretty good dancer, and his dancing was not unlike his personality. He lead the dance with strong determination but the way he held my hand, the way he swayed us to the music – those things were thoughtful and tender.

The song ended and another one started right away. The band started to play "Have Mercy" by Two Ton Boa and I frowned a little and looked up at Edward.

"What are the chances that they would be playing this song?"I asked him and then tried to get a good look at the band.

Edward made an innocent face. "What do you mean?"

"Edward, I have been listening to that song in my iPod for days now. And it's not like it's really popular or something."

He shrugged a little. "Maybe someone requested for it."

I frowned a little and thought of the odds of that happening. Who in this party would happen to request an obscure song that I just happened to have been obsessed with for days now. My eyes suddenly widened in realization and I looked at Edward incredulously. Why would he do that?

He smirked as he saw my reaction. I tried to pull back a little from him but he took a firm hold of my waist and pulled me to him.

"I'm not done with you yet, Isabella. Stay where you are."

I shook my head a little indignantly but eventually relaxed my body as the beautiful melody of the song rang out around us and Edward swayed us along to it. I stiffened a little when towards the end of the song I felt Edward sigh to the words and place his chin on the top of my head and press my hand that he was holding on to his chest. I concentrated on the song to hear which part made him react like that. I frowned a little to myself as the words rang out.

_Oh baby, can't you see what you've done to me. _

_Oh baby, can't you feel what you've done to me._

_You baby, _

_Have mercy,_

_On me._

**A/N: Links to pictures of the dresses are on my profile. The song they are dancing to is from the "Remember Me" soundtrack and I absolutely love it. **

**To those of you that want to have my head for not giving them a more fluffy wake up scene after the cuddling, just trust me kids. I have reasons for everything that happens in the plot. Ask Jamie, she'll tell you. Or maybe she won't. I hope she doesn't ;) **

**You might want to leave the beast some words of encouragement. The boy had a tough night of realizations where a bunch of things kinda snuck up on him. I think he will explain more to you in the next chapter.**

**The swoony puddle on the chair over there is Jadalulu, my soul-beta. The beast kinda outdid himself with his effect on her this time :D :D Jokes aside, she worked on this baby in warp speed and totally pimped up the morning scene. I can't tell you enough how much I love her. If you are looking for well written stories that stand out from the rest out there, go to her profile for some great recs. The woman knows her quality fanfic.**


	17. I hide because of my scars

"_**Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart."  
**__~ Washington Irving_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

_Thump_.

I threw myself on my bed. With my tux on, shoes on my feet, the lights of my room still turned off since I didn't bother to turn them on when I came in and headed straight for my bed.

I lay on my back, with my legs still dangling over the edge of the bed. I stared at the ceiling for a few seconds then squeezed my eyes shut.

Mercy.

I had asked Isabella to have mercy on me.

I, Edward Cullen had asked a girl to have mercy on me.

I had pressed her close to myself and in every way other than actually uttering those words asked her to not break me. And all because tonight I realized just how deep I had let Isabella in.

I had my first epiphany of the evening when I saw her for the first time tonight. Dad and I had arrived a bit early at the venue and I went over to talk to a few guys from the office when he started talking to some of his friends. And then all of a sudden I turn my head and see the top of her head past Alice's shoulder, standing in a group with Dad and Jasper and a few of Dad's friends. Just from seeing her head, I could see that she was different tonight. The whole place was full of girls who were dressed up in expensive clothes and jewelry and I barely noticed one or two but when she stepped back from the group and I saw her entire outfit something shifted in me. She looked so _different_.

Different from the Isabella that I met every day, more than the lonely girl who was a friend of my family's and who eventually became my first real friend. She looked so different from how she usually looked with her hair tied up and in her scrubs at the hospital when we met for lunch, or at home when she walked around in her sweats and most days wore jeans. To see her suddenly dressed up like that surprised me. Because I realized for the first time when I saw her in that red dress that didn't stick to her like the ones on most other girls, that she was extraordinarily beautiful compared to other women at the place.

She was looking around the entire place with wonder in her eyes but like always there was no judgment in them. And then our eyes had met and she had waved at me excitedly and I had to chuckle at the innocence of her action. And it made me feel a little proud that she got so happy when she saw me.

It felt ridiculously odd that she and I weren't together all evening. That she was with my Dad and I was with Lauren. It was the first time we were both dressed up so much at a place like that and I wanted to spend the evening with her. I knew that if it had been Isabella by my side instead of Lauren, I would actually have enjoyed being at the place. We would have made wise ass comments about people to each other, snapped at each other, laughed together and at each other. But then I saw that she was having a great time with my Dad anyways while I was miserable with Lauren, which did nothing to help my annoyance with the whole night.

Instead of spending what could have been a great evening with Isabella, I was stuck with Lauren fucking Mallory and had to listen to her mindless chatter all evening. So many times I had the urge to tell her to fuck the hell off (which is what I would have done at any other occasion) but I couldn't because of the goddamn bet. For some fucking reason Isabella thought I was incapable of acting like a normal guy with girls. I mean, her face when she had said that. Jeez! How bad did I come off as?

It's not that I hadn't been aware of the fact that Isabella and my friendship was deepening. Of course I was. In the beginning, I had thought and rethought this over and over again. The first few weeks when we had only met for lunch, I doubted myself all the time. Was this a good idea? What if she just fucks me over, like everyone else does? I thought and thought in circles in my head while we continued to meet for lunch. And eventually, our friendship just kind of took off and I decided that I was being too paranoid, even by my own standards. She had done absolutely nothing to make me doubt her and I _wanted_ to spend time with her. Never before had I ever felt the willingness to get to know another person in this way.

Eventually the family had become aware of our growing friendship and I was glad because that meant we could spend more time being "friends" than only meeting for lunch. And things had been going great since then. We met continued meeting for lunch but also spent time together with the family. We cooked for the rest of the lazy fuckers when we felt up to it, played that godawful board game at which I had now started to intentionally cheat just to get her all hot and bothered, went out with Sophie frequently. And then in the evenings when she stayed over she always played the piano and I read in the music room while listening to her and gave her critique on her playing which she of course hated.

But then tonight, I realized just how deep I was in with her.

I was taken aback by how beautiful she looked.

I was impressed at the grace with which she carried herself as she clung to my father's arm and talked effortlessly with senators and business tycoons that she had never met before.

I was floored by how intelligent she was and didn't even have to blink twice while debating all kinds of topics, from politics to philosophy with middle aged men and just how knowledgeable she was.

I was frozen when I saw her dance with my father as he twirled her around the dance floor, with her red dress flowing around her waist, her head thrown back in laughter, her hair flying around her. I had looked around the room at that moment, to all the other girls who wore dresses and jewelry that were much more expensive than hers, with hairdos that had probably taken half a day to put together, women who had spent fortunes into improving their looks. And not one other person had come _anywhere_ close to the glow she had around her as her eyes sparkled with happiness. And I had realized that she was easily more beautiful by leaps and bounds than anyone else in that place.

At that moment I had decided that if I was going to dance that night, it would be with Isabella. The happiness and the beauty that she held at that moment was the exact opposite of everything that my life had been until this point. It was ridiculous, but I was jealous of Dad at that moment because he got to be near her and feel those things seeping out of her. Lauren was standing next to me blabbering about something and I wasn't listening to a word she was saying.

Then after they had gotten their drinks she had continued to talk to some of Dad's friends and I decided to give her some time while I set up the request for that song that she had been listening to for days now to be played when I would ask her to dance. She had still been talking to them when I was done and Lauren and Co. had attacked me again so I decided to let them yammer on while I waited for her to be done.

When I had finally gotten around to asking her she was kinda pissed even though I couldn't understand for the life of me what pissed her off. She kept complaining about other people hearing what I had said about her being beautiful and didn't see my point when I told her that skanks like Lauren need to realize that just 'cause they had perfect boob jobs and nose jobs didn't mean they were beautiful. She still didn't see my point so I decided to screw the gentleman act and dragged her to the dance floor.

It was when I had pressed her to myself at the dance floor that I started feeling it. I felt vulnerable and exposed. To her. Here I was, Edward Cullen, who would normally go through one of these balls with minimum amount of interest, who would barely register whatever the fuck was going around him, who would probably spend most of the evening smoking out by the water away from all the other people that would just piss me off. But with Isabella pressed to me and dancing along with my lead, I realized I had actually spent the entire evening watching her and observing her. I had let her take over my thoughts. I had felt a variety of emotions, from awe to admiration to jealousy to irritation, all dedicated to this girl huffing and puffing in my arms 'cause I had called her beautiful. And at that moment I had realized that I had let her in too deep. And as much as my head told me to get the fuck out and run before she ripped me apart in pieces, I just couldn't do that anymore. Because I wanted that glow and that happiness. I wanted her to infect me with it just like she had infected my Dad when he was dancing next to her.

And so the only thing I could do was beg her to not break me. Because I was letting her in and I was giving her the ability to rip me apart if she wanted.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I don't know when I drifted off to sleep but I woke up the next morning with a loud banging on my door. I squinted and looked at my door because _that_ had never happened before. The banging stopped for a second then started again with new force and was much louder this time. What the fuck!

I threw away my covers and jumped off the bed, sprinting to the door and yanking it open. Isabella drew back her fists that she was pounding on the door with and held them up in the air for a second as she recovered from the surprise of the door opening so fast.

"Yipppeeeeeeeeeee." I looked down to see Sophie emerge from beside Isabella and by-pass me to run into my room. She ran straight for my bed and started jumping up and down on it like it was a freaking trampoline.

I looked back at Isabella who was still standing outside the door. She wore a tank top and jeans and her hair was up in a high pony tail. I noticed that compared to last night, when her clothes and make up had made her look quite mature, she looked very young and peppy in her outfit today.

"What on earth is going on?" I tried to make my voice sound irritated because of the intrusion.

"We are going to the zooooooooo!" Sophie squealed out as she continued to jump. From the enthusiasm in her voice you'd think we _hadn't_ spent every single freaking weekend at that place since the day she was born. I swear to god the kid was a monkey or a giraffe in her past life or something.

I looked at Isabella in confusion. "Get over it, Edward. You are taking us to the zoo and that's that. Now, you have exactly 17 minutes to get dressed while we jump on your bed."

"What?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, you mind?" She said with a slight tilt to her head that made her pony go tilted too and nodded towards the bed.

"No, of course not. Why would I mind? I only sleep on the thing and of course don't care that you people bring all your germs into it. By all means." I waved with my hand towards the bed in a sarcastic gesture.

She clearly didn't get my sarcasm because she squealed just like Sophie had done and ran for the bed and literally jumped down on it. They took each other's hands and Isabella sat still on the bed while Sophie jumped around her. I walked closer to the bed and tried to catch Isabella's eye.

"If you don't mind terribly, can I ask why exactly we decided to jump on my bed out of all places in the world this morning?"

"Because it's only fair since you slept an entire night in mine." Then she let go of Sophie's hand and looked at me for a second. "At least _I_ asked your permission to get into your room and your bed first. Also, because I'm still angry with you about last night. Now go get ready." She reached back for Sophie, waiting for her to start jumping again, but she wouldn't budge.

Sophie's eyes widened instantly. "What did you _do _to make her angry now, Edward?"

I rolled my eyes. "_Rien. J'ai dit qu'elle est belle_." Sophie's eyes lit up and she smiled a huge smile as I told her that I had only said that Isabella was beautiful.

"Why are you angry about that, Bella?" Sophie asked all wide eyed.

"Yeah. Why are you angry about that, Bella?" I mimicked Sophie.

Isabella's head snapped towards mine and she got a strange look in her eyes for a second. She quickly recovered herself and looked at Sophie again.

"Um, I'm not angry sweetie. Edward, go get ready."

When I came back out from my shower Bella and Sophie were still on my bed. Bella was half-lying on the edge, leaning on her elbow and her legs dangling outside while Sophie was lying on the bed facing Bella. They were talking in whispers and as I ran the towel through my hair I strained my ears a little to hear what they were saying but couldn't make anything out. I cleared my throat and both of them turned to look at me.

"Hey, Edward. What's through that door?" Bella pointed at the door to the dark room.

"It's his dark castle. There are dragons there. No one's allowed to go in." Sophie volunteered. I rolled my eyes.

"It's a dark room for developing my photographs. And Sophie is correct, no one's allowed there."

Now Bella rolled her eyes and bounced off the bed then bent down to grab Sophie and picked her up in her arms.

"No way! Oh, Edward, please pretty please can't we go in your special room and stay there all day?" She said in a sarcastic sing-song voice while she carried Sophie out of the room and down the hallway outside.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Sophie and I came downstairs after I was convinced that I had invaded on Edward's private space enough to get back at him for the last week. There was the whole forcibly breaking into my apartment and my room and taking over my kitchen thing, and then there was last night. I, however, was not at all satisfied by his reaction. I had expected him to throw a fit and sling our behinds out of his bed and room but he had just watched us in amusement then gone to take a shower as I had ordered. Then I practically lay down on his bed while he was in the shower thinking he would flip out at least at that but that hadn't happened either. So finally I just decided to stop trying to get on Edward's nerves and we came downstairs.

When we came to the kitchen Carlisle was sitting by the island sipping his coffee and reading his morning paper. He looked up and smiled brightly at me and Sophie, who was still in my arms.

"Good morning, ladies. What adventures have you two been cooking up this fine Saturday morning?"

"Why would you think we did any such thing?" I asked with innocent eyes.

He got up from his stool and came to stand in front of us and poked Sophie on the nose. "I can tell from the brightness in this one's eyes. She is definitely excited about something."

At that moment Edward walked into the kitchen and Sophie answered Carlisle simultaneously.

"WejumpedonEdward'." Sophie said in one breath and I giggled at her excitement.

Carlisle raised an eyebrow at Edward. "_We_ jumped on Edward's bed? I thought no one was allowed in your room."

Edward had changed into dark jeans and a v-neck white t-shirt, with a white gold Rolex on his wrist. He shrugged as he went over to the fridge to pull out a carton of juice.

"I was invaded. And the invaders had good reasons to back up the intrusion." He glanced at me slightly before taking a sip of his juice.

Sophie made her way out the French doors that led to the back garden and started playing on the grass there and Edward followed her after a few moments. He sat down next to her on the grass and they started playing some sort of a game with their hands and their fingers. I watched them for a few minutes before turning to look at Carlisle who was once again focused on his newspaper.

"Sophie hasn't had any attacks for a while now." I said in a soft voice, hoping he wouldn't mind me talking to him about this. I had been wondering about that for a while and decided to ask Carlisle about it.

He looked up from the paper a little taken aback by the sudden change in the mood then his eyes searched for Sophie instinctively. He relaxed a little when he caught sight of the two of them outside and then turned his eyes back to me.

"No she hasn't."

"Has she had any while I haven't been in the house?" I asked him. He put down the newspaper and took off his glasses and looked at her with a slight smile.

"No, she hasn't had any since the last time when Edward took her to you." He said and I went over to the island to sit opposite to Carlisle.

"She has never gone this long without an attack before." He said a little wistfully and I felt a little bit of his sadness, which I could tell was coming from memories of her attacks.

"Is something wrong?" I asked him while I looked at Sophie with worried eyes.

Carlisle looked at me in wonder. "No, darling. Can't you see? Something's _right_."

I gave him a blank look. He searched my face for a few seconds. "You really have no idea, do you?"

He shook his head a little and continued when I wouldn't say anything.

"Isabella, do you know what a Saturday morning around here was like before you came along?"

He paused for a second as we both turned our heads outside at the sound of a shriek coming from Sophie. She had Edward pinned down on the ground and was tickling him, and he was pretending to be at her mercy and she was throwing her head back in victorious laughter. Carlisle took a deep breath before continuing.

"Sophie would normally sleep until around noon because she would have been up all night with an attack. And that would have been because Edward usually went out on Friday nights and created a scene when he came home. Sophie's panic attacks are always linked to the mood in the house. When things get very tensed she picks up on it and it triggers her. And Edward would usually wake up Saturday morning and spend the entire day trying to make it up to her and the two of them would sit together in her room and whisper to each other all day and she would finally agree to come downstairs towards the evening."

I kept my eyes at Sophie and felt them fill with tears at the images that Carlisle had just provided. I wished I could go back in time and take away every one of their bad nights. I suddenly felt Carlisle's finger on my cheek, wiping away a tear that I didn't realize had slipped out. When I looked at him he was smiling at me.

"Isabella, everything in this house has changed since you and Edward became friends. Just like I had always known it would have, your friendship has been so good for him. He feels like he has someone who understands him and is on his side, and so he no longer feels the need to pick up a fight with the rest of the world at all times. It's no longer him against all the rest of us. He has diverted his energies into your friendship and it has lit him up from the inside. I haven't had to bail him out of jail, Jasper hasn't been hospitalized trying to break up one of his fights. He has been relaxed at home. And the times when you are here, this entire house lights up. I hear laughter in different corners of the house. I see how Sophie's eyes shine as she looks up at you when you pick her up. I see how Edward's eyes become calm when the two of you share a look.

And this happiness, this calm you have brought to this house has had this effect on Sophie's attacks. Now I'm no doctor, but you tell me if I'm wrong."

I didn't know what to say. He was giving me so much credit. So much credit. I mean, yeah of course I noticed the changes in the house from my earlier visits here. But I just always thought that when I had first met the Cullens, the tense atmosphere in the house was because of Edward's hatred towards me. But Carlisle was telling me that it had always been like that and while all this time I had believed that I had caused that tense atmosphere in the beginning, he was telling me that I had actually contributed to taking it away.

And I just wanted to scream and tell Carlisle that this was nothing. If he was in fact correct and I was the reason for the tranquility at his home, it was such a small thing to do on my part. It was so so small compared to what the Cullens had given me. I wish I could just tell him that.

Instead I took Carlisle's lead and continued watching Sophie's attacks on a helpless Edward giggling away on the grass.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Carlisle and I had been sitting there for a while when we heard the gravel crunch under the tires of a car outside and I went up to the window to see Alice and Jasper's Porsche pulling up outside. Carlisle hugged them both when they came in and then went outside to play along with Edward and Sophie. Edward got tired of being ganged up on and decided to join us in the kitchen instead, but the poor guy was out of luck. Alice launched into attack mode as soon as he stepped through the French doors.

"Pay up, bitch. You lost." Alice jumped out of her stool and stood in front of him, with a her palm outstretched.

He gave her a level look. "First of all, even if I had lost, you wouldn't be the one I'd be paying. Second of all, I didn't lose. I danced with the most beautiful girl and acted like a gentleman all evening."

"Bullshit. You did no such thing. Don't think for a second I didn't know what was going on there even if we left early. You only danced with Isabella. So shut it and pay up." She waved her palm in the air to emphasize her point. I groaned internally because I did not like where this was going.

"Did you leave your brain in the underworld today, Alice? You just said so yourself. I danced with Isabella. So I didn't lose."

"But we said you had to dance with Lauren." Alice looked at me gave me a confused look.

"Well, it's not my fault you two need your eye sights checked. She was clearly not the most beautiful girl at that place." Edward side stepped her and went for the coffee.

Alice still kept looking at me in a confused way and I quickly averted my eyes from her. But my eyes fell on Jasper instead whose eyes were wide and sparkling as he looked at me then at Edward.

"You thought Isabella was the most beautiful girl in the ball?" Jasper asked with a little too much enthusiasm.

I groaned and made a move to leave but Alice came behind me and grabbed my arm. "Damn it, why'd you agree to dance with him then? You totally made us lose!"

_That_ was her problem with this situation? She wasn't even going to refute the fact that Edward's claim was ridiculous?

"Well, technically, she didn't really _agree_. But I don't care. I don't give a fuck about what you all think. I won, anyways." Edward said and shrugged his shoulder.

"Wait, what? You didn't agree? You have a problem with that?" Jasper said as he gave me a confused look and I really hoped Sophie would just demand that we leave for the zoo right then so I wouldn't have to have this conversation.

"Well, of course she has a problem with it. No thanks to Mike-cardiothoracic-surgeon-slash-drop-dead-gorgeous-slash-asshat Newton." Alice mumbled beside me and I immediately turned towards her and gave her the most evil look I could muster up.

"Who?" Jasper asked.

"Mike Newton." Alice said in a more clear voice and I tried to kick her but she removed her leg in time.

I tried to go for a distraction maneuver. "Well, this was fun but Edward and I have to take Sophie to the zoo now." I got up and started to walk towards the doors to the garden but Sophie and Carlisle were on their way back to the kitchen now.

"The zoo again? That girl's never going to get tired of it, is she?" Jasper asked.

"Who the hell is Mike Newton?" Edward asked at the same time as Carlisle and Sophie walked in through the door.

"Isabella's ex." Alice said.

Everyone in the room went quiet. I gave Alice another dirty look that said I would have a word with her later. Carlisle had halted his step just inside the door to the kitchen and I caught him glancing towards Edward and I did the same. Edward kept his eyes on the mug in his hand. I picked Sophie up and went upstairs to get ready for the zoo.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Edward and I were sitting on opposite to each other on two benches with a table between us while Sophie rode on the merry-go-round as usual. The ride had just started and was quite long so we decided it was the perfect time to rest our feet. Sophie had given both of us a run for our money in the energy department all day and we were both exhausted. She had discovered the joys of being swung while Edward and I each held one of her arms and had insisted on doing that all day.

I had been thinking about what Carlisle had said earlier that morning. And I was watching Edward closely. And he was right. Edward did seem much more relaxed, much less at odds with the rest of the world, than he had been when we had first met. He had been obsessing as usual with his camera and taking pictures of absolutely everything all day. Even right then, while he sat with his sunglasses tucked in the v-neck of his t-shirt, his legs splayed out under the table, leaning back a little while he fiddled with his camera, he looked every bit like a personification of the relaxing day we'd been having.

"Edward, have you changed since we became friends?" I asked him suddenly and he looked up at me right away. At first he looked a bit confused, like he wondered why I would ask that, then looked down at his camera again and shrugged his shoulders in indifference.

"Why'd you ask that?" He said as he pressed buttons on his camera.

"Well, I asked Carlisle this morning about Sophie's attacks and he said that she hasn't had one since…um…the last time when you guys came to my place. Then he said that you've been…more calm…lately."

He glanced at me once. "I guess."

"Well, is everything like…ok? I mean, did I say something to make you that way?"

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing that I'm calm." He frowned a little as he said this.

"No, that's not what I meant. I just…I want to make sure you don't think that you have to change anything for us to be friends." I said quickly.

And then irritation rose to his face in an instant. "So…what? Now you want me to be angry? You don't think I fight with you enough?"

"No…"I backtracked quickly. "Never mind. Forget I said anything."

We both stayed quiet while Edward huffed a little then finally calmed down.

"So what if I change a little because of you?" He said out of nowhere, in a quiet voice. I looked at him carefully taking in his mood before I replied.

"Well, you shouldn't. For anyone. You are a great person just the way you are." I told him honestly.

"But you said yourself that girls like nicer, kinder, softer." He mimicked me from before.

I chuckled. "Oh! So this is so you can get more girls?" I threw my head back a little and chuckled again, glad that the mood had shifted and he didn't seem to be annoyed anymore.

"You know what Edward, consider yourself the winner of that bet, no matter the outcome of last night. You definitely don't need anyone's help when it comes to the ladies. You seem to have a way with them."

"I don't know about that. It didn't seem to work on you though." He leaned back a little in his seat and gave me a strange look.

I gave him a blank look, trying to understand what he meant. He looked at me for a second then looked down to fiddle with his camera again. "I mean, I literally had to drag you out to the dance floor to get you to dance with me. I wouldn't call that "having a way with the ladies." " He made air quotes for the last part.

"Yeah, but that's irrelevant. I'm not the one you need your charms to work on." I replied in a calm voice.

He glanced up at me one more time. "Yeah."

We went quiet again and I looked at the merry-go-round, waiting for Sophie to come around the corner again so I could wave at her while I peaked at Edward a few times, trying to judge his weird mood. He had been in this weird place since last night and I thought he was going to come off it this morning but it didn't seem to go away.

First there were the weird looks he kept throwing at me all evening last night, then there was the dance, then this morning when he didn't react to us being in his room, and now he was talking to me about girls. In the past months that Edward and I had spent I don't know how many hours talking about so many things not once had he ever talked to me about girls in that way. So as comfortable as our conversations were when we discussed other topics, I felt a little uncertain as to how much he wanted to discuss his love life with me and I was afraid of overstepping my boundaries and making him regret opening up that part of him to me.

I was deep in thought when Edward again surprised me with his forwardness. "Tell me about Mike Newton."

I gave him an incredulous look. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because I have run out of topics to discuss with you." He said with a sarcastic tone but gave me a look that said he really did want to talk about this.

I sighed. "What do you want to know?"

"Tell me something important." He said and I had seen that look in his eyes before. He got that glint of wonderment whenever he asked me something that he was really very interested to know about. And I also knew that when he got that way there was no refusing him.

"I fell in love with him." There. That was important.

"But he didn't want me." I flinched a little as I tried to take the sting away from what repeating that to myself for a millionth time felt like.

Edward looked at me with a frown. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly that."

His frown deepened. "Why wouldn't he want you?"

I shrugged with one shoulder. "He likes pretty girls."

"And?" Edward leaned forward a little, as if waiting for me to finish the sentence.

"So…he likes _pretty_ girls." I repeated.

His eyes went wide as saucers and he got a very determined look. "Tell me the whole story." He said like it was an order and I didn't have any choice in the matter.

"Edward, it's in the past." I tried to deflect.

"If you are still affected by it then it is obviously not in the past."

"It's just the scars. You can't shake them off even if you want to." I half shrugged.

He looked at me intently for a few seconds. "Then I want to see the scars." He demanded.

I looked away and gave out a half-chuckle as I shook my head in disbelief. I looked back at him and his eyes were fixed on mine.

Well, he already knew almost everything about me and I definitely knew more than enough about him. So what harm could this do really.

"Fine." I said and took in a deep breath.

"Well, I wasn't really attracted to him at first. He wasn't my type. But I was lonely and he was right there. One day I decided why not. I thought I would only regret it if I didn't give it a try." I stopped and chuckled at my idiocy back then.

I started by doing small things to become his friend. And he gladly accepted my friendship. He was lonely too, I could see it in him. In his eyes. And we became very good friends and we spent a lot of our time at work together. I ran to him whenever he asked for me. We both stayed late in the evenings to just sit and talk for hours. He told me about his family and I told him about mine. We had both come from small towns with average parents and were trying to make something of ourselves in the world of medicine. And we both wondered aloud about just how similar our lives were, how similar our families were, how similar we were.

Then as we knew each other closer, I started to like him. He was very happy to have such a close friend, to have someone who showered him with so much attention and he made sure I knew that he was glad.

He was alone on thanksgiving and I asked him to come to Forks with me. And during that trip, while he sat in my couch next to my mother, both of their faces alight while they shared their common love for baseball and spoke passionately about it, I sat in a couch across the room and watched them. I watched how he laughed from the bottom of his heart, like I had never seen him do before at the hospital. And he looked at me and we shared a smile, like an old married couple, like we were both telling each other something without speaking a single word, both of our eyes sparkling. And I gave him my heart at that moment.

When we got back from Forks, he had changed. He stopped caring what the other people at the hospital thought about us hanging out together so much and would just show up at a meeting and ask me to come with him or buy snacks for the entire staff and say it was from the both of us. One day he bought me a bottle of perfume and gave it to me wrapped in a silver packet with a silver bow in the middle of the nurses' station while everyone around us exchanged knowing glances.

One Saturday I was out with a friend and he kept sending text after text asking where I was and what I was doing and whether or not I was coming to the hospital. I told him I was going to this museum exhibit with a friend and he said he was going to show up there too. I decided that day that this couldn't go on like this any longer and we needed to talk about what was going on between us.

But I was too shy to talk to him about it in his face. I had never had a boyfriend before and I was inexperienced, so I sent him a text saying I thought we should talk and I asked him if he knew what we I thought we should talk about, hoping he would bring it up himself. But he texted me saying I was scaring him and needed to tell him what was going on. So I sent him an e-mail explaining how I felt. I told him that I didn't usually get so close to people and that I liked him.

He answered right away saying we should meet the next day and talk about it. And he asked me to meet him at the hospital cafeteria. And there he told me that he was shocked to see my e-mail because he had never thought of me in that way. And I sat there and listened as he told me that he only saw me as a friend. And I sat there and tried to figure out how I had been so wrong in reading his signs. And then he told me that he had a little bit of an idea that I might have been interested in him in that way but he thought I'd come to my senses sooner or later.

That is where things got messy. He turned me down but he didn't let me go. Or maybe I didn't let him go. Who knows. But he insisted that we stayed like we were before so he could keep an eye on me and make sure I was ok. I accepted his offer.

I accepted his offer because I couldn't let the whole thing just go, because I was in shock. All my life, I had never opened my heart to anyone and I had built up such grand notions of love in my mind. I was always convinced that it would come to me once I opened up to it. And while he told me those things sitting in that busy cafeteria, I went into shock and denial because my heart wouldn't let me believe that I would love someone with all of me and that wouldn't be enough.

He continued to drag me along because he was in fact lonely even if he didn't want me in that way. And after a few months I got tired of it all and asked him why he was doing this. And he never gave me a straight answer. He constantly changed his reasons for why he didn't want this. Then one day he slipped up. He said: "Don't get me wrong. I mean, the beauty thing doesn't really matter to me too much, so I don't really care that you're not that pretty."

The hundreds of conversations I had shared with the man and that one sentence is what I took with me from that year of my life. He didn't mean it in a bad way. I know that. But it served its purpose.

I have always been realistic about my looks. I do own mirrors and I do have eyes to see other women around me. But him admitting that despite of how lonely he was and how badly he wanted someone in his life and despite of our connection he couldn't say yes to me because I didn't look better, that kind of drove the point home.

Mike Newton showed to me that it didn't matter that I did everything right and I wanted something from the bottom of my heart with good intentions. It didn't matter how much I loved. None of it meant anything. I do realize that he did me a favor by showing me the truth of things, how things worked in reality. But then, I look at my mother, and I see how Charlie preserves that innocence in her, how he has done it for 30 years. And I know that if it had been the right person, he would have done the same for me. So there is something inside of me that Mike Newton broke that Charlie has spent an entire lifetime protecting my mother from. And I just wish that whatever it was, hadn't been broken."

I turned to look Edward in the eyes. "I gave him the naïve innocence of my first love and he didn't want it. And it all went to waste. That's where the scars are from."

Edward looked away from me and let out a deep breath as he looked up at the sky.

"You let some asshole tell you you're not good looking enough to be with him." He said like it was a statement. I stayed quiet.

He still wouldn't look at me and just shook his head from side to side as he looked ahead. Then something struck him and he turned towards me.

"So that's why you were so upset when I said you were the most beautiful girl in the ball? 'Cause you thought I was full of shit?"

I gave him a level look that said "Duh".

Edward looked away from me again and gave out a dry half-chuckle as he shook his head in disbelief. I don't know what his problem was. What was so hard to get.

"Isabella, do you remember what I said yesterday, about Lauren's nose?"

"That it's perfectly straight."

"Yes, and what did I say afterwards?"

I made a face and looked away because I know what he said and I didn't agree with him.

"Ok, I can see that the asshole has done enough damage which will take me years to undo." He grumbled and I threw him an incredulous look and made to get up from the bench and walk away before we got into a fight. Edward however grabbed my forearm and yanked me so I was turned towards him.

"I am going to enlighten you right now, Isabella. You see, Mike Newton is the kind of guy who thinks the perfect straightness of Lauren's nose is what beauty is. But what people like him and Lauren don't realize is that beauty sits in not the actual shape of the nose. Lauren often crinkles her nose when she sees some girl on the street wearing synthetic fabric, she scratches the bridge of her nose to show off her manicured fingernails or to make an overt gesture towards a guy. But you know how you use yours? Yours crinkles up right in the middle when you laugh from your heart at something ridiculous Sophie says, and your nostrils flare when I piss you off, and you scratch your nose absentmindedly when you are unsure of something, like what we should order for lunch. And because you are my friend and I get to know those things about you that other people don't, each of those things are special and give your nose beauty. And all this would have been true even if the shape of your nose wasn't fucking perfect even without all the 28 000 nose jobs Lauren has done on hers."

I stood there looking at him dumbfoundedly after he finished his little rant. He held on to my forearm for a few more seconds then suddenly let it go and picked up his camera again. I didn't know what to say so I went back to my seat opposite to him and kept my eyes on the merry-go-round with a slight frown on my brows. _What_ was the deal with Edward today?

Sophie's ride finally ended and she came running towards the bench and hopped up on the seat next to me.

"Did you guys see me? I was flying with the horsie!" She said as she always did after this particular ride and I smiled as I put the straw through the hole of a juice box and handed it to her. I smoothed down her hair that had gone all kinds of crazy while she sipped her drink.

"Yes we did! Did you have fun, sweetie?" I asked.

"Oh, sooooooooo much! Can we come again tomorrow?" She asked with big eyes and I chuckled.

"We'll see."

She sat with her legs dangling back and forth under the table then looked at Edward and saw him taking pictures of a nearby flower bush. "Edward, can you take a picture of me and Bella?"

He lowered his camera and looked at us. "_Mais oui Princesse_. No problem for me, but I'm not sure your fairy will be very excited about that." He said the last part leaned towards her and in a mocking whisper.

"Why? Please Bella? I want to make T-shirts for us with a picture of us on it." She said with an excited look.

Edward groaned. "Oh man, now _I_ have problem with this. I'll take the picture as long as you promise I don't have to walk around wearing a shirt with the two of you on it."

Sophie made her big bumble-bee eyes at him. "Why Edward? Don't you love us?"

I had to laugh at that and the look on his face. "Yeah, Edward. Don't you love us?" I mimicked Sophie and also tried to make the big bumble-bee eyes at him.

Edward leaned back in his seat a little and looked at Sophie. "Well, one of you I definitely do. The second one kind of gets on my nerves though."

I mock gasped at him. "Are you saying Sophie gets on your nerves?"

_Hah_. He definitely didn't see that one coming. While he tried to recover from the shock of my comment Sophie almost had tears in her eyes as she looked at him in disbelief. He noticed that and then glared at me.

"Isabella, cut it out. _Chérie_, she is joking. Of course I love you. I was talking about her." He pointed at me as he reached for Sophie.

"But you have to love your fairy too!" Sophie said in an indignant voice. His hands fell on the table and he looked at me and gave me an irritated look for starting this.

"Okkkk….hey, Edward. How 'bout that picture? Really, I'm kind of getting tired of waiting here." I picked Sophie up and placed her on my lap and tried to pose for Edward's camera to distract her from the conversation.

He took a few pictures of us in various poses and Sophie and I got quite goofy after a while but he kept snapping. Then finally an elderly man who was walking by stopped next to us.

"Would you like me to take a picture of the three of you together?" He said with a friendly smile directed at me and Sophie then at Edward.

"No, that's ok." Edward said quickly and at the same time Sophie yelled, "Yes!"

The man laughed a little. "Looks like this little one would like her Dad to be in the picture too."

The light left both Edward and Sophie's eyes at the same moment but none of them said anything or moved an inch.

"Would you mind terribly? We would love one of the three of us." I said to the man and Edward gave me a look but him and Sophie would still not look at each other.

I got up and placed Sophie in Edward's arms and sat next to him. Sophie immediately hid her face in Edward's shoulder and he held on to her tight while he handed the camera to the man and showed him how to zoom and where to click. The man then went to the other side of the bench and started clicking pictures of the three of us, but Sophie wouldn't look up from Edward's shoulder anymore.

"What happened, little one? Changed your mind about the family picture?" The man taking the pictures said with a smile.

I leaned towards Edward's shoulder and whispered to Sophie. "Hey, Sophie. Look at the camera, sweetie. I want to be able to see both my prince and my princess in the picture."

She didn't move and Edward sighed.

"You know what, if we have one of the three of us I bet Edward will wear a t-shirt with that picture. And we could all get matching colors this time too."

She moved and slowly lifted her head from Edward's shoulder and looked at the camera. But she still looked sad. So I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her round cheek.

"I love you, little bumble-bee." I whispered to her for the first time ever and that made a smile break out on her face. Edward's eyes lit up when he saw her smile and he leaned down towards her too and kissed her other cheek.

"I love you too." He whispered to her like I did earlier.

She kept looking at the camera and her smile grew even bigger. "I love you, three." She said and she looked at each of us. Edward and I shared a smile then each of us leaned forward and kissed her on either cheek at the same time.

Edward thanked the man when he handed him the camera back and started browsing through the pictures. I was still sitting close to him as the three of us leaned forward and looked at the many pictures that the man had taken. Finally Edward came to the last picture where we were both kissing Sophie's cheeks which were round like tomatoes because of her ridiculously wide smile.

"We are soooooooooooooooooooo beautiful." Sophie said in a matter of fact voice that reminded me so much of Alice that I started to chuckle and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

Edward looked down at me with a raised eyebrow and I knew what he was thinking of. Even I couldn't argue with this one.

"I guess we are." I said with a wide smile at Sophie and a shrug at him.

**A/N: As always, I love my beta, Jadalulu. I highly doubt that I would have continued this far on without her by my side. She always floors me with the faith she has in this story. I am grateful to her for that and for all the thought and effort she puts into critiquing this for me. Love ya, Jamie.**


	18. Sparkle in his eyes

"_**He that is not jealous is not in love."**_

_~St. Augustine_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Edward, Sophie and I sat there on the bench for a long time, browsing through our pictures over and over again. Edward would go through all the pictures once and then Sophie would yell "Again!" and he would chuckle and repeat the whole process. Sophie was still sitting on Edward's lap and I was sitting next to the two of them, leaning over Edward's shoulder to look at the pictures in the display of his camera.

The sun had set by then and while Edward and Sophie were both wearing full sleeves I was in my tank top and hadn't brought a sweatshirt with me. So when it started to get chilly I felt goosebumps rise on my skin and rubbed my arms a little. The side that was close to Edward was getting some of his heat and it felt better, so I scooted in the bench closer to him so it could stay warmer. Edward noticed me rubbing my other arm and looked at me.

"You didn't bring something to wear on top of that?"

I shook my head while still glancing at the pictures. He looked at me for a few seconds and then just as I was about to ask him what his problem was he wiggled one of his arms from around Sophie and wrapped it around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. I went a little stiff at first but then the warmth felt so nice that I just wiggled in closer as we kept looking through the pictures.

"Bella, should we have this one on our shirts?" Sophie pointed to a picture of her and me sticking our tongues out to the camera, and consequently at Edward.

"But I thought we are going to have one with the three of us." I told her.

She rolled her eyes at me. The five year old kid just rolled her eyes at me. "We can make more than one kind, Bella." She said like she was talking to someone stupid. I felt Edward's chest shaking in a silent chuckle and bumped him a little with the corner of my shoulder.

And then suddenly, Sophie turned all the way in Edward's lap to face both of us.

"Oooo, I know! We can print pictures of us on _all_ our clothes. Then we can remember each other every day!"

I wrinkled my nose and smiled at the same time at her. "We don't need pictures on our clothes to remember each other, sweetie. I have you right here." And I pointed to my heart.

Her eyes widened and she looked at Edward uncertainly then back at me. "You have me in your heart?" She whispered in a voice that was full of hope.

I sat frozen for a moment at how intensely she reacted to something I said so casually. My heart clenched at how much she appreciated being loved by me. Even after so much time had passed and I thought that she knew how much I cared for her, she surprised me at times when she reacted strongly to some of my affections. It was so clear that she wasn't used to being loved by too many people and it broke my heart that she saw it as such a privilege to have my love. She was five years old, for god's sake. She should take being loved for granted!

Edward probably felt my shock so he leaned down a little towards her and kissed her forehead while he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Of course she does, _princesse_. Her heart is full of you."

Sophie gave me a shy but expectant look. That broke my trance and I smiled at her. "That's very true. My heart is completely full of you."

She smiled brightly and moved from Edward's lap to mine and gave me a tight hug. I hugged her even tighter and Edward moved away a little to give us space. He and I shared a concerned look and I saw that it frustrated him just as much it did me to have her react like this to my affections.

She pulled back and looked at Edward, who was now sitting a little further down the bench, while her tiny arms were still around my neck. Then she looked at me again with hopeful eyes.

"What about Edward? Don't you have any place left for him?"

I looked at Edward and gave out a nervous chuckle. I expected him to chuckle back and say some smartass comment but his body suddenly went all stiff and his face was drained of all emotions. I kept looking at him to see if this had upset him. Sophie had noticed how close Edward and I were now and she had been making many such comments lately. I always laughed it off or agreed in order to appease her but seeing him react like this now, maybe he didn't take it as lightly as I did. Maybe he didn't like it that Sophie put him in that position.

Sophie was still looking at me expectantly. I gave her a big smile as I said, "Of course I do. I have place for each of my princes and princesses." I looked at Edward to see if he was ok with that and saw him look away and sigh a little.

We sat there for a few more minutes while Edward stared out at the crowd and Sophie and I played a game of I-Spy until suddenly Edward's face stiffen as his look fixed on something ahead of him. I turned from Sophie in my lap to follow his gaze and saw a well-built tall woman with red hair walking up to us. She had a slight smirk on her face as she held Edward's gaze, who had by now gotten up from the bench and started walking towards her.

"What are you doing here?" He asked as she reached out and hugged him.

"You wouldn't answer your phone so I called your house. Carlisle said you were busy at the zoo so I decided to see what was keeping you so busy." Then she broke his gaze and looked at me and Sophie. I felt Sophie go stiff in my arms.

"Hi, I'm Tanya." She said in a friendly voice.

I looked at Edward then back at her. "Um…Hi."

Then she reached out with one of her arms and without even looking at him, wrapped it around his waist and pulled him towards her. I sat completely dumbfounded and then heard Sophie gasp. That's when I remembered. Tanya. Alex Denali's daughter. The reason Sophie and Edward got married in a haste.

"Tanya, this is Isabella Swan." He gestured formally towards me and although he was speaking to her, he was looking at me. "This is Tanya." He tipped his head a little towards her while still holding my gaze.

I lowered my eye and noticed that although she was still holding him around the waist, his hands were still on his side.

"So, you must be the girl Edward thought was the most beautiful one at the ball, huh?" She said as she looked up at Edward and ran her fingers through his hair.

I looked at Edward and gave him a look that said that I wasn't answering her question and he could do so himself if he wished to. He didn't either, probably because he was enjoying her hands in his hair or something. She finally got bored of staring at him and turned her eyes towards us again.

"You see, word travels fast in our society. And apparently Edward put on quite a show last night." She said while throwing Edward a steely sideways glance.

"It's nice to meet you, Tanya. I met your Dad last night. He is a very nice man."

I spoke in a cold and calm voice. As much as I had liked Alexander Denali last night, his daughter was getting on my nerves. I had completely put her out of my mind after that day at the car when Edward had told me about her and now I could see why Sophie didn't like her. It's not just that she was standing so close to Edward, but it was the air around her. The way she held him, the way she spoke to him, it was like she owned him or something. Like she knew that she could get away with anything with him. And seeing Edward let someone do that to him was surreal. I mean, this was Edward, who snapped at waiters if they tried to suggest a dish. How was she getting away with this crap with him?

She gave me a pathetic smile and then turned to Edward.

"So, Edward. Tell me, what is it about Isabella that makes her more beautiful than the most eligible girls in LA?"

"Where were you last night? I didn't see you at the ball." He said to her in a calm voice, ignoring her question.

Did he mean that he wouldn't have said what he said about me if she was there? I mean, it wouldn't be wrong because of course she was more beautiful than me. She was absolutely breathtaking. She was wearing a white dress that clung to her curves with strappy white heels on her feet. Her head full of red hair was curled meticulously and flowed around her. She was almost as tall as Edward and had a body that looked like she worked out five hours a day.

"Did you miss me?" She gave him an intense look and leaned towards his lips. At that moment Sophie jumped out of my lap and ran towards Edward. When she reached him she took his hand and pulled him away from her as she gave Tanya a nasty look.

"Didn't you get my e-mail? He is my husband now. You can't kiss him anymore." She said to Tanya in a voice that sounded furious.

Tanya's eyes widened a little as she looked down at Sophie. "Oh, hey there little thing. Didn't see you there." _How_ did she not see her? She was sitting right on my lap, for Christ's sake.

Tanya furrowed her brows a little. "Wait, what e-mail? And husband?" She looked at Edward.

"Yes, husband. He's my husband now. Aunt Alice and I sent you an e-mail to tell you that you should find another boyfriend."

"Well, that must've gotten lost in cyberspace then." She said with a shrug then tried to pull Edward towards her again but Sophie moved and stood in between them. Tanya gave me an annoyed look.

"Can you please handle the child?" She said like I was her freaking maid or something.

"Tanya…" Edward's voice had a warning in it and she immediately picked up on it and pouted.

"Eddie, I've missed you a lot. Aren't you even going to wish me a proper welcome home?"

I looked at the side of Edward's face incredulously. Why was he so passive? Why was he so quiet? It was like he was a completely different person!

Edward looked down at Sophie then at me. Tanya, however, sidestepped Sophie and leaned closer to Edward so he was forced to look at her. "Hey, I heard you guys are starting a new project with Dad next month. He's quite excited about it."

"Yeah, we are." Edward closed his eyes for a second then looked down at Sophie. "_Princesse_, are you hungry?"

Sophie shook her head from side to side, as she held on to Edward's hand.

He disentangled himself from Tanya's arms and crouched down to sit in front of Sophie. "You don't even want an ice cream?"

She gave Tanya a look then shook her head again, a bit weaker this time. He smiled and ruffled her hair. "I bet your fairy wants a pistachio ice cream."

Damn it. He knew that Sophie would never say no to the pistachio ice cream. And true to herself, she looked at me expectantly. I sighed and went over to pick her up in my arms.

"Alright. Let's go get you some ice cream." Then I threw Edward a quick glance.

"We'll be right back." I said over my shoulder as I walked away with Sophie.

When I returned to the bench with Sophie still in my arms, I was trying to wipe of some of the ice cream that was dripping down Sophie's arms but she suddenly gasped and I looked up to see where she was looking. My steps halted as soon as I looked in the direction of the bench, a few feet from which Tanya and Edward were standing in an embrace, just about to kiss. Well, more like Tanya was going to kiss Edward and he was going to let her. She stood with her back to me so I couldn't see her face, but I didn't need to in order to know just how much she was enjoying herself. Edward was however facing us and the first thing I noticed was how his hands were on her hips but his fists were clenched. And while he pouted his lips for the kiss there was a slight frown in his brows.

And that was the moment when I decided I had had enough. I didn't care if Edward thought I was overstepping any boundaries. That woman needed to step the fuck away from him.

"Edward." I said in a loud and clear voice that even frightened me with the menace it held.

Tanya continued leaning towards him but he immediately turned his eyes up to look at me, then he slowly started to push Tanya on the hips to get her off him but she wouldn't budge.

"Edward." I said again with more emphasis and my voice was even louder than before. This time he pushed her a bit more forcefully and she stumbled backwards a little.

"Excuse me! Do you mind? We are a little busy here…" Tanya turned to give me a glare but I just glanced at her once before giving Edward a very calm look.

"We need you to take us home now." I told him.

Before he could say anything Tanya turned to him again and reached into his pocket to fish out his car keys before holding them up to me. "Here, take his car and go home. I will drop him off later." My anger towards her quadrupled, not because of her suggestion itself, but the power that she held over Edward that her suggestion and her action implied. I tried to calm myself so I could somehow get the three of us away from her without creating a scene.

"Edward, Sophie and I have had a very tiring day and I don't want to drive right now. I need you to take us home."I said again to him, while completely ignoring her.

"And you don't think Edward is tired? Since when is he your personal chauffeur, Isabella?" Tanya said in a patronizing voice that sounded like she was talking to a kid.

"I _know_ Edward is tired since I just spent the whole day with him. But I also know that no matter how tired he is Edward will always put the needs of his family first." I tried to keep my face indifferent while I replied to her.

"And you are what? His family?" Her face got a little hard as she said this.

I ignored her and looked at him expectantly. He just stood there giving me an incredulous look.

"I think Edward has given you his answer." She said with a smirk then turned towards him again.

Edward seemed to suddenly snap himself out of the heated gaze him and I were sharing and looked at Tanya. "_Edward_ can speak for himself. Isabella, if you are too tired maybe I can call you a cab? Go to your place with Sophie, I will come by to pick her up later." He said while trying to convey something to me with an intent look. It almost looked like he was pleading for me to say yes to whatever he just said. Was he _kidding_ me?

"We are not going in a cab. They are filthy." I spat at him his words from months ago.

"Is she for real?" Tanya scoffed and Edward's eyes hardened towards me.

"Isabella, please." He gritted his teeth.

I walked around the two of them with Sophie still clinging to my arms and sat on the bench behind them.

"We will wait right here while you finish your business. Don't mind us." I said as I waved towards the two of them with my hand.

Edward gave me a glare then walked towards me with a furious expression on his face. He reached for the backpack lying beside me and slung it over his shoulder and then for Sophie. He held her to him with one arm and used his other hand to yank me by my arm, making me get up and start walking with him.

"I'll call you in a bit." He said to Tanya as we passed her and then made our way towards the parking lot.

The exhaustion from the day took over Sophie and she fell asleep in Edward's arms during our quiet but fuming walk to the parking lot. Even the loud sounds of both Edward and I banging our doors to the car didn't wake her. We were both fuming throughout the car ride but none of us so much as looked at each other. I don't know about him but the reason I kept my mouth shut was because I knew that we would both explode if either of us started saying anything.

When Edward pulled up in front of my apartment building I made a conscious effort to not slam the car door behind me, not for his benefit, but because I didn't want to wake Sophie up and have her deal with his sour mood in their ride back home.

I started walking towards my building without so much as even looking back at the car and then heard one of the doors slam.

"Are you serious? You are just going to fucking walk away like nothing fucking happened?" Edward said from behind me.

I kept walking as I called out over my shoulder. "Edward, just go home."

He ran over to catch up with me and grabbed my arm. "Stop telling me what to do." He said as soon as our eyes met.

I sighed and untangled my arm from his grip. "Please, Edward. I don't want to do this."

"I don't give a fuck what you want. You are going to explain to me right now what the hell that was all about."

"I don't have to explain myself to you." I spat back at him.

He closed his eyes for a second to control his anger. "Do you have _any_ idea how much shit you just put me in? How much shit she is going to cause when she goes to Alex and starts to cry about why I didn't stay with her?"

"Then why didn't you stay with her? I offered to wait, didn't I?" I said in an aggravated voice that I didn't even recognize coming from myself.

"Really? You expected me to make out with her with you and Sophie sitting right there?"He gave me a condescending look.

"If there's nothing wrong with what you were doing, then why should you be ashamed of doing it in front of us?"

"I didn't say there's nothing wrong with it. It's fucking wrong but who the fuck cares?"

I felt anger. Extreme anger. "She was going to KISS you! How can you not care?"

He looked a little taken aback by my outburst. "Isabella, it's not like I am cheating on someone by kissing her. I am single and so is she."

It seemed like he waited for me to say something to that but I just fumed at him. Of course I knew that. Did he think I was stupid or something?

He sighed and gave me a tired look. "What does it matter if I let her rub herself on me a little to keep the peace with Alex? I've been doing it for years."

I grabbed my forehead in frustration. "You don't see how many things are wrong with that sentence?"

"No, I don't! And what I don't get more than anything else is why the fuck you are getting so worked up about this. Shit, I don't think I've _ever_ seen you this worked up about _anything_."

I got taken aback by what he said and my brows that were raised in anger until now fell immediately. I turned around from him quickly and frowned as I thought about that. He was right, I don't think I had ever been this angry with him before. Not even when we had our worst fights in the past.

Then he grabbed my arm again and made me turn towards him. I refused to look at him though so I kept looking away.

"Look at me." He said in that commanding voice that he had been using with me more often lately. Probably because he knew that for some messed up reason it always worked. So I looked up and met his eye.

"Tell me why this is a big deal."

I frowned a little in thought as I held his gaze. "If you had been enjoying what you were doing, it wouldn't have been a big deal. I wouldn't have had a problem with it. But you didn't want it. You were forcing yourself to be ok with it."

He let my arm go and stepped back a little. I know what had upset him now. I was looking at him like I could see into his soul and at that moment I held a lot of power over him. And I didn't blame him one bit for not liking it.

"What are you, the mind guru now? How the fuck would you know if I was enjoying it or not?" He growled.

"Because I know you. Tanya Denali might have felt your lips kissing her back and taken that as a sign that you wanted that, but I saw the dent on your brow and your clenched fists. And my Edward would never let anyone get away with using him like that." His eyes widened and a shocked look came over his face at what I assume was being taken aback because I seemed to know him so well.

"You are unbelievable!" He spat and then turned to stomp towards the car.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I shut the door to the apartment behind me with a loud bang then tossed my bag in the hallway. I walked straight into the kitchen and got out a glass and stood over the sink, pouring water into the glass. I took deep breaths while I stood there and then drank the whole glass of water. I grabbed the edge of the sink and just stood there and took deep breaths.

_So now he was furious with me because I interfered. Well, good. I don't care. He can be as angry as he wants. He deserved everything I said and did._

I closed my eyes and raised my head a little towards the ceiling taking another deep breath. I really needed to stop getting so worked up. But I couldn't help it. Even now, every time the image of her putting her hands on Edward when he so clearly didn't want it flashed through my head, hot anger spread through my chest. And that look in his face…that look of surrendering himself to something he didn't want. I never wanted to see that look on Edward.

I don't know why, but he reminded me of the 15 year old Edward at that moment, one who saw his whole world turn upside down and was helpless. I'm pretty sure Edward didn't need my help and could handle the situation if he wanted to, but that was the point though…he didn't. Edward was such a contradiction at times. Most times he was so strong and seemed almost invincible from the outside. But then there were moments like these, when there was an air of helplessness and surrender around him…I had seen it when he had brought a crying Sophie to my apartment in his arms, when Carlisle had been at the hospital, when his family sometimes pushed him away without realizing it when they chastised him about something…his family didn't seem to notice it, or they chose not to see it because they were used to it. But it struck me every single time. And although in the past I had handled situations like these by staying at a distance and only helping in little ways I could without getting too involved, I was too attached to Edward now to let things like these go. People only saw his harshness towards the world, but they don't realize that he only fights because he is trying to keep himself safe from the way the world seems to harm _him_ all the time. And these were times when he gave up trying to keep himself safe. And I had now reached a point where if no one else was going to fight his battles when he gave up on them, I would not stay quiet and let him do that to himself. That's what friends were for, right?

I took another deep breath and immediately regretted fighting with Edward. I had of course done it for the right reasons, but I had left him just as alone as he always felt after he fought with everyone else. He was stubborn and he had a bad temper and life had done awful things to him to get him all messed up. But he was _Edward_.

I immediately went back into the hallway and picked up my bag off the floor to fish out my phone. I dialed Edward's number and pushed the phone to my ear, preparing myself to apologize to him right away and making sure he wasn't going to brood by himself. His phone was engaged and I frowned a little, wondering who he was calling in such a bad mood. I tried again. Then again. Then again. I tried for fifteen minutes continuously and his phone was busy. Then suddenly it struck me. I closed my eyes as all my remorse fled out the window at that second because I knew who he was calling. "I'll call you in a bit", he had said to her. He was calling her!

My anger flared and went through the roof again. Did he not listen to a word I said to him? Arggghhhhhhh…I clenched my fist around the phone and considered my options. I still stood in the doorway and tapped my foot trying to think of whether it would be more effective to try to get Carlisle or Jasper on my side to get him away from that woman.

Then I jumped a little as my doorbell rang suddenly, startling me. I opened the door to reveal Edward standing in my doorway with a sleeping Sophie with her arms around his neck and her head lying on his shoulder.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be heading back to Tanya?" I spat at him. My anger was at an all time high and I made sure he knew that. So much for making things ok.

He smirked. He actually smirked at me as he bypassed me to get into my apartment.

"Yeah that was the plan but we had to change it since she has apparently handed over my ownership to you, considering how I'm _your_ Edward now and all." Then he walked straight to my room to lay Sophie down on my bed. I sighed and went to sit down on the couch in the living room.

He came out and sat down on the couch opposite to me and he had this glint in his eyes that made my irritation towards him melt away even though I tried really really hard to hold on to it. How did he do that? I had been furious with him a moment ago! (I actually kind of knew how he was doing that. That glint in his eyes? It was there so rarely and I cherished it every time he had it. That was why.)

I glowered at him a little, trying to get the irritation back, but it just made his eyes glint even more and even added a slight lift to the corner of his lips. Then I finally gave up and rolled my eyes.

"Well, you are my prince after all." I said in a sarcastic tone and he just leaned back a little on the couch and watched me.

"You know that's not how I meant that." I said in a serious voice.

"How you meant what?" He asked.

"That you are…um…" I hesitated.

"_Your_ Edward?" He tried to keep a straight face but I could see that he was holding back a smirk. I looked away from him in an irritated way.

"How did you mean it then?" He asked.

"That I _do_ know you." I said as I looked at him straight.

He took in a deep breath and let it out but didn't break my gaze. "Yes you do."

He kept looking at me, as if he was trying to read something in my face then spoke again after a few moments. "Isabella, even if you and I don't discuss girls, it's not like I'm a hermit or something."

"Why don't you discuss girls with me?" I asked him, genuinely curious.

"There hasn't been anyone to discuss." He shrugged.

"Is there now?" I asked carefully.

His face got all flushed and his eyes widened. I frowned a little, wondering what had elicited that reaction, then suddenly he seemed to realize something and his face relaxed. "You mean Tanya." He said it like a statement.

Of course. Who else would I mean?

"No. There's nothing to discuss about her in that way. I'm not interested in her."

I let out a deep breath. Good. This would have been a little complicated if he was interested in her. Considering how I was going to inject her with a lethal injection to get her away from him and all.

"So, should I expect more of this in the future? You're going to throw yourself in the way every time I try to kiss a girl?" He asked with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

"Not if you kiss the right girl." I said seriously.

"And _you_ are deciding who the right girl is?" He raised an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course not. I just know that it's not Tanya."

He looked down at his lap and shook his head a little. Then he leaned down and took off his shoes and then lay down stretched out on the couch.

"It would be different if you were kissing someone that you actually liked. I could see you didn't like it and it was like she was using you or something." I said as I pulled my legs up and folded them underneath me.

"I don't mind if she uses me. It's not a big deal. She only stays in town for a little while and it helps a lot at work to have Alex on our side. He is a very powerful guy." He said while keeping his eyes on the ceiling.

"I don't care if you don't mind. I do." I deadpanned. He turned suddenly towards me and propped his head up on one hand, resting his elbow on the couch.

"See, that's what I don't get. If I don't mind, why do you?" He looked genuinely interested in the answer.

I looked away from him a little. He had a point. I wanted to say "because you are my friend" but that didn't feel quite right. Alice was my friend and Jasper was my friend. I would do anything for them if they asked me to. But I would never interfere and get involved and take power over them in the way I had done today with Edward. I didn't know what to say to him. _Because I feel very protective of you. Because today was about you and me and Sophie. We were having a beautiful moment and she ruined it. Because I fixed you and I won't let anyone break you again._ Yeah, _that_ would go well.

"Because…you are…" I tried to find something to say that would appease him.

"_Your_ Edward?" He said with that damn smirk again and it looked even more devilish because he was stretched out like a cat on my couch and looked way too comfortable.

I groaned and threw my head back on the headrest of the couch, looking up at the ceiling. "You're not going to forget that one any time soon are you?"

"I'm afraid not."

Of course he wasn't. Where the hell had that come from? I didn't even realize what I was saying when it slipped out. Is that how I thought of him now? I had fixed him so he was mine? Ok, that's messed up at so many levels that I'm not even going to go there.

We sat quiet for a while then he spoke.

"It's not just the business though. She helped me through some tough times…when I was younger."

I kept my eyes on the ceiling and blinked a few times. Of course. They had known each other since kids. This whole deal probably started just after his mother left, when he was the most vulnerable. That explains a lot all of a sudden. I picked up my head and looked at him.

"I don't care what she did before. Still doesn't give her the right to force herself on you."

"Probably not. But I let her. So it's not really her fault." He said in a soft voice.

Then don't let her! I wanted to scream at him at that moment, but I think I had already done enough damage that evening so held my tongue and decided to use a different tactic.

"I don't even see the point to this whole thing. I met Alex Denali. And he doesn't seem to be irrational enough to let his daughter's emotions rule over his business deals."

"I know he seems that way. And he is rational with most things. Anything, other than his daughter. He loses all of his sanity if she has a breakdown or something. Believe me, I learned it the hard way."

As always, I didn't push Edward to tell me what he meant. He always elaborated when he felt up to it.

"So what if you lose some business? You can do without the extra cash." I said with a slightly teasing tone. Like they didn't have enough money already.

Edward looked at me and smirked. "Extra cash? Do you want to know just how much it can cost the company because I am sitting here instead of with her?"

I looked away and tried to hide my irritation. Millions? Billions? Who the hell cares!

"No, I don't want to know the amount, because it's irrelevant." I told him.

"Millions of dollars just in profit every quarter is _irrelevant_?" Edward said in an amused tone.

"Yes, Edward. _No_ amount of money is worth you putting yourself in that situation for." I said and the amusement left Edward's face. He looked at me for a few moments then turned to lie down on his back on the couch again. Both of us stayed quiet for a very long time. I thought about all the things that had happened since last night and how things felt kind of different somehow. Pretty soon I realized my head was dizzy with exhaustion, as the day's activities finally caught up with me now that I knew Edward and Sophie were safe right here in my apartment, away from the clutch of crazy red-heads.

I got up and stretched my arms. "I'm going to go to bed. I'm exhausted." He didn't look at me and just nodded his head. "Do you want to stay here tonight? You look pretty beat up too." I added. He looked at me then.

"Is that ok?"

"Yeah. Of course. Let me get you some bedding." I got Edward pillows and blankets for the couch and went to plop myself down in bed with Sophie.

I wrapped an arm around Sophie and fell asleep almost instantaneously but was awakened about an hour later at the sound of the toilet being flushed, then footsteps in the living room. Edward was walking around and he seemed restless. I heard him plop himself down on the couch a bit later and sighed thinking I could finally go back to sleep without all his noises. But then, every few minutes or so I would be startled awake by the sound of sheets rustling from the living room. Edward kept tossing and turning on the couch, and I could even hear his annoyed grunts at times. He was clearly not comfortable sleeping on the couch and finally I had enough and threw the covers off and stomped off to the living room.

"Edward, stop fussing around and just come to bed. It's no place you haven't been before anyways." I mumbled the last part and walked back to my bed and flung myself down on it, making sure I avoided landing on Sophie. Edward came in carrying his blanket and pillow after a few moments and I grabbed Sophie and made her move more to the middle to make room for Edward on the other side of the bed. He flung himself down just like I had and we both drifted off to sleep pretty soon.

I woke up as usual on my stomach on the far left side of the bed, with one hand and one leg flung over the edge, my pillow nowhere near my head. But I immediately felt a soft warm breath on my side. I slowly turned my head towards my right to see that Sophie was glued to my side, with one tiny arm flung over my hip and one leg over my thighs. Edward had also moved to the far left side of the bed, with one arm slung over Sophie's body. Then I chuckled as I realized that my fears about the bed being too small for all of us were clearly ridiculous since together, our human chain took up about one fourth of the bed.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"Alice you don't even have a fucking clue about what you are doing." I growled at her from across the kitchen.

"Stop being a wise-ass and let me do this my way." She snapped and continued stirring the sauce. I had seen Isabella make that sauce earlier and knew for a fact that she was doing it completely wrong. I tried to stay away to keep from having a blow out with Alice right there in the kitchen, but finally, my curiosity got the better of me.

And then just as I walked up behind her to look over her shoulder at the sauce the she-devil opened a cupboard over her head and the edge of it banged me in the forehead just below my hairline. A sharp pain ran through my head. As Alice turned around and widened her eyes when she saw my forehead, I felt a stream of warm liquid sip down the side of my face.

"Oh shit!" Alice gasped and I touched my cheek and brought my fingers in front of my face to see that it was blood.

"You fucking crazy person! You did that on purpose!" I yelled at her while I frantically looked for a towel to stop the blood.

"I did not you jerk. You're the one that was trying to sneak up on me!" She screamed back.

"I just wanted to look at the pot!" I yelled back.

"Sure you were. Please Edward. I wasn't born yesterday," she said with a roll of her eyes and it made my anger flare even more.

At that moment Dad, Isabella and Jasper walked into the kitchen and while Dad and Jasper raised their eyebrows in question, used to seeing me bleeding on more than quite a few occasions, Isabella gasped.

"Oh my god, Edward. What happened?" She asked in a panicked voice and ran up to where I was standing. She immediately made me sit down on a stool and came to stand between my legs. Then grabbed the sides of my face and pulled it down so she could look at the cut.

"The she-devil tried to kill me again." I said with a frown, a little taken aback at her close proximity.

"What!" She turned to give Alice an unbelievable look.

"No I didn't. He was sneaking up on me, probably trying to throw me into the stove or something. It was an accident." Alice said in an indignant voice.

"I wasn't trying to harm you, you idiot. I just wanted to look at the sauce." I grumbled and winced a little as Isabella's fingers prodded around the wound.

"Stop lying, jerk." Alice quipped back.

"Stop it both of you!" Isabella's voice bellowed out suddenly and both of us shut up in surprise at the loud and angry tone of her voice. I looked at her to see that her face was furious with rage.

"I CANNOT believe the two of you. Ok, fine, we all get it. You don't get along. So get over it already. And Alice, I can't believe you. You are standing right in front of him doing nothing but yell at him while he is bleeding! You know how much he hates it and all you can do is continue your fight?"

Isabella's voice kept raising and got all high pitched towards the end and Alice and I both looked at each other in shock. Neither of us had expected that from Isabella. Alice gave Isabella an incredulous look.

"Well, he started it!" She said in an indignant voice that reminded me of Sophie and I snorted.

Isabella glared at me once then turned to Alice again. "I don't care who started it. How can you stand in front of him and just let him keep bleeding like that?" Her voice was loud and high pitched and her eyes were wide. Ok, even I could see that she was overreacting. I lightly touched one of wrists that was next to my face.

"Jeez, Isabella. Calm down, it's not that big of a deal."

She now turned the full force of her glare at me and I would never motherfucking admit it to anyone but I was a little scared. "_You_ don't even make me start." Then the anger poured from her face and was replaced by a hard expression.

"And it is a big deal if you are standing in your own kitchen bleeding from your head and your so called family does nothing to take care of you."

I felt a pang of something in my heart as she turned her attention toward the wound again and thoroughly ignored me. There was this warmth that started somewhere in the middle of my chest and kinda spread out on the sides then continued on to my arms and face. I felt cared for. I barely noticed Dad taking Alice and leading her out of the room, who kept throwing guilty looking glances towards us. And I barely noticed when Jasper smiled his goddamn all-knowing smile and then followed them out of the kitchen.

She continued to clean my cut. She frowned and squinted her eyes to get a good look. She still had a hold of my head with both her hands and she moved it around a little to look around the cut. She ran her hands into my hair and moved it aside to see if the cut had gone in there. There were too many things going through me, too many sensations that I did not recognize, and I had to say something to break the moment.

"You know, it's a little emasculating to have you fight my battles for me." And it was a big fat lie because that was one of the few things in this world that made me ecstatic.

"I think you've fought enough battles on your own. Maybe it's time someone else gives you a hand once in a while." She said without even looking at me. Like what she had just said didn't even matter.

I watched her face closely. It was inches from mine, she was leaned in close in concentration, gently dabbing at the cut with a wet towel with one hand, her other hand safely cradling the other side of my head. And I didn't want her to let go. With her standing between my legs, with only a few inches of space between her and me so that I could feel the warmth from her body as well as her breath fanning out over my face, I felt safe like I hadn't felt in many many years. And there, at that moment right there, for the first time ever, I wanted to reach out and close the little distance that was there between me and her.

Her fury at Alice right now and her fury at me the other day over Tanya, both these things had the same origin. It came from such a pure place. She cared. She didn't want Tanya on me not because she was jealous or something, but because she saw that I didn't like it, and she somehow felt that Tanya was using me. She was angry with Alice because she was supposed to be my family and no matter how we fought she was supposed to drop everything and care if I got hurt. Which was what Isabella was doing right now. It was as simple as that. _She_ _cared_.

And it wasn't because she loved my family and so cared for me by extension. She cared _for me_. Because if her main priority was the family then she wouldn't have had risked our business by pissing Tanya off, neither would she have just gotten into what I'm sure was her first fight with Alice.

"I think I'm going to be ok." I said to her in a voice barely above a whisper.

She chuckled as she kept cleaning my wound. "It's just a superficial cut Edward. I _know_ you're going to be ok. And if you're not, I'm right here so I'll just stitch it up."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"That's too bad Edward. Isabella made lasagna."

"Oh man!" I groaned on the phone and tried to think of a way to get out of working late. I heard Dad chuckle on the phone and swore under my breath. He was the one that had put me up with the goddamn Copperfield account that was more messy than any other account that I had ever taken on. And we were presenting the tender tomorrow so my team and I had been working at it all day non-stop. I had just called Dad to ask him a few questions about the transactions and he had just told me that Isabella was over at the house, and not just that…she was making lasagna for the rest of them.

"You're evil, you know." I told him, fair and square.

"I'll try to rein Jasper in so we can save some for you." He chuckled and hung up.

I made my team work for another couple of hours and they were all pissed at me for keeping them so late but I couldn't care less. I dared them with my eyes to show any signs of displeasure with the situation and they all kept their opinions to themselves wisely. I had been working the entire fucking day and was starving and was in no mood to put up with whiny bastards that bitched and moaned about doing something they were paid to do. After the meeting ended and everyone left I decided to go through the tender on my own and put in some last minute adjustments. Finally a few hours later I started seeing spots in front of my eyes so I decided it was time to give up and go home.

When I pulled up the driveway to the house most of the lights were out. My stomach grumbled again and I popped some more M&Ms into my mouth. I was so beat I didn't even have the energy to swing by Chic to grab something to eat. When I got in through the front door I threw my briefcase and coat unceremoniously on the side table in the hallway and started running straight up the stairs to get to bed and flop myself down on it. But I realized I was perched from all the goddamn M&Ms I'd been eating all evening and so turned around and ran down to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

I came to an abrupt stop in the kitchen doorway. Only the spotlights over the sink were on so the kitchen was lit very dully. One end of the kitchen island had two place settings on it. On the other end Isabella sat on a barstool, with her head leaned down on the top of the kitchen island, resting on her folded arms. I didn't realize Isabella was staying the night. I had been so busy for the past two days that I hadn't gone over to meet her for lunch and we hadn't really talked on the phone either. I felt a little guilty about being so busy and had texted her to let her know that it was an important account I was working on. She had said it was ok and asked me to break a leg. Then she had sent me another text explaining that she didn't mean that literally. Then there was another one rambling on about how I should refrain from kicking anything or anyone, running up or down stairs, skipping, rollerblading, skate boarding etc. I had sent one back saying she needed to shut up and she had wisely taken my advice.

I walked up to where she was sitting and walked around the counter so I could see her face. She was completely asleep, with her breathing evened out, and some of her hair covering her face. I frowned as I noticed that there were dark circles under her eyes.

"Isabella." I nudged her a little on the elbow but she didn't respond. I squatted down on the floor so my head was the same levels as hers and reached out to move the hair from her face.

"Edward," she said in a groggy voice before opening her eyes completely.

"Hey." I said as I stayed squatted down beside her.

"Hey." She frowned a little as she raised herself up from the leaned position and looked around a little confused. "What time is it?"

I looked at my watch. "Just after one."

"Your meeting went on this late?" She asked, looking down at me.

"Well the meeting ended two hours ago but I stayed back to finish up on a little work. Why are you sleeping here?" I asked as I got up and stood.

She rubbed her eyes a little to get the sleep out. Her hair was a little ruffled and the cheek she was lying on was all red. Her eyes were a little puffy from her nap and I smiled a little at her appearance.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep. Carlisle said your meeting should end around 10 ish so I thought you'd be home by 11."

"Oh, I didn't realize you were waiting for me. Did you have to talk about something?" I asked as I got a glass out from the cabinet.

"No, I was waiting for dinner." She said with a slightly annoyed voice.

I turned around from the cabinet quickly with wide eyes. "I thought you guys ate."

"Well, everyone else did. I didn't want you to have to eat alone." She said with a little frown as she was clearly still sleepy.

I looked at her with wide eyes then at the place settings on the island and then I understood. _She was waiting up for me so we could eat together._ She was still sitting on the stool and gave me a look like it was the most natural thing in the world and I was stupid for not getting it.

I let out a breath in a whoosh. For so many years, for so many nights, I had been coming home after late meetings in the middle of the night to a dark cold house. So many times I had sat in this very kitchen and eaten dinner by myself in the dim lights in the middle of the night. So many times when there wasn't even anything decent to eat in the fridge and I'd just be too tired and go to sleep with a growling stomach. Never had a scenario occurred to me where someone would ever care enough to be there when I came home and eat with me. Someone who judging by the circles under her eyes had had a tough week at work and gotten very little sleep.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at me or can we eat something? Some of us are running the risk of perishing with hunger soon." She said with an irritated tone and I had to smile at her.

"What are you smiling about? Just go and change while I heat up the food." She said again with a grumble and I started to laugh at that. She turned around and gave me a frown slash glare.

"You're cranky when you're hungry. You know that?" I told her with a big ass smile on my face, which should probably scare the crap out of her because of its size.

"Yeah? Well you're goofy in the middle of the night. Now go and get changed before I get you out of those clothes myself."

I had already started walking towards the door but stopped a little and glanced at her over my shoulder to see her face as she had said that. She was putting leftover lasagna in the oven and was turned away from me. I turned back around and went upstairs to change.

After I changed into my flannel pants and grey t-shirt that I usually slept in, I went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. I grabbed a towel lying by the sink and looked up at the mirror just before I was going to wipe my face.

_Who the fuck is that?_ The bastard in the mirror had eyes that were bright with something. In the corner of his lips there was a twitch that looked like a smile threatening to break out again and made him look like a fucking clown. I tried to frown my eyebrows a little to get me to look like me again but it just looked ridiculous with the bright eyes and the goddamn twitchy lips.

When I came back downstairs I could see that Isabella was still grouchy from her sleepiness and hunger and we started eating right away. She gave me a few confused glances at my weird ass happy face but I just shrugged and ignored her as I enjoyed the little blessing I had received that night. When I noticed that the food on her plate was almost gone I quickly got up to get another load for myself before she had a chance to finish eating. That way she would have to stay there longer even if she was done since she wouldn't leave me eating by myself.

Isabella asked me a little about my day and how my "important account" was coming up and I told her about it. I asked her about her week and just like I had suspected she grumbled about some resident driving her crazy with putting all his workload on her. I made a mental note to call Dr. Green so he would make sure she wasn't being overworked like this.

I kept stealing glances at Isabella throughout dinner and normally she would have picked up on it ages ago and given me an earful about my staring tendencies or some shit but tonight she was too tired to notice. Even if she had noticed, I wouldn't have cared. There was only one thing on my mind throughout dinner.

I just wanted her to stay there with me. I didn't care if we talked or just sat in silence the whole night, but I didn't want her to go into her room and lock her door. And more than anything else, that goddamn urge from yesterday when she was cleaning my cut, of reaching out to her and feeling the safety I had felt when she was that close, it was back and it was tenfold.

And by the time the food was all gone and we had put our dishes in the dishwasher and both of us made our way up the stairs, I watched her climb the stairs in front of me and had decided that I wasn't going to let her to go bed without touching her. I didn't care what she thought of it, I didn't care who the fuck saw and I didn't care how I was going to explain this shit to myself later but I was going to do it.

"G'night Edward," she said in a little slurry voice, since she was obviously half-asleep by this point and started walking towards her room without so much as looking at me. And that was it, she was just going to disappear into her fucking room just like that.

_No_, I thought. This wasn't happening.

So I walked across the hall and wrapped my arms around her from behind, pulling her back into my chest. She let out a yelp and went rigid at first. Then when I just kept holding her she relaxed a little but she didn't say anything.

"Thank you." I whispered to her.

I felt her body shaking in a chuckle. "If I knew before that this is the reaction I would get for staying up to eat with you, I would have done that the first week I came here."

I tightened my arms around her a little thinking of the first weeks after she had come here. Oh, god. How did I not see her for who she is back then? I was going to go to the worst kind of hell for being an asshole to the kindest person on this fuckass planet.

I groaned a little and dropped my head on her shoulder. "I'm fucking sorry, Isabella."

"For what?" She asked immediately.

"For being an asshole."

"I never thought you were." She went quiet a little and then she spoke again. "Ok, that was a lie. But, I know better than to think that now."

"Thank you." I said again with my forehead still resting on her shoulder.

"Stop thanking me, Edward." She said in a voice that broke a little and had a faraway quality to it. I figured she didn't like that shit, so I stopped.

"Ok, now let me go so I don't fall asleep right here." She said as she wiggled a little to get out of my arms.

I felt a little warm feeling spreading through me as I thought of that. I wouldn't mind if she fell asleep right there in my arms and just stayed there all night. But of course I wasn't going to tell her that so I released her. She stepped away and then turned around to give me a genuine smile.

"Good night, Isabella." I said as I turned around and started walking towards my room before she had a chance to see god knows what fucked up expression was on my face then.

"Hey, Edward?" She called out from behind me and I turned around to see her leaning against her doorframe and giving me a curious look.

"Yeah?"

"You've been acting weird this week. You know that, right?" She asked with a smile to let me know that she wasn't accusing me of anything. She was just stating a fact.

"Whatever, Isabella." I turned around and started walking towards my room again. Then just before I went into my room something occurred to me and I turned back around.

"Hey, Isabella?" She had started to go into her room by now and turned around to look at me from her doorway.

I felt one corner of my lips lift up. "Maybe I'm acting just fine. Maybe it's you who doesn't see things for what they are."

Then I closed my door before she had a chance to ask me anything else. Because I knew that she wasn't ready to hear my answers just yet.

**A/N: So there's a whole new bunch of you that joined us last chapter. Thank you for coming along for the ride and for letting me know your thoughts! Your timing couldn't be better….we have some very exciting times lying ahead of us. To those of you that have been with me from the start, hold on tight ladies…your days of waiting and cursing me for the slow burn are nearing their end…or are they? Nah just kidding. Even I am tired of these kids being oblivious to what's in front of their eyes by now. It's time for sweet music to start. But our good old Doctor Bella is being a bit thick headed still. I think I will call for some maternal intervention for the next round.**

**As always, my love and my eternal servitude to Jamie, who is my lifeline at the moment. Love ya, girlie. **


	19. Eyes wide open

_**"Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise."**_

_~ Thomas Gray_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I shook my head disbelievingly as I came into the living room to find five very animated Cullens/Hales pointing and yelling at the TV. Even Carlisle had joined in the wrestling obsession today and I quirked an eyebrow at him when he threw some pop corn at the screen. As I approached the coffee table in front of the couch to put down the tray of hot chocolate all of them starting groaning in unison for me to move out of the way. I quickly jumped out of the way and went to sit between Carlisle and Sophie on the couch. She was sitting on the edge of the couch yelling excitedly at the Undertaker and I tried to pull her back to sit closer to me but she just wriggled out of my hands and yelled at the TV again.

I leaned closer to Carlisle. "Should she really be exposed to all this violence?" I asked him in a low voice so as not to disturb the rest of them.

Carlisle barely threw me a glance before turning to the TV again. "Um…it's a good way to release some pent up energy, I guess."

I rolled my eyes. "Shouldn't she be doing that in a bit more…well…healthier way?"

"There's nothing wrong with the sport of wrestling, Isabella. Stop trying to pollute the atmosphere with your crazy ideas." Edward growled from beside Sophie, who in turn threw me a wary glance. I decided to drop it for now and let them enjoy watching oversized grown men breaking furniture on each other's heads, and wondered whether if any of them had just dropped dead on spot from a subarachnoidal bleed it would finally alert the proper authorities to the dangers of this "sport".

After the show ended Alice ran to the bathroom saying she had been holding herself for the entire duration of the show, not wanting to miss anything. Jasper had gone to the kitchen to get water. I pulled Sophie back to my chest and she played with strands of my hair while she poked Edward on the side. He turned from the conversation he was having with Carlisle.

"Can Bella and I paint your toenails?" She asked him and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. He gave me a suspicious look and I held up my hands, indicating I had nothing to do with that, just like many other of Sophie's random ideas.

"Why can't you paint each other's toenails?" He asked her.

"Because Bella already has nail color on hers and my feet are cold so I don't want to take off my socks. Also, I like your toenails. They are pretty." She said to him in the most matter of fact voice as she poked at said toenails with her sock covered foot. I couldn't help but chuckle at this. The kid did not take her title as the princess lightly.

"Alright, _chérie_, we need to get some things straight. First of all, I don't have _pretty_ toenails. Second of all, just 'cause you can't find other toenails to paint doesn't mean you have free access to mine. And third of all, the answer to your question is no. Always and forever no."

I watched Sophie for her reaction and true to self she pulled out the big bumble-bee eyes on him. He quickly averted his eyes so as not to get trapped under the spell.

"_S'il te __plaît_ Edward. Just this once." She pleaded with him.

I knew he couldn't say no to the bumble-bee eyes and I felt excitement rise in me as I already started plotting for what color we should pick for him. I wondered what would annoy him the most, hot pink or fluorescent orange? He saw the look on my face and looked back at Sophie.

"How 'bout I make you a deal? You guys paint Uncle Jasper's nails today and in exchange I will take you and your fairy to the zoo next weekend."

Damnit, he was pulling the zoo card. Oh no no, Sophie, don't fall for the zoo card. Jasper chose that very moment to come back into the living room and Sophie's eyes lit up. This had turned out to be quiet the win-win situation for her.

"Uncle Jazzyy!" She yelled and ran for him. Poor Jasper was first startled but then beamed at the attention Sophie gave him, unaware of her real intentions.

"What's with all the love for the uncle today, kiddo?" He said as he picked her up in his arms and kissed her head.

"Uncle Jazzy, if I ask you for something, anything in the world, would you give it to me?" She asked in her innocent quiet voice and I saw Jasper's eyes glass over and that sucker was done for.

"Sure thing, kiddo. Just ask away. Uncle Jazzy is right here for ya." He said as he proceeded to carry her out of the living room.

"Well, you see, my feet are cold and Bella's nails have already color on them and I have this really pretty pink nail color…" Her voice faded off as they walked away and I looked at Edward and shook my head at his evil smirk. I threw a cushion at him which he caught before it hit his head.

"He's going to make you pay for that one later, you know that right?" I said.

"Oh please. I'll cut his fucking balls off if he even touches me." He said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Also, Alice is going to go all kinds of crazy when he finishes all her remover getting all the color out later. And you know that she's going to take that frustration out on you."

He looked at me with a mischievous smile. "Well you see, little she-devils at Lucifer's service don't really scare me anymore, since I have my own personal protector and all."

I rolled my eyes and focused on the TV. Then something occurred to me and I turned to him.

"I won't be able to go to the zoo next weekend, by the way."

He threw a glance at me. "Why?"

"I'm going to Jacksonville."

Now he turned all his attention to me. "Why the fuck are you going to motherfucking Jacksonville?"

I cringed at all the profanities and didn't really see the need for them in that sentence, but refrained from telling him that.

"My parents live there, remember?"

"Yeah I remember. Why are you going there? And for how long?"

"Just for the weekend. It's my mom's birthday."

"But you told me she doesn't like celebrating birthdays. It's supposed to be some sort of a genetic disorder in your family or some shit."

I rolled my eyes. "I only told you the first part. The second part you made up yourself. And we don't celebrate it or anything. But I still go every year and visit her. It's kinda like my present to her without actually giving her a present. It's the only thing she'll accept."

He accepted this and nodded his head. We were quiet for a few seconds before he spoke again.

"When is your flight?"

"I'm going to go on a stand-by sometime on Saturday. Cheaper that way." I shrugged my shoulders.

He nodded his head at the same time as we heard Alice squealing as she laughed at something. Edward and I shared a knowing look, guessing at the reason for her laughter and jumped up from the couch at the same time to join her in making fun of her toe-nail painted husband.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I woke up at 6 am on Saturday morning and quickly showered and then grabbed a breakfast muffin and a glass of juice while doing my make up. I had already packed the suitcase to take with me to Jacksonville for the weekend last night and it was standing in the hallway. I quickly brushed my teeth and made sure all my stoves and electric appliances were turned off before dragging my suitcase behind me and locking the apartment door. As exhausted I was from the strains of the week and sleep deprivation, and as wary as I was thinking of god knows how many hours I was going to have to spend hanging around the airport to get a flight, I was quite excited to see my parents after so many months. So even though my whole apartment building was in pin drop silence because it was early Saturday morning and all normal people slept at this time, I was in a pretty cheery mood as I made my way out the front gate of the building. I held the door open with my backside, while I dragged my suitcase out with my hands and noticed that there weren't even any sounds coming from the street this early. I turned around to check if my cab had arrived and did a double take and let out a tiny yelp to see Edward's Bentley parked outside, with Edward standing by his driver's side door, twirling a pair of sunglasses in his hand. Oh, no. This was _not_ good.

I warily stepped down from the steps and crossed the street to go to him, my suitcase left behind right outside the door.

"What are you doing here?" I asked before I had even reached him.

"Well, good morning to you too sunshine." He said in a dry voice. Then he saw that I meant business so gave me an irritated look. "What the fuck does it look like? I'm coming with you to Jacksonville."

Yup, just as I had feared.

"Why exactly are you doing that?" I tried to not let him hear the panic in my voice and just how badly I didn't want him to come.

"Because, who the fuck flies standby? Do you have any idea how fucked up that is when there is a perfectly good jet waiting in the goddamn airport that isn't going to be used this weekend?"

"I can't take your jet!"

"No you can't. That's why I'm coming with you. You have to be accompanied by someone from the company."

I sighed. He really was just trying to be thoughtful. "Edward, you really don't have to do that. Look I wouldn't have gone for standby if I had a problem with it. I'll have some time to catch up on reading while I wait."

"Well I don't care if you have a problem. I do. And I am not discussing this anymore." He walked by me and crossed the street to get my suitcase which he then placed in the trunk of his car. While he was at it he discarded the cab that was waiting for me. All the while I stood there trying to come up with a good reason to keep him from coming but not hurt his feelings at the same time.

"Are you gonna get in or what? We haven't got all day." He said in an impatient voice and I turned to look at him and gave him a hesitant look. His face immediately fell at whatever he saw on mine and suddenly he looked very unsure.

"Um…well, I just thought…well the fucking jet is more comfortable and you wouldn't have to wait, and I don't really have much to do anyways. But yeah, if you wanna spend time alone with your parents, I get that. You can just take the jet, I don't have to come. I'll send someone from the office with you and they'll just pick you back up when you come back." He looked away the whole time he spoke and I immediately felt guilty about making him feel unwelcome. I had practically lived in his house for the past few months and invaded his family's space in every which way possible, and now I was making him feel like he wasn't welcome to come to my parents' house.

I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath. Ok, we can do this. It'll be fine. I'll call Charlie and Renee ahead and warn them.

I put a hand on his arm to make him stop talking. "I didn't mean it that way. My parents would be very happy to see you if you come with me. Let's go." I grabbed his elbow and pushed him into the car. When I walked around the back to get to the passenger's side and stopped for a second and took a deep breath to calm my nerves.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

My parents were standing on the porch even before the car pulled up into the driveway. Even from this far away I could still see the intensity of their gazes. I gave Edward a wary look.

"Hey listen, my parents can be a little…um…intense. Don't get freaked out, ok? They're harmless."

"Intense? Really Isabella? You're warning me about that? Have you even _met_ my family?" He had a point but that wasn't my main concern right then. When he stopped the car I tentatively opened the door and got out and Edward got out and came to stand a few feet away from me. My parents stood still in their positions for a few seconds while they stared at us, well at him, if I'm going to be completely honest. Edward gave me a wary glance, clearly getting uncomfortable under their intense looks.

"Hey, guys. Remember me? Your daughter?" I said with a light chuckle to snap them out of their fit or whatever they were having.

Suddenly Mom just ran down from the porch and wrapped me in her arms. "Oh, baby!" I heard her let out a sob and looked at Edward who looked a little surprised at her breakdown, and I didn't blame him one bit. But then Charlie stepped down from the porch too and walked towards Edward. Edward held out his hand for Charlie to shake it.

"Mr. Swan. I'm Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you." Edward said in a polite tone and even though Renee was still squeezing me to bits I raised my eyebrow a little at Edward. Since when was he so polite?

Dad however had his own plans. He totally ignored Edward's outstretched hand and pulled the boy into his arms and patted his back like he was comforting him or something. "It's good to finally meet you, son."

I shook my head in indignation while Edward and I stood there being squeezed by each of my parents. _This_ after I had even given them a pep talk on the phone about being cool about Edward being here.

Finally, after we were released from their hugs Charlie and Edward took our bags into the house and Renee and I followed. Renee made some tea and we all sat down in the living room. I trusted my parents to make sure the house was ok for Edward but still kept looking around me to see if everything was alright and in place. Both my parents kept giving Edward these looks which they thought were stealthy but Edward could clearly feel their eyes on him and was very uncomfortable with all the attention. I tried to glare at my parents repeatedly but they just ignored me. Finally, I had enough and spoke up.

"Ok, guys. That's it. How 'bout you dial it down a notch before Edward thinks something's _wrong_ with you." My parents finally looked at me properly and I gave them a very intently meaningful look to get my message across.

They looked at each other and then realized just how intense they were being. Then each of them gave me an apologetic look and I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry, Edward. We're an emotional bunch over here. It's just that you remind us of someone we used to know." Charlie said in an apologetic tone.

The calm in the living room was transformed immediately. I choked on my tea and Edward immediately came to sit beside me and started patting my back. Renee threw angry glares at Charlie who just looked at me with bewildered eyes. Oh my father and his lack of brain mouth filter.

"You ok?" Edward asked as he kept patting my back and I kept coughing, with tears streaming down my face. I nodded my head and was actually quite thankful for the choking since at least if nothing it had diverted Edward's attention from what Charlie had said.

"Jesus, Izzy. It's just tea. And I haven't even said ten words yet." Charlie said with an exaggerated eye roll and I threw my Mom a look that said she needed to get him out of there before he embarrassed me any more.

"C'mon Charlie. Let's go make these kids something to eat. They must be starving after their journey." Renee grabbed Charlie's arm and gave Edward a sweet smile as she pulled Dad out of the living room with her.

I watched until both their forms disappeared and were out of earshot before turning to look at Edward, who had a smirk on his face and cocked an eyebrow when I met his eyes.

"Izzy? Really?" He tried to contain the twitch on the corner of his lips.

"Shut up. And forget you heard that."

"I don't know. That may be difficult. It has a nice ring to it." He said as he mouthed the name and smirked at me.

I pushed him on his shoulder a little and then leaned back on the couch, looking around the room again, feeling nostalgic about being back here, about having Edward there.

He leaned back too and looked at me. "Your parents are a little fucked up." He said in a whisper and I chuckled.

"Well, at least Charlie is. Mom's a bit better, more on the sane side. I get most of my qualities from her." I said with a smile. Edward shook his head indignantly at my self-praise and reached for the TV remote. We sat in the living room, watching a baseball match on TV while my parents made dinner. Well, Edward watched and I just sat there, thinking.

I kept stealing glances at him once in a while as he focused on the TV. It was so surreal to have Edward there, in my parents' house. Edward in his Armani jeans and a Rolex that probably cost more than the house was worth in the market currently. My parents' normal sized house that was probably smaller in its total area than the Cullens' downstairs living room. His sharp features were in such contrast to the old and worn out comfortableness of the interiors of the living room. He looked like he had just walked off the sets of a movie and did not match his surroundings at all. I had expected him to act strange when we first came in, like he had done when I had dragged him to the low-key diner for the first time, afraid of touching anything lest the "germs" stuck to him.

However, Edward didn't seem to agree with me, since his body language begged to differ. He was sitting leaned back on the couch with his head slightly tilted and resting at the back. He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out his phone and keys and put it on the table in front of us. He caught me staring at him then and frowned.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You look awfully comfortable in my parents' living room. I find that a little weird."

"Is there a reason I shouldn't be comfortable?"

I shook my head quickly. "No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just…different from what you're used to."

He looked around the room a little then looked back at me. "So? My house was different from what you were used to. Didn't stop you from getting comfortable there." He said in an almost accusing tone.

I chuckled at his defensive attitude. "Yes it was, but it didn't matter. I liked the people there so it felt like home."

"There you go then. I like the people here."

"You don't even know Charlie and Renee." I rolled my eyes.

He turned to me and gave me a meaningful look.

"Oh….Ok then." I turned back to the TV and focused on the game.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

At dinner he started putting his tomatoes on one corner of his plate. "Here," I said and brought them over to my plate. Charlie and Renee asked him about what he did, where he had gone to school, about Carlisle and Sophie and he answered them politely the whole time. There were times when he'd let an f-bomb slip and then his eyes would widen and he would give them apologetic smiles, but I counted it to a maximum of 6 by the end of dinner and was actually quite impressed. What he didn't know was that Charlie and Renee were very relaxed when it came to things like that, but what he didn't know wouldn't kill him, right? More than anything I felt grateful that he seemed to care about being nice to my parents.

"So, Edward, I've always wondered…do you guys have one of those toilets that clean you after you do your business?" Charlie suddenly said out of nowhere.

"Dad!" I screeched and made big eyes at him while Renee threw him glares and Edward snickered on my side.

"No, Charlie, we actually don't. Any reason you thought we'd have those?" Edward said with a voice that would have sounded serious to anyone else but I could hear the smile behind it.

"Well, I figured rich people had all kinds of crazy things like that, and I saw on a documentary on TV that those toilets were all the hype in Europe a few years ago. I figured the rich and the elite of the States would have caught on by now."

Edward gave him an amused smile and I groaned. "Can we please not talk about toilets during dinner? Mom?" I looked at Renee and gave her a look that said, "Rein him in!"

"Charlie." Mom said without even looking at him and that did the trick. Charlie shut up but then shared a look with Edward that clearly said "Women and their crazy rules" and I swear to god Edward even nodded slightly at him.

Thankfully dinner ended without any more incidents of my father embarrassing the daylights out of me. But then, as if my day so far hadn't been exciting enough, when Renee got up and reached for Edward's plate he surprised her by putting a hand over her arm.

"Isabella and I can do the dishes." He said to her in a smooth voice.

Her eyes widened a little as he flashed her a grin and I swear to god her pupils dilated. I chuckled as I had seen this reaction to him from females before, from waitresses and cashiers, when he contained himself enough to actually be civil with them. Those times were few but they did occur once in a while and was really entertaining when it did happen. It was ridiculous how all he had to do was not swear and lash out at them and they were puddles of goo in front of him. And it was more ridiculous that my own mother seemed to be just as affected by it. Poor woman, didn't stand a chance what with the no-swearing and the no-raising-his-voice-and-yelling-his-lungs-out and even offering to do dishes (even though he had included me in the duty like I didn't even have a say in it or anything, which by the way he was going to pay for later).

She gave him an affectionate smile before relinquishing her hold on the plate. Charlie cleared his voice a little and she rolled her eyes as she put on a pot of coffee. Edward and I cleared the table while the coffee brewed and then he washed the dishes while I dried them and put them away in the cupboards. Renee and Charlie sat around the kitchen table and made small talk with us, well mostly with Edward, since I seemed to be invisible since he had shown up. Edward was obviously not used to so much positive attention from people and seemed to be reveling in all the metaphorical oohs and aahs they were showering him with. I just held my tongue at how ridiculous this situation was and smiled to myself as I continued drying dishes.

"She really thinks you are a fairy? Why didn't you tell me that before?" Renee said to me as she laughed delightedly at Edward's little revelation.

"Oh yeah, absolutely. She threatens me regularly by saying she's going to get Isabella to put a curse on me." Edward said as he glanced at her over his shoulder in between washing a glass.

Renee sobered up from her laughter and then gave me a serious look. "But Izzy, I don't think you should let that child believe a lie. You should tell her the truth." And that's why I hadn't told her. Thank you, Edward. Because Renee was too practical for her own good. Needing things to be done right at all times.

"Mom, it's not a big deal. It helps her to think that." I said as I took the glass from Edward's waiting hands. He nodded his head towards me and then continued.

"Yeah, I used to wonder about that in the beginning too. But I agree with Isabella, I think it helps her in a good way…" Then he paused mid sentence and came to stand close to me by the cabinet where I was standing on my tiptoes, reaching to put the glass on a high shelf. "Here." He said as he took the glass from my hand and put his other hand on the small of my back and placed the glass on the shelf. Then he walked back to the sink and continued washing. "So I think it's better to let her believe that for now. She has opened up so much since Isabella came. I don't want to stop that."

I looked at Edward in a grateful way. He had never said those things to me before. He felt my gaze on the side of his face and then turned to me. He gave me a small smile then went back to the washing and blabbering with my parents.

After dinner, Charlie shocked the living daylights out of me once again.

"You smoke, son?" He asked Edward out of nowhere, who in turn threw me a questioning look.

"Um…yeah?" Edward made his answer sound like a question, probably wondering whether or not he should admit to Charlie that he smoked.

"Well, I have a couple of Cubans that I've been saving for a while. What do you say you and I light them up?" Charlie came to stand beside Edward and patted him on the back.

"Sure." Edward said and followed him out of the kitchen.

I gave Renee an incredulous look after the front door closed after Dad and Edward went outside. "Since when does Dad smoke cigars?"

Renee snorted. "Since never. He got those as a gift from Billy last year. He probably thinks it's what rich people do or something."

I had to chuckle as I thought of how Charlie pictured Edward at his place. He probably thought people like Edward and his father sat around in dark wood libraries with old books and a fireplace, smoking cigars wearing red velvet robes.

Renee and I stood by the living room window and watched Edward and Dad standing outside. We could only see their backs as they smoked and talked.

"That boy is absolutely beautiful." She said in a serious tone. I chuckled and leaned with my head on her shoulder.

"By the way, Happy Birthday, Mom." I said and she threw one of her arms around me and squeezed me tight.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Charlie and Edward came back after another fifteen minutes and we made preparations to go to bed.

"Edward, son you don't mind the couch right?" Charlie said to Edward with an apologetic look. I interfered before Edward could say anything.

"He's not sleeping on the couch. You can have my room, I'll take the couch." I said to him and left the room to get extra linen out before he could argue about this. I heard Renee take Edward upstairs to show him the room and went up with his bag after she came back downstairs.

He was standing in the middle of the room, looking around himself like there were thousands of spiders crawling everywhere. His eyes hardened when he saw me coming in.

"There's no fucking way in hell I am sleeping in your girly ass room Isabella. I mean, purple sheets? Who the fuck has purple fucking sheets?"

The f-bombs were plentiful now that we were out of my parents' hearing range. I rolled my eyes and ignored him as I brought his bag into the room. "I'll change the sheets if you don't like the color."

"It's not just the sheets. Look at all this girly crap everywhere. I'm not sleeping here."

I ignored him and proceeded to leave the room. He grabbed my arm.

"Hey, come on. I'm not going to sleep in your bed while you sleep on the fucking couch."

"Edward, I have practically lived in your house for the past three months. You are completely delusional if you think for a second I'm going to let you sleep on the couch."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

The next day continued on pretty much the same way. To my great amusement, Edward continued to charm my parents with nothing but being himself and just keeping the f-bombs out of the way more often than usual and they acted like the prodigal son had returned to them. I took each of them aside inconspicuously and gave them talks about being cool but both of them told me to take a chill pill and that I worry too much.

In the evening, Charlie took Edward out with him to meet up with Billy and a few other of his friends for drinks. I was not at all happy about letting Edward go with Charlie but then Edward threw a fit about me acting like he was a baby who couldn't take care of himself around Charlie when my parents couldn't hear us. So I relented and told him that he would have to blame himself when he regretted this later and the two of them left a few hours ago.

Renee and I sat on the kitchen table as she knitted a scarf and I poked around her knitting basket and found a sweater that she had started knitting earlier. I picked it up and resumed where she had left off. I felt a little restless that they hadn't returned yet. It was getting pretty cold outside and Edward hadn't even taken any warm clothes. I knitted a few rows then glanced quickly out the window once in a while, hoping for Charlie's cruiser to pull up any moment.

"So the two of you spend a lot of time together, huh?" Renee said with her eyes fixed on her knitting. I turned my head from the window to her.

"Edward and me? Yeah, we do. Why?"

"No reason. I can tell." She said with a shrug. I frowned a little.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means that for two people who didn't know each other three months ago you are very _in tune_."

I frowned a little again. "Well, yeah, we are quite comfortable around each other, I guess.."

Then Renee snorted. She actually snorted, and my eyes widened. She quickly tried to cover it up by coughing but it was too late.

"What was that?" I asked.

She looked at me for a few moments, as if appraising something in me. She had this look in her eyes like she was sitting with a secret and she was trying to decide whether or not she should tell me. Then she smiled a little and shook her head.

"_Comfortable_ Izzy? Really?"

I kept looking at her and my patience was running out. She appraised me again and then leaned forward a little.

"You are so _beyond_ comfortable. You two have the comfort of a married couple that has been together for years. I was watching you cook together. You anticipate each other's moves and move according to it, and you don't even have to look at each other. He moves, you move. Like magnets."

I held both my hands up.

"Mom, we eat lunch together every single day. We cook for his family together quite regularly. Of course it's like that. Like you said, we spend a lot of time together. Who _wouldn't_ be comfortable?"

She gave me a slight smile then shook her head a little.

"Do you know how many _years_ it took me and Charlie to be in the kitchen together without running into each other all the time? Hell, I still throw your Dad out at times when he gets on my nerves too much, messing up my order of things. But him and you, it's like you have the same order."

"Well you and Dad are messed up. This is how normal people function. And we just spend a lot of time together. That's all." I said the first part petulantly then the last part in a more serious tone.

"You spent a lot of time with Mike, but around him you acted like you were walking on broken glass." She said in her all-knowing tone.

"Mom, don't." She did _not_ just go there.

Then we sat quiet for a while and I was no longer in the mood to knit so I just stared out the window.

"You're into him." Renee's voice suddenly broke my gaze out the window and my eyes snapped towards her.

My mother so rarely made comments about my personal life. As much as she loved me, she had always given me a lot of space, to figure things out on my own. But when she did speak out on something, she meant business. And so, all I could do was stare at her dumbly.

"Don't look at me like that, Izzy. This can't be news to you." She again used her all-knowing tone.

I gave her an incredulous look. "Did you not hear a word of what I just said before?"

She kept knitting but raised an eyebrow at me suggestively.

I sighed again. "Please don't do that. He's my friend. One of the best friends I've had. Don't ruin this."

"I didn't say he's not your friend too."

I got up from my seat and threw the sweater back into her box. "Mom, you know how things you say always get to me. Why are you doing this?"

She put down the knitting on the table in front of her and removed her reading glasses. "Izzy, are you happy when he is around?"

"Of course I am. I am happy with his entire family. I am happier than I have ever been."

Her eyes widened at this. "Really?"

"Yes! So, please Mom, I am begging you, don't ruin this by putting these things in my head."

She reached out and held my forearm. "Isabella, stop throwing a fit like a teenager and sit down so we can talk…and I'm not putting anything into your head. I'm making an observation that you clearly seem to have missed."

I huffed a little then sat down but refused to look at her.

"Alright, let's say hypothetically, if you were into him…why would that _ruin_ things?" She said after a few moments.

"Because!"

She tilted her head to the side with a bored look on her face. Right, don't act like a teenager. I closed my eyes for a second and took a breath to steady myself in order to humor my mother's ridiculous ideas.

When I opened my eyes she was still waiting for me patiently to answer her.

"Mom, he is one of the most amazing people I have ever known. And things with him and me are just, easy. Very easy. I mean, you should have seen just how horrible our relationship was in the beginning. And he has so many problems. And I have my own. But despite all of that, by some twisted miracle we actually became friends. He means so much to me and he has come such a long way. And everything is just so great right now. I won't lose it. I refuse to lose it."

She looked at the table for a few moments, processing what I had said, before she spoke. "Ok, once again. Why would you lose your friendship if you were to have feelings for…"

"MOM! It's Edward. Remember? _Edward_?"

"I do remember. And you know she'd…"

"Don't Mom, just don't."I started to get up and leave but she grabbed my hand again and waited until I turned around and looked at her before she spoke.

"Just because you got hurt the last time you opened your heart, doesn't mean it'll happen every time. If you want to lie to him, it's fine. You want to lie to me, that's fine too. Just don't lie to yourself. See things for what they are, and then if you choose to ignore them or change your course, that's ok. But don't hide from yourself."

I looked at her for a very long moment. "I'm not into him." I said indignantly, and was going to remind her very vividly of the past but at that very moment the front door opened with a bang and I jumped and looked out the window to see Charlie's cruiser parked outside. I hadn't even noticed it pulling over while arguing with my mother.

"Izzyyyyyyyyyy!" I heard Edward's voice calling out from the hallway and my eyes went wide as saucers as I ran towards where his voice was coming from, with Renee in tow. In the hallway, Charlie was holding on to Edward, who had one arm slung over Charlie's shoulder and glassy eyes. His balance was totally off as he stumbled and Charlie struggled to keep him upright.

I looked at Charlie furiously as I launched towards Edward and held his face to get a good look at him. "What did you do to him?" I yelled at Charlie.

"What? It's not my fault the boy can't hold his alcohol." Charlie said with his free hand raised in surrender and I glared at him. He had the decency to look guilty.

"Ok, so we might have slipped him a few extra drinks to get him totally hammered."

"Dad!"

"What? He's been so…polite since he came. Then he started really loosening up and got all lovey dovey after a few drinks. So Billy and the boys slipped him a few extra drinks to get him to stay that way. It was hilarious. He kept telling Billy that he loved him." Charlie snickered and Edward joined him.

"You are unbelievable!" I gritted my teeth as I told Dad. How dare he get Edward drunk? And what was Edward thinking letting him do that! Edward stumbled again and I immediately reached out with my arms and held him around his waist.

"Are you ok?" I crouched down a little so I could look him in the eyes since he was looking at the floor. He looked at me and smiled.

"I am, now that you are here." He slurred again and Charlie snickered from his side, Edward's arm still slung around his shoulder.

I threw one more glare at Charlie. "We are going to talk about this later. I am going to take Edward to bed now."

I took Edward's arm and slung it around my shoulder instead of Charlie's and started walking him up the stairs. Just when we had reached the landing I noticed my mother standing by the kitchen doorway with her arms crossed over her chest, watching us intently. When her eyes met mine she gave me this smirk and then she looked between me and Edward, with Edward supporting all his weight on me and me holding on to him for dear life. I looked away from her instantly and rolled my eyes. I didn't have time to deal with her bullshit right then.

"Honey, let me take him upstairs." Charlie offered with an outstretched arm and I threw him another dirty look.

"I think you've done enough for tonight, Dad. I got him."I gritted out as I struggled to keep Edward balanced on the stairs.

"Ok but he _is_ very lovey-dovey right now. I'd feel more comfortable if you didn't…"

"Charlie, I think you lost the role as the "concerned father" for the evening when you decided to get my friend wasted because you and your friends thought it'd be fun."

He knew that I was _really_ pissed when I pulled out the Charlie-card so he finally backed off with his arm held up in front of him and retreated into the kitchen.

Then I felt Edward leaning his head closer to my ear. "I'm so glad to be home again. Did you wait up for me? You always wait up for me, Izzy." Edward slurred and pulled me a little tighter against him as we struggled up the stairs.

"Stop calling me that. And stop talking. You are completely wasted."I told him in a flat tone. I wasn't too happy with him for letting Charlie get him drunk either. But he was in no position to meet my anger right now.

"Are you angry with me? Please don't be angry with me. I don't like it when you get all lady Dracula on me." He said in an emotional voice that sounded like he was almost about to cry. I rolled my eyes and proceeded to get us into my room.

Once there, I made him release his death grip on my shoulder and tried to somehow get him into the bed but he just flung himself on it with a thump, lying on his stomach, with an arm and a leg hanging off the side. I grabbed hold of one side of his shirt and pulled him further into the bed so his leg and arm were no longer hanging outside. Then I took of each off his shoes and then his watch. I made him turn to lie on his back and then unbuckled his belt.

He opened his eyes a little and looked at me with the glassy look and smiled. I sat down on the bed beside him. He grabbed my hand and pulled it up to his chest.

"I love your wrist. It's so pretty. And it's cute. Did I ever tell you that?"

I chuckled at this. He really was all lovey-dovey when he was drunk. Who could've guessed.

"Are you OK?" I asked him again.

He nodded with that goofy smile still plastered on his face.

"I'm sorry about my dad and his friends. They can be very childish."

He shook his head. "I love them. And I love Billy. Can we take him back with us?"

I had to laugh now and shook my head at him. He pouted a little. "I promise I'll take care of him. He won't bug you."

"Ok, let me think about it and get back to you in the morning." I indulged him a little.

He closed his eyes again and took in a deep breath. "Did you know that you smell like my mom?"

I gasped a little and waited for him to say something more as I sat frozen in spot.

"I think that's why I used to hate you so much at first." He said with his eyes still closed, my hand still resting between both of his on his chest.

"You don't hate me anymore?" I asked in a whisper.

"No, I can never hate you."

I sighed and looked out the window into the darkness of the night._ I will hold you to that, Edward._

I reached out and pushed his hair aside a little to get a look at his cut. It was healing nicely and I moved the hair around it a little to check that there wasn't an infection or something in the area. Then I moved my eyes to the rest of Edward's face and smiled at the goofy smile that was still on his face as he rubbed his hands over mine. I moved my other hand in his hair along his scalp and his smile turned into one of contentment instead. He seemed to like it so I kept running my hand through his scalp over and over again.

"Hmmm…" He hummed as he smiled and turned his head to give me access to more parts of it. I ran my hand through the back and both the sides too. I sighed in contentment myself, as I saw how relaxed he was and how much he seemed to like my touch. I reveled in the fact that I could do this for him. Then suddenly my mother's smirk from downstairs flashed across my mind. I stilled my hand in his hair and blinked a few times. His eyes opened a little and he frowned. I smiled down at him and started running my hands through his hair again, which caused him to return to his earlier humming.

"Edward?" I asked with a slightly amused tone.

"Hmmm?" He answered.

"You are so very drunk." I giggled a little. He didn't say anything.

"When we get back to LA, will you let me and Sophie paint your toenails?"

"Hmmm." He replied and I chuckled. Might as well take advantage of his friendly drunken state.

"Do you want to go on a shopping trip to Paris with Alice?"

"Hmmm." He answered again. He was so out of it.

"Edward?" He hummed in response again.

"Will you let me see your dark room some time?"

"Hmmm."

I waited for a few minutes, watching him, before speaking.

"Edward?" I dropped my voice to a whisper.

"Hmmm."

"Am I into you?" I asked in a whisper.

Now his face broke in a smile again. "Yes. But you don't know it yet."

I sat frozen in spot at his response. I don't know why I had just asked him that. But I definitely wasn't expecting him to answer me. And definitely not say _that_. He opened his eyes again and I studied his face to see if he had any idea what he was talking about. His eyes were still glassy, his pupils dilated, and he had that goofy smile still. I sighed in relief as I realized he was indeed still out of it_. He had no idea what the hell he was talking about._

After a while when his breathing evened out and I was sure he was asleep I pulled my hand from his hair and started to get up. But this awoke him instantaneously and he reached out with both his arms and held me by my waist.

"Where are you going?" He asked with a whiny voice.

"Go to sleep. I'll be right downstairs. Just call me if you need something." I whispered to him.

"No." He tightened his grip on my waist as he pouted.

"Edward, it's late."

"Stay with me."

I laughed a little. "Ok, I'll stay until you fall asleep again. Go back to sleep." I sat back down on the bed. But he squeezed me around the waist a little.

"No, don't leave after I fall asleep. Stay. Please."

"Ok." I said to appease him.

"I don't believe you." With this he pulled me roughly towards him on the bed and it caused me to lose my balance and flop down right next to him, with my back towards his chest. He pulled me tight into his chest, wrapped both his arms around my torso and threw a leg over my thighs.

"Edward!" I hissed.

"Now you can't leave even if you want to." He said as he buried his face in my hair.

"Charlie will shoot you right now if he sees us like this."I decided to use violence to threaten him.

"Let him." He said in a whisper and then squeezed his leg around my thighs, bringing them closer to his body, effectively fusing together both of us from head to toe.

I had a vague feeling of déjà vu and realized he had held me once before in the same way when I was sick. I was so out of it back then that after a few moments of struggle to get him off, all I had felt was warmth and dozed off.

But this time I was wide awake and could feel him all around me. I could feel his chest rise and fall, I could feel his heartbeat on my back, I could feel his breath in my hair and cheek. He held on to me _so_ tight. And in spite of what Renee had said, I didn't move. I stared out at the open door and thought of how this would look if Renee or Charlie would walk in right now, but I realized I didn't really care. There were bigger issues at hand. Before tonight, at a moment like this, I would have easily said to myself that I would not move right now because Edward needed me here, he wanted me to stay. And I wanted to bring him that relief or whatever it was he got from our friendship. But then…_Oh god_…I closed my eyes as I let the thought creep into my head. Could she be right? Was it not just about what he wanted? Did I want to stay right here too, _regardless_ of what he wanted?

I felt a shudder run through my body at the thought. Edward somehow sensed this and held me even tighter. After a few more minutes of struggling with myself, the warmth he surrounded me with took over and I don't even remember when I drifted off to sleep.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

She sat in the car and stared out the window, but her eyes didn't focus on anything. Something had been off with her all morning. She barely grumbled goodbyes to her parents when we left their place and both of them seemed to be alright with it. I gave her a few meaningful looks, figuring she should've been nicer to them considering how nice they'd been to us, but she wasn't paying any attention to anything or anyone around her. She kept her eyes closed the entire plane ride, but I know that she wasn't sleeping. Now we were driving back into the city from LAX and she kept biting the nail on her left thumb and would frown her eyebrows in concentration once in a while. I made a few sounds now and then, coughed or cleared my throat, but she didn't notice any of it. It was like she was doing some kind of mental math or something and she was in a completely different world of her own.

Finally I had enough.

"So you gonna let me in on the big secret?" I asked with an irritated voice.

"What!" Her head whipped towards me in an instant and her eyes were the size of golf balls.

"The secret. Whatever the fuck it is that has you looking like you are reciting the goddamn constitution in your head."

Her face relaxed a little. "There's no secret." She said quickly and turned her head away again.

I realized that she had been avoiding making eye contact with me all morning. What the fuck? What did I do now? I thought back to this whole weekend and tried to come up with a reason she would be pissed. Although, she didn't really seem pissed. Just uncomfortable about something. Then I felt my face heat up suddenly. Fuck, did I do something inappropriate last night? I remember pulling her into bed with me before I fell asleep. Ever since the little bleeding incident in the kitchen, when I had first wanted to feel her warm safety around me, and especially after I had given in and pulled her to me in the hallway on the night when she stayed up for me, that goddamn want had turned into a need that I felt any time she was near me. And if she was close enough so I could feel her warmth and smell her that shit just shot up to exponential levels. I had, however, managed to not give in to it ever since that night because I could clearly see that any more of it would confuse the shit out of Isabella. And as much as I wanted to feel her close to me, I wanted her to stay in my godforsaken life even more. So for the sake of not messing up what we have by my fucked up needs I had kept my feelings to myself.

But then last night when her crazy ass father had gotten me drunk and she launched herself at me as soon as I came in through the door I had reveled in her closeness and didn't want to let her go for the life of me. By the time she had put me in bed, she was sitting so close and the alcohol had totally obliterated my inhibitions. So whereas I restrained myself at other times, I told her exactly what I wanted and she had just let me fall asleep with her in my arms just like that.

When I woke up today and she had acted fine and I figured she was ok with that shit, but now I was rethinking that. Maybe I had made her uncomfortable. Shit.

I looked at her and she was frowning with a faraway look in her eyes as she rested an elbow on the bottom of the window with her chin in her hand.

"Isabella."

She turned her head a little towards me, like she had one ear to me, the other somewhere else.

"Are you ok?"

She forced herself out of her reverie and looked at me for a second and gave me a wry smile. "Yeah, I'm ok. Just a little distracted. Sorry."

"It's alright. But you don't seem ok. Um, did I …make you uncomfortable? Last night?"

She frowned a little then her face relaxed. "Oh. No, no. No, Edward. It's nothing like that. Um…you didn't make me uncomfortable."

"Sure? Did I do something in my sleep?"

She now chuckled genuinely. "No. You were sleeping like a baby." Then her face turned serious. "It's not you. It's Renee. She was just…getting on my nerves."

"Really? She seems kinda like the sane one to me. I thought it'd be Charlie who'd get on your nerves."

She chuckled again. "Oh yeah, don't even get me started on him." Then we were quiet for a few second and she turned to look out the window again. Whatever Renee had said or done had really shaken her.

"What did she do?" I asked again. I didn't care if she thought I was prying. I was her fucking friend, I had a right to ask these things when she seemed upset.

"Nothing. She was just being herself. Getting on my nerves."

Ok I realized we were just going in circles so dropped it.

"Do you wanna get something to eat?"

"No, can you just drop me home?" She asked in a distant voice.

"Sure."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

When I came home I went straight for my bed and lay down on it, staring up at the ceiling. I stayed that way for hours, continuing the task I had started earlier that day, as soon as I had woken up in the morning with Edward surrounding me on all sides.

I thought and thought and thought…and then I thought some more.

I thought about the times Edward and I had spent together. I thought about how I acted with him. None of anything I did with him stood out to me, didn't feel unnatural. But Renee was so sure. She had no doubts whatsoever about what she was saying. She had looked at me like I was missing the most obvious thing in the world. But if it was so obvious, then why couldn't I see it?

I tried to think from a third person perspective. What would it look like to someone who didn't know us and all our history. I thought of the waitress Annie at the diner who gave me these appreciative looks at times when Edward walked in through the doors of the diner and every single person in the diner turned towards him. We ate together everyday and we talked all the time, we laughed and we fought. I thought of lashing out at Alice in the Cullens' kitchen. I thought of the stranger in the zoo who had thought Edward and I were Sophie's parents.

I fell asleep like that on the bed, with my shoes still on. When I woke up in the morning, I was in the middle of thinking about the same thing. I groaned and got up to change into comfortable clothes then called in sick. There was no way I was going anywhere today. I ate a bowl of cereal and then went back to bed. There, I resumed the thinking. I thought and I thought and I thought. I heard my phone ringing incessantly then went up and turned it off. I didn't have it in me to answer any calls. For the rest of the day, I ordered take out, didn't shower, didn't step outside the doors to my apartment.

I couldn't believe what Renee had said because I couldn't be that foolish. I just couldn't. There were just so many things that were wrong with that scenario. It would be the most idiotic thing in the world. Leaving aside the fact that I would get my heart broken into a thousand pieces, there were so many other variables. And Sophie. _Oh god_, Sophie. What would happen to her once everything went to hell?

Finally the doorbell rang. I ignored it first but then it kept ringing without a pause and there was banging on the door. I groaned and got up to open the thing.

"What the fuck is your fucking problem?" Edward yelled even before I had opened the door all the way.

"What?" I looked at him with confused eyes.

"_What_? You have been ignoring me for two fucking days is what!"

"Edward, we just got home yesterday, and I'm not _ignoring_ you." I rolled my eyes.

"You were ignoring me on our way home too. And ever since we came back. You won't answer my fucking calls or texts."

I sighed. "I just needed some time to think."

His eyes narrowed. "Is this still about what Renee said?"

I looked away from him. His rage finally subsided and he looked at me in my dirty sweats and my dirty hair and the apartment that was in a mess and my suitcase that was still standing in the doorway.

He groaned. "Look at this place. What the fuck could she have said that makes you act like this? Give me her number, I'll talk to her myself."

"NO!" I yelled and he got taken aback. "I mean, no you can't talk to her. DON'T talk to her. I'm ok."

"Could've fooled me. Something's off with you since yesterday morning. You're somewhere else. I don't like it."

"No, no, I promise. I'm done thinking. I'm back, I promise."

He gave me a suspicious look. "You sure?"

I gave him a genuine smile at his concern. "Yes, I'm sure."

Then something in his face changed at seeing my smile and before I knew it he had pulled me into his arms, with his chin resting on top of my head.

"There _you_ are. Now you're back. Don't fucking do that again, don't pull into yourself like that."

He held me to himself while my arms lay on my side. I should have been worried that I probably smelled awful since I hadn't taken a shower since yesterday, and how disgusting this must be for him, and how I must be getting his expensive suit all greasy, but I didn't think of any of those things. I could smell the perfume of his cologne and he smelled like citrus and mint. And all I could do was close my eyes and take in a deep breath, and let his freshness flood through all of my own messy and dirty self.

"Isabella, this means something to me." He squeezed me a little to emphasize what he meant by _this, _beforecontinuing. "I can't-….Don't ever do that to me again, alright?"

And at that moment I realized that all my thinking and reasoning and trying to come up with explanations for my behavior and the way Edward and I were close to each other had been in vain. Because I had been sitting in a corner and I had closed my eyes and pretended that the room around me didn't exist. And while it helped me to cope and deal with a situation, it didn't make the room any less real.

My mother was right. The woman was _always_ right. And all the reasons that caused her to be right could be summed up into this very moment. Because he held me onto himself because he had been concerned and he had missed me. Not because of how I looked or how I smelled, if I smelled of strawberries or fresh flowers, or if I smelled disgusting from not having showered. He held me to him because he wanted to hold _me_. Just me. I was the living room of my parents' house where Edward didn't fit in at all. But he still laid back on the worn out couch and watched baseball on the ancient TV, and he looked at ease there and for some reason and found a sort of peace and acceptance in that house that he didn't find outside of it. I realized at that moment that I had been blaming myself for this in vain. This was so far beyond my control. How could I _not_ have fallen for him?

With that realization in mind, and after having sent Edward home after convincing him over and over that I was fine, I called the only person I could have thought of talking to about this and asked him to meet me at a café downtown. He was surprised when I called and said that he had to meet me urgently and we decided to meet in an hour.

When I walked through the doors of the café I spotted him right away, sitting in a booth in a corner, sipping a bottle of beer and I quickly ran up to the booth and plopped down on the seat opposite to him. He could probably see the crazy look in my eyes and waited patiently while I tried to gather my thoughts.

"So apparently I have a thing for Edward." I blurted out when I realized I was in no state of mind to be doing any "gathering".

Jasper stopped swallowing mid-gulp and lowered his bottle of beer while keeping his eyes on me.

"And what exactly brought that to your attention?"

I huffed. "My _mother_."

Jasper chuckled and the tension melted a little and I chuckled too. "Tricky things they can be, those mothers."

"No kidding."

"So she dropped quite the bomb on you huh?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. Ya think?

"I figured it must have been something big that made you lock yourself up in your apartment driving Edward insane and making him take out all his frustration on me. Thank you for that, by the way." He was obviously trying to make jokes to make me a bit more relaxed but it wasn't really working this time.

"You're welcome." I said dryly. Then I added without pausing, "Why didn't you say something to me sooner Jasper?" This made his face all serious again.

"What makes you think I knew?" He asked cautiously.

"I know you knew. I can see it in your eyes. You didn't even flinch when I told you. You were just surprised that I was bringing it up."

He was quiet.

"Well?" I urged him. He looked at me for a long time then leaned back on his chair.

"What would you have done if you had known sooner?"

"Well I would have put a stop to it, for starters."

He nodded. "And you think that's something in your control?"

"Who else's control would it be in?" I snapped. But I knew why I snapped. He was right. It wasn't in my control. And it made me feel completely powerless.

I let out a deep breath and rubbed my hands over my face. "I don't know what I would've done. But it shouldn't have come this far. This isn't right…." Then I looked at him. "I would've moved back to Seattle sooner."

He frowned and a pained expression took over his face. Like just the thought pained him. He reached across the table and put his hand over mine. "Izzy-boo, you have brought the light back into our lives. And you have brought the life back to him. How could I ever have let that happen?"

I closed my eyes and frowned in pain. "But this is _so_ wrong."

He squeezed my hand so I would open my eyes. "Why is it wrong?"

I told him about the parts that I could tell him. The rest I kept to myself.

"Because if you are right, if I have indeed brought the life back to him, then this is like asking for him to repay me. "Hey, dude, I saved your life. And so now I want a claim on it."" I made a ridiculous male voice at the end, although I had no idea who it was supposed to sound like.

He frowned again and leaned back on his chair. "And what if he _wanted_ you to have a claim on it?"

I looked at him for a few seconds and blinked, waiting for him to explain that. He let out a long sigh and leaned forward again.

"What if Edward liked you back, Isabella?" He spoke slowly, like he was talking to a child.

I couldn't help it. I snorted and I think a little water came out my nose. "Ok, Jasper."

He obviously didn't accept that as an answer and kept looking at me in a calm away.

"Really, Jasper? Are we talking about the same Edward here? Have _you_ seen him?" I quoted his own line from weeks ago.

"Yes I have. And I have seen you. And we have established to half of this city that he thinks you are beautiful."

"Yeah, but he was just being…"

"Don't even try to say he was being anything less than serious. He made that very clear."

"Fine. But that still doesn't mean anything." I stood my point, but then realized I had to give him more reasons.

"Look, I know he likes me a lot. Like you said, our friendship has had a strong influence on him and he has changed a lot lately. And I can see that lately he is more free about letting me know just how much he appreciates everything. And he is getting more and more comfortable with me. And all those things are true for me too. But I know for a fact that he doesn't like me _that_ way."

Again, Jasper studied me for a long time before speaking. "Do you want him to like you?"

"NO! No….No, no no no. No." I looked down at the table and shook my head repeatedly.

"Tell me why. I can see that there's more to this."

I leaned my head back on the wall behind me and closed my eyes and sighed. "This can all get so so messy. I am an idiot of gigantic proportions."

**A/N: Doctor Bella's in the loop too. Time for the kids to come out and play, ladies :D :D**

**Thank you for the amazing responses to the last chapter! I loved hearing your thoughts. Caused me to sit my ass down and write this one as fast as I possibly could, while still trying to retain my place in medschool. As always, infinite amounts of love to Jadalulu. Seriously guys, I can't say this enough. Check out her profile for some great recs. The woman knows her quality fanfic. **


	20. Hide and seek

"_**Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.**__**"**_

_~ Oscar Wilde_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"How many fucking times does your phone have to ring before you answer the goddamn thing? I swear to God Isabella, I have half the mind to staple the thing to you one of these days so you actually answer the thing when someone calls you. Or is it just me? Do you purposefully avoid answering when I'm calling you or something? Hello?"

I waited for her to answer but she was quiet for a long time before speaking in a calm voice. "Hi Edward. Good morning to you too."

"Why the fuck don't you answer your phone when I call?" My voice must have carried its irritation over the phone effortlessly but I didn't care. It pissed me off to bits when she didn't answer right away when I called.

"I was in the kitchen and my phone was on silent. I didn't hear it." She said in a tired voice.

"So you couldn't just tell me that before?"

"I would have if you had given me the chance to say _anything_."

"Well I wasn't exactly gagging you or something. You are free to speak whenever you want. It's a free country."

I heard her sigh. "Yes it is. Did you call me to fight with me?"

And there, just like that, all my anger melted away. I don't know what it was but when she fought back with me and yelled at me I would just get even more worked up, but there were these moments when she would say something in a quiet and authoritative voice and that shit was powerful. I don't know how but with that calmness in her voice she held some sort of fucked up power over me and completely made my anger diffuse. I was afraid of the day she became aware of this and started using it to control me or some shit.

"No." I tried to make my voice sound irritated still but it sounded like a goddamn mouse squeaking or something. Well not really, but it felt that way to me.

"Then why are you calling?"

"I was going to ask if you want to meet for lunch. I have nothing to do today." I said in a petulant voice.

"Um, ok. But I'm going to aerobics class now. Pick me up after?" And just like that she switched to normal conversational tone, like we hadn't just been arguing a few seconds ago. I guess I should also start to get used to the fact that this was normal for us.

"Since when do you go to fucking aerobics?" I asked since she had never mentioned this before.

"Since forever. I just stopped when I came to LA. But Alice found a good class and we're going to go."

_Fuck_. "Is the Diablo going to be there too? I'm not fucking having lunch with her, especially after she's high on all those endorphins. That goddamn she-devil has enough energy to chew out my brains as it is without all the…"

"Edward! Stop. Alice isn't coming today. You can put down the attitude for now."

And the crazy shit about all this is that if it was someone else I would have snapped back right now and told them to fuck off for telling me to stop. Fuck, if _Isabella_ had said that to me a few months ago I would have told her to fuck off too. But now when she said it, I actually motherfucking stopped. Go figure.

"Good. Good for her." I tried to make my voice retain some of its irritation and not let her hear the relief.

"Ok, well I'll text you the address. Can you get me around 12?"

"Yeah that works."

"Ok great. See you then."

I paused for a few moments, trying to come up with something else to say that wouldn't sound too much like I was just looking for an excuse to stay on the phone with her. But I drew blank and sighed.

"Bye Isabella."

"Bye Edward." And she disconnected the phone. I kept the phone pressed to my ear for a long time as I stared up at the ceiling above my bed. I was still wrapped up under the covers and had called Isabella right after I had woken up.

I tossed the phone on the bed and folded my hands under my head and closed my eyes again as I tried to relive the dream I had woken up from only a few minutes ago. This shit was getting out of control. I had been dreaming of her a lot lately, but last night I had dreamt of her the entire fucking night. The _entire_ night. Nothing specific happened in the dreams. They were just filled with images of her. Of her laughter. Of her being pensive. Of her being silly and making faces. Of her hair getting caught between her lips in the wind. Images of her on a sailing boat in the middle of the ocean with the sun in her face. Of her surrounded by hundreds of butterflies. And then there was the beach. A white sand beach with blue water and palm trees. Where she was first sitting kneeling on the sand picking shells, with wildflowers in her hair. And I had walked up to her and she had looked up at me from the ground standing above her. And she flashed me a bright smile and out of nowhere just jumped into my arms.

I let out a deep breath as the memory of that part of the dream came rushing back to me in vivid details. I swear to god I could still feel her arms surrounding me, the wind whipping her hair on my face. And I could smell the sea on her hair.

And I had woken up a few minutes ago from exactly this part of the dream and had been confused for a few seconds wondering how I had suddenly ended up in my room by myself. And when I had finally realized that I was just dreaming I had felt an overwhelming urge to be close to her. I had woken up from the dream but the feelings from having had an entire night of _her_ lingered and I felt like the same closeness to her as I did in the dream, except she was nowhere around. _And_ _I needed to see her_. I wasn't going to spend this entire day without seeing her. And the fastest way to that was to call her even if just to hear her voice and then maybe try to find an excuse to see her later without the rest of the family around. So I had picked up the phone and dialed her number right away. I had been anxious and excited to talk to her and her goddamn phone just kept ringing and ringing and she wouldn't even answer the thing. Which is what had led to my initial irritation and rant when she had finally answered.

But now that we had fixed a time to meet I was calm again and flung the covers away from me to start to get ready for the day I would be spending with her. I took a shower and changed into an olive green t-shirt and dark jeans before going downstairs for breakfast. I found Dad and Sophie sitting by the kitchen counter having cereals. And I smiled as I watched her sitting there on her chair by the counter and playing with her food. A few months ago our Saturday mornings looked a hell of a lot different from this.

"_Bonjour_ Edward!" Sophie's face lit up as always when I came in and, as always, it took some of the darkness in my heart away.

I went to her and kissed her head. "_Bonjour chérie." _Then I looked at Dad who was reading the paper.

"Good morning, Dad." I said as I walked over to the counter towards the counter and poured a cup of coffee as I hummed to myself. When I turned around Dad was turning in his stool and looking at me with an amused look.

"What?" I frowned at him as I took a seat by the counter.

He smiled slightly and shook his head a little. "Nothing. So, where is our resident fairy today?"

"She's at the gym. I'm gonna go meet her for lunch." I told him with a shrug as I fished for a part of the paper.

Sophie put down her spoon on the table rather loudly and turned to me. "You are stealing my fairy again."

I gave her a surprised look. "What does that mean?"

"She was my fairy first. Then I made her promise that she would be yours too. I shared her with you, Edward! But now you are stealing her. You have to share her with me too!"

"_Chérie_, that's not true. She is still your fairy."

"No, she never comes to see me anymore. She only sees you. She never sees Aunt Alice either. Aunt Alice told me Edward. You are stealing the fairy from all of us."

I reached out and picked her up and placed her on my lap, then made her look at me. "_Je ne pourrai jamais le faire."_ I waited for her to understand that I meant what I had said. I could never do that to her.

"She is and will always be your fairy." I told her with conviction.

"Then why hasn't she come to see me all this time?" She asked with wide eyes.

"_Mon ange_, she has only been gone for a week. And that's only because last weekend she went to see her parents."

"Then why didn't she take me with her? She took you!"

I sighed and looked at Dad for some support but he just sipped his coffee with one hand and looked at the paper with a smirk on his face.

I looked at Sophie again. She was giving me an angry look. "Will you bring her here today?"

"_Chérie_, I don't know what she has planned for today. But if she is free then I will."

Sophie crawled out of my lap and jumped down on the floor then turned around to give me a threatening look. "If you don't bring her with you today then I will make the vacuum cleaner scare you again."

I pulled my lips in a hard line to show her that I took her threat seriously. She gave me one more glare then left the kitchen. I smiled to myself as I realized that Sophie was actually right. I hadn't thought much about it but I had been occupying a lot of Isabella's free time. She tried to include Alice and Jazz in our plans sometimes but I always found excuses to make sure they weren't there. But now that Sophie had pointed it out, I realized my possessiveness meant I was also keeping her away from Sophie and I didn't like the sound of that. I sipped my coffee and smirked to myself as I tried to come up with devious plans to convince her to come to the house in case she had something else to do today. I glanced at my watch and saw that there was still at least an hour and half left until I was supposed to meet her.

"When is Isabella going back to Seattle?" Dad's voice broke my train of thought and I looked at him with wide eyes. He was still looking at the paper and he had said that in a non-attached voice, like what he had said was no big deal at all.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I said in a very cold voice that would scare anyone but Dad just shrugged as he took another sip of his coffee.

"She has to go back sooner or later, since that's where she is doing her internship to start with. I'm just wondering what's keeping her here still and when her reasons for being here will come to an end. It might be a good idea to start to prepare Sophie for that so it doesn't come as too much of a shock to her."

I felt like someone was pouring a bucket of ice cold metal into my chest and it was spreading out into my limbs starting from there. _When her reasons for being here will come to an end._

"Why will they end?" I asked with my eyes on the wall ahead of me. When he didn't answer I looked at him to see him raising his brows for me to clarify my question.

"Her reasons for being here."

He fucking shrugged again. "They are not permanent. People don't move to another part of the country because they make friends and a little girl in the friends' family is attached to them."

My anger flared now. "You think that's all we are to her?"

"Of course I do, Edward. She loves this family a lot but at the end of the day if we were to put a name to the relationship she has to us, we are her friends. She has nothing else binding her to us."

I looked away from him. "She's not going anywhere."

"Has she told you that?" He asked in a curious voice.

"She doesn't fucking need to tell me anything. She isn't fucking going anywhere." I growled.

I wasn't looking at him but I could feel his eyes on me for a long time. Then he sighed loudly and put down the paper on the counter before turning his body towards me.

"Edward, _does_ she have something else that binds her to us?"

I kept my eyes ahead of me and didn't say anything. He knew. He always fucking knew me like the back of his hand. Well, if he already knew, why was he motherfucking asking me?

Suddenly I flinched a little as he put his hand on my shoulder. "If she has a reason to stay, if there indeed is something more that's binding her to us, then she needs to be aware of it."

I didn't answer him.

"Son, I know these things can be a bit scary…" I closed my eyes before he could go on any further. He thought I was keeping my feelings for Isabella to myself because I was scared_. He couldn't be more wrong._ I was too far gone to be scared or nervous. I don't know when it had happened. Maybe when she had gotten furious with me for letting Tanya use me. Maybe when she stood up for me in front of Alice. Maybe when she waited up for me to have dinner. Maybe the night of the ball. Maybe while we took care of Dad together. Maybe one of the crazy afternoons when Sophie and her tortured me in the car with their crazy ass games and giggling and singing along godawful songs. Maybe long before any of that. Maybe when she had called me _hers_. Fuck, maybe even before I met the girl. Who the fuck knows. The only thing I did know by now was that I never stood a chance. No matter how we met, my history, her history, who we were, where we came from, what we brought with us, I never had a chance to stand up against any of it. There was never any other way about it. It was like there was a giant tidal wave of it that just came out of nowhere and pushed me over. I _had_ to fall for her. How could I fucking not? Who the fuck can stand up in front of a tidal fucking wave?

And it had scared me and freaked me out at first but then I realized that there wasn't any point. This was beyond my grasp. It didn't matter if I was scared, if I ran from it, if I took myself away from this or tried to push her away or some shit like that. Because regardless of it all, I had and would have kept falling deeper. The only thing I could do was hope that she wouldn't break me because she sure as hell had the power to.

And somehow, she had always had that power. I didn't know how to describe it, but it was always there. Her presence in my life, the effect she had on me, the silent power that she held over me without being aware of it, it was not something _I_ had given her. _I had merely resigned to the fact that she already had all that right from the start and I was at her mercy._

So I had decided to fuck it all and just let things happen. I wasn't scared anymore. She and I _were_. And that was it. It was clear as day in my eyes. Even if she couldn't see it. Not yet at least. For all the world's intelligence that she carried with her, that girl was fucking clueless sometimes. And with my goddamn luck, this was of course one of those times. I don't know if she really didn't see it or just didn't want to see it, but I had decided to not push her into anything. The last thing I needed was for her to freak the fuck out.

"What if she is not ready to be aware of it?" I said to Dad with my eyes still closed.

Dad slowly removed his hand from my shoulder. "Why wouldn't she be?"

I opened my eyes and looked at him intently. "I can see it in her eyes. She is terrified of it."

He looked at me for a very long time then turned to stare out the French doors. He sat like that while long minutes passed in silence and I wondered what the fuck he was thinking so hard about. Finally he broke the silence.

"Why do you think she's terrified?" He asked in a disinterested voice, like he didn't really care what my answer would be. He was just making conversation.

"I don't know. The motherfucking ex did a lot of damage. Maybe she thinks it would ruin our friendship if things don't work out. "

He nodded his head slightly, still keeping his eyes out the doors. Then he turned towards me with a look of quiet determination in his eyes. "She may never be ready to see it on her own Edward. But she should know. She should be just as aware of it as you are. She should know without any shadow of a doubt how you feel."

I gave him an incredulous look. "And what if the shit hits the roof?"

His look intensified. "Then it does. But the truth needs to come out. If things go too far, it could hurt both of you beyond repair."

Jeez, easy with the intensity already. He looked even more anxious about this than I was. And besides, did he think I was just going to attack her with my advances or something? I motherfucking liked the girl. _She_ was my first priority. Even if I was going to push her a little into it, as he was suggesting, I would do it very carefully and gradually. I would ease her into things.

I leaned back a little and raised an eyebrow at him. "Jesus, Dad. Calm the fuck down will you. We are not talking about a fucking nuclear war. I'm just going to tell her that I like her."

The look on Dad's face softened and as my words registered with him his face broke into a wide smile and his eyes glittered with love and pride and happiness. _Yeah yeah, I was his fucked up son who was finding his fucking way in life. _Alert the motherfucking presses. I rolled my eyes and got up to put the mug in the sink before walking out the door. I went out to the hall and collected the keys to the Aston Martin to drive for the day. Always my car of choice for special days.

Just before I stepped out the main door Dad came into the foyer.

"Edward." He called out from behind me and I turned around to face him.

"She is a good person and has her heart in the right place. Never forget that."

I rolled my eyes at his dramatic lines and left to hop into my car. _Of course I knew that_. Like he needed to tell _me_.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

When I reached the gym where her class was at I realized I had arrived too soon. There were still at least 20 minutes left until her class ended and I groaned in annoyance. What the fuck was I going to do until then? My excitement from the talk with Dad and my excitement from before to see Isabella, combined with the purr of the engine of the Vanquish under my hands and the sun shining on me with the roof down had caused me to drive like a maniac and get here earlier than I had planned.

Before I knew it I was walking in through the doors of the gym and sweet talking the receptionist into letting me take a look at their facilities "before I considered joining". Yeah, right. But a few toothy smiles and innocent winks from my side and the bitch was literally panting and ushering me through the doors. I got rid of her, telling her that I'd come find her once I'd made up my mind and started to look for the big hall where they had the dance aerobics classes. And it didn't take long, since it was in the fucking centre of the building. There were about 25 or so people, all girls, dancing synchronically to an upbeat song following an instructor up front. The room had mirrors on all sides and I stood outside one of the glass doors that provided a generous view of the inside with a group of girls who were waiting for the next class to start. I must've looked ridiculous in my jeans and t-shirt since everyone else was wearing work out clothes but I couldn't give a fuck. Some of the girls behind me were giggling and once bitch even brushed up against me with her fake boobs but I didn't even have the urge to yell at her or anything as I stared through the glass door at the sight ahead of me.

Isabella was in the front row of the class towards the left end of the row, with her back to me. But I saw her clearly on the mirror on the opposite wall. She was wearing grey yoga pants and a sports bra with a threadbare white t-shirt that hung over one of her shoulders and that she had tied in a knot on the left side of her stomach, showing off a diagonal sliver of skin that increased in size every time she threw her arms above her head in a move. The moves were pretty intense and complicated, but she kept up with them effortlessly. Her hair was in a high ponytail, with strands of it hanging loose and plastered to the sweat on her face. Although she was sweating and panting from the exertion, she executed every move in perfect synchrony with the rest of the class and with more grace than anyone I had ever seen. She smiled and laughed with some movies, while her face grew serious in concentration with some. They ended the routine with a complicated maneuvering of their upper bodies to be bending sideways and touching the floor with one hand while the other one stuck out in the air and their legs were spread out under them. The song ended and everyone clapped and she did too as she raised herself up then bent down at the waist a little in exhaustion. She ran across the room, with her ponytail swinging from side to side, and picked up a towel and rubbed her neck and forehead with it as she gulped down water from a bottle.

The sweat dripped down her neck and disappeared in her chest. Her clothes were already slightly drenched but she poured some water over herself to cool herself down.

_Motherfucking hell. _

I stood still for a second, suddenly very aware of the group of girls still giggling and speaking in hushed whispers behind me. I couldn't leave without turning around to face them. And I couldn't turn around towards them because they would become very aware of my situation.

But then Isabella leaned down to pick up the rest of her stuff and I realized she was going to come out the door that I was standing outside. And if there was anything that I wanted more than to not have other people be aware of my situation, it was to not have Isabella be aware of my situation.

Fuck these bitches.

I turned around and practically ran out of the place. I ignored the receptionist who tried to come up and talk to me and just ran out the front gates and into the safety of my car. Isabella would need at least 15 more minutes to shower and get dressed before she'd come out. That gave me plenty of time to calm myself down. _Jasper's back hair. Jasper's back hair. Jasper's back hair._

I was still chanting to myself with my eyes closed when I suddenly heard the passenger door to my car unlock. I opened my eyes and quickly glanced down at my lap to make sure everything was ok before I looked up to see Isabella standing over the car with a confused look on her face.

"Were you just chanting "Jasper's back hair" to yourself?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

_Shit_. "No. Why? Were you?" Um…yeah…smart, Cullen.

She wrinkled her nose a little in disgust and then shook her head a little in wonder before throwing her bag inside the car and then started getting in herself. She had now changed to jeans and a simple white top, with her hair still wet from her shower and pulled back in a bun on top of her head. Her cheeks were flushed with her exercise and I could smell her body wash and shampoo as she leaned in to remove something from the passenger seat. I looked ahead and started _picturing_ Jasper's back hair this time.

"Does your friend always have to come with us everywhere we go?" I glanced at her slightly to see her pointing to my camera lying on the passenger seat. She shook her head indignantly and set about removing it to make place for herself, completely unaware of my predicament. I decided to focus on engaging in conversation with her to keep myself from any further humiliation this morning.

"Hey, I don't complain about yours." I pointed to the back seat and then turned on the engine as she buckled herself in.

"Did you just compare Marvin to an inanimate object?" She gave me a look of mock horror as I pulled us out of the parking spot. I had moved stuff from the backseat enough times to know that the motherfucker was riding with us at all times.

"Don't call my camera an inanimate object." I warned.

"And it's ok for you to call my boyfriend that?" She quipped.

"Oh, he's your fucking boyfriend now?" What? There are laws against being jealous of motherfucking imaginary friends? So sue me.

She rolled her eyes. "You're the one that made him into my boyfriend. You put it in his head. Our friendship was perfect until you came along and ruined it by putting all those other silly thoughts in his head. Now he won't take no for an answer."

I was quiet for a few moments, thinking about what she had said. "Well, good for him. If he feels that way, then he feels that way. You can't blame him for that. And also, why exactly are these "silly thoughts" ruining your friendship. You can have both." I glanced at her once then looked at the road again.

She gave me a dubious look. "Wow, you are really giving me and Marvin a lot of thought."

I gave her a level look. "Just answer the fucking question."

She sighed and looked ahead. "Because things won't stay as simple if all the 'silly thoughts' get involved."

I frowned as I thought about it. Who the fuck wants _simple_ when you can have heaven? I noticed that she was also frowning and I tried to lighten up the moment a little.

"So is that the way to get you say yes then? By not taking no for an answer?" I asked with a slight smirk and glanced at her.

"To get me to say yes to what?" She asked in a tight voice and I knew I had gone too far.

"Um, to convince you to come home with me. Sophie was chewing my brains out this morning. She even threatened to unleash the goddamn vacuum cleaner on me."

Her face relaxed immediately and lit up. _Thank god_. "Oh! Yeah, sure. Just take me home first so I can pack an overnight bag."

We talked about our respective weeks for a while and then fell into silence for a few minutes before Isabella's head suddenly snapped towards me.

"Hey, Edward. Did you come inside to the gym?"

My jaw dropped and I felt my ears burn up in embarrassment. I refused to look at her. "Why?"

"The girls were talking about some hot piece of ass checking us out during our class." She said in a casual tone. My tension disappeared at the implication of what she had just said and a huge smirk took over my face. When the car stopped at a red signal I turned to her.

"And why would that automatically make you think of me?" I made sure she was looking at me when I said this, the smirk huge on my face. Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said. But then she recovered and put on an indifferent expression and just shrugged her shoulders. Yeah, she wasn't getting away that easily.

"Oh now all of a sudden you think I'm a hot piece of ass huh? That's quite a change in attitude from before when you thought I couldn't even pick up a chick, Isabella."

She turned her head out towards the window. "Whatever. I've never denied that you are good looking, if you recall correctly."

"Aha, sure." I grinned to myself as I pulled out of the signal and continued driving.

"Where do you wanna eat. And please not at some godforsaken dump." I said after a few minutes and she mumbled about going anywhere I wanted but kept her eyes out the window for most of the time. It was fine with me because it gave me a chance to look at her. She seemed to be a bit more fidgety today than usual and sometimes looked at me but then quickly averted her eyes when she caught me looking at her. She was still flushed and her skin was glowing from her workout. She pulled out the band in her hair and let it dry in the sun, the wind whipping it all over her face and sending wafts of her scent towards me. How the fuck can she ever doubt that she's beautiful?

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I kept stealing glances at Edward in the car, while he drove with one hand, the other one used to prop up his head. My whole "I'm just going to pretend like nothing has changed" plan wasn't working out at all. I was extremely aware of him. The way he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, the way he glared at a car trying to overtake us, the way he ran his hand through his hair at times. I almost flinched once when he reached out with his hand to open the dashboard to get something out. He gave me a dubious look then kept focusing on the road.

It had been five days since I had made my little self-discovery and talked to Jasper in the coffee shop. Thankfully Edward and I were both busy with work so I hadn't seen him much during the week. Our lunches had been fine and we had continued to text each other. I had decided that I would just pretend like nothing had changed and continue things the way they were for now. I didn't really know what else to do right now.

I thought about leaving for Seattle. But I couldn't find a way out…a reason that was strong enough to make me suddenly pick up and leave. Edward and I were close enough so that I knew he wouldn't let me leave just like that. He would get furious and demand I give him a good reason, and I didn't have one currently.

And then there was the whole thing about me not wanting to leave. How could I leave? As if Sophie and Carlisle and Alice and Jasper weren't enough to tie me with their love. Or Edward wasn't enough to tie me with his friendship. Now I even had _this_. How can I ever leave him? But then, how can I stay and let things go on the way they are? Which brought me to my next plan. To be honest with Edward about my reasons for leaving. But I couldn't do that either. More than anything else. It wasn't my choice to make.

I had been trying to immerse myself in as much normalcy as I could. I met Edward for lunch everyday and answered his texts and calls and kept my interactions with him just as they had been before. I paid a lot of attention to work in order to distract myself. I thought the aerobics class this morning would also put me in better spirits. And it did, for about half an hour. But then I took one look at Edward sitting in his car, with his sunglasses tucked into the v-neck of his t-shirt, the sun shining on him, and even though at that moment he looked a little anxious about something his overall demeanor was that of a happy person. There was a glint in his eyes that wasn't there when he had first met me. His eyes that used to be hard at all times were relaxed and the wrinkles around them appeared only when he smiled from his heart. Apparently I had caused that. And it felt me with dread to think that I could be the reason for that to go away.

I had walked into the house later that day and found Sophie sitting in the foyer with the vacuum cleaner resting beside her and she had squealed and ran to my arms. I had squeezed her tight and almost broken down from all the love I felt for her. Edward had been forgiven and the vacuum cleaner was put away.

Later that night, we sat around the kitchen island as we ate the meal Edward and I had prepared for the family. I was chatting away with Alice about the aerobics class and how great the steps were and didn't notice Sophie's intent look on me until it was too late.

"Bella, do you have a boyfriend?" Her clear voice rang out over everyone else's and Jasper started coughing up the drink he had just taken. Edward gave him a confused look and I gave him a glare that would hopefully keep him up at night.

I turned to Sophie and plastered a smile on my face. "Um…no sweetie. I don't." Then I quickly turned to Alice and started talking to her again, hoping she'd let it go.

"Why don't you have a boyfriend Bella?" She asked again, obviously not caring about me ignoring her.

My eyes quickly darted to Edward's, who was looking levelly at his plate, before I looked at her. Everyone else at the table had paused their conversations.

"Fairies don't have boyfriends sweetie. My only job is to take care of my princes and princesses."

She furrowed her brows. "But why can't you fall in love with a prince?"

"I don't know any princes." I quickly answered her without thinking but then a shiver ran down my spine as I saw her eyeing Edward and opening her mouth to speak. Thankfully, Edward looked at her the exact same moment and also realized what she was about to say next and quickly scooped her up from her chair.

"Hey, I think we need to go get us some pistachio ice cream, don't you?"

God bless him. I mouthed a thank you at him as he left the kitchen with Sophie in his arms and focused on my conversation with Alice again, ignoring Jasper's amused smirks.

Later that night, I sat with Sophie's head on my lap and Edward leaning on my shoulder, both of them fast asleep. Alice and Jasper had left about an hour ago. Carlisle had gone into his study and the three of us had decided to watch a movie. By the time the movie had ended the two people on my sides had each fallen deeply asleep resting on some part of me or other. I kept my eyes on the TV. The movie had ended and there was a documentary on Alzheimer's on the Discovery Channel. I sat on the couch, feeling my heart filled to the brim with how much I cared for the people that were currently surrounding me, tears running down my face, but couldn't stop them. I felt so out of control.

Carlisle came in after a while and I quickly wiped my tears away before he could see them. He gave me a wistful smile when he saw how I was being sandwiched and came up to the couch.

"I'll take some of the load off you." He smiled and crouched down to pick Sophie up in his arms and left the room. Edward's arm went around my waist and he moved closer to me. I laid my cheek on the top of his head resting on my shoulder and let out a long sigh.

I sat there for a long time that way, before finally it all got to be too much and I felt like I was going to suffocate. I gently removed his head from my shoulder and slipped out of the room and walked out to the balcony on the second floor of the mansion that overlooked the ocean. There was a full moon on the sky right above the horizon, covered partially by clouds, but still sending some rays out and lighting up the night. I don't know how long I stood there, holding on to the railing and staring ahead of me and saying a hundred different prayers in my mind.

"Hey," Edward's voice said softly from behind me and I turned my head.

"Hey." I said as he came to stand beside me by the railing of the balcony, and turned my head towards the ocean again. The clouds had disappeared completely now, the moon complete and glorious above the horizon, making every single wave on the dark ocean glitter.

"Aren't you going to play tonight?" He asked in a soft voice that was still groggy from sleep.

"Sure. In a little while." I gave him a little smile.

"What are you doing out here on your own?" He finally asked after a few more moments of silence.

I shrugged. "I just wanted to get some fresh air."

"Did Sophie tire you with her questions?" He said with a slight amusement to his tone. I just smiled back at him.

"So…why is that?" He asked after a long time.

"Why is what?"

"That you don't have a boyfriend."

I closed my eyes for a second. This is definitely not the conversation I want to be having with him. I stole a glance at him and he was looking at me with a cautious but expectant face. I decided to use humor to distract him.

I rolled my eyes deliberately. "Well, I don't really see where I'd have time for one anyways, as I spend all my time with you."

His face hardened. "Well, you don't have to spend all your time with me. Just tell me if you want time on your own to…do other things."

I rolled my eyes again. Really meaning it this time. "That's not what I meant."

His face didn't change. "Edward, I don't…" Ugh. "There's no one else that I want to be spending time with anyways." There. Hope that makes him happy.

"What if there was someone?" He asked after a while.

"What about it?"

He pondered something for a few minutes, then his eyes brightened with something and he turned around to lean with his elbows resting on the railing, with his back to the ocean and his face tilted towards me.

"Imagine when you go to work tomorrow, there's a really good looking motherfucker that catches your eye. You two hit it off and he wants to get to know you better. Are you imagining this?"

_No. I_ _don't want to imagine something that's never going to happe_n. But I didn't tell him that and nodded.

"Ok, then you two hit it off and after a few weeks he thinks that you spend too much time with your other…uh, friends. What would you do?"

I glanced out at the ocean once, irritated with this conversation already. The thought of meeting someone else is preposterous when all I did in the hospital whenever I had any time off was think of him and this situation. But I looked at him then and I could see that he was not going to let this go. So I sighed and decided to humor him.

"I would tell him that my friends come with the package and he has to deal with it."

Edward frowned a little then his face straightened again. "What if he specifically had a problem with me?"

"Why you?" I asked in a voice that was a little breathy and I quickly cleared my throat.

"Because I'm a good looking motherfucker and he'd be insanely insecure." He smirked.

I shook my head in amusement. "I'd tell him that he has nothing to be insecure about." His face fell for a second before he straightened it again.

"He doesn't believe you." He said with a serious tone.

"Oh? And you know this for a fact?" I challenged.

"Yes, I am him for the moment. And I'm telling you Isabella, I don't buy this thing between you and Edward. I think you two are too close."

"Well, Mr. Imaginary Boyfriend, Edward is one of my best friends. Of course we are close. You have no reason to be jealous." His face hardened and he leaned a bit closer to me.

"I don't believe you. I think there's more to your relationship to Edward than friendship."

My eyes widened and I diverted my eyes from his immediately. "You're crazy." His eyes went from my eyes to my cheeks then back to my eyes.

"Then why are you flushed?"

I blushed even more. "Because…you…whatever your name is, are crazy and saying ridiculous things."

"John." He said in an impassive voice, still studying me carefully.

"Fine, _John_." I spat, keeping my eyes on the ocean.

Then he leaned closer to me and I froze. He leaned close enough so I could feel the warmth coming from his body.

"I need to know what this is about before I'm too far gone."

I felt my breathing accelerate as I frowned and stared at the ocean without really seeing anything. If I looked at him then he would be able to see the answer to his questions far too well.

"Are you going to break my heart Isabella?" He asked in a whisper and his voice was so small, so unguarded. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. _Why is he doing this? _

After a few moments I found my voice and quickly stepped away from the railing without looking at him. "Edward, I am exhausted and don't feel like playing games right now. I'm going to bed."

I quickly went to my room and locked the door. I refused to think about all this craziness. I didn't know what had gotten into Edward but for some reason he was trying very hard to get on my nerves lately. I brushed my teeth vigorously and splashed cold water on my face before crawling into bed and squeezing my eyes shut, waiting for the sweet relief of sleep. Then suddenly I heard my phone buzz and I jumped up. No one ever texted me this late at night. I quickly scrambled towards my bedside table and grabbed my phone. The screen said that I had a text message from Edward. I frowned in confusion. Why was he texting me when he was across the hall from me?

"_**Sorry if I upset you. I was just goofing around."**_His text said. I sighed in relief. He was just feeling bad about making me uncomfortable.

"_**I know. It's ok. I'm just tired."**_ I answered and set down the phone on the nightstand again and lay back down. The phone buzzed again and this time I just reached with my hand and stayed on my back on the bed while I read his text.

"_**I don't think John likes me very much."**_

I smiled at this. He was trying to lighten the situation. I was glad for it.

"_**Well, I don't blame him. You **_**are**_** very good looking."**_ And I could see the smirk on his face when he would read that.

"_**That's twice today."**_

"_**Twice what?"**_ I asked.

"_**You've complimented me on my looks."**_

"_**It's the truth."**_ I shrugged to myself as I typed.

"_**You bet your ass it is." **_Now I had to laugh. That sentence right there was Edward in a nutshell.

"_**Go to sleep Prince Charming."**_

"_**Yes, Fairy God Mother."**_

"_**Good night, Edward. Sweet dreams."**_

There was a long pause before his reply came.

"_**You too Isabella."**_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I ended up staying at the Cullens' on Sunday too and Edward, Carlisle and I all took Sophie to the zoo that day. She exhausted all of us as usual and thankfully there were no run-ins with crazy women that pawed all over Edward this time. We spent Sunday night watching Beauty and the Beast for the six hundredth time. On Monday morning I made breakfast for everyone before leaving for work and Sophie and Carlisle and I sat around the kitchen island eating when Edward walked in still wearing his sweats. His eyes perked up when he saw all the food and grabbed a waffle as he sat down.

"Good morning!" He kissed Sophie's head and looked at me at the same time. I smiled at him and greeted him back while Sophie reached up and kissed his cheek.

"Will you drop me at the hospital on your way to work?" I asked him as he ate.

"Sure. Go get ready. I have to leave in half an hour." He said with an easy tone.

"Ok." I jumped up and ran to my room to shower and get ready. Just as I was done getting dressed and was putting on my shoes I heard Edward's voice from across the hall.

"Isabella, can you come in here?" He called from his room. I finished putting my shoes on and then walked down the corridor to his room and knocked.

"It's me." I said.

"Who the fuck else would it be?" He said in an irritated tone. I rolled my eyes and peaked inside.

"Just thought I'd announce myself before barging in."

"I'm the one who asked you to come."

I rolled my eyes again and just went inside. "What is it?"

He held up a shirt. "I need a button fixed. I don't know how to do it."

I frowned. "And you don't have any other shirts?"

"Yes, I do. But I want to wear this one today."

"Edward, it's a white shirt. I'm sure you have other white shirts. In fact, you bought about five of them when we went shopping."

"I want to wear this one today and I don't see why I have to explain myself to you. Now do you know how to fix a button or not?"

"Yes I do. Hand it over." I held out a hand and he gave me the shirt and a button that had come off and looked at me expectantly.

"I need some thread and a needle." I waved the things in my hand.

"Oh, right. Hold on."

He sprinted out of the room and I went to sit on the leather couch opposite to his bed, waiting for him. He returned a few minutes later with a little sewing kit and handed it to me. I raised an eyebrow at him while I took it from him. "Do I even want to know why you own a sewing kit?"

His face hardened and he looked away. "It's not mine."

I was midway to opening the lid of the kit and paused my movement. I looked at the kit more carefully and sighed a little. I looked up to see Edward looking at me with blank eyes and I gave him a little smile and then started threading a needle with some white thread.

"I'm going to jump in the shower while you do that." He said after a few moments. I looked up at him and gave him a nod and another smile. This time his face lit up and he smiled back. Then he started walking towards the bathroom door and then out of nowhere just casually took of his t-shirt when he was midway through the room. He flung the t-shirt on his bed and I followed its movement with my eyes as it flew across the room then turned my eyes to Edward's back again and gaped at him. Since when was he _that_ comfortable around me?

"I won't be long." He called out just before going in and I quickly looked down at the shirt in my hands.

I heard the shower turn on and was suddenly very uncomfortable sitting in his room. Maybe I should just take this back to my room and finish fixing the button there. I got up and quickly walked to the door, but then I stopped. If I left then he would definitely plague me about why I had left and I would have to try to make up something and he would know that I was somehow uncomfortable. I didn't want him to think that. That would just stir up a million more questions from him. So I walked back to the couch and sat down.

Then Edward started humming in the shower and I got up from the couch again. This is too intimate. I looked at the bed and his discarded t-shirt. I mean, seriously. He is in the shower, with no clothes on, humming to himself. And I am barely 10 meters away from all that. This is just not right. I threw the shirt I was holding with the needle and thread sticking to it on the couch and ran for the door again. But then he turned off the shower and continued to hum and I knew he was done and was going to come back out soon. I looked panicked between the door and the couch and ran back towards the couch and picked up the shirt and resumed sewing before he came out. _Just_ _act normal, just act normal. It's just Edward. And he was just taking a shower. No biggie. _

Then I heard the door to the bathroom open and I kept running the needle through the button without looking up at him. He paused the humming right after he came out and stopped in front of the door, but I didn't look up. After a few moments he continued the humming and I heard his footsteps go towards his chest of drawers.

"What time do you get off work today?" He asked and then continued to hum.

"Seven." I said as I finished putting the needle through the little hole in the button.

"You wanna come back here? I can get you and then drop you at work again tomorrow morning." He asked.

"Sure, if it's not too much…"I stopped midsentence, since I had made the mistake of looking up to answer him. I tried to make more words come out, but not so much as a breath was coming out of me. He turned around to see what was up and I almost gasped.

He turned around from the chest of drawers with a pair of grey boxers in his hands. They were in his hands because he wasn't wearing any, I presumed. And I presumed because he was wearing a towel around his waist that hung low on his hips and came barely above his knees. And that was it. Oh yeah, and a bunch of water drops all over his torso and dripping from his hair.

Is he _kidding_ me!

I have to give Edward credit because he did not react at all to the look of utter shock that must have been on my face. He just walked to the bed where he had earlier discarded a smaller towel and started rubbing it on his hair.

My eyes were still fixed on the chest of drawers and I was still sitting with the same look of astonishment on my face as he made his way around the room and picked up this and that while wiping himself down. Finally he passed my line of vision one more time and I immediately lowered my eyes and started working with the button again.

"Oh also, did you make up your mind about the party?" He said while wiping his chest with the towel.

I focused very hard on the button. _I so do not want to be having this conversation right now._ "No, Edward. I told you before, I am not going to Tanya's party."

"C'mon Isabella. Not this shit again. I told you, I have already talked to her and that shit is over between us. And if I show up at her party that will salvage at least some of the mess that she will create otherwise. But it's fuckass boring to be at one of those things and I might actually have some fun if you come."

_How is he talking so casually when he is practically naked?_ I tried to make my voice sound unaffected.

"Edward, I told you. I really don't want to be around her or any of her friends. I can't guarantee you that anything will be _salvaged_ if I show up there. Besides, she didn't invite me."

"What is this, fucking high school? You can't keep your paws off her for one evening? And she did invite you. I told her you'd be coming with me."

I rolled my eyes at the button. Then he threw down the smaller towel on the bed again and came to sit beside me on the couch. My eyes were more than ever fixated on the button but from the corner of my eyes I could still see his thighs through the slit in the towel.

"C'mon, Isabella. I really don't want to go by myself."

"Take Alice and Jasper." I said quickly and my voice was a little squeaky. I cleared my throat immediately.

"No, they won't go to Tanya's party."

"Yeah, see. No sane person does." I replied to the button.

"Will you fucking look at me when I am talking to you?" He suddenly said in an angry voice and it caught me off guard.

I let out a deep breath and looked pointedly at the floor. "Will you put some clothes on when I am looking at you?"

I heard him let out a small chuckle and turned my head to gape at him. Well, at his face. I refused to look at the rest of his not-so-covered form when he was that close to me.

His smirk was ever present. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" he raised one arm to be back of the couch and leaned back on it.

"Ya think?" I countered.

He frowned in amusement. "But you said I was good looking."

"So?"

"So then you should enjoy looking at me like this. Not blush like a fucking tomato."

I turned my face a 180 degrees so it was so far away from him as possible. "Edward, stop being so obnoxious and just go put some clothes on!"

He let out a hearty laugh and jumped up from the couch and then out of nowhere ruffled my hair before walking away.

"Relax Isabella. I'll put away the good stuff." I turned again to gape at him and he looked at me over his shoulders and winked. "For now."

**A/N: Cocky bastard, I know. But that's why I love him. And I also love every one of you who lets me know their thoughts if you somehow react to what I write. It is the ultimate compliment to a writer.**

**Sorry this one took a while. The story has reached a critical point and it takes a lot of thinking on my part to put the details together right now. Also, school is crazy. Bad combo right there. But next chappy shouldn't take as long. **

**Those of you that want to kill me for not getting these two together yet…All I am going to say is that there isn't a single sentence in this story that is without purpose. So believe me when I say, I have my reasons for the way things are playing out. Just know that I am not dragging anything out unnecessarily. We are getting there, ladies. Soon your patience will be rewarded.**

**Finally, my eternal love to Jadalulu, my beta extraordinaire. She has an amazing C2 called Intensity, which is filled with well written fics that are must-reads for all avid ff readers. Check it out if you are new to this world or are looking for some out of the box fics that render you speechless. She's got what you need.**


	21. The storm Part I

"_**There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm."**_

~ _Willa Sibert Cather_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

To desire someone, and to have the same person desire you back. Such a simple thing for so many people. It's a given. He wants me and I want him back. An obvious concept for so many women.

But it's not simple. And it definitely isn't a given. Six billion people on this planet, and your heart one day says to you, I want to belong to _that_ one. You sit by the windowsill of a castle like mansion and watch the garden outside, the blue of the ocean beyond forming a serene backdrop for the colorful flowers adorning the garden. You watch three grown men wracking their brains and fumbling about a little pink bicycle that they are trying to assemble, without much success. You watch a little girl revolving around the men who are in turn revolving around the pieces of the bicycle, waiting impatiently for them to hand over her possession in its completed form.

And it was to one of these three men that my heart was asking me to be handed over to. And I smiled wryly, thinking again of the many women on this planet to whom this would have been such a simple thing. They would walk up from this windowsill and make their way out of the French doors to the garden. They would walk to the little group of people gathering around the shiny pink bike pieces. They would put a hand on this man's shoulder, this man that her heart desired, who was currently squatting on the ground, bent down over the handle of the bike and trying to connect it to the front tire with apt attention. He would look up from what he was doing, the sun shining on his face, making him squint a little as a smile would form on the corner of his lips at seeing the woman. The woman would bend down and whisper something in his ears, then wrap her arms around him and kiss him. And the people around them would be jubilant over this. The father of the man would shine with pride and happiness, the friend of the man would smirk, the little girl would squeal and throw herself at the kissing couple. The wife of the friend would catch this sight from the kitchen and shriek in surprise.

I blinked and cleared my eyes of that scene, replacing it with the one ahead of me. Edward, Carlisle and Jasper were getting increasingly agitated at not being able to assemble Sophie's bike after having been at it for more than two hours, while Sophie was now bored and started picking out flowers from the garden and filling the little wicker basket that came with the bike with the flowers.

I turned my eyes to Edward again. I took in his forearms straining to screw together something, as a deep crease formed on his brow in concentration. His white t-shirt was starting to get damp at places with his sweat, after having sat in the sun for so long. His hair was wild, he had obviously not used any products on it today, giving it a very floppy and relaxed form. My heart ached for a millionth time as I once again wished I was one of those people to whom love came so easily. Who would dare to respond to the advances of the man they desired and throw caution to the air to dive headlong into this abyss.

And advances were made by the man in question, rest assured. I might not have understood it when he had pranced around me in a towel or made important conversations about our relationship under the disguise of using my imaginary friend or my imaginary boyfriend, getting irritated at him for being so blatant. But over the past week I had come to realize, in his own twisted way, it was Edward trying to tell me something. He never pushed me too far, and he backed off as soon as he sensed that I was getting uncomfortable. But as his little gestures kept increasing in frequency, my confusion wore off and gave way to clarity. Edward wanted to be more than friends.

I couldn't just trust my own judgment on this though, so I had dragged Jasper off to a coffee shop with me again. And I had forced him to reveal what he knew. He had said that he honestly hadn't talked to Edward about it, so he didn't actually _know,_ but then he knew, in his own Jasper way. He said he knew Edward more than anyone else, he knew every mood, every defense mechanism, every quirk. And he _knew_ that Edward wanted more from me.

With that knowledge in mind, I had reassessed things between me and Edward since the night of the ball. And I had looked at Edward's increasing brushes against my skin or flirtatious comments this week in this new light. And I could see that Jasper was right.

About a week ago, Edward had asked me a very important, self-preservative question. _"I need to know what this is about before I'm too far gone"_, he had asked me, under the guise of being John the imaginary boyfriend, who feared my relationship with Edward was more than just friendship. I laughed now at my inability to see through his almost blatant admission of feelings through that whole conversation.

After I talked to Jasper, I saw more than clearly now what Edward was trying to ask me. And I didn't blame him. It must be confusing to him, to feel all my care and worry for him, to feel little flecks of a deeper kind of affection, but then doubting himself when I drew back as soon as he advanced.

And that's what brings us back to what I was doing currently. Sitting by the window sill, watching him fighting with the bike in the garden, wishing I didn't have to hold back, that I could just let it all go and jump into the abyss that he was calling me into. That I was one of those lucky people for whom it was all very simple. You desire someone and the person desires you back. And your life falls into place, the stars align and you find home. I wasn't one of them. I saw my home right ahead of me. But it was unattainable, a star in the sky that I could watch from afar and admire, but that I wasn't allowed to reach out and touch, let alone pluck from the sky and keep it for myself.

"What are you staring at?" Alice asked without looking at me, as she chopped vegetable on the kitchen counter.

"Nothing. Just watching the guys fail miserably at trying to put together Sophie's bike." I answered as I smiled at the guys in question, none of whom had any idea that they were being scrutinized.

"Such a bunch of knuckleheads. We are taking over if they don't get it done in another five minutes." She said exasperatedly. I smiled at her in amusement.

"Did you just call Carlisle a knucklehead?"

She looked up at me and her eyes widened a little. Then she decided she was ok with it and just shrugged.

"Do you need some help?" I asked while turning my head back to the garden, looking for Sophie to make sure she was in sight. She was plucking wildflowers from one of the bushes and trying to stick some of them in her hair, failing miserably as the flowers just kept falling off her hair.

"No, I got it." Alice said as she placed a bunch of chopped tomatoes into a bowl. Then her eyes glimmered suddenly as she was reaching for a cucumber.

"We haven't done anything fun for ages. Should we have a girl's night tomorrow? You, me and Sophie? We could do mani-pedis and print new t-shirts for you two and the knucklehead."

I looked at her quickly. "Oh no, please no more t-shirts. Sophie insists we wear them whenever we go out and it's getting out of control. Nowadays my only excuse is that they are in the laundry. Edward used to help out with coming up with excuses before, but even he has stopped now." I had a feeling he actually secretly liked those matching t-shirts.

"Besides, I have to go to Tanya's party tomorrow." I said with a sigh.

Alice put down her knife and crossed her arms. "You don't _have_ to do anything. Tell that asshole to leave you alone if you don't want to go."

I gave Alice a meaningful look and she held my gaze for a long time, not backing down, then finally huffed.

"Fine, tell _Edward_ to back off and leave you alone."

"Thank you. See, was that so hard? Now Alice, he's not forcing me. I just know he'd rather not go to the thing alone and I don't want him to have to. Besides, I don't want to leave him to fend for himself around the clutches of that woman."

She huffed again. "What are you now, his babysitter? Isabella, that ass-, er Edward, can take care of himself. You never spend any time with me anymore!" She pouted her lips and made me feel guilty.

"Alice, we meet all the time!" I tried to wriggle my way out of it.

"Not as much as we used to before you and the beast became all cozy."

I got off the window sill and walked around the corner to where she was standing. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her temple.

"I'm cozy with you too. And you have Jasper. He doesn't have anyone else."

She huffed again but I knew she had given in. "Ok, but I still miss my friend."

"I miss you too." I squeezed her for good measure. "Now let's go and put the damn bike together before the guys completely ruin the thing. I think I saw Jasper get a sledgehammer some time ago."

This got her attention. Her eyes widened and she quickly made me release her and charged for the French doors.

"Jasper Hale, I swear to god, if you have ruined that girl's brand new bike I will make you pay for it in blood." She threatened as she neared the guys. I followed her and went out to the garden.

Sophie had now finished plucking her flowers and was doing circles around the huddle of men around her bike like before, but this time she was showering each of them with petals. Each of the men had different colored petals stuck to their shirts and hair but none of them paid any attention to it. I suspect they had tried to remove some of those at first but finally given in as Sophie persisted in her actions. Alice kept yelling threats at the guys, trying to get them to back off from the bike. Jasper was arguing with her, while Carlisle tried to make her leave them alone in a calm manner and Edward just ignored her completely. Apparently it was very important for them that they succeeded in this mission.

I went closer to the huddle and caught Sophie from behind her just as she was standing behind Edward and sprinkling him with petals. I hugged her from behind and brought her close to my body as I spoke in her ear in a low voice.

"What are you doing, bumble-bee?"

"I am helping them!" She said as she sprinkled Edward with some daisy petals.

"How are the flowers helping them, sweetie?" I asked her with a smile. She turned to me and gave me an exasperated look.

"Because the flowers make them pretty, Bella!" She spoke like I was an idiot. I laughed and kissed her forehead. Then I reached around her and plucked some petals from Edward's crazy hair. He stiffened for a second but then turned his head slightly and gave me a smirk.

"How 'bout that Edward? Do you feel pretty with all the flowers?" I asked him with a smile.

He threw me a glance as he kept screwing something onto the handle of the bike. "You tell me. You think I look pretty, Isabella?"

I wrapped my arms around Sophie more firmly. "I always think you look pretty." I said and smiled at Sophie who gave me a very proud smile.

Edward smirked but kept his eyes on the bike parts. After a few more minutes of his grumbling at the thing while I weaved some flowers into Sophie's hair he gave up with a groan and lay down on his back flat on the grass.

"_Desolée_ _princesse_, I give up. I'll buy you another tomorrow and make sure all the parts are attached before we leave the store. " He said with an unsatisfied tone as he closed his eyes against the sun shining straight on his face. Alice took over reins of the bike assembling, while Jasper and Carlisle watched with wonder in their faces as she unwrapped the manual from its plastic cover and worked expertly by actually following instructions. Go figure.

"I give up too." Sophie mimicked Edward with a huff and lay down beside him, copying his posture.

I smiled at the two of them and all I wanted to do was throw myself between them and hold on to them for dear life. I felt so much love inside me, trying to break its way out of my heart that I had to look away. I saw Jasper and Carlisle eyeing me and turned away from them too, not liking their penetrating gazes. Finally I lay down beside Sophie and mimicked her and Edward. It was just easier to close my eyes like the two of them had.

"I give up too." I said as I flopped down beside Sophie.

"You three are equally crazy." Alice commented as she glanced up from the bike once to take in the image of Edward, Sophie and I lying side by side on the grass.

Alice's attention was soon focused solely on the bike and Carlisle and Jasper started trying to give her instructions on what to do while she told them off.

I smiled at the sound of their arguing voices with my eyes closed. This moment right here was as perfect as things got.

I opened my eyes after a while and turned my head to see Edward was now on his side, one arm propped up on his elbow, his hand holding his head up, with a slight smile on his face as he watched me. I raised an eyebrow at him, but he didn't say anything. I turned my head slightly towards him and knitted my brows a little, wanting more than anything else in the world to reach out to him. It would be so easy. To just reach with my hand and brush the hair away from his forehead, in a caring gesture.

"My tummy makes funny sounds when I eat beans." Sophie's voice rang out clearly from between us suddenly and startled both of us. We both looked in amazement at her still closed eyes then back at each other. I broke out in laughter first and then Edward followed suit. Sophie opened her eyes and gave us each a confused look then patted my hair a little before getting up and going to Carlisle.

An hour later Sophie's bike was ready and forgotten in the yard, while she and the rest of the family sat watching TV in the living room. Edward and I were in the kitchen making spaghetti and meatballs.

I was stirring the sauce while Edward was in charge of setting the table. But he was doing a little more than that.

His arm brushed against my elbow when he reached for glasses from the cabinet above my head. He had to reach around me to get to the napkins instead of walking to the other side to have easier access to them. He happened to spill a little water on the counter next to the stove and then stand there for a very long time wiping it all away as his hands kept brushing against mine. He even used some soap and gave it a good scrub while he was at it. I flinched at his contacts but otherwise kept my eyes fixed on the stove in front of me. That seemed to get through to him ultimately since he left the area around me and hovered on the far side of the kitchen for a while.

I became lost in thought while I stirred the sauce. As it had been the case with me lately, I lost focus easily and a million things started going through my head. A million different scenarios. A million different "what if's".

Suddenly Edward was beside me again and he frowned as he looked at the stove. Then he got a washcloth and started wiping the sauce that was spilling on the sides where had had just cleaned up some time ago.

"What the fuck are you spilling all that sauce for? Will you pay attention already?" He grumbled as he cleaned the red sauce.

"Sorry." I mumbled and lowered the heat a little. Then as I stirred again a drop flew away and splattered on the counter and I bit my lips, waiting for him to yell.

"What are you doing to that thing? You are stirring it all wrong, that's why it keeps flying off everywhere." He grumbled again.

"I'm stirring it fine." I grumbled back.

"No you're not. Here, let me show you." Then suddenly, out of nowhere, he was standing behind me, his entire front pressed to my back, one hand resting on the counter beside me, while the other held my hand that was holding the spoon and stirred the sauce in smooth round motions.

All the air left my body as I felt every curve of his body behind me. The feeling of _him_ around me was so intense. It was everything I wanted and everything I wasn't allowed to have. I clenched my jaw, trying to rein my emotions in. This whole situation was hard enough, and Edward wasn't making things easier for me.

"Relax, will you. No wonder things are flying all over the place. You are so tense." He said in a low voice since his lips were only a few inches away from my ear.

I swallowed audibly, trying to find my voice. "Why don't you do this. I'll finish setting the table." I said in a small and scared voice, wanting him to take a step back before I moved. If I moved while we were in the same position I would only press myself further onto him.

He didn't move an inch.

"Table's done." He said and pressed himself a bit more into my back, which made me stand flush against the counter.

I couldn't take it anymore. I closed my eyes. I closed my eyes while he kept stirring the sauce with our hands and his body surrounded me.

Then his mouth was very very close to my ear, and I could feel his shallow breaths on my skin before he spoke in a whisper.

"Just let it go, Isabella."

I was quiet for a few moments, waiting for him to elaborate. To back off as he usually did after he had taken things this far. But he didn't say anything.

"What?" I tried to make my voice sound unaffected but probably failed.

"You know what." His voice was calm while the storm erupted full force inside me at his words. I knew where he was going with this_._ I squeezed my eyes shut even more.

"What are you doing to Bella?" Sophie's loud voice rang through the kitchen suddenly and Edward jumped away from me like something had just caught fire. I turned around to see Sophie with her hands on her waist, giving Edward an angry look. I had never loved that kid more.

"Nothing." Edward stuttered and his cheeks were slightly red.

"I saw you were squeezing her to the stove and she looked like she was going to cry. Did you burn yourself Bella?" Sophie asked.

Edward turned his eyes to me and looked horrified and ashamed. "You were going to cry?"

I quickly shook my head at him. "No, no." Then I looked at Sophie. "I wasn't going to cry, sweetie. I was just spilling sauce and Edward was showing me how to do it right."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"Hey, Edward…did you see my cell phone?" I walked through the door to Edward's room that he had left open. I was already dressed for the party, wearing a black cocktail dress with strappy black heels and walked into his room while still clasping the watch around my wrist.

I saw him sitting on the edge of his bed, lacing his dress shoes, wearing black slacks and a white shirt, with a black tie still hanging lose around his neck. He looked up from the shoes for a second when I walked in but just kept looking at me instead of answering, so I just started looking under his leather couch.

"I think I left it here earlier when Sophie and I were playing in here." I kept walking around his room flipping books and papers on his desk, then going over to his bed and looking under his pillows and sheets. I caught his eye again and saw that he was still looking at me.

I raised an eyebrow in irritation. "Do you mind answering? It's a yes or no question."

He looked away from me and started lacing his shoes again and sighed. "No, I haven't. And you look nice, by the way." He said the last part in a very low voice so I barely heard him.

I paused in my tracks and looked at him fully. _Ugh!_ I had been quite short with him lately, especially in the past week. All my turmoil inside was taking a toll on my mood and I kept snapping at him for some reason. Well, I knew the reason. He was the one that was closest to my heart. So somehow it was him my heart directed its current feelings towards.

But at the sound of his resigned voice and posture the feelings my heart was directing changed from irritation to guilt and tenderness. A lot of tenderness.

I went and stood right in front of him and waited to speak until he looked up at me.

"Can I do that?" I asked in a soft and apologetic voice as I pointed at the tie hanging loose around his neck.

He blinked once then stood up, his arms resting on his sides, a slight frown between his brows, trying to decipher my sudden shift in mood.

I reached out and started tying a knot around his neck and alternated glances between his eyes and the tie.

"Hey, you're wearing the necklace we got you." He pointed at the necklace around my neck that was Sophie's gift to me on my birthday.

I raised an eyebrow. "We? I remember you being very adamant about making sure I knew that you had nothing to do with it."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever." Then he reached for the necklace but I moved away from him a little.

"Don't open it." I warned him and he gave me a frown.

"Why? You got some secret boyfriend's picture in there or something?"

I felt a corner of my lips lift up because he wasn't too far off the mark. I had kept Sophie's picture in the locket, but had replaced Tinker Bell's with a picture of him. As his fingers neared the locket again I looked up at him in amusement. I needed to distract him from the task.

"Are you the same guy I met back then?" I asked with a slight smile. His frown just deepened as he studied my face closely to try to read what I meant and his fingers withdrew.

"You know, the Edward Cullen who breathed fire down my throat if I so much as looked at him the wrong way? You let me get away with a lot of crap lately." I told him honestly.

One of the corners of his lips raised at this. "Consider it payback for all the times you let me get away with my crap."

I smiled at him in return. Then as I kept making a perfect knot I took a deep breath.

"Edward, I am your friend, right?" I asked his tie and even I could hear the trepidation in my voice. Edward was quiet for a few seconds but I kept my attention on the tie. Finally he took hold of one of my hands and squeezed, making me look up at him.

"You're my best friend."

"I thought Jasper was your best friend." I asked with a frown.

He shook his head with a serious look on his face. "He is more like a brother, really. You are a friend in all its true meaning."

"Ok." I finished his knot and pulled it until it sat perfectly around his neck, then straightened his shirt. As I was about to move away from him he took my hand in his again and made me look at him.

"Is there a particular reason you were wondering that?"

I shook my head at first. Then I looked him square in the eyes. "I just…I don't think I have ever thanked you for letting me be your friend. For letting me in. It means a lot. I want you to always know that."

His frown deepened and a panicked look came across his face. "Why do you make it sound like something is ending?"

I took in a deep breath as I held his gaze. "It's not. I just want to make sure you know that. You and I, we are so different. Sometimes, it feels like we are here against all odds. And I'm just afraid of the odds catching up." I was blabbering and I was not sure what I was saying anymore, but my thoughts themselves were all tangled up and I could see that Edward was just as confused.

I quickly flashed him a smile and took a step back from him, grabbing his hand and leading him out of the room. "Now let's go to this thing and get it over with."

And he followed me without question.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

The party was what I had expected. It was held at Tanya's apartment on the penthouse of an exclusive building. The theme was black and she had gone all out. There were black chandeliers, black drapes everywhere, black candles in lanterns, even black drinks. The place was filled with young Hollywood and LA's rich young crowd. Alcohol was flowing everywhere and its effects on the party goers were not subtle. Heavy metal was booming through the sound boxes.

The middle of Tanya's huge living room was cleared out into a dance floor and the people dancing were overtly grinding themselves against each other. It was the first thing that caught my attention when the doors to the elevator opened into her apartment. I kind of stopped in my tracks trying to take it all in and Edward was immediately surrounded by the group of people that were standing by the elevators. He nodded and grumbled out a few responses at them for a few minutes before he noticed me standing to the side looking like I just really wanted to leave. He broke free from the crowd and came over to me quickly, making everyone turn their heads towards us.

"You ok?" He shouted a little over the music as he stood quite close to me, shielding me from the rest of the crowd.

I nodded at him vigorously but I think he saw the look of hesitance on my face. This place was the exact opposite of where I would want to be.

"We won't stay long, ok? Let's go find Tanya and then we can leave." He said and I nodded at him in gratitude.

"Here." He held out his hand. "Don't let it go until we are out of the building."

I took his hand with no hesitation whatsoever and immediately my face and entire body relaxed. With him shielding me, I could only see him right then and the feel of his strong hand holding mine steadily reassured me. It didn't matter what hellhole we were at since he was there.

Edward pulled me close to his side and I followed him further into the apartment. Some people turned to give us and our joined hands incredulous looks, followed immediately by their eyes taking me in head to toe, probably wondering what girl Edward Cullen had brought with him, while others just ignored us. Edward, however, was greeted by numerous people everywhere we went and my eyes widened as people I had seen on TV said excited hello's to him while he just barely grumbled a hi in return.

Finally we saw Tanya across the room and she immediately made her way to us.

"There you are! I have been waiting for you all night." Tanya said in a sugary voice as she put both her arms around Edward's neck and kissed him on the cheek. Edward put one of his hands lightly on her back, hugging her in return, while his other hand still held on to my wrist.

When Tanya finally let go Edward looked at Tanya then glanced at me, trying to bring my presence there to her attention but she just kept her eyes on Edward. I decided to be the bigger person since I had been quite bitchy to her the last time we had met and I was at her party after all.

"Hi Tanya. It's nice to see you again." I said in a polite voice. Her eyes turned to me reluctantly.

"Oh, hi Isabella. Sorry I didn't see you there. It's hard to see anyone else when Adonis is in front of you, right?" She looked back at Edward and swallowed him with her eyes.

I gave Edward an amused look and squeezed his hand a little. He just looked irritated at her but his face softened a little when he finally glanced at me.

"Yeah, I guess." I replied while I smiled at her slightly.

"You guess? C'mon. You spend so much time with the man. How do you ever get anything done?" She asked me in a sugary voice.

"She does just fine, Tanya. How's Alex?" Edward answered for me as he stepped a little closer to me.

"Oh he's fine. Flying to Jakarta or Honolulu or something tonight. Who knows." She said with a wave of her hands.

Just then John Pratt, a Hollywood superstar whose movies I had watched and whom I had a little crush on walked up to us and wrapped an arm around Tanya's shoulders.

"You torturing Edward again, Tanya? I thought you promised to quit or some shit like that."

Then he held out his hand to Edward and winked at him. Edward smirked slightly and took his hand. This was the only person in the party whose hand Edward had taken so I assumed he must be an ok guy.

"You and me both John. But she seems to have forgotten a few things we talked about earlier." Edward threw Tanya a cold look before looking back at John, who in turn was now looking at me intently.

"Hi, I don't think we've met before. John Pratt. Are you the girl they cast for the new Spielberg movie?" He held out his hand as his eyes gave me an appreciative glance. I tried to wriggle my hand free of Edward's so I could shake his hand but Edward just clasped it more tightly. I looked at Edward and leveled him with my eyes and he finally let my hand go after an annoyed look thrown at John, who watched the whole exchange with much amusement.

"Hi. I know who you are. I'm Isabella and definitely not the girl they cast for the new Spielberg movie." I took his hand quickly and flashed him a very happy smile_. Oh my god, I was shaking hands with John Pratt._ I think I died a little.

"No? I could've sworn…I mean with those legs. Damn girl, you _should_ be the girl in the Spielberg movie."

I threw back my head and let out a very girlish giggle, totally dazzled by John Pratt, but then sobered when I noticed Edward's incredulous glare fixed on me.

"No, um, I'm just here with Edward." I pointed my thumb at the man in question, who quickly seized my hand and held it tighter than before.

"Yes she is and she definitely doesn't need to be in a fucking movie. She's a doctor." Edward said the last part with a tight voice, but somehow I assumed for once in his life he was glad of my profession.

John now looked me head to toe very obviously and then looked at me incredulously. "You are kidding right? All this and brains too?"

I let out a nervous laughter and looked away. I wasn't used to men making comments about my looks, let alone John friggin Pratt.

"So how's the new movie coming along, John?" Edward asked quickly, trying to change the topic but John was adamant.

"Forget about the movie, Ed. Where'd you find this girl? You gotta hook me up with one of these too, man." John winked at me slightly to let me know he was just kidding and I smiled back at him, understanding that he was only trying to give me a compliment.

"First of all, don't fucking talk about her in that tone. Second of all, she is my friend and I'm sure you can find yourself one too if you stop messing around with one of those models once in a while."

"Hey. You weren't complaining when I was hooking you up with them models last year. And second of all, hold the phone. She's your _friend_?"

He looked at us and then our joined hands incredulously. I nodded my head at him and smiled.

"So you're fair game?" He asked with a wink and I giggled a little again. It didn't care what he said. Every time John Pratt spoke to me I transformed into my high school self.

Edward had enough and he came to stand right smack between me and John while we were still smiling at each other, effectively ending our conversation, with his back turned to me.

"She is not fucking fair game and keep those eyes and hands to yourself before I rip them off your body Pratt."

This time both John and I broke off in laughter and I peeked around Edward's shoulder to look at John. He was holding up his hands in a surrendering gesture.

"Ok, calm down, Ed. Just yanking your chain man. Keep this beauty all to yourself."

I tugged Edward's elbow and he stepped back, assuming his previous position next to me.

"Really Ed, you gotta start taking better care of the girl though. She doesn't even have a drink in her hands. Let me go get her one." With that John winked at me again and strutted away towards the bar. I was smiling at his retreating form until I caught Edward's glare.

"You couldn't have worn something more decent?" He growled at me as he looked at my legs.

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, Edward. Every single girl over here is showing more skin than I am."

"I don't care what everyone else is wearing."

"Are you serious? You do realize he was just kidding with all that stuff right? He was clearly enjoying seeing you throw a fit. By the way, why didn't you ever tell me you know John Pratt!" I slapped his arm a little as I sqrealed out the last part.

He looked ever more annoyed now. "What? You have a fucking crush on him or something?"

"I have a HUGE crush on him. Have had one for years!" I said as I looked through the crowd to see if I could spot him again.

I felt Edward start to take deep breaths next to him and returned my attention to him. His face was red.

"What? What's wrong with that? You don't have a crush on some female actress that you really like?"

"Yeah well I don't go flaunting my assets to them in a miniscule dress and then have them hit on me."

I rolled my eyes again. "He wasn't hitting on me. You made it quite clear that I was here with you."

He suddenly made me release his arm that I was now holding on to and took a step away. His eyes look hurt. "I can leave you to yourself if you want to talk to him." His eyes were guarded and I could tell it was hard for him to say that. I smiled and reached for his arm again and then turned back to the crowd. The man was so clueless sometimes. He clearly couldn't see that the only reason I was even talking to John Pratt and wasn't embarrassed to death by his comments was only because Edward was holding on to me. Because I had him on my side.

"I wouldn't talk to him if you weren't here, Edward. I would only have stolen a few glances at him from a distance. The only reason I was even talking to him was because you seemed to be ok with him."

Edward looked at me for a long time to verify my words then shrugged. "He's ok."

Now that he seemed assured I decided to lighten the situation. "Say, did you notice the coincidence with the names?" I asked slyly and he gave me a confused look.

"He's called John." And I smiled widely at Edward who finally caught on. "Maybe I can ask him if he wants to be my imaginary boyfriend."

"The hell…" Edward started but was interrupted by John Pratt returning with two glasses of cocktails in his hands.

The three of us stood in the corner and talked for a long time. Once he put away the whole flirting thing John actually turned out to be a really cool guy. He was funny and smart and told amazing jokes. He had me laughing my head off and even Edward let a few twitches of his lips slip once in a while. I held on to Edward's arm the entire time and felt myself relax more and more. I wondered if he would have a problem with me clinging to him like that but he didn't seem to mind.

When our drinks ran out Edward offered to get us a new round this time, leaving me to listen to John's story of how he had earlier that day escaped from the clutches of a bunch of fan girls by climbing down a fire escape. While I laughed with my head thrown back at his narration of how his pants caught in one of the railings, leaving him to hang halfway out the fire escape until his manager came to his rescue, I suddenly felt an arm snake around my waist and someone kissing my cheek and froze in spot, not believing Edward's forwardness. Then I looked up to see his face and then almost squealed when I saw the face of a man I didn't recognize. The man had blond hair and blue eyes. He was tall, his biceps obviously well worked out. He wore a deep blue shirt with black leather pants.

He gave me a sly smile as I looked at him incredulously.

"I just saw you from across the room and fell in love with those legs, girl. Who do we have here then? And why are you hiding this piece of ass from me, Pratt?" The man said with a wink towards me but it had none of the playful innocence of any of John's earlier winks. I shuddered a little under the eyes of this blond man. John put a hand on the man's arm and dragged him away from me.

"Easy, James. She's with Edward Cullen and he will not leave you in one piece if he found out you put your hands on her."

The blond man's eyes widened and he looked at me again. "I see. So _you_ are Isabella, huh? I guess I see what all the fuss is about."

I didn't answer him and looked at the crowd to see if Edward was coming back. My mood had shifted radically and I wanted him by my side again. I wanted to hold onto his arm.

As if in an answer to my prayers, Edward appeared through the crowd, holding a bunch of drinks in his hands. He smiled slightly and waved the drinks at me when he caught my eyes but then his eyes fell on James and his demeanor changed immediately. His face lost its relaxed amusement and hardened as his pace quickened. He put down the drinks on a table beside us as he came to stand with the group. James was standing quite close to me and tried to move closer to make place for him but Edward deliberately inserted himself in between us and turned to James.

"Hey, Edward. Didn't know you had arrived, man. I finally got to meet your girl. Tanya won't shut up about her."

Edward looked at me once to make sure I was ok before answering James. "James. Good to see you. Isabella is a friend. And your sister shouldn't be fucking talking to you or anyone else about her." Edward said in a tone that was calm on the outside but had a menacing hint to it. So, James and Tanya were siblings. That explained it. Asshole-ness apparently ran in the family. Poor Alex, I wondered how he had ended up with such evil spawn.

"Well, according to her, Isabella stole her favorite boy toy, so you can't really blame the girl."

Edward opened his mouth to say something but at that moment Tanya came up to the group holding a phone in her hand. "Oh, I see all of you found each other. Hey, Edward, it's Dad. He wants to talk to you about some sort of papers that he wants me to give you tonight."

"Ok." Edward held out his hand for the phone and tried to talk in it but couldn't hear anything over the sound of the music. He gave me a tentative look and I leaned close to him.

"Go take it outside. I'll be fine for a few minutes." I told him and he nodded and glanced once at James, who was now talking animatedly with John, before heading out to the balcony, with Tanya in tow. I sighed a little as I saw her go after him, but I knew Edward would handle it on his own if she tried to throw herself at him again. James and John were in a conversation but James kept throwing glances towards me and some specific parts of my body after Edward left, which made me uncomfortable. I excused myself and went off to find a bathroom.

The apartment was enormous and I left the party area and walked towards one of the halls with doors on each of its sides, trying each door to find the bathroom. The sound of the music was muted in this part of the apartment and the lights were also very sparse here. When I reached the end of the corridor I finally found the bathroom and went inside.

While I washed my hands by the sink, I saw that my hair was practically falling apart. I stood in front of the mirror and started to readjust the clips in my hair to get it back in place.

Then I heard the distinct click of a key being inserted into the lock of the door and whipped my head towards it. In a second James was inside the bathroom, pressing the door closed behind him and looking at me hungrily.

"Hi Isabella." He said with a slight smile and I just looked between him and the door incredulously. Did he just break into the bathroom?

"What are you doing here?" I asked him in a loud voice.

"Well, I saw you walking away from the crowd, so I figured you were trying to find a more secluded place for us."

"I locked the door to the bathroom, James. That doesn't exactly say 'Welcome in'."

He smirked. "You know, you have been causing my sister a lot of grief. And now you have been torturing me with those legs. What do you say about making up for it, Isabella?"

I felt my heartbeat thudding inside my chest but took a deep breath.

"You are completely out of line. You need to step aside and let me out of this bathroom right now, James." I said with a calm voice.

"No, c'mon. How can I let you out before we've had our fun? How 'bout we make a deal. I'll let you out after you've let me in." He winked at me again and I shuddered in disgust.

The thing is that I wasn't actually scared. I was nervous because of the situation but I was nowhere as terrified as I should have been. Because I knew that whatever thoughts James had in his head were completely futile. I was there with Edward and he would never let anything happen to me. It was only a matter of time before he came looking for me. I just had to hold on until his call with Alex finished and he noticed me missing.

"I'm not going to say this again. You need to open that door James." I told him with a slight threat in my voice.

"The only thing I need, Isabella, is for you to let me fuck you in this bathroom. And don't worry. Edward and I have shared our conquests in the past. He won't mind."

Then he started moving towards me and I looked at the door behind him. _C'mon_ _Edward_.

I needed to distract him.

"Why me, James? I'm sure you can pick between a handful of other girls in this party." I asked in a curious voice while my eyes kept returning to the door. I hadn't moved an inch since he had stepped into the bathroom.

"Because your name and your mere existence have been driving me crazy for weeks now. My sister won't shut up about how she wondered what he saw in you that he didn't see in her. And it kinda irked my curiosity, you see. What is it about you that Edward dumped Tanya over after they've had their thing for so many years. You must be quite the fuck. I didn't wanna miss out on that. And then I saw you tonight and realized what the deal was. The other girls here are hot in a fake way but you are hot through and through. You stand there and giggle and have a nice time, not having a fucking clue about the number of hard on's you're causing around the room. And I can see how that'd get Cullen's attention. You're a very rare kind in our society, Isabella. And I'm kinda tired of all the fakeness. I'd like to try fucking a real girl."

I didn't care that he thought something more than friendship was going on between me and Edward. I couldn't care less about his opinions. I decided to unleash my last weapon against him.

"James, Edward will not be happy about this."

"He doesn't have to know."

And then he was on me. He pushed me back into the sink and pressed his body to mine. I threw out my arms, trying to push him back, but he grabbed each of my hands and pinned them next to me on the sink. He sank his face in my neck as he ground himself against me. I finally let out a strangled cry of disgust as I felt him rubbing himself against me. This however, seemed to get him even more excited as he started to frantically rub his entire body against mine.

"EDWARDDDDDDDDDDDD!" I let out a cry at the top of my lungs as I felt James' body against every part of me.

James took my hands behind my back and held them both in one of his. Then he brought his free hand to his zipper and started to undo it. I cried after Edward another time before I took advantage of his temporary distraction and tried to knee him in the groin with all my might. He was, however too tall for me so my knee only reached his thigh. It seemed to do the trick though, since he let go of my hands and held on to his thigh as he bent over a little.

"Fuck! You bitch!" He cried as he winced. I took advantage of this as I wriggled past him with all my might and made for the door. He, however, recovered fast and placed one of his feet in front of one of mine and made me trip so that I landed bent over the toilet sit. I felt my ankle twisting all the way and winced in pain, but it wasn't my main concern right then. I tried to get up and make for the door again but he held me by the back of my dress and then slammed me against the wall on the opposite side of the bathroom before covering me with his body again.

"You just made this the most interesting game of my life, Isabella." He sneered as he once again pinned my hands on the sides and then bent down to my neck. This time, however, he didn't only rub his face there. He sank his teeth deep into my flesh at the base of my neck and I cried out Edward's name once again, this time both in pain and in anger and in disgust.

And finally, my calls were answered. One second, James' hands were moving across my ribs up to my breasts, in the second the bathroom door was lying on the floor with the force of Edward's kick.

Standing in the dark corridor, with his dark tie hanging lose around his neck, his shirt sleeves folded halfway up to his elbows, his hair in a mess from him having run his hand through it god knows how many times probably while he looked for me, Edward took in the scene in front of him. His entire face was flushed with fury, the tendons on his neck prominent, the veins on his forehead pulsating, his hands in tight fists beside him.

In the darkness of that corridor, taking in Edward's fierce anger, the strangest thing happened. My fear for my own safety disappeared and instead, I felt scared for James, the man who was still pawing at me. Because if all these days I thought I had experienced Edward's fury, I had no idea what I was talking about. At that moment, I could honestly see that Edward wouldn't flinch twice to kill James.

"James, you need to get out of here right now if you want to live." I said to him in a calm voice and the conviction in my voice must have taken him by surprise because he immediately stepped back and looked at me with wide eyes. At that moment, Edward grabbed him from behind at the nape of his neck and sent him flying into the mirror over the sink, which immediately shattered in pieces and James went limp on the sink, with shards of glass sticking on his back.

Edward hadn't broken eye contact with me the entire time since he had kicked down the door, and even now he simply walked across the bathroom to where I was standing and looked at me intently for a few seconds. Then he dropped his gaze and looked through the rest of my body, as if taking inventory of every part. His breaths came out deep and fast and his hand clenched at his sides. I couldn't even move anymore.

James finally regained his bearings and came towards Edward and put a hand on his arm. "How fucking dare you throw me…" But he couldn't finish his sentence. Without even looked at him, Edward once again threw him to another wall of the bathroom and James bounced off of it before crouching down on the floor and groaning loudly. I heard the distinct sound of a bone snapping in two but didn't want to think about what bone it was.

Edward came back to me again and looked me square in the eye.

"Did he hurt you?" The coldness in his voice sent a shiver down my spine as I looked at James crouched on the floor, unable to move and Edward hadn't even started yet.

I couldn't speak anymore. I just shook my head from side to side, which was a wrong move, because that moved the hair away from my neck and Edward's eyes flashed to it instantly. I knew the exact moment he noticed the bite mark because every bit of softness left his eyes and there was only rage in them. He looked back at me slowly and deliberately.

"Go and wait for me in the car."

I swallowed and looked at James. I didn't care about what happened to him but I couldn't let Edward do something that would hurt him in any way later. I reached out with my hand and touched his arm, but he flinched back from me and his eyes transformed with my touch. They were now filled with hurt and regret and disgust and fury at himself. He was blaming himself for letting this happen. I knew him well enough to know that.

"I'm ok, Edward. I just need you to take me home."

His eyes hardened immediately. "I'm not _asking_ you, Isabella. Go to the fucking car and lock the doors while you wait for me."

"He's not worth it, Edward. I won't leave without you." I reached for him again and he didn't draw back this time though his eyes remained hard.

James came back to his sense and started coughing and sputtering as he tried to get up from the floor. "Fuck! You fucking, asshole! You have some guts coming to my fucking house and doing this to me. You're going to regret this day for the rest of your life, Edward."

Edward's eyes hardened further but he didn't break eye contact with me. "Are you going to leave or not?"

"Edward, please let's just go." I pleaded with him but it didn't have any effect. He removed my hand from his arm, took it in his hand and led me out of the bathroom to the corridor.

"I hope she was worth it Edward because I am going to make sure I destroy you and your family after this night." James threatened and Edward shielded me with his body so he couldn't see me.

Edward kept his back to James as he spoke to me. "Then you can stay here and witness this. And I won't blame you if you don't want to be my friend after this."

With that he turned back towards James with a growl and once again took hold of his neck as he slammed him against the wall.

Things went downhill after that. James tried to fight Edward back but was somehow no match for Edward's brutal strength in his fury. I kept pleading with Edward from the hallway to let James go but it was like he couldn't even hear me anymore. Blood gushed out of James's nose and mouth after Edward's fist connected with those. Finally, Jame's cries of agony attracted other peoples' attention and a crowd started to form outside the bathroom.

I couldn't take it anymore. So many things were wrong with this situation and I had completely lost power over everything that was happening. I squeezed my way through the crowd that was cheering for Edward or asking James to get up and grow a ball, to get out of the corridor and saw Tanya walking towards the direction of the bathroom. She glared at me as we passed each other, as if she knew already that it was all my fault.

I went to the living room, where the number of people had now lessened because they'd flocked towards the fight in the bathroom. My legs were shaking so I found the first chair in view and sat down on it. I let the tears flow as the music blasted around me and I heard muffled sounds of James being pounded onto the walls and Tanya shrieking at Edward to stop.

It was all too much. The disgust of feeling James' hands on me. The feeling of being helpless as James overpowered me. Then the fear of Edward causing James harm in a way that would ultimately hurt Edward. Either through Alex being angry with him or the police being involved. And now Edward mercilessly beating James while he transformed to some other person in his rage.

And all I could do was sit there and wait for him. Wait for Edward to finish taking out his rage on the man that had tried to violate me. While I heard the muffled sounds of police sirens outside, nearing the building out on the street.

After what seemed like forever as I sat alone in that room, I heard Tanya's shrieks increasing in volume and realized she was on her way back to the party area. I turned my head towards the corridor and saw Edward emerge first with Tanya shrieking at him right behind. He didn't seem to be hearing a word she was saying as his eyes searched the room until they fell on me. He immediately walked across the room to where I was sitting and held out his hand, asking me to follow him out.

"Let's go, Isabella." I looked at his hand and saw that the skin on his knuckles were split and bleeding profusely. The rest of him looked totally unscratched, but I was sure the same couldn't be said for James.

Tanya came to stand right behind Edward and gave me a sneer before turning back to Edward.

"You have some nerves, Edward! What's the matter? This time around James can't have what you are having?" She said in a cold voice as she looked at me meaningfully. Edward broke his gaze with me and turned to glare at her, but she was completely unaffected by it.

"Oh don't give me that look Edward. And don't give me that crap about her only being a friend. I've seen how you look at her. She is sucking you off at a regular basis. She must have some mad skills for you to not want to share her."

Edward turned around and faced Tanya, standing his full height over her. "You say one more word and I will forget that you are a woman. Then there will be nothing stopping me from sending you down like I did him."

She just sneered back at him. "Oh please. What? You aren't fucking her? You just almost killed my brother for wanting to have a good time with her and you're _still_ going with that story?"

Every single person in the party gave us curious looks. Like what had happened until now, James forcing me or Edward beating him up, those were just everyday things. _This _was more interesting to them.

Edward and I both noticed this.

"She. Is. My. Friend. And you _will_ _not_ insult her anymore tonight, Tanya." He said through clenched teeth.

Tanya laughed out loud and some of the other people in the party threw in some chuckles. I could feel my face and every single inch of my body burning with humiliation. Tanya now leaned around Edward and gave me a sugary look.

"Oh, I see. So Edward Cullen isn't actually fucking you? Then what are you doing looking at him like that?"

"Don't fucking talk to her." Edward immediately moved to stand between me and Tanya.

I however wasn't having any of that. My tears had stopped and I couldn't believe her words. She obviously had a few things on her mind, as did a number of people in this party, and I wanted to know what it was. I stepped around Edward and faced Tanya.

"Looking at him like what?" I asked.

Edward turned around to me and looked at me like he couldn't believe I had just asked her that. Tanya plastered a victorious smile over her face.

"Like you know what he's worth. And you are trying to get into his pants and work your way up the social ladder. I'm expected to believe it's a coincidence that he stopped fucking me right around the time the two of you started to "become friends"?" She said with a smirk.

Edward literally roared and turned back towards her. They started screaming things to each other but none of it entered my ears any more. I was frozen. I only looked at the back of Edward's head and tried to make myself move or something.

I finally looked around the faces of the other people in this party and for the first time in months realized that this is what this entire group of people thought of me as. A gold digging lowlife who was screwing Edward for his money.

At that moment the elevator doors opened and a group of police officers stepped into the apartment. Tanya animatedly pointed at Edward and the officers started walking towards him.

"Oh, fuck!" Edward puffed and then quickly turned to me before the officers reached him. He took out his cell phone and dialed a number on speed dial and then handed it to me along with his car keys. Then he squeezed my hand and urged me to look at him.

"Listen to me. Don't freak out. Talk to Dad and tell him to come down to the station. He'll take care of everything. Isabella, are you listening to me?"

If I would be honest, I really wasn't listening to him at that moment. Tanya's words and the judgmental eyes of everyone around us were still reverberating through my mind. And more than anything else I felt my guts clenching in anxiety and fear as I thought of the police taking Edward away.

I managed to nod slightly at Edward.

"Isabella, I mean it. I need you to take the car and go home this fucking instant. I dialed Dad's number, just talk to him."

"Mr. Cullen, let's go." The officers were now behind him and dragging him by his arms.

"Isabella, talk to Dad. And go home right this instant. Fuck, just calm the fuck down." He yelled the last part at the officers. "Let me just make sure she gets home safe."

They weren't listening to him though and I stood there with Edward's phone in one hand and his keys in the other. I could hear Carlisle's panicked voice coming from the phone. But I couldn't break my gaze with Edward. He didn't seem to notice that he was being dragged away. His eyes were fixed at me with worry and concern. I knew that the Cullens were powerful. And I knew that Carlisle would make sure Edward was ok. But at that moment, the man that I loved was being restrained and put into the elevator and being taken away. I didn't care that James had attacked me earlier, I didn't care that he was lying in his own pool of blood in the bathroom, I didn't care about the accusations Tanya had made at me and I didn't care that everyone was staring at us. The only thing I wanted in the world at that moment was to somehow make Edward safe. I wanted to take him into my arms and take him home with me and hide him from the entire fucking world because it somehow always found ways to screw him over. And I hated the fact that I was no better than the rest.

**A/N: Ok girlies…hang on tight…the roads are going to get a little rough now…but it's all leading up to something wonderful. Hopefully.**

**I wanted to thank all my regular reviewers for showing so much enthusiasm for this. Your feedback means the world. **

**Thank you to Jamie for beta-ing this baby. She and I are very very very excited for the next couple of chapters. Things are about to get…um…I don't know how to explain it. You'll see :D :D**

**By the way, I wrote a O/S and am putting it up today. It's a…wait for it…**_**love**__**story**_** between Edward and Bella. Shocking, I know. I'm all about the creativity. Well, as "nice" as the slow burn in this story has been, a girl just needs some instant gratification sometimes you know. So, that takes me about 10 000 words to lead up to it, but ya know…I got there :D Anyways, it's a Grad student Edward and a 15 year old Bella meeting in Europe for the first time and then their story spans a few years in time. **

**Peace out!**


	22. The storm Part II

"_**Like two doomed ships that pass in storm we had crossed each other's way: but we made no sign, we said no word, we had no word to say."**_

_~ Oscar Wilde_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

As soon as the elevator doors closed I sprang into action. My soul focus was making Edward safe.

"_Edward? Are you there?" _I heard Carlisle's voice calling out from Edward's phone and quickly put it to my ear.

"Carlisle, it's Isabella. Edward got into a fight and the police are taking him away. What do I do?" I tried to keep my voice calm but it was shaking with panic.

"Isabella! Oh my god." He let out a short breath. "Ok, darling. Listen, relax. This has happened many times before so you don't need to panic. I will call our lawyers immediately and meet them at the station. Do you have the keys to Edward's car?"

"Yes." That was all I could get out.

"Good. Take it and go home right away. I will handle everything."

Was he crazy? "I can't go home Carlisle. They took him away." My voice completely broke now.

He was quiet for a second. "Darling, listen to me. This is not a big deal. I have been called to the station to get Edward out my fair share of times. He will be fine."

I had started moving towards the elevator and almost reached the doors by now, completely ignoring everyone else around me.

"No, Carlisle. You don't understand. He probably caused a lot of damage to the guy he got in the fight with."

"He has done a lot of that in the past too. Please Isabella, just go home. Let me handle this."

"No I can't go home. I won't go home without him, Carlisle. I'm following them to the station. I'll see you there." My voice was determined and I hoped he understood that I wasn't going to budge.

He did. "Ok. I'll be there as soon as possible."

When I arrived at the station and asked to see Edward they told me he was being interrogated and no one was allowed to see him. I didn't have any experience of being at a police station so I didn't really know what else to do. I decided it was best to wait for Carlisle and found a bench to sit down on.

Carlisle came in about half an hour later, followed by a group of men all in dark suits. Everyone at the station immediately noticed the impressive group of men who were obviously powerful. As soon as Carlisle saw me he said something to the man on his right side and the rest of the men proceeded to talk to an officer in charge, handing him papers and asking him questions, while Carlisle came over to me. I sprang from the bench and went to him.

His eyebrows furrowed as he took in my appearance. I realized suddenly that my run in with James must have left me quite tousled and ran a hand over my hair to get it somewhat under control. I didn't want to talk about this with Carlisle right then. We had bigger things at hand.

"Are you alright Isabella?" He asked me as soon as he was within hearing distance and I tried to keep from sobbing uncontrollably at the love and worry in his voice.

"I'm fine, Carlisle. Please go help him. I don't want him to be here." My eyes watered over as I thought about Edward being held in an interrogation room.

"I have this town's best group of lawyers working at this. Don't worry." He gave me one more concerned look before turning back and going over to the group of men and starting to talk to the officers himself.

I sat there for another half an hour after one of the officers escorted Carlisle and the group of men inside one of the rooms. My eyes looked towards every single door that opened to see if I could find Edward, but there were no traces of him.

Then suddenly one of the doors flung open and Carlisle rushed out of it and headed straight towards me. He half ran towards me and I stood up from my seat in panic, fear clutching my chest at his livid expression.

I opened my mouth to say something but before I had the chance he had engulfed me in his arms and his body was almost shaking. Then he abruptly pulled back and looked me up and down with wide eyes.

"Are you alright? I just heard about what happened before Edward got his hands on that insolent excuse for a man." He asked in a voice that resembled Edward's from before in its concern and agitation. I tried to speak up but he wouldn't let me.

"Isabella, you silly silly girl! Why didn't you tell me he attacked you? I can't believe you have been worried sick about Edward all this time when you must be shaken up to bits yourself!"

I pulled back from him and put a hand on his arm. "Carlisle, I'm fine, really. Edward came before he got too far. Please tell me Edward's ok."

Carlisle shook his head in wonder and then pulled me to his chest again. "He is fine, darling. _Stop_ worrying about him. The doctors said James had a few broken bones and a concussion. And there were witnesses at the spot who confirmed that apparently Tanya had a confrontation with the two of you where she even admitted that James was trying to force himself on you. The police will take a statement from you and we can get Edward out on bail tonight. He'll have to go to court at some point if the Denalis decide to press charges, but I will have a talk with Alex and make sure he is aware of his son's insolent behavior."

"Why would they press charges? He was only protecting me. Isn't it like self-defense or something?"

"It would have been that if Edward had stopped once you were safe. He didn't need to be that violent."

I went quiet after this and hoped to god that Carlisle had things under control, as he was saying he had. He held me as he spoke and rubbed his hands in circles on my back and I felt my heart fill up with the love he was showering at me.

"I'm so sorry Carlisle." I finally spoke and he pulled back from me this time.

"What are _you_ sorry for?" He asked incredulously.

"Edward put up with Tanya for so long, the Denalis must have meant so much to you. And now he blew it all away because of me."

Carlisle shook his head and wiped my tears. "Darling, you are more than worth every penny I might lose at business with Alex or every trouble Edward might get into for teaching that boy a lesson. For once I won't blame Edward for his actions. I would have done the same thing at his place."

I winced and he noticed then chuckled as he wiped the rest of the tears from my face.

"Ok maybe not the _same_ thing. I might have left a few more bones unbroken."

After I talked to the police and gave them a statement about what had happened before Edward showed up, we waited for a few more minutes and then they finally released Edward. When I saw him walking out from behind one of the doors, all the anxiety and fear left my body immediately and I relaxed. His white shirt was soaked in James' blood, his knuckles bruised. His hair was in a mess and his face was set in hard lines. His eyes first fell on Carlisle and he just looked at him indifferently as he strode towards him. Then suddenly his eyes fell on me and he stopped abruptly. His eyes widened at seeing me there and his entire face changed. The hard lines disappeared and the pain in his face increased by leaps as he took in my appearance. His shoulders slouched as he walked towards where Carlisle and I were standing.

When he came to stand right in front of me, both of us kept looking at each other but none of us said anything. Carlisle finally broke the silence.

"It's been a long night, Edward. Take Isabella home. I'm going to go to the office and recoup with the lawyers and have a chat with Alex as soon as possible."

"Where's Sophie?" I asked suddenly, not having had thought of her in all this mess. I hadn't really thought of much other than Edward through all this mess, to be honest.

"I dropped her at Jasper and Alice's before coming here. The two of you had a hard time tonight and I expected that the atmosphere at home will be a bit tense. She picks up on these things too easily. I insisted Jasper and Alice keep her company instead of coming down here."

I nodded in acquiesce and Carlisle leaned down to kiss my head before leaving. Then he gave Edward a hug, which startled him, but I could see that it relaxed him slightly.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

After Carlisle left, I walked out and found Edward's car and waited beside it. Edward came out after me and pulled open the passenger side door for me. We sat in silence the entire ride as he drove. I wanted to tell him to drop me at my place but just couldn't talk to him at that moment. When he pulled up in front of the house I quietly got out and went inside. I could feel the sting in my ankle from when it was twisted earlier but I ignored it. I tried not to limp and just walk through the pain. The entire time I went up the stairs I felt Edward's eyes at the back of my neck but I was still in a frozen state.

It was the middle of the night and the corridors upstairs were dark. I didn't bother turning on any lights as I kept walking down it in my zombie-like state. When I reached my room I went inside and without even looking back at Edward closed the door. I looked at the bed for a second then just crossed the room to it and sat on its edge. The room was dark and I couldn't see anything, my eyes hadn't adjusted to the light yet. But I just sat there.

Now that I knew Edward was safe, all the fight had left my body. The enormity of the events of the evening caught up with me and I just sat there feeling numb with all the feelings that were overwhelming me.

I heard a knock at my door a few minutes later but I didn't say anything or move or even blink. I just sat there.

The door opened a few moments later and I could make out Edward's silhouette in the dim lights that were coming in from the corridor as he stood there motionless looking at me. I noticed he was still wearing the shirt soaked in James' blood and he had blood on his knuckles. He was holding some sort of a packet in his hand.

I finally looked him in the eyes and said the only thing I could say.

"You scared me today."

His eyes dropped to the floor and his jaws clenched. "I told you to leave."

"I wouldn't leave you there on your own Edward. You know that."

His eyes suddenly flashed up to me. "I am not going to apologize for what I did to that son of a bitch."

I looked away from him and sighed. Tonight I had finally gotten to meet who Edward was before we became friends.

"He is going to live by the way. In case you were wondering." I told him in a tired voice, without looking at him.

"Too bad." His voice was calm and there was no regret in it. I refused to look at him and just kept looking out the window. He had changed in the past four months. Like Carlisle said, he was happier and calmer. But tonight, he had gone back to his previous self because of what happened to me. And this was probably only the least of troubles that I could cause him.

"Are you alright?" He asked in a small voice, still standing in the doorway, not entering my room. It sounded almost as if he was ashamed to even ask me that. I could still hear his regret of letting this happen in the first place clear in his voice.

I blinked at the window once and then I turned to look at him straight in the eye.

"I'm fine. About what Tanya said earlier…" I started to talk about the thing that was bothering me beyond words now that Edward was safe, but he cut me off.

"Please Isabella…don't even. She is irrelevant. As is anything she says."

I still had to say it. "I'm not trying to get into your pants, Edward. And I'm not friends with you for your money."

He didn't say a word or break eye contact with me. He left the door open behind him and walked across the room straight to the bed where I was sitting. I turned my eyes away from him as soon as he started moving towards me and looked to the window instead. If he had any doubts, if even a little bit of him thought I was in some sort of a gold-digging mission to seduce him, like everyone at that party seemed to think, I didn't want to see it in his eyes. I know that things much larger than this had happened earlier that night, but this was what was bothering me the most at that moment.

I was startled when I felt his hand on the heel of my foot. I turned my head to see that he was sitting with his legs crossed on the floor right in front of me. He picked up my foot and placed it on his knee. Then he wrapped one hand around my heel and placed the ice pack he had carried around my ankle. He used his other hand to press it down on the ankle. He didn't look at me after that. Just sat there with his head bent down looking at my ankle. I felt the tears rushing out of my eyes and there was no stopping them. After a while I just flopped myself back on the bed, my ankle still resting on Edward's knee and let the tears fall from the sides of my eyes into the bed until I drifted off to sleep.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I woke up in the morning with a start, and realized I was still lying in the same position as last night, but Edward was gone. I quickly sat up on the bed and looked down at myself. I was still wearing the dress from last night and I'm sure my make up was smudged all over my face and my hair was a mess.

I remembered Edward's bruised knuckles from last night and felt guilty. In the middle of feeling sorry for myself I had totally ignored him and his cuts and I knew how much he hated them. I thought about how he sat and took care of my sprained ankle even though things were far from alright between us, and that made me feel horrible. I quickly jumped off the bed and snatched a first aid kit from the drawer as I made my way to his room. I winced a little as I felt slight pain in my ankle but Edward had pressed ice to it for so long that there was barely any swelling.

It was quite late so I figured Edward would be downstairs and ran down the stairs to the kitchen. Only Carlisle was sitting by the counter, drinking coffee and he looked at me in alarm as I came rushing into the kitchen with a first aid box in hand and looking like a disaster from last night. I asked him where Edward was and he said he was probably still in his room. I rushed back up the stairs and went straight into Edward's room, calling out to him right before I entered.

His bed was still made and there was no trace of him in the room. I looked in the bathroom and closets and he wasn't there either. I kept calling out to him and noticed that the door to his dark room was slightly ajar. I slowly pushed on it to open it a bit more.

The room was dark inside with only a faint red light illuminating a corner of it and I stepped inside and called out to Edward. I knew that he was upset and probably wouldn't have answered me even if he was there. I went in anyways and kept calling out to him. He never left the door to this room ajar and I was pretty certain he was in here.

I kept bumping into things since I could barely see anything and reached out with my hands to keep from falling over as I kept asking him to speak up if he was in there. Then my hand brushed against a light switch on the wall and the whole room was illuminated in bright white light. My eyes were instantly overwhelmed with all the light and I quickly turned the light off as I squinted.

But then I froze as the slight glimpse of the room I had caught in that minisecond flashed in my mind. I reached out and turned the light on again.

The first aid kit fell with a clang from my hand and I stared at the wall in front of me. Then I stared at the one on my right, then on my left. I made a full circle of the room with my eyes and felt like my head was going to explode.

I stood in a room that was humongous in size, just like all other rooms in the Cullen mansion. There was very little furniture in the room, a chair and a table in one corner by the window and a large work table in the middle of the room. It was messy with different trays and paper and film rolls spread out all over. Running from one wall to another were white strings to which there were pictures hung with clips to develop. The floors and the walls and all the furniture in the room were white.

Pictures were scattered all over the room. On the work table, on the floors. There were pictures of everything. The world as Edward saw it. Busy streets, buildings, cars, people, waterfronts, clouds, trees, individual leaves. Obscure things.

But my eyes didn't register any of that in that moment. The only thing I could stare at was the walls of the room. I stood frozen in my spot, my hands shaking on my sides. My head turned again and again to take in the entire perimeter of the room as the images pasted on the walls filtered through my eyes and registered in my brain, which screamed in protest because this couldn't be real.

Me. I was there. On the walls of Edward's dark room. On every single wall of the room, on every single inch of the walls, from the ceiling to the floor. There were hundreds – thousands probably – of pictures of me. All in black in white. In different sizes that were all made to fit together to make up the walls of the room.

There were pictures from every angle, every posture. Every emotion. I was laughing, I was smiling, I had a bright look in my eyes, my lips pursed, my brows in a frown, with a finger on a chin, looking distant, looking wistful, looking up, looking down, looking to my side.

I wasn't looking at the camera in most of them. So I didn't know when he was taking them. I had repeatedly accused him of carrying his camera wherever we went. Now I know what he was capturing in his pictures. _Me_.

I heard a sound behind me and turned around with a start. Edward stood there with a stricken expression on his face. He looked like he had just seen a ghost. He had changed into a t-shirt and flannel pants but it was obvious that he hadn't slept a wink all night.

He looked at me for a long time and I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. Finally the look of horror slowly drained out of his face as he realized that there was nothing he could do to undo the situation. He sighed and looked defeated as his shoulders slumped and he entered the room. He went up to the work table without uttering a word to me. He bent down and started picking up pictures and arranging things.

"There's a reason the lights were turned off you know. You destroyed all my exposed film." He muttered without looking at me.

"I'm sorry." I said in a robotic voice that was empty of any emotions. He kept avoiding my gaze and went around putting piles of pictures together, but I saw the slight tremor in his hands. Finally he looked at me and gave me a resigned look as he slumped down on his chair.

"You ok?" He asked in a tight voice. I barely nodded. He waited for a long time then let out a loud puff of air.

"Are you going to say something or are we still going to just keep beating around the fucking bush?" His voice was now irritated and impatient.

I looked at the walls and then back at him. "What does this mean?" I asked in a voice that was almost a whisper. I knew what he was going to say. I didn't want to know his answer, but it was the only thing in the world that mattered to me at that moment. I was a walking contradiction.

He looked at me sharply and frowned in annoyance. "It means exactly what it looks like."

"Which is what?" I asked in a whisper again. I was nothing if not a masochist.

"It means that I am in lo-"

"NO!" I yelled suddenly before the word slipped out of his lips. Something finally snapped inside of me. The way my life had changed dramatically since I had met this family, becoming friends with Edward, getting closer to him, developing feelings for him even though I had no intention of doing so, then battling with myself every step of the way as he tried to push my boundaries and I tried to hold on to my sanity, then last night and all its events, and now _this_. I knew what he was about to say and I didn't want to hear it. He didn't know what he was saying. He didn't even know the person he was going to say those words to. I looked around the room one more time and the enormity of the situation finally hit me full on. _No, no, no_. He couldn't be this deep in. _What had I done!_

I looked at Edward one more time before sprinting out of the room and running down the stairs. I heard him call my name from behind but I couldn't stop. I stopped in the hallway and put on a pair of my sneakers as I heard Edward calling out my name in panic while he descended the stairs. Carlisle came running out of the kitchen in alarm and looked between me and Edward frantically.

"What's wrong?" He asked in a panicked voice but I didn't have it in me to answer him. I flung open the front door and ran down the steps. I crossed the front yard and made my way towards the forest. Then I started running as I heard Edward's voice nearing behind me.

I ran through the path that Edward and I had taken so many times before. I didn't know where I was running to but I just knew that I had to get away from it all.

I kept running through the forest, with the wind whipping in my hair and the sun sending slanted rays through the canopy of the trees. I ran because it was the only thing I could do.

Finally I reached the end of the road that we had taken so many times and ended up in front of the cottage in the Cullen lands. Edward and I had been there numerous times and hung out in the front yard. It was a wooden cottage, with beams of wood running on the front porch and a few steps in the front where Edward and I had sat many times. The cottage was surrounded by the forest on all three sides except for the front yard, which was a round clearing in the middle of the forest. I crossed the clearing and sat on the familiar wooden steps, hugging myself and hiding my head in my knees. I knew it was only a matter of time until Edward would also come here but I had lost every ability to deal with anything right then.

After a few minutes I heard his footsteps at the edge of the clearing but I wouldn't look up. I clenched my eyes shut and wished with everything in me that he would walk away.

But he didn't move. And neither did I. We stayed like that, me sitting on the steps with my head hidden in my knees, him standing on the edge of the clearing by the trees, looking at me.

And finally, after many silent and excruciating minutes, I heard the leaves crunching under his shoes. As the sounds of his footsteps got closer so did the force of my heart thumping. By the time he was close enough so I could smell his cologne my heart had gone out of control.

And then, everything stopped. The sound of my own pulse in my ears, the rustle of the leaves in the wind, the sound of the waves crashing behind the cottage.

Because Edward put his hands on me. And not a single sensation that I had ever experienced in life until then compared to it.

It shouldn't have been that big of a deal. He had of course touched me hundreds of times before. But at that moment, the feeling of his palm and his fingers wrapped around my calf as he sat hunched on the ground below the step on which I was sitting, I couldn't describe it. With that one touch, he was telling me everything he felt, he was asking me something, he was urging me on, he was waiting for me.

I clenched my eyes shut even more than before because I didn't know what to do with myself anymore.

"Look at me." His voice. Oh my god, his voice. It was so different. It was gentle and firm at the same time. Like you speak to someone who knows your soul, like someone you have known for years and to whom you are tethered to. I gritted my teeth together and clenched my fists.

"Please, look at me." He said again and his voice was softer now. I couldn't move. _Oh god!_

"Tell me why you are breaking down." He said in almost a whisper. And there was so much sadness in his voice. Like he was being rejected and he was too afraid to hear why. But he was still asking. _Oh god, he thought I didn't want him._

"It's not that." That's all I could get out.

"Then what is it?" He whispered again.

Suddenly I jumped up and got off the stairs without making eye contact with him. "I have to go." And I started running towards the way I had come from.

But he grabbed my arm from behind and yanked me towards him, forcing me to turn to face him.

"Tell me what's wrong." He said in a commanding voice that sounded more like himself.

"Nothing's wrong. I just have to go." I squirmed to get free but he was holding my arm firmly and it wouldn't budge at all. I refused to look at him so I just kept looking to my side, away at the forest and waited for him to let me go.

I felt his eyes on the side of my face for a few moments before he spoke. "If you don't want this you have to say the words out loud."

My heart came back to life now and started thrashing around in my chest at the possibility of what he was saying and what it would mean.

"I will not bother you afterwards. And it will not change your relationship with my family. But you have to actually tell me." _But it would change my relationship with him. _My heart thrashed harder in my chest as all its worst fears, the ones that lurked around in the shadows, but that it had just pushed away in the light of the happiness we had shared until now, were starting to come true.

"Edward, please just let me go." I heard my voice break as I tried to hold back tears that were starting to rise. Everything I had been scared of was starting to come true.

"No. If you are going to walk away from me you are going to do it in my face." He said in a voice with so much anger and emotion.

I laughed dryly and looked at him as the tears now ran freely down my face. "I can't ever walk away from you. I wish I'd had it in me to walk away from you, Edward. Life would have been much easier for all of us."

He looked at me with confusion for a few seconds as he seemed to be thinking about what I had said. Then suddenly a determined look took over his face.

"Fuck easy."

His hand that was holding my arm went to the back of my neck and he pressed his lips to mine. I felt his hand grasp the back of my dress and fist it. I stood still and felt his lips move on mine while my tears kept falling down my cheeks.

I stood frozen for a few more seconds while Edward's lips tried to insist mine to move. Then I heard him growl in frustration and something snapped inside of me for the second time that day.

I grabbed the front of his t-shirt and pulled him towards me as I kissed him back with twice the force he was using.

It wasn't gentle and it wasn't sweet. It was all of his frustrations for my unwillingness to give into this. It was all of my frustrations at how unfair my life was. It was teeth clashing, lips fighting. We were both rough and the kiss was desperate. A last try at holding on to something that was evasive.

Gradually, Edward's hands unclenched from the back of my dress and he ran his palm up and down my back in a soothing motion as he slowed down the pace of the kiss. Instead of forcefully pressing his lips to mine he puckered them slightly and nipped mine. I insisted on keeping up the previous pace of the kiss but then he brought his hands up to my face and tried to sooth me by bringing them up and down my cheeks.

And that's when I snapped out of it. It was the gentleness of his touch that did it. I suddenly pulled back and looked at him in horror. His face first looked confused then chagrined as he took in the look on my face.

"I shouldn't have done that." I whispered and then turned around and ran with all my strength back into the forest. I kept running until I reached the house.

Once inside the house I ignored Carlisle in the foyer and ran straight up to my room. I called a cab with my cell phone and quickly changed into jeans and a t-shirt. I had to get away from him before I caused more damage. I packed up all my stuff I had in that room and ignored Edward's frantic knocks on the door. I had let things get far enough and I was putting an end to all this now.

When I opened the door after I was ready to leave, I saw Edward pacing in the hallway, pulling his hair with both his hands. His eyes widened and fear spread across his face when he saw the bag in my hand.

"No!" He yelled but his voice was not angry. It was panicked.

I didn't have it in me to deal with him. I quickly walked past him to the staircase and started descending it and he followed me.

"Please don't leave Isabella. Just pretend like this day never happened. I will burn all the pictures. Please just don't leave." His words were rushed and panicked and I felt my insides breaking at the desperation in his tone.

I kept walking.

"Don't stay for me. Stay for Sophie, for Dad, for Alice and Jasper. Isabella, you can't leave." His voice broke as he panted and tried to keep up with me.

Even in the midst of all the chaos my mind registered the fact that at other times he would just have grabbed me and growled out in frustration and forced me to do what he wanted. But he wasn't telling me what to do anymore. He was asking.

I finally reached the downstairs foyer and saw Carlisle stand helplessly at the kitchen doorway, watching the scene in front of him with the sadness of a hundred years' worth in his eyes. I walked straight to the front door and opened it to step out.

"Isabella, I'm _begging_ you. Please, please don't leave me." Edward's voice broke in a sob.

I froze mid-step and my fist clenched around the doorknob. I slowly turned around to see Edward slumped down on the stair a few steps from the bottom with a dejected look in his face, as he held on to the railing limply. His entire body was limp and he was looking at the ground in surrender. He had given up.

At that moment, he was not the Edward Cullen I had met a few months ago, and he was not Edward, my friend. He was his fifteen year old self. And he had once again been defeated.

I knew this scene. I knew this posture of his. I knew it in vivid details. She had told me of this a thousand times, because the horror of this moment was something she never forgave herself for. This was exactly how he had begged her when she was leaving.

I took a deep breath and dropped my bag on the floor with a loud thud. My legs wobbled slightly so I held on to the side table for support.

_No_.

I chose. _I will not let this happen to him again. He will not have someone walk out on him again. This time he will have a choice in the matter._

I clenched my eyes shut for a second and said a silent apology to her in my mind before opening them and looking at him. I spoke the only truth that made sense to me anymore.

"I love you, Edward."

His brows furrowed a little at first, but as the words registered, his eyes widened and he looked at me in utter shock.

"Don't look at me like that. I love you_. Of course_, I love you. How could I not? How can _anyone_ that knows you _not_ love you, Edward?" My voice broke with my emotions as I spoke.

He still kept looking at me with shocked eyes and didn't seem to be able to speak.

"I tried. Believe me, I tried not to love you. To keep you out of my heart and only be your friend. And never in a million years did I think that you can feel anything other than friendship for me."

I paused again to get my voice in control as it kept breaking with sobs and he started to get up from the stairs to make his way towards me. But this is what it all came down to. I hadn't allowed it until now and I wouldn't allow it right then either. I would make sure he had all the facts before he chose this. Before he chose me.

"But having said all that, I want you to know that I don't regret my decisions. I wouldn't have done anything differently if I could go back."

Once again he gave me a confused look and waited for me to explain. I took a deep breath and looked once at Carlisle then back at Edward. I made sure I held his gaze steadily. I was no longer afraid. I was going to be set free.

"I knew you mother, Edward. I knew Lizzie."

He didn't move, he didn't speak. He didn't so much as blink. His face went pale.

"She was my best friend, my mentor. She taught me to play the piano. She taught me the pieces that you listen to every time I play. She is the reason I became a doctor."

**A/N: *Hides behind couch and peeks out with wide innocent eyes***


	23. And the sun turned black

"_**I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."  
**__~ Mother Teresa_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"You knew _her_." Edward kept gazing down at the floor with a frown in his brows, like this was something his mind could not really comprehend. He looked up at me with a completely lost look. "How…" he trailed off.

"She came to Jacksonville after she left LA. I met her when I was in high school." I kept my voice calm and spoke slowly.

Edward kept his eyes on me for a few seconds, trying to make sense of my words. He opened his mouth a few times but then closed it again. Then finally he spoke.

"You knew _her_…but, you love me." He said the last part like a question. Like those two statements couldn't possibly go hand in hand.

I took a deep breath and kept looking at him. What else could I do?

Edward looked at Carlisle once, who just kept his anxious gaze fixed on me. I could only imagine the storm that must be brewing inside him.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Carlisle spoke. His voice was soft but genuinely curious. "Why didn't you tell us before, Isabella?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. If they weren't mad at me yet, they were going to be now. "Because she told me not to. I promised her I wouldn't tell you anything."

And just like that it all came crashing down. We finally reached the moment I had feared for the past months, ever since I had come into contact with Edward. His entire being shifted. He immediately transformed from the boy who was professing his love to a girl a few minutes ago, to the wounded lion I had met in the hospital in Seattle four months ago. He raised himself from the steps and stood tall, one hand gripping the railing of the staircase, the other clenching and unclenching. His jaw tightened, as did his eyes. Every single trace of vulnerability vanished from his being within seconds.

"What the _fuck_ is that supposed to mean? _She_ told you not to?" His voice was cold and full of warning. He said the word "she" like it was poisonous.

Then his face suddenly transformed as something seemed to dawn on him and his eyes widened in disbelief.

"Did she send you to us? Is that what you were doing here? Trying to fix her motherfucking family that she fucked up?"

I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off again. "What? The bitch sent you to do her dirty work and tidy up after her or some shit?"

My head snapped up to meet his gaze and I looked at him with fury and disbelief. I felt my ears flaming with rage and I stood up straight and squared my shoulders as I gave him a furious look.

"Don't speak of her in that way." My voice was a menacing growl that even I didn't recognize. Edward blinked in surprise but then recovered immediately.

"Don't fucking…" He started but I cut him off this time as I took a step towards him.

"I know you have been hurt and you can be angry with me all you like. But don't talk of her in that way. You have no idea what she has been through and before you do and say something you will forever regret, I suggest you reserve that colorful language of yours for things that deserve it."

His nostrils flared and his eyes went dark with rage. "Are you fucking kidding me? You are defending _her_? She did send you here, didn't she?"

I scoffed. "Are _you_ kidding me? Edward, _you_ came to _my_ hospital. That's how I met you, remember?"

He looked away from me for a second as he thought about this. I took another step towards him as I spoke in a more calm voice.

"I know what happened back then and I know what you went through. And I know what it looked like from where you were standing. But she wasn't a bad person. She had her reasons for acting the way she did. I am sorry for not sharing her secret with you earlier and I will apologize for hurting you. I will explain everything to you and answer all your questions. But I will not hear another bad word about her, Edward. I mean it."

As Edward opened his mouth to speak again, Carlisle's soft and dejected voice beat him to it.

"She passed away, didn't she?"

Both Edward and I whipped our heads towards him and he was holding on to the kitchen doorway to support himself. He looked like a man who waited to be told the worst news of his life.

My face crunched in pain as I took in the look of despair on Carlisle's face and he knew. He visibly crumpled in front of us and then turned around and left the foyer immediately.

I was still standing close to the front door and turned to look back at Edward. He was still standing on the steps and was now looking out the window into the sunset outside.

"Edward…Let me explain-" I started but stopped mid-sentence once I saw the look on his face when his head snapped towards me. He looked broken and stabbed and wounded and feral. His eyes were of someone who I did not recognize.

"How are you any different from her?" His voice was also one that I didn't recognize.

I wasn't stupid. I knew that had it been any other person who had revealed something of this magnitude to him, they would not have been standing inside this house right now. I had still gotten to speak a few sentences after I revealed the truth about his mother to him. And he had been lenient with me until now because of whatever else he felt for me inside. His heart was still trying to come to terms with erasing me from it. And now, the look on his face said that he had finished that task.

"You are the same fucking person. Both of you betray people under the disguise of love."

I should have felt devastated at his words. I should have felt earth shattering pain because of the situation. But I didn't feel anything. I was numb. It was like someone had literally taken my worst nightmare out of my head and was playing it out for me. This exact situation was what I had feared for months. And this exact situation was a reality right now. _How do you deal with something like this?_

I looked down at the floor. What could I possibly say at that moment?

"That's it? You have nothing more to say?" He asked in a sharp voice.

"What can I say, Edward? She was my best…"

"DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME ABOUT HER!" He yelled and growled at the same time and the echoes of his voice reverberated throughout the foyer. My heart pounded in my chest and adrenaline coursed through my voice with sheer fear at the sound of his voice.

He took four long steps and was standing right in front of me. He once again grabbed a hold of my arm and made me look at him.

"Tell me." He commanded.

"I'm trying to tell you, Edward. I am trying to tell you why I didn't say anything earlier."

"No! Don't tell me that! Tell me that this is all motherfucking bullshit. Tell me I didn't make the biggest mistake of my life when I decided to trust you. That every fucking moment of happiness you gave me and this goddamn family wasn't a lie. Tell me that you aren't ripping my goddamn heart out of my chest right now, Isabella."

The numbness disappeared at his words and his proximity. Tears sprang forth and flowed in plentiful down my cheeks as I stared at him.

He suddenly let me go like he had been shocked.

"Why'd you do this? Why the fuck did you do this Isabella?"

I tried to speak between my sobs. "She told me not to, Edward. I didn't know what to do. I owe her so much…"

He kept speaking like he hadn't heard me at all. He was now pacing across the foyer with both his hands fisting his hair.

"Why'd you do this?" He kept repeating this again and again to himself as he looked everywhere but me and paced back and forth. Then suddenly he turned towards me and grabbed me by the arms again and his eyes were alight with fire.

"Why did you do all that? Why did you become my friend? Why did you come here and make all the shit better? Why did you make everyone believe you love them? Damn it, Isabella. TALK!"

"I just wanted to see all of you once and then I was going to leave. But then I fell in love with all of you…And Sophie…I couldn't just leave."

He released me again and he looked at me like he didn't even know me anymore. "All this time…you lied."

"I didn't…" I couldn't finish that sentence. He was right. I did keep the truth to myself.

He turned around with his back to me and kept shaking his head from side to side. "I should've known. I should've known better. It's all bullshit. There's no such thing. Of course she was a liar too. They all fucking are."

"Edward…" I said through a sob. I couldn't see him like this. I couldn't stand to be the reason he was like this. I reached out to him and lightly touched his shoulder but he recoiled from my touch like I had just burned him.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" He growled as he turned around and looked at me.

"I have done a lot of motherfucking shit in my life. But the decision to let you into my family and my heart was the biggest mistake I have ever made." He kept his gaze fixed on me to make sure his message got across. It did. Loud and clear.

It was like he was challenging me. One last time. Trying to provoke me enough so I would try to refute his claim. I couldn't.

His hard exterior fell away and his face crumpled in intense pain. I saw tears starting to form in his eyes but he frowned deep as he took a step away from me.

"I don't need any of you motherfuckers. Stay the hell away from me."

And with that he abruptly turned around and ran up the stairs and disappeared from sight.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"_Isn't he pretty?" She asked me the same question she always did when we reached this part of the photo album. I smiled down at the picture and then at her indulgently as I tucked away a strand of her copper hair behind her ear._

"_Yes he is. He is the most beautiful boy I have ever seen." I told her truthfully._

_She smiled her brilliant smile as she looked back down at the picture of her youngest son with pride. It was a picture from his eighth grade graduation, taken only a few weeks prior to when she had left him behind to spare him the heartache of seeing his mother, the center of his universe, crumble away into pieces and fade away in front of his eyes._

_Lizzie was having one of her lucid days today. These were becoming fewer as the months rolled by. The nursing home always called me whenever she had one of these days, when the MS plaques eating away her brain mercifully allowed her to remember who she was and what her surroundings were. _

_And I always came on these days. As the disease progressed in her body and took over her nervous system, she was deteriorating faster now. And these rare glimpses of Lizzie, days when she remembered me and didn't just give me polite smiles were what kept me going. I dropped classes for the entire day and came to spend the day with her. We spent the day taking walks along the grounds around the nursing home where I pushed her on her wheelchair and told her about school and my parents. She in turn tried to remember what little was left to tell me about her family, any memory of Ephraim falling off his bike or Edward refusing to leave her side to go out and play that she had missed to tell me. It was like she wanted to make sure that by giving me all her memories they would somehow be kept alive, even when she would lose them. I was her safety deposit box. And I willingly played the part._

_Then at some point during the day she always pulled out the only photo album of her life from before that she had brought with her when she left LA. We would flip through the pictures every single time with just as much interest as the first time she had shown me the pictures. I smiled when she showed me the picture of her and her husband in college, before they were married, when they were at a carnival. She had a sparkle in her eyes as she smiled at the camera while trying to stuff a bunch of cotton candy into Carlisle's mouth. I felt the sting of tears every time we looked at the wedding picture of Lizzie and Carlisle, where Lizzie looked at the camera with a look of joy on her face and smiled widely while her husband looked at her with a heartbreakingly loving look. I still blushed slightly when she pointed out how well endowed her youngest son was even at birth as we looked at a picture of Lizzie's handsome husband giving him his first bath. I always chuckled when we got to the picture of Lizzie trying to hug Ephraim, who made a face trying to get away from her, while Edward hugged his mother around her waist and dug his face deep into her side._

_I looked up at Lizzie and waited until she lifted her eyes from the album and noticed me watching her._

"_They must miss you so much."_

_She smiled wryly and looked down at the album again, running the tips of her fingers over her youngest son's head full of copper hair that was identical to hers._

"_Let me contact them, Lizzie. They'll want to say goodbye." I implored._

_Lizzie was an orthopedic surgeon. I was a medical student in the 3__rd__ year. We had long known about her multiple sclerosis and were used to discussing it like professionals on her lucid days. Somehow, trying to be objective about the whole thing helped both of us to just not break down. Because she knew what was coming and because I was the closest thing to a family that she had around her, we were often forced to discuss things like what she wanted to do with her things when the time came, and so on. After all these years, we were used to that talk by now._

_She answered in the same way she always did. "You'll know when you have children of your own one day, Bella. You can't put them through something like that."_

_We had had this discussion millions of times before, but her lucid days were so rare now. And I always hoped that no matter what she said before, she would come around and change her mind as the time came nearer. So I was going to push her a bit more today._

"_But Lizzie, do you really want to leave them thinking for the rest of their lives that you didn't love them?"_

_She bent down and kissed her boys through the photos. "They know I love them Bella. No matter what I do, what they do, where I am and where they are. They will always know in the heart of their hearts how much I love them. They will only spend their lives being angry with me and I can live with that."_

_I sighed loudly and looked away at the leaves outside that fluttered in the breeze and cast dancing shadows on the floor of the humongous activity room of the nursing home. Large windows clad the wall of one side of the room providing a brilliant view of the spring leaves glowing in the sunlight outside for the other patients in the room. The nursing home was one that specialized in terminal patients with neurological disorders and I had found out about it as soon as I had moved to go to medical school here in Georgia. My parents had then helped Lizzie with the move and had helped her sell the house beside ours that she owned back in Jacksonville. They still came at least once every month and spent two to four days with her._

_She noticed my unease and covered one of my hands on my lap with hers and I looked at her._

"_They love me too much, Bella. It will break each of them a thousand times more if they see me withering away in front of their eyes. I can't do that to them. If I was going to die once, I'd let them be a part of that. But I die a hundred times, Bella. I go and then I come back. I can't imagine my boys waiting around for a good day when their Mama will actually know who they are. And what about all those bad days? Who will take care of them while they walk around the house like ghosts trying to come to terms with this disease that has taken away their mother's ability to remember them? _

_I can't even start to imagine the agony my husband will go through trying to take care of me as I lose one function after another until I just stop breathing one day. He will never let me stay at a place like this. He will take me home and all three of them will die a thousand deaths every day as they watch me die a little bit at a time._

_I love them too much to let that happen to them, Bella. You will know when you are a mother. You will do anything to protect them. Even have them hate you for leaving them. Even die alone."_

_I immediately regretted getting her that worked up and quickly put my arms around her waist and hugged her tightly, while I buried my face in her neck. She knew how to get to me. It was unfair but she always did this whenever I went into this line of questioning._

"_You're not alone, Lizzie. You will never be alone. I'm here." I said through tears and she rubbed her hands on my forearms to soothe me._

"_I know, sweetheart. You are the only light left in my world now."_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I stood in the foyer for a few minutes after Edward left and tried to think of what to do next. Then I heard the intercom buzz and realized the cab I had called for was here. Had all this really happen so quickly? Had it really taken all of 15 minutes to turn my entire world upside down?

I picked up my bag and left the Cullen mansion. I watched from inside as the cab made its way around the large fountain outside the house and went into the long driveway that took me further away from the house. I watched the trees aligning the long stretch of road leading up to the outer gate fly by.

I felt broken. I felt defeated. I felt more pain than I had ever felt before.

Before I met the Cullens, I hadn't had big dreams for myself. The only thing I worked hard for was to be good at being a doctor. Making Lizzie proud of me was the only goal I had in life. I was lonely doing it, but I was fine with that, because I didn't know better.

Then four months ago, I knew better.

Edward asked me why I became close to them, a question that I asked myself repeatedly when I had first started to get closer to the Cullens.

At first, I was just curious. Teenagers were supposed to spend their Friday nights out with their friends, hanging out or going to parties, taking part in the social scene of high school. I spent my Friday nights as a teenager playing the piano with Lizzie and listening to her tell me hundreds of stories of her family. I knew them like they were mine, even when I didn't have any idea of who they really were. I knew every scrape of Ephraim's knee when he played soccer, every cut in Edward's finger as he helped Lizzie in the kitchen. I knew their birthdays, what they liked to eat for breakfast, what books they liked to read, which video games they liked to play. I knew about forget-me-nots that Lizzie planted in her garden, that Carlisle always bought for her in plentiful when her plans would wither in the winter. I knew of the pink marble hue of the Cullen mansion, I knew of the color of the walls. All this I knew years before I had ever met the Cullens.

It was all like a fairy tale to me as a teenager: Lizzie's life before she came to Jacksonville. Initially, after she and I became friends, she wouldn't want to talk too much about it, the memories hurting her as she told me little stories here and there. But to me it was all so fascinating. Lizzie was nothing like the other people in my surroundings. With her perfectly done hair and her manicured nails and her expensive clothes, her sophisticated way of speaking and the professional but warm air around her, she was like a movie star to me. And this faraway but glamorous family of hers who lived in a gorgeous mansion in the hills of Los Angeles intrigued me, like I was being told the secrets of a movie star's life first hand. And so I pressed her to tell me more and eventually she loved it. It made her feel close to them in some way, as she and I revived them in our evenings together.

As life brought me face to face with Lizzie's family four months ago, I was scared out of my mind but I was fascinated. These were people that I knew like my own family and I had never even been given the chance to see them face to face.

So even though I knew I should have just stayed away, I had accepted the rotation at LA, thinking I might just get a little glimpse into my distant family at some point.

But then I had come here and was floored by the devastation that Lizzie left behind her. I saw the broken love inside of Carlisle, I saw the hidden pain in Edward. And then there was Sophie. A part of Lizzie's legacy that she never even knew existed. Lizzie's first grandchild, from her eldest son who had passed away. A part of Lizzie that was scared and lonely despite of how much her grandfather and uncle tried to keep her happy.

I never came to the Cullens with the intention of trying to affect them in any way. I was merely curious and just wanted a look. I wanted some visceral things to match the images in my head. I wanted to see Carlisle, the man that Lizzie's every breath loved to its end. I wanted to see her boys and if they still resembled their mother. I wanted to see the house that she had built with her husband and decorated every single corner of. One look. That's all I had wanted.

But then I had gone to the house and had barely kept myself together when Sophie came out of nowhere and changed everything. The way she had clung to me in the garden, the sounds of her wailing during her panic attack and then how she had relaxed at my touch. I couldn't walk away from that even if I wanted to. And then Carlisle had opened his heart and let me in. And I saw that they were all broken and wounded beyond anything that Lizzie could have guessed. She had no idea just how much damage she was leaving behind her. And despite of Edward's temper, which I knew was because of Lizzie, I couldn't distance myself from them.

I knew this would end badly. I knew that no matter the outcome I would get hurt at the end of it all. But I had still embraced them and poured every bit of myself into trying to stitch together some of their wounds the best I could.

Just like I had done for Lizzie.

I had known right from the beginning of our friendship that she was sick. The more I grew to love her and admire her, she made sure I was always aware of the fact that her time was going to come to an end. She tried to distance herself from me many times. My parents also made some attempts to make me see reason. But even though I knew that at the end I would be left heartbroken at the loss of my best friend, I could never walk away from her. She had needed me back then without realizing it herself, just like her family had needed me now.

I guess you could say I had a soft spot for the Cullens.

And just like it had ended in heartbreak for me three years ago when I lost my best friend, it had ended badly today.

But just like I could never regret loving Lizzie with all my heart, I could never regret loving her family that she had consciously or subconsciously made every bit as much mine as it was Edward's or Ephraim's.

And therefore, even though I felt broken and defeated at the loss of my heart and soul at Edward's parting words to me, I didn't want to focus on that right now. I decided to put away my sorrow to deal with it later when I was on my own. Right now I needed to fix whatever damage I had done today as much as I could.

So as my cab pulled into the highway, I pulled out my cell phone and sent a text, hoping against all odds that I might be given a chance.

"_I know you must be angry with me. But please give me a chance to explain myself. And I have something for you. I will be waiting in my apartment."_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I was going through my refrigerator and throwing away all the stuff in it when my doorbell rang. I took a deep breath and went to open it. The sight before me was not what I had expected.

I had expected there to be harshness and hatred in his eyes but there was only pain and grief and emptiness. They were bloodshot and puffy from the tears he had been shedding. His hair was in a mess and his clothes were crinkled. I crumpled at the sight as I noticed that he hadn't even bothered to change out of the sweats he was wearing at home. He was still wearing slippers on his feet.

"Is it something from her?" Carlisle's voice cracked. It didn't sound anything like the man I had known until now.

He was referring to what I had written in the text. I nodded my head while the tears ran freely down my cheeks at Carlisle's devastation. I stepped away from the door and let him inside. He walked into the living room and every step he took was empty and dejected. He looked lost.

I followed him into the living room and watched him take a seat on the couch, as he leaned down on his elbows and placed his head on his hands. We were quiet for a very long time before he spoke without looking up.

"The day we got married, something changed in me. No matter where in the world I went, all those hours of travelling in empty jets, all those nights spent alone in hotel rooms when she stayed home with the boys, I never felt alone. She went with me wherever I went, even if she stayed here. I always took her with me."

He finally looked up at me and his eyes were full of tears. "I stopped feeling that way a few years ago. When did it happen?"

I swallowed as I tried to contain my sobs so I could answer him. I didn't need him to explain his question. I knew what he wanted to know. He wanted to know when the bond between him and Lizzie had finally been severed by death. "Three years ago."

His face crumpled, as if he couldn't bear to hear those three words. I looked away from him, not being able to keep looking at the pain that emanated from him.

"Was she sick?" He barely whispered but I heard him. I looked at him and I whispered back, like the words were doomed somehow.

"Multiple sclerosis."

His eyes snapped up to mine and anger flooded his face for a moment.

"She lied. _That's_ why she left."

I looked down at the floor and nodded slightly. I felt guilty on her behalf.

He looked away from me and shook his head in anger and disbelief and pain. "I should have known. I should have pressed harder. I just let her have her way."

"You always did." I whispered and his eyes snapped to mine again, softening slightly.

"I shouldn't have that time." He said in a small voice.

"You couldn't have changed her mind, Carlisle. Her willingness to protect her family from the pain was too fierce."

His face once again crumpled and he sunk further into the sofa.

"But she suffered alone. All the way to the end."

My voice quivered at the love and anguish in his voice. "She wasn't alone. I was there."

Carlisle's eyes fixed on mine again and his face changed as he suddenly seemed to remember my role in all this. He had been so lost in Lizzie's grief that he hadn't even cared about all the rest of it until now. I saw his eyes silently asking me questions and took a deep breath as he pushed his grief aside for a moment.

"I'm sorry Carlisle."

He knew what I was apologizing for. "You don't need to apologize to me, Isabella. The first year after Lizzie left, she kept in touch with me through e-mails to make sure the boys were doing alright. She said that even though things were over, she just wanted to know that they were coping. She used to tell me a little bit about her life at times. At one point she sent me a picture of you and her, and I recognized you the first time you came to the house."

My eyes widened in shock at what he had said and I opened my mouth to speak but he ignored me.

"I had always known that something was wrong besides what she had told me. And she knew I worried about her. I think that's the reason she sent me that picture. She wanted me to know that she was alright before she broke off all contact and disappeared from our lives forever."

I stood motionless, staring at him for a long time before I found the courage to speak.

"Why didn't you call me out on it?"

He gave me a dejected look. "Because I was hoping that maybe she was still alive. And you were my only connection to her. Don't get me wrong, I was suspicious of you in the beginning. I did a background check to make sure you were clear. I would never let a stranger into my family without taking precautions. But then I saw the good in you Isabella. I saw how genuinely and truly benevolent you were and I decided to take a chance on you. Someone with this much goodness and genuine love for a family that wasn't even her own couldn't be trying to harm us. So I let you in and decided to wait for you to explain your reasons for keeping your connections to Lizzie a secret at your own time."

He paused a little before looking down at the floor and saying the next words.

"And as foolish as it sounds, my crazy heart hoped that maybe you would somehow bring Lizzie back to us one day. I could wager my entire existence on that hope."

My heart felt like it was going to burst. Lizzie was so wrong. She thought Carlisle loved her. This shadow of a man sitting in front of me more than loved her. She was his entire world.

Carlisle broke the silence. "You said she made you promise not to tell us. Was she expecting that you would meet us?"

I swallowed a lump so I could speak. "Not like this. But I tried to convince her many times to let me contact you guys. She knew how much I wanted you to have a chance to say goodbye and she was afraid I would do it against her wishes."

He frowned. "I understand why she didn't want us to know when she was sick. But why would she want to keep it from us in the future too?"

Couldn't he see that?

"Because she never wanted you to look the way you do right now. She didn't want Edward to have to go through the pain of knowing his mother suffered for so long. She didn't want you guys to have to feel guilty and to feel the pain of losing her like that. She'd rather you were just angry with her and hated her."

His face grew dark and angry again. "She can't protect us from heartbreak and pain."

"She tried. Until the very last days. She kept begging me to promise her over and over again. It was a strange way for her to protect you but that's what she thought she was doing."

We were both very quiet for a long time after that. Carlisle kept his eyes fixed on the floor as he processed everything, while I stood across the room opposite to him. I realized just how many questions he must have at that moment and decided to carry out my last act of betrayal to Lizzie. I walked into my room and walked back with the stack of leather-bound journals in my arms. I placed them on the coffee table in front of Carlisle and he eyed them then looked up at me in confusion.

"She wrote them through the years. She started once she stopped e-mailing you. She couldn't go on without the connection to you so she told herself that she was writing letters to you in these. It became an everyday thing and she wrote to you every night in her journals, telling you every bit of detail from her days and recording all her thoughts. She told you about her day like she used to before she left you. These are all her journals."

I waved to them and he gave me an incredulous look, then looked at the journals like they were treasures at the bottom of a sea, threatening to disappear at any moment.

"She will of course hate me for giving these to you, since this is the exact opposite of never even letting you know what happened to her. But now that I have broken my promise to her, I can only imagine how many questions you have. These will answer them all. And regardless of what she said, these do belong to you. She wrote them to you after all."

He reached out and ran the tip of his finger on the leather of the journal on top of the pile reverently. The gesture seemed so intimate I almost felt like I was intruding, and I looked away. He looked at me with reverent eyes and held my hand.

"Thank you." He whispered as he looked up at me. I swallowed another lump and just shook my head from side to side while my tears ran freely again.

He picked up all the journals and made his way to the front door. Just as he was going to reach it he turned around and looked at me with a questioning look.

"Can I ask you something?"

I nodded immediately.

"What made you change your mind today? Why did you decide to break your promise?"

That was an easy answer. "I couldn't let Edward break again."

Pain flashed across his face, I don't know for what. But he looked at me for a long time then turned around to leave again.

"Carlisle, can _I_ ask you something?"

He turned around again and nodded, clutching Lizzie's journals to his chest like one would hold a child.

"How come you never lost faith? She said some very harsh things when she left. She told you she didn't love you anymore."

He smiled wryly, thinking of a distant memory.

"She could have told me that the sun turned black and I would have believed her. But that is the only thing coming out of her mouth that I would never believe. I knew she was lying but I also knew that she must have been desperate if she had gone that far to get away from us. I let her have her way but I never believed it."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

After Carlisle left I stayed awake that entire night. The moon rose on one side of the sky and set on the other. I saw its light travel across the living room floor throughout the night as I walked around gathering things around the apartment.

In the past four months, I had come to know better. I had come to realize that life didn't need to be lonely.

In the past four months, I had found my family.

In the past four months, I had come to love a man the way Lizzie had loved her Carlisle.

Tonight, I broke that man even though I had sworn I would never let that happen to him.

Tonight, I lost the dreams of a happy life that my mind had painted pictures of in the past four months.

Tonight I broke the promises I made to my best friend.

I climbed down the stairs of my building early the next morning. The sun hadn't even risen out of the horizon yet. The street outside was empty and there were no sounds but that of the early morning birds chattering away in the tree outside the building.

I got into the cab that waited outside my building and waited for the driver to climb back into the cab after he placed my things that I had packed all night inside the trunk.

"The airport, right?" He asked as he looked at me through the rearview mirror.

I nodded. "LAX."

**A/N: So, guess what? Jamie and I….? We love you. We really really do. So we decided to share some love. Presenting…..*drum rolls*….. the SoS blogsite!…*tada!***

**http : / / sourceofserendipity . blogspot . com / (Direct link on my profile too)...Among other things (like these crazy ass fantabulous posters that Jamie made for SoS characters, and banners and music and stuff) there's an extended apology for my delay in getting this chapter out :-S  
**

**Oh also, I got me a twitter and am having a blast over there. I'd love to interact with more SoS readers! I tweet at raindrops855.**

**I'll ramble on more on the blog, but right now, someone very special has something to say to ya'll. That's right, ladies! We have for you a…BETA'S NOTE! She's been wanting to say hi for a while and here she is girlies. None other than the jadalulu herself! (She's kinda being super nice to me here but she can't really help it. I'm her ff soulmate :D)**

**B/N: *peeks out from behind hands* Hi there, SoS readers. I'm jadalulu, the Beta. :) Just wanted to say hey and thank you all for cheering raindrops on. She busts her ass for you guys on the daily. Beastward isn't easy to translate...but, by a show of hands, who thinks he's worth the trouble? Speaking of, quite a pickle the kids are in this time, huh? *sigh* But, alas, an easy go of it wouldn't be as much fun to read about. Hope everyone gets a chance to check out the blog! I know raindrops hooked you up with the link...all kinda goodies there-music, banners, some rather...**_interesting_** character posters (if I do say so myself lol). Hope you guys enjoy it. We'd both like to hear what you think about what's happening. Feel free to give your two cents. And if-like myself-rain has made you Beastward's bitch, do me a favor and show her some love. :) Nice talkin to ya lovelies...I'm off to have a little chat with a certain messy-haired grouch. Wish me luck...rumor has it he's on a rampage...~jadalulu~**


	24. The pain of loving in vain

"_**A mighty pain to love it is, and 'tis a pain that pain to miss;  
but of all the pains, the greatest pain is to love, but love in vain."**_

_~ Abraham Cowley_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

The fucking sun had been setting for fucking _hours_. Goddamnit. How long did it take for the motherfucking shit to disappear behind the horizon!

I couldn't tell you how long I'd been sitting on the edge of my bed. I had lost sense of time. The last thing I remember was running up the stairs and walking straight to this part of my bed facing the window and sitting down on the edge of it.

The only thing I can tell you is that the motherfucking sun was high on the window when I sat down. And I had been looking at it all this time, willing it to fucking drop dead. And now it was finally halfway submerged behind the horizon but the motherfucker was like stuck there or something. I hadn't moved a muscle since I had sat down here and some parts of me probably hurt like shit from sitting still for so long and some parts had probably fallen asleep but I couldn't tell you about any of it. The only thing I had thought of in the past few hours or so since I sat down here was that I wanted the motherfucking sun to set.

Then the fucker finally did. But like I had expected that would somehow free me from my physical and mental vigil, it didn't. Twilight came and went. Then darkness enveloped the piece of sky that I could see out my window. None of it released me from my prison.

I tried to blink a few extra times, to see if I could somehow feel something somewhere. But nothing. Not a goddamn thing anywhere. I knew my toes and my ass must be fucking numb. I thought of wriggling a toe. I thought of moving my head slightly. But, no. I could only sit on the edge of my bed, with my hands resting on the bed on my sides, my legs on the floor, and I stared out the window.

I will tell you what the problem was. It was the fact that if I moved, if my mind thought of anything other than the darkness outside the window, if I let even a sliver of my reality seep through to me, I would have no reason to still be here. My motherfucking body would finally give in and put a stop to the air flowing through my lungs, the blood flowing through my veins. Because there really wasn't any reason for any of that to happen anymore.

"Edward?" A soft voice rang out from the doorway to my room and I felt a movement in my body for the first time this afternoon. My jaw clenched.

I shut my eyes tightly and my fists clenched on the sheets. No. _No, no, no. _That voice was the reason I needed to keep going. The reason I had kept going before _she_ came along. The reason I had to release myself from this prison even if it meant letting the darkness take over.

I took a deep breath and did just that. I released my mind and my body from the prison. And just like I knew, it felt like someone had taken a butcher's knife and cut a hole through my entire chest and left a gaping hole there. I could feel the sharp edges of the knife and even smell the metal of it if I inhaled deep enough. I immediately leaned forward and wrapped my arms around my torso.

I was aware that Sophie had been standing in the doorway all this time and for the first time since I was 15 I begged God. I begged for him to keep me together long enough so I could deal with her.

And it took a few minutes, but he actually listened to me. I felt a numbness come over the hole in my chest and finally looked at Sophie. She was holding on to the door and staring at me with a look of terror on her face. I pulled my face together as much as I could and numbly walked over to where she was. She clutched on the door and watched me walk to her in silence, her little eyes filled with an amount of concern that would crush a fucking grown up.

I dragged my feet to where she was standing and sat down on the floor in front of her. Before I could say anything she reached out with her free hand that wasn't clutching the door and wiped my cheek. Fuck, I didn't realize there were goddamn tears on my face. I didn't want Sophie to see that. I wiped my face with the palm of my hands in one fast motion then started to say something but she quickly scanned my room with her eyes once and said the only thing that could possibly make me feel any worse than I did at that moment.

"_Ou est Bella?_"

And the sound of that name, _her _name, was far worse than any knife that Sophie could possibly have driven through my motherfucking chest. She wanted to know where _she_ was.

I looked Sophie level in the eyes and tried to put away my own goddamn self for a second so I could handle her.

"She disappeared, _princesse_. She was a fairy, remember? She wasn't real."

Sophie shook her head as she eyed me cautiously. _"__Tu as toujours dit qu'elle n'était pas une fée.__ "_ She was arguing that I have always told her that _she_ wasn't a fairy. She was trying to protect her own mind from the reality of the situation, not too much unlike the way I had been trying to do mine.

"I was wrong, _chérie_. About everything. I was wrong. And I promise you, she wasn't real."

This was the best explanation for the situation that my fucked up mind could come up with. It was best to give Sophie this clean break from _her_ so she didn't wait around for her. Her disappearance would cause her heartbreak either way. And trust me, I would see to it that she _would_ permanently disappear from Sophie's world.

Jasper appeared in the hallway then and stood beside Sophie as he looked down at the two of us. His face was full of fear and concern but he knew that he needed to keep his damn mouth shut at that moment. I glared at him as I stood up.

"Why did you bring her back here without calling first?"

He just kept looking at me with the same concerned eyes. It pissed me off more than ever. I didn't have time for his motherfucking pity at that moment.

"She needs to stay with you guys for a few days." I told Jasper and immediately picked up Sophie and kissed her head once before handing her over to Jasper. Once he took her and she hid her face in his neck I finally reached my limit of control and quickly closed the door behind them.

And as soon as I closed the door, I heard for the first time that sound, that horrible wretched sound that was going to haunt me for months no matter how much I tried to push it out of my fucking mind.

_Her laughter._

It kept echoing in my room and it sounded like it was coming from a faraway place. I immediately placed my hands over my ears and shut my eyes, trying to block the sound out. It went away and I stayed that way for a long time before removing my hands from my ears again. But then, there it was again. And I realized it sounded far away because it was coming from another room. I turned my head to see that the door to the dark room was slightly open.

I warily made my way towards it and slowly opened the door. I turned on the lights and my eyes immediately fell on the largest picture of her that was on the opposite wall from the door.

It was a picture of her laughing, her nose slightly crinkled. Her head was thrown back and the sun was caught in her hair. It was a close up of her face that I had taken when she was being tickled to the ground by Sophie out in the back garden two months ago. I had the picture blown up so that it would cover parts of the wall from ceiling to floor.

Her laughter rang loudly throughout the room and I clutched on to the door handle as my eyes ran the length of the room. This room that I had spent countless nights at, developing pictures of her by hand, arranging them carefully on every wall so they covered every surface. The room that was token of my devotion and trust and faith. The one that painted the pictures of my heart on the walls for her to see. The one that she _had_ now seen. The one that symbolized the power I let her have over me. The power that she took and used to break me into the last remaining pieces that the rest of the fucked up world had left intact.

The room that now mocked me by its mere existence_. Look what you did and look what you got. Serves you right for being a naïve motherfucker._

I heard it then again. The sound of her laughter. Mocking me. Reminding me that no matter how genuinely my heart had loved that sound, it was all fake.

I walked right across the room and did the only thing I could. I grabbed hold of the chair from the worktable and took it to where the ceiling to floor length picture of her laughing was. I got up on the chair and gently extracted the top corner of the picture from the wall that it was glued to. Then once I had a firm grip on it I pulled the motherfucking shit hard so that it ripped all the way to the floor, leaving only half of her face and her laughter still plastered to the wall.

Next my eyes fell on a picture I hadn't taken myself. It was a picture from the charity ball we had been to that I had gotten from the photographer there. One of her dancing with Dad but I cut it out so you could only see her. He was twirling her and her dress and hair flew behind her. A flash of us dancing together that night and how I had begged her to have mercy on me went through my mind. My heartbeat increased and I noisily pushed the chair flying across the room as I walked over and wretched that picture off the wall too, leaving only a slanted bit showing her shoes on the wall.

Next to it was a picture of her with a serene look on her face. I knew that one because it was my favorite look on her. A serene and satisfied expression that she often had when she watched Sophie playing around and being silly. Flashes went through my mind again.

_Her and Sophie chasing me around the house after I cheated in Monopoly. _

_Her clutching Sophie to her chest when she used to have panic attacks.__  
_

It was all a lie.

With a broken growl that erupted from a place deep inside of me I tore that picture away from the wall.

And then it wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop any of it. The flashes that ran through my goddamn mind, like it was playing that shit for me just to drive the point home. _They were all built on lies._

_Her asleep on the kitchen counter while she waited for me to come home for dinner._

_Having her in my arms when I said thank you._

_Her surrounded by hundreds of butterflies at the butterfly house._

_Us in the kitchen, cooking together. _

_Her curled up in a ball in my living room in NYC, with tears in her eyes. _

_Her bandaging my head and the feeling of having her so close._

_Us eating lunch at the diner when we first became friends. _

_Her sitting next to me at the hospital when they were going to take Dad into surgery. _

_The motherfucking T-shirts._

With a feral growl I launched for a picture of her looking irritated and tore it away from the wall. Then I took the piece that was in my hand and smashed it into a ball then tried to tear it apart.

"_Are you going to break my heart, Isabella?"_ The sound of my own voice reverberated in my room and every picture of her on the opposite wall from where I was standing was laughing at me. _"Yes, that's what I was planning on doing all along."__  
_

I picked up the chair and with a loud scream threw it across the room. It fell on the wall and shattered to pieces but the goddamn pictures still kept laughing. I pushed the worktable out of my way, making all its contents of developing fluid and pictures and film and paper and my camera crash on the floor while I made my way across the room and then frantically tore pictures all over the place. Once I was done with that wall I kept going until every single wall in the room was stripped of every evidence of my motherfucking idiocy and her betrayal.

With the same hands that I built this shrine to her, I tore it to pieces.

_How could I have let this happen? How could I have trusted someone so false? How could I be so wrong?_

Once I was done tearing apart the dark room I wasn't done though. The ache inside my chest hadn't subsided one little bit. I still felt the knife being wedged into my goddamn chest and I couldn't stay still or it would just keep going. So I stomped out to my room and picked up the bedside lamp and threw it across the room to the mirror on my closet door. I pushed my couch at my computer table, shattering everything on it. I went to the bookcase and tipped it over, making it crash headfirst into the floor, sending all the books and CD's everywhere. I went over to the sound system and bashed it with the handle of the lamp I had thrown before. I broke the mirror inside the bathroom, tore down the glass shower door and sent glass shards all over the floor. I saw blood dripping on the floor but couldn't care less about where it was coming from.

Not only had she betrayed me, but she had betrayed me for the one person that was the source of all my pain.

And then she had stood up for her. _She had taken her side. _

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

It was late in the afternoon the next day and I was once again sitting inside a cab, but in a different city, and driving away from the airport I had arrived at.

The cab made its way through the city center and as I took in the familiar surroundings of the city I grew up in, memory after memory kept running through my head. We passed by a theatre where Lizzie had taken me to watch my first play. We passed by a mall where she had once taken me shopping to buy me books. After she and I had first become friends and before she had started to get too sick, we had explored every inch of this city together while I played her tour guide.

I shuddered a little when I thought of how nervous I had been when Edward had insisted to come to Jacksonville with me to visit my parents. This entire city and my parents' house were filled with the feeling of _her_ and I had been so terrified that he would somehow sense her lingering presence here. And the fact that I was keeping her a secret from him became so much more tangible when he had been here.

After another fifteen minutes the cab pulled up to the address in the outskirts of the city and dropped me off at the end of the desolate road. I pushed the iron gate and dragged my suitcase behind me as I walked the paved pathway that was covered in the cherry blossoms that had fallen from the rows of trees flanking it.

I finally reached the corner plot and let go of my suitcase. I stood there for a long time, taking in the vision of the light pink cherry blossoms that covered the green grass here too. I reached over and removed some of the petals from the shiny marble of the headstone, then walked a bit further back and sunk to my knees. I hadn't brought her any flowers this time.

"Hi, Lizzie." My voice sounded raspy and dead in the empty cemetery, and the wind kept blowing cherry blossom petals all over the place.

"I broke him." I whispered and the wind picked up and whipped my hair all over my face.

"I tried. So hard. To find a way to not hurt them but still respect your wishes. I know I had no right to tell them those things about you. They are your family and it's between you and them. I know that. But I…"

I took in a shuddering breath as a sob ripped through me. Tears flew freely as I spoke between sobs.

"I love him so. How could I let him think that I was leaving because I didn't love him? And how could I let him want me if he didn't know who I really am."

I paused for a few seconds and sobbed quietly.

"I tried so hard to make sure he would never get hurt again. But he would get hurt no matter what I did. I should never have gone there to start with. I should never have been there."

I looked up at the headstone as if I was looking into her eyes.

"I only went because I just wanted to see them. You had told me so much. And I just had to make sure they were doing alright, like you said they would. But then I got there and they weren't, Lizzie. How could you have done that to them? They were so broken, all of them. And somehow they found relief in me. And at first I was taking care of them because they were yours. I let my love for you guide my decisions."

And then something occurred to me and my sobs subsided. I felt indignant.

"But they are no longer just yours. They're mine too. I love you Lizzie, but I love them too. Not only because I love you, but because they are mine too.

And so, I know you are angry I broke your promise. And you might think it wasn't my place. But I couldn't let your son fall for me and break over me while keeping him in the dark. He deserved the truth this time around. I don't care if he never wants to see me again, because this time he got to make that choice himself."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Carlisle**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

By the time I drove back up to the house after having been at Isabella's place, it was already pitch dark outside. I clutched the journals that Isabella had given me and made my way inside. When I walked through the door, I heard sounds of heavy objects crashing upstairs.

I knew those sounds. I had heard them for years since devastation had struck him in his young years. I looked once at the staircase, contemplating going to him and trying to make him calm down. But then I stopped myself.

Tonight, Edward was in the worst kind of hell. When he had been let down by the world, he hated everyone else for it and took out his pain through anger. But now, he had been let down by his love for Isabella and his faith in her. He had let himself down this time because he had decided to love her and have faith in her. He couldn't release that anguish by taking it out on the world anymore. It would cling to him no matter what he did. And he needed to do destroy his surroundings tonight.

And whether or not he would ever admit it to himself, the little boy that he once was, who considered Lizzie his sun and his moon, was mourning her death. My little boy was mourning the loss of one more chance to stand up to her and question her on why she had broken him.

There was nothing anyone could say or do to relieve his pain. I realized that this had the potential of obliterating him completely but I also knew that he wouldn't let anyone close enough to help him right now.

I walked into the living room and turned on the lamp on the side table to illuminate the darkness somewhat so I could look at the leather-bound pieces of my heart that I held in my hands. I took a deep breath and then swallowed loudly as I opened to a random page in one of the journals.

I was immediately taken about by her flowing script and couldn't help the sob that ripped through me. I ran my fingers over the letters on the page that I couldn't read yet because tears were blurring my view. It took me a few minutes, but I finally managed to pull myself together enough so I could read Lizzie's words to me.

"_Hi Darling,_

_Sorry I couldn't write yesterday. Bella refuses to have a graduation party so I insisted on taking her out for the night. We went to the Sheraton for a nice meal and you should have seen how her eyes lit up when she took in the ornately decorated restaurant._

_It never ceases to surprise me how she can become so happy with the smallest of things. Things that you and I or our children would never find out of the ordinary. If I would ever have taken the boys to an upscale place like that they would just complain about it being boring and want to leave as soon as possible. But she had this gratitude in her eyes the entire night last night, like she was grateful to be given an opportunity to be at a place like that. It always humbles me that she can feel gratitude over such small things._

_You should have seen her at the graduation yesterday. She was valedictorian and the words she delivered in her speech were so mature for a high school graduate. She told me yesterday that she wants to be a doctor, and I will admit it to you…I felt the strangest kind of pride in having inspired such a wonderful human being._

_It's not just that I am happy that she wants to pursue this line of work. It's so much more than that-"_

I jumped a little in my seat as a particularly loud thud reverberated throughout the house. I took a deep breath and continued reading as the sounds of my son breaking down played in the background.

"_She has the ability to heal, Carlisle. _

_She is only 18 years old but her soul is so nurturing. As much as I like to pretend that I am the one who is guiding her in life and teaching her things, she has taken on the role of my nurturer. She cares for others in every fiber of her being. She lets me teach her piano on the days when I feel a bit worse without complain, but I can see how her eyes dart to me every time I flinch in pain. Or how she discreetly puts a cushion on the piano bench so it's more comfortable for me to sit. She argues with me about something ridiculous while discreetly placing a glass of water on my night table so I won't have to go downstairs in the middle of the night if I get thirsty. She cares not to prove anything, but because it's in her nature."_

I paused reading as a particular memory of Isabella doing exactly that came to my mind. I thought back to the day when all the children had been playing Monopoly and she had picked a fight with Edward about him cheating. She had chased him around and created a scene, but she had inadvertently involved the whole family in an intimate and playful moment as everyone ganged up on tickling Edward on the floor. She had then stood back and watched it all with a quiet smile on her lips. She had found a way of including Edward in the family's fun, without letting it seem like it was her doing.

I heard glass shatter upstairs and took a deep breath to continue reading.

"_But then, I worry for her. She is too empathic. She puts herself through hell for the sake of others. She knew that she would have to lose me at some point, but she also knew that I am alone. So she pushed aside the idea of how tragic the outcome of such a friendship would be for her, just because she knew that I had needed someone. _

_Sorry, I am being so emotional today. Seeing Bella graduate high school made me a little sappy. Also, they are upping the meds this week so that's taking a toll on me too. _

_I'm going to turn in for the night now. My eternal love to you and the boys. Kiss them goodnight for me._

_Always yours,__  
__Lizzie."_

I put down the journal and went to do as she told me to. I went to kiss my boy and pick him up in my arms and hold him there. If he decided to throw some things at me, I would just let him for a while.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

It took him one week to stop breaking things in the house. And he only stopped because Jasper and Alice brought Sophie back to the house, since she was starting to have nightmares at being away from her home for so long.

The first night after Sophie came back, she had a panic attack where she screamed for Isabella. We finally took her to the emergency room and they sedated her to make her stop.

Edward and I stayed with her that night even though the hospital staff tried to make us leave, saying it was against regulation for two people to stay the night. I called Alan, who was on the board, and they stopped bugging us after that.

I let Edward take the recliner beside the bed so he could be close to her, while I sat on the couch on the other side of the room. Edward sat with his arms leaned on the bedside, stroking Sophie's hair while she slept. I swallowed loudly as I took in the dark grey circles under his eyes and his sweats that he was wearing before Sophie got her attack. He had been wearing those same clothes for at least three days now. I let out a long sigh and he looked towards me, his hand still stroking Sophie's head. He gave me a passive glance then turned to look at her again.

It was funny how life came in circles. The scene in front of me wasn't entirely a new one for me. It wasn't long ago when Lizzie had left and Edward had broken down in pieces while Ephraim tried to keep him together, ignoring his own pain, like Edward was doing to Sophie now. And even this time, I was just as helpless to help my children as I had been back then. And even this time, I couldn't entirely hate the person that had caused this. I could only accept the hand we had been dealt and try to be there for my children in the ways I could.

Only this time, I felt a big part of the blame on myself. In the past week, as I watched my son crumble into pieces, I asked myself a thousand times whether or not this was all my doing. I had, after all, been the one to push him towards Isabella, and vice versa. Once my initial suspicion of Isabella had worn off and I had realized that she only had good intentions behind her actions, I had seen how good they were for each other and reveled in it. I had for so long given up hope on Edward. Then suddenly, she had changed him completely, and she hadn't even tried to do so. It was just the effect she had on him. He glowed in the light that she spread and I had hoped that this was life's way of giving Edward his fair share of happiness. And so I had pushed them both towards each other.

So now that it had all come crushing down, I wondered if all of this would have happened had I not intervened. It was moments like these that I missed Lizzie the most. She would have known the answer to that question and she would have known the exact words to either tell me off if I had been wrong, or put me at ease if I had been right in my actions.

I let out another sigh. I knew that asking Edward to eat something was futile. I had been trying that for days now and he just ignored me every time. He must have lost at least a few pounds this week.

"I am going to get myself something to drink. Do you want me to get you one while I'm at it?"

He just shook his head while he kept staring at her, his chin now resting on the bed beside Sophie's head. By the time I came back with a cup of coffee for him, he had fallen asleep in the same position I had left him in. I went to the nurses' station and asked them for a comforter, which I put around his shoulders.

Sophie woke up the next morning while Edward stood staring out the window and I sat on the couch watching him.

"Bella?" She asked in a raspy voice even before her eyes opened. Edward immediately darted to her side and started whispering in French to her. He spoke too low and too fast so I couldn't hear half the things he was saying. She finally opened her eyes and once she took in Edward and I standing there, her eyes searched the rest of the room for something. For someone.

"_Chérie, elle n'est pas ici."_ Edward told her in a emphatic voice that she wasn't here. Tears sprang to Sophie's eyes immediately and they started rolling down the sides of her face.

"No, no, no, no, no." Edward kept chanting as he frantically rubbed the tears away from her face. "Please, no, baby. It's all my fault. I did this to you. I let it happen. I am so sorry. So, so sorry, _princesse_."

She looked at me. "Did Edward make the fairy leave?"

I spoke with a determined voice. "No, darling. No one made her leave. It wasn't Edward's fault." I gave Edward a meaningful look, showing him that I meant what I said.

Fresh tears sprang to her eyes and she started sobbing violently. "Why did she leave me then?" She wailed and her chest heaved with her sobs and Edward quickly picked her off the bed and sat down on it, holding her to his chest.

"She didn't leave you. She left me. It's my fault she left. I am so so sorry, _princesse_."

The nurses rushed in hearing Sophie's wails, preparing to sedate her again, but I stopped them because she wasn't having a panic attack. Isabella's disappearance had left behind it a storm that none of us could escape and she was just feeling the effects of it. And she needed to let this out.

Sophie stopped crying after some time and raised her head from Edward's chest to look at his anguished face. While he stroke her hair relentlessly trying to calm her, she reached out with a small hand stroked his cheek.

"Who will fix you now?" She asked between hiccups.

Edward's face contorted in pain and I felt tears stinging my eyes. I had to look away from them for a second.

"We will fix each other, _chérie_." I looked at Edward and saw a look of determination in his face.

"I promise I won't let you miss her. We will always have each other. I promise."

"But we need a fairy, Edward!" A big sob escaped her again and he clutched her to himself tightly.

"No we don't. We don't need anyone. We will be fine, just the two of us."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

That was back in March. Three months had passed and now it was June. Not a lot of things had changed.

I was sitting in my office, rubbing my temples with my fingers with closed eyes, trying to relieve some of my frustration.

"I dunno, Pops. I'm not sure it's going to make a difference if you say something. It might actually get worse."

I rubbed my temples some more before finally looking up at Jasper sitting on the chair across my desk. His face looked every bit as concerned and frustrated as I felt.

"But I can't let him continue this way. This company is going to go bankrupt before the year ends if he keeps this up. He has already fired 13 people in the past month, Jasper. The people down at HR are bursting their aneurysms trying to find people to replace them."

"I know." Jasper sighed and looked out the window for some moments. He kept looking out as he spoke next.

"He wasn't like this the last time."

It was my turn to sigh. "I know."

After we had taken Sophie back home from the hospital, Edward had stayed home with her for two weeks straight. Then when Alice had promised to stay with Sophie while Edward was gone, he finally agreed to come back to work. But then, he had been out of control at the office ever since.

"He has been quite disruptive at work." I mused.

"Are you kidding? He has terrorized the entire staff…you should see how they literally shiver when they pass by his office, which they only do when they must and then they leave at least ten feet of space between themselves and his door."

This I had expected from Edward to an extent though…his violent outbursts at people. That wasn't really the issue though. I think some of the staff was actually relieved when he finally started having his outbursts again after Isabella left, since this was the side of Edward that they had learned to get used to. His relatively high spirits during the time she had been here only put the staff at more unease since they were scared of him erupting any moment.

But what I had not expected from him was the way he kept throwing away deals, firing competent people for seemingly trivial reasons and just being generally detached and uninterested in the company's progress.

And then there were the weekends, when Sophie went to stay with Jasper and Alice, he went out and got drunk and then got into fights almost every time. I made sure my schedule was always free on Saturday mornings so I could go and bail him out.

Edna, my secretary, came rushing into my office with a panicked look on her face. She didn't need to tell me what this was about. I quickly got up and walked out of my office and took the elevator to the floor below where Edward's office was. Jasper followed me without a word.

As soon as the elevator doors opened to Edward's floor, I flinched at the sound of glass shattering. This was a bad day.

Edward's secretary was pacing the lobby with a panicked look on her face that was comically similar to Edna's. As Jasper and I approached, her eyes first widened then relief flooded across her face. She glanced once towards his office and then yelped and jumped a little as another loud crash came from his office.

I put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile as I walked past her and made my way to his door, which was slightly ajar.

"I don't motherfucking pay a motherfucking excuse for an accountant a fucking fortune so he can fuck up an entire deal. Fire him and fire whoever hired him. And then fire the person that hired the motherfucker that hired him." Edward was standing by his desk, breathing heavily and staring down at Jeremy from HR, who cowered with slouched shoulders under Edward's harsh glare.

"I think in that case you are going to have to fire me, Jeremy. Since I'm pretty sure I am the person at the top of that chain." I patted Jeremy on the back as I walked past him and went to Edward, who huffed then turned around and walked over behind his desk before I could touch him to calm him down. He sat down at his chair and lit a cigarette and blew out puffs of smoke without looking at me.

He turned his head slightly and looked at Jeremy as I went to sit on the chair on the other side of his desk. He threw another nasty glare at the poor boy.

"What the fuck are you waiting for? Get the fuck out of my office." He growled at Jeremy with a menacing tone, with the cigarette still stuck between his lips. Jeremy immediately made his way out the door, almost bumping into Edward's secretary who came in and quickly tried to clean away as much broken glass from the floor as she could.

Jasper and I shared a look then each of us looked at Edward, who was now leaning over his desk, eyes intent on a document while smoking his cigarette like it was what was keeping him alive.

What worried me more than any of his disruptive behavior though, was the way he was at home. No matter what happened at the office, he came home by 5 pm every single day and spent the rest of the evening with Sophie. There hadn't been a single day when he had missed his routine with her. She had flourished under Edward's attention and he had kept his promise. He had made sure she didn't miss Isabella. It surprised me to see him with her like that, such a contrast to who he was at work. He laughed and played with her. He tickled her and chased her around the house. We always ate dinner together as a family but he made it a point to make sure there was never an extra bar stool around the counter.

And the reason I worried about him acting that way were the small things that no one else noticed. The way he glanced at the kitchen stoves and pots when he thought no one noticed…and he did so every night as we dished out the take out or servings from Chic that we had delivered. The way he never took pictures anymore. Not even of Sophie. The way his smile never reached his eyes. The way he reached for the remote and discretely changed the channel whenever a couple kissed on the television. The way he avoided walking past the blue room which had been hers. The way he never went into the library anymore. The way he never went out to the back garden and had asked the landscapers to not plant anymore forget-me-nots.

What worried me about my son this time around was that he was no longer just the angry boy who took out his frustrations on the world.

He was the angry boy who had lost his last shard of faith. And most importantly, this time things were different because of one additional fact. This time, he was also a boy who had been in love with a girl. And he was heartbroken.

**A/N: A little jumping back and forth in time in the middle there. Hope it wasn't too confusing.**

**I know. I know. Things look bad. I warned there'd be some rough times though, didn't I? But…you've all been patient for 23 friggin chapters. You're all troopers! So just give me a little bit more of that trust. A tiny minuscule bit more is all I need, I promise. :)**

**So, Jamie made two beautiful posters for this chapter: one of Beastward's breakdown and another of Bella at the cemetery. They're up in the SoS site. As is a chapter song. Link is on my profile. **

**As always, I love my beta. She's the reason I have the confidence to keep going with this. 3**


	25. I need you to see

"_**It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution."**_**  
**_~ Oscar Wilde_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

It was raining by the time I reached my parents' house after having been to Lizzie's grave in Jacksonville. As we pulled into their street, the rain was pounding on the cab's windows and I sighed as I realized I was going to get soaked just trying to get from the street to the house. I paid the cab driver and tried to shield myself from the pelting rain by holding my jacket over my head. But no sooner had I put a foot out that I realized I had stepped into a big fat puddle. My foot was covered over my ankles in mud water and I could feel the water seeping into my socks. I swore to myself and with a disgusted grunt extracted my foot from the puddle. I took out my suitcase from the trunk and then the cab drove away. I tried to grab a hold of the handle with one hand to drag it behind me towards the house, while still holding the jacket over my head with the other hand. As soon as I started walking towards the house though, the handle gave way and the suitcase went plummeting into the stream of muddy water that was gathering on the side of the street.

That's when I lost it. It was all too much. There were too many things that had gone wrong. And now it was raining and my foot was soaked and my suitcase with all my clothes in it was lying in dirty water and all my clothes in it would be soaked. A large sob escaped from somewhere deep in my throat as I looked down at the suitcase and then I did the only thing I could.

I sat down on the pavement outside my parents' house and cried my heart out while I got soaked with rain. I sat with my knees folded under me and held myself with my arms, while I let out deep sobs, bending forward so that my face was almost touching the ground.

I didn't hear the door of the house open but suddenly my mother's arms were surrounding me, enveloping me in her warmth, warding off the stupid rain that was everywhere and that I couldn't stop from attacking me.

I turned my face so it was buried in her chest and sobbed violently. She held me tight to herself and whispered soothing words into my ears to calm me down but I didn't hear any of it. None of it made any sense. All I could hear were the nonsense sounds that she was making.

After sometime, I felt my father's arms circling me as he picked me up off the pavement. I put my arms around his neck as I now sobbed into his shoulder. He carried me to the house while my mom carried my suitcase behind us.

After Dad carried me upstairs, mom changed my clothes and I crept into my bed, where I resumed the sobs. Mom got into the bed with me and held me for a long time before she couldn't take it anymore and begged me to tell her what was wrong. I told her the basics of it through my sobs just so she wouldn't have a heart attack or something. I could only imagine how scared and worried my parents would have been to see me that way. And for the next three days that's basically all I did. I lay in bed and alternated between crying and sleeping and at times eating something because Mom basically forced it down my throat.

I couldn't pinpoint exactly what was making me feel that devastated. But it just felt like I had been holding so much inside of me for so long and it all just came rushing out in one big flood. I was mourning the loss of my family in LA. New sobs ripped through me whenever Sophie's face flashed through my mind. I could only imagine how terribly she would react to all this. I had texted Jasper before I boarded my flight in LA, telling him to make sure Edward and Sophie were ok and that I was sorry for leaving so hastily and that I would call him and Alice later and explain everything. Then I had turned off my phone immediately because I didn't have it in me to deal with him and Alice at that moment. But now, as images of Jasper's warm smile and Alice's concerned faces flashed through my head, I sobbed more. I sobbed because Carlisle was losing his wife all over again and grieving her, and I no longer had the right to comfort him. And I sobbed because every tie that I had made to Edward had been shattered to pieces.

I reemerged from my room on the fourth day and Charlie actually yelped when he saw me as we almost ran into each other in the hallway. That's how scary I looked. I just ignored him and went to the bathroom.

For the next week I walked around the house in a zombie-like state. I sat with my parents during dinners and stared out the window while picking at my food as they made conversation with each other, throwing me a concerned glance now and then. I often curled up in the couch and watched TV with Dad. I couldn't tell you to this day what exactly we were watching.

None of my parents tried to force me to talk any more than I wanted to. They had a pretty good idea of what could have happened. And for the time being they were just glad that I had started eating again and that I was at their house so they could make sure I was at least physically alright.

Sometime in the third week, a few minutes after the house phone rang, Mom brought me the phone saying it was Mike Newton. I just switched my level look between the phone in her hand and her eyes a couple of times, then returned to focusing on the TV. She put the phone back to her ear and walked back into the kitchen. She joined me a few minutes later in the couch saying that the hospital in LA had reported my unexplained absence to my Chief of Medicine in Seattle and he had said that I would lose my job if I didn't show up to work and explain myself before the following Monday. I just turned up the volume on the TV to drown out my mother's voice.

Towards the end of that week, I was sitting in the swing set on my parents' porch in the late afternoon. The sun was starting to set and pink rays were dispersed all over the sky. I sat with one knee pulled up to rest my chin on it, while the other leg hung down to the floor. I was looking at nothing in particular.

I heard the screen door to the porch open and after a few seconds Dad sat down in the swing next to me. He sat there quietly for a few minutes looking at me, but didn't say anything. Finally, I turned my head so that my cheek rested on my knee and looked at him. He ran a hand through my hair before his eyes got all serious.

"You are a good person." He said in that voice that he only reserved for times when he and I had our heart-to-heart moments.

I kept my eyes on him as I murmured my reply. "I don't know anymore."

Then after a long silence I added. "I broke him."

He frowned a little. "Did you apologize?"

I nodded.

"Did you explain why you had to keep that secret from him?" He asked next.

I looked down at the collar of his shirt. "I tried. He wouldn't listen."

"Izzy, if he can't give you the benefit of the doubt…if he can't see that you are a genuinely good person and that you could never do things to intentionally hurt someone, then he's not worth…"

I immediately shot up to a straight position.

"Don't. There is nothing wrong with how he reacted. He has every right to be angry. None of it is his fault."

Charlie saw the stern look of determination on my face and decided to let it go. He just reached out and pulled me to his side, where I sat cuddled for the rest of that afternoon.

I went to sleep crying into my pillow that night as Charlie's words kept going around in my head.

It was in this state of mind that I went back to Seattle that weekend and started work again. Needless to say, the chief was not happy about how irresponsibly I had acted. And I was standing in his office, getting yelled at and taking it all in utter silence, when Mike Newton walked in and stood up for me. I stared at the side of his face in shock while he explained to the chief that I was going through a "personal crisis" and that I had been an exemplary employee until this recent "tragedy". The chief eased up on me and let me off with a warning about informing the hospital of such things in the future before I decided to take off on my own. Mike led me out of the chief's office with a hand on the small of my back.

Once we were outside, he dragged me to the staff room and poured each of us a cup of coffee as we sat down on the table in the corner.

He sat there waiting for me to say something for a few minutes but finally gave up.

"Jesus Christ, Izzy. Look at you!"

I frowned slightly and looked down at myself.

"What's wrong with how I look?" I said wryly.

"You look like you just came off the street, for god's sake. When was the last time you took a shower?"

I frowned again as I ran my hand consciously through my hair. "Yesterday?"

He closed his eyes and took a deep calming breath. "Look, Renee told me what happened. She explained your situation to me when I called her to warn you about the chief threatening to fire you. And before you can get mad about that, she only told me because she was hoping I could explain a little to the chief and buy you some more time to stay in Jacksonville."

I tried to rein in my glare, but it was hard.

"What exactly did she tell you?"

"That you just went through a painful situation with a guy you like." He said with a soft expression. Thank god. Now I didn't have to kill my mother anymore. She didn't tell him much, or any details. She _was_ just trying to buy me more time.

"Look, the point is that I know. And I understand that you're having a hard time. But you can't just lose everything you've worked for until now for some guy."

He looked a little uncomfortable as he probably thought of what he was saying. _Yeah, thank you. Glad to see that your memory is still intact. _

"I know things have been…weird…between us for a while. But you were my friend first and foremost. And I can't let you do this to yourself and just sit back and watch. There is too much potential in you."

He sighed exasperatedly and leaned back a little in his chair.

"Yes we were friends, but being your senior, I also guided you in your work and career and I have seen you flourish here. I had an amazing time teaching you and training you because you are extremely good at what you do. And I feel like it would be a colossal waste if you just let it all slip because of some guy while I sit back and watch. Let's just say, the part of me that was your friend has a problem with letting that happen. I won't let that happen."

I looked at Mike as if I was seeing him for the first time. He was a much better person than I ever gave him credit for. At a moment when I was going through a hard time he was revoking our friendship and trying to take care of me in his own way. I sighed and looked down at my hands on my lap.

"He is not 'some guy'." I whispered. Mike smiled sadly and leaned forward, placing his hands on the table.

"I figured. It would take a hell of a lot to knock you out bad enough so that Isabella Swan would stop caring about her career."

I kept staring at my hands.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked slowly.

I shook my head from side to side.

He nodded understandingly and leaned forward a bit more, looking at me softly.

"Will you at least let me help you through this?"

I looked up at him with wide eyes. "Why would you do that?"

He looked hurt. "Isabella, we had some misunderstandings. But I never stopped caring for you as a friend. I have always loved you, girlie."

I looked down at my lap again and frowned. "I wasn't very nice to you, Mike. I blamed you for things that were caused by my own immaturity."

"And I'm your friend so I understand that. You were hurt by my words. And I told you this before too: I take full responsibility for my part in that whole thing."

He then held up his hand over the table for me to shake.

"What do you say? Friends again?"

I felt tears springing to my eyes at how kind he was to me at that moment. He reminded me of the reason I became friends with him in the first place. And since Mike knew me and he knew that I would hate to create a scene in the staff room he wrinkled his nose and broke the tension with this next words.

"Besides, judging from how horrible you smell, I'd say you really need a friend to at least tell you when to shower."

And he really kept his words. In the first weeks after I got back, he made sure I didn't get too many back to back shifts and picked up after my slack when I would zone out. He was there for me without being overbearing. And I was grateful.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

_April_

As time passed, the pain changed character. It went from having a sharp and all consuming quality to a dull ache that throbbed inside me. I carried it with me everywhere I went, but I was able to push it to the background as I attended rounds, conversed with colleagues, bought groceries and carried out the basics of living.

The thing is, my life had taken on a dreamlike quality and I lived it in a haze. In the past few months that I had spent with the Cullens in LA, my subconscious had pictured a whole different life for me in my future. It was no longer a life of struggle that was going to be spent focusing on building a career in the rains of Seattle. It was a life in the sunshine of California, a life surrounded by the giggles of a little girl who loved me from her heart and who I loved back, one where a caring father figure was always there to guide me and shower me with blessings. One filled with the laughter of dear friends. And most importantly, one where the arms of love surrounded me and where I spent my life protecting him from the evils of the world.

It was only when the dream was taken away from me that I realized just how much I had wanted it. Craved it. Needed it. That life of my dreams had been so important that my career had easily taken a backseat. So now that I was only left with a life where being a doctor was my only role in life, it felt empty and pointless.

I went on carrying out the basics of everyday life but I did all of it without any passion or motivation or real interest. I kept living this makeshift life of mine because there was no other choice really.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

_May_

And as time passed on, another facet of my mind became clearer to me. As the haze of my initial agony wore off, I realized that I was waiting for him. I know I had no right to ask for such a thing, but how could I possibly rein in something like hope? How does one go about telling your heart: "No, you can't hope because you were bad and you deserve this."

So, in the heart of my hearts, against all odds, I hoped that he would come for me. I hoped that he would see my side of it, even if a little bit. I hoped that he would still be angry with me, but he would see that I wasn't trying to hurt him. I hoped that once his own initial haze of anger would wear off, he would remember my words to him and somehow my love for him would outweigh my mistake of not telling him about his mother earlier on.

As the weeks kept passing by, I tried to stop myself from this line of thought, but there was no use. There was never any word from him and I had been permanently discarded.

And with time, I realized that I didn't believe what I had said to my Dad on the porch weeks ago. I agreed that Edward had a right to be angry with me. I accepted my part of the blame in every way. But, I was, in fact, angry with him too. An e-mail that Jasper had sent me the week after I left LA kept going around in my head.

In the e-mail, Jasper had first told me that he had talked to Carlisle, who told him about what happened. Then he had said that he knew I must be worried about Sophie, but that she was alright and was staying with him and Alice until Edward cooled down. Then he had ended the e-mail with the following words:

"I don't necessarily agree with your choices, but I have to give you something. Your heart was in the right place, Izzy-boo. It always was. Even if what you did ended up hurting Edward, that wasn't what your intention was. And you were the one that came out with the truth willingly, no one forced it out of you. I see that and Carlisle sees that, and we don't hold it against you because at the end of the day you were respecting Lizzie's wishes.

And even if he doesn't see it now because he can't see anything beyond his anger, Edward will also see it at some point. And I know Edward. He has spent his entire life smelling paper flowers and becoming furious every single time he realized they were fake. And he is so used to having to react that way to the fake ones that when he came across the real thing, he mistook it for one of the fake ones and discarded it without giving it a second sniff, which would have showed him that there was more to this one. Yes it has its flaws, but it's the real thing, nonetheless. The only real one that Edward has ever come across. And I fear the day Edward will realize this, because his grief at that loss is going to be much bigger than the one he is going through now."

The more I thought about Jasper's words, the more agitated I became. Whereas until now I had only felt guilty about the pain I had caused Edward and the rest of his family, now all of a sudden there was a whole new dimension to my anguish.

Back when I had first read his e-mail, I just got angry with Jasper and ignored his words, but they made more sense to me now. Edward had every right to be angry that I kept the secret, yes. But not even once did he try to see my side of it. He immediately made the conclusion that I was doing that to hurt him, which was the opposite of what I was trying to do. Even after all we had been through, he had immediately put me in the category of a bad person, although I had never given him any reason to think that way about me during the entire time we knew each other. He could have disagreed with that particular decision of mine and been angry about it, but he didn't need to discard me completely without even giving me a chance to explain my side of things to him properly.

I understood at the heat of that moment and especially because he had just found out of Lizzie's death that he didn't know better. But how about now? After so many weeks had passed? Didn't he think even once that I might not be a bad person after all? And if he did, wouldn't he have tried to reach out to me somehow?

I couldn't reach out to him, that was for sure. His last words to me still rang out loud and clear in my head and I would listen to them. I knew Edward, and I knew that it would never do me any good if I tried to reach him and explain things, unless he initiated the contact. It would only drive him further away.

So I did the only thing I could. I worked non-stop. I ignored Mike's advice and took every single shift I could. I drowned myself in work because it was the only way to numb myself. I hated going to my apartment because it was only in the quiet of my home that the tears sprang to life again. So I tried to stay away from it as much as possible, and even when at home, I always put on music at the top volume to drown out my own thoughts. My neighbors complained but I ignored them.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

_June_

I sighed exasperatedly as I went around my kitchen, getting a can of soda from the fridge to drink with my take out, while holding the phone to my ear with one hand.

"Alice, please. I don't feel like doing this right now. I just worked a 48 hour shift and the only thing I want to do is to get some form of nourishment into me then flop down in bed and sleep for two weeks."

"Well, there. That's exactly what I am talking about. Isabella, you are working like a crazy person! You practically live in that hospital. You only come home to shower and sleep. Which, by the way, I'm sure they can find ways for you to do at the hospital if you tried hard enough. Then you'd not need to come home at all!" Her voice got angry at the end and I sighed again.

It was the same thing every Friday. After I had settled back to Seattle and started working, I had made it a point to call Alice and Jasper every Friday evening and let them know that I was fine, while I asked them about how everyone else in LA was. It was something that Alice had insisted on and I had relented all too willingly. I don't know how I would stay sane if I didn't hear them tell me every week that things were alright with everyone.

They told me about Sophie mostly. They told me all about their weekends spent with her and the games they played and the things Sophie said. Alice once asked if I wanted her to call some time when Sophie was there so I could talk to her, but I refused vehemently. Jasper had told me what Edward told Sophie about my sudden disappearance, and I would never try to get in the way of her coping with this situation for my own selfish need of hearing her voice. As far as I was concerned, I would be fine as long as she was fine.

"Are you even listening to me? Isabella!" Alice's high pitched shriek made me lose my train of thought and I quickly tried to think of what she had been talking about.

"Umm…what did you say, again?" I asked with a scrunched up face because I knew she was going to get pissed now.

"I asked if you are still going to the opening of the new wing at Met next week."

I rolled my eyes. Not this again. "Yes, Alice. My answer isn't going to change from the last thousand times I told you so."

"And Dr. Jerkface is going too?"

"Alice! I have told you over and over again about how kind he has been to me these past few months. Please, please, please stop calling him that."

"Whatever. Just 'cause he's nice to you now doesn't take away the fact that he was an asshole before."

"Alice…" I started but she cut me off.

"I'm just happy that you are going somewhere that takes you away from work for a while. It is completely ridiculous how much time…" And with that I spaced out again. I let her ramble on about how unhealthy working so much was for me and the risks I was putting my health in.

"Yes Alice. It's awful to work so much. Yes, I will try to rein myself in. And yes, I am going there with Mike. And no, not as his date. For the billionth time, he is my friend." I said once she was done with her rant.

"Why are you telling me that? I didn't ask you anything about that."

"Not yet. But that's usually the next thing you ask me."

Then she went on a rant about me reading too much into things she tells me and finally when she got bored she handed over the phone to Jasper. I sighed a breath of relief.

"How is Sophie?" I asked him after we had talked for a few minutes. He told me all about how she started going to day care and that Dr. Jackson thinks it is a sign of improvement that she only has had two more panic attacks since the last one in March.

"And is Carlisle taking his meds?" I asked.

"Yeah I think so. Don't tell me to ask him though. The guys in the office already think I'm enough of a pussy with Alice bossing me around and dressing me like I'm her doll. Asking the Pops about his meds just makes me look even weaker ya'know."

I heard a whoosh in the air and then a muted thud. "Ouch!" Jasper yelled.

"I don't boss you around, you jerk!" Alice chirped in the background.

I chuckled at them and then stayed silent for a long time and kept holding the phone to my ears. Jasper and I were both quiet and he finally broke the silence.

"He is doing fine."

I felt the pain in my chest sharpen at the mention of him and it was the same every time. It was hell having to hear about him, but I couldn't help it. I had to know that he was ok.

I let out a long sigh and said goodbye to Jasper and Alice.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

When Mike suggested this trip to New York, I had initially refused vehemently. He was shocked because going to museums all over the place used to be our thing and I was never one to turn down the arts. Finally when he sensed that there was more to this he pushed me to spill and I told him about the last time I had been to New York and who I had been there with. Mike didn't know much details of my time with the Cullens, but he did know that there was a guy I had been in love with and that I had done something bad so that he would not want to be with me anymore.

When I told him that it would be too painful for me to go to New York, he insisted that we go just for that reason. He said that facing it would allow me to start letting go of some of that pain and then he had gone and purchased tickets for the both of us without telling me. He said it was a birthday present for the birthdays he missed while we weren't friends because of his, and I quote, "assholeness". I cursed myself for somehow always ending up with such pushy friends and packed my bags for our weekend trip.

As I arrived in New York, I all but had a panic attack in the airport, even though I had been prepping myself for this for weeks. Then I cried in the cab ride back to the hotel while Mike held me to his chest. Being here brought back my pain afresh and I really didn't know how to stop myself.

It took me a long time but after a long bath at the hotel I finally relaxed. Mike and I stayed in my room watching cartoons on TV that afternoon and then I spent the next day walking around the malls while Mike met up with some friends. He had begged me to come with him but I told him that I really wasn't in the mood to meet people and would really just like to lose myself in shopping for a while.

I picked out a purple silk dress for the museum event that evening and Mike and I arrived there a little late because we got stuck in traffic. But once we started walking around the place and looking at all the renaissance art, I felt myself relax and I was glad that Mike had insisted we come. I told him as much and he gave me a ridiculous "I told you so" speech that made me reach out and whack his head. He just laughed and fixed his hair and hugged me quickly, telling me that he was glad I had come with him, even though I was a major party pooper with the sour mood.

Just as Mike pulled his arms back from me and we turned to walk to the other room filled with paintings, I saw them. There was a small group of people standing a few feet away from us and we came face to face with them as we turned.

_They_ turned towards us at the same time we turned towards them. None of us had been aware of each others' presence until that moment.

Looking right at Mike and I were Carlisle and Edward.

Carlisle was wearing a dark suit with a dark shirt, looking as handsome as ever, holding a drink in his hand. His face was a mix of surprise and caution and worry as he stared at me.

And Edward. My Edward. Edward, who I had broken. Edward, whose eyes I didn't dare meet, because I was afraid of seeing the hatred that was sure to be there. I was taking deep breaths to steady myself while I took in his appearance. To everyone else he would've looked just fine. An accomplished businessman who was well dressed, with a stubble and eyes that were a little tired from all the work and travelling he did. But I knew better. I could see the rest. He had a stubble that showed that he probably hadn't shaved for days. There were slightly dark circles under his eyes, not ones that showed he hadn't slept at all last night, but rather an accumulative lack of sleep over months. His navy Armani suit that once fit him in every single angle of his body sat loose on his shoulders. He had lost weight. He looked haggard, beaten and defeated. To everyone else he just looked disinterested.

My mind was a cacophony of emotions as I once again came face to face with Edward. One minute I wanted to run to him and hold him in my arms and kiss him. Another minute, I wanted to fall on his feet and beg him for forgiveness. And the next minute, I wanted to slap him for hating me.

I felt my arms and shoulders go cold and my head felt a little dizzy. This couldn't be happening. After all this time, we couldn't meet because of another fucking coincidence. But before I could lose myself any further Mike spoke and made me sober up.

"Oh, Mr. Cullen! What a pleasure to see you here, sir. Those pictures of you in the papers don't do you any justice. I am Dr. Mike Newton, Head of Cardiothoracic Surgery at Seattle Mercy. This is Dr. Isabella Swan."

The gentleman that Mike was, he quickly reached out his hand for Carlisle to shake. After his initial shock wore off, Carlisle reached out and took his hand as he smiled politely.

"Dr. Newton, it's nice to meet you. This is my son, Edward. And we actually already know Isabella quite well. It's nice to see you again, dear." His eyes softened at the end and I felt tears springing to my eyes as the sound of Carlisle's loving voice enveloped me after so long. The moment was broken by Edward abruptly stomping off, away from the group. Someone else started saying something to Carlisle and he warily picked up the conversation, but his eyes kept flitting to mine repeatedly, and I all but kept staring at him.

I excused myself after a while to use the ladies' room, because I needed to get a grip on myself. I hated the fact that the make-up wouldn't allow me to splash some water on my face. Instead, I just went inside one of the stalls and sat there for a long time, hugging myself and getting my breathing under control. I didn't emerge again until Mike started calling my cell phone in panic because I had been gone for so long.

When I finally came out, Mike kept asking me repeatedly if I was ok and if I wanted to go home, because apparently I looked "pale as a ghost". I was just about to tell him that I wanted to go home when I caught sight of Edward again.

Carlisle and Edward were standing in a corner where Edward was glaring angrily at Carlisle and growling something under his breath, while Carlisle held his shoulder and tried to calm him.

I realized it would be childish of me to leave like that and decided to go and talk to them before we left. I excused myself from Mike.

I started walking towards them and Edward's eyes widened for a second as he saw me approach. Then he slammed down the drink in his hand on the table next to him and walked off without so much as another glance in my direction. I felt tears stinging my eyes but just swallowed repeatedly to try to make them stay back. His rejection hurt every single time and just as much as the first time.

I willed the tears away as I watched his retreating form leaving the room, and finally turned my eyes to Carlisle again, who was watching me with a sad face. I tried to smile slightly and walked up to him.

"It really is good to see you, Isabella." He said with a sincere expression that made the tears spring back to life and it took every bit of willpower in me to hold them back. I quickly changed the subject.

"I was surprised to see you here. I asked Alice last week…to make sure you guys weren't in town around the same time. I could swear she told me you'd be in LA."

He chuckled lightly. "Seems like Alice had plans of her own. She knows we are closing a very important deal here in New York this week and she insisted we come to this opening to get some time to relax. She actually bought the tickets and had them delivered to us this morning."

I shook my head in disbelief. Alice and I were going to have a very long talk as soon as I had the chance. What the hell was she trying to pull!

I stood there talking to Carlisle about his health and Sophie for a few more minutes, but I kept getting nervous thinking of Edward. I didn't want to still be talking to Carlisle when he got back because I didn't want a scene to be created here. When the conversation winded down and I realized I would soon have to say goodbye to Carlisle again I felt the pain inside my chest rise to the surface. How could I love this man, who wasn't even related to me by blood, so much? The thought of not knowing when I will see him again made a flash of pain rip through me and I quickly looked away from his intense eyes.

Carlisle then completely took me by surprise as his face suddenly twisted and he quickly pulled me into his arms.

"Oh, darling." He whispered as he gently ran his hand down my head. "I've missed you so much. More than I can tell you."

I pulled back from him and looked at him with wide eyes. "Even though you hate me?"

Now his eyes widened in surprise. "Why would I hate you?"

"Carlisle, you must hate me. _I _hate me." I said in a soft but incredulous voice.

His face hardened and his eyes tightened. "Isabella, you need to understand something very clearly. You are not to be held responsible for my wife's ridiculous wishes. Keeping her truth a secret from her family was completely and totally her decision. You have merely respected that. I will not shoot the messenger. Any problems I have with this situation, I will take up with her and not an innocent girl who she put in a difficult position."

I took in a sharp breath as his words registered. Could he really mean that? How could he possibly not blame me?

Carlisle saw the doubt in my eyes and continued as he reached out a hand and stroked my head. "You have loved my family in so many different ways. You loved my wife when she was alone and sick. When she didn't have her own family to love her. You loved my grandchild when she asked for it. And you loved my son even though he was broken in pieces. You were a true friend to my other children. All that love you have given my family, and the only thing we have given you in return has been heartache. Lizzie hurt you when she left you a few years ago. And we hurt you when we let you go a few months ago. And here you stand in front of me, only a shell of the bright ray of sunshine that was the girl I knew; the one that lit up my entire house. All because you tried to love the two parts of my family that hated each other, and because you took the blow from each side. How can I possibly ever feel anything but gratitude and penance and utter love towards you, darling?"

I looked away from him as my tears spilled over and quickly wiped them away. This wasn't what I was after. I didn't want him to say those things to me right now. It was all too much. I quickly reached up and hugged him tightly before excusing myself to go to the ladies' room.

When I emerged from the restroom this time, Mike quickly found me and ushered me towards a group of surgeons that he had come across. We stood with them for a long time chatting about health care politics and I tried my best to not incessantly search the room for _him_. Even though I hadn't seen him for a long time now, his presence lingered in the space around me and I took in shuddering breaths every time I realized that I was standing in the same building as him.

There was so much I wanted to say to him. So much I wanted him to say to me. But I knew that none of it could ever get said. I had known as soon as I had seen the intense hatred in his eyes when he first spotted me.

"Oh my god! Is that Johnson?" Mike suddenly bellowed out from beside me, and before I had the chance to look at who he was talking about he had excused us from the group of surgeons and with a hand on the small of my back led me to a new group of men, among whom stood Johnson, a friend of Mike's from college.

I froze as soon as I realized that Edward and Carlisle were also standing with the same group of people. Carlisle stood on the opposite side of the group from where Mike was, while Edward stood towards the side, with two men between him and me.

Johnson and Mike talked animatedly for a while as I stood there holding my breath and trying to look as normal as I could, while in such close proximity to Edward. I didn't dare look at him though but I could feel every single movement of his body even though there were two other people between us. Just as I was wondering why he still hadn't stomped off like before, Carlisle caught my eye and shot me a reassuring smile. I tried to smile back, but I'm sure it came out more like a grimace.

"Hey, Mike, have you met Mr. Cullen? He is a major contributor to the Museum's funds." Johnson said as he looked quite pleased with himself at being acquainted with Carlisle Cullen.

"Yeah, we met earlier." Mike said with a smile towards Carlisle then turned to Johnson again.

"And this is Dr. Isabella Swan, my colleague from Seattle. And of course, my dear friend."

As he said this Mike smiled down at me softly and put an arm on my back.

I don't know why, but I looked at Edward then. Maybe because I knew him in my bones and I anticipated his next action. Or rather, what would have been his next action if we were back in the days when he used to feel something other than hatred towards me.

And I was surprised, because he did just that.

Edward's eyes immediately snapped towards Mike's hand on my back. Then he slowly looked up at Mike like he was going to kill him. His nostrils flared and his fists clenched on his sides. I looked at Carlisle and he surreptitiously put a hand on Edward's shoulder as his body moved forward. Another group of people joined our little circle and everyone started talking animatedly as new introductions were being made. Edward and I were the only ones in the group that remained quiet and we avoided looking at each other.

And because Mike was an idiot, this time when he was introducing me to someone, he put an arm around my shoulder. Before I could even register what had happened, I felt someone grabbing my arm. I turned to see a pair of furious green eyes glaring down at me.

Without so much as even looking at Mike or acknowledging anyone else in the group, Edward just yanked me by my arm and dragged me across the room, out the door to the balcony overlooking the street outside. The balcony was not lit by any other lights other than the ones coming from the city outside and there was no one other than us out there. Edward slammed the door shut behind him and turned to me with fierce eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing with him?" He all but snarled.

Was he for _real_? With everything else that lay between him and me, _Mike_ was what had finally prompted him to speak to me?

My fury and indignation at his actions knew no bounds.

I refused to look at him and turned to leave. This man was impossible.

He came and grabbed my arm again, preventing me from reaching for the door. "I asked you a fucking question."

"That I chose not to answer." I said in a calm voice without looking at him.

His face tightened even more and he lowered his voice menacingly. It was somehow scarier than the snarling. "What are you doing with him, Isabella?"

I puffed out a breath and turned to face him. I knew he wouldn't let this go until I answered him so I bit the bullet. "What does it look like, Edward? I am looking at artwork."

"Why the _fuck_ is he touching you?" He said before the last word escaped my lips.

_None of your business since you couldn't care less about me_, I thought in my head.

"He is my friend." I said out loud.

"He fucking broke you." He looked at me with disgust, like he couldn't believe I could do that to myself. I had really had enough of this. I looked him square in the eye and spoke in a cold voice.

"He's not the only one."

His eyes flashed and he went red with indignation. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me." I kept my eyes steadily fixed on his.

His nostrils flared. "_I_ broke _you_? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, Edward. I am not _fucking_ kidding you. As much as you might like to believe it, you are not the only one with a heart around here and not _all_ the rest of us are ice cold bitches that don't feel anything."

"_You_ betrayed _me_!" He yelled and kept blinking in astonishment.

There was that word again.

"I kept a secret because I made a promise." I said with gritted teeth.

"I don't fucking care what your reasons are. You fucking lied!"

"I didn't have a choice."

He quickly grabbed my arm again and his face was so close to mine I could feel the angry puffs of air escaping his mouth. "You always had a choice. Don't fucking say that. There is always a choice."

"It wasn't my secret to reveal, Edward." My voice was soft, but stern.

"Oh, really? Whose was it then? _Hers_?" He spat and stepped back from me as he released my arm.

"Yes, exactly. It was _her_ secret that _she_ chose to keep from her family. And she made me promise to never look you up or tell you anything in case I ever met you guys. I was keeping a promise. I wasn't out to _get_ you."

He laughed a humorless laugh. "Of course she fucking did. The only fucking thing that was good in my life after she fucked it up, she tried to keep from me too."

I ignored that and continued. This was my only chance to tell him this because I was pretty sure this would be the last time we would be talking.

"It wasn't my secret to share. It was her decision and no matter what I thought about it, I promised her that I would respect it."

He took another step back from me. His eyes lost the fire and hurt seeped through. I immediately wished that he would go back to the anger. His anger I could deal with. But his pain at a moment when I wasn't allowed to comfort him was too much for me to handle.

"What about what we had? Did that mean absolutely nothing to you?" He asked.

"Of course it did!" I all but shrieked.

"But not enough for you to tell me the truth?"

I went quiet and closed my eyes as I tried to find words to explain. He spoke again before I did.

"See, that's the fucking thing. Right there. It would have been one thing if you had just lied, or just kept all that shit to yourself. If it would only have been that, I could have lived with it. But what you did was so much worse. Because when all is said and done, at the end of the day, you fucking chose the woman who ruined my life over me."

I looked at him for a long moment in disbelief. Did he really not see it? _How could he be so stupid?_

I felt my knees go weak and had to sit down on the bench behind me before speaking.

"Don't you see Edward? That's the exact opposite of what I did that day."

I waited for him to see my point but he just kept looking at me dejectedly. I took a deep breath and started explaining.

"When I met you guys, at first, I chose my best friend's wishes over her family who I had just happened to come across by some twisted joke of fate. And I had no doubts in my mind about not revealing her secrets to you guys, because you were only an extension of her and my loyalties lay first and foremost with her. And more than anything else, this was something she chose to keep from _her own_ family. I was in no position to contend that decision.

But then…But then I fell in love with your family. And you became my friend. And I made connections to you independent of her. And something that was so black and white to me became gray. Because my loyalties started to dwindle as I got closer to you. I suffered every single day, feeling trapped between the weight of her promise and how adamant she was about it, and just telling you all of it. And if I didn't tell you, I was risking losing not only my own connection to you guys, but the change in all of you, the happiness in Sophie and the peace in you, the laughter in your house. It would all come crashing down. I couldn't win either way. I would betray someone I loved no matter which way I went."

I closed my eyes as the tears spilled over now.

"But then, just when I thought things couldn't get any more complicated, they did. _You_ became…more. Everything."

I took a deep breath and wiped my face. Then I looked up at Edward's eyes as I spoke with a determined voice.

"And the day I chose to reveal her secrets to you because I broke down at the sight of you sitting on those stairs and begging me like you begged her….That day, Edward Cullen, I chose _you_ over the woman who meant everything to me and made me into who I am today, and whom I owed my life to. I broke my promise to her because I didn't want to break you. I chose _you_."

Edward's face wore a blank expression. He was stunned into silence. He opened his mouth but no sounds came out. But it hadn't gone soft like I had hoped. He didn't understand. He hadn't seen my point like I had hoped he would. He just stood there and stared at me. And _this_ hurt the most of all. More than everything that had happened in the last year.

Even after I had explained, even after I told him my side of things, he still couldn't see it.

Carlisle could see it, Jasper could see it, Alice could see it. My parents could see it. Hell, even Lizzie could probably see it. But _he_ couldn't see it. And he was the only one out of all those people that I had prayed with everything in me to love me enough to see it.

I shuddered with sobs that tried to break out of my chest and I felt the ground under me finally starting to swallow me whole. At that moment, I hated everything around me. I hated that I had loved Lizzie so much. I hated that I loved him even more. I hated that he couldn't see it. I hated me for doing this to myself over and over again.

There was only so much I could take. I threw him one more pained and disgusted look and said one more sentence before storming out of the place. I was going to set myself free this time.

"Get the fuck out of my life Edward Cullen."

**A/N: 3 chappies in a week! That's gotta be some sorta record, right? Am I making up for my MIA period or what? Lol.**

**You kids can blame the kiddies on Twitter for the "moral support" in getting this one out so fast. I had no idea it would be this much fun to interact with my readers that way! So yeah, come and see me there and join the girlies in egging me on if you want fast updates. Although, maybe not too many of you. I mean, I DO have a RL after all. I can't **_**just**_** write all the time. Lol. **

**Anyways, I tweet at raindrops855, for those of you that can handle the craziness. **

**And, I put up an amazingly insightful review of the last chappy by YankeeDiva on the site. Go read it if you hate Isabella's guts…she'll make your mind tickle with some amazing arguments.**

**Finally, I do realize that I will get some more death threats because of the continuing angst…but before you get your pitchforks and hatchets out, lemme just say one thing…the shore is closer than you think it is. :)**

**Raindrops *hearts* Jadalulu 4ever. You should know that by now!**


	26. Awakening

_**Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time.  
**__ ~Deborah Chaskin_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Edward**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

It was the day after the opening at the Met and I was standing by the panoramic windows in our New York apartment, trying to enjoy the motherfucking view. But some people had a problem with leaving me the fuck alone.

"Edward?"

"What!" I snapped.

"Did you hear what I just said?"

I inhaled a short breath and let it out quickly. I was going to count to ten before I threw something at the wall to make him stop talking to me.

"Yes, I heard." I said with gritted teeth. I had no idea what he had said, but I didn't give a fuck.

"So. Are we, then?" Dad kept talking. Just leave me the fuck alone!

"Are we what?"

He let out a loud sigh. "I have already repeated myself three times. Are we going home this afternoon?"

"Sure. Whatever."

He paused for a long time. I was hoping he was going to grant me my wish and leave me the fuck alone. I was an idiot.

"Edward, if you want to stay a bit longer and…"

I turned away from the window of our New York apartment and threw him a warning glare before stomping away to my room. "Tell them to bring the chopper around. I'll be ready in an hour."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"Sir? Mr. Cullen?"

If this bitch didn't stop yammering in my ear…

"Sir?"

"Whaat?" I yelled out and she yelped and jumped back a little. Dad threw me a curious look from his seat across the aisle of the jet.

"May I take your order for dinner?" She said in between little pants.

"Did I fucking say I was hungry?" I glared at her then put on some headphones to keep the goddamn noises out. I needed my head to be fucking clear of all this outside noise so I could fucking think.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"Edwaaaaaaaard!" Sophie squealed as she leapt into my arms the moment Dad and I entered the house.

"_Bonsoir, princesse. Tu me manque_." I told her I missed her while kissing her head as she hugged me tight.

"_Moi aussi_. Hi Grandpa." Sophie said, while she rested her head on my shoulder and looked at Dad.

"Hi, darling. I missed you a lot too." He leaned down and kissed her temple. She smiled at him before looking up at me with excited eyes.

"Do you want to see the picture I drew for you while you were gone? It has a rainbow _and_ a pumpkin!"

"Sophie, Edward must be tired from his trip, sweetie. Why don't you go and show Uncle Jazzy first?" Alice said as she came out of the kitchen while wiping her hands on a towel. She reached up and kissed Dad then threw a stiff nod my direction. Wow, the Diablo was being genuinely nice to me! Wonder what the fuck is up with her.

"I'm not tired." I said to no one in particular as I walked up the stairs with Sophie in my arms, going straight to her room.

Once there, she jumped out of my arms and sprinted for her desk where her drawing was. I sat down on the floor by her bed, with my legs crossed under me, and unfastened the tie from around my neck. Then I threw the tie and my jacket on the floor and opened my arms to Sophie so she could climb back on to show me the drawing. She totally ignored me and sat down opposite to me while animatedly starting to describe the drawing she made.

I looked at the painting and back at her and put the biggest smile on my face I could manage as I let her tell me all about…wait, a _blue_ rainbow? I squinted my eyes a little to get a better look at the drawing but she kept waving it in the air and bringing it really close to my face so I could see better.

She kept talking animatedly about god knows what as she got up and ran to get her crayons. She sat back down in front of me with them and started drawing over the picture she had already drawn. I sat there, with my hands on my lap, looking down at her drawing, as she chattered away while she drew.

_I chose you._

I closed my eyes immediately, as soon as the voice flew around in my head. Like a goddamn record player. It had been going on since I had heard the words yesterday. Running in my head. Over and over and over again. Three words. Three motherfucking words.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes again, bringing my focus back to what Sophie was saying.

"So I told her, 'No, you cannot eat the shoe.' But she doesn't want to listen to me. And she tried to eat it anyways."

I frowned as I tried to keep up. "Who tried to eat the shoe?"

"Rosie!" Sophie said exasperatedly. Oh, right. The goddamn vacuum cleaner.

"So she tried to eat my pink shoe, you know, the ones with the glitter on them?" She looked up to see if I knew. I nodded. All her fucking shoes were pink with glitter on them.

"But it was too big for her mouth. So it got stuck. And then I told her, 'See, Rosie. I told you. You have to listen when the grown ups tell you something. And I am the grown up here. You have to listen to me.' Is the rainbow better now?"

She suddenly thrust the picture at me again. She had added some pink squiggly lines next to the blue rainbow.

"It's beautiful, princesse. Why is the rainbow blue?"

She looked really annoyed now. Shit. "Edward! I already told you once!"

"Pardon, chérie. One more time?"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. It's because the blue rainbow matches with my head ribbon. See?" She pointed to the ribbon that Alice had pleated into her long hair. "Do you remember what I told you about the pumpkin or did you forget that one too?" She asked me with a raised eyebrow. Double shit. I wasn't paying attention to that one either.

There was a light knock on the door, even though it was open. Both of us looked up and saw Alice standing there. Fuck me, I don't think I had ever been this glad to see the little devil. "Dinner's ready, guys."

She threw me a weird look then walked away.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"As you can see here, our turnover for this last quarter…." Ben's voice continued to tell the board of directors about the revenues and I took in a deep breath and leaned back on my chair, trying to pay attention to what he was saying. It was hard though. His voice kept pissing me off. It had been three days since we had come back from New York and morning meetings were starting to become the bane of my existence. Not surprising since I had slept for about two seconds every fucking night for the past three days.

Jenny came in with a tray of coffee and cinnamon buns after a few minutes and started serving everyone. When she approached me I told her I didn't want anything that morning. I also whispered to her to try to clear my schedule for the afternoon if possible. Her eyes went wide and she gave me a shocked look. I just shrugged and told her I wasn't feeling well.

Daren Finch, one of the board members, leaned towards me and asked me to clarify a point Ben was making. I just glared at him and told him to ask the fucker that was making the presentation.

I ran my hands through my hair repeatedly and kept shifting in my seat. My clothes were too goddamn tight. I pulled on my necktie and loosened it. Then when I ran out of things to do, I put my pen on the dark wood conference table and started spinning it around, while keeping half an ear open to Ben. The pen was silver and it shone brightly against the wood. It would go around a few rotations, then I would make it start spinning again as soon as it slowed down.

"_I was keeping a promise."_

I closed my eyes immediately, as the sound of her voice reverberated in the entire conference room. Of course, as it had been ever since I came back from New York, no one other than me actually heard the goddamn voice. And it kept getting louder too as the days rolled on.

"_I wasn't out to get you."_

The gentle tilt of her voice was in the room again and I opened my eyes to see everyone else in the room. Focusing on the details of my mundane life was the only way to ignore it.

"_I chose you."_

My jaw clenched and I closed my eyes tightly, as those three words repeated themselves to me for a motherfucking millionth time in my head.

"Edward. Edward?" I was snapped out of my personal hell by the sound of Ben's raised voice that ran clearly in the now silent room.

I looked around me to see that every single fucker at the table was staring at me expectantly. Wait, when did their attention turn to me?

I glared at Ben. "What?" I snapped.

"The figures? You told me yesterday that you'd be bringing them to the meeting today."

Damn it. I did say that. "I don't have them today. You'll get them tomorrow." I said in a cold voice.

"We would actually need to look at those before the meeting with Hanson this afternoon." Daren said as he threw me a disapproving look. That fucker! I clenched my fists and opened my mouth to tell him exactly what I thought of that when Dad interrupted.

"It's alright, Daren. Jenny can e-mail the figures to the board before we are done here. Don't worry about it, Edward."

I looked at Dad and he was giving me _that_ look. The one that said that he knew something was going on with me and he was offering his assistance. My clothes felt even tighter and my chest felt heavy. I needed air.

"I'm done here." I got up and stormed out of the room, leaving everyone but Dad with a shocked expression on their faces.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

During dinner that night, Dad and Jasper chattered away about the deal we closed in New York, while Alice and Sophie talked about god-knows-what. They were all talking all at the same time, but for the life of me, I couldn't keep up with a single conversation. My mind was like motherfucking Grand Central Station on a Friday before a holiday weekend. The tape kept playing on repeat.

_It was something between her and her family._

_It wasn't my place to say anything._

_I chose you_

I reached for my glass of wine to calm my thoughts and it slipped out of my hands, shattering with a thousand pieces on the floor.

Sophie yelped and looked terrified. Everyone stopped eating and stared at me. I threw Sophie an apologetic look before leaving the kitchen and going out of the house altogether.

It was late but I went into the woods and walked for a few hours. A million thoughts and images ran through my head and it was easier for the craziness of my thoughts to let free when I was alone. My mind was bombarded with a million contradictions. Who I thought she was when I first met her, who I thought she was when we became friends, then who I thought she was when she told me the truth, and now she claimed that she was the person who was my friend, even with the secret. But how could that be, if she had been lying to me?

I thought and thought about her actions when we spent time together. I tried to think of a moment that would suggest that she was false, that she was betraying my trust. But no matter how much I tried, I couldn't. Except for the moment when she herself revealed her secret, I could only find moments that were genuine and heartfelt and pure. Other than that one goddamn moment, I couldn't find a shard of falseness anywhere in her. I walked around with these thoughts in my head for a long time before going back to the house.

When I came back, I went to the living room and saw Dad, Jasper and Alice animatedly discussing something. All of them fell quiet as soon as I came and then straightened up, with very serious looks on their faces.

"Edward, come in here for a second, son. We want to talk to you."

Super. "What's this? A fucking intervention? Where's the sign?" I smirked as I walked into the living room.

"We want to talk to you about Isabella." Alice said with a no-shit tone. The smirk immediately left my face and I turned around to leave.

"There's nothing to talk about." I said with my back to them, while walking out of the room.

"Ed, come on, man." Jasper jumped up and grabbed my shoulder. I gave him a warning look so he would back off.

"Just talk to us. That's all we're asking."

"Edward, your mood since we have returned from New York has been affecting Sophie. We need to discuss this." Dad said and I sighed. He knew exactly what to say to get my attention.

I brushed Jasper's hand off my shoulder and stomped over to the couch, taking a seat on it in an exaggerated way. "Fine. Talk. This should be fucking interesting."

"I talked to Isabella, Edward. She told me what you talked about in New York." Alice said with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

I felt my ears getting red. How dare she tell Alice about what we talked about! But I wasn't going to give Alice the satisfaction of seeing my irritation. I went for nonchalant. "So the fuck what?"

It was her turn to go red. "So _what_? SO WHAT? Did you even hear a word she said to you, you jerk?"

"Alice, please keep the name calling at bay. Let's all act like adults here." Dad admonished her and I threw him an appreciative glance.

But then the three of them went on looking at me, waiting for me to say something. I was irritated beyond words now.

"Yes, I heard every fucking word she said. What about it?"

"What about it!" Alice screeched and did an annoyed little jump in the air. "Oh my god. You are a MUCH bigger asshole than I give you credit for."

"Alice.." Dad warned again but she was on a roll.

"Really, Edward? I knew you are a jerk, but are you really that heartless? Her words didn't even have a little bit of an effect on you?"

"It's none of your fucking business, Alice. Stay the fuck out of it."

She narrowed her eyes at me and took a step forward. "It is very much my business when you break my best friend into pieces and I have to worry about her day and night."

"What did I do? How the fuck did _I _shatter _her_?" I got up to my feet.

"You didn't even give her a chance to explain herself before you threw her aside like trash!"

"It doesn't fucking matter what she says. She lied. End of story."

"No Edward. Not end of story. Yes, she kept a secret. But she wasn't doing it for the fun of it."

Dad stepped in then. "Edward, she was respecting somebody's last wish. And most importantly, she came forward with the truth herself. No one forced her into it."

"_Because she chose me", _something inside me echoed_. _I ignored it for now.

"We have all accepted it and forgiven her. Even Carlisle has forgiven her Edward!"

"Yeah, well she didn't have _Carlisle_ throw his goddamn heart at her that she just fucking took and…" I couldn't even finish that sentence.

"You did the same thing to her too! She is a zombie! You have taken every bit of life she had inside of her. She poured it out to you and this family and we just cast her aside. And now there is nothing else left in her." Alice's eyes teared up and I looked away from her.

"She did all of that all on her own. All she had to do was tell the truth in the beginning. Why did she fucking have to go around lying all this time?" I said to no one in particular.

Jasper spoke up now. "Would you have let her be around this family if you knew about Lizzie from the start?"

I glared at him but didn't say anything. I didn't need to answer. It was obvious.

"That's one of the things she was afraid of. She knew we were all hurting and she wanted to help. But she also knew that you would never let her if she told the truth."

"Doesn't matter. She should've said it like it was."

This time Dad got up from the couch and came to stand right in front of me. "You would rather never have known her?"

I was quiet.

"How can you possibly get past this?" I asked him honestly.

"Edward, you are only looking at one single detail and clinging to that. You need to look at the entire picture altogether. You need to _know_ her before you judge her decisions."

"Great. I'll just go back and introduce myself." I said dryly.

"You need to know her back then. You need to know why she did the things she did."

Then he dragged me to the library and made me sit down on a chair while he carried over the motherfucking journals _she_ had left.

I glared at him. "I have told you a million times. I have no interest in hearing what she had to say."

Dad brought over the journals anyways and put them in front of me. "I'm not asking you to hear what she has to say for herself. I am asking you to read the parts about Isabella. So you can understand. You asked me how I got past this? You will know after you read these."

I sighed. Once again, he knew how to reel me in. What could possibly be in these fucking pages that would solve anything?

Dad left me on my own and I just sat there staring at the pile for a long time. Things that belonged to _her_. That _her_ hands had touched and tainted. A pile of shit that meant absolutely nothing to me.

I got up and started to leave the library, but my steps halted when I reached the door. Leaving the room and the goddamn journals behind me was the easy option. The one that allowed me to just keep going in the way I had been going until now. But then…what about what Isabella said in New York? And what the rest of my family was saying now? I couldn't just keep on going with all those voices in my head.

Alice said that I broke her. How could I possibly have done that? She was the one that had inflicted pain, not me.

I grabbed my hair as the frustration took over. No, I couldn't just go on like before. Not with all these goddamn voices in my head and with all these questions that remained unanswered.

I turned back and looked at the pile of leather bound pages. Goddamn it.

I took a deep breath and walked back to the coffee table and sat down with my legs crossed under me on the floor beside it. I stared at the pile for a long time again, afraid of finding out whatever the hell was inside.

I wasn't doing this for her. I wasn't going to listening to her thoughts and excuses and reasons. No, I just wanted to know about Isabella and her motivations. And for the sake of my motherfucking sanity, I would do it.

I gingerly picked up the journal on top of the pile and put it on the floor in front of me. I opened it with one finger, and let it fall open to a random page.

My insides burned and I felt bile rise up in my throat as I saw the familiar writing style. I took a deep breath and looked away.

"This isn't about her. This isn't about her. Don't let _her_ do this to you." I kept chanting to myself for a while as I looked anywhere but the journals.

Dad said I needed to read this shit to understand Isabella's side of things better. But reading anything that _she_ had written was giving _her_ a chance. And I didn't want to give her that.

It took me a long time. A lot of talking to myself. A lot of internal battle. But finally, I convinced myself. I was going to do it and not let _her_ get to me like this. For now, I was going to force myself to forget about the person who was writing and only focus on the person I wanted to read about.

I started browsing through the journal, looking for Isabella's name to pop out. It wasn't a difficult task because her name was everywhere. Not the one I knew. The one that Sophie called her: Bella. Once again, bile rose to my throat as I thought of that one similarity between Sophie and _her_. I didn't want Sophie to have any kind of connections to that woman whatsoever. I again took deep breaths and calmed myself enough to continue looking.

I kept looking through it for a long time, but couldn't bring myself to read any of it. I just looked at the pages, at words that popped up once in a while. But I couldn't actually make myself read an entry. I just couldn't.

What was the point? It was what it was. Everything was bullshit. And something inside me didn't want to give _her_ the chance of redeeming herself with her words. No, there was no way I was going to let her do that.

After a very long time, I started to read little snippets of things here and there. The more I read, the more interested I became.

Almost all the entries were about Isabella, and I skipped any that weren't. _She_ must not have much else going on in her life. I read pages after pages of descriptions of the times they spent together and the things they did and talked about.

I was amazed beyond words at the depth of their relationship. I remember Isabella saying she had been her "friend", but I hadn't given that much thought. Now that I was reading descriptions of how they spent their days, it became clear to me just how close they were. She seemed to be Isabella's only close friend and Isabella went straight to the hospital after school during her high school years. She volunteered at the hospital and they played piano together in the hospital music room after _her_ shift was over. They went back home together because she lived in the house next to the Swans, which they had insisted on so they could take care of her on the days when she got very sick.

My stomach turned at the thought of her letting perfect strangers care for her but not her family, but I wasn't going to go down that road now. This wasn't about _her_.

I kept reading about how they spent their Friday nights playing board games or watching movies. I read about Isabella's prom and her graduation. About when she decided to go to college only if _she_ would move to Georgia too. _She_ had secretly wished Isabella's going to college was what would finally let Isabella live her own life away from _her_ and her disease, but Isabella had been adamant.

I read about how Isabella spent every Sunday with _her_ while she was in college. About the boy she had brought over to meet her, and how ecstatic she had been that Isabella had found someone. I also read about how Isabella cried on her shoulder when the motherfucker broke up with her.

I read for hours, shocked beyond words at the depth of their "friendship", or whatever the fuck it was. It wasn't just a casual interaction that I had imagined all this time. The woman had played a major role in Isabella's life. She had taken the lonely teenager with little dreams and opened her eyes to the world and the possibilities that lay there. She had insisted to teach Isabella the piano when she caught her eyeing the thing longingly in the hospital's music room, where _she_ played it for the sick children often. Isabella had been shy and said she wasn't talented enough, but she has insisted and forced her to start learning. She never charged her parents anything for it. She had helped Isabella with her studies and helped her get high grades, and convinced her that she was good enough to go to medical school. It was apparently something that was unthinkable to someone with Isabella's background. Even her parents were unsure about it, thinking medical school was something out of their and Isabella's reach. But once again, she had been adamant and forced Isabella to apply. As I read more, I realized that _she_ wasn't just anyone for Isabella. Isabella would have been a very different person without _her_ influence in her life.

My eyes had started to hurt and my knees were hurting from sitting on the floor for so long. I was casually flipping through one of the journals when something caught my eye and I quickly browsed back to the last page. She had written Isabella's name and mine together.

I quickly started reading that paragraph.

"It's funny that Edward is the one out of the three of you that Isabella worries most about. I remember when I first became close to her, one of the first things that struck me about her was how similar she is to him in some ways. They are such different people, but in a very strange way she reminds me so much of him.

Both of them love with a passion and a singular focus. Do you remember when we got Edward that Polaroid camera for his 11th birthday? How he was obsessed with that thing and wouldn't see anything else for weeks? She is like that too. When she loves something, she invests so much of herself into it. She goes all out and doesn't care of the consequences.

Which is probably why she is so worried about him. She always points out to me in my pictures with Edward that he seems very emotionally connected to me. She recognizes that look of love in his eyes, because she has that in her eyes too. And she understands the pain of that love being shattered, because she can feel it."

I took a deep breath and had to stop reading. I shut the journal closed and sat there with my eyes closed for a long time before gathering the courage to continue again.

"I was so taken by it, I once asked her: 'How about Ephraim? Don't you worry about him?' Do you know what she said? She said: 'But you are always holding on to Ephraim in the pictures. His eyes search other things while you love him. But Edward is holding on to you. And his eyes are only on you. Where is he looking when you aren't there, Lizzie?'"

Out of nowhere, a fat drop of tear fell on the page and smattered the ink all over. I quickly took the sleeve of my shirt and wiped it away so that I could read on. The tears weren't for the woman who was writing this. The tears were for the young girl who knew my pain before she knew me.

_I wasn't out to get you. _Her voice rang in my ear, but I kept reading.

"Tell me she is wrong, Carlisle. Tell me that he has found other things to look at."

I sat there for a very long time, reading the same passage over and over again. Reading about what Isabella said to _her_ about me so many years ago. When I didn't even know she existed.

I heard the door to the library open and Dad walked in. I saw his eyes watering up as he saw me sitting on the floor with the journal on my lap, but I didn't want to see that look on his face. It wasn't what he thought it was. I wasn't reading these for _her_ sake.

But I think he kind of knew that. He came and sat on the floor beside me, looking down at the passage I was reading. Then he placed a hand on my shoulder and took the journal from me, turning it to another page towards the end and returning it to me.

"You need to read this."

With that he squeezed my shoulder once and then actually kissed my head. I frowned to myself while he got up and left the library.

I started reading the passage he had opened for me.

"We had the biggest fight we have had since I have known her. I was writing my will and she was there. She was quiet in the lawyer's office and the entire ride home. Then when she was going to drop me off and go back to her dorms, she exploded.

She said that it wasn't fair, what I am doing to you and the boys. That you have a right to know. And you have a right to say goodbye. I tried to explain to her that you have already said goodbye to me. And that your memories of me will always be tainted enough so that my absence won't linger in your lives for long. That you will all move on thinking I have moved on.

But she wouldn't have any of it. She said that she could see the love all of you have for me in the pictures and from the stories I have told her. That this love will never let you just move on.

And I told her that this was the precise reason I left the way I did. So you will replace the love with something else. Despise. Maybe hatred. And it will make it easier to move on."

Once again, I had to stop reading, but out of sheer fury. This was exactly why I didn't want to read this shit. I didn't want to read her reasoning behind why she fucking left. She didn't deserve that chance from me. What the fuck was she talking about, anyways! What kind of fucked up person reasons in that way!

I took deep breaths to calm myself down. I wasn't going to let myself get into that. I was not ready to deal with _her_ yet. She and her fucked up reasons can go fuck themselves.

Dad had said this passage was important. So I continued reading, determined to ignore _her_ side of things and only focus on Isabella.

"She wouldn't hear any of it. She was so angry. She threatened to stop coming around to see me. She even made Charlie come all the way from Jacksonville and talk to me.

Maybe they are right. But I just can't see that pain in my children's eyes. She is right. I am a coward and I am selfish. And I told her that too. That I was a coward. She yelled at me and said that I had made that family hers too, by involving her in all of this. And that I couldn't expect her to let them suffer because of my cowardice. That's when I put my foot down. And I told her that I may be a coward, but she still had no right to get involved with my decisions about my family.

I told her in very clear words: 'I love you and I am grateful for all your love. And I appreciate that you worry about them. And you can love them all you want, Isabella. But you will not interfere between me and my family. This decision is mine to make, and mine alone. If I want to die bearing this secret, I will, and you will respect my wishes.'"

_It wasn't my secret to tell. _

_I made a promise._

She had been quoting her lines to me. The brainwashing that she had been subjected to. She was just a young girl who didn't even know us. But she fought for us. And this was when it all _finally_ became clear to me.

She had fought with _her_. She had tears over me and my family even before she knew us, because she understood our pain more than _she_ did. She wanted to give us what we needed. Somehow, the young and naïve girl was much more mature in that relationship than the grown woman was.

But still, that's what she was. Young and naïve. I closed my eyes and could clearly see her like that. Young and innocent and loving that woman and worrying about her. It was in her nature, to love like that. To care for someone broken. And to be broken in the process.

But what had I done? I had done the same thing. She had also tried to love me. No, not tried. She had. That's what she said that day.

But I had just thrown that aside. And just like that woman, I had taken that love from her freely when she gave it. But I hadn't listened to her voice of reason when she tried to explain. She had been buried under the weight of the favors that the woman had done for her while trying to fix the fucked up family _she_ left behind her.

Jesus, was this girl out of her mind? Why the fuck did she put up with this fucked up family? What the fuck made her fight her for our rights back then? And what made her fight me for _her_ rights now?

_I love you. Of course, I love you._

Her voice rang out in the empty room for me. Is that what it was? Was that the answer? That was the motivation behind her fucked up masochistic relation to this family? That she loved us?

She loved _her_ and she loved the rest of us. And we had all cornered her in our own ways.

_She_ had pushed her back then, and I had pushed her now. She had been caught up between this fucked up relationship I had with that woman. She was in the line of fire from both our sides.

And I was wrong that day when I had thought that she had betrayed me all this time. That's what she was trying to tell me in New York.

_I chose you._

She chose me. In this tug of war that that woman and I did over her love, she picked me. She broke the promise that woman made her swear to keep. She chose to be honest with me. Because she loved me. She loved me more than she loved _her_.

She chose me.

A small smile spread across my face despite of my tears. My instincts about her had never been wrong. When we first met, I had tried to hate her, to push her away. But she had still wriggled her way into my heart and I had given in to her draw. And three months ago, I made a rash decision and made myself believe that my instincts about her were wrong. I made myself believe that she was just like everyone else. But I was wrong. She wasn't. She was exactly who I thought she was. My Isabella.

A manic laughter took over my body as the realization spread through my being. _I_ was the one who was wrong. She was the most pure thing in this world. She was good and innocent. Loving and giving and nurturing. Just like I had thought she was.

Her thousands of different smiles ran through my mind.

Her hugging Sophie ran through my mind.

Her making silly faces at me ran through my mind.

Her taking care of me ran through my mind.

It had all been real. None of it had been fake.

And finally, a splinter ran through my mind as I remembered how she looked standing in our doorway when I had told her to get away from me and my family. And all the air left my lungs.

I had taken the most beautiful and pure thing in my life, the only thing that wasn't fucked up, and crushed it to pieces.

I felt my whole world caving in on me, a heavy weight starting to settle on my chest, as utter fear spread through every vein in my body. What had I done! She was the only light in my life. My only chance for salvation. And I had done everything in my power to extinguish it. What if I had blown it out all the way?

My chest tightened further and further at the prospect of a life without her. What would I be just on my own? How would I go on?

No. No. I won't. I won't let it happen. I will beg and crawl and pray and do everything she wants me to. I will fucking stalk her until she takes me back. She said she loved me. She has to give me another chance. She just has to.

I jumped up from the chair and the journals spilled to the floor, spreading everywhere. Fuck those. I ran to my phone and placed a call to locate the jet. I sighed audibly with relief when I was told that it was in the city. I told them to get it ready to take off immediately and that I was on my way.

I put on my shoes and slung a jacket over my t-shirt. I grabbed my cell phone and wallet and was on my way.

I ran downstairs and grabbed my keys from the foyer and was almost out the door when Dad, Alice and Jasper came rushing from the living room.

"Where are you going?" Dad asked with wide eyes as he took in my disheveled state.

"I'm taking the jet." Then I turned to Alice. "Text me Isabella's address in Seattle. And don't tell her I'm coming."

With that, I was out the door. On my way to finally starting my life. If my life agreed to forgive me and still wanted me, that is.

**A/N:** And it doesn't end here!…Beastward agreed to talk to Jamie and I while he was on the jet flying to Seattle. Come to **http : / / sourceofserendipity . blogspot . com / **to get a glimpse at our conversation where the poor boy is freaking the hell out while Jamie and I sip some Cullen Inc. champagne. Jamie is still a little shaken up with the aftereffects of the convo we had with him, but I'm caring for her while she recovers from her Beastward-induced-haze.

Teaser poster for Chappy 27 is there too. Also, there's a very beautiful song called "Alone Apart" by Marketa Irglova that I have added as the chapter song on the site.

**By the way, does anyone think tomorrow's too early to post Chappy 27? Or do you ladies need a bit longer recovery time? *evil grin***


	27. For love directs your course

**"_For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. _**

**_Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, _**

**_So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. _**

**_Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. _**

**_He threshes you to make you naked. _**

**_He sifts you to free you from your husks. _**

**_He grinds you to whiteness. _**

**_He kneads you until you are pliant; _**

**_And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast. _**

**_All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart. _**

**_But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, _**

**_Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, _**

**_Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. _**

**_Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. _**

**_Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; _**

**_For love is sufficient unto love. _**

**_When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God." _**

**_And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course."_**

_~ Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I sat in the subway and almost dozed off out of exhaustion. This whole day had been shit. I had slept through my alarm, stubbed my toe while getting my toast, spilled coffee all over my clothes, gotten in to work late, been yelled at by the Chief of Medicine during rounds, and then had a patient throw up all over me. And now I was tired and hungry and irritated and generally miserable. As I emerged from the station I just shook my head in disbelief and trudged out into the pouring rain. This day just kept getting better and better.

Ever since I came back from New York last weekend, I had entered my own personal version of hell. I had thought that the last few months of my life had been tough, but this last week had been far worse than anything I had been through.

I had promised myself in New York that I was freeing myself from the Cullens. But that hadn't worked out as I had planned.

I had physically distanced myself from them by asking Edward to get out of my life, but his presence was in the very essence of my being. I had stormed out of the museum and taken a cab back to the hotel, determined to never again look back. But as soon as I had entered the hotel room, all the fight had left my body and I had fallen on my knees just inside the door.

A loud wail had left my chest and I had sobbed uncontrollably for hours. My dress ripped on the sides when I kneeled on the floor but I couldn't care less. I wrapped my arms around myself and let my sobs out as I mourned the loss of my love.

He didn't want me. But I didn't cry because he didn't want me. I cried because he had once and for all proven my worth to me. I had told him three months ago in LA that I loved him, and that night in New York I had explained my actions to him. But no matter how much I had loved, it didn't matter. I wasn't worth him getting over the other stuff.

The image of his unaffected face when I had told him about choosing him over Lizzie was the worst of all. How could I have loved so much but not been able to affect him at all?

I felt furious with myself that I had ever expected him to come and find me in the past three months. I had expected him to somehow see through it all and realize that I had loved him, regardless of everything. How foolish I had been. He didn't even care about it after I had explained it to him blatantly. He had only just stood there and given me a blank look that said it didn't matter.

I was a mess as we left New York and I don't even know how we got back to Seattle. Mike had let me break down the way I needed to and made sure I got back home safely despite of the devastated state I was in.

I had called Alice wanting to yell at her for what she had done. But then, I had realized that I was actually grateful for the option of having been able to explain myself to Edward. As much as it had hurt, I had needed to see that unaffected look on his face even though I had explained my relation with Lizzie to him and my reasons for keeping the secret. It had broken me but it was what I needed to find closure at some point. I had broken down on the phone with Alice and told her about what Edward and I had talked about, reasoning with her that no matter what she did, it wouldn't have any effect on Edward. And I had begged her not to ever put me through something like that again.

On Monday morning, I thought about not going to work, but then I realized that the only way I could somehow go through the day was if I went to work and distracted myself. I did that for the rest of the week and put all my heart into the work while I was at the hospital. But as soon as I had a moment to myself, my tears flowed uncontrollably. I cried more than I ever thought possible. I cried in the subway, I cried while walking down the streets, I cried at bathrooms at work, I cried as soon as I came into my apartment, before I fell asleep and as soon as I woke up. Where were all these tears coming from? And how was I still alive with this much pain in me?

It was Thursday and this day wasn't any better. As I walked out of the subway station, all I wanted to do was to throw myself into my warm bed, but I had no groceries at home and had starved for the past two nights. So I forced myself to go into a store and buy some groceries.

I walked down my street towards my building holding an umbrella in one hand and a bag of groceries in another, while I used the same hand to eat a banana desperately. I was _that_ hungry. When I was about 50 feet from the building, my bag of groceries decided to give out and spill all the contents into the sidewalk drenched in heavy rain. I let out a loud curse and looked down at the spilled contents for a few seconds in disgust. Finally, I just decided to screw it all and go home and drown in my comforters. I walked over the groceries lying on the street and straightened my umbrella as I took a step towards my building, but then I stopped walking.

Edward was sitting on the steps outside my building, getting completely drenched by the rain. His head was in his hands as he looked down, resting his elbows on his knees.

I stood there for a long time, trying to wrap my head around his presence there. All those months when I had waited and hoped that he'd come here at some point. So many evenings I had walked up to these exact steps and silently imagined him standing here, waiting for me. I had imagined that he'd tell me he forgave me and that he loved me too. And he would take me in his arms and kiss me, and we would be ok. I couldn't tell you how many times I had imagined that scenario.

And now he was right where I had wished he would be all those times. But he didn't look like the regal and full-of-life version of himself that I had always imagined, flanked by his swanky car on the side of the road. The version that wore a suit and had a twinkle in his eyes and a slight smirk on his lips as I would approach him. This version of him that was in front of me now was wearing jeans and a leather jacket and I couldn't see his face because his arms were in the way and he was looking down at the ground. He was completely and totally wet. He looked defeated and powerless.

No matter what happened in this world, I never wanted to see Edward this way. I didn't know why he was here or why he looked so broken. As always, my heart prioritized his well-being but a voice inside me screamed that he was going to break me all over again. That's why he was here.

I scoffed at myself. How much more was left to be broken anyways?

So I did the only thing I could.

I walked closer to him and came to stand a few feet away to his side, but he took no notice of me or anything else around him. I did the only thing I could think of. I extended my umbrella so it shielded him from the rain pouring on his head and back. His head suddenly snapped up and his gaze fell on me.

His eyes widened and he abruptly jumped up from the stairs. Because he was so much taller than me, he managed to knock the umbrella right out of my hands with his head when he jumped, and now the rain drenched me too.

"Shit! Edward!" I shrieked as I ran for the door, shielding myself from the rain. I quickly unlocked the front door of the building and made my way inside. I turned around to see him standing in the doorway and held on to the door impatiently so he would get inside and I could get away from the cold breeze.

He finally took the hint and walked inside. His face wore a cautious expression as he looked at me. I turned around without a word and walked up the stairs to my apartment and heard his footsteps following me after a while.

When I went inside, I left the door open and went straight to the kitchen to put on a pot of tea. I came back out into the living room to see Edward standing in the doorway to the apartment, looking around with slightly curious eyes. As soon as I came into sight his eyes got that cautious look again and he stiffened a little. I walked into the bathroom and grabbed a set of towels. I threw one at him as I stood in the living room, wiping my own face and hair.

I guess he took that as an invitation because he came inside and lightly closed the door behind him. I noticed that he didn't lock it. I silently went back into the kitchen and made two cups of tea. As I stood by the counter, dipping the tea bag into one of the cups, I heard him coming into the kitchen. I took a deep breath, then turned around, crossing my arms over my chest in a defensive posture and looking at him straight in the eye.

I was ready for him to lash out at me again. I was ready for him to tell me how horrible of a person he thought I was. I was ready for him to make sure I really knew how much he hated me.

I wasn't ready for his next words.

He looked at me with a neutral expression as he spoke.

"Can you imagine being in a place so dark that there are times that you just want to crawl up and die, but you can't even do that because a little person depends on you to be happy?"

His voice was raspy, like he hadn't used it in a long time. He winced a little at the sound and cleared his throat. I reached behind me and handed him the cup of tea.

My heart missed a beat at the implications of what he just said but I tried to keep my emotions unnoticeable. He glanced at me once then looked away from me and out the window as he spoke.

"That's how it was, before you came. When other people spoke of their lives and made plans for their futures, I saw how they were excited about some things and anxious about others. I didn't feel any of it. I never saw anything ahead of me in life. Whatever it would be, it didn't really matter. I had to just somehow get through it all for Sophie. There would never be any joy or any excitement in my own life. But I had to keep going for Sophie because that kid has been screwed over by this motherfucking world just like I have been and no way in hell would I ever be the reason she would feel that one more time."

He looked at me, waiting for some sort of response that I was listening. I didn't give him any. He continued anyways.

"That was the state of my mind when you came into our lives. I didn't even fucking care if I died, Isabella. The thought of death was of no consequence to me, because I was just that uninterested to live."

I took in a shuddering breath but kept my face neutral. He must have seen the reaction though, because his eyes came alive.

"You did the worst thing possible. You made me interested. You made me see my future.

That's how I knew that I had fallen for you. It was on a day when Sophie and you were talking about planting some goddamn flower in the garden that some special kind of butterfly was attracted to, and you were wondering whether one of those would come if you grew those flowers. And I sat there looking at you two and groaned as I thought about how many fucking years that might take as you two babbled on about waiting for the goddamn butterfly. And I thought of how many trips I would have to make to the store to pick up new plants to make sure the flowers bloomed at all times. I imagined an older you and a grown up Sophie all excited and screaming my ears off if that motherfucker ever actually showed up."

His eyes were alight now and his gaze was boring into me.

"And there it was. My future, right there in front of me. The two of you driving me fucking insane for the rest of my life. And it's all my motherfucking heart wanted at that moment. Nothing else, _nothing else_ in this world mattered to me at that moment."

He took a step forward and his eyes beseeched mine.

"Falling in love with you was the scariest thing I have done in my whole life. I took such a long shot! I had to break down all my walls to let you in. And yes, it took a long time for me to learn to trust you, but I fucking did it at the end anyways. I trusted you with my life. The world was fucked up but you were what was good about it, what was pure.

And that day at our house, Isabella…." His words faltered and his face contorted in pain. He swallowed a few times and took a deep breath.

"You took away from me my last bit of hope and faith. You stripped me naked when you stood there and said the words that finally shattered everything around me in countless pieces. Because if _you_ weren't pure Isabella, if _you_ weren't good, if _you_ had betrayed me, then there was just nothing else left."

His voice broke and he stopped talking. He was quiet for a long time after this, and I looked away from him as I tried to process his words. He sipped his tea, holding the cup in both his palms in an effort to warm them. I felt his intent gaze on the side of my face the whole time.

"I read her journals."

My eyes snapped back to his at this, and he waited for me to say something. But I stood quietly, gazing at him with an even look.

"I thought you knew each other and stuff. I had no idea your connection to her was that deep. Now I understand better why you had to do what you did."

Once again, I had no words for him. He understood? Really?

"I should have let you explain everything that day at the house. I reacted before I heard what you had to say. I shut you out before you could tell me the whole truth."

I squeezed my eyes shut because those exact words were what I wanted to hear from him, what I wanted him to realize. It was all too much. And I was overwhelmed.

"Is that all you want to say?" I asked him in a detached voice because I didn't dare letting any of my emotions out at this point. I didn't want to risk breaking down in front of him right then.

He shook his head and then took a deep breath as he spoke to the cup in his hands.

"I will never forgive her for what she did to me. But I was wrong about you. You are nothing like her. You were put in a difficult situation and you did what you thought was best. It wasn't your fault. Both she _and_ we put you in the middle of us and you were cornered. She cornered you by asking you to keep her secret. We cornered you by building our happiness around you and putting that responsibility on your shoulders. And on your part, every single thing that you did – taking care of her, taking care of us, not telling me about her - you did out of love. "

He finally looked up at me and put the cup down on the counter. I was probably shaking at this point, trying to keep my tears at bay.

"But even back when I didn't know that you were only trapped in all the fucked-up-ness of this situation, when I hated you because I thought you had betrayed me, and when I had lost all faith in everything around, what drove me crazy more than anything else in the world was the fact that I couldn't stop myself from missing you. I couldn't keep the goddamn sound of your laughter from ringing in my ears every time Sophie said something funny. I couldn't not imagine you giggling in the middle of all the butterflies every time I passed the street with the greenhouse. I couldn't stop your face popping up in my head every time I woke up in the morning. Even the motherfucking forget-me-nots drove me crazy.

I hated you with all my heart but you were everywhere. In every space and every corner of my house, my city, my mind. Every place I went to where we had been brought back memories of what we did there, and every place where we hadn't been made my goddamn mind try to think of what we would do if we had been there." He went quiet for a few seconds and gathered his thoughts.

"Even if I hadn't known the truth about the situation, I would still never have stopped loving you. I would have continued to hate you too, but the rest of my feelings would remain there nonetheless. You fucking etched yourself permanently into me somehow. And now that I know that I have no reason to hate you, I am only left with the rest of the goddamn feelings."

He took a deep breath again and ran his hand through his hair once. He looked away to the window once then looked back at me, his eyes swimming with emotions that I couldn't possibly comprehend.

"I don't know how to dress this up in a bunch of pretty fucking words. It is what it is. I messed up and I was an asshole. But you told me that you loved me. And I am willing to spend every single fucking day of forever begging you to forgive me. And I am here and I am yours. If you still want me."

I stood there frozen with my cup in my hand. I couldn't even move my hand to put the cup down. The implications of what he just said were too big to sink in.

Edward gazed at my frozen expression for a long time then slightly nodded his head in some sort of understanding.

"If you want me to leave you alone, I will. I understand if you can't forgive me for not seeing your side of things before." He said as he took a step towards the kitchen door.

I was quiet.

He nodded his head as if he understood and took a deep breath before looking at me again.

"My family and I will never bother you again, Isabella. I promise you that. I can't really make it like we never existed, but I will try to erase as much of our connections as I can. But know that you will always be a part of…us. And I will forever be sorry for what I did. For what I lost."

And then he turned around and left the kitchen. After a few seconds I heard the front door close behind him.

I felt the anger searing within me as I stood still in the kitchen for a long time, still clutching on to my tea cup. Several minutes passed as I stood at the same spot. How could he just have said all those things he had said and then just leave? If he even felt an inch of the things he just said he couldn't leave.

Every sound around me suddenly became very loud. I heard the water dripping from the tap behind me, the sound of the refrigerator humming, the rain hammering on the window. The anger I felt finally gave way to a manic feeling of loss and hurt and outrage.

I threw the cup in the sink behind me and heard it shatter to pieces as I walked with hurried and determined steps across the apartment. I walked out of the apartment in my slippers and didn't even get a coat. I just walked out in my shirt and jeans and stepped right into the pouring rain outside. Once out on the street I looked around to find a familiar car, but obviously he hadn't brought one of his cars from LA. It had already become dark outside and the rain made it difficult to see much with just the streetlights lit.

And maybe he had left already.

I felt another rush of rage run through me as I thought of the possibility that he had left. _He had better not_, I thought to myself as I started walking down the street. I had no idea where I was going and where I expected to find him, but I just kept walking. The rain had soaked me thoroughly by now and people on the street were giving me wary glances. Someone even reached out to ask if I was alright and if I needed help but I just ignored everyone. My mind had one single focus at that moment.

Finally, it all became too much and I started to run. I ran and ran and ran and finally saw him walking down the end of the street I had just turned into. He was walking with slouched shoulders, his head down and his hands in his pockets, with his back to me. I ran with all the strength in me up to him and pushed him forcefully from behind, letting all the anger and hurt out.

He stumbled forwards but caught himself and turned back. His face was first angry but it changed to surprise when he saw me.

"What are you.." I didn't let him finish and pushed him on his chest this time. He stumbled back a few steps and kept looking at me with shocked eyes.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" I yelled and his eyes went even wider if possible. I didn't even recognize the anguished yelling voice as belonging to me anymore.

"Where the fuck do you get off saying all those things to me when you don't mean a word of it?" I screamed at him.

"What are you…I meant every word I said." Anger flashed across his face and he said with gritted teeth. Raindrops gathered in his hair and his eyelashes and made them look darker than they were.

"The hell you did." I pushed him on the chest again.

"Isabella!" He growled in frustration and reached out with his hands but I pulled back.

"No. Don't. You have no right to do this to me." I clutched my hair in frustration and looked around myself in despair.

"I was…I couldn't…I was starting to breathe again! You have no right to come back and rip me apart again. Where am I going to go now? What am I going to do with all this pain, Edward?" I yelled.

He closed his eyes for a second and let out a deep breath.

"Why did you just say all those things to me?" I demanded.

He opened his eyes and his face looked determined but tired. "I meant every single word."

I pushed him on his chest with all my force again. "Stop lying!"

"I'm not lying." He said as he righted himself.

I gritted my teeth and took a step back from him because I felt so much anger. "You could never walk away from me if you meant any of it. You couldn't leave me if you meant it."

"But, you said..:"

Now I was yelling full force. "I don't care what I said. I don't care what I said now and I don't care what I said then. I don't care if I lied to you. I don't care if I kept secrets. I don't fucking _care_ what I did Edward. I don't care if I knew your mother and kept that from you. I don't care if you hate her for what she did. _I didn't ask for any of it, Edward!_ I didn't ask her to leave you and come to me. I didn't ask you to walk into my life. I didn't ask your family to make me theirs. And I sure as hell didn't ask to fall in love with you. None of it. I never asked for any of it. And yet, I struggled every single day all on my own. If you meant those things that you just said, _then how could you not see my pain_?"

He looked at me like I had slapped him and opened his mouth but I continued, not giving a damn about the people around us who were staring, or the rain that was making me drenched and chilling my bones to the core. I was sobbing by now and my voice was cracked and hoarse but I didn't care.

"How could you let me go, Edward? If you meant any of that? How could you let me leave your house that day? Why couldn't you just see how much I had struggled all those months? Why couldn't you just understand a little? Why couldn't you just see all my love in my eyes and know that I could never hurt you? You could never ever walk away from me if you meant any of it. Never."

His eyes welled up with tears and his face contorted. "Isabella..."

I stood right in front of him and panted with rage. "Don't! Just answer the questions."

He held my gaze and said in a strong voice and emphasized each syllable. "I am sorry."

I pushed him again. "Don't fucking apologize to me Edward. Don't you dare."

He stumbled again and looked at me intently. "You are right. I should have known. None of it should have mattered. She shouldn't have mattered. What you did or what I did shouldn't have mattered. Nothing anywhere should have fucking mattered. I should have seen the love in your eyes. Our love should have been fucking enough."

And at that, I had had enough. I launched myself at him with so much force that he stumbled backwards a few steps again. I crashed my lips onto his and my face was contorted in pain. I didn't move or try to coax him on. I just had to be connected to him. He was frozen in shock for a second, his arms still extended out in the air and his eyes wide. Then he broke out of it and suddenly his hands were behind my thighs, pulling them upwards. I let him do what he wanted and my legs went around his back as he hoisted me up around his waist so that my face was now higher than his and my head was bent down towards him. Then finally his lips came to life and he immediately pressed forcefully back on mine and let out a loud growl.

The sound of that growl snapped something inside me. I brought both his lips into my mouth and sucked hard. One of my hands was on top of his head, clutching his hair while the other was at fisting his collar and pulling him into me. I tightened my legs around him and squeezed him into me with all my strength.

It must have hurt because Edward groaned and turned around randomly on the pavement as I continued my assault on his lips and his hair and his face and his waist. He bumped into some people and knocked out some more umbrellas, and I heard people asking us to get a room, but I couldn't care less. He finally found a couple of steps outside a building and sat down on it, with me straddling his lap and kissing him for dear life. His arms were now free and immediately shot up to hold my head in place as his lips now took dominance of the kiss. He took my bottom lip into his mouth and bit down on it and I let out a sound between a sob and a whimper.

He pulled back his lips abruptly, still holding my head in his hands, and looked around a little, as if trying to remember where we were.

I grabbed a hold of his face and crashed my lips to his again. My hands went around the back of his head and pushed him further into me. The kiss was sloppy and hungry and desperate. He finally tried to pull back but this time I bit down on his bottom lip. He groaned then pulled back again as soon as I let his lip go.

"We have to get inside." He said in between heavy pants, his eyes closed, our noses resting on each other's cheeks.

"No." I said and took his lips with mine again. He let me kiss him again for a long time. Finally, he ran the palms of his hands soothingly on the sides of my head and started murmuring between kisses.

"I'm here. I'm right here."

This just made me even more frantic and I kissed him even more forcefully. But his lips and his hands were becoming calmer the more frantic I got and finally I pulled back with a growl and frowned at him.

We were sitting on the steps of a strange house late in the evening, getting drenched in the rain, me straddling his lap, with people on the streets throwing us dubious looks. But his face was peaceful as he looked down at me. It was the most serene I had ever seen it.

He looked at me with a soft expression as he stroked the sides of my face with both his palms.

"We are fine. We'll be fine."

I felt the lump rising to my throat and swallowed. "You promise?"

His eyes blazed and his face twisted. "I fucking promise." Then his lips were on mine again and this time _he_ was frantic.

After a long moment he finally pulled back with a groan and his nose rested heavily on mine.

"They're gonna fucking arrest us for indecent exposure or some shit if we keep this up."

I couldn't help the smile that broke through on my face and it was the first genuine smile, one that I felt in the deepest recesses of my heart, since I had left LA. He felt it on his face since mine was pressed against his. He pulled back quickly, his eyes running all over my face before they returned to meet my gaze as they were shining with something.

"C'mon…let's go." He said as he quickly rose from the steps and started dragging me towards the direction of my building. His grip on my hand was firm as he walked in a fast pace and I had to almost run to keep up with him. We must have looked like idiots to everyone else on the street. Two people who were soaked in the rain, running down the street holding hands.

We almost ran into Mrs. Wharton coming down the stairs when we walked into my building. She squealed as Edward almost slammed into her because he was looking back at me while we made our way towards the stairs.

He moved out of her way in the last moment and then pulled me sideways so that I wouldn't run into her too. This landed me standing flush against him, both of us standing next to each other with our backs to the wall, letting Mrs. Wharton pass by in the narrow hallway. We were both panting from the run and were soaked to our bones and Mrs. Wharton gave both of us a very wary look as she passed. I mumbled a sorry to her and started to giggle as soon as she was out of sight.

Edward was looking down at me and laughing too before his face transformed into something serious as he quickly shifted and suddenly his mouth was on mine, demanding something, taking something, giving something. As I wriggled under his assault, he moved forward and pressed the entire length of his body against mine, and all my movements stopped completely.

I fisted my hands on his collar and pulled him closer and he groaned because there was no way we could be closer than we already were.

I tore away from his lips this time. "Upstairs." I whispered into his mouth just before he crashed it on mine again.

He pulled both of us towards the stairs without breaking our contact, but we stumbled on the first step. I heard someone coming down the stairs and pushed myself off of him. He flashed me an irritated look and I grabbed his hand and started up the stairs, pulling him behind me.

We passed by the journalist that lived one floor above me on our way up the stairs and he gave me a dubious look then raised an eyebrow as he saw Edward. I guess it was pretty clear what we were up to, but like I gave a fuck what anyone thought at that moment.

We finally came up to my apartment and I half ran through the door that I had left wide open in my haste to get to Edward.

I heard Edward kicking the door close behind him and kept walking through the living room, trying to get to my bedroom. But Edward yanked on the hand that I was dragging him with, making me turn and crash into him.

This time, as his lips assaulted mine, his tongue touched my bottom lip and I gasped. I opened wider to let him in and as soon as I felt his tongue in my mouth I was only a ball of sensations. I caressed his tongue with mine and groaned as I tasted him. His tongue became insistent and his hands were on my back and my shoulders, pressing me firmly into his chest. Again, we tried to get closer, each of us pressing ourselves against the other, pushing the other into our bodies. But each of us kept letting out frustrated and angry groans and growls because it just wasn't possible.

I don't even know how or when it happened, but I found my fingers trying to undo the buttons on my shirt. While I fumbled, Edward grabbed my wrists and put them around his neck. Then his hands went around my waist and he picked me up slightly so my feet were dangling off the floor and my head was the same level as his.

I kissed him like that for a while, fisting his shirt on his shoulders and his hair intermittently. Then when I again got tired of not being able to be closer to him I lowered my hands to the hem of my shirt, trying to lift it.

Edward broke our kiss with a groan but kept his lips touching mine slightly as he spoke.

"Stop trying to take your fucking clothes off." His voice was low and raspy and everything inside me lit with fire as I heard the sound of it.

"Why? Did you want to do that part?" I whispered into his mouth, while I ran my hands through his hair.

"Not tonight."

I immediately pulled back my head and gaped at him.

He put me down but didn't let go of me. So we stood there, pressed to each other, our clothes dripping water all over my living room floor.

He leaned forward to kiss me again but I pulled back. "Why not?" I demanded.

"Because I am going to go fucking insane." He growled and held my head firmly in place as he kissed me.

He pulled back slightly after a while. "All you have done is kissed me and I am losing my mind." His lips were on mine again. "Do you feel that?" And again.

He pulled his lips away then but squeezed me firmly into his chest and his eyes shone with something.

"I can't even fucking think straight right now and all you have done is kissed me. If we go any further, I am going to drown and never resurface. Can you understand that?"

I went for his neck this time, kissing the spot beside his Adam's apple.

"Then drown." I said in a whisper to his neck. He gasped slightly and froze for a second. Then he pulled me back and rubbed his palms against my cheeks again as his eyes held my gaze.

"I will. But in ecstasy. Not because we need to reassure each other of the reality of this."

"Edward." I whimpered and pressed my face to his shoulder. "I _need_ you to reassure me."

His arms went around my torso and he held me to him tightly. "I will. All night. I will kiss you all night."

Then he lowered his face and planted a kiss on my temple. This was different from all the kisses we had shared until now. It was soft but firm. He kept his lips pressed to my temple for a long moment and then puckered them. Like he was introducing his lips and my temple to each other for the first time. Like he was relishing the moment.

"Fuck, I will kiss you all week." He whispered as his lips moved down to the spot in front of my ear and repeated what he did to my temple.

"All month." He moved on to my cheekbone.

"All the motherfucking year." His lips were now on my eye, and he moved them back and forth, rubbing the spot below my eyebrow.

"Just let me kiss you. Let me learn to kiss you first, Isabella."

Then he proceeded to kiss every single inch of my face in that way as he slowly walked backwards towards the couch, pulling me with him. When we got there, he made me turn so that I sat down on the couch first, and he followed me. We kissed sitting side by side for a while but I was trying to get closer to him and it was uncomfortable.

So he pushed me back on my shoulders so I lay down on the couch, with my back to the back of the couch, and he lay down next to me so I was sandwiched in between. The couch wasn't very wide so he had to press his body tightly against mine, which was exactly what I wanted.

The living room was dark, the only light coming from the kitchen. There were no other sounds in the room other than the ones we were making. Of his lips kissing my face. Of my sighs.

The close proximity of his body to me was driving me crazy and I finally pushed him backwards a little to make him stop kissing my face. He obliged and lay down on his back, and I immediately shifted so that my body rested completely on top of his. Now every part of me pressed on him and he closed his eyes and let out a long sigh as his arms went around my back. I raised my head and looked down at his face in the dim light.

"Edward." I whispered his name as I looked at him and his eyes flew open. "Edward." I whispered again and his eyes were fixed on mine. Suddenly, everything felt very real.

He looked at me with an expression so intense that it almost looked painful.

"Edward." I whispered again and his face contorted.

"Edward." I raised my hand and ran it from his forehead down to his temple, his cheek and his chin. At every stop, I whispered his name.

"Edward." I ran my fingers across his lips and his nose and his chin. He groaned and closed his eyes.

"You are here." I whispered and his eyes opened again, intently searching my face. "You came for me."

His face relaxed in ancient knowledge as he spoke. "I had to. This is where I'm supposed to be."

I couldn't help it. I smiled. "In Seattle?"

His hands moved from my back and ran up and down my arms. "No. Here."

I smiled widely and then held his face in my hands and leaned down so my nose was in his hair, behind his ear. I sniffed deeply and ran my nose up and down his scalp. I felt him shudder under me.

I moved my nose to the space under his ear and sniffed again. I had to make sure I branded myself with his scent so I would know he was here. And I was introducing all my senses to him.

I kept pushing my nose into the skin on his neck and his jaw and his chin when he groaned and pulled my face up.

"You are driving me insane. Let me kiss you."

I pulled upwards and smiled down at him as I ran my hand through his hair.

"Your hair is longer."

His eyes became sad but he smiled. "I wasn't in the mood to get it cut."

I understood what he meant. I leaned down and kissed a strand of it that I held in my fingers.

His hands ran up my sides. "You are thinner."

"So are you." I said as I pulled back again and met his eyes. He smiled slightly.

"We can cook a shitload of stuff and feed each other." He said as he ran his hand through my hair.

I bit the side of my lips. "Ok. But don't get too fat though. I liked the way you were before."

He let out a puff of air through a slight laugh. "Ok."

And then he pulled my lips back onto his and we were done talking for that moment.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I have no idea when I fell asleep. But I can tell you for sure that he was still kissing me when I did. It couldn't have been very long ago though, because I remember seeing the first light of dawn filtering through the window above my head as I looked up at Edward's face hovering over mine in between his kisses. And now that I was awake, the back of my eyelids still stung from the lack of sleep last night and I immediately closed them against the bright sunlight filtering through the window.

I try to wriggle to get up, but it was literally impossible. It didn't take me long to realize that the entire right side of my torso was numb.

It wasn't weird really. Edward weighed much more than I did and the weight of his body as it rested partially on my right side would easily make me numb. I was lying on my back, still sandwiched between Edward and the back of the couch. He was half lying on his stomach, but since there was so little space left, half of his body was on top of mine. His face was on the cushion, but close enough so his nose was touching my right cheek. His arm was wrapped all the way around my torso and holding on to my left shoulder. His right leg was thrown over both of mine, effectively trapping me under him completely from head to toe.

I tried to wriggle free a little, but Edward mumbled something incoherent and shifted slightly, pressing down on me even more.

I wriggled again and he shifted his face closer to my cheek and pressed his lips there. "Let me sleep a little more then I'll kiss you again." He mumbled with his lips still on my cheek, making his words very hard to understand.

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me. I lifted my left hand and clutched onto his forearm that went over my chest, just to feel him there. To make sure it was really him.

I smiled even wider as I thought of the possibility of kissing him for the rest of the day today…I would just lie here for as long as he was sleeping, then we could pick up where we left off. And we could continue until one of us absolutely had to leave this couch…to go to the bathroom, or eat or something. I could just lie here for the rest of the day…not go anywhere…_oh_ _shit!_

"Shit, shit, shit!" I started cursing loudly as I pushed Edward's shoulder and made him move enough with sheer force and wrenched my body from underneath him. He grunted with the force of my push but I ignored him. I climbed over him to get off the couch and frantically ran to the kitchen to look at the time.

"What? What? What happened?" I heard Edward's panicked voice from the living room just when I entered the kitchen. 07.45.

"SHIT!" I yelled and ran back to the living room.

Edward was sitting up on the couch, his eyes squinted against the light, his hands on his sides, resting on the couch, as if he needed the support to hold him up. His shirt was completely wrinkled, with the two top buttons still undone from when I had sneakily got them open. His hair was in a horrible mess, having dried with my hands running all over it. His eyes were still unfocused from his grogginess as he looked around the room in confusion.

He was easily the most beautiful man on this planet.

But I didn't have time to dwell on that. I sprinted across the room and started looking for my cell phone, that I was sure I tossed somewhere around here yesterday.

"What the fuck is going on?" His voice sounded extremely confused and I quickly glanced up from under the table to look at him.

"I am late. They're gonna kill me. Get up and help me find my phone." I went back to looking as I told him.

"Huh?" He said with a lot of emphasis.

"I was supposed to be at work 45 minutes ago, Edward! Help me find my phone so I can tell them I'm on my way!"

He either didn't understand me or didn't care because he just kept sitting on the couch, looking at my frantic movements with a confused frown. His disheveled state made me want to giggle and make a comment just to get him annoyed, but I decided to save that one for another day.

The damn phone was nowhere to be found and my panic was rising with every second as were the frantic movements of my body in order to find it. I was throwing cushions out of the couch that Edward wasn't sitting on, flipping over books and papers on the coffee table, getting down on the floor to look under the couch. This was completely irresponsible of me, to just not have shown up at work without any notice. I had been working hard to get on the Chief's good graces and it had taken me a lot of effort to make him stop glaring at me. This would completely piss him off. Not to mention that it was very unprofessional of me.

"Will you just calm down a little?" Edward finally said with a voice that sounded more coherent.

I threw him a brief glance. "Edward, they are going to kill me. I was supposed to lead rounds this morning."

I didn't even know when he got up from the couch and yelped when his hands came out of nowhere to restrain my frantically searching ones. I looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Calm the fuck down."

He held my gaze steadily and I took a deep breath.

"Are you calm now?" He asked, like he was talking to a small child.

I nodded.

"Good. Now, first of all, you have to fucking stop waking me up like this every time I sleep with you."

"When did I…" I started but he ignored me.

"Is it like some natural reaction to waking up next to me? To go into a complete state of panic as soon as your eyes open?"

"No! I'm just very late!" I said in a kind of whiny voice.

"Yeah you mentioned that. Doesn't mean you have to give me a goddamn heart attack over it."

I took a deep breath and let it out. He was right. He saw the forfeit in my face.

"Now, can you properly wish me a good fucking morning?"

I smiled and bit the side of my lips. "Good morning, Edward."

He smirked and pulled me closer to him by the wrists that he was still holding. "Good morning, Isabella."

When I was close enough so that our hands were trapped in between our chests, he leaned down and barely touched his lips to mine. My breath caught at the contact that barely registered on my skin but shot to deep inside my chest.

He brushed his lips to one side of mine, then to the other. He repeated this a few times, then puckered his lips and placed a solid kiss on one corner of my lips. He was still holding my wrists trapped in his hands and I whimpered to get closer to him.

He pulled back at the sound and looked in my eyes with a shy smile on his face. We recouped as we stared at each other then. It was a silent agreement. Last night had happened, and we were here. And we were ok.

I tugged at my wrists and he let them go. Immediately, I threw my arms around his neck and pulled his head down, while I simultaneously moved my body forward so it was pressed to his entirely. My lips went for his and were not gentle. I drank him in. I feasted on him. He was here.

He let out a tortured moan and pressed me further into him with his hands on my back and my neck.

After a few minutes of us taking turns in taking and giving, he pulled back and rested our noses heavily against each other, like we had done yesterday. This way, our lips were still almost touching as we panted and tried to control our breathing.

"You're really gonna go?" He asked in between pants.

"Where?" I asked hazily. My eyes were still closed.

"Work."

_Oh_.

"Shit." I mumbled and let out a long breath then pulled back from his face. I looked up at him and felt my heart clenching at the thought of being away from him.

"Don't go." He pulled me closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

I pressed my face into his neck. "I have to. They'll fire me if I keep screwing up."

He pulled back and looked at me again. "They won't. I'll buy the fucking hospital. You can come and go whenever you want."

The look on his face said that he was a hundred percent serious. I had to smile as I cupped his cheek.

"You are not buying the hospital. I am going to work and we will continue this as soon as I'm done."

I quickly kissed his cheek and then pulled away from him. As soon as I started walking away he grabbed my arm and made me spin around and bump right into his chest, trapping me there again.

"Isabella, don't leave."

His face looked so young and vulnerable, even though his voice was stern. I reached up and cupped his cheeks.

"I am not _leaving_. I'm going to work."

"I _just_ got you." His voice pleaded.

"Edward." I whimpered and pressed my face into his neck again. "I'll be home for the weekend. It's just today."

"Besides, you need to go pick up some clothes. These are totally ruined." I said with a smile as I ran my fingers through his wrinkled collar.

"And whose fault is that?" He said in a teasing voice.

I looked up and gave him a brilliant smile. "Mine." And I reveled in the knowledge that I had been granted permission to make this beautiful man so disheveled.

He made an amused face then kissed my smile. "Fine. Go to work. But come back the fucking moment you are done."

"Ok."

"I mean it, Isabella. The very motherfucking moment you are _done_." He squeezed me for good measure, to make his point clear.

I got up on my tiptoes and kissed his lips lightly. "O.K."

**A/N: 26 chapters…26 friggin chapters is what it took me to FINALLY end up at the part of the story that I was most excited to write about from the moment I started writing it…ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…the HEA of Dr. Swan and Beastward. **

**The road so far hasn't been easy…no, no, no. There have been evil butterflies, vacuum cleaners, strokes, mugging, cheating at monopoly, laughter, heartache, flirting, trying to show off the "good stuff", dancing, growling, cooking, pining, being covered in pink glitter, being tackled to the ground…you name it. And trust me, the road ahead of us isn't going to be just sunshine and roses either. But damn it all to hell if I am not going to enjoy writing this HEA! This friggin story owes me (and of course you guys too) some friggin gooooooooood times and I am going to dish out oodles of that, now that I finally can!**

**So from here on, I warn you for the risk of cavities (interlaced with hardships, of course…as is true for all HEA's in reality). Just tell me to rein myself in if I get out of hand. Lol.**

**And all the ridiculously kind words that you guys threw at me for the last few chappies? You are all so so so so so so kind to me and my amateur attempt at this whole thing. I am humbled beyond words.**

**Eternal thanks to jadalulu for making sure I stayed on my path until I got here :D**


	28. Hold her closer

_"__****__S_o hold her closer when she cries, hold her closer when she feels.

_**She needs a hand to hold, someone who will never let her go again.**_

_**And hold him closer when he tries to hold the tears back from his eyes."**_

_~ Blessid Union of Souls, "Hold Her Closer"_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

I lasted about 3 hours at work.

That was all I could take. By the end of it, my fingers were literally shaking from anxiety.

My entire world had been turned upside down last night, and the reason for it was in my apartment, waiting for me to come back to him after I finished my shift. The look of longing and anxiety on his face when he had finally released me from his hold outside the door of my apartment was etched into the back of my eyelids and kept gnawing at me. How had I left him behind? How could I possibly tear myself away from him when he had wanted me to be near?

I took in a deep ragged breath as I walked out the doors of the hospital and headed towards the subway station. The weight of this all consuming love I felt for him was taking me down with it. It was crushing me and kneading me and shattering me to pieces. I had left him standing in that hallway this morning, but I had left myself behind too. I realized this as soon as I had entered the hospital earlier. My heart had been pounding in my chest all morning and my chest felt heavy with the palpitations. My hands were jittery and I was sweating profusely. I was not myself. Because I had left myself behind in my apartment.

I was miserable the entire morning. As worried as I had been about being late, as soon as the Chief started glaring at me when I came in, I realized that I actually didn't care. It wasn't really what was important to me right then. The only thing that was important was back in my apartment.

So I had finally decided to give up and stop fighting it. There was no point in pretending that I was interested in working today. So I told the Chief I was feeling sick, ignored his extremely irritated glare and the warning in his eyes, and quickly changed out of my scrubs before lunch and was out the doors of the hospital before I knew it.

The weight in my chest kept growing as I sat in the subway, bouncing my legs involuntarily. The tips of my fingers tingled and I drummed them on my purse to calm them. An elderly lady sitting next to me threw me an annoyed look because of my restlessness but I just smiled a wide grin back at her.

There really wasn't anything else I cared about at that moment, other than the man waiting for me in my apartment. He was my one singular focus.

My stomach fluttered as I stepped out of the subway in my station. I stopped for a second and took in a deep breath just to try to ground myself. Then I took off towards my apartment in almost a sprint.

As I made my way through the throngs of people in the station and then on the streets, I vaguely remembered that Edward must have been hungry since last night. I slowed my steps a little, trying to think of whether or not I had the patience to make a trip to the grocery store first. I realized soon that I didn't. Food came far down on my list of priorities right then.

It felt as if every single nerve in my body was firing by the time I stepped into my apartment. Heat spread through my chest as I reveled in the knowledge that I was not walking into a cold and empty space that I called home. It was a place that was now filled with Edward's love for me that had dripped out of him every time his lips had puckered to touch my skin. With Edward's need for me every time his hands had ran their course on my back and pressed me to him, every look of his eyes that had begged me to stay with him. He loved me and he needed me. And it filled my house with warmth as much as it filled every single empty space inside of me.

I quickly walked through the apartment, my eyes desperate and my hurt fluttering and electricity running through my entire body. He wasn't in the living room or the kitchen, but one of his shoes was by the couch, his jacket was on the floor by the doorway of the kitchen. I picked up his jacket and threw it on the couch as I hastily made my way to the only remaining room of the apartment.

And I stopped and all the breath left my body in a whoosh. And all the electricity and nervousness left me instantly, as the sight in front of me calmed me like trickling summer rain. On the contrary, the heaviness in my chest – the one that was created by my all consuming love for him – increased a hundredfold.

My room was dark, even though it was only midday and it was relatively bright outside even though the sun was covered by the clouds. The blinds were drawn shut and the lights were off.

On the far right side of my bed was Edward, lying on his side, with his back to me. My purple comforter was pulled all the way up his body so that I could only see his mop of hair on one of my lavender pillows. His t-shirt was lying on the empty side of the bed, as well as his belt.

I walked around the foot of the bed and to the side that Edward was facing. My feet stopped of their own accord and I had to press my hands to my chest to try to calm some of the ache.

His face was the most serene I had ever seen. There were no tension lines, no furrowing of his brows. The comforter was tucked under his fists, which rested under his chin. All the muscles of his face were relaxed and a slight smile played on the corner of his lips. A few strands of his long hair were draped on his temple.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I watched Edward. I would move the heavens and the earth to keep that serenity on his face for as long as I lived.

I thought of leaving the room, to let him sleep on since he was obviously exhausted. I hadn't asked him on the details of when he had made up his mind to come to Seattle and what exactly he had read in Lizzie's journals that had made him come to this decision. I knew Edward. And I knew that he needed to take his time for talking to me about Lizzie and I was going to give him that. I would let him come to me about it when he was ready for it. And until then, I would be patient.

But I can only imagine the kind of struggle within himself he must have gone through to get to the moment yesterday when he had sat on my doorstep, waiting for me. I was angry with him for taking this long and I don't know if I would ever really let go of the slight bit of resentment because my love for him hadn't been enough for him to get here sooner. In the same way that I knew he would never be able to completely forgive me for having kept such a big secret from him for such a long time when we were such close friends.

But I also knew that it was alright for us to hold on to those things. The situation surrounding Edward and I had never been simple. They were anything but. We had been thrown together into this tangle of webs, woven by so many different layers of connections and history. He and I were connected through many of these layers. We were connected by my love for Lizzie and his hatred of her actions. By his mother's affections that were stolen away from him and were showered on me. Of me having a part in the most difficult part of her life when he had been denied that. We were connected by our mutual love for Sophie and the rest of his family. We were connected by my choice of profession and his distaste for what it stood for to him. We were connected by the unlikely friendship he and I had developed.

None of these connections between us were simple. And so, we each came with a lot of baggage into this. We both carried the weight of our pasts into this. Because I realized this, I wasn't naïve enough to think that things between us were just going to be simple and easy at all times. There were always going to be things we were going to be angry with each other about, that we would fight about and yell about.

But, in the last 24 hours, when my life had been turned upside down, I had come to a very important realization.

The situations and the hundreds of ways in which Edward and I were connected in were not easy and simple.

But Edward and I – together – were.

Just in the way that I had thrown myself at him in the middle of the rain, drenched in my anger and hurt over how he had abandoned me, because despite of all of it, he was mine and that was that. And in the same way that he had kissed me all night without still having talked to me about Lizzie and how he felt about my relationship with her.

Because at the end of the day, we were still just a boy and a girl, who fell in love with each other. The circumstances around us were difficult and trying, and it made our situation until this point difficult. But the love was simple. It was true and real and all consuming. How could it not be, considering how much adversity it had fought to get through and pull us out on the other side of it? So I knew in my heart, that no matter how trying our situation would be, our love for each other was what would always remain to be the simple part of our lives and pull us through the rest of it.

And so, yeah, he was exhausted. But I wasn't going to leave the room.

I walked to the side of the bed and sat down on the edge where Edward had left just a little space. My hip touched his forearm and his nose was inches from my thigh. I reached out with a hand and brushed the errant strands of hair from his temple.

I left my hand there and looked at the side of his beautiful face for a long time. I studied the edge of his eyebrows, the way his cheekbone rose, the dip of his chin, the line of his jaw. All so heartbreakingly beautiful. All those things that had gone so many years without being loved and cherished and treasured.

Seeing him lying in my bed, cuddled up into himself, he made me think of his 15 year old self, whose world had been turned upside down and who had not been happy ever since. Who had not allowed anyone to love him ever since, because he had been broken by the person he loved the most. And even though I too had broken him a few months ago, here he was, lying in my bed. And he had opened himself up all the way this time, allowing me to love him in a way that he hadn't let anyone else.

I didn't realize I was crying until the first tear drop fell on his cheek. Even if it was my tear, it made me feel like he was the one who was crying, all those years ago when he had been alone and abandoned, and all the years since. I let my tears flow without restraint and bent down to kiss the tear away from his cheek.

Once I touched my lips to his skin, I was unable to pull them back. So I started kissing the side of his face that I had access to. I kissed every inch that I could. From his hairline, down his temples, his cheeks, his jaw, the corner of his lips, the side of his nose, the corner of his eye, his eyebrow. I didn't need to think of it consciously, but I knew that from here on, I would always make sure that he knew how lovable he was, how much he was cherished and treasured. He had given me the opportunity to love him and I would not disappoint him. I would love him with everything in me.

Edward started to stir, even though my kisses were feather light. I think it was more the tear drops that I was spilling all over his face that was waking him from his deep slumber. His heavy breathing slowed and became shallower.

I stopped kissing him and rested my forehead on his temple, as I draped on arm around his shoulder and ran my fingers through his hair. My eyes were open and fixed on his face, waiting for him to wake up.

"Mmm…" He mumbled and moved his face forward, nuzzling the side of my thigh with his nose. I moved my face too, so that my forehead still rested on the side of his temple. I pressed another kiss to his cheek to make him wake up, this time making it more firm. I watched as the corner of his lip turned up a little and he untucked his hand from under his chin and draped it around my waist.

"Wake up, Edward." I whispered into his ear.

"Mmmm…" He mumbled again and then burrowed himself into me, so that his head and shoulders were lying on my lap and his arms were wrapped around my waist. He pressed himself further so that his face was pressed into my stomach, his nose right on my bellybutton.

"I am back." I whispered as I leaned down and pressed kisses into the side of his head.

Finally he turned his face and looked up at me, his head resting on my lap, his eyes still groggy with sleep and unfocused, but a serene smile on his dry lips.

"You came back?" He asked with a groggy voice.

I smiled and nodded as I ran a finger on his bottom lip.

"Thank you." He said in such an earnest way that it made my heart clench again, the heaviness returning.

His eyes cleared and he was wide awake as we stared at each other.

"What time is it?" He asked without moving.

"Around lunch." I said while I ran a finger up and down the curve of his shoulder. The comforter had fallen away from his torso as he had moved to my lap and he was now bare down to his waist.

"They let you go?"

"I didn't give them much choice." I shrugged as I traced the point where his collarbone joined his shoulder joint.

He moved his hand and placed it over mine and stopped the tracing, so that I would look at him. "Did you leave because I made you feel bad about leaving me this morning?"

I shook my head. "I left because everything outside of this apartment seemed very futile and didn't hold my attention. It's not fair to the patients if my heart is somewhere else."

He reached up with his hand and placed it behind my head, then tugging me down until I met his lips with mine. He kissed me slowly and gently, but I had too many emotions that had built up within me. I caught his bottom lip into mine and ran my tongue over it while pressing the side of his face to get him further into me. He made a tortured sound and pulled me down and turned us over so that we were lying face to face on the bed, kissing languidly, our tongues stroking each other and both of us holding the other's face with our hands.

When he pulled back he had a frown on his face as he lightly licked his lips. "You have been crying."

"No I haven't." I shook my head quickly.

"I can taste the salt on your lips. Stop lying to me." His face went from concerned to angry in seconds.

For some reason, I liked seeing him this way. Angry because he was concerned about me. So I decided to push him a little. "I was eating a salted pretzel earlier. That's probably why."

He gave me a no nonsense look and then did something that I would never see coming. He leaned forward and reached out with his tongue and swiped it over my cheek. I squealed at the sensation as it shot straight into my center. However, I don't think that was the reaction Edward was going for because when he pulled back he looked furious.

"You've had tears all over your face. Stop fucking lying to me."

"Did you just lick me?" I said incredulously.

"Why the fuck were you crying, Isabella?" He ignored my question.

"Stop trying to change the subject, Edward. Did you really just lick me?"

He grabbed my arms with his hands and brought his face to rest inches from mine. "My world just moved from its fucking axis last night, Isabella. I am happier than I ever thought it was possible to be. You are the reason for it and you were _crying._" He clenched his teeth as he said the last word.

"Tell me right fucking now why before I go crazy. Tell me why you were sad. Did I make you sad?" His eyes implored me and searched my face.

Once again, I felt the tears rising in my eyes and they spilled over the edges before I even had a chance to register them. This man, who I loved with all my being, loved me back more than I ever thought anyone could. And that desperate look was on his face because he was worried he had made me sad.

I kissed his lips once and then pulled back.

"I was crying because I am happy. I am happier than I ever thought I could be. And it becomes too much for my heart to handle, so it spills over."

He rubbed his thumbs over my tears and frowned. "Make it spill over in smiles instead. I don't like these."

"I'll try." I smiled through my tears and he smiled in return.

"You're in my bed. On my purple sheets." I said through my smile, with a giddy tone to my voice.

He shrugged as his thumb kept running over my cheeks. "It smells like you."

I bit the corner of my lips to stop the smile from getting wider. "Is that a good thing?"

He raised an eyebrow in surprise. "It's a _very_ good thing."

I scooted closer to him and ran my nose up and down his jaw without touching him anywhere else. "I have always liked the way _you_ smell."

Edward's breathing quickened. "How do I smell?" He said in a strained voice.

"Like home." I whispered and dropped a kiss on his jaw. Edward took in a deep breath and let it out very slowly. I felt his mood shifting and pulled back to look at him.

His eyes had softened and his face looked pained. "I need to say a few things to you. I need to make sure you know some things beyond a shadow of a doubt."

He scooted backwards a little so we could look at each other properly. We still lay side by side but were no longer touching. I understood that whatever he was going to say was important to him so I nodded for him to continue.

His jaw clenched and unclenched a couple of times before he spoke.

"I should have known that you would never hurt me on purpose. You will never know how fucking sorry I am for the past few months. I cannot even begin to tell you."

Tears rose to my eyes and spilled down the side of my temple onto the pillow. As much as I wanted to clear the air between us, hearing the pain in his voice and knowing that I had anything to do with it was unbearable. I wanted nothing than to bring happiness and joy to this man.

His face contorted and he reached out a hand to rub the tears away. He seemed to have understood that there was no way for me to stop them at this point.

He kept his eyes on the tears that were spilling on the pillow as he spoke.

"I can't fucking believe you are still here. After all the ways I hurt you. And all you did was try to love us. You only tried to love us." He looked up at me, his eyes imploring mine.

"It must have been so hard for you. Having to see us and being reminded of…everything. And to have to hide it when you didn't want to. And I was such an asshole! Why didn't you just leave?"

He asked me like he genuinely didn't know the answer. Was he crazy? I swallowed the lump in my throat and spoke through my tears.

"I couldn't. You were all so broken. And so was I. But I was supposed to be there." My voice croaked as I spoke.

His eyes flashed with anger. "No you weren't. You were supposed to be like every other motherfucking teenager and go out on Friday nights, not spend them with a sick dying woman. You were supposed to tell me and my family to fuck off when I acted like an asshole with you, not be stuck there because you felt responsible for the things she fucked up. You were not supposed to deal with the burden of her own motherfucking family that she abandoned."

His face burned with his anguish and I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed up and sat on the bed with my legs crossed under me, looking down at him intently.

"No. I was never supposed to do any of those things. Do you know why? Because you aren't just _her_ family. You are all as much mine as you are hers. I don't care that I am not linked to you by blood. You are the greatest gift she has ever given me."

His eyes softened and took a deep breath, as if he couldn't believe what I was saying. Finally, he got up too and sat with his knees bent, his arms resting on them as he looked at me.

"But I hurt you. So many times."

I shook my head quickly. "Those things didn't hurt me the way you are thinking, Edward. They hurt because you were hurting. I knew that you were hurting. Even the first time I met you at the hospital. I saw how much she had hurt you. I saw how you carried around that pain inside, and how the world never saw your anger for the pain that it really was. I knew that day just how wrong she was, thinking you were better off."

He looked down at his arms as I spoke, his brow furrowed in concentration. He stayed that way for a long time, then a sad smile played on the corner of his lips.

"I read that you used to worry about me."

I stayed quiet for a long time, wondering how to continue. I knew that he probably wouldn't want to talk about Lizzie now. But he was talking about the part of her journals where she had written about how I used to worry most about her youngest son, the one that seemed so dependent on her for affection.

"I did. I still do." I said quietly.

He turned his face to look at me and his face was again contorted in pain. "You always knew when I hurt, but I didn't know when you were hurting."

"It's ok. You are here now." I said with smile.

"I am. And…" His eyes flickered away from mine.

"What?" I moved my face so he was looking at me again.

"I can't…" He took a deep breath. "I can't go anywhere else now. I can't be anywhere else. There _is_ nowhere else, Isabella." His eyes pleaded with me, his arms still resting on his knees, but his fists clenching and unclenching.

I saw the truthfulness of his words in every single inch of his face. And if I ever had any shard of doubt in my mind, any fear of being alone, of being without him, it all disappeared as in this moment, I became certain of his commitment to this. To me.

I knew what his words meant, because I felt it too.

I reached out and took one of his hands in mine and brought it to my lap. I needed to touch him and feel him touching me.

My eyes swam with tears as I finally looked up at him. "Then don't ever go anywhere else."

He took in a quick breath as he kept studying my face. His gaze was so intent that I had to look away. I focused on the veins on the back of his hand and traced them with my fingers.

"You don't want someone more normal?" He spoke finally and I looked up to see him still looking at me.

I frowned in confusion and waited for him to explain further. He looked down at our joined hands on my lap and frowned as he spoke.

"Someone whose very definition of happiness doesn't depend entirely on you? Someone whose world doesn't start and stop with you? Someone who doesn't think you are the only good thing left on this goddamn planet?"

Now I was even more confused. "Isn't that what every girl wants? A guy who is totally and completely devoted?" I asked in a dumb way. What was I missing here?

He sighed and kept his eyes on our hands, his other arm still resting on his knee. "This is also a guy who is totally and completely dependent on you for his happiness and his sanity."

"Oh. Maybe I have to think this through one more time then." I chuckled at how ridiculous what he was saying was. But he ignored my joke and sighed heavily.

"That's a heavy burden to bear, Isabella. To be the center of another person's universe. To be their only source of joy."

I saw what he was doing. He was trying to warn me.

I kneeled on the bed and moved forward until my chest was flush against the side of his thigh. I took his face in my hands, then kissed his lips softly before pulling back and looking at him intently, so he would know the truth behind every single one of my words.

"You are not a burden, Edward. You were always mine to care for and provide happiness for and to protect and keep away from harm's way."

His gripped my forearms and his eyes glistened.

"You're not going to regret this later?"

I bent forward and hugged him fully, resting my head on his shoulder. The feel of his naked skin against my cheeks and my arm was beyond anything I had ever felt. He was smooth and firm. He was beautiful. He was home.

"The only thing I will regret is not being able to be there all those years ago. So I could hold you together all this time. So you wouldn't have to go through all that alone."

He pulled me away from him and gripped my forearms so it almost hurt. "So you are sure? We are doing this?"

I had to laugh as I nodded and buried my face in his neck this time. I stayed that way for a long time, running my hand up and down his chest. Feeling him under my touch. Getting to know this part of him. I felt him shiver lightly under my touch at times.

"Just so you know, you never really had any other options. You were always mine. It was only a matter of time before you gave in." I said after a long moment of silence.

I felt his chuckle and lifted my face to look at him. The sadness was starting to be replaced with the face of someone who knew that he was no longer alone.

"I believe I gave in a long time before you did, Dr. Swan." His eyes were shining with happiness and mischief and the pain from moments ago was starting to disappear.

I smirked and hid my face in his neck again. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really? You're just going to pretend that you didn't notice any of it?"

"Notice what?" I tried to keep up a bit longer.

"I pranced around you in a mother fucking towel, for god's sake. I even tried to give you a peek at the good stuff but you wouldn't look my way. You really needed more hints?"

"Edward!" I slapped his chest hard and he laughed out loud. I rubbed at the spot right after.

"You should've seen how red you were." He said as he finally reached out and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I sighed contently as I felt him start to relax more and more. I continued our banter, which seemed to ease him.

"You are so bad. If you knew I was embarrassed why did you keep being so obnoxious?"

"I was trying to get you to realize your feelings for me."

"_Realize_ my feelings for you? You are so full of yourself! What made you so sure that I had feelings for you back then?"

He frowned and seemed very concerned as he looked down at me. "You really didn't get a peek at the good stuff, did you?"

I grumbled and hit him again while he laughed freely.

"Just saying…you wouldn't be asking me that otherwise."

I let him keep laughing at my expense, secretly reveling in the sound of his precious laughter that I heard so rarely.

We quieted down for a little while before I spoke. "I did though."

"You did what?"

"Have feelings for you back then."

"I know that now." I heard the smile in his voice.

His hand ran up to my neck and he rubbed the spot just below my scalp. When his fingers came into contact with the chain that hung there he pulled back a little and looked at it then up at me.

"Were you wearing this last night too?" He asked as he brought his hand between us and fingered the locket that he and Sophie had gotten me on my birthday.

I sighed and traced the lines of the locket over his fingers. "I haven't taken it off since I came here."

He leaned down and kissed it gently then looked up at me. "May I?"

I smiled, remembering that I had stopped him from opening it the last time he asked. I nodded.

He opened it to see the picture of Sophie on one side, and the one of him that I had put it afterwards. He looked at me with a question in his eyes and I answered before he asked it.

"It was there the last time you wanted to open it."

He looked at my eyes in wonder for a while before looking back down on the locket again. A shy smile played on his lips as he rubbed his fingers over the picture of himself, and as I watched the open locket in his fingers, I knew what I needed at that moment. I knew what was missing since Edward had returned to my life. The only thing from three months ago that still hadn't been returned to me.

I grabbed Edward's hand to still it and he looked up at me.

"I need to see Sophie."

His eyes softened even more than they already were. "You will. I told her I would try to bring you back."

"No, you don't understand. Right now. I want to see her as soon as possible. Call for your jet." I got up and tugged on his hand to make him get up.

"Isabella, come back to bed." He tugged me backwards, but I didn't cave.

"Edward. I'm serious. I –" He cut me off.

"I am too. Right now, I want some food and I want to kiss you properly. Then we need to talk about what we are going to do next in a calm way and while we do that, I want a few days when I have you all to myself. You also need the time to take time off from work. Sophie will be there whenever you come back to LA. There is no need for you to hijack my jet right at this moment."

"No, Edward. You don't understand. I don't care about any of it anymore. I want you, I want Sophie, and I want the rest of my family. I will figure out everything else afterwards. I have to first make sure I still have her, that she will forgive me too."

He suddenly tugged hard on my arm and I tumbled into the bed. He hovered above me as soon as I landed on my back and his eyes were ravenous.

"I like it when you call us your family."

I reached up and ran a hand through his hair. "You are. Please, take me to her."

"What about your work?"

"I don't care. Take care of it."

A smirk came on his lips and he brushed his nose against mine. "Why, Dr. Swan. Are you suggesting I donate another wing to that dump?"

"I don't care what you do. Just take me back to LA."

He took my face in his hands and looked down at me intently. "You would just give up everything? Just like that?"

I ran my hands up his sides and let myself feel that part of him for the first time. His eyes closed for a second and then he opened them again, his gaze blazing. "I have everything right here. The rest is just accessories."

He took in a sharp breath and brought his lips down to mine. They were hungry and possessive as he claimed my mouth. I ran my hands up and down his bare sides and felt him shiver and become more insistent. Then his tongue reached into my mouth and I moaned deeply when I felt it touching mine. I clawed at his sides as the taste of him drove me crazy.

He finally pulled back and kissed the side of my neck as he spoke.

"I want a few days of just us."

I tugged on his hair to make him look at me.

"I'm not going anywhere. I am coming home with you."

"That fucking she-devil is going to take up all your time." He murmured as he kissed a line from my jaw to my chin.

"I think boyfriends have first dibs on time before best friends."

He pulled back so he could look at me. His eyes were alight. "Is that what I am?"

I shook my head. "You are much more. But if we have to call it something…"

He covered my lips with his again before I could continue, and once again, we were done talking.

**A/N: Ginormous hugs and squishy kisses to y'all for all the great reviews! Thank you to everyone who takes time to read this story and on top of that tell me what they think. It is a very humbling experience to read each review.**

**I haven't been able to reply them all but I try my best to get to as many of them as I possibly can…which usually means I am typing on my iPhone on the train back and forth from the hospital. So yeah…sorry for the typos in my replies…damn autocorrect function.**

**Oh also, YankeeDiva's review that was up on the SoS site got selected by the TwificPimps to be featured in their "Hump Your Readers Wednesday" feature. That to me is the ultimate proof of how awesome my readers are! Yaayyy!**

**Oh and my beta, my ff soulmate, my poster lady Jadalulu… I don't know how many different ways I can tell you this in…but I f'ing love you, girlie. We have such fun times ahead of us!**


	29. Bring me home

"_**Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again."  
**__~ Dag Hammarskjold_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

Later that evening, Edward and I sat in the Cullen Inc. jet, eating dessert after our "in-flight" dinner. Well, _I_ ate dessert. Edward's attention was elsewhere.

We sat in one of the corner seats of the empty jet. The lights had been dimmed down, only a single spotlight over our heads illuminating the space. The crew had been explicitly instructed to "stay the hell out of the cabin" during the entire length of the flight once they had served us food. Edward had waited for all of three minutes, watching me from the seat across from mine, before unbuckling his seatbelt and making me get up so he could sit on my seat. I was currently curled up on his lap, my back to his chest, my legs tucked under me, while I tried to eat my crème brulée. Edward's hands were on my sides and he was pressing soft kisses between my shoulder blades, making the task of swallowing very difficult.

He had been like this all day. Ever since our talk this morning, when we had cleared the air and addressed our greatest fears, and I had assured him that we were indeed doing "this". He had been constantly touching me, his hands never leaving me except when I went to the bathroom, and his lips staying connected to my face or head or shoulders or neck at any given moment possible. It had been quite a feat trying to pack a bag with another human being physically attached to me, but I had finally succeeded.

Not that I was complaining. Far from it. If it hadn't been for my anxiety to see Sophie, I don't know how Edward and I would have disconnected our lips during this day that was filled with so much emotion for both of us. The thoughts of Sophie were the only reason I had been able to tear away from him and focus on getting ready to leave instead of devouring him without pause.

Now that I was sitting on his lap though, his lips had found a new part of me to discover other than the immediate vicinity of my head and face. And my shoulder blades and the space between them were busy experiencing their personal piece of heaven that was delivered by his puckered lips and the way that he kept rubbing his nose there.

My eyes fell on his untouched plate of dinner and I let out a shuddering breath that was meant to be a sigh.

"Edward, please eat something." I reached for his hand on my side and gave it a little squeeze as I implored for the hundredth time.

"Isabella, I'm busy. Stop fucking nagging me." His voice was raspy and unfocused. Like he wasn't really paying any attention to what I was saying.

I let out a sigh and turned a little sideways so I could look at him over my shoulder.

"You haven't eaten anything since lunch. You must be hungry." As I moved, he lost access to my shoulder blades, but then his lips found purchase on the top of my arm and he started placing kisses there instead. He wouldn't even look up at me.

"Edward." I waited.

He finally looked up, and his eyes came to focus as they met mine. It looked like he just remembered something he had been neglecting for a while as he suddenly pulled my face down to his and started kissing me. He started by gently running our lips against each other, and escalated gradually to more firm kisses. Then he parted his lips and drew my bottom one into his mouth and massaged it with his own. Once his tongue ran over my bottom lip in his mouth, I lost the battle with myself where I was trying to be "good", as per his instructions. I tried to turn in his lap so I could get closer to him, but his hands held my hips in place, immobilizing me. I tried again, a bit more forcefully this time, but his fingers dug into my hips.

"Quit fucking squirming. You wanted me to eat, I'm eating." He said forcefully, releasing my lip for a second then giving me a stern look.

I rolled my eyes, ignoring the thumping of my heart and the pants. "I meant food."

"I _am_ eating food. I like the taste of that crème brulée." His lips lifted up in a smirk.

"You do?" I saw my chance and quickly brought the bowl of my dessert between us, holding a spoonful up to his mouth. At least he would get some calories in him this way. "Here, have some."

He took the spoon from my hand and then his eyes glimmered as he brought it to my lips. "I don't want it from a spoon. I want it from here."

_Oh._

My eyes widened and my heart started to thump again. The Edward that had been stuck to me all day today, the one kissing me between my shoulder blades earlier, was a soft and affectionate one. A grown up version of the 15 year old that needed to be loved. But this one with the mischievous glimmer in his eyes wasn't a boy. It was a 27 year old man who knew what he wanted and stated his demands just like he had done now.

The boy I knew how to handle. The boy brought out my protective instincts and made me shower him with affection. The boy put me in control.

The man made me nervous and terrified and excited. The man had total and complete control.

I parted my lips to the man. He smirked and placed the spoon inside.

As soon as the spoon left my mouth, his lips were devouring mine, his tongue in my mouth. I had made sure that the dessert was at the tip of my tongue and plunged it towards him. He took it greedily as his tongue lapped at mine.

When he finally pulled back his eyes twinkled with victory.

"That shit tastes good."

I smirked and tried to make my voice sound less breathy. "Let's make sure to pass on our compliments to the chef."

He turned me a bit more towards him and leaned further in so that the top of our chests were touching as his mouth travelled up my neck, placing firm kisses along the way.

"Somehow, I don't think it's the chef that deserves the compliment."

When his mouth was up to my chin, I turned my face downwards so I could take his lips with mine and we once again started the gentle dance of our lips against one another. Edward let out a heavy sigh and his breath spread all over my face, making me shiver. He must have felt it because his hands left my hips and rubbed over my arms, warming me, creating friction.

Just then the lights of the cabin came on and I instantly tore myself away from him as I heard a voice clear behind me.

"Why are you-" Edward gave me a perturbed look before his eyes snapped up to whoever stood behind me.

The softness in his eyes was immediately replaced by utter irritation and fury. His jaw clenched, and he stilled his hands on my arms.

"Did I or did not ask to be left the fuck alone?" His voice was cold and menacing as he looked at the person above my head, so different from what I had been hearing for the past two days.

I turned to look at the poor recipient of his fury, and saw one of the cabin attendants standing there with a terrified look on her face.

"I apologize, Mr. Cullen. The pilot is going to start our descent and he asked me to ask you to return to your seats so we can prepare for landing, sir."

His eyes boiled over in outrage.

"I don't give a _fuck_ what the fucking pilot-" He started, his eyes lighting with fury, getting ready to unleash the full wrath of the beast on this poor girl. I took pity on her and placed my hands on his chest, causing him to stop mid-sentence and snap his eyes to me.

I smiled at him to let him know it was ok and then turned my head to the cabin attendant. "It's alright. Thank you for letting us know. Just give us a minute, ok?"

"Yes, of course, Ma'am." She quickly reached for the left over dinner dishes on our table and fumbled over them, dropping several items and apologizing profusely each time. I could feel Edward growing more furious every second she interrupted our time together, and ran my hands lightly up and down his chest to soothe him. When she had gathered everything, she scrambled out of the cabin at top speed and I turned to Edward to see him glaring at her retreating form.

"Fucking incompetent idiots." He growled at her and I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips. His eyes snapped to mine at the sound of it and immediately softened. The rest of his face was still stiff with anger, and it made him look kind of comical…this half angry, half amused expression he had going on.

"Is something funny to you right now, Isabella?" He tried to make his voice all stern and angry.

I shook my head quickly from side to side, my ponytail whipping around my face.

"Are you trying to be cute?"

"No. I'm not trying. But you are."

I kissed the top of his nose and jumped off his lap to take the seat opposite to him. His arm reached out and grabbed me around the waist.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

"Somewhere where I can buckle my own seatbelt so that I don't die in case we crash."

"Come back here. I wasn't done kissing you before that imbecile came and interrupted."

He tugged on my waist, making me fall on his lap awkwardly. "You don't need a fucking seatbelt. I'll hold you to me."

I leaned down and kissed him softly. "I'm right here."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

As soon as I stepped out of the jet, my eyes widened in surprise as I took in the sight about a hundred meters away from us. There was Edward's BMW, a black limo, and Alice and Jasper's Porsche parked along the runway. And next to the Porsche were Alice and Jasper. Alice's entire body was buzzing with energy and Jasper had an arm around her shoulder to keep her in place. Edward gave me a little push on my back because I had come to a stop and was grinning widely at them. I had barely given him a smile and turned back to them when Alice broke free of Jasper's grasp and was sprinting towards us. I laughed and then bounded down the steps of the jet's door ahead of Edward.

"Pffffff," I exclaimed loudly as Alice crossed the last few feet between us and crashed into me. Next came the boulder crushing hug that squeezed out whatever air was left in my lungs after the initial impact.

I tried to get out some words but only mangled sounds came out.

"Get off of her, you crazy witch! You are fucking crushing her!" Edward's arms came from beside me and tried to pry Alice's arms away.

She pulled back her head a little and then narrowed her eyes at him. She still hadn't said a word to me though.

"You saved yourself a lot of pain by not coming back alone, jerkwad. I'd have sent your ass packing back to Seattle this very moment otherwise."

Edward rolled his eyes as he kept at his efforts at trying to pull her away. She was freakishly strong to be able to resist him for so long.

"Yeah, it was totally for your benefit that she's here." He said with so much dryness in his tone that I giggled despite of my lack of oxygen.

Alice looked up at me and flashed me a wide smile. "Hi Alice." I said with a smile back. This time her face fell a little and she pressed herself to me again, hiding her face in my shoulder. Her grip around me loosened but this hug was much more heartfelt. I brought my arms around and hugged her back.

"Thanks for coming back, Isabella. I promise I will keep the asshole in check so he doesn't give you too much trouble." Her voice broke a little in the end and I smiled at the affection behind her words.

"What the fuck ever." I heard Edward mumble behind me and I found myself feeling relieved that things hadn't changed much around here.

Then Jasper walked up to right behind Alice and grabbed her by the waist, lifting her away from me and placing her beside himself.

"You ok?" He asked me with his ever concerned voice while glancing between me and Edward, and I knew he was asking me about much more than the effect of his wife's boulder crushing hug. I nodded and smiled at him, letting him see the joy that was flowing through me at that moment. His own eyes melted and his lips quirked up into a brilliant smile as he leaned down and grabbed me around the waist, lifting me up as he hugged me tight.

"Missed ya, Izzy-boo," he said softly into my ear with so much love that I felt my eyes getting misty.

When he put me down I saw that Alice's eyes were also tearing up as she watched us hug and I threw my arms around both of them, hugging them tight.

"I love you two so much." I said, and I meant it. They had been more than any sibling I could ever have wished for. They had given me their love and care and support. And they had brought me to Edward.

We stayed that way for a while until Jasper cleared his throat and pulled back, trying to wipe a tear away inconspicuously.

"Aww Jazzy!" Alice cooed at him and ran a hand down his cheek. I chuckled and got up on my tiptoes to kiss his other cheek.

"Ok, ok. Let's break up this little party and get you kids home." Jasper gurgled deep in his throat and tried to emit some manly sounds as he spoke. Then he looked at Edward who was still standing a few feet behind me. "Ed, which car do you wanna take? I had them bring your car too if you want that."

Alice grabbed my arm and started walking towards the Porsche, ignoring the guys' exchange. "Alright, Isabella. It will take us about an hour to get home and you will fill me in on EVERYTHING on the way."

Jasper snickered then shrugged as he followed us. "I guess we're taking the Porsche then."

Alice kept chattering away loudly, issuing threats of what she would do to me if I tried to keep things from her, and I looked behind me to make sure Edward was still there. My heart clenched at what I saw.

He was walking in the opposite direction, towards his BMW, his shoulders slouched, his head down. Both Alice and Jasper were laughing about something she had just said and they hadn't noticed him walking away either. I came to a stop and they stopped too, looking at me questioningly.

"Alice, I promise to answer every one of your questions when we get to the house. But I'll see you back there, ok?"

I looked at Edward once, and they followed my gaze. Alice rolled her eyes in Edward's direction, muttering "drama queen" under her breath while Jasper gave him a wistful look. I gave each of their arms a squeeze then sprinted towards the stupid boy.

"Hey!" I yelled when I was a few feet away from him and he turned around with wide eyes. The pain on his face that he tried to hide about knocked me back right then.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Where do you think you are going?" I asked back.

"We won't all fit into that thing." He threw a steely glance towards the Porsche then looked at me impassively.

I couldn't believe him.

"And what made you think I would get into it without you?"

His eyes widened and the impassive mask he was wearing fell away. I shook my head in indignation.

"Really, Edward? You thought I was going to be able to stay away from you for the entire ride home?" I said in an exasperated voice.

His eyes flashed with something and the pain disappeared from his face completely, being replaced by a look of triumph. He walked up to me with purposeful steps, crossing the few feet between us with fierce strides. I opened my mouth to say something more but was interrupted as he grabbed the back of my neck and crashed our lips together. I placed my hands on his arms to steady myself from the force of the impact and his other hand went around my waist to hold me to him.

He kissed me thoroughly before pulling back and looking at me intently.

"Thank you," he said then placed one more kiss on my lips.

"For what?" I asked while trying to regain my breathing.

"For choosing me."

I sucked in a quick breath at his words. He wasn't only talking about choosing to ride with him instead of with Alice and Jasper.

I ran both my hands through his hair, then brought them to rest on his cheeks. "Always, Edward. Every single time."

Edward pressed his hands on top of mine and then brought his face to mine again, kissing me until I was breathless again. Finally, he grabbed one of my hands and started pulling me towards the BMW. I yanked him towards the limo instead and he gave me a curious look.

I shrugged. "I don't want you to drive. I want you to be able to hold me."

And he did. Throughout the car ride home. We sat in the backseat, Edward next to the window, me curled up on his side, my arm around his waist, my head on his shoulder.

I sighed as I looked out the window and saw the Californian landscape whip by, and Edward looked down at me in question.

"I was thinking of the last time I arrived to California and drove down these roads. My life was so different."I told him.

Then I held him a little tighter as the next words left my lips. "I was alone."

His hold around me tightened and he pulled me further into him. He put his hand behind my legs and brought my folded knees onto his lap. "You are not anymore." He breathed into my hair.

I pulled my face back and looked at him, making sure he was listening to my words very carefully. I wondered how much love it would take to make him believe the words.

"Neither are you."

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

When the car went through the wrought iron gates of the Cullen mansion, I looked around us and took in the surroundings like I had done the first time Alice and Jasper had brought me here. Since then, I had driven up this road so many times, but for the first time today, I was coming here without any secrets. Completely myself, with nothing more to hide. With no heavy burden of the past weighing me down.

I smiled to myself when I thought about the irony of it all. How the first time I had come here, I had been reluctant to do so _because_ of Edward, and how _he_ was the reason I was coming back this time. How he had hated my presence here back then, but was now clinging on to me tightly, with his lips pressed to my forehead as he brought me back to his home.

I was no longer coming to the Cullens as Dr. Swan, as I had been in their minds back then. Or Lizzie's Bella, as it had been in my mind. Now, I was only Edward's Isabella.

When the car finally came around the fountain and pulled up to the mansion though, my hold on his arm was tight, and my heart was hammering in my chest. When the car came to a stop, I climbed out after Edward and let go of his arm, holding on to the car door instead as I looked towards the house.

Alice and Jasper had arrived ahead of us, their Porsche parked a little down the driveway. Jasper stood just outside the house, looking at Edward and smiling widely. Carlisle stood on the doorsteps leading up to the main entrance, with Alice next to him, her arms wrapped around his waist and her head resting on his chest as she watched us come out of the car with a happy expression. I finally looked at Carlisle, who had an arm wrapped lovingly around Alice's shoulder. The relief and the love that poured out of him as he looked at me were overwhelming. Edward had taken a few steps towards the house before noticing that I had stopped, and he turned around and held out his hand, waiting for me to walk up to him.

I took in a deep breath and was completely unable to stop my tears from falling at this point.

This family that I had hurt so much. That I had lied to and kept secrets from. Whose lives I had made even more miserable in the past three months than they had been before I showed up.

They stood there, outside the doors of their house. Their eyes full of forgiveness. And acceptance. And not only that, they actually looked happy. So happy.

This family who I had thought to be mine for so long, but could never before call them to be so. This family that I loved. And that apparently loved me back.

At that moment, their loving eyes only made me feel more guilty. How could I have hurt them so?

I swallowed a few times and then closed the car door, taking a step towards the house. I looked each of them in the eye once before speaking. I had to say this before I entered their house again.

"I am sorry I lied to you all."

Edward took a step towards me but I gave him a wry smile through my tears, telling him it was ok. Then I looked at Carlisle.

"Thank you for forgiving me. And for letting me come back."

I couldn't stand to look at their eyes anymore, so I looked away.

Carlisle let out a heavy sigh then disentangled himself from Alice's arms before coming down the steps. First, he went to Edward and took his face in his hands and kissed his head, who put up no fight in return. Then he came to stand right in front of me and put his hands on my arms, waiting for me to look up at him.

His eyes brimmed with tears and he had a brilliant smile on his face as he wiped my tears.

"Welcome home, darling."

Then his arms were around my shoulders and he had pulled me into his chest in a tight hug. My sobs now came violently as I clung to him and cried into his shirt, feeling relieved beyond words as every piece of my life started to fall into place.

Well, _almost_ every piece.

When I finally pulled away from Carlisle, and he and I both wiped my tears from my face, I looked behind him to make sure Edward knew I was ok and that's when I caught sight of her. Standing just inside the front door of the house, reaching up with her little hand to hold on to the door handle, like I had done to the car door a few minutes ago.

My little bumble bee.

Half of her body was hidden behind the door and her eyes were cautious as she watched me intently, occasionally throwing a glance towards Edward.

Her hair was longer than it had been last I saw her. And she had grown at least an inch.

Carlisle put an arm around me and waved her over. "Aren't you going to say hi to your fairy, darling?"

She looked at Edward immediately and they shared some sort of a look. He nodded at her with a solemn look and she tentatively took a few steps forward, coming down the steps. I took a few steps towards her in the meantime, and as soon as she saw me approaching she changed her course and stepped towards Alice, who was now standing with Jasper's arm wrapped around her as she quietly shed tears. Sophie held her arms out to Alice, asking to be picked up, and Alice looked at me with a sad look as she took Sophie up in her arms.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a few more steps towards them, coming to a stop right in front of Alice. Sophie had her arms around Alice's neck and she hid her face in her shoulder as I approached.

"Hi Sophie." I said in a whisper, my voice trembling with my love for her, and with the feeling of loss that took hold of me because I was responsible for the distance Sophie had put between us in this moment.

She turned her head slightly and looked at Edward as she whispered back. "Hi Bella."

She wasn't even looking at me. I tried to hold back my tears but there was no point. I opened my mouth to try to talk to her again but she beat me to it.

"I am sleepy, Aunt Alice." She said quietly into Alice's neck. Alice looked between me and Edward a few times and I gave her a nod, letting her know that I was ok. She turned around and went into the house, with Sophie clinging to her. I caught Sophie stealing glances at me while Alice carried back, and the cautious look in her eyes was breaking my heart to pieces. Jasper came beside me and squeezed my shoulders once before giving me a reassuring smile.

"She'll come around. Give her some time."

Carlisle came to stand on my other side. "Let's get you all inside, darling. You must be tired from the trip."

I gave each of them a weak smile but then turned all the way around, in the direction that my heart and my entire body felt a tug towards. The source of the tug was standing in the driveway, his eyes fixed on me with a sad look.

I don't know why but I felt like I owed Edward an explanation. Like I had failed terribly at something and now needed to apologize for it.

I walked towards him while Jasper and Carlisle silently went inside, probably sensing my need to be alone with him. He stood with his hands in his pockets as he watched me approach him, but took them out and let them rest on his sides as I got closer.

I came to a stop a few steps away from him and looked down at the ground. Then suddenly his arms were on my shoulders, urging me to look up at him.

"Stop. It's not your fucking fault. It's mine. I shouldn't have told her you didn't exist. I thought I had prepared her enough when I told her before I left that I'd try to bring you back. Guess that didn't work." He threw a wary glance at the door behind me, where she had disappeared into.

"You wouldn't have to say anything if it wasn't for me." I told him with a dejected voice. His eyes returned to mine and were hard.

"Isabella, I mean it. I won't have you looking like that." His face was stern and he was getting irritated. I looked away from him but he held my chin and made me look at him.

"I am going to go upstairs and talk to her. She'll be fine after I have explained things to her."

I looked at him with pleading eyes and his brows furrowed. "What?" He asked.

"Can I talk to her myself?" It felt like I was asking for so much. For something that no longer belonged to me.

Edward's face relaxed into a wistful look and I quickly rushed to explain. "I promise I won't upset her. If she even _starts_ to get upset, I will leave. I just don't want you to fix this by using your influence on her. I made a mistake by leaving without saying goodbye to her and I want to earn her forgiveness…" He shushed me with a finger on my lips.

"You really think I'm worried about you upsetting her? You are the only fucking person on this earth who can actually calm her. You're her goddamn fairy for crying out loud. Why are you saying all this shit?"

I felt my tears rise again and I finally collapsed into his arms, pressing my face into his chest. "I'm not anymore."

I felt him let out a sigh and he held me for a few moments before pulling back abruptly and taking my hand, leading us into the house. "Fuck this. Let's go talk to her."

When we reached Sophie's room, Alice was just coming out of it and she squeezed my hand once before going downstairs.

Edward took a step behind me and urged me to go inside. I tentatively went into the room and walked over to the white tent. I knelt down in front of the castle, where Sophie was silently trying to put Tinker Bell to sleep. Her entire form was sullen, dejected.

I thought back to the first day I had been here, when Sophie had willingly let me into her castle and introduced me to Tinker Bell for the first time. My heart ached at how easily she had opened herself up to me and how badly I had hurt her in return.

"Sophie, can I say some things to you, sweetie?" I asked her slowly. She looked up at me and then looked behind me at Edward. Her eyes were full of too much pain. More than there should ever be in a five year old. Whatever she saw on Edward's face pleased her because she nodded slightly as she looked back down at her doll.

"Sweetie, I know Edward told you I didn't exist, but I do. He had to tell you that so that you wouldn't be sad that I had to leave."

She ran her hand down Tinker's hair once then looked at me with cautious eyes. "Did you go to another princess?"

I quickly shook my head.

"Why did you have to leave then?" She asked then. I decided that the least I owed her was honesty.

"Because I was bad. I hurt Edward. And Grandpa."

She looked at me with her sad eyes. She already knew this.

"Why?" She asked.

I took a deep breath. "I said a lie. And it was wrong."

She remained quiet. I bent towards her a little, wanting her to look at me.

"Sophie, no matter what happened, I shouldn't have left without saying goodbye to you."

She was quiet for a long time and I looked back at Edward once when her tiny voice broke the silence.

"Edward was sad. He thought he was happy, but he was sad." She said it in a matter of fact way. And I realized that all those times Edward put up a happy face for her, she knew how much he had been hurting. I felt crushed with the burden of my guilt for what I had put her through without knowing.

Then she finally looked at me again and her eyes were accusing.

"You promised you would make him happy."

"Chérie..." Edward interrupted quickly, coming inside the room now and squatted down on the floor beside me, giving my shoulder a squeeze as he kept his eyes on her.

"I hurt Isabella too, _princesse_. We were both sad. But now we are happy."

She looked between us a few times then at Edward's hand on my shoulder. Then she went back to stroking Tinker's hair in a dejected way.

"Sophie, I shouldn't have left without telling you, sweetie." I repeated.

"I am so so sorry. I will never ever do that again." I implored.

She looked at me again and this time her look was stronger. "Are you going to leave again?"

Edward spoke before I could. "No she's not." And I had to look at him, because the conviction in his voice caught me off guard. We hadn't talked about what would happen next just yet.

Sophie looked back at me. "Are you still a fairy?"

I let out a long breath and shook my head. I had lost the privilege and the inclination to be their savior. "Can I just be a princess now?"

She furrowed her brows. "Then who will take care of us?"

"We will take care of each other." I told her.

"Will you hurt Edward again?"

I looked at Edward and he looked back at me. I felt tears brimming in my eyes as I shook my head. "No. Never."

Then she got up and walked to Edward, wrapping her arms around his neck. "_Je veux dormir."_ She wanted to go to sleep.

I knew how sensitive Sophie was. I understood that it would take more than a few honest confessions out of me to regain her trust. But the fact that she had listened to me this far was more than I could have asked for.

I stood back as Edward carried her to bed and tucked her in. I stepped away to the doorway and watched them talk to each other in hushed whispers as he smoothed down her hair and she reached up to kiss his cheek.

Once Tinker was tucked tightly into her side, Edward kissed her head and turned on her nightlight before walking over to the doorway. Just as we were about to leave, I heard her little voice from behind us.

"Bella?"

I quickly turned around so I could see her. She was still lying in her sheets, her eyes drooping as she looked at me through her thick lashes.

"Don't leave again, ok?"

**A/N: To all you sweetiepies that continue to stay with this story week after week and let me know your thoughts on this…Thank You! *smothers you in ginormous squishy hug* You give me a reason to keep this story alive even when RL gets in the way or I feel uninspired.**

**Oh, also...I see that we are approaching the 1000 reviews landmark. This needs to be celebrated, right? The person who submits review number 1000 gets to pre-read the next chappy and make suggestions to me about the contents of the chapter before I post it. If that kinda stuff appeals to you, that is :)  
**

**To my beta jadalulu, thanks for saving me from the multi-necked monster. ILY, my co-baking soulmate.  
**


	30. Hold me tight

**"**_**You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back."**  
__ ~William D. Tammeus_

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

_"Bella?"_

_I quickly turned around so I could see her. She was still lying in her sheets, her eyes drooping as she looked at me through her thick lashes._

_"Don't leave again, ok?"_

At Sophie's words Edward stiffened beside me and took quick and long strides to be on her side in seconds. He crouched down on the bed next to her and ran a hand through her forehead while he whispered soothing words to her. I left the room wordlessly and stood outside, leaning on the wall next to her door. retribution

I took a deep breath and looked around the hall. The deep cream walls, the blue painting with the golden frame, the small tables that held exquisite crystal pieces that Lizzie had gathered over years. It was strange being back here. Back in Seattle I had felt every bit of myself finding its way home in Edward's arms. I didn't think I would ever feel out of place anywhere again.

But standing in this hallway I felt out of place. Because I should have been the one to be able to soothe Sophie. She had once let me do that to her. But now she no longer did, and I was responsible for that. So all I could do was stand out here and watch the tip of my shoe as it dragged back and forth on the floor. All I could do was wait for her to see how much I meant the words I had said to her tonight while hoping she would at some point find a way to forgive me.

I heard Sophie's door close softly and looked up towards it. Edward stood there with a hand on the door handle, as he studied my face. I smiled at him tightly and then looked down to the floor again. I heard him let out a sigh and then he slowly walked towards me.

He came to stand next to me. So close that I could feel the warmth of his chest against my arm. I could smell his cologne. I took in a deep breath, trying to get more of his smell inside of me. It was soothing. It made me feel like I wasn't out of place.

"Look at me." He said slowly and waited for me to respond. His hands were in his pockets and he was leaning on his side against the wall.

I turned my head and rested the side my forehead on the wall as I looked at him.

"You know that you brought back the life to every one of us, right?"

I looked down at his collar. I didn't deserve to hear things like that. Then I felt his hand under my chin and he pulled up and held it so I would look at him.

"You did. Don't you ever fucking doubt that. She's just a kid. Logic doesn't always work with them."

"I know." I gave up and moved until my face was in his neck and half of his body sandwiched me to the wall. I put one hand on his chest and the other around his waist.

Edward held me for a minute before pulling back and taking my hand in his.

"Let's go to bed."

My eyes widened and my face lit up. He rolled his eyes.

"Not _that_ kind of bed, perv. I'm sleepy."

I let out a small puff of air but let it go for the moment.

"I'm sleepy too, but we need to spend some time with everyone first. They're all waiting downstairs." I pushed away from him and started towards the stairs.

"Fuck them. I'm tired." Edward grabbed my hand and started walking to his room.

"Edward! No!" I dug my feet to the spot and yanked his arm backwards. "They've missed us." I said in a softer voice.

He scoffed. "They've missed you. They were probably happy to be rid of my ass for the few days I was away."

I frowned and stepped closer to him. This was the kind of moment that always broke my heart. He felt so unloved by his family at times.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and reached on my tiptoes to kiss his chin. "You know that's not true."

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes and bent down to kiss my lips. "I honestly don't give a fuck." He murmured in between kisses. "Especially right now." He pulled me closer to him and I opened my mouth to let him in. As if I could convince him of the love his family felt for him by making him feel all of mine. I felt his tongue touch the inside of my bottom lip and was about to reach out to him when…

"Isabella!" Alice's shriek carried up from the bottom of the staircase and echoed in the hallway.

I tried to pull back but Edward just pulled me back in. Alice continued the shrieking as Edward captured my lips in his again.

"I swear to god, Edward. If I come up there and find you keeping her from us, you are going to pay in blood, asshole. I let you have her all to yourself for three whole days! Send her down right now!"

I pulled back from Edward's lips with a giggle and then quickly took his hand, forcing him to follow me towards the stairs. He grumbled behind me but followed nonetheless.

I turned back to give him a smile then noticed something and giggled again. We stood at the top of the stairs when I came to a stop and reached out with my hand to clean off the smear of my lip gloss on his lips and chin. He just grabbed my hand and started kissing it in earnest instead of letting me do my thing.

"Isabella!" Alice shrieked again and I quickly pulled on Edward's hand to make our way down the stairs before we incited Alice's wrath too much.

"Go back to hell and stay there, Diablo." Edward shouted back while we started moving down again.

"It _was_ you keeping her there. Edward Cullen, I swear to god…" As we made our way down the second flight of stairs I saw Alice's form darting up the steps two at a time.

She saw us and narrowed her eyes at Edward. I quickly ran down to her and took her by the elbow, making her turn.

"We're here, Alice. Let's just go back downstairs."

"Fucking girlfriend stealing, pitchfork bearing…" Edward started but I quickly threw him a look over my shoulder.

He rolled his eyes but shut up. "Fine. I'm gonna go change." He spat and walked back up the stairs instead of following us.

I sighed and followed Alice to the kitchen where Jasper and Carlisle sat around the counter. They stopped talking and looked at me when we entered. Alice made a proud face as she dragged me along with her, like she had won a fight and was showing off her trophy. I shook my head as I smiled at the guys.

Carlisle held out his arm towards me and I smiled widely at him as I made my way to the bar stool beside him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me tightly to his side. He kissed the top of my head then pulled back to look down at me with a loving look, his eyes so full of love.

"Do you have any idea how glad I am to have you back?"

I leaned up to kiss his cheek then laid my head on his shoulder. I didn't know how to respond to so much love.

"Yeah, but I bet not as glad as Ed, though." Jasper smirked at me and I try to glare at him because I was expecting all the teasing but didn't want to deal with it in front of Carlisle where I couldn't kick his ass back. He saw that as a challenge and leaned forward a little as he munched on a packet of chips.

I quickly looked at Carlisle and smiled at him, hoping to engage him in some sort of conversation.

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Everything with you two alright?"

I glanced away from him and blushed slightly. "Yeah. Everything is…great." I chanced a glance at him and he looked relieved.

"You looked alright, but I also wanted to hear you say that to be sure." He explained.

"He doesn't act like a jerk around you anymore, does he? Because if he does, I swear to god…" Alice started but Jasper put a hand on her arm and cut in.

"So…everything's _great_, huh? Tell me, Izzy-boo. Has Eddyboy given you one of his stellar kisses yet? You know, some girl in high school actually offered him her entire trust fund if he would just kiss her once. He was kinda famous for that thing he does with his…"

"Who was famous?"

Edward entered the kitchen then, and the sound of his voice immediately put me at ease. Until I turned my head to look at him.

He was wearing his flannel pants and a black t-shirt. He was barefoot and walked casually over to the refrigerator, looking inside for a drink. My breath hitched and I froze on spot as soon as I saw him.

He hadn't taken any of his comfy clothes with him to Seattle. This was the first time I was seeing him this relaxed and at home after months. The last time I had seen him like this, every other time I had seen him like this, he had been so far out of my reach. But now him, his flannels, his gorgeous bare feet, were all within reach. Within _my_ reach. The knowledge that this gorgeous man in his sweats was mine kind of struck me again and I was breathing quickly and my heart was thumping in my chest. I hadn't realized that everyone was staring at me until Carlisle squeezed my shoulder and asked me if I was ok. At this, Edward's attention diverted from the fridge and he looked straight at me. His eyes throwing that intense and concerned look at me did me in and I gasped. He frowned slightly and tipped his head back a little, asking me in silence if I was ok. I nodded slightly and looked away from him.

The tension in the room had increased with Edward's entrance and everyone had gone quiet, switching their gazes between him and me repeatedly. Like they were watching a TV-show or something. Edward and my dynamic had changed completely since the last time we had all been gathered like this and they were curious to see how the new dynamic between us was. And they did absolutely nothing to hide their curiosity.

Edward grabbed a drink from the refrigerator and slammed the door closed as he walked to the counter. He took a sip from the bottle while keeping his gaze on me then narrowing his eyes at the rest of the family.

"What the fuck did you people say to her?" He asked in a low growl.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Whatever Edward. She was fine until you came and made her all weird."

He quickly looked at me and raised his eyebrows in question.

"No. I'm not weird." I said quickly and threw a nasty look towards Alice, begging for her to stop.

"You totally are. You were all relaxed before he came and then went all stiff as soon as you saw him."

Then she turned to him and narrowed her eyes at him. "What did you do to her, asshole? She's been all tense on and off ever since she came back."

"What did _I_ do? She was fine until you fuckers got to her. What the fuck did you say to her?" Edward yelled and looked at Jasper and at Carlisle too.

Carlisle sighed and removed his hand from my shoulder, leaning towards Edward. "Ok, everyone just calm down."

"Calm down! You want me to fucking calm down? I can't even leave my girl alone with you people for five minutes without you filling her head with crap about me?" Edward's bottle landed with a loud clang on the countertop.

"Oh my god, Edward. Get over yourself. It's not like all we do is sit around and talk about you all day while you're gone. Believe me, there are other things in this world that capture our interest." Alice spat back.

"Shut the fuck up, Alice. Why don't you go and poison someone else's head with your shit." Edward growled.

"Oh you shut up, you immature, self-centered…"

At this I shot up from my barstool and ran to stand in front of Edward, looking at everyone else with my back to him. I made a time out sign with my hands towards Alice.

"Stop. Stop. Stop. Ok? Just stop, please."

Edward put a hand on my shoulder and shook it. "What did she say to you?" His voice was loud in my ear.

I opened my mouth to answer him but Alice cut in first. "Tell us what he did to make you uncomfortable around him."

I closed my eyes and inhaled a deep breath. "She didn't say anything and he didn't do anything." I said to each of them.

Then I let out a deep sigh. "I'm tired. Can I just go to bed?"

"No!" Both of them shouted at the same time.

Seeing the irritation in my eyes both Carlisle and Jasper jumped into action. Carlisle started speaking to Alice. "Darling, Isabella and Edward are together now. We cannot interfere in their private…"

At the same time, Jasper was speaking to Edward. "Ed, man. Alice just worries about Isabella. She doesn't want her to…"

But I saw that none of them were really getting through to the other two. I sighed and put up my hands for everyone to stop talking. Everyone looked at me. I can't believe I was going to say this in front of Carlisle.

"I wasn't uncomfortable. I just…likedthewayEdwardlooked." I mumbled the last part while focusing on the marble top. The blush spread across my cheeks and I tried to will myself to stop it.

Carlisle's hand stopped my finger that was tracing patterns and I looked up to see him giving me a confused look. "What was that, darling? I don't think we caught that."

Oh my god. Could this get any more humiliating! I looked at Jasper and Alice and they definitely caught that. Jasper had the biggest smirk on his face and Alice looked at Edward's clothes in a disgusted fashion.

I didn't dare to look at Edward.

Carlisle squeezed my hand a little, reminding me that he was still waiting.

"I just…thought…Edward looked nice." I said to the marble top.

Carlisle quickly let go of my hand and looked behind me at Edward. Whatever he saw on Edward's face made an indulgent smile break across his face as he looked back and forth between us.

My face was flaming with embarrassment at this point.

Jasper stood up and slapped Edward on the back hard. "Dude! Score!"

Edward let out a groan, probably because of the wind being knocked out of him from the slap.

"See? I told you she'd come around to your killer looks sooner or later! She totally digs you when you are all hobo and shit. If that's not true love, I dunno what is."

Then Jasper went back to sit beside Alice and pulled her into his side. "See that, baby? Why don't _you_ like me when I'm in my sweats?"

Alice wrinkled her nose. "Because that's disgusting. Isabella, you really need to get better taste."

I finally turned around to look at Edward, who had a very amused look on his face as he still rubbed the spot on his shoulder that Jasper had assaulted.

"You like me in sweats?" He asked in a low voice that made me shudder even though it was soft and he probably didn't mean it in a dirty way. My face reddened even more, if possible, at the thought of getting turned on in front of his entire family and I turned around to leave.

He grabbed my waist and pulled me back so that I still stood with my face to his family and he stood behind me. Then he took a step forward and wrapped his arms all around my body, holding my hands in front of me, as he buried his face deep in my neck.

"I like you in sweats too," he whispered into my ear and started kissing the back of my neck. His face was hidden behind my hair but my face was on full display for the entire family to see. I don't know the last time I had blushed as much, even though both Carlisle and Jasper looked at us with the tenderest of looks and even Alice was watching with a smile on her face.

"Ugh."I grunted and turned around in Edward's arms, burying my face in his chest as I clutched on to his t-shirt.

He, however, wouldn't have that as pulled me back and then grabbed my face firmly in his hands. Before I knew it, his lips were on mine and one of his hands was holding the back of my head, making sure I couldn't move away.

The whole room erupted. Jasper let out loud whistles and Alice made gagging sounds. Carlisle cleared his throat and then laughed a hearty laugh.

Edward pulled back a little and threw a glance above my head.

"Fuck you all," he said to our audience then crashed his lips to mine again. When I couldn't help the tiny whimper that escaped me, he turned us around so that I was hidden away from the rest of them with only his back towards them, as he kissed me senseless.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

The next morning I was sitting in the kitchen and sipping a cup of coffee as Carlisle walked in. His eyes widened as he saw me there.

"Good morning, darling!" He walked up to me and kissed my cheek before throwing an appreciative glance at the counter.

"You didn't have to do this, you know." He said but I saw from the glint in his eyes how much he loved it.

I smiled at him. "I know. But I wanted to. Do you want me to make you a plate?"

"Sure. Thank you." He took a set on the bar stool next to me while I heaped an assortment of breakfast items from the counter top. I had once again gone all out and made them a feast for breakfast. Waffles, pancakes, fruits, bacon, eggs, juice, coffee. The whole deal.

"Is err…everyone else…still asleep?" Carlisle asked between a sip of his coffee.

I flushed immediately and paid a lot of attention to the fruit bowl as I tried to pick out the pineapples that I knew he liked. I knew that he wanted to ask if Edward was awake. And the fact that he was making a reference to Edward and I sharing a room last night made both of us feel awkward. Edward hadn't even allowed me to object to sleeping in his room when I tried to walk towards the blue room last night. After I tried to reason with him about easing the family into things by maybe sleeping apart for a few days, he had picked me up by the waist and placed me inside his room. Then he had silenced me with his kisses and we had spent most of the night tangled up in each other as he kissed me and drove me crazy until I fell asleep.

I should have been tired this morning but I wasn't. I had woken up early and spent all morning preparing breakfast for everyone so it would be ready when they woke up. And I had been in a ridiculously good mood and had hummed to myself the entire time I was cooking.

"Umm…I think so." I answered Carlisle without looking at him and handed him the plate wordlessly. Then when I sat back down on the stool opposite to him I looked up at him because he hadn't started to eat yet. He was looking straight at me with a small smile.

"You look happy." He stated. And just like that the awkwardness evaporated from me.

"I am." I told him honestly.

He nodded slightly and dug into his food. Then he suddenly remembered something.

"Oh, by the way. I have spoken to your hospital in Seattle. Edward told me that they might give you a hard time about taking the time off for being here. After our talk, the chairman of their board assured me that you are welcome to resume your residency whenever you want and they will give you no trouble whatsoever."

"Thanks, Carlisle." I sighed slightly and tried to hide the disappointment in my voice. As much as I should have felt relieved at hearing that my Chief of Medicine wouldn't make my life difficult, I couldn't even imagine going back to Seattle to resume my residency right now. My entire world – Edward – was right here and there was nowhere else I wanted to be. I gave Carlisle a tight smile and sipped my coffee.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Umm…if you want me to, I can also speak to the hospital here. I mean, I hear the residency program here in LA is actually even more prestigious than the one you are doing at Seattle and…I want you to have the option of that too. If that's something you might find appealing." He looked at me cautiously.

I wanted to throw my arms around Carlisle and beg for him to do exactly that, so that I would never have to leave this place. But I couldn't. Not yet. I had to talk to Edward first and see what he thought.

I opened my mouth to tell him that when I heard the shriek. It pierced through the entire house and broke the calm of the morning into pieces.

"BELLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Just like the first time I had ever heard that shriek, it tore right through my heart. But this one was different. The first time I had heard that shriek, something had told me to go after it out of concern. Back then, I had gone towards the person who sounded so pained to try to see if there was something I could do, even though the circumstances told me to not do so.

But the pull I felt towards the voice this time was different. It wasn't just concern. It was something else.

I was not hesitant. I was not unsure. She was calling for _me _this time, and it gave birth to something fiercely protective inside me.

As I tore through the house to get to her, something inside of me changed that day. As I flew up the stairs without even looking down to make sure I wouldn't stumble. As I felt my heart finding its way to something that belonged to it. All the while hearing Sophie's voice wailing out my name repeatedly.

I felt like a lioness. I felt more powerful than I had ever felt. I felt like I would put myself between anything and everything to protect that little thing that was calling out for me in that voice.

I didn't have to look for her when I reached the upstairs landing. She was standing outside the blue room, screaming towards it while a very disheveled Edward was on his knees behind her, holding her tightly to himself. He had obviously just woken up because of her screams and had come straight to her. She just stood there and screamed my name as her attack that tore through her and a hundred times more through Edward as his hands held her tightly and tried to soothe her.

I practically flew down the hallway and sank to a kneeling position right in front of Sophie. Edward's eyes widened as he saw me appear out of nowhere, as if he had forgotten that I was here.

Sophie saw me but she couldn't yet _see_ me. Her screaming did not decrease when she saw me.

Edward's face resting on her shoulder was just as pained as hers was. If not more.

I threw my arms around both of them, Sophie being held from both sides by me and Edward, while I lay my cheek on her head, and ran one hand down her hair while I ran the other through Edward's hair.

"Shhhh. I'm here. Bella's right here, sweetie."I cooed to Sophie. Maybe also to Edward. It didn't matter at this point.

I felt Edward reach out one of his arms and wrap it around my back and pull me even closer to them.

Sophie's screaming decreased in volume as Edward and I surrounded her on all sides and I pulled back so I could see her face.

"Sophie, sweetie. Look at me. I'm right here, baby. Bella is right here. See?" I took her hand and put it on my cheek.

She seemed to realize something as her eyes widened and she stopped screaming for a second. Her hand on my cheek pressed down to feel my flesh and then she flung her arms around my neck and dove towards me as Edward released his hold on her.

"Belllaaaa!" She wailed once but this time it was different. She wasn't calling for me to come to her anymore. She was acknowledging my presence. Her little body curled itself completely into me as I sat down on the floor with my legs folded under me. She had stopped screaming completely now and was sobbing relentlessly into my chest. Edward was still on his knees on the floor in front of us, clutching his hair. I held one arm out to him and he immediately moved so that he sat behind me, engulfing both of us in his arms. His legs came around my sides and engulfed my thighs too.

I leaned my back into Edward's chest while I rubbed Sophie's back and her head and her hair. I kissed her forehead and her head.

"I'm here, sweetie. I'm right here." I repeated over and over and over again as she sobbed. I occasionally moved my hands to rub Edward's arms around us, and reached up to run my hands through his hair on his head that was resting on my shoulder. I wished I had more of me that I could give to both of them.

We sat that way for a long time. Carlisle tried to talk us into getting off the floor once, but none of us seemed to want to let go anymore than Sophie did. He kissed each of us on the head once then silently went back downstairs.

When Sophie's sobs finally turned to whimpers and then to hiccups, I pulled back some of the hair off her face and kissed her tear stained cheek lightly.

"You ok, sweetie?" I whispered to her.

She hiccupped once again but didn't say anything. I turned to look at Edward but he wouldn't look at me either. He just held me even tighter.

"I thought you left again." She whispered into my chest in such a small voice that I barely heard her.

I frowned and kissed her cheek again as I pulled her more tightly into me. To let her know that I was right there.

"I was here, sweetie. I didn't go anywhere."I told her. She hiccupped again.

"I went to your room after I woke up. You weren't there."

I opened my mouth to say something but she continued.

"Even your bags and clothes weren't there." She said the "there" with a wail and started sobbing again.

I was out of words. I was out of more of myself to give. How could I possibly take away a hole inside of her that I had created. I knew that all I could do was be there and hold her and give her every bit of me that I could.

"My things are all in Edward's room, sweetie. I didn't go anywhere. I promise you. I was right here." But even as I said that, I knew how little that promise meant to her right then.

Then Edward raised his hand and brought it to her hair. "Chérie?" He called for her from my shoulder. His face was pressed to the side of mine and I felt his morning stubble rub against my cheek as he spoke. His voice was raspy from sleep and from all the emotions going through him.

Sophie didn't look up but she gave out a little sound like a whimper.

"Do you feel how hard we are holding her right now?"He rasped again.

Sophie's hold around me tightened at this. Edward must have felt it too because he squeezed me too.

"How can she go anywhere if we hold her this tight, baby?" He asked her in a whisper.

I pressed the side of my face further into him and the tears that now spilled from my eyes smeared over his cheek too.

Sophie finally pulled back and looked up at me. Then she looked at Edward and took in just how tight he held me. She appraised us with her messy sleep hair and her tear stained cheeks as I let my tears stain mine.

She looked at Edward and hiccupped once. "So if we don't let her go then she won't leave?"

I felt more tears blur my vision and I whimpered as I reached out to her again. She quickly jumped back into my lap and clasped her arms around my neck tightly.

"I'll never let go, Bella. Never, never."

"Me either, Sophie. Never, ever, ever." I whimpered to her and Edward turned his face to kiss the side of my head over and over again.

When we finally did get up, it was late morning. I had promised Sophie repeatedly that I wouldn't go anywhere even if she let go of my neck, but she didn't seem too convinced. So Edward just made us get up and go into Sophie's room and made us lie on her bed. He went downstairs and got Sophie some breakfast. Then he crawled into bed with us and we fed Sophie little bits of pancake as she clutched to my chest and only raised her head a little bit to take bites that he held out to her.

As reluctant as Sophie was to let go of me, Edward also kept his hands on me as soon as he could. While he fed Sophie, his legs were entangled with mine. I reached out and stroked his hair or his face or his arm every chance I got, but none of it seemed enough. Once Sophie finished eating, he changed sides and lay down on the bed next to me. He pulled Sophie's princess blanket around all three of us as we huddled together on Sophie's little bed.

I don't even know when all of us drifted off to sleep. I know Sophie drifted first, but I couldn't tell whether Edward or I was the first to go. I only woke up later in the afternoon when I felt someone pulling the blanket to further cover us. I opened my eyes to see Carlisle gently laying the blanket down over all three of us. He smiled a teary smile and I could see that his eyes were swollen. He leaned down and kissed my forehead then silently left the room again.

Sophie was not willing to leave the bed even after she and Edward were awake again. I understood and Edward understood, so we let her be. When Edward tried to get up and go to the bathroom, she got upset and begged for him to not leave her.

After that last time, we decided to just give up. So we spent the day in Sophie's princess bed that day. Through that entire day, we just lay there. All three of us squeezed together so there was no space at all anywhere between us, as we watched Beauty and the Beast on the little pink TV in her room over and over again. It would come to a stop and Sophie would jump out of bed to put it on again. Then Edward and I would both hold our arms out to her and she would jump on to both of us, knocking the wind out of us. She would giggle for a while as Edward tickled her until I picked her up and hid her with my body, protecting her from the evil prince. Then we would each kiss Edward and forgive him when he would pout. We did this over and over again through that entire day.

And it was more than the movie and the tickling and the huddling together on the little bed in a mansion that was filled with countless king size beds.

It was the first of many, many more of such blissful days to come.

It was our first day of truly being a _family_ together. In all its meaning of the word.

**A/N: I was going to have one more scene here but it got kinda heavy. I bumped it to the next chappy instead. So expect a shorter chapter next time. I think. I dunno. I tend to change my mind a lot. It should be up in a few days if I don't change my mind about it for the gazillionth time.**

**Thank you to ellie for posting the 1000****th**** review for SoS, and for pre-reading. Can't believe how sweet you were about it!**

**B!…I delivered Beastward. You know what you owe me, girly. Pay up!**

**Oooh, also...I started my second major story. First two chappies are up on my profile. It's called En route: lights. It has a Blabberella travelling through a strange country and meeting a quiet Edward who she drives crazy. It's very different from SoS but I'm having a lot of fun writing it. Also, I'm writing that one with shorter chapters and a faster update schedule.**

**Hope everyone's had a great Christmas and take care of yourselves in all the craziness tomorrow! Happy New Year, my lovelies. Mwah.  
**


	31. Nerves and butterflies

**"Nerves and butterflies are fine - they're a physical sign that you're mentally ready and eager. You have to get the butterflies to fly in formation, that's the trick." **

~Steve Bull

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

***********~*~*~*~*~*~**Isabella**~*~*~*~*~*~***********

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

"No, Bella. Not the iron, we want the shoe." Sophie held out her hand and waited for the shoe I was holding in my hand.

"But, Sophieeeee, I _always_ get the shoe." I whined.

She shook her head. "No, that's because Marvin is usually on your team. He is on my team today and he wants the shoe."

I pouted and held the shoe out to her, eyeing the space beside her with a narrowed look.

"Don't be mean to Marvin, Bella. He will take Edward's side then."

Jasper snorted from the couch and I threw him a warning look. He just ignored me and munched on his packet of chips.

"I don't care if he takes _someone_ _else's_ side." I picked up the iron and rolled the dice.

Sophie huffed. "Then you will only have me and Aunt Alice left on your side."

"I'm telling you, Sophe. Switch over to us while you still have time. We are going to be the winning team at the end. Don't say later that I didn't warn you." Jasper said with a little smirk.

I turned around on the floor and faced him. "Do you even know what Edward and I are fighting about?"

"No." He answered quickly. A little too quickly.

"Then why are the rest of you picking sides? You don't know who's right or wrong unless you know the context of the fight!"

"'Cause it's fun, Izzy-boo. You two fight like an old married couple that can't stand each other," he said in a matter of fact voice, then focused back on the TV.

I sighed as I rolled my dice again.

It had been a week since I came back to LA. A week of constant bickering between Edward and I. The rest of the family didn't know what we were fighting about, but for some reason they were having a blast seeing us fight. You'd think they would be concerned about us fighting like high school kids in the beginning of a relationship, but they even had a betting system established about who would win at the end of it all.

Edward and I had agreed on one thing at least. That the family wasn't to be involved in this fight of ours. So we had kept the actual reason for the bickering behind closed doors, but then our annoyance and frustration with each other spilled over in every interaction we had otherwise.

We had been concerned with Sophie taking things the wrong way and thinking that this would somehow lead to me leaving again. But the bickering had the opposite effect on her. Since she was not fully aware of the development of our relationship other than the fact that I slept in Edward's room, she recognized our bickering as how Edward and I had always interacted before I left. This made the whole situation feel familiar to her and gave her a sense of return to normalcy in her life. The only thing she did was admonish us when our arguments got too heated or threaten to unleash the vacuum cleaner on us.

This whole week had been bizarre.

I went back to continue my residency at the hospital in LA and due to what I suspect to be a generous donation from the Cullen funds, everyone welcomed me with open arms even though I left without notice a few months ago. At home, Sophie and I spent every minute of our free time together. She still panicked at times when I left the room or when she didn't see me for too long. Edward and I took to sleeping with his door slightly open so that she could climb into the bed with us in the middle of the night whenever she wanted. It wasn't unusual for me to wake up with both Sophie and Edward draped across my body from each side.

Carlisle and I took little moments to talk whenever we had the time. We hadn't talked about Lizzie just yet, but I realized that we were all first trying to get used to the idea of me being back here before we delved into the heavy stuff. Alice and Jasper came by the house every evening and we had dinner together every night.

Things were pretty much starting to go back to how it used to be before. Except for the fact that Edward and I were no longer cooking the meals for the family.

Because we couldn't be that close to each other and interact that much for more than five minutes before a major fight broke out.

It was ridiculous. Edward and I were playing this ridiculous game of cat and mouse, except I didn't know which one of us was which. We were both frustrated at the other for holding back on what the other person wanted and we bickered about everything else because of that. Behind closed doors, we played a twisted game of trying to seduce the other without making it seem like it was an attempt at seduction. The only difference was, he was seducing me to tease, to give me a taste of what I was missing out on. And I wasn't teasing. I just wanted to reach the finish line.

Sophie and I continued our game of Monopoly for another hour. In the meantime, Jasper left to go pick up Alice from work and then go home, and a little later Carlisle came home. He said Edward had picked up dinner and was on his way and he asked me if I had had a good day. I told him that work had been tiring but I was happy about it being the weekend finally.

Then _he_ came home.

I swear to God, he wore that white shirt this morning just because he caught me looking at him with lusty eyes three days ago when he was trying it on. And of course, he knew how much I liked the whole I-am-just-coming-home-from-work-and-am-dead-tired look on him, with his upper buttons undone, his cuffs rolled up, tie loose around the neck, and he was of course all that as he strutted into the living room.

"Dad, they didn't have the lobsters today. I brought the seafood chowder," he said to Carlisle as he made his way across the room and picked Sophie up in his arms right in the middle of our game.

"_Bonsoir_, _princesse_." He kissed her on the cheek and she kissed him back. Then he threw this steely glance towards me.

"Isabella." He nodded. He _nodded!_

I huffed and got up to just leave. I snatched the packet of food from his hands and went to the kitchen to serve the food up.

"_Ne vous battez pas!"_ I heard Sophie yell at us to not fight at the same time as Edward strutted into the kitchen.

I just turned my back to him and focused on the food while he stood there and huffed.

"You know, I don't expect you to exactly jump up into my arms when I come home, but a simple "Hi. Nice to have you home" would be fucking nice at times."

I turned around to face him and gave him a level look. "Funny. I was going to say the same thing to you. Oh also, a kiss would be nice once in a while. I'm not even sure I remember what one of those feels like anymore."

He crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes. "It's been a fucking week since I last kissed you. How the fuck are you a doctor with the memory span of a fucking goldfish?"

I just stood there with an unaffected look on my face. My eyes drifted for a moment to how gorgeous his torso looked in that damn white shirt and he noticed as his lips lifted in a smirk.

"You know what you have to do to get a kiss. And anything else you want." He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

I grimaced. "Go away, Edward." I turned around and focused on the food.

This is what had been going on all week. And by this point, I was ready to burst out of the sexual tension inside of me.

Remember the days when I used to know that Edward was good looking but his beauty just wasn't relevant to me? Those days were long history.

It was relevant. Very, very relevant.

In fact, it was all I thought about. All the time. All day. Even when he wasn't around.

Maybe this was what he wanted and he had played me exactly right so he had me at this point. Whatever it was, his tricks were working like magic. He had gone from touching me and kissing me insistently for three whole days in a row to touching me as little as possible and only when he had to. The problem was, now I knew what I was missing.

I constantly thought about his lips. I could write epic poems about his lips, and I couldn't even rhyme to save my life.

I wanted his jaw. I wanted to touch his hair. I wanted to take off his stupid shirts and t-shirts so I could see his torso. And I wanted to burn all his goddamn pants.

My admission last week about me liking him in his sweats had not gone to waste during this evil game of Edward's. Whenever he was in the house, he was always in sweats now. He tried to hide it from me, but I knew that he had bought a whole new collection of sweats and he had been parading around in them all week.

Don't get me wrong, I had tried my own methods of trying to get him to break his stupid resolve. I hadn't gone as far as strutting around in lingerie yet, but I was starting to consider taking up Alice on her offer of going shopping for that. So far, I'd stuck to simpler methods. Like waking up before he did in the morning and placing his hand on my body or lifting my nighty a little over my thighs before pretending to be asleep.

But the stupid boy was fixed in his resolve. He wanted me to meet his demands if I was to get anything in return.

When I finally finished dishing up dinner I called them all into the kitchen so we could eat. Edward had changed and showered by now and he chatted with Sophie during the entire length of dinner. Carlisle kept trying to engage me in conversation and I tried to keep up with him, but the tiff with Edward was starting to take its toll on me and I was in a bad mood.

After dinner, Edward didn't even look at me as he went to the living room and turned the TV back on. Carlisle offered to clean up and I picked up Sophie in my arms and we went to the living room to watch TV too. Edward was sprawled out on the couch and even though he didn't look at us when we came in, he moved his legs and made space. I considered taking the other couch just to mess with him, but I sighed as I realized being a little close to him even if we weren't touching was better than nothing.

There was a wrestling match on and Sophie and Carlisle got all excited when they saw it. But Edward put his foot down and demanded we watch a romantic comedy that was playing instead. Sophie and Carlisle looked at him like he had grown two heads and he just ignored them as we settled down for the movie.

I saw him throw glances towards me once in a while as the movie started but I just ignored him.

It was a movie about a girl and a boy who meet as teenagers and fall madly in love. Even though their early interactions were light and fun, as the movie progressed and they admitted their love for each other, their relationship became very passionate. Every time they kissed, there was a lot of fire in each kiss and each touch. I felt Edward's eyes on me the whole time now and once the boy finally threw the girl against a wall and kissed her like his life depended on it, I couldn't take it anymore. Sophie had fallen asleep in my arms by now and I gently handed her over to Carlisle before darting to the kitchen.

I took out a glass and poured myself some water to try to swallow down the clump in my throat. But as soon as I was done drinking I snapped and started to sob. I held on to the kitchen sink with one hand and put a hand over my mouth with the other as I sobbed quietly.

"Isab-" Edward's voice wavered as he walked into the kitchen. I stopped my sobs immediately but didn't turn back to look at him, hoping he'd just go away.

"You ok?" He asked, his voice laced with concern. At the sound of that, a whimper broke out of my throat. Before I knew it, he was behind me and forcing me to turn so he could see my face.

"Why the fuck are you crying?" He asked, totally perplexed.

"Don't worry about it," I tried to shove him aside so I could walk away but he just grabbed my arm.

"Tell me what the fuck is going on," he demanded in a commanding voice.

I looked down at the hand that was holding my arm then looked up at him with angry eyes. "Oh, _now_ you touch me? Of course."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He was very confused.

"Look at us, Edward! I throw myself at you for an entire week and you don't so much as even look at me. The only time you do touch me is when you are worried or concerned. I'm not sexually attractive to you. If someone who looked like Tanya Denali slept next to you for an entire week, would you really be able to keep your hands off her?"

He let go of my arm and looked like I had just slapped him. I sighed and looked away.

"Look, I can't blame you. I mean, you look like _you_ and I am just…well, me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go all melodramatic on you. It's just been a frustrating week. You obviously don't want me that way-"

Suddenly, he had once again grabbed both my upper arms and then pushed me against the door of the refrigerator.

"_I_ don't want _you_?" His eyes were flashing with outrage as he looked down at me. "Were you even fucking there the night all this started? I was fucking begging you, Isabella. And you fucking said no."

"Edward-" I started but he cut me off again.

"No. You don't get to play victim. I am the one who has been going around for a fucking week feeling like the biggest loser in the world while this should have been one of the happiest weeks of my life."

Then he did something I never saw coming. He pressed me flat against the refrigerator and then pushed his lower body into mine. I gasped as I felt his physical desire for me press into my thigh for the first time.

"And don't you fucking go _there_. Is this me not wanting you sexually?" He spat the last word then pressed himself a little more into me, causing my breath to hitch.

"I have been going around with a fucking hard on for a week because you refuse to act rationally. So _you_ don't get to come here and throw Tanya fucking Denali in my face. Excuse me if I wanted our relationship to be about a bit more than just fucking each other."

With that he pulled back and stomped out of the kitchen and up to his room.

I stood in the kitchen, dumbfounded for a long time. He had been just as frustrated as I was. I knew that, but didn't know that he was just as frustrated sexually too.

I had been upset this whole week because I thought that it was easy for him to put his foot down about this because his body didn't crave me as crazily as mine did him. But that wasn't it at all. He did. Just like mine did. And he _still_ overcame that and put his foot down about this whole _situation_.

I turned back to the sink and poured myself another glass of water. As I drank it, I looked at my reflection on the kitchen window as I considered my fight with Edward a week ago under a whole new light.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

It was the day Sophie had her attack. I had fallen asleep after our movie marathon and I woke up in the middle of the night to a dark room. I was lying on my back and the only thing I could see were the red dots from Sophie's nightlight that danced around the ceiling. I looked down to see that Sophie's head was on my chest and it rose and fell with my each breath. Her arms and legs were draped around me and she was pressed tightly to my side.

I smiled at the peace that enveloped her face and gently ran a hand through her messy hair that was all over the place. It had grown a lot since I last saw her and reached almost down to her waist. She hadn't let me comb it all day while we stayed in bed and watched Beauty and the Beast. Edward and I hadn't pushed her with anything at all and let her do exactly what she wanted. She had needed this day with me, with Edward, with us surrounding her and staying with her and assuring her of our presence.

Even when it was time for bed, she hadn't wanted us to leave. But her bed was too small for the three of us to actually sleep on it so Edward had brought an air mattress and lay down on the floor beside the bed while I took the bed with her. Edward had been reading a book to us when both Sophie and I had drifted off to sleep.

I lifted my head carefully so as to not disturb Sophie and looked to the floor beside us to the air mattress. It was empty.

I looked around the room and squinted my eyes to try to see through the darkness, but he was nowhere around. The light to the bathroom was not on either.

I gently untangled myself from Sophie and got out of the bed. I put Tinker into her arms and wrapped the blanket around her tightly, the way she liked it. She was in deep sleep and didn't even move.

I squinted my eyes to the light in the hallway when I came out of Sophie's room. I left her door slightly ajar as I headed towards Edward's room. It was dark everywhere in the room except for a faint light from the bathroom. I pushed on the slightly open door but he wasn't in there either. Then I noticed a slight breeze through his room and realized the door to his balcony was open.

From the doorway of the balcony I saw him standing by the railing, looking out into the dark ocean. He was still wearing his flannels and I was also in my sweats from earlier this morning since none of us had been allowed to leave Sophie long enough to shower. Edward was bent a little on the waist, leaning down with one elbow on the railing, his other hand holding a cigarette up to his lips. The bright red light from the cigarette burning was in sharp contrast to the darkness of the ocean outside.

The night breeze was kind of cold and it made me shiver slightly. I slowly walked up to stand beside Edward and pressed my front to his side. I placed one hand between his shoulder blades and wrapped the other one around his bicep that my chest pressed into. My chin rested on his shoulder.

"Why are you smoking? You only do that when you are stressed about something."

He looked down at me and smiled slightly, then removed the cigarette from his lips and flicked it into the ocean below.

"I missed you today," he said without looking at me, eyes still on the ocean.

I chuckled and pressed into him a little more. "We spent the entire day together."

He tilted his head so his cheek rested on my forehead. "Not like this."

I rubbed his back. Up and down. "No, not like this."

He turned then, placing his hands on my waist and making me move so I stood with my back resting against the railing and his body trapped me there.

"_Tu es ma vie_." He whispered as he looked right into my eyes. I smiled because he usually only spoke French to Sophie. And because my basic knowledge of French allowed me to understand what that meant. _I am his life._

"I do understand some of that, you know." I warned him.

"Is that right?" He chuckled lightly.

"Yes. So don't be trying to say bad things about me to Sophie in French and think that I won't know what you're talking about." I said in a stern voice.

He raised an eyebrow at this. "Then I think this proficiency in French needs to be put to test. _Le ciel est bleu_." He pulled back and crossed his arms over his chest and made this serious face, but his eyes twinkled.

"What about it?" I asked and held the railing beside me on both sides, spreading my arms out.

"Tell me what it means," he ordered. I rolled my eyes.

"The sky is blue."

"_Je déteste__s les tomates,_" he said next.

I chuckled at that, but answered anyways. "I hate tomatoes. "

He frowned slightly, amused by the extent of my knowledge of French so far. Well, he was kind of saying very basic things so far anyways, so it wasn't too difficult to keep up.

"_Le diable est gras_."

"The devil is…fat?" I frowned as I answered that one…why would the devil be…Oh! My eyes widened and I gave him an incredulous look. He just smirked in an evil way.

"Alice would kill you if she heard that." I told him in all honesty.

"Fuck her. Next one…_Tu es meilleur que _Marvin."

I let my shoulders sag and gave him a tired look. "You are not." He wanted me to say that he was better than Marvin. Yeah, right. Like I'd ever admit that.

"No?" He made this face. Very uncharacteristic of Edward. Like he was hurt. I knew he wasn't at all and he was just playing, but I went along with it anyways. I was getting tired of this pop quiz and he was standing so close to me but wasn't touching me.

So I released the railing and took a step closer to him. He kept looking down at me with that mock hurt look on his face. I placed both my hands over his forearms that were folder over his chest and leaned close to his face.

"Yes you are. You are _much_ better than Marvin." Then I gently pressed my lips to his once, very softly. "Better than everyone and everything else." I kissed him again.

He took in a long breath and unfolded his arms, bringing them around my hips and pulling me into his chest. _"I__l __n'y a pas __d'autres __pour __moi,''_ he whispered into my ear.

I smiled and pretended like we were still playing the game. _"_There's no one for me but you either.'' I breathed into his chest.

His hold around me tightened. _"__Tu es mon monde entier.'' _

"You are my entire world too._''_ I sighed as my heart felt full with my love for him.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my neck. Then he wrapped his arms all the way around my back and pulled me flush to his chest so there was no space left between us. His face stayed hidden in my neck for a long time and he just breathed me in. My arms were trapped on his sides and I wanted to run them through his hair because I could feel that he was having some sort of a moment. Edward always put up such a strong front and it was so easy to forget while he joked or threw fits how much he and Sophie were similar. He needed to be loved and reassured just as much as she did sometimes. I tried to pull my arms out from under his to bring him closer but his already tight grip around me became even tighter, as he refused to let me go. I was getting worried now.

"Edward?" You could clearly hear my worry in my voice.

He took in another deep breath.

"_Je t'aime." _

And with that, his hold on me became so tight that I could barely breathe anymore.

I rubbed his back, because it was the only part of him I could reach, as I spoke to his chest.

"Baby, why are you nervous about telling me that? I told you I love you months ago."

He sucked in a deep breath and pulled his head back, still keeping a firm hold around me. His eyes were bright and frantic.

"Say that again."

"What? Baby?" I frowned.

His face relaxed and he smirked slightly. "That too. But the other thing."

I chuckled now and leaned towards him to kiss him, but he pulled back, waiting to hear the words from me again. I didn't know what the big deal was. Whether or not we loved each other had never been the issue between us. They were just words that we hadn't spoken out loud, but my love for him was as much of a given as the air I breathed.

"Isabella…" His hands on my hips gripped tightly and he growled, thinking I was doing this to tease him. I was just trying to understand him better.

"More than Marvin. Much, much more than Marvin. More than anyone else I know, I love _you_, Edward Cullen." I said with a smile.

His eyes were so tender, they took my breath away. Like he couldn't believe it. Like he didn't deserve it.

I saw his face change then, as it all suddenly dawned on him. He was loved. Utterly and completely loved. My actions had been screaming that to him, but the words were for some reason what it took to finally let him realize it completely.

He suddenly let me go and took a step back from me, panic etched across his face.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." He turned around and started pacing.

I went to him and touched his shoulder but he brushed me off.

"Edward!" I admonished him, but it was like he couldn't even hear me. Then suddenly he stopped pacing and walked straight up to me, his eyes wild with something.

"What happens when you decide to leave?"

Ok. I didn't see _that_ one coming. "Why would I leave?"

He ignored that.

"And Sophie…what about her? You saw how she was today. Fuck, Isabella." He started pulling his hair frantically.

"Baby.." I tried and reached out to him. But he looked at me like he couldn't even hear me. He just grabbed the hand that I had held out and almost crushed it because he held it so hard.

"If you leave, Isabella…if you leave…" He couldn't even finish that sentence.

I frowned because I didn't understand why my telling him I loved him would cause this kind of panic in him.

"I don't understand." I told him. And I sounded just as lost as I felt.

His eyes snapped to me as he finally heard me.

"What is it you don't fucking understand? You are so fucking deep in me." He pounded the space over his heart. Then he looked away again, clutching his hair.

"So fucking deep…If she left…" He mumbled to himself and rubbed his chest, as he looked out to the ocean, like he could find some answers there.

I stood there with my arms on my sides, completely and totally lost. I didn't know what to say or do to calm him. I knew he needed reassurance and that's all I could offer him.

I took a tentative step towards him, but he didn't move. I put a hand on his bicep but he just kept his eyes on the ocean as he tried to solve some sort of problem in his head.

"Edward? I love you. I mean it. I'm not going anywhere. Why are you freaking out?"

His eyes once again snapped to mine and they were cold and accusing.

"People leave, even though they say they love you. Love isn't a guarantee that they'll stick around."

His words hit me like a bucket of cold water. This was the damage that his past had left behind. These were the wounds I would be forever licking. And I would do it as many times as it took.

I sighed and rested my head on his arm that I had been rubbing. "No, it's not."

Then he suddenly pulled away from me and looked down at me with a determined expression on his face. He took a hold of my upper arms and fixed me with his gaze.

"Marry me."

I took in a quick breath. "What!"

"You fucking heard me. Marry me."

"Edward!" I whispered in horror.

"What? If you are not planning on leaving, then why not marry me?" His face took on a suspicious expression.

I let out a sigh and shook my head in exasperation. "Are you freaking kidding me with this?" My voice was a bit louder than I intended it to be.

He let go of me and took a step back, his face taking on an angered expression.

"No, I'm not fucking kidding you, Isabella. I just asked you to fucking marry me. Most women would be jumping up and down out of joy when their boyfriends ask them to marry them, not look at me like I just asked them to jump into the fucking ocean."

I closed my eyes for a second to gather myself. Getting angry right now wouldn't be the wise way to go.

"Edward, you don't mean that."

"What don't I mean?"

"You don't want to marry me."

His face now took on an outraged expression. "Don't fucking tell me what I want. I asked you a question. Just fucking answer it."

Now my own anger flared. "You are not asking it for the right reasons."

"How the fuck would you know –" He started, but I cut him off.

"A piece of paper won't convince you that I will stay if my words and actions alone won't."

He saw that I had looked through his motives. So he abruptly turned around and left the balcony. I stood there for a few seconds, taking deep breaths, trying to steady myself. He was confused and lost and scared and that's why he was doing this. As much as it made me angry that he would bring marriage up in this way, I out of all people had to see the young boy in him that was just scared right now and needed me to confirm my love for him.

So I calmed myself down and then went back inside, to find him sitting on the edge of his bed, with his head in his hands. I immediately went to sit beside him and wrapped my arms around him.

"Look at me," I whispered to him but he didn't comply.

"Bind yourself to me, Isabella. Give me this one thing. For the sake of my fucking sanity," he said into this hands.

"Edward, the day I marry you, it won't be because you need to reassure yourself that I won't leave. On the day we get married, you won't doubt for even a fraction of a second that I will ever leave you."

He took in a deep breath and looked up with me with a defeated look.

"I don't give a fuck. Just marry me."

I smiled. That was so very him.

"I will. Once I have convinced you that I won't leave. Just let me do that for now."

He swallowed. "I can't. I can't get closer to you like this. The closer I get, the more I lose myself. And it's fucking terrifying."

I moved even closer to him then. "Baby, the closer you get, the more you will see just how completely you own me."

He kissed me then. He grabbed the back of my head and took my lips in his. Before I had a chance to respond, he pulled back and laid our foreheads together.

"Marry me anyways," he breathed.

"No. There are other ways I can reassure you in," I breathed back and moved my hands to the top button of his shirt.

He suddenly let go of my head and moved away from me, narrowing his eyes slightly. "No? I fucking proposed to you and you're actually saying "no"?

I rolled my eyes. "Edward, that wasn't a proposal. That was you freaking out and thinking it's a way to tie me down. Now stop being so dramatic and just shut up and kiss me."

He looked at me for a long second as he deliberated something, then stood up from the bed, re-buttoning his shirt meaningfully.

"_No_." His voice was calm but full of acid as he spat my word back at me.

"No?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"_No_. Motherfucking, _no_. If you won't marry me, I won't kiss you. Or do anything else with you."

"Anything else?" I repeated.

"Yes. _Nothing_ else."

I tilted my head and gave him a level look. "Oh, _please_. You are blackmailing me? You won't sleep with me unless I marry you? Do you even hear yourself and how crazy you sound?"

"Marrying me is crazy?" He asked, horrified.

I rolled my eyes. "No. Blackmailing me into marrying you by holding back sex is crazy."

"That's the fucking point! I shouldn't _have_ to blackmail you!"

"Edward." I sighed. I didn't know what else to day.

He just shook his head in exasperation. "You know what, I am fucking tired. I wanna go to sleep."

"Fine." I huffed and started for the door but he run ahead of me and blocked the way.

"Don't you fucking dare. You aren't going anywhere until we figure this shit out." I saw in his face that he meant it.

"Fine." I huffed again and made for the bed.

He turned the lights off and crawled into bed next to me but didn't touch me. I lay there with my back to him and huffed for a long time in the darkness. Finally I felt him run a fingertip along my spine and I shivered slightly.

"You're really not going to marry me?" He asked in a quiet voice.

"You're really not going to have sex with me unless I say yes?" I asked back.

"No." He said.

"No." I said back.

o~*~*~*~*~*~o

And so it continued for a week. This same fight. In different versions, using different phrases and attacks and defenses. But always the same conclusion.

No matter how much I tried, I just couldn't get through to him that I was doing this for us, for the long term. I never wanted either of us to wonder whether we were only together because we used each other as crutches. I wanted our relationship to have a solid ground on its own before we made a commitment like marriage.

But it just didn't get through to him. He only saw my refusal as a rejection and was solely fixated on getting me to say yes, no matter what the price was.

Until now, I had thought that the price he was paying had been small.

Now, after he had pressed it into my lower abdomen, I realized that the price he had been paying had not been small at all. Nope. _Definitely_ not small.

And as I stood there, looking at myself in the kitchen window, I decided that I would put a stop to all this tonight. We had both already paid more than our share of dues and I was going to see to it so that we each got what we deserved.

**A/N: So I am in bed, right? All cozied up with the view of the city from my window on my side, leaning against my fluffy pillows and buried under the covers, snow falling in the background…you get the picture…I'm all comfy and don't wanna move and my eyes are droopy. Then I check my Twitter ('cause I am addicted to my phone like that) and see that jadalulu okay'd this chappy (who is incidentally my Beta and who I incidentally would LOVE to have over in Sweden so she can kiss me and take me to IKEA).**

**So I think…stay in bed in my cozy haven…or get up, plug on the laptop, connect internet, write an A/N and upload chappy? **

**My tired mind and body that have been studying the entire day for an exam this Friday say: "Stay put and go to sleep for god's sake. If you get up now and do all that you won't be able to fall asleep for hours."**

**But just then…like a scene from a movie…my phone chimes with this review: ****  
**_**"I have just started reading this fic. I dont think I am going to sleep  
tonight. Yeeeeeep"**_

**Poetic justice? Yup. **

**If my readers are gonna lose sleep over this story, you bet your cute little behinds that I'm gonna do the same.**

**So here you go…you can thank the anonymous reviewer for making me post this now instead of tomorrow **

**And umm…yeah…I realize I left you with a cliffie. It's 'cause I want to know what you guys think before I make the next move. It's kind of a big deal, whichever road they take now. Who should win? Him or her? You kids want in on the Cullen betting pool? Alice is the bookie…j/s.**

**Just so we are clear, we get a lemon in the next chappy if Isabella wins O_o**


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